Who Done It? (1942) Movie Script
Well, what's the verdict,
Doctor? I don't like it.
You have to watch
that heart of yours.
What are you trying to do, scare me?
Colonel, you are working too hard.
Well, if you've got to go, you
might as well go in the harness.
You are listening to
America on the Air,
presented from coast to
coast in the United States,
and by shortwave
around the world.
And now, for tonight's odd facts
concerning the commerce of this hemisphere.
In a single year, the amount of coffee
imported into the United States...
would be sufficient to form
a tower 8,264 feet in height,
with a base diameter
of 20 feet by...
Very interesting,
that announcement.
Very. But you are not certain yet.
Not yet, Doctor. Not until
I find out what these mean.
But as soon as I do...
You sent for me, Colonel? Yes, Miss Little.
Send Heller
in here, please.
Will I see you tonight at the
broadcast, Doctor? I'll be there.
Colonel Andrews, for ten weeks I've
been writing Murder at Midnight,
one of your best shows... The
Crossley rating doesn't agree, Heller.
That's why I took
you off that program.
Is that why you took me
off three other big shows?
Or is it because Miss Little, your
producer, doesn't appreciate my writing?
Now, just a minute... I make
the decisions here, Heller.
I've decided that your
murders have no ingenuity.
I could take care of that. The way I
feel right now, I could devise a murder...
that would baffle
even Sherlock Holmes.
Maybe I can use that
on my present assignment:
The Romance
of Rita and Rob.
A soap opera.
Yes? Send him in.
Mr. Turner's waiting, Colonel.
You're on, Mr. Turner. Thanks.
So, you're the new staff writer
for Murder at Midnight.
That's what it says in the
contract. Congratulations.
I wrote that program for
some time. Oh, really?
Oh, I'm sorry. I hope I
didn't take... Oh, forget it.
One man's loss is another man's
gain. Lots of good luck to you.
Thanks.
Colonel Andrews?
Yes.
It's nice to see you,
Mr. Turner.
You certainly don't look quite like what
I expected after reading your scripts.
I'm afraid all college professors
are a little disappointing.
Not when they bring
new ideas to radio.
That's why I'm as enthusiastic
about your work as your producer.
Well, I guess I'll have
to thank both you and him.
Not him. Her.
Jane!
Hello, Jimmy.
So you're the producer
of Murder at Midnight.!
Am I confused.
It serves you right.
If you'd write me a letter once in
a while, you'd find those things out.
If I'd write to you? What
about you writing to me?
Here we go again. It's
certainly one on me, Colonel.
Here I spend the best years of my life
advising this young lady against a career,
and I wind up
by working for her.
Yes.
Wait a minute.
Are you responsible
for getting me this job?
Of course not.
I...
All I did was ask
Colonel Andrews...
Is it her fault that I
considered your script the best...
of the hundreds I had to wade
through? So that's the way it is.
Well, I appreciate
this little conspiracy.
I'd like to thank you both. But I'd teach
school for the rest of my natural life...
rather than take
a handout from a woman.
Why don't you come up
to the broadcast tonight?
Please do, Jimmy. We're doing
the last of the current series,
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
I'll hear the broadcast all right...
on a train, headed due north.
Mr. Turner.!
Must I remind you that I have
a contract for your services,
and I intend
to exercise it?
You'll get plenty of exercise
trying to find me.
May I ask you a question,
Colonel? Certainly.
What did I ever see in that stubborn,
irresponsible, aggravating...
lovable Irishman?
Want to cry on my shoulder?
No, I want to cry on his.
One Limburger cheese
sandwich, please. Excuse me.
- One Limburger cheese sandwich.
- One Limburger cheese, coming up! Right!
Limburger cheese.
What are
you doing in there?
Come on. Come on.
Snap out of it.
Hey, Chick. Tell the guy we got
some nice ham sandwiches here. What?
- The man don't want a ham sandwich.
- Oh.
Look, Chick,
we got some lovely roast beef.
Never mind the roast beef. Get
in with that Limburger cheese.
If you think I'm gonna get in here
with the Limburger, you're cr-razy!
Come on. Come on.
Slice one up.
Will you bring
that cheese in here?
Will you
make it snappy?
- How about an egg salad?
- Look, the man don't want an egg salad.
He wants cheese.
Hey, what happened
to my sandwich?
What's holding up that Limburger
cheese? Be right up. Comin'up.
There we are, si...
Eww.
What are you doing?
Look out, look out.
Stop. Stop. Ahh...
Will you stop this
nonsense and get to work?
Okay. Hey, brother. Take that
someplace else and eat it, will ya?
How long do I have to wait?
I ordered a strawberry sundae.
You did? What day is it today? Friday.
You got two more days to wait. Hey,
chubby. How much is a glass of orange juice?
Fifteen cents.
Too much money.
Not the way I make it.
I bet you a nickel...
I can drink it faster
than you can make it.
You bet me a nickel you can drink
it faster than I can make it? Yeah.
You're on.
Let's go, shorty.
Here.
Think you can beat me?
Okay, okay. Come on. Come on.
Take your time. Take your
time. Come on. Come on.
All right.
All right.
I'm ahead of you now.
Aah!
I'm one up on you.
I think I'm gonna
beat ya, shorty.
You win. There's your nickel.
You mean I beat you?
Ain't that a shame... a little kid
like that trying to outsmart me.
Sorry!
Y-Yo...
Hello, Mr. Turner.
Oh, hello.
Oh, by the way, Miss Little
asked me to tell ya that she...
Sorry. I never heard
of the lady.
Oh, hello, Miss Collins.
Oh, hello.
Oh, boys. You want to take extra
special care of Miss Collins here.
You may want to get on the air someday,
and she's secretary to Colonel Andrews.
Not Colonel Andrews, the head
of whole networks? That's right.
- Well, you leave her to us.
- I'll take a chocolate malted.
Chocolate malted?
What flavor?
Aw, you heard what she
said. Come on. Hey, boy.
This is our golden opportunity.
That's what you think.
Listen to me. You've got to
make a play for this girl.
She's Andrews' secretary.
Chances are if she likes you,
she'll introduce us to Colonel Andrews
and he'll buy our radio program.
Yeah? But Chick... Sure. What?
She ain't pretty. What's
that got to do with it?
It's got a lot to do
with it. Oh, you're crazy.
I've seen better heads on
malted milks. Here, here. Please.
Be careful with your
remarks. Get me a glass.
Go ahead, mix...
Contact!
Look, Mr. Turner, it's none of my
business, but Miss Little feels bad...
Let's forget the whole thing, shall we?
Stop it!
Off contact!
That's it. Now go ahead. Okay.
Now, get over there and start
pitching. But she don't appeal to me.
So what? You kiss her in
the dark. Okay. Good luck!
Drink hearty... What are you
doin'? Get over there. Go ahead.
I'm sorry you feel
that way about it.
Here's your malted,
beautiful.
Me?
Yes, you.
After all, he told me
that I gotta... Shh. Quiet.
- You are very cute.
- May I have a straw, please?
Help yourself, madam.
Thanks. Help yourself.
Anything at all. Say, do you
think that Colonel Andrews...
could use a couple
of crackerjack radio writers?
There's a swell job upstairs,
writing the Murder at Midnight show.
I just tossed it away.
Hey, that's just for us.
- Aren't you two soda jerks?
- Oh, no. We just took this job yesterday.
- Yeah. We don't even know what
we put in your malted milk.
We're only here to be close to
the radio producers. That's all.
We write our own radio mysteries. Sure.
We play the detectives,
and we solve the mysteries.
Would you like to hear our
latest yarn? Huh? Sure you would.
Come on. Let's read it
for her. Give it to us.
Here. I got a mike in my hand. Get a mike.
It's a prison mystery entitled, "The
Midget Gets the Chair," or, "Small Fry. "
"It's a dark and stormy night.
Rain is falling.
All you can see in the street
is muck and mire. "
Yeah. I'm Muck. I'm Meyer.
Hiya, Meyer. Pretty good. We're
the detectives. Hiya, Muck.
Yeah.
Don't clear your throat! Sorry.
"Suddenly, the radio says...
"Midget Mullins made a prison break before
the warden could get him into the chair.
So we sne-e-eak around to where his
girl lives... " Read that faster.
Don't read so slow. You're
scarin' me. All right, never mind.
Don't say, "They sne-e-eak.
" Say, "They sneaked around. "
All right. Go ahead. "He was
in love with his gun mole... "
Moll. Moll!
Mole.
M-o-o-o... Excuse me.
Pay no attention to him.
All right. All right. "... moll.
"I smashed down the door.
"Crash! Crash! Bang, bang, bang!
Shh. "Boom! Crick, crack, crick, crack.
- "And the door goes to the floor.
- That's right.
"And I pull out my gun and
I aim at him. Bang! Ouch!
- Bang, ouch! Bang, ouch!"
- If you're shooting him, why are you yelling ouch?
- I'm holding the gun backwards.
- If that's a radio script, I'll take vanilla!
Yes, ma'am. "And the moral
is, 'Crime doesn't pay. "'
And neither did she.
Oh, don't mind her, boys.
I think it's a swell script. Do you really?
Okay.
Excuse me, mister.
You bein' a good radio writer, maybe you
could help Chick and I get into radio.
If you would, we would sure
"depreciate" it. Would you?
Yes. Say, how about a
little sugar for my coffee?
Sugar? How many lumps? Three.
Three.
Turn around. Don't look.
Turn around. Don't look.
Yes, sir. What can I do for
you? Give me an egg sandwich.
An egg sandwich.
One egg sandwich. Eggs.
Hey, Chick!
Throw me a egg!
Hiya, Charlie!
Tickets, please.
Ah, you know me, Charlie.
These are my friends.
Yeah, I know you,
you little chiseler.
Step aside if you
haven't got tickets.
Oh, wait a minute, Charlie...
Step over there, please.
Never mind, girls.
I'll think up an angle.
Here comes one now.
A nice, fat one.
Well, see you later, boys.
Here it is. Murder at Midnight.
Hello, chubby. It was
a nice day until now...
till you come along. Aw,
what's the matter, chubby?
Whoo! You-You always make me do...
Go 'way! You got tickets for the broadcast?
For Murder at Midnight. Oh,
those are for last night.
Oh, no, no. They're for
tonight. Murder at Midnight.
No, last night. Look at 'em!
You mean they're no good tonight?
No. These are for last night?
Yeah.
Hey, Chick,
we can't go last night,
can we? Certainly not.
That's that.
They're no good.
You know, I thought that
Mr. Turner was a regular guy.
- He turns around and he gives us...
- Hey, look.
Here you are, Charlie. Okay,
girls, everything's under control.
Come here. Hey, Chick. Here's a
little kid right over... Chick? Chick.
Aw, keep quiet. You've
made us miss the show.
Not me, him. Three times today
you put it over on me, kid.
What are you doin' it to me
for? You a ruffian or something?
If you was a little bit
smaller, I'd take a punch at you.
Ah, gee, you make me feel like
a heel. Well, you are a heel.
I'll pay you for the
tickets. Oh, you want to pay?
You got any change? Sure, I
got some change right in here.
I'm sorry I made you feel like a heel,
but as long as you want to pay for 'em...
Here, give me two dimes for a
nickel. Two dimes for a nickel.
Right, right, right.
There you are.
Come on, come on! Are you
trying to pull another fast one?
What is this
"two dimes for a nickel"?
Come on!
Anything wrong?
Plenty's wrong! Fifteen
cents just went south.
Okay, here's your nickel.
Give me back my two dimes.
Okay. Don't try to rush
me anymore like that.
Chick. Chick.!
What are you doing?
I don't know, but whatever
I'm doing I'm doing wrong.
That little kid... Oh, don't
blame everything on the kid.
I mean, he's slippin' over a lot
of fast ones. What do you mean?
He just put me... He just... Hmm. What?
Hey, Chick. Here's two
dimes. Give me a nickel.
Well, certainly.
Fast.
A good one, huh?
What are you laughing
at? He did it to me...
Yes?
And you did it to me, too.
Oh, what's wrong with you?
Harry, is that Colonel
Andrews' mike? Yes, it is.
You haven't seen the Colonel,
have you? Don't worry about him.
He'll be here.
Hello. So, you didn't take the train north.
No, I missed it. Sure you
didn't change your mind?
It's not altogether a woman's prerogative,
you know. Anyway, I'm glad you came.
Hey, there's the girl you've
got to make love to. No, Chick.
I'm not gonna make love to her.
She's only got a couple of buck teeth.
What do I care what she paid
for 'em? She don't appeal to me.
Go on, do your stuff,
Romeo. Wait a minute, Chick.
Mervyn's my name,
not Romeo!
To her, it's gotta be Romeo. I
just found out her name is Juliet.
Turn on the charm.
The charm?
Here she comes.
Go ahead.
Hello!
Well, hello. I think the charm is working.
Juliet, I'm gonna be
your Romeo.
My Romeo? Well, I like my
Romeos king-sized, but...
Do you want me
to be yourJuliet?
If you do, I'll give up
every other girl I ever knew.
- I'll give 'em all up for you.
- All right, you can buy me an ice cream soda after the show.
I've got to go now.
Hey!
How did you make out?
More chills and shudders. Oh, thank you.
What are you doing here,
Juliet?
You don't like
murder mystery.
What do you mean, I don't like
murder mysteries? I thrive on 'em.
They give my goose pimples
goose pimples.
Hey, come on. We can
get in this way. Come on.
I didn't know
it was glass there.
Hello, Mr. Turner.
Hi. Hi.
Hello, Mr. Turner.
How are you?
- Is that your girl?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah? Boy, is she pretty! Whoo!
Ooh!
Shh.
Sorry, gentlemen.
Not a very good example to set.
I was detained.
Government business.
Very serious, Jane.
Take that mike, Colonel.
Murder.
Murder at Midnight.
Tonight, we bring you
the thirteenth...
Murder at Midnight.
The forces of evil
stand at the threshold.
The time is short.
Two men
shall die this night.
Two men shall die in this,
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
Ladies and gentlemen,
before the play begins,
it is our privilege to bring you
a message of vital importance...
to every American.
May I present the executive director
of the General Broadcasting System,
ColonelJ.R. Andrews.
- Stand by, orchestra.
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to circumstances beyond our control,
this program has been interrupted.
