Who Invited Charlie? (2022) Movie Script

1
- There is no future.
- What the
hell does that mean?
- It means I don't
wanna do this anymore.
- Okay, here we
go. Listen, Jess.
Do you have any idea the hoops
that I had to jump through
to get away on a Saturday?
- No. Tell me.
- It doesn't really matter.
- It does matter.
It matters to me.
- Oh my God.
- What do you think I
had to do, honey? Hmm?
I had to lie.
- Of course. Of course
you had to lie, Phil.
- What? What are you? We're not.
Jess, come on.
Would you stop? Look, I'm sorry.
- Such a fucking idiot.
I'm a walking cliche.
- You're not a cliche.
- Hey. Watch it.
- You know what?
Go fuck yourself.
- What?
- Not you, that drunk
dip shit back there.
- You're so rude.
- Yes. You know what? I am rude.
I'm a rude guy, and I'm
super pissed off right now.
And it's a fucking
shit show out here.
So can we please just go
back to your apartment?
- No. God, you don't
get it, do you?
Such a fucking narcissist,
you only care about yourself.
We are done.
- Really?
- Yes. Really.
- Well, that's great, Jess.
That is just great. You know
what? Merry fucking Christmas!
- All right, Brian.
I'll smoke outside.
- Jess.
Come on, Jess, please.
- Happy Hanukkah.
- Fuck off.
- This guy hit an
elf on the shelf.
- I'm so sorry. I
didn't see you there.
- No. He was talking
shit. I heard him.
- Whoa whoa, whoa
whoa whoa. Guys, guys.
Let's make this right, okay?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You think you can
just buy the elf off?
Kick his ass, babe.
- What are you doing, man?
- What?
- Come on. You're Jesus.
- So? Amen.
- So shouldn't you be
the voice of reason?
- I'm from Long Island, bro.
Let's fuck him up!
Hark how the bells
sweet silver bells
- Jesus, dude.
Throw cares away
Christmas is here
bringing good cheer
To young and old
meek and the bold
Ding dong ding dong
that is the song
With joyful ring
all caroling
- Phil, though?
Words of good cheer
from everywhere
Filling the air
oh how they pound
- I Love Christmas!
Merry merry merry
- Phil.
- Charlie?
- Yeah, wow. Dude,
you look amazing.
How long has it been?
Merry merry merry Christmas
Merry merry merry Christmas
On on they send
on without end
Their joyful tone
to every home
Ah ah ah ding dong ding dong
- Hey, hey.
- Oh my God. Phil!
Ding dong ding dong
that is the song
- We gotta get out
of here. Go, go.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Really tattooed you there.
You know, if you bleed through
that thing, don't feel bad.
Debbie at the bar has
a Costco sized pack
of like 40 of them.
She uses them for pretty
much everything around here.
That whole pool table
is leveled with them.
It's really nice to
see you. For real.
You know, I saw in
"Fast Company" that you
unloaded Braintree,
that's pretty big.
In "Barrens", they
said the deal was good.
That's awesome.
- Yeah.
- I hope that's not
the reason that we lost touch.
- No, no.
- Because it's water
under the bridge.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, how did you
know that was me?
- Actually, I didn't at first.
But I thought I
recognized your gate.
'Cause when you walk, sometimes
your shoulders don't move.
I don't know if you know
that about yourself,
but then I saw your wallet
on the ground and I was like-
- Oh, yeah. What?
Do you have it?
- I actually.
Oh, now that you mention
it, don't have it.
I didn't pick it
up, such an idiot.
- No, no. It's fine.
- No, it's not fine.
I saw it on the ground.
- I really should go.
- I think I was just so
happy that it was you.
- It's fine. Don't worry
about it, man. You know what?
I gotta go find it.
- No. Hey, hang out.
Wait wait, wait wait wait. We
just got here. Have a drink.
I have a tab here.
- No no, no no. It's, I.
It was a gift from my wife.
- Oh, shit. Well, then we
gotta find that wallet.
- What? No, no. You stay,
you finish your drinks.
Thank you again for this.
This was really great.
But, I got it from here.
- Phil. I want to help you out.
Nut shot.
- Charlie, you
don't have to do that, man.
We're not gonna find
the wallet, man.
- Come on. We're not giving up.
Wives can tell when
gifts they've given
you have been lost.
- Yeah. You married?
- I was, not anymore.
- Any kids?
- No thank you. You?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I
got one in high school.
- You have a kid in high school?
- Yeah.
- Oh my God. It has been
so long. We're so old.
You know, a couple years ago,
I did try to get
in touch with you.
- Oh.
Must have missed it.
- Yeah.
Someone threw out sugar fish.
- Look, look Charlie.
Take your hands outta
the garbage, all right.
Forget the wallet. It's gone.
- When Jesus
body slammed you,
that wallet went flying.
- Phil Shriver?
- Jesus Christ.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You know what,
Trey? Do me a favor.
Fuck all the way off, please.
I have no clients over here
for you to steal right now.
- I knew that when I quit,
you were gonna go downhill.
But I did not realize that
I would find you with, what?
Homeless Paul Bunion,
dumpster diving.
I mean, this is just perfect.
All right, hey. Merry Christmas.
You're doing great.
- Thank you so much.
- Say hi to Babe.
This is my Christmas gift.
It's incredible.
- What an asshole.
- One of my former
partners, Trey Reynolds.
Thank you for the
effort. I gotta go.
- You sure? We could
have another drink?
- Also, full disclosure,
the woman that you saw me with
earlier today, not my wife.
It's complicated, obviously.
I mean, like everything
else in life,
it's just endlessly complicated.
- Phil, I get it.
Go in the ocean, you're
gonna get hit by a few waves.
You've got all your
riptide, and undercurrent.
Mother Nature is a beast
that is literally
trying to kill you.
So, what do you do?
Stand there, and and take hit
after hit and just keep going.
- When's your book come out?
- It's a cookbook,
so I don't know
if it's gonna be as
helpful in that area, but.
- All right. Well, look.
Thank you for trying.
Great seeing you. I gotta go.
- Let me call you an Uber.
- No no, no no. There's a cab
coming right here. I got it.
- Let me give you
some cash, come on.
I have a little cash, come on.
Take the cash.
- I owe you. Okay?
- Stop, you don't. It's just
good to see ya. Get home safe.
- Hi. 72nd and Madison.
- Six, one.
Yeah, right.
And I'm fucking,
Andre the Giant.
We're not scared
to lose it all
Security thrown
through the wall
Future dreams we
have to realize
1000 skeptic hands
Won't keep us from
the things we plan
Unless we're clinging
to the things we prize
And do you feel scared I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh oh whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa
Treating today as though it
was the last the final show
Get to 60 and feel no regret
It may take a little time a
lonely path an uphill climb
Success or failure
will not alter it
And do you feel scared I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh oh whoa whoa
- Mom, mom,
mom. Did you leave?
- No, baby. I'm in
the kitchen. I'm here.
- I can't find my iPad.
And I'm not leaving
without my iPad.
Mom, I need to be able
to talk to Sanjay.
- Maxy, calm down.
- No way I'm
leaving without my iPad.
- I need you to take a breath.
It's right there. Okay?
- Guys.
- Thank God.
- Where are
you? Come on, let's go.
I'm double parked downstairs.
- All
right. We're packed.
We're all ready to go.
Everything's ready.
We're good, okay.
- You know, people
are wearing masks down there.
- What, on the news,
all they're saying is
keep some space,
wash your hands.
- Okay.
- Some are saying mask work.
Others are saying they don't.
So confusing. All everyone can
agree on is wash your hands.
- All right, honey. Try
this. You know what?
Let's not go zero to 60
every five seconds, okay?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Have
you seen the news?
All I'm saying-
- Yes, I have seen the news.
- If you think we need masks,
Ricky and Ray probably
got extra, so.
- Oh, hell no.
- Okay, you're the one
that brought up masks.
- Yeah, but honey, we're not
gonna go an hour out of our way
to get anything from
your brothers, all right.
Where's Max? Oh here.
- Okay. I
need you to calm down.
- Yeah, okay.
I am perfectly calm.
- Ready? You got everything?
- Ready?
- Whoa whoa.
- Oh, shit. Roger.
