Where the Boys Are (1960) Movie Script
1
[instrumental music]
(narrator)
For 50 weeks of the year,
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
is a small corner
of tropical heaven
basking contentedly
in the warm sun.
During the other two weeks
as colleges
all over the country
disgorge their students
for Easter vacation
a change comes over the scene.
The students swarm to these
peaceful shores in droves.
Twenty thousand strong.
They turn night into day
and the small corner of heaven
into a sizable chunk of bedlam.
The boys come
to soak up the sun
and a few carloads of beer.
The girls come very simply
because this is
where the boys are.
[upbeat music]
[instrumental music]
(narrator)
It is one week
before the annual invasion.
Meanwhile on the campus
of a Midwestern university
1200 miles to the north.
[wind whooshing]
[dramatic music]
[sneezes]
[sneezes]
Isn't this
the living end?
[groans]
How do you feel?
Oh, do you really
wanna know?
I could upchuck
right here and now.
I know what you mean.
Oh, listen,
they're having a sale
on swimsuits at Kringle's.
Half price. We oughta pick up
a couple for Fort Lauderdale.
I'm not going, Tuggle.
What do you mean, not going?
It was all set.
- I can't.
- Why?
I'm behind in every course.
I have two term papers
to make up. I just can't.
Oh, you can do it
down there.
At least we'll be out
of Siberia for a while.
- We'll get some sun.
- The sun?
There is no sun.
I think they blew it up
with the moon shot.
(female #1 )
'Merritt!'
Hi, Tug.
Hey, kids,
I just spoke to Angie.
Her roommate was down there
last year
and had a ball,
an absolute ball.
When are we leaving?
(Tuggle)
Merritt can't go.
Oh, Merritt, if you don't go,
I won't go, either.
What have I got
to do with it?
It's spring vacation.
If we were all smart
we'd spend spring vacation
in the infirmary.
Come on, we're late.
Hey, Mel.
Can you talk to her
during class?
- Which class is it?
- Courtship and marriage.
Oh, the birds and the bees?
You'll have the whole hour.
Now, lay it on thick.
Tell her that the trip
is strictly for our health.
[sneezes]
And that's no lie.
(female #2)
'For many freshman women'
'college provides
their first experience'
'in an adult
heterosexual society.'
Their first
unrestricted contact
with members
of the opposite sex.
This sudden freedom
may give rise to problems
of interpersonal relationships.
Today we discuss
two of those problems.
'Random dating
among college freshmen'
and premature
emotional involvement.
Suppose we begin with you,
Miss Andrews.
'Miss Andrews?'
Oh! Uh-yes-yes, Dr. Raunch.
Have you any comment to make
on what our text terms
"Random dating?"
Well, it, uh
it certainly
is random sometimes.
[laughter]
And have you arrived at any
other world-shaking opinions?
Dr. Raunch, I really
don't feel very well today.
(Dr. Raunch)
'None of us do, I'm sure.
Answer the question, please.'
Well, frankly, I thought the
text was a little old-fashioned.
It didn't have much to do
with modern college life
as far as I could see.
And just how far is that?
Well, take the discussion
on emotional involvement
on the first date.
In this day and age,
if a girl doesn't become
a little emotionally involved
on the first date
it's gonna be her last
with that man anyhow.
[sneezes]
Honestly, doctor,
if a girl doesn't make out
with a man once in a while,
she might as well leave campus.
'Cause she's considered
practically antisocial.
But, you have used the term
"Make out."
'Define that, please.'
I-I beg your pardon?
I should like to know
what making out means
and so would the class.
Well, I-uh.. Dr. Raunch,
I think they know already.
[girls giggle]
Uh!
Ma-making out is what used
to be called necking.
Before that it was petting,
and going back
to early American days,
it was also known as bundling.
It's-it's all the same game.
I'm sure this game of yours
is not mentioned in the text.
Well, that's exactly
the point I'm trying to make.
Dr. Kinsey says--
'We are not discussing
Dr. Kinsey.'
We are discussing
interpersonal relationships.
Well, what could
be more interpersonal
than backseat bingo?
[laughter]
Miss Andrews.
Just what do you consider
suitable subject matters
for discussion in this course?
We're supposed
to be intelligent.
So why don't we get down
to the giant jackpot issue
like should a girl or should
she not under any circumstances
play house before marriage?
I'd be afraid to ask
your opinion on such a subject.
Don't be afraid.
My opinion is yes.
Miss Andrews,
report to the dean.
[sighs]
[sneezes]
You're quite outspoken
aren't you, Merritt?
Dean Caldwell,
what happened today
in class is my fault
and I'm sorry for it.
I intend to apologize
personally to Dr. Raunch.
That might be nice.
You have an extremely
high I.Q., Merritt
and yet your marks
are barely passing.
What seems to be the problem?
I don't know.
I try, I really do.
I study like a fiend.
[coughs]
Just doesn't seem to be
enough time for everything.
Would you like to stay on here
at the university, Merritt?
Oh, yes.
Y-yes, I-I would very much.
My family went to a lot
of expense to send me here.
I'd hate to disappoint them.
'So would I,
but we may have to.'
Suppose we let
the final decision rest
until after spring vacation?
'Perhaps 10 days at home
will help you'
'to see things more clearly.'
'You are going home?'
Well, I-I had intended to, uh..
I'd-I'd rather not
see my folks just now.
Oh, it-it's not that
they aren't wonderful.
They're darlings, but..
[sighs]
I-I can't talk to them.
Not about things
that really matter
Not about this.
Come see me
when you get back.
Thank you.
Dr. Raunch tells me
when I spoke to her
on the phone she suggested
that you might be
overly concerned
with the problem of sex.
'Do you think you are, Merritt?'
Dean Caldwell, I...I'd say
there were probably
a half a million coeds
in this country.
Imagine 98 percent of them
are overly concerned
with that problem.
[chuckles]
So in that respect,
I guess I'm fairly normal.
Good afternoon, Merritt.
Hey, how did it go?
Oh, I'm still in school.
I'm not sure for how long.
I think you were perfectly right
to stand up to old Raunchy.
[sneezing]
Did you actually mean
what you said?
Ooh. About what?
You know
what you said about
before marriage.
Oh!
If I see one more inch of snow,
just one more flake
I'm going to absolutely barf!
[wind howling]
[instrumental music]
Fort Lauderdale
and Miami straight ahead.
Mm. Smell that ocean.
Merritt, you look
better already.
Considering we haven't
slept in two nights.
Angie, just for safe,
in case you ever meet my folks
I spent spring vacation
at your house, right?
In Chicago, every second.
What if I run into your folks.
Where were you?
Who cares?
That's the nice part about being
captain of the
girls hockey team.
Your parents know you're safe.
(Tuggle)
'Just feel that sun.'
I'm gonna soak it up
through every exposable pore.
Me too. Hey, let's get a tan
to end all tans.
How about it, Mer?
All I want is some peace
and quiet and a chance to study.
Oh, you sure picked
the right spot for it.
Last year there were
only 20,000 kids down here.
- Why don't we all admit it?
- Admit what?
We're going to Lauderdale
for one reason.
To meet boys.
So now it can be told.
What's wrong with running
into a little fresh talent?
Nothing, so long as we're not
hypocritical about it.
Well, I certainly wouldn't mind
dating some nice kid.
Maybe even an Ivy Leaguer.
Wouldn't that be the end, Mer?
A date with an Ivy Leaguer.
All I want is to meet a boy
with feet as big as mine.
[laughs]
[brakes screech]
[engine rumbling]
He looks pathetic.
What do you think?
You just saved the life
of TV Thompson
junior class, Michigan state.
For the privilege of a ride,
I stand ready to amuse you
with interesting anecdotes
for 310 miles.
I'm also an expert driver.
Besides which, I can sing
and play the accordion
except I haven't got one.
- How big are your feet?
- Thirteen.
Get in.
You pick up a solitary
wayfarer on the road.
The good Samaritan act.
You feel good and I feel good.
The way I look at it,
the most charitable thing
you can do for people
is to let them be charitable.
Am I boring you?
Not with this kind of driving.
For example, take the way
I got into college.
There I was, all set
to enter Michigan.
Not a cent to my name.
What to do?
For one thing, you can put
both hands on the wheel.
Do you mind?
So I'm sitting around one night
reading in the papers
about Miss Barbara Smith Holmes
Von Haversack, Jr.
And her fourth divorce.
Miss Moneybags claimed
she'd led a very tragic life.
Well, this ticked me off, so
I wrote her a nasty post card.
"Dear Miss Barbara Smith Holmes
et cetera," I said.
"You and your
very tragic blah.
"With your kind of collateral
you should beef?
"Here I am, a kid
who can't even swing
one year's college tuition,
let alone four divorces."
Don't tell me she answered it.
A month later comes this letter
from some secretary
stating that
Miss Barbara et cetera
was deeply touched by my note.
And hopes the enclosed
will enable me to enter college.
The enclosed was
a check for $2500.
You see?
I let her be charitable.
- You didn't keep it?
- No.
No, I paid one term's tuition
and plunked down the balance
on a second-hand Porsche,
a red one, a real bomb.
- Where is it now?
- Lauderdale.
I rented it to a couple
of guys from school.
- That's how I financed my trip.
- Uh-huh.
You don't mind
if I don't believe this.
I don't ask for your belief,
just your attention.
Did you say
your name was Tuggle?
That's right.
Tuggle, suppose I give you
a bang on the pipes
and we lift a few cans together?
Could you translate that?
Yeah, I'll call you
tomorrow and we'll have
a couple of beers.
Oh.
I don't know, maybe
you better wait and see.
Wait and see what?
Stop the car.
[brake screeches]
[engine rumbling]
Five feet, ten and a half.
- Without heels?
- Without stockings.
[whistles]
That's a lot of girl, Tuggle.
A lot of nice girl.
[instrumental music]
Where are you staying?
Fairview apartments.
[jazz music]
(male #1 )
If you need any more hangers,
let me know.
And, uh, that bed
opens up double.
I think you'll be
very happy here.
Oh, I'm sure we will.
How much does this
happiness cost, please?
- Four of you, $22.
- A week? That's not bad.
A day.
A day? For what?
For a roof over your head, miss.
Town's filling up fast.
- Shall we pay you now?
- No, the, the morning will do.
Oh, and, kids
careful with
the lipstick, please.
- Not on the bedspreads.
- Certainly not.
Thank you very much.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Twenty two dollars.
Here's a hole in the budget.
[instrumental music]
Merritt.
Merritt.
Guess what. Just below us..
- Ivy leaguers, three of them.
- How do you know?
Their door was open
and I heard 'em talking.
You know, that accent.
I think they're Yalies.
Maybe even Harvard's.
Yippee. Anybody got
any preference for which bed?
Yeah, how about you and me
taking this one?
- Alright with you, Angie?
- It's alright.
Everything out of the car?
- Yeah.
- Say, listen.
- We got a little problem.
- 'What?'
Two kids from Ohio state
came all the way down here
and now they can't
afford the rates.
So I was thinking maybe we could
have them stay with us.
- Girls, I assume.
- Don't be funny.
What do you think, Mer?
Any chance at all?
How would you like
to share the floor?
Oh! Thank you.
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Just think,
20,000 kids out there.
Yeah. And 80ec of them boys.
[siren wails]
Gentlemen, the city
of Fort Lauderdale
is once again under fire
from the north.
We've survived it before, and I
I reckon we're gonna
survive it again.
To you newly installed officers
who've never seen action
in the war against
higher education
I'd like to give you a little
rundown on what to expect.
Expect anything.
Anything and everything because
that's what you're gonna get.
Now, Fort Lauderdale
is not the only community
to be invaded at this time.
In Palm Springs
and in Newport
on the beaches
of the Mid-Atlantic
to the snows of Colorado,
the students of America
are gathering to celebrate
the rites of spring.
And if you'll pardon a pun,
they have that right.
They're our future voters,
they're citizens of our country
and they are our responsibility.
But how the hell to handle them
that's a different matter.
[laughter]
Now, these kids didn't come down
here to break the law.
Mm-hmm. They'll break it, sure.
That's not their main objective.
And remember too,
that they are our guests
so I want every man on the force
to try his best, his level best
to try to avoid
arresting anyone.
I know this is going to take
great willpower, but try.
And above all,
preserve your sense of humor.
'Cause you're gonna need it
if you expect to survive
and, uh..
And God bless you all, hm?
[engine revs]
[jazz music]
Well, the way it figures,
after we pay for the room
and the gasoline home,
we each wind up
with $18 for nine days.
How are we gonna swing it?
We'll have to eliminate
everything but basic starvation.
Hm, we will begin
by rationing suntan oil.
A bottle and a half a day.
Oh, I'd rather starve than
go home without an even tan.
You may just do that.
Look, there are ways
to cut corners.
Like for one thing.
Why don't we have steak pact?
What's a steak pact?
Well, if any of us ever gets
invited out to dinner
we order steak, we eat half,
and we bring home the rest.
Angie..
...you've got a criminal mind.
Why not?
People do it for poodles.
[Melanie shrieking]
- 'One.'
- 'One.'
- Two.
- No!
- Three.
- Ahh!
She certainly
makes friends fast.
Two of them, no less.
Melanie?
'Having fun?'
They are Yalies.
I was right.
You're coming
to the beach with us?
I'm not sure yet,
I'll let you know later, okay?
[instrumental music]
Heads.
Hi, what happened
to your friend?
- He had a date.
- Oh?
So have you, if you want.
- My name's Dill.
- I'm Melanie.
Well, that's
a quick connection.
What do you say,
we blast off for the beach?
The beach, my first look
at a Florida beach.
[car horn honking]
[clamoring]
[tires screeching]
Where's the beach?
According to this,
it's across the street.
Think we ought
to take out insurance?
[tires screeching]
Shame, isn't it?
Let's go.
Thanks, angel,
you're a real buddy-buddy.
[gasps]
Hi, students.
That was a pretty
chintzy little stunt.