You will be entertained
by a musical interlude...
until Murder at Midnight
can be resumed.
The ushers will escort
the audience to Studio "D."
He's dead. It must have been his heart.
I examined him
this morning.
I told him...
It was not his heart!
- This is murder.
- Murder!
- Murder.
Murder!
Murder.
Let's get out of here.
What are you slamming
the door for?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Who are you calling? Call
the cops. Call the cops.
No, I don't want to call the
cops. Call the cops. Call the cops.
Wait a minute. Quiet. Call
the cops. Call somebody.
Don't get excited.
We don't want the cops.
We want to solve
this mystery ourselves.
I don't want to be connected with any
murder, Chick. Don't you understand?
If we solve this case
ourselves, we'll become famous.
The public will be begging
for Muck and Meyer.
Yeah, and if they get us, we'll do
plenty of beggin' too. No, certainly not.
This will be the only radio program in
the world produced by two real detectives.
Yeah? Our names will go up
in lights. Great big lights!
Can't you see them? Picture
them: I can see them.
"Chick Larkin
and Mervyn Milgrim. "
"Now playing Alcatraz. "
Aw, nothing of the kind.
Let's go inside before rigor mortis
sets in. Wait a minute. Rigor mortis?
Yes. Oh, come on. Is he
on this murder case, too?
Wait a minute.
Don't anyone move.
Homicide squad.
Come on. Get on your feet.
Didn't know it was so small.
Where's the butler? What kind of
murder is this without a butler?
No butler
to ask questions to.
Who are you? Aah, what
are you talkin' about?
How'd you get here so
quickly? I just phoned.
Why wasn't this murder
reported yesterday?
It didn't happen. Why wait till the
last minute? Put it down. Take a note.
Right. Where's the victim? Over there.
Tell him to walk over here. We want
to question him. The man's dead!
Dead or alive,
he's gotta have an alibi.
Come here. What's your
name? That's a lie! I'm...
- Make a note of that.
- It's in the book.
I'm gettin' silly things from
this guy. He ain't answerin' me.
Well, grill 'im! Grill 'im. Hah?
I'm not hungry. Put that in the
book, too. Wait a minute, you.
Did you ever have the electric chair? No.
You're gonna get the electric
chair, and two years besides.
Did you ever have the chair before? No.
Never had it, uh? Ever
have a hotfoot? Yeah.
Same thing.
Different location.
Come on, speedy. Let's get
out of here. Put him away.
Hey, you. What do you know
about this mur...
It's Mr. Turner. Hello,
Mr. Turner. How are you?
What are you two fellows
doing here?
Look, we thought
maybe if we could solve...
this murder mystery here,
they'd put us on the rodeo.
Radio. Radi... Radio.
Better be careful. You're liable
to get into a lot of trouble.
Don't give us away. Don't turn
us in, huh? Don't tell on us.
All right, Sergeant. If you want to
solve this case, come right over here.
Okay, Sergeant. You're
with... He means you.
Me? Oh. Promoted me. Sergeant!
Come on, Private. Wait for the
sergeant. All right, go ahead.
This is the chair the colonel was
killed in. That chair killed Andrews?
That's right. Sit down. Try it out.
Right. No! You'll notice this
chair is practically all metal,
and you'll also notice a wire
attached to the leg of the chair.
The other end of the wire is
plugged into the control room.
- That would connect with the main power line, wouldn't it?
- Yes, it would.
Very ingenious. That completed the circuit
between the chair and the colonel's microphone.
When the microphone
was turned on...
Ten thousand volts
went through his body.
I beg your pardon?
He got 10,000 volts.
That's enough to elect anybody. He
should be president. Nah, not that kind.
What kind? That's what I
said. He got 10,000. Volts.
You know what "volts" are.
They're what?
That's right. Volts
are watts. What'd I say?
Go ahead and tell me. I asked you to
tell me what I said. You just said it.
What'd I say?
Volts are watts!
Volts are what? I'm
asking you, what's volts?
That's right. Don't try to twist me
now. Are you talking with a dialect?
Watts, watts, watts!
What's, what's, what's what?
Volts.
What's volts?
That's right. Well, that's
it! Well, go ahead and tell me.
What are volts? I'm
askin' ya! That's right.
Watts are volts. That's right. What?
Next thing you know, you'll be
tellin' me What's on second base!
Now, don't start that...
That's enough! I quit!
Wait a minute. What are you doing? Whoo!
Why don't they mark a dead-end
street here? Put a sign or something.
Evidence. Wait a minute. Give me that,
there. After all, that's evidence.
I'm still on the case. I'm still
a sergeant. What was you gonna say?
When the colonel pressed this
little button... Don't go no further.
I got it. I think I got
the whole case solved.
Everybody, watch me.
What is it?
When you press that button, the
juice goes through this here wire,
right into your body...
and kills him!
Now, everybody,
watch the reaction!
See what it does to me!
Push the button.
What am I sayin'? No! What are you doing?
Take it off. Take it off.
Take it off. Take it off!
Take it off. You would push
the button, wouldn't ya?
Sure. You would push
the button, wouldn't ya?
Wait a minute. Don't hold
me back. Don't hold me back.
Let me go. Where were you on the night
ofJanuary 16th? Come on. Get out of here.
Ah-ha-ha! This is an
open-and-shut case.
Whoever had access
to that control room is guilty.
That's no help. We all had access
to it. Every one of us here.
Except Dr. Marek, of course. What
do you mean, except Dr. Marek?
This studio wasn't in use for
two hours before the broadcast.
What was to prevent him from coming
in here and wiring up that chair?
Inspector, I found this just outside
the control room door. Oh, a clue.
Hey, that is a clue.
Gotta be a clue.
The murderer must have used that
glove to handle the high-tension wires.
If we find the hand that fits
that glove, we've got the murderer.
And it fits me perfect.
I'm...
Take it off, take it off, take
it off. I'm not the murderer.
Just want to try it on,
that's all. Take it off!
Just want... There's
the glo... Take it off!
All right, get that glove. Go
get that glove. Get the glove.
Get that glove.
Get it?
Put it in your pocket
and keep it there. Okay.
Now, listen. We've got all the
doors guarded, so don't try to leave.
Look here, Inspector,
I've got...
Sit down!
Yes, sir.
Not you. You come with me. Okay. Not you.
You know, Chick, I got the funniest
feeling that something's gonna happen.
All right, all right.
It did happen, didn't it?
Never mind.
Okay, okay.
Pull no knives on me, brother. Come on!
Come on. Get down, get down. Okay. Down.
What are you guys
trying to get away with?
We're going to solve this murder.
Can I speak to you privately?
Is this something to do
with the murder? Yeah.
What is it? Go ahead. Talk. I
saw everything that happened,
and well, I ain't a stool pigeon, but...
for half a buck
I'll squeal.
You'll squeal for half a buck? Yeah.
Okay. Here's your half a buck. Now, squeal.
Well, never mind
that kid.
We've got to find out who
murdered Colonel Andrews.
Maybe he was murdered by some of
his enemies. He had no enemies.
Then he was murdered by some of
his friends. He had no friends!
Then he was murdered by strangers.
He must have had strangers.
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
What are you doing?
Come here. Come here.
What's the matter?
What happened?
A fine time for a murder. I was gonna stay
home tonight, win the Wheel of Fortune prize.
Where's Studio "C," miss? Right there, sir.
Thank you.
Hey, Inspector!
Run along, son.
You want to know something?
There's a couple of soda jerks
around here playin' detective.
Don't you know it's against the
law to impersonate an officer?
Then how do you get away
with it? Get outta here...
I'm worried about
this whole murder, Chick.
When we questioned all
those people in there? Yeah?
There was one missing: Juliet.
We've got to investigate her.
Oh, notJuliet. I-I got...
I got to make love to her.
Don't tell me you fell for
her. I think I did. Mm-hmm.
You better take a drink. Brace
yourself up. I think that's what I need.
I'm gonna get one, too.
Hey!
What's the matter?
What are you stepping on it so
hard for? That was fast, huh?
Certainly. Just take it easy.
Don't try to break the...
Take it easy?
Take it easy.
See, there you are. Simple? I'm a big dope.
Certainly you are.
Go ahead.
No, no. You've got to keep
your foot on the pedal.
Keep your foot on it.
That's it. Now, take a drink.
Come here. Get over here.
Let me show you what to do.
Now, look. Get over
here. Now, there you are.
Now, go ahead,
take a drink. Go...
What's the matter? Go
ahead. Put it on once more.
Come on, now. Shh! Make
out I don't want to drink.
All right,
you don't want to drink.
Come on.
Not down there, up here.
Shh! Go ahead. Come on.
There it is, up here!
Go ahead!
Atta boy.
Take what you want of it.
Go ahea...
Look, come here.
Put your foot on it.
Go ahead, put your foot
on it. Give me a drink.
What are you
doing it to me for?
Well, gee, you wanted to... Take it easy!
What are you sweatin' about? We been standing
right here. Haven't been doing no running.
You're perspiring all over
the joint. Get out of the way.
Come on. Get your head down there.
You will do it to me, will ya?
Ah-ah-ah!
I don't want no more drinks.
Come on.
Come here.
Now, sit down there. And
behave yourself. Don't push me.
Can't help it if you got it. I'm
gonna look for thatJuliet dame.
You're all innocent, huh?
That wire just naturally
attached itself.
Looks like we're gonna have to grill 'em
one at a time. Now, listen, Brannigan...
Perhaps I can help you.
Go ahead, miss.
Well, for the past few days Colonel
Andrews has been very upset about something.
He was late to the broadcast tonight
because of some serious government business.
Mm-hmm. Only yesterday, he talked
to the F.B.I. in Washington,
over his private wire.
F.B.I., huh? You sound like
one of my scripts, Miss Little.
The F.B.I. had nothing to do with
this. This was a murder for jealousy.
Jealousy?
Who's jealous of who, pal?
Well, let's suppose a young
college professor comes to town,
and finds the girl he loves
has made good on her job.
With the help
of a very influential friend.
- Let's suppose that.
- And let's suppose I knock your ears off at the neck.
Take it easy, buddy. If there's any
slugging to be done around here, I'll do it.
While you're on the subject, why don't
you ask him who wrote tonight's play.
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
Yes. It features exactly the same
device by which the Colonel was murdered.
You wouldn't...
You wouldn't keep a secret
from me, would you, pal?
Certainly not. How come the Colonel
was bumped off just as in the script?
How would I know? Maybe I'm such a
good writer, I gave someone an idea.
That script has been kicking
around for a month. Inspector.
Yes?
Do you mind?
Oh!
Well? I think you should know this.
Only today, I heard him
threatening Colonel Andrews.
Don't try to pin this
on me, Doctor.
I seem to recall
you examined the Colonel,
and you blamed his death
on a weak heart.
That's right.
I heard him say that.
How about it, Doc? I have
been his physician for years.
- He had a weak heart.
- Let's lock 'em both up, Loot.
I'm not locking anybody up until I check
up on those two guys pretending to be cops.
No, you don't. I just
want to make a phone call.
I've been looking
all over for you.
You've got a lot
of explaining to do.
Moran said we'd find a body on
this floor, Coroner. We'll find it.
Well...
We didn't have far to look.
Looks like
he's been dead for weeks.
Dump him
in the basket, boys.
Wait a minute.
I'm not the guy. I'm not the
guy! I'm full of life, look!
Chick! Two guys want to pick
me up and put me in a basket.
And they thought I was
dead. Oh, boy! Hello, kid.
You can't trust nobody
around here. Can't trust no...
"Hello, kid. " Juliet,
what are you doing here?
Never mind that.
I want to question her.
Yes, we got to investigate you. We're
from headquarters. Just a minute.
This morning you were soda jerks
trying to write a radio script.
Oh, that was only a disguise.
That was a special case. Sure.
We solved that case, and the chief
gave us this murder for a bonus.
Search her. Search her! Huh?
Chick, you can't search
Juliet. Do as I tell ya.
- Juliet never did nothing wrong.
- Search her!
Give me the purse.
Give me somethin'.
I mean, after all,
you're tangling with the law.
I can't help it
if you are.
I'm gonna tell you one thing, Chick,
as true as I'm talking right now,
Juliet is too nice a girl
to commit a murder.
Mm-hmm.
What did you find?
Cookbook.
What do you mean?
Tells 57 ways
to cook a guy's goose.
Let me see that. Let me
see that. Give me this.
Well, studying how
to commit a murder, eh?
Sure, figuring out how people
get murdered is a hobby of mine.
You see, Chick,
it's only a hobby with her.
A hobby?
Now you let her get away. No, I don't
thinkJuliet would ever do a thing like this.
Well, we've got to get the
culprit. Never mind the culprit.
Let's get the murderer. The culprit
and the murderer are the same thing.
You mean, there's two of'em?
Yeah... Uh, no! Certainly not.
What's the matter now?
What's that?
- That's your shadow.
- That's my shadow?
Mm-hmm.
If that's my shadow, why ain't it
doin' the same things I'm doing?
Wait a minute.
That must be the murderer.
Say, he'd do anything to get
a hold of that rubber glove.
So what?
He's a killer.
So what? You've got to go
in there and capture him.
So long. Now, wait a minute. Come here.
I'm not going in there.
Now listen.
Why don't you go in? All right,
we'll gamble. See who goes in.
Okay. All right, take a number.
Four. No. Number three. You lose. Go on in.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Go on! Let's gamble
odd and even, like this.
Do you want to cheat? No. Give
me a chance to ask you a number.
Well, all right.
You take a number.
Number two.
Go ahead in. Go ahead.
Don't push, don't push.
Guy's a murderer. Stabs. What
are you worrying about? I'm here.
That's all. The game's
up. We're detectives.
I don't like his looks.
Go on over and search him.
Okay, Chick. Hurry up. Get over there.
Don't be a-scared of me. I
gotta search you, big boy.
Go on, search him.
It's nice material.
Very nice.
Oh. Badge.
Detective.
- Ooh.! Ooh.!
- What's the matter?
Did you find something?
Did you find something?
R-Ring!
Answer the phone.
Hello. Who's talking?
Oh. Operator, operator.
Sh-Sh-bong. Ooh.
Maybe they got away.
Got away, nothin'.
We'll get those murderin'
cutthroats dead or alive!
Hey, Chick, did you hear
what those cops said?
