Willy's Wonderland (2021) Movie Script
2
Hey, kids.
You know what time it is?
It's birthday time!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
That's right.
Here at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Carl!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
Ah.
Yeah, I tell everybody
that attempts the 50,
there ain't shit out here,
but you gotta be prepared
for anything.
A bunch of fun-loving kids
stole the zigzag
out of the back of the
sheriff's pickup a month ago.
Guess you found it for 'em.
You know what some folks
consider funny?
Just ruin
a man's whole damn day.
God's honest truth.
Now, where'd you say
you're from?
Oh, you're one of those guys
that don't wanna look back,
huh?
You're one where the past lives
in the past, huh?
Yeah, I understand.
No, I can't blame you.
I mean, we all got
so much baggage.
I just say, move forward.
You're a rolling stone.
Yup.
We had a car chase around here
a while back.
Some boy got up
to 150 miles an hour,
just launched it right off
Tension's Peak, man.
It's like a superhero.
It went fwoom!
Carnage was terrible.
It was just... wow.
Oh, fuck me.
- Will you just stop it?
- Open the door!
I'll open the damn door.
What the hell
is wrong with you?
No!
God damn it.
Hey Jed, what's up?
This old boy had
the misfortune
of finding your zigzags
out there.
I figured
I'd bring 'em back to you.
- He all right?
- Yeah, he'll be all right.
Tire's not, but he'll be fine.
He had this pretty Camaro
right here.
Yes, yes, it was
that ocean blue...
Jed, I'll come by
and get 'em later.
All turning around,
spinning out, everything.
He just slid right in there
and then pop, pop...
I don't have time
for this today, okay?
Yes, ma'am.
- Take this off me.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
There's not a chance in hell
I'm letting you out
of this trailer tonight.
I hate you.
Oh, talk sweet to me
all you want.
Get down.
You know the drill. Get down.
- Get out of my way.
- Come here.
What the hell are you doing?
- Wait.
- I'll be back in the morning.
What... how the hell
am I supposed to eat?
How am I supposed
to take a piss?
There are chips
is on the coffee table
and a bucket on the floor.
Try not to make a mess.
You're a bitch.
Oh, I love you too.
Hey, it's gonna be
about $250 for the tow,
and we'll need
all four tires replaced.
And there was something wrong
with that chip, I think.
But I can fix it
for about $1,000.
Yep.
No, cash only. Uh-uh, no.
And in advance.
Yeah, I don't take
no plastic credit cards.
Oh, that over there.
Yeah, we ain't got
no internet in Hayesville.
Yeah, so all the ATMs,
they just don't work.
Yeah, we were gonna get it,
but they just didn't.
You ain't got the cash, huh?
Now ain't that a dilly
of a pickle?
Hmm.
You willing to work it off?
Okay, then.
I think I've got somebody
who can accommodate.
Hey, kid.
I got a guy for you.
You want god to laugh,
you tell him your plans.
Howdy there, partner.
My name is Tex,
same as the state.
Got the handle Macadoo.
Welcome to Willy's Wonderland.
- Yeah, he don't talk much.
- And I respect that.
I enjoy a man of few words.
Well, business is not
what it used to be,
but I am fixing to reopen
and make Willy's
better than ever.
Anyway, enough horseshit.
Here's my offer.
You spend the night
cleaning Willy's Wonderland
and I will pay
to have your car fixed.
I go on in tomorrow,
you come out of there,
and your ride will be
ready for you right there.
Deal?
If not, I got places to be.
All right. All right.
Let's go inside.
Good luck, mister.
Watch your step.
Check this out.
Hey kids,
it's Willy the Weasel.
Welcome to my wonderland.
Come on down
and meet the gang.
We've got Arty the Alligator,
Siren Sara,
Cammy the Chameleon,
Gus Gorilla,
Knighty Knight,
Ozzie the Ostrich,
and Tito the Turtle.
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
We had some great times.
Kids laughing, smiling,
eating hot dogs,
opening presents.
You know the story, right?
Well, some of these
little bastards start crawling
over the characters,
they get hurt.
A couple of lawsuits later
from Mommy Safety Organizations
and wham, bam, thank you ma'am,
we're out of business.
Shut us right down.
Damn thing always gets jammed.
Yeah.
This stuff oughta do the trick.
Broom, mop, bucket,
drain snake,
Windex, rags,
whatever you need, we got it.
Oh, lookee here.
Congratulations.
You are officially on staff.