Don't blame me,
blame modern civilization.
Too many cars!
Hey, what about those beers
we were supposed to have?
Well, we were just
heading for the beach.
Oh, go on if you want to,
we'll be right over there.
If we ever make it.
This way to the elbow room.
Whoo!
- 'Car 19.'
- Hold it.
- 'Car 19.'
- What's that?
- Police calls.
- Oh.
(man on radio)
'Corner of Olmos
and Almond.'
'Student in pajamas
directing traffic.'
[chuckles]
I like to keep track
of my friends.
(male #2)
Alright, now get that vehicle
out of here.
Come on, you fellas, go on,
I got a sense of humor
but it's evaporating
real fast.
Come on, move.
- Where are we?
- The elbow room.
Yeah? How can you tell?
Oh, your eyes have
to get adjusted.
You're not afraid
of the dark, are you?
(male #3)
'Hey, kid, let's see
your I.D. card.'
Hey, they're asking for
I.D. cards, I don't have one.
Here, use this.
- What is it?
- Driver's license.
Your name is Kitty Grouder,
you're from Macon, Georgia.
Georgia? I'll never get away
with Georgia.
Don't worry, it's too dark
to read in here anyway.
I.D. card,
let's see it, kiddo.
You're 21 ?
Well, what does that little
old license say?
I know what
the little old license says.
I'm askin' you.
My name is Kitty Grouder.
I'm 21 years old
and I live in Macon, Georgia.
And you're five foot three
and your hair is red.
Only you aren't,
and it isn't.
Well, I'm still growin',
and I dyed it.
Okay..
...everybody but everybody
in town is 21 .
[instrumental music]
Princeton.
Mm-hmm, Harvard, definitely.
Well, you can't get 'em all.
What are you talking about?
Men, naturally,
what else is there?
[girl giggling]
Oh!
Oh, I never knew water
could feel so good.
This your first time down?
It's my first time
away from home, really.
Oh, I don't mean school,
but that's only 60 miles
from where I live.
I guess I sound naive,
but I'm getting
a big charge out of this.
What's the charge?
Oh, being on my own
part of a bunch
of live-it-up kids.
I never knew I could have
so much fun in my life.
- Dill, why me?
- Hm?
Of all the girls in Lauderdale
you could pick
and choose if you want.
What made you choose me?
Too many live-it-up kids
around here.
Why don't we cut out
for a while
find some nice beach
built for two?
You're not gonna tell me
you hardly know me.
You wouldn't reach
that far back for an answer.
[instrumental music]
You know something, Tuggle?
You're the first girl
I've been able
to talk to in a long time.
- I mean, really talk to.
- Thank you.
That's the trouble
with the world today.
We don't communicate
with each other.
- Yeah.
- Now, take sex.
- What?
- I said, take sex.
- Now, sex to most people--
- TV?
Could I please have
some more potato chips?
Sure, sex to most people
is a sort of a--
Which reminds me,
why do they call you TV?
I'm going into television,
they hung it on me at school.
- Oh.
- Now, take sex--
- I think that's interesting.
- Of course it is.
Television, I mean.
I was talking about sex.
To a lot of people,
sex is sort of a--
- 'Car seven.'
- Listen.
(man on radio)
'Car seven, go to Pine Street
and Oceanic.'
'Smiley's bar
and grill, a riot.'
Isn't that awful? A riot.
And probably over a girl.
In the final analysis,
everything comes down to sex.
Like I was saying,
take sex--
I think we ought
to take a walk.
- Where?
- To the beach.
How can you get
a sunburn in here?
Okay.
How long have we been
in that place?
It's dark out.
What are you,
a clock watcher?
The day is young.
My first day in Florida
and I didn't even go
for a swim.
Now, what's so big ten about
dunkin' yourself in an ocean?
Personally, I never go
in the water above here.
Why not?
Well, to begin with,
I can't swim.
- Oh, stop it.
- No, I mean it.
Swimming is for fish.
Then I must be a fish
because I love it
and I didn't get to go.
Okay, you wanna swim?
I'll take you for a swim.
The swankiest spot in town
the Bahia Mar pool.
The Bahia Mar?
You mean, you actually
live there?
Certainly not.
I just use their pool.
[instrumental music]
Okay, kids, what'll it be?
Two cups of hot water, please.
Maybe I didn't hear good.
Hot water, two cups.
I heard good.
I'm embarrassed.
Don't be silly,
we've got to cut corners.
This stool taken?
Why, no.
Thanks.
Two hot waters.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Name it.
- Bowl of soup.
- You take sugar?
- Hm-mmm.
- He's looking at us.
- Let him look.
- How about milk?
- Hm-mmm.
You know, this is a nice place.
We should come back often.
I always said
you had a criminal mind.
Listen, you know
what this saves us?
Where could you get
a cup of tea at these prices?
Like, for one place,
maybe San Quentin.
Here.
Aah!
- Delicious, huh?
- Mmm, like dining at the Ritz.
What kind would you like,
grape or apple?
Would you
let that alone?
What's the matter with you?
Everybody does this.
If it's on the counter,
it's for free.
Where did you learn that,
in reform school?
He's looking again.
Will you stop worrying?
We're customers.
- Want another one?
- No. All I want is to--
- Hey.
- What?
- Here.
- That does it, come on.
Relax!
I'm getting out of here.
Oh, we haven't even
started yet.
I have, and I'm finished.
Oh!
Could we have
a check, please?
For what?
Uh, two cups of hot water.
No charge.
Oh, it's very nice
of you, I'm sure.
Only next time,
would you do me a favor?
Take your business
to my competitor.
Thank you.
Come on, Angie.
Now, take sex.
I don't know
how you feel about--
Hey! Did you see that?
A double shooting star.
That means we each
get two wishes.
- Oh, boy.
- What's the matter?
- Not a thing.
- You know what I wish?
I wish I could come back
to Lauderdale
at least twice,
that's what I wish.
I certainly enjoyed
myself today. Thank you.
So did I.
Sort of unusual for me.
Why?
Oh, I don't know,
lots of reasons.
Frankly, I'm a bust with women.
They don't like me.
- Oh, stop.
- Uh-uh, believe me.
I've been shot down
all over Michigan.
Very seldom
do I get a second date
with the same girl.
Well, then,
it's their fault.
Uh-uh, I'm tricky.
I'm a fake, and I guess
they sense it.
You're not tricky,
and you're not a fake.
It's just that you've got
a kind of a kooky sense of humor
that's all.
If they don't understand you
that's too bad.
I understand you.
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you certainly didn't
hear any bells that time.
Anything wrong?
I don't know.
Maybe it's because
I didn't have any dinner.
Do you want some more
potato chips?
Mm-mmm.
(man on radio)
'Car nine, students swimming
in the nude'
'at Silver Beach.'
- Tuggle.
- Mm-hmm?
Do you think
you could like me?
I think I already do.
- A lot?
- Uh-huh.
- Tuggle?
- Uh-huh?
Are you a good girl?
Please, I don't wanna
disillusion you
or disappoint you.
Oh, no, no, no,
I won't be disillusioned
or disappointed.
Are you a good girl, Tuggle?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
I knew it.
Well..
...so long, TV.
(man on radio)
'Car five, Sixth and Grand.'
'A student creating
a disturbance.'
Not me, brother.
[instrumental music]
Goodnight, Mel.
Dill, you'd never
say anything..
...tell anyone?
[music continues]
Tomorrow.
[door closes]
[dramatic music]
Five, six..
'...seven.'
- Who's that?
- I don't know.
She was asleep
when I got in last night.
- How did she get here?
- Dodie found her.
She was gonna spend
the night on the beach.
A junior from Wellesley.
Wellesley?
Hm, at least we're getting
some tone in the place.
Seven souls.
'That's a nice round number.'
We'll have to hold a lottery
to see who gets a bath.
[coughing]
Since when did you
start smoking?
Since yesterday.
Dill smokes, I thought
I'd give it a chance.
[coughing]
I don't inhale, though.
It's the tropics, everybody goes
to pieces in the tropics.
[music continues]
Hello, there.
Hello, there to you.
A girl from U got married
down here last year.
Did you know?
What brought that up?
Well, nothing, I just
heard about it.
A sophomore
from Swanson Hall.
She met this real nice boy. The
next thing, they were married.
You've got your calendar
a little wrong.
She met this boy here in March
and they got married in October
two jumps ahead
of the obstetrician.
Not for me, thank you.
I made a vow
on the way down here.
I promised myself
I'd try for a man
the chaste way.
And so help me,
I'll keep it
if I have to drop in
at the local blacksmith
and buy a belt.
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Oh! Hello, TV.
Yes.
[instrumental music]
Dill.
(male #4)
'It's open.'
Dill.. Hi.
Dill around?
Well, he was earlier.
We had sort of a date.
Yeah, well, his father called
him this morning.
Dill had to go into Fort Myers
on business.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Wait.
If, uh, you'd
like a stand-in
for a couple of days
give us a holler.
Thanks.
Who's been drinking?
I've been drinking?
Look, you've been
giving us that for five days,
the same story every day.
Well, but, yeah, at least
I'm consistent,
you got to admit.
What is it between you
and that TV character
a potato chip orgy
every day?
Not every day, no,
sometimes we buy pretzels.
What's the difference so long
as you're having fun?
This is beginning
to sound serious, is it?
If you mean, has he measured me
for a ring, no.
If you mean,
if he ever suggests it
I'd think a long time
like about 20 minutes
before flinging myself
on his chest.
You'd get married?
What about school?
Girls like me weren't
built to be educated.
We were made
to have children.
That's my ambition
to be a walking
talking baby factory.
Legal, of course,
and with union labor.
And TV is
the walking delegate.
He might be if I could ever
lead him around to it.
Oh, I know he's not particularly
good looks or anything
but underneath
that silly exterior
he's really
basically sincere.
Don't look now, but here comes
Mr. Sincere.
What is he,
queer for hats?
See you later, kids.
Well, here we are again.
What do we talk about today?
Would you like to hear
my Russian vocabulary?
I'd hate to.
- Doesn't it ever bother you?
- What?
Our state
of single blessedness.
The lack of male companionship.
- Don't you ever think of it?
- Occasionally
But I've decided
not to major in it.
The mind, Angie,
is meant for many things.
Not mine.
It just keeps saying,
where is he?
Where is he? Where..
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Merritt Andrews.
Penmore U.
Frosh.
Nineteen.
How about a cocktail?
I didn't know they served them
in the elbow room.
Well, I was thinking
of a place called The Sheik's.
[music continues]
I've got to give up hockey.
[instrumental music]
Silent type, aren't you?
Sorry, Ryder Smith,
Brown University
senior class, age 22.
Hmm. An Ivy Leaguer.
- I figured you might be.
- Why?
There's a look
about Ivy Leaguers, cool
like you couldn't even
bother to perspire.
Well, there's a look
about you too,
the Midwestern look.
- Grain fed?
- No, no.
A lot of them might be
but you seem
quite sophisticated.
Quite.
I come from a large metropolis
in Illinois
called Cotter City,
population 11 ,000.
My father owns
the local drugstore.
Sophistication isn't a matter
of where you come from.
Or even what your family does.
It's the way you,
the way you think.
Your outlook on life,
what you've experienced.
Experience, that's what
separates the girls
from the girl scouts.
Okay, I'm sophisticated.
Would you care to see
where I live?
No.
I-I don't think you'd care
for our place, either.
Well, at least
we could go for a swim.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
[engine revving]
- You like it?
- Very refined.
But don't you think
we better leave
before they sic
the hounds on us?
Oh, they won't, it's mine.
Well, not exactly mine,
but it will be someday.
My grandfather owns it.
He was here most of the season.
Is this where
your grandfather swims?
Well, the fish don't mind.
But usually over there.
'Oh, that's
the family put-put.'
Would you like to go aboard?
May I freshen that for you?
No, thanks. I'm not much
for the drinking bit.
- Good girl.
- I'm not being prudish.
I just don't believe
in getting smashed.
It's sort of juvenile,
not really worth the effort.
Uh, how about some dinner?
[instrumental music]
'Hello, Wesley?'
I-I'm at the boat
with a guest.
We'd like to be served here.
Oh. Thank you.
He beat me to it,
it's on its way.
I always knew
rich people were rich.
I just never realized how rich.
What does a put-put
like this cost?
Oh, uh, something
over $1 ,000 a foot.
This one's, uh, 52 feet.
What bank
did your grandfather rob?
He owns a couple.
- That's more convenient.
- Hmm.
A rowboat will never
be the same to me again.
Would you like
to stay aboard tonight?
Where will you be?
Oh, not far.
That's probably
about the coolest approach
I've ever had.
I have to figure out
a new classification for you.
- Classification?
- 'Hmm.'
I've divided boys
into three types.
The sweepers,
the strokers--
Uh, educate me,
what's a sweeper?
The ones that sweep you
off your feet,
or try to, often leaving
large bruises.
The, uh, judo experts?
Right.
Then there are the strokers.
They use the soft caress
usually accompanied by, uh
soft words, soft lighting
'and soft music.'
- They set the stage, huh?
- 'Mm-hmm.'
And if a girl
gets too interested in the drama
act three is over before she
even knows the curtain is up.
What's that third,
uh, classification?
Ah, the subtles.
The ones
with the subtle approaches.
They have a lot
of different techniques.
Discussions of erotic
literature, Freud.
The Coming of Age
in Samoa, you know.
How about, uh, ill health
due to frustration?
I think that one's
been overworked lately.
You know, you sound like
you've been around quite a bit.
I was frosh queen
last semester.
- Lots of dates, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
All shapes, sizes, dispositions.
You still haven't
answered my question..
'...a-about staying aboard.'
I think we'll have to let that
wait u-until we've researched
your classification
a little further.
And how long do you think
that might take?
Oh, no telling,
it might be quite a while.
Well, uh, a Brown man
is trustworthy
loyal, helpful,
and, uh, patient.
You have a nice flow
of talk, Merritt.