- Phil, stay back.
- You don't. You go.
- You get the next one.
- We got it. Yeah, we're good.
We'll take the next
one. Good luck.
Don't, you know, touch anything.
- You gotta hit the button.
- Yeah, I know.
I will.
Ah, shit. I just
touched the rail.
God damn it. God, yeah.
Is that all we have?
- You always said
it was bad for you.
- I know. We can order more.
- No, Amazon's out.
- How the fuck is Amazon out?
- Thank you, thank
you, thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Good luck. Good luck.
- Wait, where's Max?
- Oh, he was just here. Maxy?
- I'm right here.
- God, you're so quiet.
- Oh shit!
- What?
What, what's wrong? You okay?
- The toilet up
paper's upstairs.
- Wait here.
- Okay, wait. Wait, wait
wait. Here, here here.
I been feeling
kind of down a lot
- That was-
- Five and a half hours.
- The line of cars,
outside the grocery store.
- People are hoarding.
- You got anything
about orientation?
Like, what are we supposed
to do about moving?
- This is really
what you want to deal with
right now, as the
world shuts down?
- I don't care if
he's the only kid there.
He's going,
Is he not going in?
- He's waiting for us. He
has separation anxiety.
Adrian told us. Remember?
- 500 dollars an hour for Adrian
to give us that
golden nugget, really?
- Yeah.
- Well, he knows he's going
to boarding school
in six months, right?
- Okay.
- I'm the bad guy. I'm
always the bad guy.
Hi, buddy.
So I set up that Zoom with
John Park for next week.
- I don't wanna see any more
therapists, Dad. Please, I.
- No, no. John's an
associate of mine.
He's an old friend.
He went to Hotchkiss.
So he was gonna talk
to you and, you know,
give you this skinny on the
dorms, get you all psyched.
- Dad, that's so extra.
- Why, you wanna
know what to expect
when you go in the Fall, right?
- They might not be open.
- Oh, they're gonna be
open. Okay, trust me.
And you're gonna go.
You still waiting for that girl
to accept your friend request?
- No. I haven't asked her yet.
- Okay. Well, you know.
In five months, it's
not gonna matter.
- What, won't?
- That she doesn't
wanna be your friend.
- I just said I
haven't asked her yet.
Mom?
- I'm downstairs. Max.
- Okay.
Wait, mom. Where downstairs?
Mom, Mom.
- Maxy, I'm in the kitchen.
- All right.
- The markets
are still open.
And that means every single
day, I'm losing money.
What does that even
mean, you fucking idiot?
What are we gonna
do about that, huh?
'Cause from my end it looks like
you're doing
absolutely jack shit.
Call me tomorrow.
- A first alert.
And our state bye state
coronavirus tracking-
- All right.
- Jesus Christ.
- Well, Max is in
his room, online,
still trying to get the
popular kids to be his friends.
- Well, good. Good for
Max. He needs friends.
- You think that's gonna
help make him want to
go to boarding school?
- He's really nervous
about going, you know.
- He wasn't a couple months ago.
- The
coronavirus risk-
- Yeah, gee. I wonder
what's happened.
- The President's
own advisors make it clear,
he is out of touch with reality.
- He should have worked with
Ricky and Ray last Summer.
- That would've somehow
there prepared him,
for what we are
experiencing today?
- Probably, yeah.
- I got him the internship
at Goldman Sachs.
- It was a summer
with college kids,
who wouldn't give
him the time of day.
Did wonders for him,
socially and emotionally.
- Well, it's gonna look
a hell of a lot better
on his resume than, you know,
working at your brother's
freaking pizza joint.
- You're such a fucking snob.
- Why is my concern for our
son's future and wellbeing
somehow an indictment of me?
- You turned it into
an indictment of you.
- Oh, well. I'm sorry that I
worked so hard for this family.
- Oh, oh. Max and I know
really well how hard you work.
All we hear is you, is you
stomping and walking around,
screaming into your phone.
I do not think it's
healthy for our son
to hear his father
say things like,
I'm gonna tear your neck
outta your fucking asshole.
- What's your point?
- My point is, we didn't
have to hear this before.
You used to be at an office.
- What do you want me to do?
- I don't know.
Lisa's husband Zooms
from the bathroom.
- Lisa's husband's
a fucking idiot.
- Here we go, because
he doesn't make
boatloads of money
being a teacher.
- No, because he Zoom schools
from the freaking toilet.
- Okay. You know what?
- Where you going?
No, you know what? No.
You stay here, okay. I will go.
- I am.
- No no, no no, no no, no no.
No no, no no, no no, no no.
- Hey, Phil.
Sorry to tell you this
over a voicemail, but
I'm gonna have to
pull out my funds.
Moving over to Trey
Reynolds's shop.
All right, man. Hope
you're staying safe.
- I just don't understand what
the fuck you're doing about.
Well, until that day happens,
it's still costing me money.
And you're still
my lawyer, right?
Then what the fuck are
you gonna do about it?
Yeah, I've seen the
news. I get it. I get it.
But guess what? The world
might be ending, Greg.
But it ain't over yet.
Jesus Christ!
And Max, do not
think for one second
that this is gonna get you
outta going to boarding school.
- I was thinking.
Maybe we could all go for
a hike tomorrow in Montauk.
- Oh, yeah. How am I
supposed to do that?
- It was just a suggestion.
- Well, the fund is
on the brink right now
because of Trey Reynolds.
Now I have people that I'm
responsible to, all right.
I have other people that
I'm responsible for.
Any way you slice it,
I don't have the kind of time
- You don't want to hike?
We don't have to hike.
- For wondering around
the fucking beach.
- Thank you.
- Phil, Phil?
- What is that?
- Phil.
Phil, I don't wanna
wake your family.
- Mom, Mom, Mom. Mom, Mom?
Mom, we're being attacked.
- What?
- We're being attacked.
We're being attacked.
- Okay, why are you?
Why are you here?
- Nightmares.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- We need to call, we
need to call the cops.
- Okay, but I left my
cell phone upstairs.
- Who the fuck is out here?
- Who is that?
- I don't know.
- Hi. I'm a friend of Phil's.
- You, you. Who are
you? What do you want?
- Phil. Phil, hey.
It's me. It's Charlie.
- Charlie? Jesus Christ, man.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- It's okay it's okay.
What are you doing here?
- It got really bad in
the city, and I panicked.
- So you came here?
You scared the shit
out of my family
in the middle of the night.
- I found your wallet.
- You found my wallet?
- So I
hopped in an Uber.
- Wait, you took an Uber here?
Charlie, the driver
could have been sick.
- We made a pact.
We said tell each
other right now,
have you seen anyone
that might have covid?
And he said, absolutely not.
He said he only had
like six roommates.
But I was wearing a
mask 70% of the time.
- This is one of the stupidest
things you've ever done
in a very long list
of stupid things.
You realize that?
- I live alone.
And I read that people
are dying of loneliness.
- It's been two weeks.
- That's a long time
not to see anybody.
- Charlie, what do you want?
- Can I stay here?
- You're kidding.
- Just until the city
calms down, you know?
And it, and it. You owe me.
- Are you bringing
up Braintree now?
- No.
The other night?
You said you owe me.
Remember, 'cause of
that blonde girl?
- He's
agreed to quarantine
on the other side of the house.
- You already let him in?
- Well, yeah.
- Phil!
- What? What?
I drew an imaginary
line on the floor.
I said, I, I, I said
you do not cross, okay?
And you know, I mean.
He didn't look sick.
- He could be asymptomatic,
which if everything I
read on Twitter is true,
that means he could have it,
which means you're gonna get it,
which means Max and I are
definitely gonna get it next.
- Oh, God.
- Relax, Max. Okay.
Look, Charlie is
not asymptomatic.
All right, trust me.
If he had this thing,
he would have serious,
serious symptoms by now.
I mean, he's a, he's
portly.
Okay, see.
Here's the line.
- I don't think you understand
how an airborne virus works.
- Wow, Phil.
Your family is
quite breathtaking.
- Yeah, yeah. This
is our son, Max.
- Mad Max.
Nope, right. The line.
- That's right.
- You know, your dad and
I used to be pretty tight.
Lived together for a
while. He was so intense.
