William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet (2009) Movie Script
1
["Together" by William Shatner]
Together
- So, the phone rings
and it's Margo Sappington,
famous choreographer.
She says, "I'd like
to choreograph your
album, Has Been."
And I said, wow.
I haven't danced in years.
["Has Been" by William Shatner]
Has been
I'm sitting in my office.
The phone rings,
literally, the phone rings.
"I'm Margo Sappington
and I'd like to a ballet
"of your album."
- I was listening
to NPR in the car.
There was an interview
with Bill Shatner
about his CD, Has Been,
which had just come out.
I became completely
enthralled with it.
I got it and listened to
it over and over again,
and because there's
so much music
and the music fits so
incredibly into the content
of the songs, of the lyrics,
that I wanted to
do a ballet to it.
I wanted to get
in touch with Bill
and ask his permission to do it.
- I had seen too much
ballet in my life,
too much dance, not to think
of it as a great compliment.
- He said, "Well,
this is intriguing.
"This is so interesting."
- It can't possibly turn out bad
is what I'm thinking.
- Finally, toward the
end of the conversation,
he said, "Well Margot, is
there any money in this?"
- And apparently I said,
well, is there
any money in this?
And she said, "No, no money."
I said great.
- I'm asking your
permission, which means,
can we do it for free?
- Do a ballet of my record?
Are you crazy?
Of course!
- Michael Pink, the director
of the Milwaukee Ballet,
contacted me because he
wanted to revive a ballet
I had done for the company
some years previously,
it was called Virgin Forest.
When he contacted
me, I was very happy
about that prospect,
but also had in mind
to do something new.
- I went to the website,
and I listened to
Has Been, and immediately
thought, what fun,
this is gonna be wacky,
this'll work well.
So really, I didn't
hesitate for a second
to think Margo would
give us a piece
that she has done, a piece
that's very exciting,
very dynamic, great
for the audience,
great for the dancers.
It's a perfect piece.
[William Shatner's
"Common People"]
She came from Greece
She had a thirst
for knowledge
She studied sculpture at
Saint Martin's College
That's where I
caught her eye
She told me that
her Dad was loaded
I said, in that case I'll
have a rum and coca-cola
She said fine
And in thirty
seconds time she said
I want to live
like common people
I want to do whatever
common people do
I want to sleep
with common people
I want to sleep
with common people
Like you
Well, what else could I do?
I said I'll see
what I can do
I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why but I
had to start it somewhere
So it started there
I said pretend
you've got no money
She just laughed and said
Oh you're so funny
I said yeah
Well I can't see anyone
else smiling in here
Are you sure you want to
live like common people
You want to see whatever
common people see
You want to sleep
with common people
You want to sleep
with common people
Like me
But she didn't understand
She just smiled
and held my hand
Like a dog lying in a corner
They'll bite you
and never warn you
Look out
They'll tear
your insides out
'Cause everybody
hates a tourist
'Cause everybody
hates a tourist
Especially one who thinks
it's all such a laugh
Yeah and the chip
stains' grease
Will come out in the bath
You will never understand
You will never understand
How it feels
How it feels
To live your life
To live your life
With no meaning or control
With no meaning or control
And with nowhere left to go
And with nowhere left to go
You're amazed
You're amazed
That they exist
That they exist
And they burn so bright
And they burn so bright
While you can only
While you can only
Wonder why
Wonder why
Rent a flat above a shop
Rent a flat above a shop
Cut your hair and get a job
Cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags
Smoke some fags
And play some pool
And play some pool
Pretend you never went
Pretend you never went
To school
To school
But still you'll never
But still you'll never
Get it right
Get it right
'Cause when you're lying
'Cause when you're lying
In bed at night
In bed at night
Watching roaches
climb the wall
If you called your dad
he could stop it all
Yeah
You'll never live
like common people
You'll never do
You'll never do
What common people do
What common people do
You'll never fail
You'll never fail
Like common people
Like common people
You'll never watch
You'll never watch
Your life slide out of view
Your life slide out of view
And dance and drink
And dance and drink
And screw
And screw
'Cause there's nothing else
'Cause there's nothing else
To do
To do
I want to sing with
common people like you
I want to sing with
common people like you
I want to sing with
common people like you
[audience applause]
- When I first meet the dancers
I like to play the music
all the way through
and then explain to them
what it is we're about to do,
what kind of work
we're about to do.
And so I sat them down and,
I put on the music
["Common People"]
and I watch their faces.
Sing along with
the common people
Sing along and it might
just get you through
- With every ballet I
do I have a passage.
Whether it tells one long story
or whether there are storylets
which is the way
I approached this.
With each one being a
little self contained unit
of its own little story.
Each one of those
songs tells a story.
The CD is so personal to Bill
and he wrote these things
as recollections and memories
and reminiscences of his own.
- I was in my first
year out of school
and I was a pretty lonely kid.
Very lonely kid in Montreal
but I didn't know
what loneliness was.
Until you're in a strange city
away from home, homesick
beyond belief wanting something
in this case, to be an actor.
And it's winter and
it's cold in Ottawa
and the snow is falling,
and the sounds of the peace
bells in Canada's capital
were ringing out
and I was crossing
this large lawn, huge field
in front of a peace star.
As I was writing the lyrics
I resonated on that moment
in my most extreme
loneliness in Ottawa
and brought it to
life for myself
in trying to
reproduce the thought
that as much as I yearned
for all the inchoate
things that I wanted,
I still felt it hadn't
happened, even now.
["It Hasn't Happened
Yet" by William Shatner]
I was crossing
the snow fields
In front of the
capital building
It was Christmas
and I was alone
Strange city
Strangers for friends
And I was broke
As the carillons
sang its song
I dreamt of success
I would be the best
I would make my folks proud
I would be happy
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
Yes there are nods
in my direction
Clap of hands
A knowing smile
But still
I'm scared again
I'm scared again
I'm scared again
Foot slipped
Devils fall and so did I
Almost
I'm high
On Yosemite
The big gray wall
Fear of falling
Where to put my foot next
Fear of failure
I'm afraid I'm gonna fall
Be at one with the mountain
I whispered in the air
Fear of failure
Failure
Fear of losing my hair
Falling
When is the mountain scared
When do I feel
I haven't failed
I've got to get
it together man
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
People come up and say hello
Okay I can get to
the front of the line
But you have to
ignore the looks
And yet
I'm waiting for that
feeling of contentment
That ease at night when
you put your head down
And the rhythm slow to sleep
My heads sways and
eyes start awake
I'm there not halfway
between sleep and death
But looking into
Eyes wide open
Trying to remember
What I might have done
Should've done
At my age I need serenity
I need peace
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
It hasn't happened
- I said pretend
you've got no money.
She just laughed and said,
"Oh, you're so funny."
I said, yeah.
You know, you're speaking this.
I can completely hear
that over the music
and then you say,
"Are you sure?"
After you say,
the sentence is, "Are
you sure you want to live
"like common people?"
You go, "Are you sure," and
then the choir kicks in.