'What's your IQ, anyhow?'
Don't tell anybody,
but it's high, 138.
[whistles]
This could be a long siege.
What's yours?
Uh, 140.
Hey there, Mr. Ryder.
Evening, miss.
Hiya, Wesley.
'Thanks.'
Uh, do-do you mind if I just
eat half of mine?
- You're not hungry?
- Oh, yes.
But...I've got this poodle.
[indistinct chatter]
[car horn honking]
You know, we spend
more time here
than we do on the beach.
Hey, here we go again.
[car horn honking]
Any broken tibias here?
Any chips or fragments?
You all in one piece?
No thanks to you.
Phew, should be a little
more careful, baby Ruth.
You might have been seriously
killed, jaywalking like that.
Jaywalking? You came out
of left field.
Yeah, that's what they say
about our music.
Boys and girls,
youth of America
the Basil Demetomos Quintet,
purveyors of dialectic jazz
'will hold a musicale forthwith
at the elbow room.'
You are all invited,
beer is on the quintet.
[all cheering]
[instrumental music]
[applause]
(Basil)
'No, no, no, please, please.'
We do not want applause.
Let's keep things as unfrantic
and cerebral as possible.
'If you have any questions,
ask them during the breaks.'
The selection you just heard
was the nuclear love song
composed by our percussionist.
Next is an original
of my own
written for guitar
and flute, entitled
"A meeting between Shakespeare
and Satchel Paige
on Hempstead Heath."
[instrumental music]
Well, are we wonderful?
Are we the greatest
you've ever heard?
- Compliment me.
- Well, you're different.
Dialectic jazz is not only
different, it's profound.
Beer for everybody,
lemme know when that's gone.
What's dialectic jazz?
I don't dig dialectic.
What's the scene?
Short girl, don't ever use
jive talk in my presence.
If you wanna speak to me,
keep it civilian.
No! No minus seventh there!
It's more immersion,
less eruptive!
It's offensive
in that sound plane.
My boys are tired.
Five days coming down here..
...six concerts everyday
since we left school.
Six a day?
No wonder you're loaded.
Oh, we did not earn this money,
we never accept money.
As a matter of fact,
we pay the audience.
- Huh?
- Well, usually in beers.
That way we're never
indebted to anyone.
We can play what we want..
...not what everybody else
wants us to.
We're incorrupt.
Like athletes, however we..
...sometimes become a little
too finely trained.
And we need to reestablish
social contact with our public.
Date me tonight,
baby Ruth.
- Hmm, booked.
- Oh.
Date me tonight,
big girl.
- I got a date.
- Oh.
Well, let's not be insulting.
Date me tonight, short one.
What time?
(female #3)
'Hey, has anybody got
a light shade..'
[telephone ringing]
Hello, Basil?
Oh.
Dodie!
It's for you.
Hello?
I can't hear you.
What?
Yeah, ten minutes.
[indistinct chatter]
I don't know why I bother
to get dressed at night.
We usually land up
on the beach anyhow.
How are things going
with you two?
Oh, about the same.
He hints what he wants.
I hint about matrimony.
And while each of us is hinting
the other isn't listening.
He certainly is persistent,
though.
He keeps knocking on the door.
It's just a question of how long
I can keep it locked.
Hey, Mer. I think
your date's downstairs.
- Thanks, Angie.
- Mine hasn't even called yet.
[telephone ringing]
Whoops!
Hello, Basil?
Okay, so your name's not Basil,
don't get insulted.
Jill!
This one's yours.
It's about time.
- How's the romance?
- What romance?
He doesn't even know I exist.
How do you get through
to a musician?
[chuckles]
Maybe by being another musician.
Gads, it must be nice to go out
with someone who wears a suit.
I never know what TV is going
to look like from date to date.
[doorbell ringing]
Hi.
See what I mean?
[instrumental music]
We're getting a little chummy,
aren't we?
A cigarette, please.
I thought we were hitting it off
pretty good.
Yeah, too good,
that's why I'd like a cigarette.
It's not hard to see
you were frosh queen.
Thank you.
Is that a compliment?
Yes, it was meant that way.
Why, are you insulted?
A little, yes.
I mean, no girl enjoys
being considered promiscuous
even those who might be.
Now, that's a pretty
old-fangled notion, Merritt.
Oh?
Sex is no longer
a matter of morals.
That idea went out
with the raccoon coats.
Sex is, well, it's a part
of personal relations.
Oh, really?
It's-it's a pleasant,
friendly thing
like, like, like shaking hands
or, or making sure
you catch a person's name
when you're introduced.
I-I hadn't realized.
Well, it's like
contributing to charity
or working
on a civic committee.
As a matter of fact,
it's actually
serving your fellow man.
Uh, uh, what about the, this
old-fangled notion called love?
Shouldn't that figure somewhere
in the proceedings?
Later, after we become
better acquainted.
More marriages go on the rocks
just because people
aren't better acquainted.
Uh-uh, it's talk like this
that may get me
bounced out of school next week.
Well, it's nice to know
we agree on something.
Hm, isn't it?
Well, let's see if we can agree
on what time you take me home.
You mean now?
Now.
Sure losing face
in this contest.
Aren't we
the early ones tonight?
You have an argument
or anything?
Ivy Leaguers never argue.
- They discuss.
- Hm, yeah.
[Melanie laughing]
[laughing]
(Melanie)
'Yeah.'
[laughing]
Oh, sister. Have we got
any bicarb or anything?
[Melanie laughing]
[knocking on door]
Is this the residence
of Melanie Tolman?
Sure, fall in.
[laughs]
Okay, what happened to you?
I've been dining
and I've been dancing..
...and I've been drinking!
- No!
- Shh!
Put on some coffee.
I'll get her things off.
Mer, I've been
drinking grasshoppers.
Mer, have you ever tasted
a grasshopper?
Not intentionally, no.
[laughs]
No, Mer, no
not a grasshopper that hops, Mer
a grasshopper
in a glass that's green.
You'll be green, too,
in the morning.
Who arranged this little party?
Your friend, Dill?
- Dill! No, not Dill.
- Tug.
I was with Franklin.
Franklin!
Mer, you wanna know something?
I'm in love with Franklin
and Franklin's in love with me.
Isn't that the most wonderful
thing you've ever heard, Mer?
Mer, you were right, so right.
That's fine, that's fine.
What was I right about?
Everything, everything you said,
the whole thing--
- Good.
- So--
You tell me all about it
in the morning
and we'll have
a nice, little talk.
I wanna talk now!
- Beddy bye, kiddo.
- No!
No! I've got to tell you !
I wanna tell everybody
all about Franklin and me
and life and love..
- What do you think?
- Oh, definitely. Yep.
- Come on.
- This way.
...and love with Franklin,
me, Franklin
and love and life, and then..
[screams]
Oh!
- How goes the battle?
- Goes awful.
They say the only cure
for a hangover is 24 hours.
Maybe I'll live that long.
Wanna tell me about it now?
Hm, wanna tell you about what?
Oh, I'm not sure,
but whatever it was
it, uh, certainly seemed
important to you last night.
What did I say?
Well, it was pretty incoherent.
Mostly about Franklin
and, and that I was right
about something or the other.
- I said that?
- You don't remember?
Oh, I must have been
really smashed.
Stoned,
but as long as
that's all that happened.
Is it, Mel?
I don't know what you mean.
I, I-I'll run down to the
library and get you some books.
I don't need any books!
And no matter what happened,
I'm in love with Franklin.
I know it's none of my business
but a couple of days ago
didn't you say the same thing
about Dill?
Merritt, what are you trying
to do, make me feel like--
I'm just trying to see
that you don't get caught
in some crazy merry-go-round.
I'm not caught!
Alright, Mel. Let's forget it.
I'm sorry,
I, I know advice is cheap.
Well, it is
when you don't take it yourself.
Oh, oh,
now we're talking about me?
Well, why not?
You sure haven't made a secret
of the way
you feel about things.
In fact, you've practically
preached on the subject.
- Preached?
- Well, talked, anyhow.
Why, even that day in class--
Oh, is that
what I was so right about?
Well, you seem to think so.
Well, since when
am I the last word?
And what did that have to do
with you, anyway?
I-I-I was talking
about people in general
not kids who go out
and get drunk together.
Don't!
Mer, don't spoil it
for me, please.
I'm, I'm sorry.
Mer.
I, I'm alright.
I know what I'm doing.
Would-would you do me a favor?
Would you hang around with us
once in a while?
You're always so alone,
we never see you anymore.
I will.
Look, Ryder's invited me out
for a run on the boat
this afternoon.
- Would you come with us?
- Oh, Mer, I'd love to.
Uh, well, I think
I have a date with Franklin.
Alright, then,
I-I'll see you tonight.
Early and in much better shape.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
- Ryder?
- Uh-huh?
You don't mind
my asking Melanie along, do you?
No, why should I?
Two people by themselves,
they get lonely
but with three,
it's a real ball.
I had a reason for it.
Thanks for letting her come.
Any time at all.
I understand these things.
You feel you need a chaperone.
With you? Whatever for?
I don't know
why I waste my time with you.
I guess
maybe it's because I like you.
Funny, that's the first time
I ever said that to a girl.
Oh, stop, the first time
you ever told a girl
you liked her?
Yeah, oh, I've said I loved them
but I never said I liked them.
[instrumental music]
Purely dialectic.
[music continues]
Man, this dialectic's too much!
[all applauding]
We're home, kiddie.
Too soon.
Well, let me in on it.
I was just thinking.
Do you know where I am tonight?
I know I couldn't guess.
- I'm in Chicago.
- No.
Yes, I'm in Chicago
at Angie's house
and I'm playing bridge.
That's a nice pastime.
That's what I wrote in a letter
to my parents.
Somebody mailed it for me
from Chicago.
[laughs]
I'm glad I'm not in Chicago.
I'm glad I'm here...with you.
So am I.
Does everyone
feel the same way we do
or are we very special?
Well, feel the same way, how?
Well, about each other
as though
we've known each other for ages
instead of just a few days?
Everything's happened so fast.
Yeah, well, that's the climate.
Instant romance, guaranteed
by the Chamber of Commerce.
It must be.
This girl, a girl from school
came down here last year
and she met a boy
from Columbia, a senior.
They knew each other one week
and the next thing,
they were married
in just one week.
Yeah, well, that's the trouble
with those Columbia jokers.
Well, they're too impulsive.
[instrumental music]
[groans]
Hey.
'Who let you in?'
Anybody here from Princeton?
[indistinct chattering]
It's not that I drink too much
it's just that
I drink all the time.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
[bass violin music]
You may rub rosin on my bow.
Ah. Gin.
Forty two.
That puts you down 6984 points.
- You owe me 17 cents.
- You want it now?
Ah, from what I've heard
about your credit standing
I'd say you could be trusted.
- Thank you.
- Anybody for swimming?
Come on, TV
even though you can't swim,
at least get wet.
Water's for drinking.
Attention, class.
Have either of you 2 pledges
happen to notice
the date lately?
Well, Mr. Smith and I have,
and for your information
we have exactly two days left
in this vacation.
(Tuggle)
'Two days?'
Snow and ice, Dr. Raunch
and the dean. Oh, Ryder.
Be comforted.
TV has an announcement.
Students, in view
of the impending disaster
we are about
to start living it up.
Tonight we hit the showplaces
the hot spots,
to mingle with the elite.
Your hosts, Mr. Ryder Smith
and your humble servant.
- You mean, dress-up stuff?
- You may dress to the nines!
- Right, my friend?
- To the nines.
What are you going to wear,
your baseball suit?
Now, there's
an uncalled-for remark.
Two days? Well, come on, Tug,
let's take advantage of it.
Uh, nice kids, aren't they?
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.
Yeah, funny thing about women
if you don't make a big pitch
for them, they get mad.
If you do, they get mad.
How can you win?
You can't, they're not playing
for the same stakes.
Boy, I know what you mean.
While you're seeing stars
they see a wedding ring.
They're so darned practical.
You know something?
I don't think they realize
what a risk marriage is for men.
Well, not so much
for a guy like you.
You can afford to be wrong.
I can't even afford to be right.
(man on radio)
'Car seven,
go to Paradise Hotel.'
'A live hammerbead shark
has been placed in the pool.'
[laughs]
Things are heating up
for a grand finale.
- Bye, kids.
- Bye!
- Have fun tonight.
- Have a good night, Dodie.
Do I look alright?
You'll sweep him off his feet.
I'll bet. Two days left.
If he doesn't say something
about something tonight
I think I'll clobber him.
What's the score
in the Ivy League?
Still playing off the tie?
Tug, do you think the daughter
of a small-town druggist
could find happiness
as the wife of a millionaire
'from South Knuckston,
Massachusetts?'
(Tuggle)
'You're kidding!'
'Oh, Mer,
I'm so happy for you !'
Mer, that's mystic,
absolutely mystic!
Wait, wait, do not mail
the shower invitations yet.
The subject hasn't even come up.
What?
I just have a feeling
that it might
and I want to be ready
with the answer.
Look, I want
a frank statement of fact.
Do you see any improvement
in me at all?
- Angie, you look wonderful!
- You look great!
- Straight arrow?
- Sure.
- You'll sweep him off his feet.
- Crazy.
[knocking on door]
Come in.
- Hi, you kids ready yet?
- Hello, Basil.
How are you tonight, Basil?
Okay, short one.
Come on, let's go.
Sweep him off?
I'll knock him off.
- Goodnight, Mel.
- Goodnight, Tuggle.
You sure you won't change
your mind and come along?
No, thanks.
Uh, I just don't feel like
going out tonight.
I hate to think of you
sitting here all alone.
I'll be fine.
Besides, Franklin may call.
Have a good time.
See you tomorrow.
Alright. Goodnight.
Goodnight.
[instrumental music]
[crowd laughing]
I don't understand it.
He's always so prompt.
Maybe he went to rent a costume.
He doesn't have to rent 'em.
He invents 'em.