He would fart, and the
power would go out.
Nothing, okay.
- And this is my wife, Rosie.
- Enchante. Whoa,
right. The line. Got it.
Rosalia, Rosalita?
Doesn't matter.
You're even more gorgeous
than I dreamed, not dreamed.
I wasn't dreaming
about. Imagined.
- Well, it's nice to
meet you, Charlie.
So what do you
have on my husband?
- I don't have anything, I.
- Just answer the question.
- I um,
found his wallet, 'cause
we hung out the other day.
- Did you like my husband
when you first met him?
- What? No, yes. When I
first met him the last time?
Or when I first
met him, like ever?
- Do you have trouble
telling the truth?
- Not generally, but I
am very nervous right now
by your line of questioning.
- I still got it.
Clean towels upstairs.
Help yourself. Welcome.
Max, let's go.
- What a peach.
What a welcoming,
welcoming vibe.
- Listen, we're gonna
go back to bed. Okay?
Just try to keep it down and,
I'll see you in the morning.
- Yeah, it's like
I'm not even here.
Hey, Phil?
- Yeah.
- I just wanna let you
know what you're doing,
it's a real mitzvah.
- Yeah, It really is.
- Okay, Phil?
- Yes.
- What do I do if I
get hungry, or thirsty,
or I run outta my medicated
wipes and I need toilet paper?
'Cause the line.
- Okay, you may occasionally,
from time to time,
quietly cross the line.
- Like a little bit of
times I can cross the line.
- But, you know.
- Got it.
- Okay.
- Hey, Phil?
- Yes?
- Is this one of those
times? 'Cause I feel like-
- No, no.
- Yep, got it.
- If we're not gonna
respect the line,
then, you know,
what are we doing?
- I'm a hugger, so it's gonna
be hard in this new normal.
- Let's respect the line.
- Of course.
- All right.
- Good night.
- Respect the line.
Oh, hey, Phil?
Pretty positive. I forgot
the medicated wipes.
So I'm gonna need
some TP whenever you.
Philly boy, that's gorgeous.
Gotta drink.
And if I'm going eat.
Bloody Mary?
- He's trying to steal
my entire client roster.
Yes, I'm keenly aware
that I've had a couple
down years, Andrew.
No one is more aware
of that than me.
Braintree is, you can't
recreate that all right.
That was a one time thing.
It was the invisible unicorn.
- Good morning, everybody.
- Listen, I gotta go
all right. Start filing.
- Phil, this house is amazing.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
Listen, I'm making some green
smoothies for me and Max.
You want one?
- Oh, you know what?
No, I'd actually rather have
a big tall glass of warm piss.
I said I'd rather have a
tall glass of warm piss.
Can he not hear it?
- Really?
- Just a little hair of the dog.
You don't have to be so judgy.
- Wait, where did you even
find the mixer for that?
- In your bar.
- Oh, dude. That stuff's
like three Summers old.
- I guess that's why it's
like kind of, has a fur.
- Listen, um. About last night.
- Yeah. What was that?
- I know.
- Your wife came at me like
fucking Julianna Margoles.
- I know. She was
irritated with me.
- Yeah, well. She's scared me.
- She's scary. I know. You
wobbled on all of your answers.
- Well, I didn't think I
was gonna have a deposition
in the middle of
the fucking night.
- Yeah, well just because
she doesn't practice anymore
doesn't mean my wife is still
not a brutal cross examiner.
Keep that in mind.
- Maybe you should tell her
that every once in a while.
I'm sure she would
love to hear it.
- I gotta go.
This is for you. Button this.
- Wait. Dad, where you going?
- Work.
- What you jamming on?
I am tired of being tired
I'm so tired of being tired
There's no question
there's so much pain
I'm getting older
and won't hate
If I could shut of my brain
Make me focus on better days
'Cause every day
feels all the same
It's like I'm stuck on
a crowd in a local train
If I could shut off my brain
Make it think more
certainly of everything
'Cause every day
goes by the same
It's like I'm stuck on
a crowd in a local train
Local train local
train local train
No one no one no one no one
'Cause every day
every day every day
It's all the same it's all
the same it's all the same
I'm going through
the motions
I'm going through
the motions
I know it's gonna
be it's gonna okay
I'm going through
the motions
I'm going through
the motions
I know it's gonna
be it's gonna okay
- I just think it would
be nice to have some answers
about when the school
is gonna open up.
We've already paid the deposit.
And you also have my
very generous donation
to the Whoeverstein
Library that's going up.
- What's up?
- Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I just stepped into your
beautiful afternoon, and I.
I'm, I'm sorry.
- Oh my God. No, you're fine.
I smelled that good
that you're smoking on.
- Oh, well. Please, by all
means. It's phenomenal.
- Wait. Oh my God.
- Oh my God.
- No.
- Holy shit. I'm so sorry.
- I'm not allowed.
- No, you can't do that anymore.
- That was so dangerous.
- I almost killed you.
This is like poison.
Oh, man.
- I know. I'm still
trying to get used to it.
I would've, like a month ago,
I would've just taken that,
and just drop
litted all over it.
Everything I used to
do in the before times.
Now I'm out here in the country
with my 100 year old
dad making sourdough,
and not taking joints
from strangers.
- You're making the bread.
- Oh yeah.
I made the bread.
- God, I really want to
make the bread. Is it good?
- Well, I'm making
the bread right now.
It's still rising, so.
- I'm Charlie, by the way.
- Emma.
- Kind of like pandemic
roommates with the neighbors.
- I'm just out here on my every
10 minute fresh air break,
you know, required by
the CDC or whatever.
- No, I know. I try to take
one every five minutes.
- Life in a pandemic.
- Well, I will throw a
bag over for you, maybe.
- Oh my God. Thank you.
And I'll throw over some
sourdough if it turns out good.
- Oh, it doesn't
matter good or bad.
They're gluten free in
there and I'm, I'm dying.
Well, it was nice having you
check me out, so thank you.
- Okay. I wasn't checking
you out. But I like your fit.
It's pandemic chic.
Enjoy your weed.
- Enjoy your wine.
It's quite a pour.
- Mom.
Mom, Mom.
No.
'Cause they're doing
something nice for me.
I can't stay with
you, Mom. You're old.
No, you can't come here.
You will die if you get this.
I don't care that you've
been going to Curves.
You're an old woman, Mom.
This is the right thing to
do, okay. It feels right.
Feels like maybe there
was a reason that,
that I was supposed
to bump into him.
Who knows, Mom?
What are you doing?
Did someone say you
could go through my shit?
- Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry. I'm
sorry. Don't run.
Don't run, I'm so tired.
Are you on the track team?
No, no. Wait.
Max, wait, wait. I'm sorry.
- Just leave.
- I'm sorry.
- Why are you running?
- Charlie, Charlie, just.
- No, I'm sorry.
- Just don't, don't
hurt me, please.
- I'm not gonna hurt, hurt you.
Why would I hurt you? I
just want to apologize.
Please stop running.
- No, no no. Then you stop.
- Oh my God. I'm gonna
have a heart attack.
Oh, I feel it in my arm.
This is where it starts.
It starts in the arm.
- I'm sorry I ran,
you were just.
You looked so
angry, I was scared.
- I'm not angry.
I'm sorry I yelled.
You can't go through
my shit, you know.
You need to ask for entree.
- I came up there
in peace. I just.
I saw you talking to that
girl, that woman, the neighbor.
- Yeah, so?
- Well,
just.
How do you do it, you know?
- Are you implying because
I look the way I do,
and she's beautiful,
that there's
some sort of obstacle
for me to overcome?
- I just, it, it just
looked easy for you.
- Because I will let you know
right now, chubby guys fuck.
We put in that work.
We'll eat you out
for like a half hour,
before I even think
about what I'm getting.
You know, we, we're
generous lovers.
- It's not that easy for me.
I can't even get myself to
follow this girl that
I'm into on Instagram.
- I don't know, my dude.
You wanna talk to someone.
The truth is, it's
a what's the worst
that could happen
situation, you know?
- Yeah.
- I don't really
know how to say this
in a positive way, Phil,
but I'm moving my accounts,
and my money outta yours and
putting them in with Trey.
Since his departure, it really,
it doesn't look
good on your end.