This is bizarre because
you're talking about
a gospel choir singing
with a punk rock band.
I've never heard that before.
- [Man] That's great.
- So it's, are you
sure, and they're like,
You want to live
with common people
And they speak for you.
They're your chorus.
It's going to kick ass.
Bill was, I guess,
offered the opportunity
to make this record
and it was such a clean
slate he didn't know what,
he had no idea what he
was going to do exactly.
- I'm very apprehensive
because I know
that when another record comes
out they're going to say,
"Oh here comes Shatner with
another Transformed Man,
"some weird wacky thing
that we can poke fun at."
I'm a little sore about
being poked fun at.
Hey Mr. Tambourine Man
- Somewhere in the making
of Star Trek, a grip,
a guy,
who ordinarily would have a belt
around his waist
with screwdrivers and
hammers and nails and things,
he's a craftsman.
This guy
was also a musician.
He said, "Why don't we make,"
and we started
talking on the set.
"Why don't we make a record?"
I said, well if we made I
record I could tie the themes
and get the theme and
then use great literature
and put new music to it
and then take
literature that songs,
that had great
lyrics at the time,
and segue from the
literature to the song.
Wouldn't that be a great idea?
["Transformed Man"
by William Shatner]
I turned away from the city
Teaming with desperate
and haggard faces
Away from the peddlers
of hate and vengeance
Away from the clock that
decrees time is money
Away from the arrogant
and infallible
Whose hands are
stained with blood
I did Transform Man
for Decca Records
which was a big record
company at the time
and it was gone.
It disappeared.
It didn't sell particularly well
and didn't get
particularly good notices.
From time to time,
Transformed Man was
trotted out an mopped
because it was a six minute cut,
at least I think
is the reason why.
It may not have been good.
But one other reason is,
it was a six minute cut,
the literature and the lyric.
On radio you play
three minute cuts.
So the choice was,
play the literature with
the music behind it,
play the lyric that I spoke
as I did the literature.
Nobody knew what I was doing.
I thought it would be
obvious but apparently not.
I'm going,
Mr. Tambourine Man
which is a song about drugs.
Fix me
And wait a minute,
that's not the way
what's-his-name sang it.
What's that all about?
It kind of was laughed at.
I was okay.
It was a bad experiment.
- Some of the recordings Bill
has made besides Has Been
are quite well known,
quite remarkable
and like nothing I've
ever heard in my life.
Mr. Tambourine Man
A couple guys asked
for an appointment.
Can they come and see me,
they want to talk to me.
They're sitting in my
office and they're saying,
"We'd like you to do a record."
They had introduced
themselves as the guys
who owned Rhino Records.
Because there had been a
spade of actors doing singing
and some were good and
some were not good.
They took the not
good guys like me and,
Leonard Nimoy,
and they put them all
together in a Rhino Record,
Golden Throats or
something like that.
These guys are saying, "Would
you make another record?"
I know what's on their mind,
they want another Golden Throats
but I don't want to make
another Golden Throats.
I want another attempt,
secretly in the back of my mind,
is I want an attempt
at a theme record.
- What I told him, I
thought that he just needed
to tell stories from his life.
You've got someone
who's in his 70's
who's had a really long
television and movie career
and people know
him for the lines
he has learned that writers
have told him to say.
Essentially you know
him as an actor.
So how interesting would it be
to get a glimpse of his life,
something we hadn't
heard before.
But Bill actually then emailed
me about 50 finished lyrics.
- What I want to do is distill
the experience so that,
find some common connection
with the rest of the world.
Commonality of experience.
I wanted to write
about something
minute
and amplify that into
a universal experience,
see if that can be done.
So that from something so
small that everybody says,
"Oh, I've walked
in that garden,"
and observe or feel
something that they hadn't
that is an observation by you
on a very common experience.
People think, "Oh
wow, I understand
"that experience.
"I understand what he is
doing and I understand that.
"Not him so much, but
I understand that."
That is what I was after.
- That's what the
ballet's about.
It's Bill as every man.
They're all emotions
that everybody has.
They're the same ones.
["Together"]
He says Phoenix
Pegasus
Grecian urn
Midwest turn
So much to learn
Together
Together
She says our souls
Are warm
Lives
Reborn
From hearts
That were torn
Before before
Perform perform
Together
Together they say
A breath renewed
Everyday
With you
Our arms
Are moved
We are not alone
Not unloved
Together
Our souls are warm
Our souls are warm
Lives reborn
Lives reborn
From hearts that were torn
From hearts that were torn
Before
Before
Breath renewed
Breath renewed
Everyday with you
Everyday with you
Our arms our hold
Our arms our hold
We are not alone
We are not alone
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
We're ready
I spent my college years
with a friend of mine.
I even remember his
name, Brian McDonald,
who was a ballet dancer
who became a choreographer,
a well known choreographer.
Especially in Canada.
He was with a Canadian
ballet company
and I got to see the Canadian
ballet company start to form.
I was enthralled with the ballet
because the ballet has
the same distillation
that poetry has.
It's the distillation of line.
The beauty of the human form.
The grace
of a human line and
then once you see it,
you're forever fulfilled by it.
- Dance is an expression.
It is a language.
Dance is an expressive art.
It's not just about
the athleticism.
The athleticism is something
that leads you to
express something.
Dances can make you cry,
dances can make you laugh.
They can move you in
incredible ways without words
that are extraordinary.
It's a very ephemeral
art form that
is so,
immediate to the human soul
and to the human psyche.
You see something
that is so beautiful
that it makes you cry.
Dancers don't get rich.
They do it because they love it.
It's a hard life and
you really have to,
you really have to love it.
There's a satisfaction
and there's an ecstasy
that you experience as a
performer that's unlike
any other ectasy you
ever will experience.
- When I give myself
onstage I feel like
to the extent of as many
emotions as possible
and it's probably the
most gratifying thing
that I've ever found in my life.
- Margo's history was with
the Joffrey Ballet School.
She was one of the
leading dancers
and the I understand there
was an injury involved
and by that point she had
already started I think,
doing a little bit
of choregraphic work
and it just
escalated from there.
- I was 17 when I was
asked to go to New York
and join the Robert
Joffrey Ballet.
I was there for two years
and then moved onto
dance on Broadway
and started assisting
choreographers like
Michael Bennett.
As a result of my association
with him I was asked to
choreograph Oh!
Calcutta! when I was 21
and also appeared in the show.
As I broke into choreography,
there were very few female
choreographers at the time
who were invited
to do big things.
- She is a wonderful
artist, Margo is.
It was a complete surprise to me
as to how well it turned
out and what Margo did
was use her dancers
to capture the words.
- This is about life.
This is about social personal
things and you should laugh
about certain things and you
know, think about others.
She was really happy to see
that we were not sort
of taken aback by it,
that we were openly going,
what is this going to be like?
- She's definitely very artistic
and she knew what she wanted.
- She brought something out
in me that maybe a confidence
or something that I did
not have before and so,
and I respect choreographers
that make you work like that.