I heard them. They're gonna
catch us dead or alive.
We're on the spot.
I think so.
Those cops are after us
because they think we're guilty.
And the murderer is after us because we
have the evidence that will convict him.
What evidence?
You've got it.
What are you talking about?
It's in your pocket.
Oh, you mean the glove!
Mm-hmm.
You keep it. Oh, put... Put it away!
We'll need that to prove our
innocence when we get out of here.
Now, hold on to that. I'll
go see if the coast is clear.
Chick, I'm not gonna die.
I'm innocent, I'm tellin'ya.
Nobody's gonna give me
the electric chair, either.
I'm not gonna die
until it's my time!
Your time has come.
The time for silence.
You have lived too long.
You are about to die.
I don't want to die. It
will be a beautiful death.
What do I care how sweet
it is? I don't want to die!
Right in the back!
You dirty rat, for lettin'
me have it in the back!
Oh.
The bullet didn't kill ya?
Maybe this knife will.
Oh!
First you shoot me in the back,
then you stab me in the heart.
What a dirty culprit.
Chick!
Do you have halitosis?
What difference does it
matter now? Chick!
Chief, you can't kill this guy.
I'll get him. I'll fix him.
Here comes the Midnight Express.
Lay him across the tracks.
No, no, don't!
Don't pick me up!
Don't lay me across the
tracks! Please don't!
Chick! Chick!
The train is coming.!
Chick! Chick! Chick!
What's the matter?
The room is full of
people. They shot me. Where?
They stabbed me in the back.
Now look at me. Look at me now!
At what? A train just went over my legs.
Now, look at the way
I've got to walk.
Get up on your feet.
Get up on your feet.
I can't stand up any more.
I lost my legs. Stop it.
Now, what am I going to do?
Look at this.
It's only a transcription.
What's wrong with you? Oh!
Transcription. Certainly.
That's all it is. Come on.
Wait a minute. I don't mind
gettin' stabbed. What's the matter?
I don't mind getting shot in the
back. One of these guys insulted me.
This here guy over here.
What do you mean?
What was that crack
about halitosis?
What are you going to do about it? See?
That's...
Listen. Now, wait a minute. Now, just
a minute. Stop this nonsense, please!
- Now, listen to me.
If we want to save our necks,
we have got to find
the murderer.
Who do you think did it?
The doctor.
Aw. Not Doctor Marek. The doctor, yes sir.
- He's a kind old gentleman.
- I know, the kind stuff... Hey!
Where's the lights? Get the
lights! Get the lights! The lights!
It's over this way.
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
He went outside.
What are you doing in
here? I'm looking for clues.
In here? Ain't this "the clues closet"?
Get down out of here. Come on! Okay.
Get out. Come on, get up out
of there. Get your hands off me.
Now I gotta look for another
hidin' place. You found me up there.
I gotta find another one.
Hi, Doc. How's things?
Look out. Move over.
I want to climb up here...
Hey! Another murder!
Mervyn! Mer...
Mervyn!
Mer...
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
- Mervyn! Mervyn!
Get out of there.
What are you trying to do? I
was trying to make an impression.
All right, let's go.
Wait a minute, officers.
We're trying to help you.
We just found another dead body. Where?
Don't worry. There's no hurry.
He's hangin' around inside.
Where is it? "Where is it?"
I'll show you where it is.
"Where is it?" Follow me. All right.
"Where is it?" It's all
right. Don't get excited.
Come on, coppers.
The body of Dr. Marek
is in this closet.
Wait till you see the horrible
expression on his face.
Must have changed clothes.
So this is your corpse!
No, this is Juliet.
Now, don't tell me you were
waitin' for a streetcar.
No, funny man,
I was just plain scared.
There's been a lot going on around
here, and I went in there to hide.
Are you sure he was murdered? No, no.
When he heard you cops comin', he wanted
to find someplace to hide the knife,
so he stuck it in his chest.
What knife?
The knife
that the guy...
This knife.
This one right here.
Wait'll I wipe off my
fingerprints. Brannigan?
Take 'em in.
Come on, Mervyn!
Come on this way.
Hey, let me out ofhere.!
Out ofhere.!
Which way did they go?
"Which way did they go?"
There.
I like that better.
Well, what happened to the
fearless, independent businesswoman?
You would
bring that up.
Look!
Get back. Hide.
Oh, Jimmy, are you hurt? Certainly not!
How could a flashlight
hurt your head?
Did you recognize him?
No. Did you?
No, but there's something he
wants, all right. What could it be?
I don't know, but I'm gonna find it
if I have to tear the place apart.
There's something in this
room the murderer wants.
I think it's me. Maybe it's
in the transcription file.
Let's go over and look.
Yeah, come on.
No, you stay here and guard
that door. Why do you always...
give me these kind
of jobs for?
Always gotta guard doors
or something.
Give me that rubber glove.
Oh, there goes that
transcription thing again.
Hi, boy. I had trouble with this
record before about halitosis.
Whoo! Whoo-ooh!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
There he is! Hold on to him,
Mervyn.! Hold on to him.!
Oh!
Did you get him?
Juliet...
Juliet, kiss me.
Oh, my littleJuliet.
Juliet,
you should shave.
I mean, after all...
Get up out of there!
All right, all right!
I fainted!
Listen, officer, they didn't
do anything. I know they didn't.
Hey, we've got to give them
the slip. Give them what?
Give them the slip. Give them
the slip? Okay. Here you are.
What's that?
The slip.
Run, Mervyn.!
They're right behind you.!
Go ahead, Chick!
Keep goin', Chick!
I'll hold them out
with my life, Chick!
Nobody's gonna catch us,
Chick, old boy! Stay in there!
Two of them put their weight
on me! Go on, Chick, run!
Go ahead!
I got them, Chick.
Hold that key.
That'll...
Let's go, son.
Where did the walls go?
Termites.
All right,
stick your hands up.
I said,
put up your hands.!
Hey, it's our friend.
Shh!
Our friend, our friend!
Shut up. Let that be a
lesson to you coppers.
All right, you two, march toward
that wall, and keep marching.
Thanks.
And so, Harry the Hawk turned the
tables on his desperate enemies.
- Listen in again next week at this...
- You like it?
All the other kids go
crazy about that program.
Why...
Come here! Close the gate! Whoo-ooh!
Close the gate! Ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
Which way did
they go, Chief?
What did you grab
that time?
Use your feet!
Leave that alone! Leave it the way it was.
Get up on your feet.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Come on.
I gotta go back upstairs and get
something. What have you got to get?
My stomach. Oh, come on, come on.
Hey, it's a theater. Let's
go up and buy tickets.
No. Quiet.
Hey, look!
Those two guys came in here, and
we're not leaving until we find them.
Yeah, but Chief, The Wheel of
Fortune is just going on upstairs.
They're giving away $10,000, and
my wife dreamed I was gonna win it.
Well, my wife can dream,
can't she? Hey, you.
You see a couple of guys come in
here, a tall one and a little fat one?
No, I didn't
see anybody.
I know they're in here. Put a
man on every door. Right, Chief.
Well, we've found
plenty of nothing.
Why would Colonel Andrews
be in touch with the F.B.I.?
And why would he keep
a gun in his desk?
And why should somebody
want to kill him?
This is where
we came in.
I still think there's
something around here...
Uh-oh. What's this?
Look!
Jane, look at this.
Why, it's from the
America on the Air program.
If that isn't code, then
I'm a flop as a detective.
And look at this. "ColonelJ.R.
Andrews, distinguished service,
U.S. Cryptograph Bureau,
1917." Cryptograph Bureau...
That means the colonel
was an expert at code.
Sure. He caught a lot
of spies in the last war.
Now it all goes together.
Jane, this America on the Air broadcast goes
all over the world shortwave, doesn't it?
Yes, but I don't see what that... You will.
We're going to rebroadcast
"Murder at Midnight" tonight.
We're going to tell the whole radio
world who killed Colonel Andrews.
But we don't know. We will
before the broadcast is over.
How's your shorthand?
A little rusty.
Well, grease it up and let's get
going. We've got a lot of work to do.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Flying Bordellos,
you're on.
Get out there!
Aw, you shut up!
You get out...
Hey, wait a minute!
Come on.!
- You can't go out there.
Hey!
Oh!
All right, come on.
Come on.
Drop him!
Drop him!
Brannigan! Up here!
Brannigan!
Spread out, boys.
We'll find him.
Brannigan.!
Up here! Hey, Chief, what
are you doing up there?
Never mind! Get me down out of here! Huh?
- Release that rope!
- Oh! Yeah, sure.
No, no.
Not that one.
Yeah, that's it.
- Thanks, Brannigan.
I sure appreciate...
Serves you right. Why don't
you watch what you're doing?
Boom!
All right, go ahead.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Wait a minute, Loot.
There's the little guy now.
I'll fix him.
Tough luck, Loot.
You missed him.
I'll get him, though.
Come here!
Go ahead!
Come on, men.!
Maybe we can head them off!
Whoo! Whoo!
Get over there!
Which way did they go,
Loot? They went your way.
You must have passed them.
We're lost again, Loot.
You're always lost! Come on! Come on, boys.
There they go.
Come on!
- Chick! Where'd you go? Chick!
- Mervyn!
Mervyn, in the truck.!
Aah!
Truck.!
Truck? Okay.
Not that way. Come here.! This truck here.
Come on, hurry up! Wait a minute! I'm in!
Around it goes,
the giant wheel of fortune,
and when it stops, somebody
will be $10,000 richer.
And now...
And now, it stops!
The winner is decided, ladies and
gentlemen, the winner of the grand prize!
And here it is,
the grand prize winner.!
A resident of this city
wins the $ 10,000.!
Mr. Mervyn Q. Milgrim!
How do you like that? Some
jerk named Mervyn Milgrim. Hey!
That's you! That's you! Couldn't have...
Mr. Milgrim must
contact this studio...
by phone or in person
within five minutes.
- And the telephone number is Alexander 2222.
- Go! You got five minutes!
A fortune of $ 10,000
awaits...
the sound of your voice,
Mr. Milgrim.
Call Alexander 2222.
Hey!
Here's a place
where we can telephone.
Come on!
Come on.
You got it?
Operator! Operator!
Operator! Operator!
How do you like that?
What's the matter?
Nobody answers.
You gotta drop a nickel.
Oh, drop a nickel.
Hurry up. Okay. Operator, here goes.
Not there! Here, put the
nickel in the slot up there.
Oh, excuse me. I'm going over here
and figure out how to spend your money.
Okay. Operator!
The line is busy.
It's busy? I didn't even
ask you for the number yet.
Number, please.
Let me have Alexander 2222.
The line is busy.
The line is busy.
Give me a bicarbonate of soda,
will you, please. Yes, sir.
Operator,
give me long distance.
Long distance? I want to talk to the
Consolidated Coffee Company of Brazil.
Hello, Brazil? Oh, is this
you, Joe? Hi. This is Bill.
How's the coffee business?
Oh, just a grind, eh?
Yeah, I know. Well, I'll
call you later. So long.
Terrible service.
Look, Operator, will you get
me Alexander 2222, please?
The line is busy.
Hello, Operator.
Give me long distance.
Long distance? I want to talk
to Dan Magoo in Nome, Alaska.
Hello, Dan! How are you? How's everything?
This is Jake. Yeah. How's
the weather up there?
What?
Twenty below zero?
Say, that's pretty cold,
isn't it?
Weather down here? Just
a minute. I'll find out.
Hey, what's the temperature
around here? I don't know.
I don't live here. Don't
stand there like a dummy!
Go read the thermometer.
All right! All right!
What did the thermometer read?
They Work While You Sleep.
They Work...
Good-bye, Dan.
- Operator, give me Alexander 2222.
- The line is busy.
Did you get the number?
No, I didn't get it.
Why? Every time I talk to that
operator, she says the line is busy.
The line is not busy. Give me a
nickel. How are we gonna get the money?
Get out of my way. Get
out of my way. Hurry up.
Tell them it's Mervyn.
Operator? Give me Alexander 2222.
Hello.! Is this Alexander
2222? You got it? You got it?
Thank you. Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
I told you the line
wasn't busy.
What did you hang up
the receiver for, Chick?
- I mean, you had the number. Operator?
- Number, please?
Oh, you hear me, huh? Operator, will
you please give me that number now.
- Alexander 2222... please!
- The line is busy.
Operator? Operator, I want
you to get me Moscow, Russia.
Thank you. The Conservatory
of Music. Tinchovsky, yes.
Oh, Professor Tinchovsky,
how do you do?
This is your American pupil,
Mrs. Laughingwell.
You know, I learned that new
aria. You want to hear it?
Thank you.
You do?
Oh, thank you so much.!
Oh, good-bye,
good-bye.
Hello! Give me Alexander 2222, please.
Please give it to me. It's only over
here on the other side of the street.
The line is busy.
Number, please.
Alexander 2222!
- I can't hear you.
Alexander 2222!
Louder, please. If I talk any
louder, I won't have to call them!
- They'll hear me!
- I'm sorry, sir, but you are all wet.
Who's all wet?
I'm all wet?
Hold the line!
Hold the line!
I'm all wet, huh?
Come on, come on. We gotta
get across the street.
Hurry up.
Hey, Chick! We gotta get in
that building across the street.
Those cops, why are they hanging
around? Why don't they let me alone?
I won $10,000.
Why won't they let me in?
Now what are we gonna do?
I never did nothing, did I?
I got an idea.
What?
Remember how we used to sneak
into basketball games? Hey.
If those guys get out of the
building, I'll break every one of you.
Leave it to me and the boys,
Loot. Take your positions, men.
Only one minute left. Are
you hurrying, Mervyn Milgrim?
Where are you guys
going? We're walking out.
Whoo!
Next car.
Oh, excuse me.
Come on!
Five seconds to go.
Four seconds.
Three, two...
Hey.!
Whoo-hoo!
What are you doing?
I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't
mean it. Mr. Milgrim?
Yeah. You have some
means of identification?
Oh, sure. Tell him who I am. Oh, he's him.
I'm him. How do you spell Milgrim?
That's a hard one, huh? Give
me an easy one. Never mind.
Make it Mervyn. How do you spell Mervyn?
Never mind. I'll take the two-dollar
question and let it go at that.
Wait a minute. Look around your
clothes. You must have a card someplace.