- Who was it that said,
kill all the lawyers?
Was that Al Capone?
- Whoa.
Rough day.
- Who's there?
- What you mean, who's there?
It's Charlie. Can I come in?
- Yeah.
- See how I did that?
How I asked if I could enter,
waited for your response,
then received the permission
I was looking for?
And now I shall go in.
- Yeah, I saw.
- This is a very, very
cool room of a boy
who is not quite a man,
but not quite a boy.
Sweet ax.
- Thank you. I
like your tattoos.
- Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I got enough tattoos to
be a chef, but I don't cook.
- I like your owl.
- I got it for my grandma
when she passed away.
She was wise, but she also
looked like an owl, so.
And then I got
this one down here.
- I can't see it.
- It's over here.
It says lion hair.
I got that when I was 16.
I fell in love with this blonde
girl, and my mom would say-
- 16?
- looks like someone
got attacked by a lion.
- Oh, what's that plane?
- I got that for my dad,
when he passed away.
'Cause he was a pilot.
Better pilot than a dad,
but a pretty good pilot.
- That's sad.
- And then this
is an Eames chair.
That's not for anyone that died.
That's just an item that
you will grow to covet.
- What's an Eames chair?
- You know, I been
doing a little thinking
about your lady
problem, as it were.
- Oh, okay. And would you?
- I think I have a
solution for you.
- What is it?
- Well, I think what
you need, my friend,
is what's called a hard reset.
- No, I don't wanna lie.
I don't wanna lie to her.
- I'm not asking you to lie.
I'm not saying full
like a college scandal,
Felicity Huffman shit.
I'm just saying, you
need to present this
lady of yours with a
new side of yourself,
that maybe she hasn't seen.
That way, she kind of
takes you in with new eyes.
A hard reset.
- What if I make her laugh?
'Cause I make Sanjay laugh
a lot, so I can be funny.
- Oh, you're being
serious about that.
Oh, okay yeah.
Let's go with that.
- What? You don't
think I can do it?
- Oh, no no. I think
you could be funny.
Yeah, no, I think you.
That was one of the first
things I thought when I met you,
was like this kid is,
this kid is a crack off.
- Okay, well then I don't, I
don't want embarrass myself.
I don't want her to laugh
at me, then. You're right.
- She won't laugh at
you. Do something online.
Just like write or make
a meme. Shit out a meme.
I don't know what the
proper term for it is,
but make a meme.
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
- Okay, so then.
How do we make somebody laugh?
- You just Google image
social conscious pictures,
and show all these images that
have been shared by
millions of people.
You just pick one,
and then you write a
funny, witty caption.
If the picture is
King Kong climbing up
the Empire State Building,
you write underneath it,
me until I've had my coffee.
And then you throw
it up on Insta.
You get a big fat
like from old CD69,
and you're on your way.
- CD? Who's CD69?
- Charlie Don 69.
It's my screen name.
It's been my screen name at
every possible email
account you could have.
I had Charlie 69 at
Prodigy, Charlie 69 at AOL,
Charlie 69 at Hotmail.
I even at Charlie 69 at Apple,
and that became at iCloud.
And now it's at me, but
you have to pay for it,
so I don't have it anymore.
- Is it funny?
I want to be funny.
- Yes, it's funny.
It's got 69 in the title.
I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, people think I'm funny.
Anyway. Make that
meme, Meme Lord.
- And Charlie,
I should know.
What is 69, so I can-
- Nope, whoop.
Ba ba ba ba boo.
- What's that?
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba
ba ba boo. Boo boo.
- What?
- Oh my God. You fucking
children of the corned me, man.
- So sorry,
Charlie. I just-
- You can't do that.
- I just, I just
came real quick.
- Seriously, I think I'm
having a heart attack.
You can't do that.
- Sorry, I just. I just wanted
to show you I made the meme.
- The what?
- The meme. I made the
meme, like you said.
- Oh, the meme? Yes, the
meme. Yes yes, the meme.
What I thought my
apocalypse outfit would be.
What it actually is.
- It's not, you're not
laughing. It's not funny?
- No, no. It's, it's,
it's really funny.
Sometimes when I read things, I,
and they're funny I
don't laugh, but like I.
You laugh in your mind, you
know, like "The New Yorker".
- So I should post it?
- Post that shit. Yes,
you only got one shot.
- Thanks, Charlie.
- Yeah, while we're in
it, shoot that shit, baby.
Eight mile, mom's spaghetti.
Top of the morning.
- Oh my God, you gotta
wear clothes today.
- What are talking about?
I am wearing clothes.
This is Egyptian cotton.
- I have a Zoom
with a girlfriend
who's getting a divorce in
the middle of all this shit.
She does not wanna see your
Egyptian cotton, plus I.
The fucking sink is broken, so.
- Well.
Why don't you let
me fix that thing?
- No, no. I have
a guy coming out.
- You're having a guy come out
in the middle of all this shit?
Just let me fix it.
- Oh, okay.
- I'm sorry. That eye roll
is extremely anti-Semitic.
What? Because I'm Jewish,
I can't fix a sink?
Because he's a Jew,
he can't fix the sink.
I can just check
under their hood here.
- Oh God. I do not wanna
see your side ball.
- Whoa. Oh my head!
Ow, my balls! Ow!
I'm sorry.
I only brought one
pair of underwear,
and one pair of gym shorts.
I did bring like eight pair
of sneakers, though. And.
- Oh my God.
Thank you.
You did it.
You okay?
- What? Me? Yeah, ignore it.
It's just, what you
guys have done has
been above and beyond, and I am.
It's just really nice
of you to have me here.
Sorry.
- Well, it was mostly
Phil, to be honest.
- He likes to pretend
he's a big prick, but.
He's a really good guy.
- Holy shit!
- Max?
- Oh God. I hope
I didn't do that.
- Max, what happened?
- Listen, listen.
- What? What is it?
- She commented.
- Hey, that's an
optimum response too.
- Okay, Mom. She LMFAO'ed.
- Okay, can we use words? I
don't understand any of this.
- I'll do my best,
but I'm no Gen Z'er.
Apparently Annie left
an LMFAO on his IG,
which is better than an LOL.
It's better than an ROTFL.
It's almost as good as a WTF.
It's not quite an OMG, but
we're close to an S your D.
- Well.
- I don't understand any of
that, but you look really happy.
- It's good.
- Good, good.
- No, it's good.
- It's great, it's great.
- I'm gonna follow her.
- He's a funny kid, man.
- Thank you.
- Please.
- Put some pants on, okay?
- Yeah, no I got. No, I
understand. Too comfortable.
- Oh. Hey, there you are.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Come look at this.
He was so little.
- That's Hawaii, right?
What was the name of that place?
- Hua, Hualalai.
- Hualalai?
- Huala, Hualalai. Remember,
I kept mispronouncing it?
That's nice. Did
you need something?
- No. I didn't know if
you went some place.
Did you move the truck?
- No. No, I figured you did.
- No?
- Should we be worried?
Hey man
What you doing
Stuck in love
How about you
- These are called donuts.
You probably don't
know what they are,
'cause your house
is gluten free.
- Charlie, Charlie.
- Dude, relax.
You're holding on so tight.
- Oh my God.
- Too
fast, too furious.
There's no time
There's no place
Turn it off
- Oh, dude.
Congratulations, man.
You have an in, you have a
thing now with this girl.
It's not a relationship yet,
but it's the beginnings.
It's the happenings. You
have like a common bond.
She liked your meme.
You are her Meme lord.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, don't tell her
that, 'cause it's cool.
- Charlie, what do you
say I take a hit of that?
- May I take a what?
- May I smoke with you?
- Absolutely not. No way, Sir.
I know I'm like a cool,
older figure in your life.
But there's no way I am getting
high with you. I'm sorry.
- You know I've smoked
weed before, right?
- No no, no no no, my friend.
I don't care.
I let you smoke this weed,
and the next thing you know,
you drive this jeep
straight into the ocean.
And you think I'm not in enough
hot water with your pops?
The last thing I need
is for you to have
a fricking Martin
Lawrence freak out.
- I don't think your
weed is that good,
to make me do that, you know.
I wanna believe
you. I just can't.
- 16 is like right on
the fence. You know what?