I don't care
if he shows up looking like
Whistler's father
as long as he--
(TV)
'Good evening, fans.'
Why, TV, you look dreamy.
Well, let's blast off, people.
The night
isn't getting any younger.
And neither are we. Let's go.
(woman on phone)
'Operator.'
Could you connect me
with room 5, please?
[telephone ringing]
Hello? I can't hear you !
Come on, Franklin,
don't be a staller.
Will you wait a minute, fellas?
- Hi, Mel.
- Hi.
I don't usually
invite myself to parties
but it sounds like I'll be
awake all night anyhow.
Look, I wouldn't invite
my worst enemy to this party.
It's a convention of idiots!
Oh. Am I gonna see you?
Am I gonna see you?
Tonight, I mean.
Yeah, I'll meet you later.
Give me time
to get rid of the idiots.
Same place, about 10:30.
Yeah. You wait for me.
Alright, I'll be there early.
Please try to hurry.
[Franklin hangs up]
[instrumental music]
I propose a toast to Michigan!
- To Michigan!
- And to The Tropical Isle.
(all)
The Tropical Isle!
To the Fairview Apartments!
(all)
The Fairview Apartments!
[glass shatters]
Your glasses are very weak
in this place.
As a matter of fact,
so are your drinks.
Please, please,
no excitement, eh?
- Alright.
- Be nice, eh?
Alright! Now take sex.
You're always taking sex.
I wish you'd take something else
for a change.
The day I do, you may fling
my ashes to the wind.
Oh, excuse me, and good evening.
Ooh! Hey, what's in that anyhow?
Oh, a love potion,
I've tried everything else
and now I'm trying
to get you blotted.
Blottoed.
You know something, Ryder?
You just may succeed.
- I-in what?
- In getting me blottoed.
Oh.
What's wrong with you?
I like that kind of music.
Oh, you call that music?
They're probably using
old Mozart arrangements.
My glasses.
- I-I can't find my glasses!
- Here.
Not those glasses,
these glasses!
Lock the doors!
Please, no excitement,
no excitement
or I ask you
to get out from here! please!
- 'Hey, I think I found them !'
- Where?
- Yay!
- Where?
Aren't these your glasses?
Oh, well, thanks.
Aah.
Turn on the lights!
Somebody stepped on them!
Someone stepped on
my friend's glasses!
Now, what sort
of an establishment
are you running here?
Please, please! Sit down!
I'm blind.
Angie, you'll have
to lead me around, Angie.
I'm Merritt.
That's Angie over there.
- Do you hear me, Angie?
- I hear ya.
[drumroll]
(male #)
'Once again,
the management takes pleasure'
'in presenting Lola'
'the sea nymph
of The Tropical Isle!'
[all applauding]
[instrumental music]
[all applauding]
What lungs!
Get those lungs.
It hasn't anything to do
with her lungs.
She's got a little hose down
there she breathes through.
You see?
Yeah. What lungs!
[all applauding]
What's going on?
Well, what's going on?
Lola, the sea nymph.
- What's she doing?
- Breathing.
TV, you..
What happened to TV?
- Did anybody see TV?
- What's going on?
[indistinct chattering]
Oh! He can't even swim!
- TV!
- What's goin' on?
TV, come on out! TV!
He's climbing the ladder!
- 'What's going on?'
- Oh! TV!
Get out from in that tank!
[crowd chattering]
TV!
- TV!
- That's beautiful!
- Can you hear me?
- 'Stay down, boy.'
- 'Be careful!'
- TV!
TV! Here!
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
Get out from in!
[indistinct chattering]
Angie, Angie, what's going on?
Get out now!
Give him air!
Give him air!
(Angie)
'Give him air!'
Angie, what's going on?
(Angie)
'Look out, Basil! Look out!'
Ah, you can't see!
You..
Up, Up!
He can't see!
- Get out!
- Ah!
[gasps]
Look!
Oh, please! Get out!
Last one in
is a rotten egg! Yay!
[siren wailing]
[indistinct yelling]
- One at a time.
- What's going on?
May I have a word, please?
I think I can straighten out
this whole matter
in no time.
Go ahead.
Well, this gentleman here
cannot swim, you see?
No, I don't see.
If he can't swim,
what was he doing in the tank?
Oh, but that's the whole point.
He dove into the tank
because he admired me.
'He risked his life
just to show me how much.'
I call that gallantry,
don't you?
And there's so little gallantry
left in the world.
I don't think
he should be punished for it.
I think he should be rewarded!
[chuckles]
Consider that now.
Yeah, consider that.
Out, everybody out.
Come on, get out. And stay dry.
'Wait a minute!'
Haven't I
seen you in here before?
Just once,
and purely by accident
the night my strap broke!
Out, out. Go on, get out! Go on!
Hey, class,
the night is still young.
What do you say
to a beach party?
[all cheering]
How about Jade Beach?
[all cheering]
I wish I was dead.
[instrumental music]
[all applauding]
Ladies and gentlemen,
we will now play an origi--
[all laughing]
We will now play
an original tone poem entitled
"Don't Litter The Streets
Of Philadelphia."
[instrumental music]
That act you do in the tank
stupendous routine
you've got there.
- Stupendous!
- Thank you.
It's all
a matter of breath control.
You have to learn
to control your lungs.
[inhales]
What lungs!
Showbiz. Wow!
It must be a great life!
Oh, it has its rewards
the lights, the glamor,
the applause.
(TV)
'Yeah. Boy!'
I was in showbiz myself once.
'On television.'
- Oh?
- Where?
It was up at school,
the day they made me
honorary colonel
of the ROTC.
Oh.
[giggles]
I love the whole world tonight
and everybody in it.
Me included?
You included.
But not enough, huh?
Here.
No more gargle for you,
young lady.
- You'll be on your ear.
- Hm.
I thought
you wanted me that way.
Maybe I'm feeling charitable,
Merritt.
- I was married once.
- You were?
In Detroit where I was playing.
He said he was
a big tool-and-dye man.
I was only 19.
And he was
no big tool-and-dye man at all.
He screwed bolts
at some auto plant.
Oh, I've seen the seamy side
of life, my little one.
It hasn't all been
beer and roses by a long shot.
We all have our troubles.
You know mine?
I'm a-a bust with women
'out-and-out,
complete and absolute.'
Oh!
The only woman
who was ever nice to me
was Ms. Barbara Smith Holmes
Von something
the only, only woman.
I think that's a stinking shame.
[leaves rustling]
You know what I want tomorrow?
I want to go out
on the boat all day long.
I want to keep going
in a straight line
and never turn back.
That'd be fine
except the boat went out
of water for repairs today
and tomorrow I'm headin' north.
Tomorrow? You have to?
A few hours from now
we'll be saying goodbye.
Nice to have known you, Merritt.
I could stay down
a couple of days, Merritt.
It wouldn't matter.
Stay with me, Mer.
We need time. It's new to me.
The way I feel about you,
I-I, I don't know what it is.
Maybe that old-fangled thing
called love.
Do you suppose, Mer?
Before getting acquainted?
[laughing]
Watch !
- Whoa!
- Ah !
[Lola laughing]
[sobbing]
[both laughing]
Whoops! Hey, my shoe!
- My shoe!
- Oh !
[both laughing]
Whoa!
[both laughing]
[both laughing]
Whoa, whoa!
Hi.
Remember me?
TV, I'd, uh
I'd like to go home, please.
So who's stoppin' you?
[grunts]
You go on ahead.
I'll catch up.
Are you following me? What for?
Because..
...I thought
we liked each other.
Does that mean you own me?
What right have you got
to tell me what to do?
What are you, my mother
or the PTA or something?
Leave me alone.
Alright.
Alright.
- Come on !
- Wait.
Well, if we're going, let's go.
- You said you wanted--
- Will you please shut up?
Please, just shut up, huh?
[knocking on door]
Franklin couldn't show.
He got tied up with the idiots.
Oh, no. No.
Nice to see you again, Mel.
No. No.
What's this?
No.
Please, no.
No.
No!
[telephone ringing]
[telephone ringing]
Hey, Tug, the phone.
[telephone ringing]
[sniffles]
Hello?
What? I don't understand you.
Who is it?
Who is this? Melanie?
I wanna speak to Merritt.
(Tuggle on phone)
'Hello?'
'Hello, Melanie?'
'Melanie, what is it?
Where are you?'
Marina Motel.
Where?
(Melanie on phone)
'Silver Beach.'
Are you alright?
Uh, Melanie, answer me!
[sobbing]
Melanie!
[telephone clicking]
What is it?
[people laughing]
Let's get out of here, Merritt.
- Will you come with me?
- Where?
Any place,
anywhere we can be alone.
Don't you wanna?
- I-I-I don't know.
- Merritt.
All of a sudden I'm..
Don't be frightened.
I'm not frightened
and I'm not being coy.
I-it's just that I've, I've..
I've never done
anything like this before.
You certainly had me fooled.
All that talk--
That's all it was is talk.
And unless you love me
the way I love you--
I love you, Merritt.
I love you.
[people laughing]
Merritt!
Mer!
- Tug, what is it?
- Mer.
Something's happened.
Melanie, she called.
- She wanted to talk to you.
- What did she say?
I don't know.
I couldn't understand her.
- She's in trouble, Mer.
- Where is she?
I-I don't know.
A motel or something.
Silver Beach.
That's all I could get.
- S-Silver Beach?
- Up the road about five miles.
Come on.
[instrumental music]
[car honking]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[car honking]
Hey!
[car honking]
Crazy kid.
[cars honking]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[cars honking]
[tires screeching]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[cars honking]
Oh, one more thing.
When they brought her in,
the nurse said
she was mumbling something
about a boy named, uh, Dill.
You know
where he can be reached?
- No, sir.
- Dill?
What's he got to do with it?
Well, he was at a motel
with her earlier
walked out and left her.
I know where to reach him.
Miss?
Fairview Apartments,
apartment 5.
She'll be alright.
I talked
to the ambulance doctor.
He didn't think it was too bad.
I suppose
somebody should thank you.
I'm sorry I'm not
in a grateful mood right now.
Are you gonna blame me for what
somebody else did to her?
I blame all of you
who think of a girl
as something cheap and common
just put here
for your personal kicks.
Look, she got mixed up
with the wrong people.
Have you met
any right ones lately?
- Am I all through?
- Hm? Oh, Yes. Go ahead.
Merritt Andrews?
Oh, she wants to see you.
Room 136.
- How is she?
- She'll get by.
Just for a minute.
She'll be asleep soon.
Hey, are you alright?
Oh, I lived it up,
didn't I, Mer?
I sure lived it up.
Shh. Melanie, don't.
[sobbing]
Why didn't I die, Mer?
- Why didn't I die?
- Hey, look.
E-everything's gonna be alright.
Do you hear me?
As soon as you get
back to school.
No, not school.
I want to go home to my father.
I wanna talk
to my father and my mother.
They'll tell me what to do,
won't they, Mer?
Sure, they will.
Hey, look, I..
I-I'll wait and go home with you
and we'll take the bus together.
We'll have a wonderful trip!
You wait and see.
Oh, Mer!
[sobbing]
I feel so old, so old.
Mel, listen.
Now, it's not
the end of the world!
You've got a long life to live.
You've got a long way to go.
Y-you'll meet somebody
some nice boy back home.
Oh, some nice boy.
Then I'll tell him all about
my wonderful spring vacation.
Oh, he'd like to hear that,
wouldn't he, Mer?
Hey, Mel, listen.
It's alright.
Hey, it's alright, darling.
You go to sleep now.
M-Mer..
You wanna hear a big joke, Mer?
They..
They weren't even Yalies.
[sobbing]
I got here as soon as I could.
How is she?
We don't know yet.
How would you hear about it?
I went to the apartment
to find you. Dodie told me.
I want you to know, Tug..
...I wasn't
anyplace else tonight.
One, two, go!
(Merritt)
Tug! Tug, you forgot this.
Oh, no! So long, Merritt.
- Give Melanie our love, huh?
- I sure will.
See you in the frozen north.
Lift your right leg six inches.
- There you are!
- Yeah, thanks, uh..
Hey, you know somethin'?
You're a very beautiful girl,
Angie.
That's right. Uh-huh.
I gotta keep this kid
in the dark.
Come on, Tug !
Let's hit the road!
Okay, okay, okay.
Here.
How long are you gonna be here?
Oh, the doctor says it'll be
about two or three days.
- Anything I can do for you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, just let me know
if I'm still in school.
Okay. Take care of yourself.
- I will.
- Goodbye, Merritt.
(Basil)
'Say goodbye to Ryder, huh?'
Yes, and brush up
on your interpersonal relations.
Hey, TV, you watch your driving.
Oh, you mean,
two hands on the wheel?
- Mm-hmm.
- Like this?
[all laughing]
(Basil)
What's going on?
What's going on?
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
(Ryder)
'Ryder Smith.'
Brown University, senior class.
I heard you were staying behind.
I thought I'd hang around
drive you and Melanie home.
Thank you.
- How's she doing?
- She's coming along, uh..
I-it'll take time,
but she'll pull out of it.
I'm sorry about the other night
what I said at the hospital.
Don't apologize.
I had it coming.
I-I was angry..
More than that,
I-I was just plain scared.
I, I kept thinking
it could have been me.
It could have been, Ryder.
You'd never lose your grip.
You're a pretty strong girl,
Merritt.
Not really.
No girl is
when it comes to love
what she thinks is love.
How do you know the difference?
Do you love me, Ryder?
I think so.
Do I love you, Ryder?
I hope so.
Look.
I don't have the answers
any more than you.
But for us, anyhow,
it's not the way we started out.
I'm sure of that now.
I don't wanna know you
for just a few days
or a spring vacation.
I'd like to know you
for a long time, Merritt.
I'd, I'd like to know you, too.
A lot of big things
coming up this term.
Senior prom,
house dance, graduation.
'A lot of big things.'
'You think you can make
a couple of 'em?'