Cards? Sure. Oh, to tell
who I am? That's right.
Any means of identification.
Don't say nothing, though.
I belong to the Campfire
Girls, Troop number 34.
Here's my card. That'll
do. That's proof enough.
Okay. Here's our check
for $10,000, Mr. Milgrim.
Come on, stop.
We're the police.
Please accept this beautiful
play-it-anywhere radio...
so you'll never miss our
broadcast. This is for me?
Oh, boy! What a beautiful
radio... and it's for me! Mine.
Wait a minute. We're
partners, you know. Oh, yeah.
We've been partners a
long time. That's right,
and we always split 50-50. He's right.
We always split everything 50-50. Come on.
Yeah. Well, here.
You take the check. I'll keep
the radio. Beautiful, too.
What's the fella's name
on third base?
But What's on second.
Who's on second?
Who's on first.
I don't know.
He's on third.
There I go, back... Oh,
no, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Every time you hear
those two guys...
"Who's on first,
What's on second... "
And that little fat guy, he kills
me. No good. Come on, let's go.
Well! Looks like
we all hit the jackpot.
- Does it play in jail?
- Anywhere.
Anywhere. Yes, and that's
where you're gonna play it.
Wait a minute, copper. Will you just
let me say one word over the radio?
All right, go ahead.
Thank you.
Help.!
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Yes, at 12:00, and everyone's to be there.
Yes, everyone.
Well, it's all set, Jimmy. Great.
Oh, but suppose it doesn't
work? Now, don't you worry.
That's all very pretty but we got
a date downtown, if you don't mind.
Looks like they're going to have to
make a bench out of the electric chair.
But we figured out a way for
you to catch the real criminal.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Now, here's the
idea. At exactly midnight tonight,
everybody that might possibly
be guilty will be in Studio "C."
We put on the air this broadcast that
we've written, and before it's over...
You've got him. You've been reading
too many of your own radio scripts.
What can you lose? It might
break the whole case for you.
Yeah, and it might break me
too. Sounds like phony baloney.
That's putting it mild. Come
on, folks. You come with me.
All right, all right.
Brannigan, you take the blimp.
Come on, blimp.
Get your hands off me.
I'll-I'll give you
a smash, I will.
Don't call me blimp.
Oh? Why not?
What makes a blimp go up? Hot air.
What's holding you down?
Come on!
Get-Get... Get out of here. Excuse me.
You are standing in the spot
in which I desire to trespass.
Oh.
Thank you.
Hey!
Hey, usher, what time's the next
feature go on? Aw, you, come on.
I've had enough
trouble with you.
I'm gonna put the cuffs on you. Cuffs?
Yeah, handcuffs. What do you do with them?
Go around the wrist,
like that.
You're gonna put one on that
wrist over here? Certainly.
I've got this hand free
if you do that, don't I?
I could hit you with this
hand. That's not good.
What, do you think I'm a dope? I
put them on both hands, like that.
Oh, you put them on both wrists? Certainly.
Over here?
Right around tight.
If you did that to me, you know
what I'd do? I'd say, "Hey, boy.
Pick up something for me. " As soon
as you bend down to pick up something,
I'd hit you on the head, and that
would hurt you, because that's iron.
Aw, I'm not a dope. I put them behind
your back, like that... that, see?
Oh, like this?
Tight.
Oh, wait. I'll lock that, see, and then
I want you to show me what you mean.
All right, go ahead,
lock it tight, see?
Now that's... Now what
happens? Can't do a thing.
You can't?
Not a thing.
You mean your hands are like
this, and you can't get out?
Positive. Can't do a thing. Yeah?
Yeah. Then that's a tough
way to get anybody, isn't it?
Yeah. All right, now take
the key out of my pocket.
Huh?
The side pocket over here.
You got a key in here?
Key, yeah. Unlock the cuffs.
Can't you get it? How can I get it
with my hands handcuffed behind my back?
Get the key! You mean can't
take your hand and get it?
Certainly not.
Well, come on, what are you...
Come on, get the key.
That's it. Key.
That's the key, all right.
That's the key. Get it out.
You can't get out unless you get
the key? What are you waiting for?
Get the...
Shut up!
I had enough of this
trouble with you, brother.
What do you think you are,
smart guy or something?
Look...
Don't talk to me.
If I do that long enough,
that'll drive you crazy, brother.
That's what they call
French Prosecution.
That stuff
like that there.
I've had enough
of you, brother.
Told you I could
lick you, didn't I?
What do you got, help?
Who's here?
Don't you pull
no knife on me, brother.
Come on, wise guy, where's
your gun? Give me that gun.
Hand me that gun and keep your hands there.
You're talking
to Black Mervyn.
That's me...
Black Horse Mervyn.
Watch me hit
that statue.
What's the matter
with you?
Get your hands down!
The gun.!
Get your hands down.! The gun, the
other way! No, the gun the other way!
Get them down. Come on, come on, come on.
Get out of here. You too. I'm with you.
Oh, you're on my side. Get
out! Come on, all of youse!
Come here, you. Put it
down there. Take care ofhim.
You watch the feature.
See how you like it.
Come on, you. I'm not
nervous. You heard him.
Oh, it's you. What did you do to my Romeo?
You mean what did your
Romeo do to me. Look!
Well, he's got more nerve
than I thought he had.
There's a key in my pocket.
Unfasten those handcuffs.
Unfa...
Why should I?
Don't argue with me.
Just get the cuffs open.
If I unfasten the handcuffs, will you
let Mervyn go? Sure, sure. Anything.
Just unfasten the cuffs.
Okay.
That's the two of them
I've got tied up. Yeah.
Well, you kids can go now. Maybe this
gives us a chance to put on that broadcast.
Say, maybe it does,
at that.
There you are. Now don't
forget, you promised.
Don't worry.
And he'll be so embarrassed he'll
be forced to let us broadcast.
They won't only be
embarrassed,
but they'll be sheepish
about the whole thing.
Mr. Turner, you can let that guy
out any time he wants to get out.
All right. This guy in here belongs to me.
What do you mean? What a
dope.! Come here, Chick.
Come here. This guy is the
dumbest detective I ever saw.
He's dumber than me.
Look out for him.
No, I got him handcuffed.
You've got him handcuffed?
He can't do a thing. Come on, get
up. Look out now, I'm warning you.
Don't be afraid.
Hello, kid.
Look out. Look out.
Not yourself.
I'm hitting myself.
Well.
Want to take a whack at him?
Go ahead. Now we're talking.
What's the matter?
Did you see anything?
Certainly not.
Go on! There must be
spots in front of my eyes.
There's only one way to handle
those guys. Give it to him!
What's the matter?
What are you afraid of?
You go over now.
Are you sure he's
handcuffed? He's handcuffed.
All right, well,
don't push!
What's the idea of treating
my buddy like that, huh?
Hey, get over there.
That's all I wanted to know.
Give it to him. Get in there. Get in there.
What's the matter?
Go on, give it to him!
What's the...
Uh-oh.
What's the matter, Chick?
What are you running for?
I guess he can't stand
to see me punish you.
Do you know what I'm gonna do
to you? What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna run
like the devil!
Now I've really got you!
Get your hands off me.
You ain't gonna do
nothing to me...
not unless you want to be
embarrassed. Embarrassed? About what?
Just a minute, Inspector. You don't
want any of this to get out, do you?
- What? Let what out?
- They locked you in a closet and handcuffed him...
with his own handcuffs.
Do you want to let them
broadcast or not, Officer?
Get your hands off me!
On second thought, maybe you'd
better not let us broadcast.
Go on, take us down. Go on, take
me down to police headquarters,
and be the laughingstock
of all the cops.
And you take
the "quinsequonces. "
All right, we'll broadcast, but
something better come of this.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the hour is midnight.
We bring you perhaps the most startling
broadcast in the annals of radio.
We introduce you to murder!
Within the last five hours,
two men have died...
more specifically, they have been
murdered, ladies and gentlemen,
and their killer is here
at this very moment,
sitting in this darkened studio
with a dozen others,
who are unaware ofhis...
or her... identity.
Did you ever meet a murderer,
my friends?
You will tonight, for tonight
we present the story...
behind the story
of Colonel J.R. Andrews...
head of this broadcasting
chain... and Dr. Anton Marek,
Czechoslovakian patriot, who
died because they knew too much.
- I like to tune it in
on the radio.
Shh. Listen to it here. Okay.
The time, one week ago. The place,
a conference room in Washington.
Colonel Andrews, as an officer of the
United States military intelligence...
in the first world war, you
did remarkable work in decoding.
We need your
able services again.
You know I'll do anything
I can for my country.
Good. Colonel, someone is communicating
the position of our transports...
and merchant ships
to a foreign power.
We think they're using the regular
programs of the broadcasting system.
In that case, sir, we'll
have to move extremely fast!
Time, one week later.
The place, the colonel's office.
Present are Colonel Andrews
and his good friend, Dr. Marek.
Dr. Marek, did you notice
anything strange...
about the program
this morning?
No. I'd be willing to
bet those announcements...
contained code messages.
Miss Collins? Yes, Colonel Andrews?
Have a record of the America
on the Air broadcast...
sent here immediately.
Coded broadcasts?
Ingenious!
Ingenious and deadly.
I'll need your help,
Dr. Marek.
You're much more
of a linguist than I am,
and I'm sure a foreign
language is being used.
I'm at your service, Colonel,
until the victory is won.
From that moment, the fate of Colonel
Andrews and Dr. Marek was sealed...
because the spy knew
the colonel was on his trail.
He knew that within 24 hours the
finger of guilt would point to him,
and only him. But there was one
tangible piece of evidence...
that could be used
against the murderer...
the record of last week's
broadcast.
The murderer returned
to the Colonel's office...
to destroy the only thing that stood
between him and complete freedom.
In the darkened shadows of that
office are two men. There is a scuffle.
What are you doing?
I can't get nothing.
You've got to plug it in first. Oh!
The murderer escapes,
but he makes one fatal mistake.
He leaves behind him a
telltale piece of evidence,
as certain to convict him
as his own fingerprints.
And that man is... No, it's
a lie! I didn't... I didn't...
You're a murderer! You did
it! There's the murderer!
- That's our man, Loot!
- Go get him!
Come on! Here he is! Come on, boys!
Ladies and gentlemen, you've
been listening to a reenactment...
of the events leading up to the killing
of Dr. Marek and Colonel Andrews.
No, you don't!
Come here!
No, you don't!
No, you don't!
I got him!
I got the murderer!
I got him!
Nice work.
With my own hands.
I captured him all by myself. You got him?
Yup. Aw... Come on!
What's the... What's the idea? Whoo!
Get out.
Get over there.
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Boy, am I tired.
Tired? Then what are we
running up to the roof for?
We know who the murderer
is, don't we? Why, certainly.
Where does a murderer
usually hide? In the cellar.
See? Come on.
Oh, boy. What...
Now we're safe.
Yes, but don't lose that key,
or we'll spend the rest
of our lives up here.
Your lives may be very short
if you don't hand over that key.
What are you doing up here? You're
supposed to be in the cellar.
I said give me that key.
Run! Run, Mervyn!
Come on, Mervyn!
Whoo!
Whoo. Whoo!
Whee!
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
What an idea!
Whee!
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
Boy, oh, boy.
I made it. I made it I did
it again. What are you doing?
Look out, Chick. Look out. Look out!
I'll hit your nose off. The "S" is
for you. What's the matter with you?
Watch this. What? What is this for?
The "P" over here is for me,
on the end here.
Watch me get it on the next
trip around. What are you...
There you are...
"Send Help. "
Marvelous.!
Nothing can help you now.
What are you saying
that for? It was my idea.
Uh-oh. That's got nothing to do...
No. No. I wasn't doing
anything. Now, wait a minute.
I was just showing...
Come on, Mervyn!
Come on, Mervyn!
Whoo-ooh!
Whoo! Whoo!
Put them up!
That's a fancy step, ain't it? Put them up!
See the way I did it?
So I'm stupid?
You're a dummy!
- I ain't got no gun.
- Are you sure of that?
- Uh-huh. - That's
all I wanted to know.
Hey, Chick!
Chick!
Chick.!
What am I gonna do?
Uh, walk across that wire.
Yes.! Walk right across
it. I'll help you up here.
Go ahead!
Whoo-ooh!
Whoo-ooh!
All right, hold it, Mervyn.
Mervyn, over this way!
Give me
your hand.!
Get up on your feet, walk over
here, and I'll give you a hand.
Come on.!
You remember how you used to
walk the crack in the sidewalk.
Stay on it.!
That's it.
You remember.
When you were a kid, how
you used to walk the wire.
Come on. That's it. Stay
on it. Pick your feet up.!
What are you stepping on
your feet for? That's the boy.
Don't get excited.
Whoo! Whoo!
At this time we test
our new super transmitter,
carrying 200,000 watts
of power,
beaming a special program
to Melbourne, Australia.
Hello, Melbourne.
Chick!
What's cooking?
Stand still.
Let us in there.!
Come on over here. Don't touch those wires!
Give me your hand.
Let us in here.! All
right, men, break it down.!
Hurry up. Keep coming. Give
it to me. Attaboy. Okay.
You're all right now.
Come on.
Hold on!
Hold on!
Chick!
I got the murderer!
Help, somebody! I got him!
I got him.! Help, somebody.! I got him.!
I got him!
Here he is!
I caught him
all by myself.
Nice work, shorty.
Take him away, boys.
Say, if I can ever do anything
for you, let me know.
Do you mean that?
Yeah.
Could you make me
a Junior G-Man?
Well, if you promise
to eat your spinach.
I promise.
Oh, boy! Juliet! Gee, Mervyn!
You were brave up there
on those wires.
Now, wait a minute. I
want a little credit too.
Don't forget, I scared him when I
threw these electric light bulbs.
Mervyn, 200,000 volts of
electricity passed through your body.
Passed through my body? If it
did, it never said nothing to me.
Didn't it hurt you? Hurt
me? It didn't even phase me.
And this guy's bragging about
a little electric light bulb.
A little thing like this
can't do a...
What's the matter?
Screw it out! Get it out!
Get it out of me!
Oh!
Oh, boy, Chick. Thanks a
million, boy. Okay, pal.
Help! Help!
What's...
Give me that.
Oh! What...