- You can just see how
quickly her brain works
because I can't imagine
doing that much choreography
in the time that she had.
- I put it together
like a jigsaw puzzle
and I tweak it and push it
according to their physicality
and how it looks
from my mind's eye
and my body to their body.
It might just
get you through
Laugh along
Laugh along
With the common people
Laugh along even though
they're laughing at you
And the stupid
things that you do
'Cause you think
that poor is cool
[sighs]
Ben Folds turns
out to be a genius.
He'd take a look at the lyrics,
he'd start to tinkle
away in a keyboard.
What is he doing?
He'd go through a feeling.
Feeling became a melody line
or it became a character.
He characterized the song.
Wow.
- How did this happen from
a few words to this great
creative
performance art that
gives you that feeling
of love or that feeling
of togetherness.
- Familiar Love is one of
my favorites on the record
and such a, it's such
a great Bill moment
because he's,
he's literally performing
this to his wife
who is sitting right here
in the booth working across
and he's in the vocal booth
and he's just saying it to her.
[laughs]
- Oh no!
X rated song.
Bill that's awesome.
[laughing]
- Familiar Love I
think is my favorite.
It's so tender to me.
And it's so, what a
relationship is about.
["Familiar Love"
by William Shatner]
I know what
she's going to do
And I can't wait
for her to do it
She knows me and I know her
What I hate and
what I prefer
I know her scent
I know her touch
Where to hold her
And just how much
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
I've had the
one night stands
Waiting for the
phone to ring
Waiting for the phone
The shakes of anxiety
The flaccid
response to nerves
The hideous revelation
of character
The unfamiliar smell
of breath and skin
Unexpected noises
from within
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
But my love is familiar
She knows me and I know her
What I hate what I prefer
I know her scent
I know her touch
Where to hold her
And just how much
My lady belongs here
And so do I
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
Sliced apples, almond
butter, and feta cheese
Let's feed the dogs and
send out for Chinese
Watching moves on the
TV and fall asleep
Arms wrapped around
So happy
We weep
Yeah Lizzy that's for you
Oh I know I love that
- I'm from the rock
and roll generation
and so are lots of the
directors of companies,
ballet companies today.
They want to include the culture
that's part of their
generation in the ballet
and in the art
form that they do.
I like to work with popular
music and I like to work
with music that an audience,
that will draw an
audience to the ballet
maybe for the first time.
- [Man] At first when I heard
the music I was like, whoa,
this is something else.
- I remember the first day
when Margo had thrown it on
and we're all like,
are you kidding me?
This is going to be great,
this is going to
be fun, you know?
- Bringing popular music
into the ballet world
and it was something
that I was pushing for
because I thought it
was very important
to bring young people
in to the ballet and make
them come to the ballet.
It wasn't just about
Tchaikovsky, and
Mozart, and Bach.
It was about music that
they knew and understood.
- I mean, I think that
the marriage of the two,
classical technique and
some modern influence
along with pop music
is a really great blend
and I get really inspired by it.
- There's a lot of
choreographers today
who are using popular music.
I saw a piece with music by
Rufus Wainwright recently
and it worked tremendously well.
People have used the Beatles,
they've used the Rolling Stones.
- As far as the audience goes,
I think there's so much
more they can relate to
if they don't know
classical music that well
or if they don't know
ballet, all of a sudden
it's this thing where they
can actually hear lyrics
and they can relate
to that as well
as just relating to the
movement that they see.
- With the movements they're
changing, the movements
are becoming more modern
and we're mixing modern
and ballet together
with a ballet based technique
and bringing things up to date.
Bringing things forward.
- When you look at Margo's piece
using William Shatner's
words and Ben's music,
you think this could
be the future of dance.
Injuries are very common.
I mean this is a
sports industry.
One of our dancers injured
herself in the dress rehearsal.
- At the final dress, the dancer
who was dancing Ideal Woman
hurt her shoulder during one
of the lifts and was able
to continue to perform
the rest of the ballet
but not this particular piece.
Jackie who was her understudy
stepped up to the plate
and was the one who
ended up having to do
the performances of Ideal Woman.
We had to work in the
theater, we had no chance
to go back to the
studio to rehearse.
She had to do all her
rehearsals onstage.
She had done all
the lifts separately
but she'd never done them
together in a sequence
one after the other
and they come off fast.
They're really one
after the other.
She took a deep breath
and did what dancers
are supposed to do.
She stepped up to the plate
and she hit a home run.
I want you to be you
["Ideal Woman" by
William Shatner]
Don't change
Because you think I might
like you to be different
I fell in love with you
I don't want you blonde
I don't want
you not to swear
Not to swear
It's you I fell in love with
Your turn of phrase
your sensitivity
Your irrational moves
Well maybe that could go
But everything else
I want you to be you
I want you to dance
whenever you feel it
Up by the bandstand
In the parking lot
Up on the table
Well maybe the
table could go
But I want you to be you
I love what you wear
'cause you're wearing it
That shawl
That clinging dress
The svelte black jacket
Those leopard capris
Well maybe not the capris
But I want you to be you
I love what you eat
You want yogurt
You got yogurt
Papaya
It's yours
Chewing gum
Chew away
I just want you to be you
Spit out the gum
it doesn't work
Cha cha cha
When you sleep you
are the most beautiful
In the moonlight
your soft skin glows
Your hair sprawled on
the pillow a vision
The murmuring breath
The slight snore
The slight snore
I want you to be you
I think what you've hit on
is exactly what we should do.
The thought was Henry might
take a moment, some moments
to think about what he's,
what he can't get behind.
Has Been has been a
unique experience for me.
I was,
fully conscious,
which I don't think I was
back in the Transformed Man.
I was sort of unaware
but here I was aware.
I was aware of what
could be jeopardized,
I mean, reputation-wise.
I was aware of,
not feeling adequate.
I was aware
of the adventure
of this thing that
was in front of me.
Making music with
musical greats.
Then Ben started bringing people
in who were great artists,
world recognized
artists on this album.
- On that last take I...
- [Ben] Henry is our
generation's popular
spoken word artist.
- We just pick up right
in just so we never stop.
- I thought how
cool would that be
to get those guys
screaming at each other.
- We thought, how about
I Can't Get Behind.
He says, "Oh, that's great."
He started writing
some of his own stuff
and we incorporated the stuff
I wrote, some that he wrote.
- We kept this
beautiful thing going.
He said, "I'm like, and
he's like, and she's like.
"It's all, he's
all, and she's all."
I wrote some things that I
can't get behind and we do it
as a call and response.
- Leave me the hell alone!
- Eat more, spend less!
- Hey the Colonel is
breakdancing, give me a break!
- Drink responsibly!
- I can't get
behind any of that!
- That's Henry Rollins and
Bill in a shouting match.
It was the first, that was the
first collaboration I dreamed
of for this record
when I talked to Bill.
- It became an
explosion of rhythm.
[imitates drumming]
Rhythm.
Rhythm.