Mm-hmm.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
(narrator)
For 50 weeks of the year,
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
is a small corner
of tropical heaven
basking contentedly
in the warm sun.
During the other two weeks
as colleges
all over the country
disgorge their students
for Easter vacation
a change comes over the scene.
The students swarm to these
peaceful shores in droves.
Twenty thousand strong.
They turn night into day
and the small corner of heaven
into a sizable chunk of bedlam.
The boys come
to soak up the sun
and a few carloads of beer.
The girls come very simply
because this is
where the boys are.
[upbeat music]
[instrumental music]
(narrator)
It is one week
before the annual invasion.
Meanwhile on the campus
of a Midwestern university
1200 miles to the north.
[wind whooshing]
[dramatic music]
[sneezes]
[sneezes]
Isn't this
the living end?
[groans]
How do you feel?
Oh, do you really
wanna know?
I could upchuck
right here and now.
I know what you mean.
Oh, listen,
they're having a sale
on swimsuits at Kringle's.
Half price. We oughta pick up
a couple for Fort Lauderdale.
I'm not going, Tuggle.
What do you mean, not going?
It was all set.
- I can't.
- Why?
I'm behind in every course.
I have two term papers
to make up. I just can't.
Oh, you can do it
down there.
At least we'll be out
of Siberia for a while.
- We'll get some sun.
- The sun?
There is no sun.
I think they blew it up
with the moon shot.
(female #1 )
'Merritt!'
Hi, Tug.
Hey, kids,
I just spoke to Angie.
Her roommate was down there
last year
and had a ball,
an absolute ball.
When are we leaving?
(Tuggle)
Merritt can't go.
Oh, Merritt, if you don't go,
I won't go, either.
What have I got
to do with it?
It's spring vacation.
If we were all smart
we'd spend spring vacation
in the infirmary.
Come on, we're late.
Hey, Mel.
Can you talk to her
during class?
- Which class is it?
- Courtship and marriage.
Oh, the birds and the bees?
You'll have the whole hour.
Now, lay it on thick.
Tell her that the trip
is strictly for our health.
[sneezes]
And that's no lie.
(female #2)
'For many freshman women'
'college provides
their first experience'
'in an adult
heterosexual society.'
Their first
unrestricted contact
with members
of the opposite sex.
This sudden freedom
may give rise to problems
of interpersonal relationships.
Today we discuss
two of those problems.
'Random dating
among college freshmen'
and premature
emotional involvement.
Suppose we begin with you,
Miss Andrews.
'Miss Andrews?'
Oh! Uh-yes-yes, Dr. Raunch.
Have you any comment to make
on what our text terms
"Random dating?"
Well, it, uh
it certainly
is random sometimes.
[laughter]
And have you arrived at any
other world-shaking opinions?
Dr. Raunch, I really
don't feel very well today.
(Dr. Raunch)
'None of us do, I'm sure.
Answer the question, please.'
Well, frankly, I thought the
text was a little old-fashioned.
It didn't have much to do
with modern college life
as far as I could see.
And just how far is that?
Well, take the discussion
on emotional involvement
on the first date.
In this day and age,
if a girl doesn't become
a little emotionally involved
on the first date
it's gonna be her last
with that man anyhow.
[sneezes]
Honestly, doctor,
if a girl doesn't make out
with a man once in a while,
she might as well leave campus.
'Cause she's considered
practically antisocial.
But, you have used the term
"Make out."
'Define that, please.'
I-I beg your pardon?
I should like to know
what making out means
and so would the class.
Well, I-uh.. Dr. Raunch,
I think they know already.
[girls giggle]
Uh!
Ma-making out is what used
to be called necking.
Before that it was petting,
and going back
to early American days,
it was also known as bundling.
It's-it's all the same game.
I'm sure this game of yours
is not mentioned in the text.
Well, that's exactly
the point I'm trying to make.
Dr. Kinsey says--
'We are not discussing
Dr. Kinsey.'
We are discussing
interpersonal relationships.
Well, what could
be more interpersonal
than backseat bingo?
[laughter]
Miss Andrews.
Just what do you consider
suitable subject matters
for discussion in this course?
We're supposed
to be intelligent.
So why don't we get down
to the giant jackpot issue
like should a girl or should
she not under any circumstances
play house before marriage?
I'd be afraid to ask
your opinion on such a subject.
Don't be afraid.
My opinion is yes.
Miss Andrews,
report to the dean.
[sighs]
[sneezes]
You're quite outspoken
aren't you, Merritt?
Dean Caldwell,
what happened today
in class is my fault
and I'm sorry for it.
I intend to apologize
personally to Dr. Raunch.
That might be nice.
You have an extremely
high I.Q., Merritt
and yet your marks
are barely passing.
What seems to be the problem?
I don't know.
I try, I really do.
I study like a fiend.
[coughs]
Just doesn't seem to be
enough time for everything.
Would you like to stay on here
at the university, Merritt?
Oh, yes.
Y-yes, I-I would very much.
My family went to a lot
of expense to send me here.
I'd hate to disappoint them.
'So would I,
but we may have to.'
Suppose we let
the final decision rest
until after spring vacation?
'Perhaps 10 days at home
will help you'
'to see things more clearly.'
'You are going home?'
Well, I-I had intended to, uh..
I'd-I'd rather not
see my folks just now.
Oh, it-it's not that
they aren't wonderful.
They're darlings, but..
[sighs]
I-I can't talk to them.
Not about things
that really matter
Not about this.
Come see me
when you get back.
Thank you.
Dr. Raunch tells me
when I spoke to her
on the phone she suggested
that you might be
overly concerned
with the problem of sex.
'Do you think you are, Merritt?'
Dean Caldwell, I...I'd say
there were probably
a half a million coeds
in this country.
Imagine 98 percent of them
are overly concerned
with that problem.
[chuckles]
So in that respect,
I guess I'm fairly normal.
Good afternoon, Merritt.
Hey, how did it go?
Oh, I'm still in school.
I'm not sure for how long.
I think you were perfectly right
to stand up to old Raunchy.
[sneezing]
Did you actually mean
what you said?
Ooh. About what?
You know
what you said about
before marriage.
Oh!
If I see one more inch of snow,
just one more flake
I'm going to absolutely barf!
[wind howling]
[instrumental music]
Fort Lauderdale
and Miami straight ahead.
Mm. Smell that ocean.
Merritt, you look
better already.
Considering we haven't
slept in two nights.
Angie, just for safe,
in case you ever meet my folks
I spent spring vacation
at your house, right?
In Chicago, every second.
What if I run into your folks.
Where were you?
Who cares?
That's the nice part about being
captain of the
girls hockey team.
Your parents know you're safe.
(Tuggle)
'Just feel that sun.'
I'm gonna soak it up
through every exposable pore.
Me too. Hey, let's get a tan
to end all tans.
How about it, Mer?
All I want is some peace
and quiet and a chance to study.
Oh, you sure picked
the right spot for it.
Last year there were
only 20,000 kids down here.
- Why don't we all admit it?
- Admit what?
We're going to Lauderdale
for one reason.
To meet boys.
So now it can be told.
What's wrong with running
into a little fresh talent?
Nothing, so long as we're not
hypocritical about it.
Well, I certainly wouldn't mind
dating some nice kid.
Maybe even an Ivy Leaguer.
Wouldn't that be the end, Mer?
A date with an Ivy Leaguer.
All I want is to meet a boy
with feet as big as mine.
[laughs]
[brakes screech]
[engine rumbling]
He looks pathetic.
What do you think?
You just saved the life
of TV Thompson
junior class, Michigan state.
For the privilege of a ride,
I stand ready to amuse you
with interesting anecdotes
for 310 miles.
I'm also an expert driver.
Besides which, I can sing
and play the accordion
except I haven't got one.
- How big are your feet?
- Thirteen.
Get in.
You pick up a solitary
wayfarer on the road.
The good Samaritan act.
You feel good and I feel good.
The way I look at it,
the most charitable thing
you can do for people
is to let them be charitable.
Am I boring you?
Not with this kind of driving.
For example, take the way
I got into college.
There I was, all set
to enter Michigan.
Not a cent to my name.
What to do?
For one thing, you can put
both hands on the wheel.
Do you mind?
So I'm sitting around one night
reading in the papers
about Miss Barbara Smith Holmes
Von Haversack, Jr.
And her fourth divorce.
Miss Moneybags claimed
she'd led a very tragic life.
Well, this ticked me off, so
I wrote her a nasty post card.
"Dear Miss Barbara Smith Holmes
et cetera," I said.
"You and your
very tragic blah.
"With your kind of collateral
you should beef?
"Here I am, a kid
who can't even swing
one year's college tuition,
let alone four divorces."
Don't tell me she answered it.
A month later comes this letter
from some secretary
stating that
Miss Barbara et cetera
was deeply touched by my note.
And hopes the enclosed
will enable me to enter college.
The enclosed was
a check for $2500.
You see?
I let her be charitable.
- You didn't keep it?
- No.
No, I paid one term's tuition
and plunked down the balance
on a second-hand Porsche,
a red one, a real bomb.
- Where is it now?
- Lauderdale.
I rented it to a couple
of guys from school.
- That's how I financed my trip.
- Uh-huh.
You don't mind
if I don't believe this.
I don't ask for your belief,
just your attention.
Did you say
your name was Tuggle?
That's right.
Tuggle, suppose I give you
a bang on the pipes
and we lift a few cans together?
Could you translate that?
Yeah, I'll call you
tomorrow and we'll have
a couple of beers.
Oh.
I don't know, maybe
you better wait and see.
Wait and see what?
Stop the car.
[brake screeches]
[engine rumbling]
Five feet, ten and a half.
- Without heels?
- Without stockings.
[whistles]
That's a lot of girl, Tuggle.
A lot of nice girl.
[instrumental music]
Where are you staying?
Fairview apartments.
[jazz music]
(male #1 )
If you need any more hangers,
let me know.
And, uh, that bed
opens up double.
I think you'll be
very happy here.
Oh, I'm sure we will.
How much does this
happiness cost, please?
- Four of you, $22.
- A week? That's not bad.
A day.
A day? For what?
For a roof over your head, miss.
Town's filling up fast.
- Shall we pay you now?
- No, the, the morning will do.
Oh, and, kids
careful with
the lipstick, please.
- Not on the bedspreads.
- Certainly not.
Thank you very much.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Twenty two dollars.
Here's a hole in the budget.
[instrumental music]
Merritt.
Merritt.
Guess what. Just below us..
- Ivy leaguers, three of them.
- How do you know?
Their door was open
and I heard 'em talking.
You know, that accent.
I think they're Yalies.
Maybe even Harvard's.
Yippee. Anybody got
any preference for which bed?
Yeah, how about you and me
taking this one?
- Alright with you, Angie?
- It's alright.
Everything out of the car?
- Yeah.
- Say, listen.
- We got a little problem.
- 'What?'
Two kids from Ohio state
came all the way down here
and now they can't
afford the rates.
So I was thinking maybe we could
have them stay with us.
- Girls, I assume.
- Don't be funny.
What do you think, Mer?
Any chance at all?
How would you like
to share the floor?
Oh! Thank you.
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Just think,
20,000 kids out there.
Yeah. And 80ec of them boys.
[siren wails]
Gentlemen, the city
of Fort Lauderdale
is once again under fire
from the north.
We've survived it before, and I
I reckon we're gonna
survive it again.
To you newly installed officers
who've never seen action
in the war against
higher education
I'd like to give you a little
rundown on what to expect.
Expect anything.
Anything and everything because
that's what you're gonna get.
Now, Fort Lauderdale
is not the only community
to be invaded at this time.
In Palm Springs
and in Newport
on the beaches
of the Mid-Atlantic
to the snows of Colorado,
the students of America
are gathering to celebrate
the rites of spring.
And if you'll pardon a pun,
they have that right.
They're our future voters,
they're citizens of our country
and they are our responsibility.
But how the hell to handle them
that's a different matter.
[laughter]
Now, these kids didn't come down
here to break the law.
Mm-hmm. They'll break it, sure.
That's not their main objective.
And remember too,
that they are our guests
so I want every man on the force
to try his best, his level best
to try to avoid
arresting anyone.
I know this is going to take
great willpower, but try.
And above all,
preserve your sense of humor.
'Cause you're gonna need it
if you expect to survive
and, uh..
And God bless you all, hm?
[engine revs]
[jazz music]
Well, the way it figures,
after we pay for the room
and the gasoline home,
we each wind up
with $18 for nine days.
How are we gonna swing it?
We'll have to eliminate
everything but basic starvation.
Hm, we will begin
by rationing suntan oil.
A bottle and a half a day.
Oh, I'd rather starve than
go home without an even tan.
You may just do that.
Look, there are ways
to cut corners.
Like for one thing.
Why don't we have steak pact?
What's a steak pact?
Well, if any of us ever gets
invited out to dinner
we order steak, we eat half,
and we bring home the rest.
Angie..
...you've got a criminal mind.
Why not?
People do it for poodles.
[Melanie shrieking]
- 'One.'
- 'One.'
- Two.
- No!
- Three.
- Ahh!
She certainly
makes friends fast.
Two of them, no less.
Melanie?
'Having fun?'
They are Yalies.
I was right.
You're coming
to the beach with us?
I'm not sure yet,
I'll let you know later, okay?
[instrumental music]
Heads.
Hi, what happened
to your friend?
- He had a date.
- Oh?
So have you, if you want.
- My name's Dill.
- I'm Melanie.
Well, that's
a quick connection.
What do you say,
we blast off for the beach?
The beach, my first look
at a Florida beach.
[car horn honking]
[clamoring]
[tires screeching]
Where's the beach?
According to this,
it's across the street.
Think we ought
to take out insurance?
[tires screeching]
Shame, isn't it?
Let's go.
Thanks, angel,
you're a real buddy-buddy.
[gasps]
Hi, students.
That was a pretty
chintzy little stunt.
Don't blame me,
blame modern civilization.