Well, pal,
it's gonna be dark soon.
I'll be back in the morning
with that car of yours
dapper and ready to drive
or my name is not Tex Macadoo.
Help yourself to whatever
you can find in the kitchen.
It's on the house.
And be sure to take breaks.
Always good to pace yourself.
That's it.
Good luck.
Damn.
I thought you quit.
My last one.
Piece of shit.
All right,
let's get the hell outta here.
I can't stand to hear
a grown man scream.
- Liv, you in there?
- Oh, shit.
Yeah, I'm in here.
Can you help me out?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, calm down, dude.
No need to be a superhero.
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Oh, damn it! Oh!
Nice one, genius.
The door was unlocked.
How am I supposed
to know that?
Oh, shit.
Let me see if we can find
something
to get you out of that.
She gave you a bucket?
Bitch is wicked.
- Liv, you okay?
- Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just...
I found a screwdriver.
What the hell are we gonna do
with a screwdriver?
Have y'all never worn
handcuffs before?
Oh, shut up.
Why not just look
for the key?
What the hell am I looking
in the fridge for?
God, these eggs are
definitely bad.
We need, like, a saw
or a pliers or something.
- Pliers?
- Can't find no key in here.
- Shut up and find something.
- You shut up!
You ain't had no handcuffs on.
Gee, thanks for the help, guys.
- Cool. We good.
- Yo.
Come on. We're late.
I saw the bait already.
Where?
Well, he was with Jed
in his truck.
Probably locked inside Willy's
by now.
Well, let's roll out.
I wanna see that bitch burn.
Yeah, burn, baby, burn.
Wait, guys, this isn't
for your entertainment, okay?
It's for doing what's right.
It's gotta be
a little entertaining.
Look, I wanna see
them freak bastards die
for what I see 'em do.
Shut up, dude.
What have you seen them do?
Remember that one time
I was...
Okay, shut up.
Guys.
If we're doing this,
we're gonna do this
as a mission,
not a field trip.
Are you with me or not?
Yeah, we're with you, Liv.
Whatever you say.
Yeah.
All right. Let's do this.
I'm gonna feast on your face!
Sheriff, if I may,
why'd you request the state
to send backup for one night
to curfew a place
the size of a postage stamp?
Oh, don't get me wrong.
I got a wife and kid on the way
and I do love the overtime pay.
- Double overtime.
- Right.
So what's the plan
the rest of the evening?
- See that phone?
- Yeah.
We're gonna sit here
and pray it don't ring.
Copy that.
To the beat
Whistle loud, whistle low
Sway your hips
and here we go
- Hey, Tito.
- Hola, Willy.
I hear that there's
a birthday boy
in the audience tonight.
S, Willy.
Cantamos.
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
Let's play hide and seek.
You'll never find me
I'm gonna eat your eyes out
and then feast on your soul.
You're as icy as an igloo.
Happy day.
You're getting warmer.
You're as hot
as a pancake on a grill
and just as yummy.
Gorilla greetings.
That tickles.
But we were friends.
Ah.
- Hey, Chris.
- What?
Can you pour gas
literally anywhere else?
I'm sorry you pour
like crap, Aaron.
You're pouring gas
on top of my gas.
All right,
let me go over here
- and I'll just paint the bush.
- Perfect. Thank you.
Hey, you blowing bubbles?
Bring your ass.
You forgot the lighter,
didn't you?
No, I didn't.
- Then let me see it.
- Oh, my God.
There you go.
Yeah, all right.
Wait, wait, wait.
Uh-uh. Not yet.
That guy's still in there.
We gotta get him out first.
Hey, sir! Sir!
You're not safe in there.
We gotta get you out.
- Hey!
- Well, that was rude.
Hey, look,
if he don't wanna be safe,
it's his ass, not ours.
Tough shit.
I'm getting him out
whether he likes it or not.
You wanna go in there
with those things?
Are you high?
Look, if he wanna
be cremated,
- that's his business.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry,
but I'm just not okay
with letting somebody
burn alive in there
if we can do something
about it.
- She's right.
- Of course she is, Chris.
Oh, shut up!
Hurry this shit up
so we can go home.
I'll figure out
how to get inside,
but I'm not putting
you guys in danger.
You just figure out
how to get us out once I do.
Okay.
I didn't even know
you smoked.
Where'd you get this?
I grew it myself.
I call it No Clue.
- How much THC is in it?
- No clue.
- What?
- I'm cold.