[imitates drumming]
And we're all in it together.
- I can't get behind that!
- I can't get behind that!
- We're taking the rhythm
of the Skins into our lyrics
and we're changing the lyrics
and we're going around.
Spam
Size matters
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't!
Yes it does
- Rhythm of speech is
where everything is.
I can't get behind that
Me neither
Everybody knows
everything about all of us
That's too much noise
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
- William Shatner and you?
Huh?
I was like, I know, man.
- Because I'm bewildered by
the world as it is right now,
bewildered that all of
us see this terrible fate
of the world coming
like a catastrophe.
Like a tidal wave.
Oh my god, that's 100 feet high.
It's coming this way.
Maybe I should get
out of the way.
No! I think I'll watch it come.
That's what we're all doing.
We're in a catastrophe
that's about to happen
and oh wow, well maybe
there's a catastrophe.
Maybe we should do
something about it.
I can't get behind any of that.
Let's go, ready
From the top
["I Can't Get Behind
That" by William Shatner]
My favorite shows on TV have
twelve minutes of advertising
I can't get behind
that kind of time
Eat quickly, drive faster,
make more money now
I can't get behind that
My kids say
He said to me, and I'm like,
and he's like, and she's like
It's all, he's
all, she's all
I can't get behind that
kind of like, English
That'll be six to eight
weeks before delivery
The rising oceans, the
warming temperatures
The dying polar bears
No, tigers, in fifty years
Rising poison in
the air and water
I can't understand why the
price of gas suddenly rises
When oil goes up
But takes months to go
down long after oil falls
I can't get
behind any of that
I can't get behind the Gods
Who are more vengeful,
angry, and dangerous
If you don't believe in them
Why can't all these
Gods just get along
I mean they're omnipotent
and omnipresent
What's the problem
What's the problem
What about the men
who say, do as I do
Believe in what I say for
your own good or I'll kill you
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
Everybody knows
everything about all of us
That's too much knowledge
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
Yeah
And what about student drivers
using my streets to learn
If you learn to play the drums
you got to go to a studio
Go to a parking
lot for God's sake
Why are you
jeopardizing my life
I can't get behind
a student driver
I can't behind a driver who
drives like a student driver
If you're going to drive
an urban assault vehicle
Then get off the phone and
keep your eyes on the road
Lifetime guarantee
Whose lifetime, not mine
I haven't that
much time left
Let's make it yours
Everybody's got a
longer life than me
The leaf blowers
Is there anything
more futile
Car alarms
Clap off
Clap on
Spam
Size matters
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
My phone rings
Make millions in minutes
It's a computer
Lose inches in hours
Leave me the hell alone
Eat more spend less
The Colonel is breakdancing
Give me a break
Credit terms raised
I can't get
behind any of that
I can't get behind
so-called singers
That can't carry a tune,
get paid for talking
How easy is that
Well maybe I could
get behind that
Well I can't If you have
to fix it with a computer
Quantized, pitch corrected,
and overly inspected
Then you can't do it
And I can't get behind that
I can't get behind a fat ass
[audience laughing]
- Man, talk about, like
ahead of the curve.
It's basically the world
is caught up with Shatner.
The world kind of went,
"Damn, you've been
laughing the whole time."
- Did I throw you somewhat?
On the airplane
going to Nashville,
still with my notebook in hand
and I haven't finished writing.
I read, I just finished
something with an actress
and the actress whether
she had said it or not
but it wasn't a tabloid,
"Oh, I didn't want to take a
picture with that has-been."
Me.
Wow.
Has-been.
I've never been referred
to as a has-been before.
What a pity.
And then I thought, has-been,
what's wrong with
being a has-been?
I mean you got to stop doing
something at some point.
Even if you're just going to
die, fall down, I'm dying.
Yeah, but now you're
a has-been, dead.
I mean, it just,
you can't keep going at the
pace you go at when you're 20
but maybe you didn't do
anything when you were 20
and maybe you're
a one hit wonder.
But a one hit wonder
hit a great song
or maybe you just were
successful making a pancake.
A great pancake and never
able to repeat the pancake
but you did it once.
I never understood the word
has-been and I examined it.
Ben in his genius said,
"Let's make it a Western."
Huh?
["Has Been"]
Has Been
You talkin' to me
You talkin' to me
You calling me has been
What'd you say your name is
Jack
Never Done Jack
Glad to meet ya,
who's your friend
Dick
Don't Say Dick
What do ya know
And you friend
what's your handle
Don
Two Thumbs Don
Riding on their armchairs
They dream of
wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game
Never Done Jack
and Two Thumbs Don
And sidekick Don't Say Dick
Will laugh at
others failures
Though they have
not done shit
I've heard of you
The ready made connecting
with the ever ready
Yeah
Never was talking
about still trying
I got it
Forever better gossiping
about never say die
May I inquire about what
you've been doing mister
Jack
Never Done Jack
And you partner
What's the news
of the world, Dick
I don't say Dick
Don of all the people
you must be the tattler
Two Thumbs Don
What are you
afraid of failure
So am I
Has been
Has been
Has been implies failure
Has been
Not so
Has been's history
Has been was
Has been
Has been
Might again
[audience applause]
We make decisions on our
life from instant to instant
constantly filled with the
apprehension that we don't
know what we're doing.
That is this the
right decision to make
or is this not the
right decision?
We never know.
The decision that you
make today may not worth
the right decision an
instant later, a day later,
a week later.
So you've got to
forgive yourself and
you make the decision
based on the resonance of
how it feels that moment.
You make a decision.
Yes I will do to that
movie, in my case.
Yes I will make that record,
yes I will write that song.
Grecian urn
Frequently it turns out
to be the wrong decision.
Are you then to say I
made the wrong decision,
I better stop
Midwest turn
making decisions?
Or do you say okay, I
made the wrong decision
there
but it shouldn't prevent me
from making another
decision now.
By the way
Together
that decision which is
wrong, I got over here,
now I'm in the wrong place
but maybe if I go
from here to there
which I couldn't
get to from there
before I made that decision,
maybe if I get here will
be the right decision.
And so it becomes a series
of interconnected dots.
That's the story of your life.
The series of interconnected
dots of decision.
As you go to put the
last dot and fall over,
that's your life.
- When I heard the interview
with William Shatner
on NPR about Has
Been, I thought wow,
he's venturing out.
He's going somewhere else.
This is really fantastic.
- So we wrote a poem
to each other...
- In this time in his life that
he's taken all these steps,
Boston Legal and this CD,
then also gave me the
courage to find him,
to call him and say,
not just say, oh gee wouldn't
it be nice to do a ballet
to this piece and let
it sort of drift away
and be forgotten.
It was just an idea.
Now here it was
a completed piece
with the audience loving it,
the dancers loving it
and we love it too.
["Together"]
Together
Together they say
A breath renewed
Everyday
With you
Our arms
Are moved
We are not alone
Not unloved
Together
We're ready
["Together" by William Shatner]
Together
- So, the phone rings
and it's Margo Sappington,
famous choreographer.