Too many cars!
Hey, what about those beers
we were supposed to have?
Well, we were just
heading for the beach.
Oh, go on if you want to,
we'll be right over there.
If we ever make it.
This way to the elbow room.
Whoo!
- 'Car 19.'
- Hold it.
- 'Car 19.'
- What's that?
- Police calls.
- Oh.
(man on radio)
'Corner of Olmos
and Almond.'
'Student in pajamas
directing traffic.'
[chuckles]
I like to keep track
of my friends.
(male #2)
Alright, now get that vehicle
out of here.
Come on, you fellas, go on,
I got a sense of humor
but it's evaporating
real fast.
Come on, move.
- Where are we?
- The elbow room.
Yeah? How can you tell?
Oh, your eyes have
to get adjusted.
You're not afraid
of the dark, are you?
(male #3)
'Hey, kid, let's see
your I.D. card.'
Hey, they're asking for
I.D. cards, I don't have one.
Here, use this.
- What is it?
- Driver's license.
Your name is Kitty Grouder,
you're from Macon, Georgia.
Georgia? I'll never get away
with Georgia.
Don't worry, it's too dark
to read in here anyway.
I.D. card,
let's see it, kiddo.
You're 21 ?
Well, what does that little
old license say?
I know what
the little old license says.
I'm askin' you.
My name is Kitty Grouder.
I'm 21 years old
and I live in Macon, Georgia.
And you're five foot three
and your hair is red.
Only you aren't,
and it isn't.
Well, I'm still growin',
and I dyed it.
Okay..
...everybody but everybody
in town is 21 .
[instrumental music]
Princeton.
Mm-hmm, Harvard, definitely.
Well, you can't get 'em all.
What are you talking about?
Men, naturally,
what else is there?
[girl giggling]
Oh!
Oh, I never knew water
could feel so good.
This your first time down?
It's my first time
away from home, really.
Oh, I don't mean school,
but that's only 60 miles
from where I live.
I guess I sound naive,
but I'm getting
a big charge out of this.
What's the charge?
Oh, being on my own
part of a bunch
of live-it-up kids.
I never knew I could have
so much fun in my life.
- Dill, why me?
- Hm?
Of all the girls in Lauderdale
you could pick
and choose if you want.
What made you choose me?
Too many live-it-up kids
around here.
Why don't we cut out
for a while
find some nice beach
built for two?
You're not gonna tell me
you hardly know me.
You wouldn't reach
that far back for an answer.
[instrumental music]
You know something, Tuggle?
You're the first girl
I've been able
to talk to in a long time.
- I mean, really talk to.
- Thank you.
That's the trouble
with the world today.
We don't communicate
with each other.
- Yeah.
- Now, take sex.
- What?
- I said, take sex.
- Now, sex to most people--
- TV?
Could I please have
some more potato chips?
Sure, sex to most people
is a sort of a--
Which reminds me,
why do they call you TV?
I'm going into television,
they hung it on me at school.
- Oh.
- Now, take sex--
- I think that's interesting.
- Of course it is.
Television, I mean.
I was talking about sex.
To a lot of people,
sex is sort of a--
- 'Car seven.'
- Listen.
(man on radio)
'Car seven, go to Pine Street
and Oceanic.'
'Smiley's bar
and grill, a riot.'
Isn't that awful? A riot.
And probably over a girl.
In the final analysis,
everything comes down to sex.
Like I was saying,
take sex--
I think we ought
to take a walk.
- Where?
- To the beach.
How can you get
a sunburn in here?
Okay.
How long have we been
in that place?
It's dark out.
What are you,
a clock watcher?
The day is young.
My first day in Florida
and I didn't even go
for a swim.
Now, what's so big ten about
dunkin' yourself in an ocean?
Personally, I never go
in the water above here.
Why not?
Well, to begin with,
I can't swim.
- Oh, stop it.
- No, I mean it.
Swimming is for fish.
Then I must be a fish
because I love it
and I didn't get to go.
Okay, you wanna swim?
I'll take you for a swim.
The swankiest spot in town
the Bahia Mar pool.
The Bahia Mar?
You mean, you actually
live there?
Certainly not.
I just use their pool.
[instrumental music]
Okay, kids, what'll it be?
Two cups of hot water, please.
Maybe I didn't hear good.
Hot water, two cups.
I heard good.
I'm embarrassed.
Don't be silly,
we've got to cut corners.
This stool taken?
Why, no.
Thanks.
Two hot waters.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Name it.
- Bowl of soup.
- You take sugar?
- Hm-mmm.
- He's looking at us.
- Let him look.
- How about milk?
- Hm-mmm.
You know, this is a nice place.
We should come back often.
I always said
you had a criminal mind.
Listen, you know
what this saves us?
Where could you get
a cup of tea at these prices?
Like, for one place,
maybe San Quentin.
Here.
Aah!
- Delicious, huh?
- Mmm, like dining at the Ritz.
What kind would you like,
grape or apple?
Would you
let that alone?
What's the matter with you?
Everybody does this.
If it's on the counter,
it's for free.
Where did you learn that,
in reform school?
He's looking again.
Will you stop worrying?
We're customers.
- Want another one?
- No. All I want is to--
- Hey.
- What?
- Here.
- That does it, come on.
Relax!
I'm getting out of here.
Oh, we haven't even
started yet.
I have, and I'm finished.
Oh!
Could we have
a check, please?
For what?
Uh, two cups of hot water.
No charge.
Oh, it's very nice
of you, I'm sure.
Only next time,
would you do me a favor?
Take your business
to my competitor.
Thank you.
Come on, Angie.
Now, take sex.
I don't know
how you feel about--
Hey! Did you see that?
A double shooting star.
That means we each
get two wishes.
- Oh, boy.
- What's the matter?
- Not a thing.
- You know what I wish?
I wish I could come back
to Lauderdale
at least twice,
that's what I wish.
I certainly enjoyed
myself today. Thank you.
So did I.
Sort of unusual for me.
Why?
Oh, I don't know,
lots of reasons.
Frankly, I'm a bust with women.
They don't like me.
- Oh, stop.
- Uh-uh, believe me.
I've been shot down
all over Michigan.
Very seldom
do I get a second date
with the same girl.
Well, then,
it's their fault.
Uh-uh, I'm tricky.
I'm a fake, and I guess
they sense it.
You're not tricky,
and you're not a fake.
It's just that you've got
a kind of a kooky sense of humor
that's all.
If they don't understand you
that's too bad.
I understand you.
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you certainly didn't
hear any bells that time.
Anything wrong?
I don't know.
Maybe it's because
I didn't have any dinner.
Do you want some more
potato chips?
Mm-mmm.
(man on radio)
'Car nine, students swimming
in the nude'
'at Silver Beach.'
- Tuggle.
- Mm-hmm?
Do you think
you could like me?
I think I already do.
- A lot?
- Uh-huh.
- Tuggle?
- Uh-huh?
Are you a good girl?
Please, I don't wanna
disillusion you
or disappoint you.
Oh, no, no, no,
I won't be disillusioned
or disappointed.
Are you a good girl, Tuggle?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
I knew it.
Well..
...so long, TV.
(man on radio)
'Car five, Sixth and Grand.'
'A student creating
a disturbance.'
Not me, brother.
[instrumental music]
Goodnight, Mel.
Dill, you'd never
say anything..
...tell anyone?
[music continues]
Tomorrow.
[door closes]
[dramatic music]
Five, six..
'...seven.'
- Who's that?
- I don't know.
She was asleep
when I got in last night.
- How did she get here?
- Dodie found her.
She was gonna spend
the night on the beach.
A junior from Wellesley.
Wellesley?
Hm, at least we're getting
some tone in the place.
Seven souls.
'That's a nice round number.'
We'll have to hold a lottery
to see who gets a bath.
[coughing]
Since when did you
start smoking?
Since yesterday.
Dill smokes, I thought
I'd give it a chance.
[coughing]
I don't inhale, though.
It's the tropics, everybody goes
to pieces in the tropics.
[music continues]
Hello, there.
Hello, there to you.
A girl from U got married
down here last year.
Did you know?
What brought that up?
Well, nothing, I just
heard about it.
A sophomore
from Swanson Hall.
She met this real nice boy. The
next thing, they were married.
You've got your calendar
a little wrong.
She met this boy here in March
and they got married in October
two jumps ahead
of the obstetrician.
Not for me, thank you.
I made a vow
on the way down here.
I promised myself
I'd try for a man
the chaste way.
And so help me,
I'll keep it
if I have to drop in
at the local blacksmith
and buy a belt.
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Oh! Hello, TV.
Yes.
[instrumental music]
Dill.
(male #4)
'It's open.'
Dill.. Hi.
Dill around?
Well, he was earlier.
We had sort of a date.
Yeah, well, his father called
him this morning.
Dill had to go into Fort Myers
on business.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Wait.
If, uh, you'd
like a stand-in
for a couple of days
give us a holler.
Thanks.
Who's been drinking?
I've been drinking?
Look, you've been
giving us that for five days,
the same story every day.
Well, but, yeah, at least
I'm consistent,
you got to admit.
What is it between you
and that TV character
a potato chip orgy
every day?
Not every day, no,
sometimes we buy pretzels.
What's the difference so long
as you're having fun?
This is beginning
to sound serious, is it?
If you mean, has he measured me
for a ring, no.
If you mean,
if he ever suggests it
I'd think a long time
like about 20 minutes
before flinging myself
on his chest.
You'd get married?
What about school?
Girls like me weren't
built to be educated.
We were made
to have children.
That's my ambition
to be a walking
talking baby factory.
Legal, of course,
and with union labor.
And TV is
the walking delegate.
He might be if I could ever
lead him around to it.
Oh, I know he's not particularly
good looks or anything
but underneath
that silly exterior
he's really
basically sincere.
Don't look now, but here comes
Mr. Sincere.
What is he,
queer for hats?
See you later, kids.
Well, here we are again.
What do we talk about today?
Would you like to hear
my Russian vocabulary?
I'd hate to.
- Doesn't it ever bother you?
- What?
Our state
of single blessedness.
The lack of male companionship.
- Don't you ever think of it?
- Occasionally
But I've decided
not to major in it.
The mind, Angie,
is meant for many things.
Not mine.
It just keeps saying,
where is he?
Where is he? Where..
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Merritt Andrews.
Penmore U.
Frosh.
Nineteen.
How about a cocktail?
I didn't know they served them
in the elbow room.
Well, I was thinking
of a place called The Sheik's.
[music continues]
I've got to give up hockey.
[instrumental music]
Silent type, aren't you?
Sorry, Ryder Smith,
Brown University
senior class, age 22.
Hmm. An Ivy Leaguer.
- I figured you might be.
- Why?
There's a look
about Ivy Leaguers, cool
like you couldn't even
bother to perspire.
Well, there's a look
about you too,
the Midwestern look.
- Grain fed?
- No, no.
A lot of them might be
but you seem
quite sophisticated.
Quite.
I come from a large metropolis
in Illinois
called Cotter City,
population 11 ,000.
My father owns
the local drugstore.
Sophistication isn't a matter
of where you come from.
Or even what your family does.
It's the way you,
the way you think.
Your outlook on life,
what you've experienced.
Experience, that's what
separates the girls
from the girl scouts.
Okay, I'm sophisticated.
Would you care to see
where I live?
No.
I-I don't think you'd care
for our place, either.
Well, at least
we could go for a swim.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
[engine revving]
- You like it?
- Very refined.
But don't you think
we better leave
before they sic
the hounds on us?
Oh, they won't, it's mine.
Well, not exactly mine,
but it will be someday.
My grandfather owns it.
He was here most of the season.
Is this where
your grandfather swims?
Well, the fish don't mind.
But usually over there.
'Oh, that's
the family put-put.'
Would you like to go aboard?
May I freshen that for you?
No, thanks. I'm not much
for the drinking bit.
- Good girl.
- I'm not being prudish.
I just don't believe
in getting smashed.
It's sort of juvenile,
not really worth the effort.
Uh, how about some dinner?
[instrumental music]
'Hello, Wesley?'
I-I'm at the boat
with a guest.
We'd like to be served here.
Oh. Thank you.
He beat me to it,
it's on its way.
I always knew
rich people were rich.
I just never realized how rich.
What does a put-put
like this cost?
Oh, uh, something
over $1 ,000 a foot.
This one's, uh, 52 feet.
What bank
did your grandfather rob?
He owns a couple.
- That's more convenient.
- Hmm.
A rowboat will never
be the same to me again.
Would you like
to stay aboard tonight?
Where will you be?
Oh, not far.
That's probably
about the coolest approach
I've ever had.
I have to figure out
a new classification for you.
- Classification?
- 'Hmm.'
I've divided boys
into three types.
The sweepers,
the strokers--
Uh, educate me,
what's a sweeper?
The ones that sweep you
off your feet,
or try to, often leaving
large bruises.
The, uh, judo experts?
Right.
Then there are the strokers.
They use the soft caress
usually accompanied by, uh
soft words, soft lighting
'and soft music.'
- They set the stage, huh?
- 'Mm-hmm.'
And if a girl
gets too interested in the drama
act three is over before she
even knows the curtain is up.
What's that third,
uh, classification?
Ah, the subtles.
The ones
with the subtle approaches.
They have a lot
of different techniques.
Discussions of erotic
literature, Freud.
The Coming of Age
in Samoa, you know.
How about, uh, ill health
due to frustration?
I think that one's
been overworked lately.
You know, you sound like
you've been around quite a bit.
I was frosh queen
last semester.
- Lots of dates, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
All shapes, sizes, dispositions.
You still haven't
answered my question..
'...a-about staying aboard.'
I think we'll have to let that
wait u-until we've researched
your classification
a little further.
And how long do you think
that might take?
Oh, no telling,
it might be quite a while.
Well, uh, a Brown man
is trustworthy
loyal, helpful,
and, uh, patient.
You have a nice flow
of talk, Merritt.
'What's your IQ, anyhow?'