Doctor? I don't like it.
You have to watch
that heart of yours.
What are you trying to do, scare me?
Colonel, you are working too hard.
Well, if you've got to go, you
might as well go in the harness.
You are listening to
America on the Air,
presented from coast to
coast in the United States,
and by shortwave
around the world.
And now, for tonight's odd facts
concerning the commerce of this hemisphere.
In a single year, the amount of coffee
imported into the United States...
would be sufficient to form
a tower 8,264 feet in height,
with a base diameter
of 20 feet by...
Very interesting,
that announcement.
Very. But you are not certain yet.
Not yet, Doctor. Not until
I find out what these mean.
But as soon as I do...
You sent for me, Colonel? Yes, Miss Little.
Send Heller
in here, please.
Will I see you tonight at the
broadcast, Doctor? I'll be there.
Colonel Andrews, for ten weeks I've
been writing Murder at Midnight,
one of your best shows... The
Crossley rating doesn't agree, Heller.
That's why I took
you off that program.
Is that why you took me
off three other big shows?
Or is it because Miss Little, your
producer, doesn't appreciate my writing?
Now, just a minute... I make
the decisions here, Heller.
I've decided that your
murders have no ingenuity.
I could take care of that. The way I
feel right now, I could devise a murder...
that would baffle
even Sherlock Holmes.
Maybe I can use that
on my present assignment:
The Romance
of Rita and Rob.
A soap opera.
Yes? Send him in.
Mr. Turner's waiting, Colonel.
You're on, Mr. Turner. Thanks.
So, you're the new staff writer
for Murder at Midnight.
That's what it says in the
contract. Congratulations.
I wrote that program for
some time. Oh, really?
Oh, I'm sorry. I hope I
didn't take... Oh, forget it.
One man's loss is another man's
gain. Lots of good luck to you.
Thanks.
Colonel Andrews?
Yes.
It's nice to see you,
Mr. Turner.
You certainly don't look quite like what
I expected after reading your scripts.
I'm afraid all college professors
are a little disappointing.
Not when they bring
new ideas to radio.
That's why I'm as enthusiastic
about your work as your producer.
Well, I guess I'll have
to thank both you and him.
Not him. Her.
Jane!
Hello, Jimmy.
So you're the producer
of Murder at Midnight.!
Am I confused.
It serves you right.
If you'd write me a letter once in
a while, you'd find those things out.
If I'd write to you? What
about you writing to me?
Here we go again. It's
certainly one on me, Colonel.
Here I spend the best years of my life
advising this young lady against a career,
and I wind up
by working for her.
Yes.
Wait a minute.
Are you responsible
for getting me this job?
Of course not.
I...
All I did was ask
Colonel Andrews...
Is it her fault that I
considered your script the best...
of the hundreds I had to wade
through? So that's the way it is.
Well, I appreciate
this little conspiracy.
I'd like to thank you both. But I'd teach
school for the rest of my natural life...
rather than take
a handout from a woman.
Why don't you come up
to the broadcast tonight?
Please do, Jimmy. We're doing
the last of the current series,
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
I'll hear the broadcast all right...
on a train, headed due north.
Mr. Turner.!
Must I remind you that I have
a contract for your services,
and I intend
to exercise it?
You'll get plenty of exercise
trying to find me.
May I ask you a question,
Colonel? Certainly.
What did I ever see in that stubborn,
irresponsible, aggravating...
lovable Irishman?
Want to cry on my shoulder?
No, I want to cry on his.
One Limburger cheese
sandwich, please. Excuse me.
- One Limburger cheese sandwich.
- One Limburger cheese, coming up! Right!
Limburger cheese.
What are
you doing in there?
Come on. Come on.
Snap out of it.
Hey, Chick. Tell the guy we got
some nice ham sandwiches here. What?
- The man don't want a ham sandwich.
- Oh.
Look, Chick,
we got some lovely roast beef.
Never mind the roast beef. Get
in with that Limburger cheese.
If you think I'm gonna get in here
with the Limburger, you're cr-razy!
Come on. Come on.
Slice one up.
Will you bring
that cheese in here?
Will you
make it snappy?
- How about an egg salad?
- Look, the man don't want an egg salad.
He wants cheese.
Hey, what happened
to my sandwich?
What's holding up that Limburger
cheese? Be right up. Comin'up.
There we are, si...
Eww.
What are you doing?
Look out, look out.
Stop. Stop. Ahh...
Will you stop this
nonsense and get to work?
Okay. Hey, brother. Take that
someplace else and eat it, will ya?
How long do I have to wait?
I ordered a strawberry sundae.
You did? What day is it today? Friday.
You got two more days to wait. Hey,
chubby. How much is a glass of orange juice?
Fifteen cents.
Too much money.
Not the way I make it.
I bet you a nickel...
I can drink it faster
than you can make it.
You bet me a nickel you can drink
it faster than I can make it? Yeah.
You're on.
Let's go, shorty.
Here.
Think you can beat me?
Okay, okay. Come on. Come on.
Take your time. Take your
time. Come on. Come on.
All right.
All right.
I'm ahead of you now.
Aah!
I'm one up on you.
I think I'm gonna
beat ya, shorty.
You win. There's your nickel.
You mean I beat you?
Ain't that a shame... a little kid
like that trying to outsmart me.
Sorry!
Y-Yo...
Hello, Mr. Turner.
Oh, hello.
Oh, by the way, Miss Little
asked me to tell ya that she...
Sorry. I never heard
of the lady.
Oh, hello, Miss Collins.
Oh, hello.
Oh, boys. You want to take extra
special care of Miss Collins here.
You may want to get on the air someday,
and she's secretary to Colonel Andrews.
Not Colonel Andrews, the head
of whole networks? That's right.
- Well, you leave her to us.
- I'll take a chocolate malted.
Chocolate malted?
What flavor?
Aw, you heard what she
said. Come on. Hey, boy.
This is our golden opportunity.
That's what you think.
Listen to me. You've got to
make a play for this girl.
She's Andrews' secretary.
Chances are if she likes you,
she'll introduce us to Colonel Andrews
and he'll buy our radio program.
Yeah? But Chick... Sure. What?
She ain't pretty. What's
that got to do with it?
It's got a lot to do
with it. Oh, you're crazy.
I've seen better heads on
malted milks. Here, here. Please.
Be careful with your
remarks. Get me a glass.
Go ahead, mix...
Contact!
Look, Mr. Turner, it's none of my
business, but Miss Little feels bad...
Let's forget the whole thing, shall we?
Stop it!
Off contact!
That's it. Now go ahead. Okay.
Now, get over there and start
pitching. But she don't appeal to me.
So what? You kiss her in
the dark. Okay. Good luck!
Drink hearty... What are you
doin'? Get over there. Go ahead.
I'm sorry you feel
that way about it.
Here's your malted,
beautiful.
Me?
Yes, you.
After all, he told me
that I gotta... Shh. Quiet.
- You are very cute.
- May I have a straw, please?
Help yourself, madam.
Thanks. Help yourself.
Anything at all. Say, do you
think that Colonel Andrews...
could use a couple
of crackerjack radio writers?
There's a swell job upstairs,
writing the Murder at Midnight show.
I just tossed it away.
Hey, that's just for us.
- Aren't you two soda jerks?
- Oh, no. We just took this job yesterday.
- Yeah. We don't even know what
we put in your malted milk.
We're only here to be close to
the radio producers. That's all.
We write our own radio mysteries. Sure.
We play the detectives,
and we solve the mysteries.
Would you like to hear our
latest yarn? Huh? Sure you would.
Come on. Let's read it
for her. Give it to us.
Here. I got a mike in my hand. Get a mike.
It's a prison mystery entitled, "The
Midget Gets the Chair," or, "Small Fry. "
"It's a dark and stormy night.
Rain is falling.
All you can see in the street
is muck and mire. "
Yeah. I'm Muck. I'm Meyer.
Hiya, Meyer. Pretty good. We're
the detectives. Hiya, Muck.
Yeah.
Don't clear your throat! Sorry.
"Suddenly, the radio says...
"Midget Mullins made a prison break before
the warden could get him into the chair.
So we sne-e-eak around to where his
girl lives... " Read that faster.
Don't read so slow. You're
scarin' me. All right, never mind.
Don't say, "They sne-e-eak.
" Say, "They sneaked around. "
All right. Go ahead. "He was
in love with his gun mole... "
Moll. Moll!
Mole.
M-o-o-o... Excuse me.
Pay no attention to him.
All right. All right. "... moll.
"I smashed down the door.
"Crash! Crash! Bang, bang, bang!
Shh. "Boom! Crick, crack, crick, crack.
- "And the door goes to the floor.
- That's right.
"And I pull out my gun and
I aim at him. Bang! Ouch!
- Bang, ouch! Bang, ouch!"
- If you're shooting him, why are you yelling ouch?
- I'm holding the gun backwards.
- If that's a radio script, I'll take vanilla!
Yes, ma'am. "And the moral
is, 'Crime doesn't pay. "'
And neither did she.
Oh, don't mind her, boys.
I think it's a swell script. Do you really?
Okay.
Excuse me, mister.
You bein' a good radio writer, maybe you
could help Chick and I get into radio.
If you would, we would sure
"depreciate" it. Would you?
Yes. Say, how about a
little sugar for my coffee?
Sugar? How many lumps? Three.
Three.
Turn around. Don't look.
Turn around. Don't look.
Yes, sir. What can I do for
you? Give me an egg sandwich.
An egg sandwich.
One egg sandwich. Eggs.
Hey, Chick!
Throw me a egg!
Hiya, Charlie!
Tickets, please.
Ah, you know me, Charlie.
These are my friends.
Yeah, I know you,
you little chiseler.
Step aside if you
haven't got tickets.
Oh, wait a minute, Charlie...
Step over there, please.
Never mind, girls.
I'll think up an angle.
Here comes one now.
A nice, fat one.
Well, see you later, boys.
Here it is. Murder at Midnight.
Hello, chubby. It was
a nice day until now...
till you come along. Aw,
what's the matter, chubby?
Whoo! You-You always make me do...
Go 'way! You got tickets for the broadcast?
For Murder at Midnight. Oh,
those are for last night.
Oh, no, no. They're for
tonight. Murder at Midnight.
No, last night. Look at 'em!
You mean they're no good tonight?
No. These are for last night?
Yeah.
Hey, Chick,
we can't go last night,
can we? Certainly not.
That's that.
They're no good.
You know, I thought that
Mr. Turner was a regular guy.
- He turns around and he gives us...
- Hey, look.
Here you are, Charlie. Okay,
girls, everything's under control.
Come here. Hey, Chick. Here's a
little kid right over... Chick? Chick.
Aw, keep quiet. You've
made us miss the show.
Not me, him. Three times today
you put it over on me, kid.
What are you doin' it to me
for? You a ruffian or something?
If you was a little bit
smaller, I'd take a punch at you.
Ah, gee, you make me feel like
a heel. Well, you are a heel.
I'll pay you for the
tickets. Oh, you want to pay?
You got any change? Sure, I
got some change right in here.
I'm sorry I made you feel like a heel,
but as long as you want to pay for 'em...
Here, give me two dimes for a
nickel. Two dimes for a nickel.
Right, right, right.
There you are.
Come on, come on! Are you
trying to pull another fast one?
What is this
"two dimes for a nickel"?
Come on!
Anything wrong?
Plenty's wrong! Fifteen
cents just went south.
Okay, here's your nickel.
Give me back my two dimes.
Okay. Don't try to rush
me anymore like that.
Chick. Chick.!
What are you doing?
I don't know, but whatever
I'm doing I'm doing wrong.
That little kid... Oh, don't
blame everything on the kid.
I mean, he's slippin' over a lot
of fast ones. What do you mean?
He just put me... He just... Hmm. What?
Hey, Chick. Here's two
dimes. Give me a nickel.
Well, certainly.
Fast.
A good one, huh?
What are you laughing
at? He did it to me...
Yes?
And you did it to me, too.
Oh, what's wrong with you?
Harry, is that Colonel
Andrews' mike? Yes, it is.
You haven't seen the Colonel,
have you? Don't worry about him.
He'll be here.
Hello. So, you didn't take the train north.
No, I missed it. Sure you
didn't change your mind?
It's not altogether a woman's prerogative,
you know. Anyway, I'm glad you came.
Hey, there's the girl you've
got to make love to. No, Chick.
I'm not gonna make love to her.
She's only got a couple of buck teeth.
What do I care what she paid
for 'em? She don't appeal to me.
Go on, do your stuff,
Romeo. Wait a minute, Chick.
Mervyn's my name,
not Romeo!
To her, it's gotta be Romeo. I
just found out her name is Juliet.
Turn on the charm.
The charm?
Here she comes.
Go ahead.
Hello!
Well, hello. I think the charm is working.
Juliet, I'm gonna be
your Romeo.
My Romeo? Well, I like my
Romeos king-sized, but...
Do you want me
to be yourJuliet?
If you do, I'll give up
every other girl I ever knew.
- I'll give 'em all up for you.
- All right, you can buy me an ice cream soda after the show.
I've got to go now.
Hey!
How did you make out?
More chills and shudders. Oh, thank you.
What are you doing here,
Juliet?
You don't like
murder mystery.
What do you mean, I don't like
murder mysteries? I thrive on 'em.
They give my goose pimples
goose pimples.
Hey, come on. We can
get in this way. Come on.
I didn't know
it was glass there.
Hello, Mr. Turner.
Hi. Hi.
Hello, Mr. Turner.
How are you?
- Is that your girl?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah? Boy, is she pretty! Whoo!
Ooh!
Shh.
Sorry, gentlemen.
Not a very good example to set.
I was detained.
Government business.
Very serious, Jane.
Take that mike, Colonel.
Murder.
Murder at Midnight.
Tonight, we bring you
the thirteenth...
Murder at Midnight.
The forces of evil
stand at the threshold.
The time is short.
Two men
shall die this night.
Two men shall die in this,
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
Ladies and gentlemen,
before the play begins,
it is our privilege to bring you
a message of vital importance...
to every American.
May I present the executive director
of the General Broadcasting System,
ColonelJ.R. Andrews.
- Stand by, orchestra.
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to circumstances beyond our control,
this program has been interrupted.
You will be entertained
by a musical interlude...
until Murder at Midnight
can be resumed.