She says, "I'd like
to choreograph your
album, Has Been."
And I said, wow.
I haven't danced in years.
["Has Been" by William Shatner]
Has been
I'm sitting in my office.
The phone rings,
literally, the phone rings.
"I'm Margo Sappington
and I'd like to a ballet
"of your album."
- I was listening
to NPR in the car.
There was an interview
with Bill Shatner
about his CD, Has Been,
which had just come out.
I became completely
enthralled with it.
I got it and listened to
it over and over again,
and because there's
so much music
and the music fits so
incredibly into the content
of the songs, of the lyrics,
that I wanted to
do a ballet to it.
I wanted to get
in touch with Bill
and ask his permission to do it.
- I had seen too much
ballet in my life,
too much dance, not to think
of it as a great compliment.
- He said, "Well,
this is intriguing.
"This is so interesting."
- It can't possibly turn out bad
is what I'm thinking.
- Finally, toward the
end of the conversation,
he said, "Well Margot, is
there any money in this?"
- And apparently I said,
well, is there
any money in this?
And she said, "No, no money."
I said great.
- I'm asking your
permission, which means,
can we do it for free?
- Do a ballet of my record?
Are you crazy?
Of course!
- Michael Pink, the director
of the Milwaukee Ballet,
contacted me because he
wanted to revive a ballet
I had done for the company
some years previously,
it was called Virgin Forest.
When he contacted
me, I was very happy
about that prospect,
but also had in mind
to do something new.
- I went to the website,
and I listened to
Has Been, and immediately
thought, what fun,
this is gonna be wacky,
this'll work well.
So really, I didn't
hesitate for a second
to think Margo would
give us a piece
that she has done, a piece
that's very exciting,
very dynamic, great
for the audience,
great for the dancers.
It's a perfect piece.
[William Shatner's
"Common People"]
She came from Greece
She had a thirst
for knowledge
She studied sculpture at
Saint Martin's College
That's where I
caught her eye
She told me that
her Dad was loaded
I said, in that case I'll
have a rum and coca-cola
She said fine
And in thirty
seconds time she said
I want to live
like common people
I want to do whatever
common people do
I want to sleep
with common people
I want to sleep
with common people
Like you
Well, what else could I do?
I said I'll see
what I can do
I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why but I
had to start it somewhere
So it started there
I said pretend
you've got no money
She just laughed and said
Oh you're so funny
I said yeah
Well I can't see anyone
else smiling in here
Are you sure you want to
live like common people
You want to see whatever
common people see
You want to sleep
with common people
You want to sleep
with common people
Like me
But she didn't understand
She just smiled
and held my hand
Like a dog lying in a corner
They'll bite you
and never warn you
Look out
They'll tear
your insides out
'Cause everybody
hates a tourist
'Cause everybody
hates a tourist
Especially one who thinks
it's all such a laugh
Yeah and the chip
stains' grease
Will come out in the bath
You will never understand
You will never understand
How it feels
How it feels
To live your life
To live your life
With no meaning or control
With no meaning or control
And with nowhere left to go
And with nowhere left to go
You're amazed
You're amazed
That they exist
That they exist
And they burn so bright
And they burn so bright
While you can only
While you can only
Wonder why
Wonder why
Rent a flat above a shop
Rent a flat above a shop
Cut your hair and get a job
Cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags
Smoke some fags
And play some pool
And play some pool
Pretend you never went
Pretend you never went
To school
To school
But still you'll never
But still you'll never
Get it right
Get it right
'Cause when you're lying
'Cause when you're lying
In bed at night
In bed at night
Watching roaches
climb the wall
If you called your dad
he could stop it all
Yeah
You'll never live
like common people
You'll never do
You'll never do
What common people do
What common people do
You'll never fail
You'll never fail
Like common people
Like common people
You'll never watch
You'll never watch
Your life slide out of view
Your life slide out of view
And dance and drink
And dance and drink
And screw
And screw
'Cause there's nothing else
'Cause there's nothing else
To do
To do
I want to sing with
common people like you
I want to sing with
common people like you
I want to sing with
common people like you
[audience applause]
- When I first meet the dancers
I like to play the music
all the way through
and then explain to them
what it is we're about to do,
what kind of work
we're about to do.
And so I sat them down and,
I put on the music
["Common People"]
and I watch their faces.
Sing along with
the common people
Sing along and it might
just get you through
- With every ballet I
do I have a passage.
Whether it tells one long story
or whether there are storylets
which is the way
I approached this.
With each one being a
little self contained unit
of its own little story.
Each one of those
songs tells a story.
The CD is so personal to Bill
and he wrote these things
as recollections and memories
and reminiscences of his own.
- I was in my first
year out of school
and I was a pretty lonely kid.
Very lonely kid in Montreal
but I didn't know
what loneliness was.
Until you're in a strange city
away from home, homesick
beyond belief wanting something
in this case, to be an actor.
And it's winter and
it's cold in Ottawa
and the snow is falling,
and the sounds of the peace
bells in Canada's capital
were ringing out
and I was crossing
this large lawn, huge field
in front of a peace star.
As I was writing the lyrics
I resonated on that moment
in my most extreme
loneliness in Ottawa
and brought it to
life for myself
in trying to
reproduce the thought
that as much as I yearned
for all the inchoate
things that I wanted,
I still felt it hadn't
happened, even now.
["It Hasn't Happened
Yet" by William Shatner]
I was crossing
the snow fields
In front of the
capital building
It was Christmas
and I was alone
Strange city
Strangers for friends
And I was broke
As the carillons
sang its song
I dreamt of success
I would be the best
I would make my folks proud
I would be happy
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
Yes there are nods
in my direction
Clap of hands
A knowing smile
But still
I'm scared again
I'm scared again
I'm scared again
Foot slipped
Devils fall and so did I
Almost
I'm high
On Yosemite
The big gray wall
Fear of falling
Where to put my foot next
Fear of failure
I'm afraid I'm gonna fall
Be at one with the mountain
I whispered in the air
Fear of failure
Failure
Fear of losing my hair
Falling
When is the mountain scared
When do I feel
I haven't failed
I've got to get
it together man
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
People come up and say hello
Okay I can get to
the front of the line
But you have to
ignore the looks
And yet
I'm waiting for that
feeling of contentment
That ease at night when
you put your head down
And the rhythm slow to sleep
My heads sways and
eyes start awake
I'm there not halfway
between sleep and death
But looking into
Eyes wide open
Trying to remember
What I might have done
Should've done
At my age I need serenity
I need peace
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened yet
It hasn't happened
It hasn't happened
- I said pretend
you've got no money.
She just laughed and said,
"Oh, you're so funny."
I said, yeah.
You know, you're speaking this.
I can completely hear
that over the music
and then you say,
"Are you sure?"
After you say,
the sentence is, "Are
you sure you want to live
"like common people?"
You go, "Are you sure," and
then the choir kicks in.
This is bizarre because
you're talking about
a gospel choir singing
with a punk rock band.