Don't tell anybody,
but it's high, 138.
[whistles]
This could be a long siege.
What's yours?
Uh, 140.
Hey there, Mr. Ryder.
Evening, miss.
Hiya, Wesley.
'Thanks.'
Uh, do-do you mind if I just
eat half of mine?
- You're not hungry?
- Oh, yes.
But...I've got this poodle.
[indistinct chatter]
[car horn honking]
You know, we spend
more time here
than we do on the beach.
Hey, here we go again.
[car horn honking]
Any broken tibias here?
Any chips or fragments?
You all in one piece?
No thanks to you.
Phew, should be a little
more careful, baby Ruth.
You might have been seriously
killed, jaywalking like that.
Jaywalking? You came out
of left field.
Yeah, that's what they say
about our music.
Boys and girls,
youth of America
the Basil Demetomos Quintet,
purveyors of dialectic jazz
'will hold a musicale forthwith
at the elbow room.'
You are all invited,
beer is on the quintet.
[all cheering]
[instrumental music]
[applause]
(Basil)
'No, no, no, please, please.'
We do not want applause.
Let's keep things as unfrantic
and cerebral as possible.
'If you have any questions,
ask them during the breaks.'
The selection you just heard
was the nuclear love song
composed by our percussionist.
Next is an original
of my own
written for guitar
and flute, entitled
"A meeting between Shakespeare
and Satchel Paige
on Hempstead Heath."
[instrumental music]
Well, are we wonderful?
Are we the greatest
you've ever heard?
- Compliment me.
- Well, you're different.
Dialectic jazz is not only
different, it's profound.
Beer for everybody,
lemme know when that's gone.
What's dialectic jazz?
I don't dig dialectic.
What's the scene?
Short girl, don't ever use
jive talk in my presence.
If you wanna speak to me,
keep it civilian.
No! No minus seventh there!
It's more immersion,
less eruptive!
It's offensive
in that sound plane.
My boys are tired.
Five days coming down here..
...six concerts everyday
since we left school.
Six a day?
No wonder you're loaded.
Oh, we did not earn this money,
we never accept money.
As a matter of fact,
we pay the audience.
- Huh?
- Well, usually in beers.
That way we're never
indebted to anyone.
We can play what we want..
...not what everybody else
wants us to.
We're incorrupt.
Like athletes, however we..
...sometimes become a little
too finely trained.
And we need to reestablish
social contact with our public.
Date me tonight,
baby Ruth.
- Hmm, booked.
- Oh.
Date me tonight,
big girl.
- I got a date.
- Oh.
Well, let's not be insulting.
Date me tonight, short one.
What time?
(female #3)
'Hey, has anybody got
a light shade..'
[telephone ringing]
Hello, Basil?
Oh.
Dodie!
It's for you.
Hello?
I can't hear you.
What?
Yeah, ten minutes.
[indistinct chatter]
I don't know why I bother
to get dressed at night.
We usually land up
on the beach anyhow.
How are things going
with you two?
Oh, about the same.
He hints what he wants.
I hint about matrimony.
And while each of us is hinting
the other isn't listening.
He certainly is persistent,
though.
He keeps knocking on the door.
It's just a question of how long
I can keep it locked.
Hey, Mer. I think
your date's downstairs.
- Thanks, Angie.
- Mine hasn't even called yet.
[telephone ringing]
Whoops!
Hello, Basil?
Okay, so your name's not Basil,
don't get insulted.
Jill!
This one's yours.
It's about time.
- How's the romance?
- What romance?
He doesn't even know I exist.
How do you get through
to a musician?
[chuckles]
Maybe by being another musician.
Gads, it must be nice to go out
with someone who wears a suit.
I never know what TV is going
to look like from date to date.
[doorbell ringing]
Hi.
See what I mean?
[instrumental music]
We're getting a little chummy,
aren't we?
A cigarette, please.
I thought we were hitting it off
pretty good.
Yeah, too good,
that's why I'd like a cigarette.
It's not hard to see
you were frosh queen.
Thank you.
Is that a compliment?
Yes, it was meant that way.
Why, are you insulted?
A little, yes.
I mean, no girl enjoys
being considered promiscuous
even those who might be.
Now, that's a pretty
old-fangled notion, Merritt.
Oh?
Sex is no longer
a matter of morals.
That idea went out
with the raccoon coats.
Sex is, well, it's a part
of personal relations.
Oh, really?
It's-it's a pleasant,
friendly thing
like, like, like shaking hands
or, or making sure
you catch a person's name
when you're introduced.
I-I hadn't realized.
Well, it's like
contributing to charity
or working
on a civic committee.
As a matter of fact,
it's actually
serving your fellow man.
Uh, uh, what about the, this
old-fangled notion called love?
Shouldn't that figure somewhere
in the proceedings?
Later, after we become
better acquainted.
More marriages go on the rocks
just because people
aren't better acquainted.
Uh-uh, it's talk like this
that may get me
bounced out of school next week.
Well, it's nice to know
we agree on something.
Hm, isn't it?
Well, let's see if we can agree
on what time you take me home.
You mean now?
Now.
Sure losing face
in this contest.
Aren't we
the early ones tonight?
You have an argument
or anything?
Ivy Leaguers never argue.
- They discuss.
- Hm, yeah.
[Melanie laughing]
[laughing]
(Melanie)
'Yeah.'
[laughing]
Oh, sister. Have we got
any bicarb or anything?
[Melanie laughing]
[knocking on door]
Is this the residence
of Melanie Tolman?
Sure, fall in.
[laughs]
Okay, what happened to you?
I've been dining
and I've been dancing..
...and I've been drinking!
- No!
- Shh!
Put on some coffee.
I'll get her things off.
Mer, I've been
drinking grasshoppers.
Mer, have you ever tasted
a grasshopper?
Not intentionally, no.
[laughs]
No, Mer, no
not a grasshopper that hops, Mer
a grasshopper
in a glass that's green.
You'll be green, too,
in the morning.
Who arranged this little party?
Your friend, Dill?
- Dill! No, not Dill.
- Tug.
I was with Franklin.
Franklin!
Mer, you wanna know something?
I'm in love with Franklin
and Franklin's in love with me.
Isn't that the most wonderful
thing you've ever heard, Mer?
Mer, you were right, so right.
That's fine, that's fine.
What was I right about?
Everything, everything you said,
the whole thing--
- Good.
- So--
You tell me all about it
in the morning
and we'll have
a nice, little talk.
I wanna talk now!
- Beddy bye, kiddo.
- No!
No! I've got to tell you !
I wanna tell everybody
all about Franklin and me
and life and love..
- What do you think?
- Oh, definitely. Yep.
- Come on.
- This way.
...and love with Franklin,
me, Franklin
and love and life, and then..
[screams]
Oh!
- How goes the battle?
- Goes awful.
They say the only cure
for a hangover is 24 hours.
Maybe I'll live that long.
Wanna tell me about it now?
Hm, wanna tell you about what?
Oh, I'm not sure,
but whatever it was
it, uh, certainly seemed
important to you last night.
What did I say?
Well, it was pretty incoherent.
Mostly about Franklin
and, and that I was right
about something or the other.
- I said that?
- You don't remember?
Oh, I must have been
really smashed.
Stoned,
but as long as
that's all that happened.
Is it, Mel?
I don't know what you mean.
I, I-I'll run down to the
library and get you some books.
I don't need any books!
And no matter what happened,
I'm in love with Franklin.
I know it's none of my business
but a couple of days ago
didn't you say the same thing
about Dill?
Merritt, what are you trying
to do, make me feel like--
I'm just trying to see
that you don't get caught
in some crazy merry-go-round.
I'm not caught!
Alright, Mel. Let's forget it.
I'm sorry,
I, I know advice is cheap.
Well, it is
when you don't take it yourself.
Oh, oh,
now we're talking about me?
Well, why not?
You sure haven't made a secret
of the way
you feel about things.
In fact, you've practically
preached on the subject.
- Preached?
- Well, talked, anyhow.
Why, even that day in class--
Oh, is that
what I was so right about?
Well, you seem to think so.
Well, since when
am I the last word?
And what did that have to do
with you, anyway?
I-I-I was talking
about people in general
not kids who go out
and get drunk together.
Don't!
Mer, don't spoil it
for me, please.
I'm, I'm sorry.
Mer.
I, I'm alright.
I know what I'm doing.
Would-would you do me a favor?
Would you hang around with us
once in a while?
You're always so alone,
we never see you anymore.
I will.
Look, Ryder's invited me out
for a run on the boat
this afternoon.
- Would you come with us?
- Oh, Mer, I'd love to.
Uh, well, I think
I have a date with Franklin.
Alright, then,
I-I'll see you tonight.
Early and in much better shape.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
- Ryder?
- Uh-huh?
You don't mind
my asking Melanie along, do you?
No, why should I?
Two people by themselves,
they get lonely
but with three,
it's a real ball.
I had a reason for it.
Thanks for letting her come.
Any time at all.
I understand these things.
You feel you need a chaperone.
With you? Whatever for?
I don't know
why I waste my time with you.
I guess
maybe it's because I like you.
Funny, that's the first time
I ever said that to a girl.
Oh, stop, the first time
you ever told a girl
you liked her?
Yeah, oh, I've said I loved them
but I never said I liked them.
[instrumental music]
Purely dialectic.
[music continues]
Man, this dialectic's too much!
[all applauding]
We're home, kiddie.
Too soon.
Well, let me in on it.
I was just thinking.
Do you know where I am tonight?
I know I couldn't guess.
- I'm in Chicago.
- No.
Yes, I'm in Chicago
at Angie's house
and I'm playing bridge.
That's a nice pastime.
That's what I wrote in a letter
to my parents.
Somebody mailed it for me
from Chicago.
[laughs]
I'm glad I'm not in Chicago.
I'm glad I'm here...with you.
So am I.
Does everyone
feel the same way we do
or are we very special?
Well, feel the same way, how?
Well, about each other
as though
we've known each other for ages
instead of just a few days?
Everything's happened so fast.
Yeah, well, that's the climate.
Instant romance, guaranteed
by the Chamber of Commerce.
It must be.
This girl, a girl from school
came down here last year
and she met a boy
from Columbia, a senior.
They knew each other one week
and the next thing,
they were married
in just one week.
Yeah, well, that's the trouble
with those Columbia jokers.
Well, they're too impulsive.
[instrumental music]
[groans]
Hey.
'Who let you in?'
Anybody here from Princeton?
[indistinct chattering]
It's not that I drink too much
it's just that
I drink all the time.
[laughing]
[instrumental music]
[bass violin music]
You may rub rosin on my bow.
Ah. Gin.
Forty two.
That puts you down 6984 points.
- You owe me 17 cents.
- You want it now?
Ah, from what I've heard
about your credit standing
I'd say you could be trusted.
- Thank you.
- Anybody for swimming?
Come on, TV
even though you can't swim,
at least get wet.
Water's for drinking.
Attention, class.
Have either of you 2 pledges
happen to notice
the date lately?
Well, Mr. Smith and I have,
and for your information
we have exactly two days left
in this vacation.
(Tuggle)
'Two days?'
Snow and ice, Dr. Raunch
and the dean. Oh, Ryder.
Be comforted.
TV has an announcement.
Students, in view
of the impending disaster
we are about
to start living it up.
Tonight we hit the showplaces
the hot spots,
to mingle with the elite.
Your hosts, Mr. Ryder Smith
and your humble servant.
- You mean, dress-up stuff?
- You may dress to the nines!
- Right, my friend?
- To the nines.
What are you going to wear,
your baseball suit?
Now, there's
an uncalled-for remark.
Two days? Well, come on, Tug,
let's take advantage of it.
Uh, nice kids, aren't they?
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.
Yeah, funny thing about women
if you don't make a big pitch
for them, they get mad.
If you do, they get mad.
How can you win?
You can't, they're not playing
for the same stakes.
Boy, I know what you mean.
While you're seeing stars
they see a wedding ring.
They're so darned practical.
You know something?
I don't think they realize
what a risk marriage is for men.
Well, not so much
for a guy like you.
You can afford to be wrong.
I can't even afford to be right.
(man on radio)
'Car seven,
go to Paradise Hotel.'
'A live hammerbead shark
has been placed in the pool.'
[laughs]
Things are heating up
for a grand finale.
- Bye, kids.
- Bye!
- Have fun tonight.
- Have a good night, Dodie.
Do I look alright?
You'll sweep him off his feet.
I'll bet. Two days left.
If he doesn't say something
about something tonight
I think I'll clobber him.
What's the score
in the Ivy League?
Still playing off the tie?
Tug, do you think the daughter
of a small-town druggist
could find happiness
as the wife of a millionaire
'from South Knuckston,
Massachusetts?'
(Tuggle)
'You're kidding!'
'Oh, Mer,
I'm so happy for you !'
Mer, that's mystic,
absolutely mystic!
Wait, wait, do not mail
the shower invitations yet.
The subject hasn't even come up.
What?
I just have a feeling
that it might
and I want to be ready
with the answer.
Look, I want
a frank statement of fact.
Do you see any improvement
in me at all?
- Angie, you look wonderful!
- You look great!
- Straight arrow?
- Sure.
- You'll sweep him off his feet.
- Crazy.
[knocking on door]
Come in.
- Hi, you kids ready yet?
- Hello, Basil.
How are you tonight, Basil?
Okay, short one.
Come on, let's go.
Sweep him off?
I'll knock him off.
- Goodnight, Mel.
- Goodnight, Tuggle.
You sure you won't change
your mind and come along?
No, thanks.
Uh, I just don't feel like
going out tonight.
I hate to think of you
sitting here all alone.
I'll be fine.
Besides, Franklin may call.
Have a good time.
See you tomorrow.
Alright. Goodnight.
Goodnight.
[instrumental music]
[crowd laughing]
I don't understand it.
He's always so prompt.
Maybe he went to rent a costume.
He doesn't have to rent 'em.
He invents 'em.