The ushers will escort
the audience to Studio "D."
He's dead. It must have been his heart.
I examined him
this morning.
I told him...
It was not his heart!
- This is murder.
- Murder!
- Murder.
Murder!
Murder.
Let's get out of here.
What are you slamming
the door for?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Who are you calling? Call
the cops. Call the cops.
No, I don't want to call the
cops. Call the cops. Call the cops.
Wait a minute. Quiet. Call
the cops. Call somebody.
Don't get excited.
We don't want the cops.
We want to solve
this mystery ourselves.
I don't want to be connected with any
murder, Chick. Don't you understand?
If we solve this case
ourselves, we'll become famous.
The public will be begging
for Muck and Meyer.
Yeah, and if they get us, we'll do
plenty of beggin' too. No, certainly not.
This will be the only radio program in
the world produced by two real detectives.
Yeah? Our names will go up
in lights. Great big lights!
Can't you see them? Picture
them: I can see them.
"Chick Larkin
and Mervyn Milgrim. "
"Now playing Alcatraz. "
Aw, nothing of the kind.
Let's go inside before rigor mortis
sets in. Wait a minute. Rigor mortis?
Yes. Oh, come on. Is he
on this murder case, too?
Wait a minute.
Don't anyone move.
Homicide squad.
Come on. Get on your feet.
Didn't know it was so small.
Where's the butler? What kind of
murder is this without a butler?
No butler
to ask questions to.
Who are you? Aah, what
are you talkin' about?
How'd you get here so
quickly? I just phoned.
Why wasn't this murder
reported yesterday?
It didn't happen. Why wait till the
last minute? Put it down. Take a note.
Right. Where's the victim? Over there.
Tell him to walk over here. We want
to question him. The man's dead!
Dead or alive,
he's gotta have an alibi.
Come here. What's your
name? That's a lie! I'm...
- Make a note of that.
- It's in the book.
I'm gettin' silly things from
this guy. He ain't answerin' me.
Well, grill 'im! Grill 'im. Hah?
I'm not hungry. Put that in the
book, too. Wait a minute, you.
Did you ever have the electric chair? No.
You're gonna get the electric
chair, and two years besides.
Did you ever have the chair before? No.
Never had it, uh? Ever
have a hotfoot? Yeah.
Same thing.
Different location.
Come on, speedy. Let's get
out of here. Put him away.
Hey, you. What do you know
about this mur...
It's Mr. Turner. Hello,
Mr. Turner. How are you?
What are you two fellows
doing here?
Look, we thought
maybe if we could solve...
this murder mystery here,
they'd put us on the rodeo.
Radio. Radi... Radio.
Better be careful. You're liable
to get into a lot of trouble.
Don't give us away. Don't turn
us in, huh? Don't tell on us.
All right, Sergeant. If you want to
solve this case, come right over here.
Okay, Sergeant. You're
with... He means you.
Me? Oh. Promoted me. Sergeant!
Come on, Private. Wait for the
sergeant. All right, go ahead.
This is the chair the colonel was
killed in. That chair killed Andrews?
That's right. Sit down. Try it out.
Right. No! You'll notice this
chair is practically all metal,
and you'll also notice a wire
attached to the leg of the chair.
The other end of the wire is
plugged into the control room.
- That would connect with the main power line, wouldn't it?
- Yes, it would.
Very ingenious. That completed the circuit
between the chair and the colonel's microphone.
When the microphone
was turned on...
Ten thousand volts
went through his body.
I beg your pardon?
He got 10,000 volts.
That's enough to elect anybody. He
should be president. Nah, not that kind.
What kind? That's what I
said. He got 10,000. Volts.
You know what "volts" are.
They're what?
That's right. Volts
are watts. What'd I say?
Go ahead and tell me. I asked you to
tell me what I said. You just said it.
What'd I say?
Volts are watts!
Volts are what? I'm
asking you, what's volts?
That's right. Don't try to twist me
now. Are you talking with a dialect?
Watts, watts, watts!
What's, what's, what's what?
Volts.
What's volts?
That's right. Well, that's
it! Well, go ahead and tell me.
What are volts? I'm
askin' ya! That's right.
Watts are volts. That's right. What?
Next thing you know, you'll be
tellin' me What's on second base!
Now, don't start that...
That's enough! I quit!
Wait a minute. What are you doing? Whoo!
Why don't they mark a dead-end
street here? Put a sign or something.
Evidence. Wait a minute. Give me that,
there. After all, that's evidence.
I'm still on the case. I'm still
a sergeant. What was you gonna say?
When the colonel pressed this
little button... Don't go no further.
I got it. I think I got
the whole case solved.
Everybody, watch me.
What is it?
When you press that button, the
juice goes through this here wire,
right into your body...
and kills him!
Now, everybody,
watch the reaction!
See what it does to me!
Push the button.
What am I sayin'? No! What are you doing?
Take it off. Take it off.
Take it off. Take it off!
Take it off. You would push
the button, wouldn't ya?
Sure. You would push
the button, wouldn't ya?
Wait a minute. Don't hold
me back. Don't hold me back.
Let me go. Where were you on the night
ofJanuary 16th? Come on. Get out of here.
Ah-ha-ha! This is an
open-and-shut case.
Whoever had access
to that control room is guilty.
That's no help. We all had access
to it. Every one of us here.
Except Dr. Marek, of course. What
do you mean, except Dr. Marek?
This studio wasn't in use for
two hours before the broadcast.
What was to prevent him from coming
in here and wiring up that chair?
Inspector, I found this just outside
the control room door. Oh, a clue.
Hey, that is a clue.
Gotta be a clue.
The murderer must have used that
glove to handle the high-tension wires.
If we find the hand that fits
that glove, we've got the murderer.
And it fits me perfect.
I'm...
Take it off, take it off, take
it off. I'm not the murderer.
Just want to try it on,
that's all. Take it off!
Just want... There's
the glo... Take it off!
All right, get that glove. Go
get that glove. Get the glove.
Get that glove.
Get it?
Put it in your pocket
and keep it there. Okay.
Now, listen. We've got all the
doors guarded, so don't try to leave.
Look here, Inspector,
I've got...
Sit down!
Yes, sir.
Not you. You come with me. Okay. Not you.
You know, Chick, I got the funniest
feeling that something's gonna happen.
All right, all right.
It did happen, didn't it?
Never mind.
Okay, okay.
Pull no knives on me, brother. Come on!
Come on. Get down, get down. Okay. Down.
What are you guys
trying to get away with?
We're going to solve this murder.
Can I speak to you privately?
Is this something to do
with the murder? Yeah.
What is it? Go ahead. Talk. I
saw everything that happened,
and well, I ain't a stool pigeon, but...
for half a buck
I'll squeal.
You'll squeal for half a buck? Yeah.
Okay. Here's your half a buck. Now, squeal.
Well, never mind
that kid.
We've got to find out who
murdered Colonel Andrews.
Maybe he was murdered by some of
his enemies. He had no enemies.
Then he was murdered by some of
his friends. He had no friends!
Then he was murdered by strangers.
He must have had strangers.
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
What are you doing?
Come here. Come here.
What's the matter?
What happened?
A fine time for a murder. I was gonna stay
home tonight, win the Wheel of Fortune prize.
Where's Studio "C," miss? Right there, sir.
Thank you.
Hey, Inspector!
Run along, son.
You want to know something?
There's a couple of soda jerks
around here playin' detective.
Don't you know it's against the
law to impersonate an officer?
Then how do you get away
with it? Get outta here...
I'm worried about
this whole murder, Chick.
When we questioned all
those people in there? Yeah?
There was one missing: Juliet.
We've got to investigate her.
Oh, notJuliet. I-I got...
I got to make love to her.
Don't tell me you fell for
her. I think I did. Mm-hmm.
You better take a drink. Brace
yourself up. I think that's what I need.
I'm gonna get one, too.
Hey!
What's the matter?
What are you stepping on it so
hard for? That was fast, huh?
Certainly. Just take it easy.
Don't try to break the...
Take it easy?
Take it easy.
See, there you are. Simple? I'm a big dope.
Certainly you are.
Go ahead.
No, no. You've got to keep
your foot on the pedal.
Keep your foot on it.
That's it. Now, take a drink.
Come here. Get over here.
Let me show you what to do.
Now, look. Get over
here. Now, there you are.
Now, go ahead,
take a drink. Go...
What's the matter? Go
ahead. Put it on once more.
Come on, now. Shh! Make
out I don't want to drink.
All right,
you don't want to drink.
Come on.
Not down there, up here.
Shh! Go ahead. Come on.
There it is, up here!
Go ahead!
Atta boy.
Take what you want of it.
Go ahea...
Look, come here.
Put your foot on it.
Go ahead, put your foot
on it. Give me a drink.
What are you
doing it to me for?
Well, gee, you wanted to... Take it easy!
What are you sweatin' about? We been standing
right here. Haven't been doing no running.
You're perspiring all over
the joint. Get out of the way.
Come on. Get your head down there.
You will do it to me, will ya?
Ah-ah-ah!
I don't want no more drinks.
Come on.
Come here.
Now, sit down there. And
behave yourself. Don't push me.
Can't help it if you got it. I'm
gonna look for thatJuliet dame.
You're all innocent, huh?
That wire just naturally
attached itself.
Looks like we're gonna have to grill 'em
one at a time. Now, listen, Brannigan...
Perhaps I can help you.
Go ahead, miss.
Well, for the past few days Colonel
Andrews has been very upset about something.
He was late to the broadcast tonight
because of some serious government business.
Mm-hmm. Only yesterday, he talked
to the F.B.I. in Washington,
over his private wire.
F.B.I., huh? You sound like
one of my scripts, Miss Little.
The F.B.I. had nothing to do with
this. This was a murder for jealousy.
Jealousy?
Who's jealous of who, pal?
Well, let's suppose a young
college professor comes to town,
and finds the girl he loves
has made good on her job.
With the help
of a very influential friend.
- Let's suppose that.
- And let's suppose I knock your ears off at the neck.
Take it easy, buddy. If there's any
slugging to be done around here, I'll do it.
While you're on the subject, why don't
you ask him who wrote tonight's play.
"The Steel Chair
Murder Case. "
Yes. It features exactly the same
device by which the Colonel was murdered.
You wouldn't...
You wouldn't keep a secret
from me, would you, pal?
Certainly not. How come the Colonel
was bumped off just as in the script?
How would I know? Maybe I'm such a
good writer, I gave someone an idea.
That script has been kicking
around for a month. Inspector.
Yes?
Do you mind?
Oh!
Well? I think you should know this.
Only today, I heard him
threatening Colonel Andrews.
Don't try to pin this
on me, Doctor.
I seem to recall
you examined the Colonel,
and you blamed his death
on a weak heart.
That's right.
I heard him say that.
How about it, Doc? I have
been his physician for years.
- He had a weak heart.
- Let's lock 'em both up, Loot.
I'm not locking anybody up until I check
up on those two guys pretending to be cops.
No, you don't. I just
want to make a phone call.
I've been looking
all over for you.
You've got a lot
of explaining to do.
Moran said we'd find a body on
this floor, Coroner. We'll find it.
Well...
We didn't have far to look.
Looks like
he's been dead for weeks.
Dump him
in the basket, boys.
Wait a minute.
I'm not the guy. I'm not the
guy! I'm full of life, look!
Chick! Two guys want to pick
me up and put me in a basket.
And they thought I was
dead. Oh, boy! Hello, kid.
You can't trust nobody
around here. Can't trust no...
"Hello, kid. " Juliet,
what are you doing here?
Never mind that.
I want to question her.
Yes, we got to investigate you. We're
from headquarters. Just a minute.
This morning you were soda jerks
trying to write a radio script.
Oh, that was only a disguise.
That was a special case. Sure.
We solved that case, and the chief
gave us this murder for a bonus.
Search her. Search her! Huh?
Chick, you can't search
Juliet. Do as I tell ya.
- Juliet never did nothing wrong.
- Search her!
Give me the purse.
Give me somethin'.
I mean, after all,
you're tangling with the law.
I can't help it
if you are.
I'm gonna tell you one thing, Chick,
as true as I'm talking right now,
Juliet is too nice a girl
to commit a murder.
Mm-hmm.
What did you find?
Cookbook.
What do you mean?
Tells 57 ways
to cook a guy's goose.
Let me see that. Let me
see that. Give me this.
Well, studying how
to commit a murder, eh?
Sure, figuring out how people
get murdered is a hobby of mine.
You see, Chick,
it's only a hobby with her.
A hobby?
Now you let her get away. No, I don't
thinkJuliet would ever do a thing like this.
Well, we've got to get the
culprit. Never mind the culprit.
Let's get the murderer. The culprit
and the murderer are the same thing.
You mean, there's two of'em?
Yeah... Uh, no! Certainly not.
What's the matter now?
What's that?
- That's your shadow.
- That's my shadow?
Mm-hmm.
If that's my shadow, why ain't it
doin' the same things I'm doing?
Wait a minute.
That must be the murderer.
Say, he'd do anything to get
a hold of that rubber glove.
So what?
He's a killer.
So what? You've got to go
in there and capture him.
So long. Now, wait a minute. Come here.
I'm not going in there.
Now listen.
Why don't you go in? All right,
we'll gamble. See who goes in.
Okay. All right, take a number.
Four. No. Number three. You lose. Go on in.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Go on! Let's gamble
odd and even, like this.
Do you want to cheat? No. Give
me a chance to ask you a number.
Well, all right.
You take a number.
Number two.
Go ahead in. Go ahead.
Don't push, don't push.
Guy's a murderer. Stabs. What
are you worrying about? I'm here.
That's all. The game's
up. We're detectives.
I don't like his looks.
Go on over and search him.
Okay, Chick. Hurry up. Get over there.
Don't be a-scared of me. I
gotta search you, big boy.
Go on, search him.
It's nice material.
Very nice.
Oh. Badge.
Detective.
- Ooh.! Ooh.!
- What's the matter?
Did you find something?
Did you find something?
R-Ring!
Answer the phone.
Hello. Who's talking?
Oh. Operator, operator.
Sh-Sh-bong. Ooh.
Maybe they got away.
Got away, nothin'.
We'll get those murderin'
cutthroats dead or alive!
Hey, Chick, did you hear
what those cops said?