I've never heard that before.
- [Man] That's great.
- So it's, are you
sure, and they're like,
You want to live
with common people
And they speak for you.
They're your chorus.
It's going to kick ass.
Bill was, I guess,
offered the opportunity
to make this record
and it was such a clean
slate he didn't know what,
he had no idea what he
was going to do exactly.
- I'm very apprehensive
because I know
that when another record comes
out they're going to say,
"Oh here comes Shatner with
another Transformed Man,
"some weird wacky thing
that we can poke fun at."
I'm a little sore about
being poked fun at.
Hey Mr. Tambourine Man
- Somewhere in the making
of Star Trek, a grip,
a guy,
who ordinarily would have a belt
around his waist
with screwdrivers and
hammers and nails and things,
he's a craftsman.
This guy
was also a musician.
He said, "Why don't we make,"
and we started
talking on the set.
"Why don't we make a record?"
I said, well if we made I
record I could tie the themes
and get the theme and
then use great literature
and put new music to it
and then take
literature that songs,
that had great
lyrics at the time,
and segue from the
literature to the song.
Wouldn't that be a great idea?
["Transformed Man"
by William Shatner]
I turned away from the city
Teaming with desperate
and haggard faces
Away from the peddlers
of hate and vengeance
Away from the clock that
decrees time is money
Away from the arrogant
and infallible
Whose hands are
stained with blood
I did Transform Man
for Decca Records
which was a big record
company at the time
and it was gone.
It disappeared.
It didn't sell particularly well
and didn't get
particularly good notices.
From time to time,
Transformed Man was
trotted out an mopped
because it was a six minute cut,
at least I think
is the reason why.
It may not have been good.
But one other reason is,
it was a six minute cut,
the literature and the lyric.
On radio you play
three minute cuts.
So the choice was,
play the literature with
the music behind it,
play the lyric that I spoke
as I did the literature.
Nobody knew what I was doing.
I thought it would be
obvious but apparently not.
I'm going,
Mr. Tambourine Man
which is a song about drugs.
Fix me
And wait a minute,
that's not the way
what's-his-name sang it.
What's that all about?
It kind of was laughed at.
I was okay.
It was a bad experiment.
- Some of the recordings Bill
has made besides Has Been
are quite well known,
quite remarkable
and like nothing I've
ever heard in my life.
Mr. Tambourine Man
A couple guys asked
for an appointment.
Can they come and see me,
they want to talk to me.
They're sitting in my
office and they're saying,
"We'd like you to do a record."
They had introduced
themselves as the guys
who owned Rhino Records.
Because there had been a
spade of actors doing singing
and some were good and
some were not good.
They took the not
good guys like me and,
Leonard Nimoy,
and they put them all
together in a Rhino Record,
Golden Throats or
something like that.
These guys are saying, "Would
you make another record?"
I know what's on their mind,
they want another Golden Throats
but I don't want to make
another Golden Throats.
I want another attempt,
secretly in the back of my mind,
is I want an attempt
at a theme record.
- What I told him, I
thought that he just needed
to tell stories from his life.
You've got someone
who's in his 70's
who's had a really long
television and movie career
and people know
him for the lines
he has learned that writers
have told him to say.
Essentially you know
him as an actor.
So how interesting would it be
to get a glimpse of his life,
something we hadn't
heard before.
But Bill actually then emailed
me about 50 finished lyrics.
- What I want to do is distill
the experience so that,
find some common connection
with the rest of the world.
Commonality of experience.
I wanted to write
about something
minute
and amplify that into
a universal experience,
see if that can be done.
So that from something so
small that everybody says,
"Oh, I've walked
in that garden,"
and observe or feel
something that they hadn't
that is an observation by you
on a very common experience.
People think, "Oh
wow, I understand
"that experience.
"I understand what he is
doing and I understand that.
"Not him so much, but
I understand that."
That is what I was after.
- That's what the
ballet's about.
It's Bill as every man.
They're all emotions
that everybody has.
They're the same ones.
["Together"]
He says Phoenix
Pegasus
Grecian urn
Midwest turn
So much to learn
Together
Together
She says our souls
Are warm
Lives
Reborn
From hearts
That were torn
Before before
Perform perform
Together
Together they say
A breath renewed
Everyday
With you
Our arms
Are moved
We are not alone
Not unloved
Together
Our souls are warm
Our souls are warm
Lives reborn
Lives reborn
From hearts that were torn
From hearts that were torn
Before
Before
Breath renewed
Breath renewed
Everyday with you
Everyday with you
Our arms our hold
Our arms our hold
We are not alone
We are not alone
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
We're ready
I spent my college years
with a friend of mine.
I even remember his
name, Brian McDonald,
who was a ballet dancer
who became a choreographer,
a well known choreographer.
Especially in Canada.
He was with a Canadian
ballet company
and I got to see the Canadian
ballet company start to form.
I was enthralled with the ballet
because the ballet has
the same distillation
that poetry has.
It's the distillation of line.
The beauty of the human form.
The grace
of a human line and
then once you see it,
you're forever fulfilled by it.
- Dance is an expression.
It is a language.
Dance is an expressive art.
It's not just about
the athleticism.
The athleticism is something
that leads you to
express something.
Dances can make you cry,
dances can make you laugh.
They can move you in
incredible ways without words
that are extraordinary.
It's a very ephemeral
art form that
is so,
immediate to the human soul
and to the human psyche.
You see something
that is so beautiful
that it makes you cry.
Dancers don't get rich.
They do it because they love it.
It's a hard life and
you really have to,
you really have to love it.
There's a satisfaction
and there's an ecstasy
that you experience as a
performer that's unlike
any other ectasy you
ever will experience.
- When I give myself
onstage I feel like
to the extent of as many
emotions as possible
and it's probably the
most gratifying thing
that I've ever found in my life.
- Margo's history was with
the Joffrey Ballet School.
She was one of the
leading dancers
and the I understand there
was an injury involved
and by that point she had
already started I think,
doing a little bit
of choregraphic work
and it just
escalated from there.
- I was 17 when I was
asked to go to New York
and join the Robert
Joffrey Ballet.
I was there for two years
and then moved onto
dance on Broadway
and started assisting
choreographers like
Michael Bennett.
As a result of my association
with him I was asked to
choreograph Oh!
Calcutta! when I was 21
and also appeared in the show.
As I broke into choreography,
there were very few female
choreographers at the time
who were invited
to do big things.
- She is a wonderful
artist, Margo is.
It was a complete surprise to me
as to how well it turned
out and what Margo did
was use her dancers
to capture the words.
- This is about life.
This is about social personal
things and you should laugh
about certain things and you
know, think about others.
She was really happy to see
that we were not sort
of taken aback by it,
that we were openly going,
what is this going to be like?
- She's definitely very artistic
and she knew what she wanted.
- She brought something out
in me that maybe a confidence
or something that I did
not have before and so,
and I respect choreographers
that make you work like that.