I've waited so long
for a girl to play with.
- Wanna see my treehouse?
- Uh-uh.
Not today, girlfriend.
Ow.
Come play with me.
Ring around the rosie
A pocketful of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall
Holy shit.
Guys, that was Liv.
We gotta go after her.
I'm out this bitch.
Y'all playing.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Both: Bobby!
What?
Are y'all serious right now?
We supposed to go in there
and get killed too?
You wanna stay here?
We gotta do something.
No, I actually wanna leave,
and I thought y'all might
want to also, but I don't care.
- Fine. I'll go.
- No, no, I'll go.
No, wait... hey, stop, stop.
This is Liv
we're talking about.
- Move out of the way.
- What? No!
Damn!
Hey, hey. Whoa, hey.
Y'all look away.
Baby, God damn.
Hey, y'all back up, man.
Thank God you're still alive.
We gotta get you outta here.
I stopped that bitch,
but that won't keep her away
for long, so...
hey!
Did you not hear
what I just said?
Hey!
We go in, fast, we split up,
and as soon as we find Liv
and this janitor dude,
we're out.
- Hmm.
- What, Aaron?
We just don't need any more
Batman bullshit, all right?
Okay. Thank you.
Yeah, I know.
It's only going to make it
less safe for everyone else.
You mean
kinda like Liv just did?
Excuse me?
Say what you gotta say.
Speak up.
Now's the time, Dan.
You ain't gonna say it?
Do you guys have
something in mind?
Hell yeah, we do.
Everything you telling us
not to do,
that's exactly what your dream
girl got us up here doing.
And now we probably all getting
fucked up because of it.
- Bobby.
- What?
Am I lying?
No, I'm not. It's the truth.
- Fine. I'll just go myself.
- Oh, whatever, Chris.
When are you getting it through
your thick-ass skull, huh?
Kissing that ass
ain't gonna get you
that ass, playboy.
It'll more than likely
get you killed,
and ain't nobody,
except for you, baby,
worth none of this bullshit
you got us up here doing.
So you know what?
I'm out this bitch.
Baby, let's go.
No, Chris! Chris!
Oh, shit!
Bobby!
- God damn!
- Everybody okay?
- Yeah.
- Nice of you guys to join us.
Wait, what are you guys
doing here?
Oh, my God.
Liv, you're alive.
I thought we all agreed you
were supposed to stay outside
and help us find a way out.
Yeah, uh...
Now how the hell are we
supposed to get out of here?
I tried to keep 'em
on the roof,
but they wouldn't listen.
It's your fault
we were on the roof.
- It's my fault?
- It was your fault.
Guys, guys, it's happening.
It's happening now.
Oh, that's the nasty bitch
that tried to kill me.
Liv.
We're all friends
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What are you doing?
- Hey, what the hell, man?
- What are you... dude!
Put her down, okay?
I'm trying to help you,
you dumbass!
Seriously?
I'm trying
to help him understand
that he's gonna die in here,
but he won't listen to me.
Sing, sing, sing
Wait a second.
Wasn't there eight of them?
We're all friends
- We like to run
- Oh, that's badass.
Run, run, run
to the beat of the drum
Oh, this is good.
We're connecting.
We're sharing our feelings.
We're all friends
We like to dance
Dance, dance, dance
Like there's ants
in our pants
Whoa.
Have you been
to my Super Happy Fun Room yet?
This is cool.
Well, what are you
waiting for?
The Super Happy Fun Room
is super happy fun
- Yo. Look.
- Join us in the Fun Room
Where you'll be number one
- Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs
- Let's go.
Soda and candy too
The Super Happy Fun Room
I know the bullshit story
they told you.
That if you clean up
the place tonight,
they'll pay to have your tires
fixed by morning, right?
It's a lie.
They've said the same story
to countless other
over the last 20 years.
They baited you.
You're here
to be a human sacrifice.
You're here to be eaten
and killed.
Do you understand that?
This town has a dark history.
And it all starts
with this horrible place.
You know, Willy's may seem
like a happy-go-lucky
child's play place,
but it's much, much more
than that.
Willy's was built in 1996,
the brainchild
of Jerry Robert Willis.
If that name sounds familiar
to you, it should.
Jerry was
one of the last century's
most sick and sadistic
serial killers.
Jerry spent most of the time
cultivating similar sickos.
I mean, these were
the most depraved people
you could ever imagine.
Often, Jerry
and his crew would
whisk away
unsuspecting families
to the Super Happy Fun Room.