I don't care
if he shows up looking like
Whistler's father
as long as he--
(TV)
'Good evening, fans.'
Why, TV, you look dreamy.
Well, let's blast off, people.
The night
isn't getting any younger.
And neither are we. Let's go.
(woman on phone)
'Operator.'
Could you connect me
with room 5, please?
[telephone ringing]
Hello? I can't hear you !
Come on, Franklin,
don't be a staller.
Will you wait a minute, fellas?
- Hi, Mel.
- Hi.
I don't usually
invite myself to parties
but it sounds like I'll be
awake all night anyhow.
Look, I wouldn't invite
my worst enemy to this party.
It's a convention of idiots!
Oh. Am I gonna see you?
Am I gonna see you?
Tonight, I mean.
Yeah, I'll meet you later.
Give me time
to get rid of the idiots.
Same place, about 10:30.
Yeah. You wait for me.
Alright, I'll be there early.
Please try to hurry.
[Franklin hangs up]
[instrumental music]
I propose a toast to Michigan!
- To Michigan!
- And to The Tropical Isle.
(all)
The Tropical Isle!
To the Fairview Apartments!
(all)
The Fairview Apartments!
[glass shatters]
Your glasses are very weak
in this place.
As a matter of fact,
so are your drinks.
Please, please,
no excitement, eh?
- Alright.
- Be nice, eh?
Alright! Now take sex.
You're always taking sex.
I wish you'd take something else
for a change.
The day I do, you may fling
my ashes to the wind.
Oh, excuse me, and good evening.
Ooh! Hey, what's in that anyhow?
Oh, a love potion,
I've tried everything else
and now I'm trying
to get you blotted.
Blottoed.
You know something, Ryder?
You just may succeed.
- I-in what?
- In getting me blottoed.
Oh.
What's wrong with you?
I like that kind of music.
Oh, you call that music?
They're probably using
old Mozart arrangements.
My glasses.
- I-I can't find my glasses!
- Here.
Not those glasses,
these glasses!
Lock the doors!
Please, no excitement,
no excitement
or I ask you
to get out from here! please!
- 'Hey, I think I found them !'
- Where?
- Yay!
- Where?
Aren't these your glasses?
Oh, well, thanks.
Aah.
Turn on the lights!
Somebody stepped on them!
Someone stepped on
my friend's glasses!
Now, what sort
of an establishment
are you running here?
Please, please! Sit down!
I'm blind.
Angie, you'll have
to lead me around, Angie.
I'm Merritt.
That's Angie over there.
- Do you hear me, Angie?
- I hear ya.
[drumroll]
(male #)
'Once again,
the management takes pleasure'
'in presenting Lola'
'the sea nymph
of The Tropical Isle!'
[all applauding]
[instrumental music]
[all applauding]
What lungs!
Get those lungs.
It hasn't anything to do
with her lungs.
She's got a little hose down
there she breathes through.
You see?
Yeah. What lungs!
[all applauding]
What's going on?
Well, what's going on?
Lola, the sea nymph.
- What's she doing?
- Breathing.
TV, you..
What happened to TV?
- Did anybody see TV?
- What's going on?
[indistinct chattering]
Oh! He can't even swim!
- TV!
- What's goin' on?
TV, come on out! TV!
He's climbing the ladder!
- 'What's going on?'
- Oh! TV!
Get out from in that tank!
[crowd chattering]
TV!
- TV!
- That's beautiful!
- Can you hear me?
- 'Stay down, boy.'
- 'Be careful!'
- TV!
TV! Here!
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
Get out from in!
[indistinct chattering]
Angie, Angie, what's going on?
Get out now!
Give him air!
Give him air!
(Angie)
'Give him air!'
Angie, what's going on?
(Angie)
'Look out, Basil! Look out!'
Ah, you can't see!
You..
Up, Up!
He can't see!
- Get out!
- Ah!
[gasps]
Look!
Oh, please! Get out!
Last one in
is a rotten egg! Yay!
[siren wailing]
[indistinct yelling]
- One at a time.
- What's going on?
May I have a word, please?
I think I can straighten out
this whole matter
in no time.
Go ahead.
Well, this gentleman here
cannot swim, you see?
No, I don't see.
If he can't swim,
what was he doing in the tank?
Oh, but that's the whole point.
He dove into the tank
because he admired me.
'He risked his life
just to show me how much.'
I call that gallantry,
don't you?
And there's so little gallantry
left in the world.
I don't think
he should be punished for it.
I think he should be rewarded!
[chuckles]
Consider that now.
Yeah, consider that.
Out, everybody out.
Come on, get out. And stay dry.
'Wait a minute!'
Haven't I
seen you in here before?
Just once,
and purely by accident
the night my strap broke!
Out, out. Go on, get out! Go on!
Hey, class,
the night is still young.
What do you say
to a beach party?
[all cheering]
How about Jade Beach?
[all cheering]
I wish I was dead.
[instrumental music]
[all applauding]
Ladies and gentlemen,
we will now play an origi--
[all laughing]
We will now play
an original tone poem entitled
"Don't Litter The Streets
Of Philadelphia."
[instrumental music]
That act you do in the tank
stupendous routine
you've got there.
- Stupendous!
- Thank you.
It's all
a matter of breath control.
You have to learn
to control your lungs.
[inhales]
What lungs!
Showbiz. Wow!
It must be a great life!
Oh, it has its rewards
the lights, the glamor,
the applause.
(TV)
'Yeah. Boy!'
I was in showbiz myself once.
'On television.'
- Oh?
- Where?
It was up at school,
the day they made me
honorary colonel
of the ROTC.
Oh.
[giggles]
I love the whole world tonight
and everybody in it.
Me included?
You included.
But not enough, huh?
Here.
No more gargle for you,
young lady.
- You'll be on your ear.
- Hm.
I thought
you wanted me that way.
Maybe I'm feeling charitable,
Merritt.
- I was married once.
- You were?
In Detroit where I was playing.
He said he was
a big tool-and-dye man.
I was only 19.
And he was
no big tool-and-dye man at all.
He screwed bolts
at some auto plant.
Oh, I've seen the seamy side
of life, my little one.
It hasn't all been
beer and roses by a long shot.
We all have our troubles.
You know mine?
I'm a-a bust with women
'out-and-out,
complete and absolute.'
Oh!
The only woman
who was ever nice to me
was Ms. Barbara Smith Holmes
Von something
the only, only woman.
I think that's a stinking shame.
[leaves rustling]
You know what I want tomorrow?
I want to go out
on the boat all day long.
I want to keep going
in a straight line
and never turn back.
That'd be fine
except the boat went out
of water for repairs today
and tomorrow I'm headin' north.
Tomorrow? You have to?
A few hours from now
we'll be saying goodbye.
Nice to have known you, Merritt.
I could stay down
a couple of days, Merritt.
It wouldn't matter.
Stay with me, Mer.
We need time. It's new to me.
The way I feel about you,
I-I, I don't know what it is.
Maybe that old-fangled thing
called love.
Do you suppose, Mer?
Before getting acquainted?
[laughing]
Watch !
- Whoa!
- Ah !
[Lola laughing]
[sobbing]
[both laughing]
Whoops! Hey, my shoe!
- My shoe!
- Oh !
[both laughing]
Whoa!
[both laughing]
[both laughing]
Whoa, whoa!
Hi.
Remember me?
TV, I'd, uh
I'd like to go home, please.
So who's stoppin' you?
[grunts]
You go on ahead.
I'll catch up.
Are you following me? What for?
Because..
...I thought
we liked each other.
Does that mean you own me?
What right have you got
to tell me what to do?
What are you, my mother
or the PTA or something?
Leave me alone.
Alright.
Alright.
- Come on !
- Wait.
Well, if we're going, let's go.
- You said you wanted--
- Will you please shut up?
Please, just shut up, huh?
[knocking on door]
Franklin couldn't show.
He got tied up with the idiots.
Oh, no. No.
Nice to see you again, Mel.
No. No.
What's this?
No.
Please, no.
No.
No!
[telephone ringing]
[telephone ringing]
Hey, Tug, the phone.
[telephone ringing]
[sniffles]
Hello?
What? I don't understand you.
Who is it?
Who is this? Melanie?
I wanna speak to Merritt.
(Tuggle on phone)
'Hello?'
'Hello, Melanie?'
'Melanie, what is it?
Where are you?'
Marina Motel.
Where?
(Melanie on phone)
'Silver Beach.'
Are you alright?
Uh, Melanie, answer me!
[sobbing]
Melanie!
[telephone clicking]
What is it?
[people laughing]
Let's get out of here, Merritt.
- Will you come with me?
- Where?
Any place,
anywhere we can be alone.
Don't you wanna?
- I-I-I don't know.
- Merritt.
All of a sudden I'm..
Don't be frightened.
I'm not frightened
and I'm not being coy.
I-it's just that I've, I've..
I've never done
anything like this before.
You certainly had me fooled.
All that talk--
That's all it was is talk.
And unless you love me
the way I love you--
I love you, Merritt.
I love you.
[people laughing]
Merritt!
Mer!
- Tug, what is it?
- Mer.
Something's happened.
Melanie, she called.
- She wanted to talk to you.
- What did she say?
I don't know.
I couldn't understand her.
- She's in trouble, Mer.
- Where is she?
I-I don't know.
A motel or something.
Silver Beach.
That's all I could get.
- S-Silver Beach?
- Up the road about five miles.
Come on.
[instrumental music]
[car honking]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[car honking]
Hey!
[car honking]
Crazy kid.
[cars honking]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[cars honking]
[tires screeching]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[cars honking]
Oh, one more thing.
When they brought her in,
the nurse said
she was mumbling something
about a boy named, uh, Dill.
You know
where he can be reached?
- No, sir.
- Dill?
What's he got to do with it?
Well, he was at a motel
with her earlier
walked out and left her.
I know where to reach him.
Miss?
Fairview Apartments,
apartment 5.
She'll be alright.
I talked
to the ambulance doctor.
He didn't think it was too bad.
I suppose
somebody should thank you.
I'm sorry I'm not
in a grateful mood right now.
Are you gonna blame me for what
somebody else did to her?
I blame all of you
who think of a girl
as something cheap and common
just put here
for your personal kicks.
Look, she got mixed up
with the wrong people.
Have you met
any right ones lately?
- Am I all through?
- Hm? Oh, Yes. Go ahead.
Merritt Andrews?
Oh, she wants to see you.
Room 136.
- How is she?
- She'll get by.
Just for a minute.
She'll be asleep soon.
Hey, are you alright?
Oh, I lived it up,
didn't I, Mer?
I sure lived it up.
Shh. Melanie, don't.
[sobbing]
Why didn't I die, Mer?
- Why didn't I die?
- Hey, look.
E-everything's gonna be alright.
Do you hear me?
As soon as you get
back to school.
No, not school.
I want to go home to my father.
I wanna talk
to my father and my mother.
They'll tell me what to do,
won't they, Mer?
Sure, they will.
Hey, look, I..
I-I'll wait and go home with you
and we'll take the bus together.
We'll have a wonderful trip!
You wait and see.
Oh, Mer!
[sobbing]
I feel so old, so old.
Mel, listen.
Now, it's not
the end of the world!
You've got a long life to live.
You've got a long way to go.
Y-you'll meet somebody
some nice boy back home.
Oh, some nice boy.
Then I'll tell him all about
my wonderful spring vacation.
Oh, he'd like to hear that,
wouldn't he, Mer?
Hey, Mel, listen.
It's alright.
Hey, it's alright, darling.
You go to sleep now.
M-Mer..
You wanna hear a big joke, Mer?
They..
They weren't even Yalies.
[sobbing]
I got here as soon as I could.
How is she?
We don't know yet.
How would you hear about it?
I went to the apartment
to find you. Dodie told me.
I want you to know, Tug..
...I wasn't
anyplace else tonight.
One, two, go!
(Merritt)
Tug! Tug, you forgot this.
Oh, no! So long, Merritt.
- Give Melanie our love, huh?
- I sure will.
See you in the frozen north.
Lift your right leg six inches.
- There you are!
- Yeah, thanks, uh..
Hey, you know somethin'?
You're a very beautiful girl,
Angie.
That's right. Uh-huh.
I gotta keep this kid
in the dark.
Come on, Tug !
Let's hit the road!
Okay, okay, okay.
Here.
How long are you gonna be here?
Oh, the doctor says it'll be
about two or three days.
- Anything I can do for you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, just let me know
if I'm still in school.
Okay. Take care of yourself.
- I will.
- Goodbye, Merritt.
(Basil)
'Say goodbye to Ryder, huh?'
Yes, and brush up
on your interpersonal relations.
Hey, TV, you watch your driving.
Oh, you mean,
two hands on the wheel?
- Mm-hmm.
- Like this?
[all laughing]
(Basil)
What's going on?
What's going on?
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
(Ryder)
'Ryder Smith.'
Brown University, senior class.
I heard you were staying behind.
I thought I'd hang around
drive you and Melanie home.
Thank you.
- How's she doing?
- She's coming along, uh..
I-it'll take time,
but she'll pull out of it.
I'm sorry about the other night
what I said at the hospital.
Don't apologize.
I had it coming.
I-I was angry..
More than that,
I-I was just plain scared.
I, I kept thinking
it could have been me.
It could have been, Ryder.
You'd never lose your grip.
You're a pretty strong girl,
Merritt.
Not really.
No girl is
when it comes to love
what she thinks is love.
How do you know the difference?
Do you love me, Ryder?
I think so.
Do I love you, Ryder?
I hope so.
Look.
I don't have the answers
any more than you.
But for us, anyhow,
it's not the way we started out.
I'm sure of that now.
I don't wanna know you
for just a few days
or a spring vacation.
I'd like to know you
for a long time, Merritt.
I'd, I'd like to know you, too.
A lot of big things
coming up this term.
Senior prom,
house dance, graduation.
'A lot of big things.'
'You think you can make
a couple of 'em?'
Mm-hmm.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]