I can't stop a 16
year old from smoking.
But I will not
smoke weed with you.
That is highly inappropriate.
So what I can do is leave
this weed in the car.
Then I'm gonna get
out of the car.
And whatever happens
between you and the weed
while I am out of the car in
this controlled environment,
is between you and the weed.
And then I have
plausible deniability.
Congratulations.
Have a good time.
How's it going in there?
- Do I light it here,
and then smoke or?
How do I? What's the timing?
- The timing?
Lighter, light flame.
To the fat part, inhale, cough,
I think is how that'll go.
- Okay.
- Any progress?
Hey, there she is.
- It's working.
- Yay. Always does.
Don't worry about the cough.
You gotta cough to
get off, my friend.
- It's crazy how I
didn't get paranoid,
because I thought you got
paranoid when you smoke weed.
- Nah, that's some Reagan
era propaganda bullshit.
Weed is actually very-
Is that the cops? Did
you hear the cops? Run.
- You said you told me dad
we were taking the car.
Yes, I understand Greg.
It's stressful for me
as well, believe me.
Look, I'm giving you the best
advice I can as a friend,
that you're being a
fucking idiot, okay.
Hold, hold on one second.
- Go, go. Go go go, go go go go.
- Rosie.
Max and Charlie are back.
- I can't believe
your dad called the cops.
He has such a narc
energy, his whole life.
Since I met him, he's
been a fucking narc. Go.
- Can he see us?
- Go to the place where you
were peeping, you pervert.
- What the hell are they doing?
- I don't know how
he found out that
we took the truck.
And then he called
the cops, you know.
That's not cool because
he never used to do that
when Trey Reynolds
took the truck.
- Trey Reynolds?
- Yeah.
- The dick had on
the turtleneck?
Ah, he sucks.
You ever mix a kosher
dill and three Cheez-Its?
It's like a perfect.
I'll be like Jason
Kidd at the line.
To my battered wife.
- And stop.
- How many did I get?
- Oh my God.
- One, two, three.
Five, six, seven.
- Down it,
down it, down it.
- Hello?
- Yeah, hi.
Trey Reynolds for Phil Shriver.
- All right,
put him through.
- Phil, you gotta help me.
I'm at the bottom of a well.
- What do you want, Trey?
- I know things are awkward,
'cause I stole all your clients.
But you're still my
emergency contact.
You gotta help me, Phil.
- This some kind of a joke?
- I have your son.
I'm gonna fucking
slit his throat
if you don't give me
three million dollars.
Oh, man.
There's no way he
knew that was me.
- How was I
supposed to know that?
They don't look like
brothers in their picture.
- You don't know
the '90s at all.
You don't know who Jewel is?
- No, Charlie. I don't
know who Jewel is.
- Oh my God, even prettier
than Kristen Dunst.
And she sings.
- Oh, Kristen Dunst I know.
Kristen Dunst is, yeah.
- So you know Kristen Dunst.
That's '90s shit. Yeah.
What about Oasis?
You know Oasis.
- I only know one song.
- It sounds like the
boys are having fun.
- I know. They've been at it.
And what are they do? What
are they, building a fort?
- God, I hope they're
building a fort. It's great.
- We should check the net cam.
- That could be their bubble
for the rest of eternity.
- Are we gonna spy on them?
We have better
stuff to do, though.
- Oh, I remember this old shirt.
- I know. Remember this?
This was our spot.
- What is that? That's
really. Is that you?
- That's the lotion I
found in the bathroom.
- You're all set up.
You got a book, got your
lotion, got your old T-shirt.
You look awful cozy.
- Yeah.
Today is gonna be the day
They were gonna
throw it back to you
- Is this the song you know?
By now you shoulda somehow
realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I
do about you now
About you now
- Then we go to the bridge.
You know the bridge?
- Let's go to the bridge.
And all the roads that
lead the way are winding
And all the lights that
light the way are blinding
There are many things
that I would like-
- Goddamn it.
But I don't know how
- Oh, I nearly even
got that thing.
- You got it.
- Now the chorus.
Said maybe said maybe
You're gonna be the one
that saves me that saves me
And after all
- Phil!
You're my wonder wall
- What are you doing?
- It's the middle part.
Dun dun dun da dah
- Oasis? Are you serious?
- Well, I don't.
Radiohead is like.
I don't have a
keyboard or anything.
- Dad, just chill out.
Don't be so intense.
- Oh, I'm being intense.
Really, Max? Am I being
too intense for you?
All right. You guys are the
ones that are keeping us up.
All right? You're
down here screaming.
You're singing all out of tune.
- Hey, I was not outta tune.
- You were flat, please.
- Dad, you're making
me dizzy, just.
- Oh, I'm sorry,
Max. Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you getting a
little dizzy? Huh?
You a little dizzy
there, big guy?
- Phil, he don't look so good.
- What are you a doctor, too?
- Ah.
- Oh, no!
Smell, oh, it's in my nose.
This smells in my nose.
Can't be around it.
I can't be around it.
I can't be around it.
- All right, All
right. You know what?
We're done. We're
done. Yeah, yeah yeah.
I'm glad you're enjoying this.
Have a good laugh. But
let me tell you something.
He's a fuck up, and
he will let you down.
Charlie got our kid high.
I think we might
have to put him out.
I mean, this is unsustainable.
- Wait, wait. Wait, wait wait.
- Max has barely been able
to be in a different room
since this whole thing started.
- What's your point?
- That Charlie, a guy I had
serious reservations about,
is getting our son to do things.
- Like smoke weed?
- I know that's not good.
I just, I think it would be
a mistake to kick him out.
- Fuck.
- You did shower, right?
- Yeah. Why?
'Cause you still small
a little bit like vomit.
You gotta go, go shower.
- Goddamn it.
- There we go.
- Good morning.
- Ah, morning.
Come on, you little
fucking bitch.
How's Max?
- Max is still passed out.
- Yeah, it probably wasn't smart
to end the night
on the queso, huh?
- You think?
- Look, I'm not saying
it was a smart idea
to smoke pot with
your 16 year old kid.
It was just pot.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, thank
you for that Charlie.
My wife and I are so pleased
that our underage son
was down here with a
grownup, just smoking pot,
instead of, you know, doing
some really heavy shit.
- Yeah, that's what
I was thinking.
Better to be under
your own roof.
- Are you still high?
- Still high? Or like?
'Cause I did re-up
in the morning.
- Listen to me, Charlie.
I don't want Max doing anything
that's gonna
jeopardize his future.
Do you understand me?
- Yeah, of course.
- Okay, because this
whole role model
is not exactly what
we're going for.
Got it?
- What's so bad about
this whole role model?
- All I gotta say is,
if we have another repeat
of last night, you gotta go.
- All right, sorry.
I understand.
And your deck chair
is fixed, by the by.
- Where are you going now?
- To the store.
- No no, no no no, no.
That could be dangerous.
We'll have groceries delivered.
- I'd like to walk.
- You know, the virus could
be at the grocery store.
- I'll wear a mask.
- You really wanna go to
the grocery store right now?
- Yes, Phil.
After being talked to
like that by my friend,
I'd like to take a walk to
the fucking grocery store.
- Not bad.
9.99 for Turkish apricots.
You gotta be outta
your goddamn mind.
I guess I could do a salad.
Well, hello.
It looks like you have walked
into my afternoon this time.
- Oh my gosh.
I haven't seen you loitering
by my fence lately.
Where you been?
- Well, I've been a little busy.
Some work stuff came up.
- Oh. Is work stuff like
singing Wonderwall full
blast from the house?
- Yeah, I'm glad you heard that.
I was actually rehearsing.
I'm in a Oasis cover band.
We're called Noasis. And
we only play Wonderwall.
But I think that's all you need.
- Wow. Very important work.
I'm scared to get loose food.
- I know, I know.
I was eyeing the
sausage, and I was like,
am I gonna have to
spray that down?
- Right, can I eat sausage
that's been dipped
in rubbing alcohol?
I'm gonna stay with
the packaged stuff.
- You're so funny.
- Thanks.
- You are. You're so funny.
- You're funny too.
How you been otherwise?
- I'm good. How's the bread?
- It didn't turn out
as good as I wanted.