Once inside,
the families would be treated
to a birthday cake
and a private show
by Willy Weasel.
The shows would always end
the same way.
After numerous
missing persons reports
and suspicious smells coming
from the inside of Willy's,
the law felt it was time
to investigate.
Jerry and his gang refused
to be taken alive.
After the police
finally entered
the Super Happy Fun Room,
they discovered
that Jerry and his crew
had performed
a satanic suicide ritual.
Instead of surrendering,
the killers decided
to take their own lives.
Those familiar
with satanic rituals speculate
that the suicide ritual
was some sort of a Katra
transfer of energy
where the memory
and consciousness
of the living
relocate into
non-living entities.
In this case,
the animatronic robots.
Ten years later,
Willy's reopens
with a new owner, Tex Macadoo.
He tries to keep
the current public
unaware of its horrific past.
Things are wrong
from the start.
There's reports
that the creatures would
move on their own.
Some would say things
they weren't programmed
to say.
Wanna fuck, fatty?
And others would kill
and feast on customers.
After several
ghastly incidents,
Willy's closes
its doors again.
But Tex still doesn't
bulldoze it to the ground.
Why, you may ask?
Because Willy got to him.
Convinced him to make a deal
with the devil.
Along with all those
other backwoods inbreds
in this sorry town.
Speaking of
backwoods inbreds,
where'd Bob and Kathy go?
Whoa.
This is where
it actually happened.
This is where those
kid killers offed themselves.
Oh.
Cool.
The fuck?
Okay, yeah, this is...
this is weird as fuck.
Yo, who the hell bringing
their kids up in here?
Shit, not my kids.
Not our kids.
Is it weird that I'm getting
really turned on right now?
Oh, you a freak freak.
It's never seemed
to bother you before.
Who says it bothers me now?
Hmm.
Happy birthday, baby.
It's not my birthday.
I still wanna see you
in your birthday suit.
Have you been listening
to a word I've been saying?
Look at all these
naughty birthday boys
- and birthday girls.
- Oh, shit.
I think it's time for them
to go nightie night.
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's kill everyone
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
One happy weasel says,
"It's dinner time"
Six little chickens
oughta be just fine
Six little chickens
in the weasel's den
Four little roosters
and a couple of hens
Nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
Six little chickens
Watch out, now!
Six little chickens
Here comes the weasel!
Six little chickens
running outta time
Whoops!
Five little chickens
at the end of the line
- Shit!
- What the... holy fuck!
Go. Leave. Leave!
Chris, go.
I'm sorry.
Why you stopping?
Has that thing
always been here?
Girl, that thing been
in every single room
we've been in.
It's on the wall right now.
Come on, babe.
It's staring at us.
Well, then let's give it
a show.
What you talking about?
Come on.
Get nasty with it.
- Hayesville Sheriff's Office.
- Sheriff?
This is Sheriff Lund.
It's Chris Muley.
What can I
do you for, Chris?
Christ, I did
something stupid.
We're at Willy's.
Prank call.
You want me to get that?
People made their beds,
they gotta lie in 'em.
Pretty sure the saying is,
"Protect and Serve," Sheriff.
Shut your mouth, smart guy.
You're not funny.
Liv brought us here.
Son of a bitch.
Get your asses
out of there, son.
Put your balls on, Evan.
We're going to Willy's.
Bobby, that thing just moved!
Where the fuck did it go?
No! No!
I really need you to help me
find my friends.
Please.
Oh, my God. Kathy!
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Hello, little boy.
You don't have to be
afraid of me.
I'm not the same as the others.
They're so mean to me.
They call me ugly
and they make fun
of my colorful skin.
I'm trapped in this body.
I just want to be free.
I guess I don't expect you
to believe me.
I hoped
that you were different.
I'm Chris.
Trust me, Chris.
You know you can.
You can feel my goodness.
If what you're saying
is true,
and you're not like
the others...
I could help you
get to the next life?
It's true.
Evil has kept me here.
You must have questions.
I can tell you so much
about the other side.
I can answer
all your questions.
If you can help me.
You ever use your sidearm?
Oh. In training.
But these are just
punk kids, right?
What, vandalizing
and loitering?
I doubt we'll need to drop 'em.
It's not the kids.
It's Willy.
The dancing rat?
Okay.
I get it. I get it.
The boys told you
to pull a fast one on me.
Bravo. Nice try.
It ain't no prank.
This is real as it gets.