- You can just see how
quickly her brain works
because I can't imagine
doing that much choreography
in the time that she had.
- I put it together
like a jigsaw puzzle
and I tweak it and push it
according to their physicality
and how it looks
from my mind's eye
and my body to their body.
It might just
get you through
Laugh along
Laugh along
With the common people
Laugh along even though
they're laughing at you
And the stupid
things that you do
'Cause you think
that poor is cool
[sighs]
Ben Folds turns
out to be a genius.
He'd take a look at the lyrics,
he'd start to tinkle
away in a keyboard.
What is he doing?
He'd go through a feeling.
Feeling became a melody line
or it became a character.
He characterized the song.
Wow.
- How did this happen from
a few words to this great
creative
performance art that
gives you that feeling
of love or that feeling
of togetherness.
- Familiar Love is one of
my favorites on the record
and such a, it's such
a great Bill moment
because he's,
he's literally performing
this to his wife
who is sitting right here
in the booth working across
and he's in the vocal booth
and he's just saying it to her.
[laughs]
- Oh no!
X rated song.
Bill that's awesome.
[laughing]
- Familiar Love I
think is my favorite.
It's so tender to me.
And it's so, what a
relationship is about.
["Familiar Love"
by William Shatner]
I know what
she's going to do
And I can't wait
for her to do it
She knows me and I know her
What I hate and
what I prefer
I know her scent
I know her touch
Where to hold her
And just how much
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
I've had the
one night stands
Waiting for the
phone to ring
Waiting for the phone
The shakes of anxiety
The flaccid
response to nerves
The hideous revelation
of character
The unfamiliar smell
of breath and skin
Unexpected noises
from within
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
But my love is familiar
She knows me and I know her
What I hate what I prefer
I know her scent
I know her touch
Where to hold her
And just how much
My lady belongs here
And so do I
My lady belongs here
And so do I
We know what the truth is
And where to lie
Oh how I love her
Familiar
Sliced apples, almond
butter, and feta cheese
Let's feed the dogs and
send out for Chinese
Watching moves on the
TV and fall asleep
Arms wrapped around
So happy
We weep
Yeah Lizzy that's for you
Oh I know I love that
- I'm from the rock
and roll generation
and so are lots of the
directors of companies,
ballet companies today.
They want to include the culture
that's part of their
generation in the ballet
and in the art
form that they do.
I like to work with popular
music and I like to work
with music that an audience,
that will draw an
audience to the ballet
maybe for the first time.
- [Man] At first when I heard
the music I was like, whoa,
this is something else.
- I remember the first day
when Margo had thrown it on
and we're all like,
are you kidding me?
This is going to be great,
this is going to
be fun, you know?
- Bringing popular music
into the ballet world
and it was something
that I was pushing for
because I thought it
was very important
to bring young people
in to the ballet and make
them come to the ballet.
It wasn't just about
Tchaikovsky, and
Mozart, and Bach.
It was about music that
they knew and understood.
- I mean, I think that
the marriage of the two,
classical technique and
some modern influence
along with pop music
is a really great blend
and I get really inspired by it.
- There's a lot of
choreographers today
who are using popular music.
I saw a piece with music by
Rufus Wainwright recently
and it worked tremendously well.
People have used the Beatles,
they've used the Rolling Stones.
- As far as the audience goes,
I think there's so much
more they can relate to
if they don't know
classical music that well
or if they don't know
ballet, all of a sudden
it's this thing where they
can actually hear lyrics
and they can relate
to that as well
as just relating to the
movement that they see.
- With the movements they're
changing, the movements
are becoming more modern
and we're mixing modern
and ballet together
with a ballet based technique
and bringing things up to date.
Bringing things forward.
- When you look at Margo's piece
using William Shatner's
words and Ben's music,
you think this could
be the future of dance.
Injuries are very common.
I mean this is a
sports industry.
One of our dancers injured
herself in the dress rehearsal.
- At the final dress, the dancer
who was dancing Ideal Woman
hurt her shoulder during one
of the lifts and was able
to continue to perform
the rest of the ballet
but not this particular piece.
Jackie who was her understudy
stepped up to the plate
and was the one who
ended up having to do
the performances of Ideal Woman.
We had to work in the
theater, we had no chance
to go back to the
studio to rehearse.
She had to do all her
rehearsals onstage.
She had done all
the lifts separately
but she'd never done them
together in a sequence
one after the other
and they come off fast.
They're really one
after the other.
She took a deep breath
and did what dancers
are supposed to do.
She stepped up to the plate
and she hit a home run.
I want you to be you
["Ideal Woman" by
William Shatner]
Don't change
Because you think I might
like you to be different
I fell in love with you
I don't want you blonde
I don't want
you not to swear
Not to swear
It's you I fell in love with
Your turn of phrase
your sensitivity
Your irrational moves
Well maybe that could go
But everything else
I want you to be you
I want you to dance
whenever you feel it
Up by the bandstand
In the parking lot
Up on the table
Well maybe the
table could go
But I want you to be you
I love what you wear
'cause you're wearing it
That shawl
That clinging dress
The svelte black jacket
Those leopard capris
Well maybe not the capris
But I want you to be you
I love what you eat
You want yogurt
You got yogurt
Papaya
It's yours
Chewing gum
Chew away
I just want you to be you
Spit out the gum
it doesn't work
Cha cha cha
When you sleep you
are the most beautiful
In the moonlight
your soft skin glows
Your hair sprawled on
the pillow a vision
The murmuring breath
The slight snore
The slight snore
I want you to be you
I think what you've hit on
is exactly what we should do.
The thought was Henry might
take a moment, some moments
to think about what he's,
what he can't get behind.
Has Been has been a
unique experience for me.
I was,
fully conscious,
which I don't think I was
back in the Transformed Man.
I was sort of unaware
but here I was aware.
I was aware of what
could be jeopardized,
I mean, reputation-wise.
I was aware of,
not feeling adequate.
I was aware
of the adventure
of this thing that
was in front of me.
Making music with
musical greats.
Then Ben started bringing people
in who were great artists,
world recognized
artists on this album.
- On that last take I...
- [Ben] Henry is our
generation's popular
spoken word artist.
- We just pick up right
in just so we never stop.
- I thought how
cool would that be
to get those guys
screaming at each other.
- We thought, how about
I Can't Get Behind.
He says, "Oh, that's great."
He started writing
some of his own stuff
and we incorporated the stuff
I wrote, some that he wrote.
- We kept this
beautiful thing going.
He said, "I'm like, and
he's like, and she's like.
"It's all, he's
all, and she's all."
I wrote some things that I
can't get behind and we do it
as a call and response.
- Leave me the hell alone!
- Eat more, spend less!
- Hey the Colonel is
breakdancing, give me a break!
- Drink responsibly!
- I can't get
behind any of that!
- That's Henry Rollins and
Bill in a shouting match.
It was the first, that was the
first collaboration I dreamed
of for this record
when I talked to Bill.
- It became an
explosion of rhythm.
[imitates drumming]
Rhythm.
Rhythm.