That's why I didn't
toss any over to you.
It was really ugly.
- Don't worry about it.
I didn't throw any
weed over because-
- Keep your distance,
please. Six feet apart.
- She's intense.
- Get on up there.
- I would, I would
really like it if,
if while I'm at the checkout
you don't crowd me, and maybe.
Just stay six feet, 'cause
Tom Hanks has it now.
- Things are getting real.
- Hi.
Make myself a
little lunch salad.
Is that right? Did
that salad say 14.99?
- It's 18.98.
- 18.99, wow.
- You still want this?
- Yeah. No, yeah.
Actually, no you can put that.
You can put that back.
I don't need that.
Total kinda came
up a little higher
than the cash that I have.
You know what? Can
you try this card?
Be gentle on the chip.
A lot of wear and tear.
I'm trying to rack
up the points.
- I don't think
this card's working.
- I'm in a new place. I travel
a lot, so it's probably,
they're just probably
taking care of me.
Can you maybe try, can you
put maybe half of it on that.
And then maybe, we'll see
where we are after that?
- Your card's been declined.
- You had to pull
the mask down to.
You know what? I
think it's the chip.
Sometimes the chip gets like-
- I got it. I got him, here.
- I got like
15 dollar sauce.
- It's crazy
in here. I get it.
- At least let me. Can
I give you the cash?
- No, I'm not trying
to touch it, honestly.
- Well, thank you again,
seriously, so much.
- No, you're welcome.
Wait, just gimme
one second. I'll be-
- Yeah, no no. Take your time.
- Hey, you!
What the fuck is wrong with
you, smoking weed with my kid?
- Yeah, that's not a great look.
Sorry.
- Well, I heard Phil yell
at you already today, so.
- Thank you so much. I
hate getting yelled at.
Muchos moi gracias.
- He do that to you
a lot in college?
- Yeah. Yeah, Phil would yell.
But when I wasn't
around, he would mostly
scream into his pillow,
which was also off putting.
A child therapist taught
him that or something.
- Look, I don't want my son
doing anything stupid
or dangerous, ever.
- Yeah, no.
- If you had kids,
you'd understand.
And he's a really good kid.
I've gotten him this far
with no broken bones.
He's not an asshole.
- No, he's a great kid.
- Yeah, he is.
- What are you making?
- I'll show you.
- The lettuce is so small.
Oh, it's a spice.
You made all of this?
- I did.
- How did Phil end up
with a woman like you?
But seriously, how?
How did it happen?
- Phil and I met
in October, 2001.
- Great story.
I mean, I'd really like to
know. I love this stuff.
- Okay. I mean, this
was 20 years ago.
What do you want from me?
- I want details.
- Details, all right.
It was right after 9/11.
- Okay, bummer.
- I was a plus one at
a corporate shindig.
On paper, it made no sense.
He's from Jersey.
I'm from the Bronx.
- So you have that in common?
- The Bronx is not like
Jersey. I do not say qua-fee.
- Like, you know. He takes
a tunnel. You take a bridge.
- Anyway, I remember
telling my brother, Ray.
I met this really
nice investment baker.
There is no such thing, Rosie.
They're all douche bags.
- Well, he's not
wrong about that.
- That's what my brother
said, and then of course
my little brother,
Ricky, agreed with him.
So it comes time for me
to move into the city.
Ricky and Ray come and help
me. Phil says he'll help too.
I don't know what I
am more nervous about,
moving into my new
apartment, or my brother's
meeting this guy that I, that
I really, really, really like.
So moving day.
Ray comes into the
city. He's in a mood.
He's always in a mood.
This fucking guy.
- Wait a minute time.
- Any time he leaves, what?
- Do you hear yourself?
- What?
This fucking guy?
- This fucking guy?
- 'Cause I'm drinking.
- This fucking guy.
- Oh my God.
He's always in a mood every
time he has to leave the Bronx.
It's like he gets dizzy
when he is in the city.
First thing he asks me
is where my suit is at.
Meanwhile, my suit is
nowhere to be found.
So Ray's pissed.
Ricky's got a pee.
Here I am having to get
boxes and boxes of stuff
up my fifth floor walk
up, and he's nowhere.
And then, I look up the block.
And there's Phil.
- There he is.
- There he is.
- There's my guy.
- Struttin'.
He's got five or
six guys with him.
He had hired movers
to move us in,
so that we could
all have dinner.
The three R's.
- That sounds like Phil.
- Very romantic.
It was one of those late
Spring, early Summer nights
where you just feels so lucky
that you live in the city.
It was also the first
time that awful year that,
that I felt safe.
I felt like Phil and I could
get through anything together.
Things moved really
fast after that.
We were engaged a month later,
married a year after that.
Yeah, it just
worked. It clicked.
I don't know what happened.
You know, it's like.
I don't know, you just.
You don't know how to help.
It's like things just
get disconnected.
It's a little different now.
- Just say that.
- I just did.
- Why don't you say that to him?
Usually it's you who
finds me at the bar.
- Well, not today.
Everything all right?
- No. No, not really.
I'm in a little bit of trouble.
That guy that we ran into
the other day, Trey Reynolds.
- Dickhead with the turtleneck?
- Dickhead with the
turtleneck. Yeah, exactly.
Well, he's a former
associate of mine who is.
He's trying to gut me,
is what he is doing.
He's taken all my big clients.
He's making a play for the
rest, and I'm, I'm just.
I don't know. I'm out.
- I'm sorry.
That's terrible.
Does Rosie know?
You'll be fine.
I'm sure you have a
million irons in the fire.
And you're always like,
doing deals and stuff.
- Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- Wheeling
and dealing.
- I'm sure you're right.
What about you,
man? What do you?
What have you been working on?
- Oh, no I. We don't
need to talk business.
- No, no. Tell
me, tell me What are you?
- You know, I'm not really
working on anything.
I kind of been outside
of the, the game.
- You gotta big kidding me, man.
In school, that's who you were.
You were the crazy,
genius numbers guy.
What was all that LSD for?
- Turns out just for fun.
- Okay well, you know,
if you've got a little
gem filed away sometime,
you could bring that to me.
I could make it
worth your while.
- Phil-
- It wouldn't be
like last time, man.
You have a complete open door.
No idea is too small.
Pitch me on anything.
- I really, I don't-
- And look, I promise you.
It would not be like
last time, okay.
I would make sure that
you are protected, and-
- Phil.
I'm a gym teacher.
I teach gym.
- Like, spiritually?
- No. Like, literally I
teach gym at a middle school.
- Oh.
How'd you land there?
- I needed the benefits.
- I had no idea.
- It's amazing what you
learn when you ask, right?
I'm actually gonna skip out.
- So, what prompted this?
- Mom?
- I'm okay.
Okay, baby. I.
I'm fine.
I just, I never
in my worst fears
imagined a world where we
would just have to stop.
Stop doing everything that
we're so used to doing.
And I'm not saying that anyone
should feel sorry for us.
They should not. We are the.
We're so lucky.
We're the epitome of privilege.
We're healthy, we're home.
We're not out there
making things function.
I just think it'd
be really nice if,
if we did this like once a week.
Like, we got together and,
and we reminded ourselves that
we're family.
- Well. Thank you,
honey. This looks great.
What is that?
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
- Whoo! Thank you!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
This like, shaman guy
is gonna pull out.
- It's terrifying.
- Harrison Ford is
just like, kalatay.
- Oh my God.
- Everything was so good.
- Yeah, it was.
- You know, Dad, this is.
This is the first time
you haven't brought up,
you know, boarding
school, or my future.
- Oh, thank you for
mentioning that. I wanted to-
- No no, no no, no
no, no no, no no.
- Not cool.
- Oh, that's okay. I'll do it.
- I want to do it.
- Thank you. That
is really nice.
- I'll help.
- You can help.
I want to do it.
- Thank you.
- There
you go, superstar.
- There we go.
- It's actually, beyond
the least I could do.
- Thank you for this.
- It was really nice.
- Oh, it was great.
- We needed it.
- All you.
- Thanks.
- Okay, I'll get the rest.
- No, no no. Stay.
Let them handle it.
- I think I might
lose the business.
- Hey.
Let's not talk about work, okay?