I guaran-damn-tee you that.
See, in town, we knew
what was happening at Willy's.
We knew there was something
supernatural going on.
We bellowed
to the high heavens
that the machines were evil.
No one believed us.
They thought we were yokels.
Tex eventually hired
a demolition crew
to destroy Willy's,
except the day before
bulldozers were set to roll,
Eric Miller, the contractor,
was found in bed
as chewed up
as a McDonald's hamburger.
His whole family too.
After that,
there wasn't a man alive
that would take the job.
The town decided
that maybe it was better
to let sleeping dogs lie.
We told everybody
just to stay away from there.
We figured
we'd just let it rot.
But rabid dogs don't sleep
when they're hungry.
The machines got out.
We found bodies
at the ice cream shop,
the hardware store,
and even the school.
We had a real Hobson's choice
on our hands.
You know what that is?
No.
No choice at all.
We could either go to war
with the machines,
come off like crazy people,
probably lose
a lot of good folk
along the way, or...
Or what?
We cut a deal.
Leave our people be.
Leave our children be.
Leave our town be, and...
and we will feed you.
Well, the good news is,
I can fix it.
The bad news is,
it's gonna have to sit
till I get the part.
Now, Hayesville's
one hotel's booked.
But I do have a place
you can stay tonight.
Now, it ain't the Ritz,
but it's a roof
and it's free
if you're willing to do
a little light cleaning.
Best place for a birthday
party you've ever seen.
Heck, it once was,
but we're gonna fix it.
Bring her back to life.
Congratulations.
You are officially on staff.
We lived up to our end
of the bargain
and they kept theirs.
We tried to find people
who wouldn't be missed.
People with
low moral character.
And some people who were just at
the wrong place at the wrong time.
Things didn't always go
exactly as planned.
I usually pride myself
on being able to expect
the unexpected.
But sometimes,
life throws you a zinger.
Well, this was the zinger
of all zingers.
Good night, darling.
Sweet dreams.
I never saw it coming.
So that's why we're going?
Liv.
Much as she pisses me off,
I couldn't live
with losing that girl.
I can show you
what's on the other side.
If you could help me get there.
- Oh, Chris.
- Liv, Liv, it's gonna be okay.
Kay, we're gonna make a deal
and...
Wanna play, bitch?
Playtime's over now,
girlfriend.
Drop the lizard.
Get that stuff off of her.
Willy, I'm so sorry
about this prick.
Eloise, please, stop.
He's a good guy.
Shut your yap
and get outside.
They killed some of 'em.
Oh.
Stupid idiots.
It'll just incite him more.
Willy, this guy does not
act for us.
His actions should
in no way reflect
on the town of Hayesville.
You know that, right, Willy?
Well, cuff him.
For God's sakes, cuff him.
No way.
I'm not leaving him here.
I'll give you two reasons
why you are:
your wife and your kid.
If we don't do
what needs to be done,
nobody in this county is safe.
Why couldn't you just die?
Where are the others?
They're dead.
Stupid kids.
Do you see?
Okay, time to go.
- Go.
- No. Uh-uh.
I'm not leaving without him.
I'm not giving you a choice.
Go.
- I'm not leaving without him.
- Get out of here.
You don't understand.
You've locked the wrong guy up
in here.
He's not trapped
in here with them.
They're trapped in here
with him.
Not for much longer.
I'm sorry son.
Is that what you did
to my parents?
You're a monster.
What do we do now?
Well, I'm gonna wait here
until this problem
solves itself.
You drop her off in a cell,
come back, and get me.
Should be done by then.
Hey, cowboy.
Ready for a little
mnage trois?
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
And eyes and ears
and mouth and nose
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins
Arms and chins
- You can't arrest me
- Can and will.
Breaking and entering,
destruction of property,
and I'm pretty sure that was
a dead body on the floor.
What's worse,
the dead body you saw,
or the guy
that you left to die?
Are you ready to be a murderer?
Because that's
exactly what you're gonna be.
You're gonna be
a cold-blooded...
Shut up! I ain't no murderer.
Then what are you?
You're complicit.
You're just another cult member
recruited by the sheriff
to do all of her dirty work.
I ain't no cult member
and I ain't no murderer.
And how 'bout you, huh?
Living with the sheriff
all these years,
all this going on,
what have you done?
You don't know what it's like
living with her.
My entire life,
it's like I've been a ghost.
And no matter what I do,
it doesn't change who she is.