[imitates drumming]
And we're all in it together.
- I can't get behind that!
- I can't get behind that!
- We're taking the rhythm
of the Skins into our lyrics
and we're changing the lyrics
and we're going around.
Spam
Size matters
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't!
Yes it does
- Rhythm of speech is
where everything is.
I can't get behind that
Me neither
Everybody knows
everything about all of us
That's too much noise
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
- William Shatner and you?
Huh?
I was like, I know, man.
- Because I'm bewildered by
the world as it is right now,
bewildered that all of
us see this terrible fate
of the world coming
like a catastrophe.
Like a tidal wave.
Oh my god, that's 100 feet high.
It's coming this way.
Maybe I should get
out of the way.
No! I think I'll watch it come.
That's what we're all doing.
We're in a catastrophe
that's about to happen
and oh wow, well maybe
there's a catastrophe.
Maybe we should do
something about it.
I can't get behind any of that.
Let's go, ready
From the top
["I Can't Get Behind
That" by William Shatner]
My favorite shows on TV have
twelve minutes of advertising
I can't get behind
that kind of time
Eat quickly, drive faster,
make more money now
I can't get behind that
My kids say
He said to me, and I'm like,
and he's like, and she's like
It's all, he's
all, she's all
I can't get behind that
kind of like, English
That'll be six to eight
weeks before delivery
The rising oceans, the
warming temperatures
The dying polar bears
No, tigers, in fifty years
Rising poison in
the air and water
I can't understand why the
price of gas suddenly rises
When oil goes up
But takes months to go
down long after oil falls
I can't get
behind any of that
I can't get behind the Gods
Who are more vengeful,
angry, and dangerous
If you don't believe in them
Why can't all these
Gods just get along
I mean they're omnipotent
and omnipresent
What's the problem
What's the problem
What about the men
who say, do as I do
Believe in what I say for
your own good or I'll kill you
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
Everybody knows
everything about all of us
That's too much knowledge
I can't get behind that
I can't get behind that
Yeah
And what about student drivers
using my streets to learn
If you learn to play the drums
you got to go to a studio
Go to a parking
lot for God's sake
Why are you
jeopardizing my life
I can't get behind
a student driver
I can't behind a driver who
drives like a student driver
If you're going to drive
an urban assault vehicle
Then get off the phone and
keep your eyes on the road
Lifetime guarantee
Whose lifetime, not mine
I haven't that
much time left
Let's make it yours
Everybody's got a
longer life than me
The leaf blowers
Is there anything
more futile
Car alarms
Clap off
Clap on
Spam
Size matters
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
No it doesn't
Yes it does
My phone rings
Make millions in minutes
It's a computer
Lose inches in hours
Leave me the hell alone
Eat more spend less
The Colonel is breakdancing
Give me a break
Credit terms raised
I can't get
behind any of that
I can't get behind
so-called singers
That can't carry a tune,
get paid for talking
How easy is that
Well maybe I could
get behind that
Well I can't If you have
to fix it with a computer
Quantized, pitch corrected,
and overly inspected
Then you can't do it
And I can't get behind that
I can't get behind a fat ass
[audience laughing]
- Man, talk about, like
ahead of the curve.
It's basically the world
is caught up with Shatner.
The world kind of went,
"Damn, you've been
laughing the whole time."
- Did I throw you somewhat?
On the airplane
going to Nashville,
still with my notebook in hand
and I haven't finished writing.
I read, I just finished
something with an actress
and the actress whether
she had said it or not
but it wasn't a tabloid,
"Oh, I didn't want to take a
picture with that has-been."
Me.
Wow.
Has-been.
I've never been referred
to as a has-been before.
What a pity.
And then I thought, has-been,
what's wrong with
being a has-been?
I mean you got to stop doing
something at some point.
Even if you're just going to
die, fall down, I'm dying.
Yeah, but now you're
a has-been, dead.
I mean, it just,
you can't keep going at the
pace you go at when you're 20
but maybe you didn't do
anything when you were 20
and maybe you're
a one hit wonder.
But a one hit wonder
hit a great song
or maybe you just were
successful making a pancake.
A great pancake and never
able to repeat the pancake
but you did it once.
I never understood the word
has-been and I examined it.
Ben in his genius said,
"Let's make it a Western."
Huh?
["Has Been"]
Has Been
You talkin' to me
You talkin' to me
You calling me has been
What'd you say your name is
Jack
Never Done Jack
Glad to meet ya,
who's your friend
Dick
Don't Say Dick
What do ya know
And you friend
what's your handle
Don
Two Thumbs Don
Riding on their armchairs
They dream of
wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game
Never Done Jack
and Two Thumbs Don
And sidekick Don't Say Dick
Will laugh at
others failures
Though they have
not done shit
I've heard of you
The ready made connecting
with the ever ready
Yeah
Never was talking
about still trying
I got it
Forever better gossiping
about never say die
May I inquire about what
you've been doing mister
Jack
Never Done Jack
And you partner
What's the news
of the world, Dick
I don't say Dick
Don of all the people
you must be the tattler
Two Thumbs Don
What are you
afraid of failure
So am I
Has been
Has been
Has been implies failure
Has been
Not so
Has been's history
Has been was
Has been
Has been
Might again
[audience applause]
We make decisions on our
life from instant to instant
constantly filled with the
apprehension that we don't
know what we're doing.
That is this the
right decision to make
or is this not the
right decision?
We never know.
The decision that you
make today may not worth
the right decision an
instant later, a day later,
a week later.
So you've got to
forgive yourself and
you make the decision
based on the resonance of
how it feels that moment.
You make a decision.
Yes I will do to that
movie, in my case.
Yes I will make that record,
yes I will write that song.
Grecian urn
Frequently it turns out
to be the wrong decision.
Are you then to say I
made the wrong decision,
I better stop
Midwest turn
making decisions?
Or do you say okay, I
made the wrong decision
there
but it shouldn't prevent me
from making another
decision now.
By the way
Together
that decision which is
wrong, I got over here,
now I'm in the wrong place
but maybe if I go
from here to there
which I couldn't
get to from there
before I made that decision,
maybe if I get here will
be the right decision.
And so it becomes a series
of interconnected dots.
That's the story of your life.
The series of interconnected
dots of decision.
As you go to put the
last dot and fall over,
that's your life.
- When I heard the interview
with William Shatner
on NPR about Has
Been, I thought wow,
he's venturing out.
He's going somewhere else.
This is really fantastic.
- So we wrote a poem
to each other...
- In this time in his life that
he's taken all these steps,
Boston Legal and this CD,
then also gave me the
courage to find him,
to call him and say,
not just say, oh gee wouldn't
it be nice to do a ballet
to this piece and let
it sort of drift away
and be forgotten.
It was just an idea.
Now here it was
a completed piece
with the audience loving it,
the dancers loving it
and we love it too.
["Together"]
Together
Together they say
A breath renewed
Everyday
With you
Our arms
Are moved
We are not alone
Not unloved
Together
We're ready