- No, no no. Stay here. You
don't wanna go back there.
- Oh, okay.
Alexa, play Wonderwall by Oasis.
- Here's Wonderwall
Remastered, by Oasis.
- Charlie!
- Sorry, kidding.
Last night when I wished
you weren't so far
I though that
somehow we'd fix this
Our lives took a
long time conceiving
- Phil, you gotta walk me
through this like I'm a baby.
Start with the word furlough.
What does that mean?
We could have been
years ahead by now
Can't turn around
'Cause we could have
been here to stay
It's just we can't stop now
'Cause we should been
pushing the set back
We're all in this
or we're dead
We're in it together
- How do you furlough
a gym teacher?
I made all those
videos of workouts
the kids could be
doing on their own.
We're either in it forever
- I can't go on Cobra.
Do you know how
expensive Cobra is?
That's why they call it Cobra,
to scare you away from it.
Once more the world
keeps on sinking
I thought that somehow
we caught this in time
But it's over for our house
Last chance so it's
got to be meaningful
Can't slow down
'Cause we could have
been years ahead by now
- You know what? You are no
longer welcome at poker night.
It's just we can't stop now
'Cause we should been
pushing the set back
- Tomorrow I thought we might
for a hike out in Montauk.
What do you think?
- Yeah. Yeah, that's
a really good idea.
- All right.
Or not at all
We're in it together
- Hey.
Real quick.
I just, I wanna thank you.
Last night I got a DM from Annie
inviting me to a party
in the city tonight.
- Annie, the meme girl?
- Yeah.
It worked.
- Oh my God, it worked.
Where is it?
- It's in Dumbo.
- Dumbo, oh my God.
That is amazing.
- Yeah.
- It worked!
Well, congratulations, man.
Oh, God. And you've
been through so much.
It must be hard growing
up in that house,
and your parents just
at each other's throats,
and your mom looking at
everything under a microscope,
and your dad running off of
that blonde for a little bit.
It's just like-
- What?
What? What blonde?
- What?
Charlie!
- So nice.
- It was.
- That was great.
- Glad we did it.
- Fresh air makes
me hungry, though.
I'm ready for some food.
Whoop, whoa.
- Max.
- What is his problem?
- Where are you going?
Did he say something to you?
- Some things were said.
- Whoa.
- Max!
- Follow him.
- Max?
- Max.
- Max.
- Max, stop!
- Max. Come on,
come on. Come on, come on.
- Leave me alone.
- Hey, it's all right.
- Leave me alone.
- It's okay. Come on.
Come on out of the car.
Come on out of the car.
- I can't even destroy your
precious little car right.
- Why would
you wanna do that?
- Because you cheated on mom!
- Oh God.
- You have a girlfriend, Dad.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do. He told me.
- What?
Oh, baby.
- Shouldn't you be mad.
- Honey, you are
being forced to hear
and see things that
you should not have-
- Be mad, Mom!
- Max, you don't
understand. Okay?
And you shouldn't have to.
- Hey, listen to me.
- Max.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Rosie, listen to me.
I'm sorry.
- I knew, Phil.
I knew about your girlfriend.
- You did?
- Yeah, of course I knew.
I've been married
to you half my life.
- I'm, I'm so sorry.
- No, Phil. I am.
- Why? You didn't do anything.
- I did though.
I wanted to hurt you so bad,
I slept with Trey Reynolds.
- I think if we put a
piece of wood, and then-
- You.
You.
- I know.
Look, I'm sorry.
- You.
- I know.
- God, Charlie.
- I know. I'm sorry.
- You just blew up my family.
- I said something outta turn.
- Oh my God. Is this fun for
you? Are you enjoying yourself?
- What are you talking about?
- You're finally
getting your revenge.
- Revenge?
- Because you've
been so mad at me.
You've been so mad at
me about Braintree.
- I am not mad at
you about Braintree.
- Give me a break.
- You're mad at yourself,
because you know
that you took an idea of
mine and kept it for you.
- Yours?
- Yes.
- Our idea, Charlie.
That was our idea.
- If it was ours, then
where am I in your life?
You know how many times
I tried calling you?
Getting in touch
with you is like.
I don't know what, I can't
think of the right analogy.
But it's very hard.
Nature is literally
trying to kill you.
You think I care
about this shit?
This is what you wanted.
You got it. You got the
house! You got the wife!
You got everything! You got it!
- Hey.
Listen.
Obviously,
mistakes have been
made on both sides.
We clearly have a
lot of mending to do.
I just need you to help me
wrap my head around one thing.
How could you sleep
with Trey Reynolds?
I mean, of all people. Come on.
I mean, is it his
crooked little smile?
Or the tiny jackets?
I mean, what?
Do you love him?
- What?
Of course not, Phil.
I did it to hurt you.
For the past, I don't
know how many years,
I have done
everything by myself.
Everything for Max,
with no help from you.
You were too busy whining about
not getting an upgrade
from your favorite hotel.
You know, the past
couple of years
you haven't held a door for me?
Why should you when, when
Phil Shriver was coming in?
Of course.
It's like the cold
sesame noodles.
That is my favorite thing
in the world to eat.
Do you ever, ever
leave me any leftovers?
No. You don't, Phil.
Because you're number one.
- I just don't get it.
I mean, all the time
we spent in therapy I,
you never even hinted at this,
deep undercurrent of
resentment or whatever.
- Oh yeah?
Well, I never heard a peep
about your girlfriend.
No, I just knew
you must have been
sleeping with someone else.
Because you stopped whining
about not getting laid.
- Never whined about
not getting laid.
- Yeah? What was all that then?
- I said we lacked
intimacy. Which is true.
- No, no no.
You said that I wasn't
engaged when I blew you.
- That is not true.
That is not true. That
is patently false.
What I said was, it
did not seem like
you enjoyed yourself
when you blew me.
If a blowjob ever happened.
- Oh my God.
Let's be honest. It was
very few and far between.
Wait wait, wait wait wait.
All right, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Come on. Where are you
gonna go right now?
- I'm going to my brother's.
Goodbye, Phil.
- Hey, Max. Come on down
for some dinner, buddy.
Max?
Max?
Max?
Rosie, you need to
call me back, okay.
I can't find Max. I
don't know where he is.
I've looked everywhere.
He's not in the house.
He's not outside.
I don't know if he's with
you, or if he's with Charlie.
I don't know where Charlie is.
But, you need to
call me back, okay?
- Oh, look who the
fuck it is.
Yo, I'm sorry. I can't let
you in. No lames allowed.
- Definitely no
fucking lameos allowed.
- Guys, can we? Can we
please just keep it peaceful?
- Fuck you, peaceful.
- Yeah. Fuck you, Phil.
- I need to talk to Rosie.
- She don't want to talk to you.
- She never wants to
see your face again.
- Ray, listen to me, all
right. This is an emergency.
- I warned about
you, man. I told her.
I warned her.
- We sure did.
- I said never trust a guy
that goes to work in his suit.
- Never.
- Because they always fuck up.
- Jesus Christ.
- You're the suit.
- Give a break, all right?
Because you go to work in
an apron, you don't fuck up?
- Never fuck up.
- I ever fuck up one time?
- Never, never.
- Never fucked up one time.
- You have season
tickets to the Jets, Ray.
- Fuck you.
- I wanna talk to Rosie.
- Get the fuck outta here.
- I wanna talk to my wife.
- Hey, yo. Frank.
- Rosie. Rosie, is
Max in there with you?
I can't find our son.
- What?
- No, you don't
gotta talk to him.
- Where is he?
Sanjay has no idea where he is.
- All right, well let's try.
God, does he have
any other friends?
- What about, what
about Charlie?
- Charlie?
- Who's Charlie?
- Yeah, who the fuck's Charlie?
- It's a friend of Phil's,
okay. He's staying with us.
- In the Hamptons?
- In the Hamptons?
- Phil said it was too dangerous
for us to come out there.
- Yeah, well. You stayed open.
- Nuclear war wouldn't stop
pizza in New York City.
- Nuclear war.
- Stay here in
case Max shows up.
- Where are you going?
- I gotta go try
to find Charlie.
- Can't you just call him?
- I don't have his number.
- Oh, he's a bum.
- Mrs. Dunn?