I heard them. They're gonna
catch us dead or alive.
We're on the spot.
I think so.
Those cops are after us
because they think we're guilty.
And the murderer is after us because we
have the evidence that will convict him.
What evidence?
You've got it.
What are you talking about?
It's in your pocket.
Oh, you mean the glove!
Mm-hmm.
You keep it. Oh, put... Put it away!
We'll need that to prove our
innocence when we get out of here.
Now, hold on to that. I'll
go see if the coast is clear.
Chick, I'm not gonna die.
I'm innocent, I'm tellin'ya.
Nobody's gonna give me
the electric chair, either.
I'm not gonna die
until it's my time!
Your time has come.
The time for silence.
You have lived too long.
You are about to die.
I don't want to die. It
will be a beautiful death.
What do I care how sweet
it is? I don't want to die!
Right in the back!
You dirty rat, for lettin'
me have it in the back!
Oh.
The bullet didn't kill ya?
Maybe this knife will.
Oh!
First you shoot me in the back,
then you stab me in the heart.
What a dirty culprit.
Chick!
Do you have halitosis?
What difference does it
matter now? Chick!
Chief, you can't kill this guy.
I'll get him. I'll fix him.
Here comes the Midnight Express.
Lay him across the tracks.
No, no, don't!
Don't pick me up!
Don't lay me across the
tracks! Please don't!
Chick! Chick!
The train is coming.!
Chick! Chick! Chick!
What's the matter?
The room is full of
people. They shot me. Where?
They stabbed me in the back.
Now look at me. Look at me now!
At what? A train just went over my legs.
Now, look at the way
I've got to walk.
Get up on your feet.
Get up on your feet.
I can't stand up any more.
I lost my legs. Stop it.
Now, what am I going to do?
Look at this.
It's only a transcription.
What's wrong with you? Oh!
Transcription. Certainly.
That's all it is. Come on.
Wait a minute. I don't mind
gettin' stabbed. What's the matter?
I don't mind getting shot in the
back. One of these guys insulted me.
This here guy over here.
What do you mean?
What was that crack
about halitosis?
What are you going to do about it? See?
That's...
Listen. Now, wait a minute. Now, just
a minute. Stop this nonsense, please!
- Now, listen to me.
If we want to save our necks,
we have got to find
the murderer.
Who do you think did it?
The doctor.
Aw. Not Doctor Marek. The doctor, yes sir.
- He's a kind old gentleman.
- I know, the kind stuff... Hey!
Where's the lights? Get the
lights! Get the lights! The lights!
It's over this way.
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
He went outside.
What are you doing in
here? I'm looking for clues.
In here? Ain't this "the clues closet"?
Get down out of here. Come on! Okay.
Get out. Come on, get up out
of there. Get your hands off me.
Now I gotta look for another
hidin' place. You found me up there.
I gotta find another one.
Hi, Doc. How's things?
Look out. Move over.
I want to climb up here...
Hey! Another murder!
Mervyn! Mer...
Mervyn!
Mer...
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
- Mervyn! Mervyn!
Get out of there.
What are you trying to do? I
was trying to make an impression.
All right, let's go.
Wait a minute, officers.
We're trying to help you.
We just found another dead body. Where?
Don't worry. There's no hurry.
He's hangin' around inside.
Where is it? "Where is it?"
I'll show you where it is.
"Where is it?" Follow me. All right.
"Where is it?" It's all
right. Don't get excited.
Come on, coppers.
The body of Dr. Marek
is in this closet.
Wait till you see the horrible
expression on his face.
Must have changed clothes.
So this is your corpse!
No, this is Juliet.
Now, don't tell me you were
waitin' for a streetcar.
No, funny man,
I was just plain scared.
There's been a lot going on around
here, and I went in there to hide.
Are you sure he was murdered? No, no.
When he heard you cops comin', he wanted
to find someplace to hide the knife,
so he stuck it in his chest.
What knife?
The knife
that the guy...
This knife.
This one right here.
Wait'll I wipe off my
fingerprints. Brannigan?
Take 'em in.
Come on, Mervyn!
Come on this way.
Hey, let me out ofhere.!
Out ofhere.!
Which way did they go?
"Which way did they go?"
There.
I like that better.
Well, what happened to the
fearless, independent businesswoman?
You would
bring that up.
Look!
Get back. Hide.
Oh, Jimmy, are you hurt? Certainly not!
How could a flashlight
hurt your head?
Did you recognize him?
No. Did you?
No, but there's something he
wants, all right. What could it be?
I don't know, but I'm gonna find it
if I have to tear the place apart.
There's something in this
room the murderer wants.
I think it's me. Maybe it's
in the transcription file.
Let's go over and look.
Yeah, come on.
No, you stay here and guard
that door. Why do you always...
give me these kind
of jobs for?
Always gotta guard doors
or something.
Give me that rubber glove.
Oh, there goes that
transcription thing again.
Hi, boy. I had trouble with this
record before about halitosis.
Whoo! Whoo-ooh!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
There he is! Hold on to him,
Mervyn.! Hold on to him.!
Oh!
Did you get him?
Juliet...
Juliet, kiss me.
Oh, my littleJuliet.
Juliet,
you should shave.
I mean, after all...
Get up out of there!
All right, all right!
I fainted!
Listen, officer, they didn't
do anything. I know they didn't.
Hey, we've got to give them
the slip. Give them what?
Give them the slip. Give them
the slip? Okay. Here you are.
What's that?
The slip.
Run, Mervyn.!
They're right behind you.!
Go ahead, Chick!
Keep goin', Chick!
I'll hold them out
with my life, Chick!
Nobody's gonna catch us,
Chick, old boy! Stay in there!
Two of them put their weight
on me! Go on, Chick, run!
Go ahead!
I got them, Chick.
Hold that key.
That'll...
Let's go, son.
Where did the walls go?
Termites.
All right,
stick your hands up.
I said,
put up your hands.!
Hey, it's our friend.
Shh!
Our friend, our friend!
Shut up. Let that be a
lesson to you coppers.
All right, you two, march toward
that wall, and keep marching.
Thanks.
And so, Harry the Hawk turned the
tables on his desperate enemies.
- Listen in again next week at this...
- You like it?
All the other kids go
crazy about that program.
Why...
Come here! Close the gate! Whoo-ooh!
Close the gate! Ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
Which way did
they go, Chief?
What did you grab
that time?
Use your feet!
Leave that alone! Leave it the way it was.
Get up on your feet.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Come on.
I gotta go back upstairs and get
something. What have you got to get?
My stomach. Oh, come on, come on.
Hey, it's a theater. Let's
go up and buy tickets.
No. Quiet.
Hey, look!
Those two guys came in here, and
we're not leaving until we find them.
Yeah, but Chief, The Wheel of
Fortune is just going on upstairs.
They're giving away $10,000, and
my wife dreamed I was gonna win it.
Well, my wife can dream,
can't she? Hey, you.
You see a couple of guys come in
here, a tall one and a little fat one?
No, I didn't
see anybody.
I know they're in here. Put a
man on every door. Right, Chief.
Well, we've found
plenty of nothing.
Why would Colonel Andrews
be in touch with the F.B.I.?
And why would he keep
a gun in his desk?
And why should somebody
want to kill him?
This is where
we came in.
I still think there's
something around here...
Uh-oh. What's this?
Look!
Jane, look at this.
Why, it's from the
America on the Air program.
If that isn't code, then
I'm a flop as a detective.
And look at this. "ColonelJ.R.
Andrews, distinguished service,
U.S. Cryptograph Bureau,
1917." Cryptograph Bureau...
That means the colonel
was an expert at code.
Sure. He caught a lot
of spies in the last war.
Now it all goes together.
Jane, this America on the Air broadcast goes
all over the world shortwave, doesn't it?
Yes, but I don't see what that... You will.
We're going to rebroadcast
"Murder at Midnight" tonight.
We're going to tell the whole radio
world who killed Colonel Andrews.
But we don't know. We will
before the broadcast is over.
How's your shorthand?
A little rusty.
Well, grease it up and let's get
going. We've got a lot of work to do.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Flying Bordellos,
you're on.
Get out there!
Aw, you shut up!
You get out...
Hey, wait a minute!
Come on.!
- You can't go out there.
Hey!
Oh!
All right, come on.
Come on.
Drop him!
Drop him!
Brannigan! Up here!
Brannigan!
Spread out, boys.
We'll find him.
Brannigan.!
Up here! Hey, Chief, what
are you doing up there?
Never mind! Get me down out of here! Huh?
- Release that rope!
- Oh! Yeah, sure.
No, no.
Not that one.
Yeah, that's it.
- Thanks, Brannigan.
I sure appreciate...
Serves you right. Why don't
you watch what you're doing?
Boom!
All right, go ahead.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Wait a minute, Loot.
There's the little guy now.
I'll fix him.
Tough luck, Loot.
You missed him.
I'll get him, though.
Come here!
Go ahead!
Come on, men.!
Maybe we can head them off!
Whoo! Whoo!
Get over there!
Which way did they go,
Loot? They went your way.
You must have passed them.
We're lost again, Loot.
You're always lost! Come on! Come on, boys.
There they go.
Come on!
- Chick! Where'd you go? Chick!
- Mervyn!
Mervyn, in the truck.!
Aah!
Truck.!
Truck? Okay.
Not that way. Come here.! This truck here.
Come on, hurry up! Wait a minute! I'm in!
Around it goes,
the giant wheel of fortune,
and when it stops, somebody
will be $10,000 richer.
And now...
And now, it stops!
The winner is decided, ladies and
gentlemen, the winner of the grand prize!
And here it is,
the grand prize winner.!
A resident of this city
wins the $ 10,000.!
Mr. Mervyn Q. Milgrim!
How do you like that? Some
jerk named Mervyn Milgrim. Hey!
That's you! That's you! Couldn't have...
Mr. Milgrim must
contact this studio...
by phone or in person
within five minutes.
- And the telephone number is Alexander 2222.
- Go! You got five minutes!
A fortune of $ 10,000
awaits...
the sound of your voice,
Mr. Milgrim.
Call Alexander 2222.
Hey!
Here's a place
where we can telephone.
Come on!
Come on.
You got it?
Operator! Operator!
Operator! Operator!
How do you like that?
What's the matter?
Nobody answers.
You gotta drop a nickel.
Oh, drop a nickel.
Hurry up. Okay. Operator, here goes.
Not there! Here, put the
nickel in the slot up there.
Oh, excuse me. I'm going over here
and figure out how to spend your money.
Okay. Operator!
The line is busy.
It's busy? I didn't even
ask you for the number yet.
Number, please.
Let me have Alexander 2222.
The line is busy.
The line is busy.
Give me a bicarbonate of soda,
will you, please. Yes, sir.
Operator,
give me long distance.
Long distance? I want to talk to the
Consolidated Coffee Company of Brazil.
Hello, Brazil? Oh, is this
you, Joe? Hi. This is Bill.
How's the coffee business?
Oh, just a grind, eh?
Yeah, I know. Well, I'll
call you later. So long.
Terrible service.
Look, Operator, will you get
me Alexander 2222, please?
The line is busy.
Hello, Operator.
Give me long distance.
Long distance? I want to talk
to Dan Magoo in Nome, Alaska.
Hello, Dan! How are you? How's everything?
This is Jake. Yeah. How's
the weather up there?
What?
Twenty below zero?
Say, that's pretty cold,
isn't it?
Weather down here? Just
a minute. I'll find out.
Hey, what's the temperature
around here? I don't know.
I don't live here. Don't
stand there like a dummy!
Go read the thermometer.
All right! All right!
What did the thermometer read?
They Work While You Sleep.
They Work...
Good-bye, Dan.
- Operator, give me Alexander 2222.
- The line is busy.
Did you get the number?
No, I didn't get it.
Why? Every time I talk to that
operator, she says the line is busy.
The line is not busy. Give me a
nickel. How are we gonna get the money?
Get out of my way. Get
out of my way. Hurry up.
Tell them it's Mervyn.
Operator? Give me Alexander 2222.
Hello.! Is this Alexander
2222? You got it? You got it?
Thank you. Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
I told you the line
wasn't busy.
What did you hang up
the receiver for, Chick?
- I mean, you had the number. Operator?
- Number, please?
Oh, you hear me, huh? Operator, will
you please give me that number now.
- Alexander 2222... please!
- The line is busy.
Operator? Operator, I want
you to get me Moscow, Russia.
Thank you. The Conservatory
of Music. Tinchovsky, yes.
Oh, Professor Tinchovsky,
how do you do?
This is your American pupil,
Mrs. Laughingwell.
You know, I learned that new
aria. You want to hear it?
Thank you.
You do?
Oh, thank you so much.!
Oh, good-bye,
good-bye.
Hello! Give me Alexander 2222, please.
Please give it to me. It's only over
here on the other side of the street.
The line is busy.
Number, please.
Alexander 2222!
- I can't hear you.
Alexander 2222!
Louder, please. If I talk any
louder, I won't have to call them!
- They'll hear me!
- I'm sorry, sir, but you are all wet.
Who's all wet?
I'm all wet?
Hold the line!
Hold the line!
I'm all wet, huh?
Come on, come on. We gotta
get across the street.
Hurry up.
Hey, Chick! We gotta get in
that building across the street.
Those cops, why are they hanging
around? Why don't they let me alone?
I won $10,000.
Why won't they let me in?
Now what are we gonna do?
I never did nothing, did I?
I got an idea.
What?
Remember how we used to sneak
into basketball games? Hey.
If those guys get out of the
building, I'll break every one of you.
Leave it to me and the boys,
Loot. Take your positions, men.
Only one minute left. Are
you hurrying, Mervyn Milgrim?
Where are you guys
going? We're walking out.
Whoo!
Next car.
Oh, excuse me.
Come on!
Five seconds to go.
Four seconds.
Three, two...
Hey.!
Whoo-hoo!
What are you doing?
I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't
mean it. Mr. Milgrim?
Yeah. You have some
means of identification?
Oh, sure. Tell him who I am. Oh, he's him.
I'm him. How do you spell Milgrim?
That's a hard one, huh? Give
me an easy one. Never mind.
Make it Mervyn. How do you spell Mervyn?
Never mind. I'll take the two-dollar
question and let it go at that.
Wait a minute. Look around your
clothes. You must have a card someplace.
Cards? Sure. Oh, to tell
who I am? That's right.
Any means of identification.
Don't say nothing, though.
I belong to the Campfire
Girls, Troop number 34.
Here's my card. That'll
do. That's proof enough.
Okay. Here's our check
for $10,000, Mr. Milgrim.
Come on, stop.
We're the police.
Please accept this beautiful
play-it-anywhere radio...
so you'll never miss our
broadcast. This is for me?
Oh, boy! What a beautiful
radio... and it's for me! Mine.
Wait a minute. We're
partners, you know. Oh, yeah.
We've been partners a
long time. That's right,
and we always split 50-50. He's right.
We always split everything 50-50. Come on.
Yeah. Well, here.
You take the check. I'll keep
the radio. Beautiful, too.
What's the fella's name
on third base?
But What's on second.
Who's on second?
Who's on first.
I don't know.
He's on third.
There I go, back... Oh,
no, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Every time you hear
those two guys...
"Who's on first,
What's on second... "
And that little fat guy, he kills
me. No good. Come on, let's go.
Well! Looks like
we all hit the jackpot.
- Does it play in jail?
- Anywhere.
Anywhere. Yes, and that's
where you're gonna play it.
Wait a minute, copper. Will you just
let me say one word over the radio?
All right, go ahead.
Thank you.
Help.!
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Yes, at 12:00, and everyone's to be there.
Yes, everyone.
Well, it's all set, Jimmy. Great.
Oh, but suppose it doesn't
work? Now, don't you worry.
That's all very pretty but we got
a date downtown, if you don't mind.
Looks like they're going to have to
make a bench out of the electric chair.
But we figured out a way for
you to catch the real criminal.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Now, here's the
idea. At exactly midnight tonight,
everybody that might possibly
be guilty will be in Studio "C."
We put on the air this broadcast that
we've written, and before it's over...
You've got him. You've been reading
too many of your own radio scripts.
What can you lose? It might
break the whole case for you.
Yeah, and it might break me
too. Sounds like phony baloney.
That's putting it mild. Come
on, folks. You come with me.
All right, all right.
Brannigan, you take the blimp.
Come on, blimp.
Get your hands off me.
I'll-I'll give you
a smash, I will.
Don't call me blimp.
Oh? Why not?
What makes a blimp go up? Hot air.
What's holding you down?
Come on!
Get-Get... Get out of here. Excuse me.
You are standing in the spot
in which I desire to trespass.
Oh.
Thank you.
Hey!
Hey, usher, what time's the next
feature go on? Aw, you, come on.
I've had enough
trouble with you.
I'm gonna put the cuffs on you. Cuffs?
Yeah, handcuffs. What do you do with them?
Go around the wrist,
like that.
You're gonna put one on that
wrist over here? Certainly.
I've got this hand free
if you do that, don't I?
I could hit you with this
hand. That's not good.
What, do you think I'm a dope? I
put them on both hands, like that.
Oh, you put them on both wrists? Certainly.
Over here?
Right around tight.
If you did that to me, you know
what I'd do? I'd say, "Hey, boy.
Pick up something for me. " As soon
as you bend down to pick up something,
I'd hit you on the head, and that
would hurt you, because that's iron.
Aw, I'm not a dope. I put them behind
your back, like that... that, see?
Oh, like this?
Tight.
Oh, wait. I'll lock that, see, and then
I want you to show me what you mean.
All right, go ahead,
lock it tight, see?
Now that's... Now what
happens? Can't do a thing.
You can't?
Not a thing.
You mean your hands are like
this, and you can't get out?
Positive. Can't do a thing. Yeah?
Yeah. Then that's a tough
way to get anybody, isn't it?
Yeah. All right, now take
the key out of my pocket.
Huh?
The side pocket over here.
You got a key in here?
Key, yeah. Unlock the cuffs.
Can't you get it? How can I get it
with my hands handcuffed behind my back?
Get the key! You mean can't
take your hand and get it?
Certainly not.
Well, come on, what are you...
Come on, get the key.
That's it. Key.
That's the key, all right.
That's the key. Get it out.
You can't get out unless you get
the key? What are you waiting for?
Get the...
Shut up!
I had enough of this
trouble with you, brother.
What do you think you are,
smart guy or something?
Look...
Don't talk to me.
If I do that long enough,
that'll drive you crazy, brother.
That's what they call
French Prosecution.
That stuff
like that there.
I've had enough
of you, brother.
Told you I could
lick you, didn't I?
What do you got, help?
Who's here?
Don't you pull
no knife on me, brother.
Come on, wise guy, where's
your gun? Give me that gun.
Hand me that gun and keep your hands there.
You're talking
to Black Mervyn.
That's me...
Black Horse Mervyn.
Watch me hit
that statue.
What's the matter
with you?
Get your hands down!
The gun.!
Get your hands down.! The gun, the
other way! No, the gun the other way!
Get them down. Come on, come on, come on.
Get out of here. You too. I'm with you.
Oh, you're on my side. Get
out! Come on, all of youse!
Come here, you. Put it
down there. Take care ofhim.
You watch the feature.
See how you like it.
Come on, you. I'm not
nervous. You heard him.
Oh, it's you. What did you do to my Romeo?
You mean what did your
Romeo do to me. Look!
Well, he's got more nerve
than I thought he had.
There's a key in my pocket.
Unfasten those handcuffs.
Unfa...
Why should I?
Don't argue with me.
Just get the cuffs open.
If I unfasten the handcuffs, will you
let Mervyn go? Sure, sure. Anything.
Just unfasten the cuffs.
Okay.
That's the two of them
I've got tied up. Yeah.
Well, you kids can go now. Maybe this
gives us a chance to put on that broadcast.
Say, maybe it does,
at that.
There you are. Now don't
forget, you promised.
Don't worry.
And he'll be so embarrassed he'll
be forced to let us broadcast.
They won't only be
embarrassed,
but they'll be sheepish
about the whole thing.
Mr. Turner, you can let that guy
out any time he wants to get out.
All right. This guy in here belongs to me.
What do you mean? What a
dope.! Come here, Chick.
Come here. This guy is the
dumbest detective I ever saw.
He's dumber than me.
Look out for him.
No, I got him handcuffed.
You've got him handcuffed?
He can't do a thing. Come on, get
up. Look out now, I'm warning you.
Don't be afraid.
Hello, kid.
Look out. Look out.
Not yourself.
I'm hitting myself.
Well.
Want to take a whack at him?
Go ahead. Now we're talking.
What's the matter?
Did you see anything?
Certainly not.
Go on! There must be
spots in front of my eyes.
There's only one way to handle
those guys. Give it to him!
What's the matter?
What are you afraid of?
You go over now.
Are you sure he's
handcuffed? He's handcuffed.
All right, well,
don't push!
What's the idea of treating
my buddy like that, huh?
Hey, get over there.
That's all I wanted to know.
Give it to him. Get in there. Get in there.
What's the matter?
Go on, give it to him!
What's the...
Uh-oh.
What's the matter, Chick?
What are you running for?
I guess he can't stand
to see me punish you.
Do you know what I'm gonna do
to you? What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna run
like the devil!
Now I've really got you!
Get your hands off me.
You ain't gonna do
nothing to me...
not unless you want to be
embarrassed. Embarrassed? About what?
Just a minute, Inspector. You don't
want any of this to get out, do you?
- What? Let what out?
- They locked you in a closet and handcuffed him...
with his own handcuffs.
Do you want to let them
broadcast or not, Officer?
Get your hands off me!
On second thought, maybe you'd
better not let us broadcast.
Go on, take us down. Go on, take
me down to police headquarters,
and be the laughingstock
of all the cops.
And you take
the "quinsequonces. "
All right, we'll broadcast, but
something better come of this.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the hour is midnight.
We bring you perhaps the most startling
broadcast in the annals of radio.
We introduce you to murder!
Within the last five hours,
two men have died...
more specifically, they have been
murdered, ladies and gentlemen,
and their killer is here
at this very moment,
sitting in this darkened studio
with a dozen others,
who are unaware ofhis...
or her... identity.
Did you ever meet a murderer,
my friends?
You will tonight, for tonight
we present the story...
behind the story
of Colonel J.R. Andrews...
head of this broadcasting
chain... and Dr. Anton Marek,
Czechoslovakian patriot, who
died because they knew too much.
- I like to tune it in
on the radio.
Shh. Listen to it here. Okay.
The time, one week ago. The place,
a conference room in Washington.
Colonel Andrews, as an officer of the
United States military intelligence...
in the first world war, you
did remarkable work in decoding.
We need your
able services again.
You know I'll do anything
I can for my country.
Good. Colonel, someone is communicating
the position of our transports...
and merchant ships
to a foreign power.
We think they're using the regular
programs of the broadcasting system.
In that case, sir, we'll
have to move extremely fast!
Time, one week later.
The place, the colonel's office.
Present are Colonel Andrews
and his good friend, Dr. Marek.
Dr. Marek, did you notice
anything strange...
about the program
this morning?
No. I'd be willing to
bet those announcements...
contained code messages.
Miss Collins? Yes, Colonel Andrews?
Have a record of the America
on the Air broadcast...
sent here immediately.
Coded broadcasts?
Ingenious!
Ingenious and deadly.
I'll need your help,
Dr. Marek.
You're much more
of a linguist than I am,
and I'm sure a foreign
language is being used.
I'm at your service, Colonel,
until the victory is won.
From that moment, the fate of Colonel
Andrews and Dr. Marek was sealed...
because the spy knew
the colonel was on his trail.
He knew that within 24 hours the
finger of guilt would point to him,
and only him. But there was one
tangible piece of evidence...
that could be used
against the murderer...
the record of last week's
broadcast.
The murderer returned
to the Colonel's office...
to destroy the only thing that stood
between him and complete freedom.
In the darkened shadows of that
office are two men. There is a scuffle.
What are you doing?
I can't get nothing.
You've got to plug it in first. Oh!
The murderer escapes,
but he makes one fatal mistake.
He leaves behind him a
telltale piece of evidence,
as certain to convict him
as his own fingerprints.
And that man is... No, it's
a lie! I didn't... I didn't...
You're a murderer! You did
it! There's the murderer!
- That's our man, Loot!
- Go get him!
Come on! Here he is! Come on, boys!
Ladies and gentlemen, you've
been listening to a reenactment...
of the events leading up to the killing
of Dr. Marek and Colonel Andrews.
No, you don't!
Come here!
No, you don't!
No, you don't!
I got him!
I got the murderer!
I got him!
Nice work.
With my own hands.
I captured him all by myself. You got him?
Yup. Aw... Come on!
What's the... What's the idea? Whoo!
Get out.
Get over there.
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Boy, am I tired.
Tired? Then what are we
running up to the roof for?
We know who the murderer
is, don't we? Why, certainly.
Where does a murderer
usually hide? In the cellar.
See? Come on.
Oh, boy. What...
Now we're safe.
Yes, but don't lose that key,
or we'll spend the rest
of our lives up here.
Your lives may be very short
if you don't hand over that key.
What are you doing up here? You're
supposed to be in the cellar.
I said give me that key.
Run! Run, Mervyn!
Come on, Mervyn!
Whoo!
Whoo. Whoo!
Whee!
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
What an idea!
Whee!
Mervyn!
Mervyn!
Boy, oh, boy.
I made it. I made it I did
it again. What are you doing?
Look out, Chick. Look out. Look out!
I'll hit your nose off. The "S" is
for you. What's the matter with you?
Watch this. What? What is this for?
The "P" over here is for me,
on the end here.
Watch me get it on the next
trip around. What are you...
There you are...
"Send Help. "
Marvelous.!
Nothing can help you now.
What are you saying
that for? It was my idea.
Uh-oh. That's got nothing to do...
No. No. I wasn't doing
anything. Now, wait a minute.
I was just showing...
Come on, Mervyn!
Come on, Mervyn!
Whoo-ooh!
Whoo! Whoo!
Put them up!
That's a fancy step, ain't it? Put them up!
See the way I did it?
So I'm stupid?
You're a dummy!
- I ain't got no gun.
- Are you sure of that?
- Uh-huh. - That's
all I wanted to know.
Hey, Chick!
Chick!
Chick.!
What am I gonna do?
Uh, walk across that wire.
Yes.! Walk right across
it. I'll help you up here.
Go ahead!
Whoo-ooh!
Whoo-ooh!
All right, hold it, Mervyn.
Mervyn, over this way!
Give me
your hand.!
Get up on your feet, walk over
here, and I'll give you a hand.
Come on.!
You remember how you used to
walk the crack in the sidewalk.
Stay on it.!
That's it.
You remember.
When you were a kid, how
you used to walk the wire.
Come on. That's it. Stay
on it. Pick your feet up.!
What are you stepping on
your feet for? That's the boy.
Don't get excited.
Whoo! Whoo!
At this time we test
our new super transmitter,
carrying 200,000 watts
of power,
beaming a special program
to Melbourne, Australia.
Hello, Melbourne.
Chick!
What's cooking?
Stand still.
Let us in there.!
Come on over here. Don't touch those wires!
Give me your hand.
Let us in here.! All
right, men, break it down.!
Hurry up. Keep coming. Give
it to me. Attaboy. Okay.
You're all right now.
Come on.
Hold on!
Hold on!
Chick!
I got the murderer!
Help, somebody! I got him!
I got him.! Help, somebody.! I got him.!
I got him!
Here he is!
I caught him
all by myself.
Nice work, shorty.
Take him away, boys.
Say, if I can ever do anything
for you, let me know.
Do you mean that?
Yeah.
Could you make me
a Junior G-Man?
Well, if you promise
to eat your spinach.
I promise.
Oh, boy! Juliet! Gee, Mervyn!
You were brave up there
on those wires.
Now, wait a minute. I
want a little credit too.
Don't forget, I scared him when I
threw these electric light bulbs.
Mervyn, 200,000 volts of
electricity passed through your body.
Passed through my body? If it
did, it never said nothing to me.
Didn't it hurt you? Hurt
me? It didn't even phase me.
And this guy's bragging about
a little electric light bulb.
A little thing like this
can't do a...
What's the matter?
Screw it out! Get it out!
Get it out of me!
Oh!
Oh, boy, Chick. Thanks a
million, boy. Okay, pal.
Help! Help!
What's...
Give me that.
Oh! What...