Mrs. Dunn, are you home?
- Who's out there?
- Mrs. Dunn, it's Phil
Shriver. Do you remember me?
- Oh, no. Haven't you
taken enough from him?
- Mrs. Dunn, is he home?
- He isn't.
I haven't seen him
since he left saying
you asked him to
stay in the country.
- Do you have any idea
where he might be?
- Is that Max Shriver?
- Ooh. Why
is that loser here?
- In or out, man. This
has to be low key.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Charlie.
- Phil?
- Your mother said I
would find you here.
- You went to my mom's?
- Look, Charlie.
I, I.
- You know this spot?
- What?
- It was Sarah's favorite spot.
And when she got sick, she
would want to come here like,
every day.
Sarah's my wife.
When they told us
that she wasn't gonna.
I just like, I stopped
being a mad. Is that weird?
Didn't matter, you know?
I wasn't mad at you. I
wasn't mad about Braintree.
It was all okay.
And you were right,
you know, you couldn't,
you couldn't possibly bring
someone in my condition
into a meeting with
potential financiers.
I mean, you knew
me. You know me.
Probably knew me
better than anyone,
besides Sarah.
- Charlie, why didn't
you tell me any of this?
- I tried.
You didn't get the messages.
I, I'm so, I'm so sorry, dude.
I fucked your whole family up,
and I fucked this whole thing.
- Listen to me. I'm sorry, okay.
Because I really did fuck it up.
- I told you, it's okay.
- Listen, Charlie. I
need your help right now.
Okay, Max is missing.
- What?
- Do you have any idea
where he could be?
- Well, I.
There's a slight chance I
told him to go to a party.
- A party?
- I'm sorry. I told him to go
to a party in fucking Dumbo.
- Oh my God. Rosie,
hey. We got him.
He's at a party in Dumbo.
- I think it's a rave.
- Oh, good lord.
- Yeah, it's a lot of people.
- We're all gonna get
this thing, aren't we?
- I heard on NPR, this
thing could mutate.
- I don't know. Joe Rogan
says we're all gonna be fine.
Mask up. We're going in.
Let's find this boy, huh?
You want to?
I want to be polite, but it's
not like a good situation.
Yeah, you go first
and then I'll go.
So it, it's lit.
- You guys should all go home.
- You go home.
- This party is
gonna get you sick.
- You're ruining the vibe.
- You're gonna get busted.
- Fuck you, narc.
- I am a cool dad.
- I'm going this way.
Guys, I'm going this way.
I'm trying to go this way. Hey.
I have to get out!
I have to go now! Let me out!
- Max?
Max?
Max?
You guys seen a kid?
You guys? Excuse me.
Max?
- Max?
Max? Oh, so sorry. I'm sorry.
- It's all good. Hop in.
There's no age limit.
- Oh wow. Aren't you a
little fucking asshole?
You, girl. Run.
Max?
- Oh, hey.
You're a genius.
- Tastes good?
- No, it tastes like
Clorox. But, thank you.
Max?
- Hey. Any luck?
- No, I can't find him.
- Damn it.
- Hold on one second.
Hey, Hot Topic.
Are you Annie, Annie Lazar?
- I don't know you.
- Max Shriver? You know him?
- Ah, yeah.
- Seen him?
- Yeah.
- Isn't he the
guy that ran away?
- Oh yeah, yeah. He like-
- what? The guy that ran away?
- He like freaked out, and like-
- Like what? Where?
- I mean like, how can
I be more specific?
- How could you
be more specific?
Anything would be more
specific than, yeah, like-
- He went that way.
- Thank you.
And I will have you know
that you just blew your chance
with a certified Meme Lord.
- What's a Meme Lord?
- It's like a guy
that does things,
that he designs the
images and puts the funny.
Ah, fuck it!
That's him. Max.
- Hey, hey.
- Max.
Max, hey.
- Charlie?
- This is a nice spot you got.
I got one of these
myself in Central Park.
- You do?
- You all right? What happened?
- I had a panic attack.
- We were all worried.
We came to the party
looking for you.
- We?
- Yeah me,
your mom, your dad.
- They're gonna be mad.
- No.
- They're gonna be.
Charlie, they're gonna be mad.
- No. No no, they're not.
I think you've like gone
over that threshold of they,
they can't be mad 'cause
they're so scared.
So, you're fine.
- Why did I come?
Charlie, I don't know
why I came to this party.
- I should have told you.
I'm sure your dad did, that
you should never listen to me.
I am a certified 100% idiot.
One time, and pretty recently,
I drank a whole container
of spicy curry
thinking it was soup.
- You are an idiot.
- Yes. Huge idiot.
- I just want things to
go back to being normal.
That's all I want.
- You'll feel normal again.
I mean, it won't be like the
normal like you felt before,
but it'll be like the normal
that you feel from now on.
You know, like a new normal.
- What?
- You've taken some hits.
You got some
scrapes and bruises.
Like this city.
I mean, how many times
have you heard people say
New York is dead in the last
God knows how many years?
For whatever reason?
I mean, right over there were
the two biggest skyscrapers
you ever saw in your
whole fucking life.
This one crazy French guy
walked across them
on a tightrope once.
And the whole world
of crazy over it.
And then all of a sudden they,
those buildings weren't here.
But the city goes on, and it
just keeps getting back up.
They found a way to
feel normal again.
You will too.
- Yeah.
- It took me about three
days to feel normal again
after the spicy curry incident.
You want a bacon,
egg, and cheese?
Let's get a bacon,
egg, and cheese, huh?
- All right.
Let's go, big boy.
- You don't have
to call me big boy.
We'll get two bacon, egg,
and cheese. He's okay.
- Mom.
All my dreaming
All my wishing
It hasn't come through
Life's just like that
And I don't know what
I am looking for
But when I find it
It will feel right
I've dreamt of love and
I've wished for a country
- You know, I was at my
mom's house and I was like
looking through some
old papers and I,
it's the beginning of it,
like the kernel of it.
But I actually do think
I might have come across
a unicorn for you.
- I think you take this one now.
It's all you.
- Me take it? I don't
know what to do with it.
- You know what?
I got a couple
people I can call.
I think they'd be
really interested in
getting to know you.
- Getting to know me? Look at,
Phil. I mean, look at me, I.
- You'll be fine.
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna spend some
more time with my family.
Hey.
You need anything?
- Just some sleep.
- Well if you do, I'm
right down the hall.
- I'm okay.
- Your mom's downstairs.
- Dad.
I'm okay.
- Okay.
And you know.
If school opens up in the Fall,
but if you still
want to stay here-
- If school opens,
I want to go.
- Okay.
- But,
if things get weird,
or I want to come home, I can?
- Absolutely.
- Hi.
- You know, I understand
if you want to leave.
All I can say is I made a
stupid, selfish mistake.
- Yeah.
- I will do anything.
I will go back to therapy.
I will do whatever you want.
I will do whatever
it takes to fix this,
make us better.
- I really don't know if I can.
Let's give it a try.
- Hey, I was hoping
I'd run into you.
- My god. Hey.
- Hi.
- You came back.
- Yeah, it's hard to stay
away from this place.
- Do you wanna come over?
- Yeah.
But I, I have been around
a lot of people lately,
so I don't know if it's safe.
- I mean,
I feel like nature's been trying
to kill me this whole time.
So, might as well come over.
- Nature's a beast, huh?
Okay. I'm coming over.
If I get a rapid
test, can we make out?
- I mean, if you get a
PCR, maybe we can do more.
- Oh my God.
Let's go to urgent care.
- Yeah, let's go.
- I saw one on
27. It's like a mile away.
I will literally run there.
So horny.
- Never been hornier.
- Never,
ever in my life.
I'm walking around
like, don't touch me.
- Exactly.
- I might blow.
Had to grow up tough
Nothing was ever good enough
I had the thickest skin
Never let anybody in
'Cause I didn't want to
walk down a burning bridge
I said I'd forget it
On the drive I tried not
to fall asleep at the wheel
Somehow I didn't
I've been walking
in the dark
I've been waiting
for a spark
But I see myself in
a different light
I gotta know my
day will come
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
I've gotta finally
see the Sun
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
I've gotta finally
see the Sun
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
I've gotta finally see Sun