So I thought maybe
I could do something right
and burn
this fucking place down.
So I am doing something.
What about you?
Hmm?
You just gonna sit there
and watch all of this happen
and not do anything about it?
I'm gonna set things right.
That's what I'm
goddamn gonna do.
You'll see.
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins
Arms and chins
And eyes and ears
and mouth and chins
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins, arms and
Oh, my God!
Evan!
Give me the keys.
Give me the fucking keys.
Shit.
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
And eyes and ears
and mouth and hips
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
And eyes and ears
and mouth and nose
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Sucks to be you, chica.
Sucks to be you, pendejo.
No!
Ay! Oi!
Por favor, no ms.
No ms.
No ms.
No ms, por favor.
Por favor, no ms.
No ms.
Damn stupid kids.
When the daylight's gone
And you find
yourself alone
Standing face to face
Against the coming storm
There's no promise
I can make to you
To take your fears away
We just need to last
the night alone
And pray we'll see the day
At Willy's Wonderland
I'm taking you
To Willy's Wonderland
It's nothing new
At Willy's Wonderland
Can you make it through?
At Willy's Wonderland
That G-D-S-O-B.
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
Hold it right there, boy.
Inside, now!
Move!
We had a good thing,
but you just went
and fucked it all up.
Look at me.
Look at me
when I'm talking to you.
All you had to do was die.
Was that so hard?
No, you just had to go ahead
and stay alive,
and now we got five dead kids
because of you!
You might have taken apart
a few electronics,
but I got a feeling
that you can't stop a round.
Willy!
Willy needs to eat,
and I'm gonna feed him.
Willy, come and get it!
Hey, kids, do you know
what time it is?
It's birthday time.
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
Okay, now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you
to Willy's
Where everyone's
your friend
That's right!
Here
at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Birthday fun for everyone
How old are you today?
Everyone at Willy's
is home
- And you will stay
- Forever.
It's birthday time,
it's birthday time
It's birthday time,
let's cheer
At Willy's
Wonderland
Proudly serving families
since 1984.
Whoo!
Now that is a whole lot
of fun right there.
- Yes, sir.
- Tires are good to go.
Even tuned her up for you.
Always nice to add
another toy to the collection.
Take a peek yet?
I was waiting for you.
I ain't going in there.
Pussy.
Who are you calling a pussy?
Son of a bitch.
Oh, shit.
I'll be God damned.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still
remember me?
For I must be
travelling on now
'Cause there's
too many places
I've got to see
But if I stay here
with you, girl
Things just couldn't be
the same
'Cause I'm as free
as a bird now
And this bird
you cannot change
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And the bird
you cannot change
And this bird
you cannot change
I gotta tell you,
my hat's off.
That is one tough hombre.
Whoo!
- Well, it's over.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God, it's actually
over!
Hell yeah, it is, boy.
Hell yeah, it is.
Hey, come on.
I'm gonna give you a ride
We gonna celebrate.
I'm buying.
- Sounds good.
- It's our lucky day.
Oh, man.
Hey, with the machines gone,
I just might
actually reopen it.
You gonna need a gimmick.
And a name.
Maybe Tex's Turf.
That could sing.
Maybe get you
a mechanical bull.
- Yeah.
- Draw the customers in.
Yeah, yeah, I just...
I just might.
Oh, fuck me.
Thanks for visiting
Willy's Wonderland.
Hope you hand
a fantabulous time.
And remember, friends,
the party never ends.
At Willy's Wonderland
Clap your hands
and stomp your feet
Snap your fingers
to the beat
Whistle loud, whistle low
Sway your hips
and here we go
Hey, kids, do you know
what time it is?
It's birthday time!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay, now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
That's right.
Here
at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Birthday fun for everyone
How old are you today?
Everyone at Willy's
is home
- And you will stay
- Forever.
It's birthday time,
it's birthday time
It's birthday time,
let's cheer
At Willy's Wonderland
Proudly serving families
since 1984.
When the daylight's gone
And you find
yourself alone
Standing face to face
Against the coming storm
There's no promise
I can make to you
To take your fears away
We just need to last
the night alone
And pray we'll see the day
At Willy's Wonderland
I'm taking you
To Willy's Wonderland
It's nothing new
At Willy's Wonderland
Can you make it through?
At Willy's Wonderland
There's an empty stage
And a body on the floor
Willy's on the prowl
We can't hide
from them much more
So take a breath
and close your eyes
The shadow's on the wall
We just need
to make it out alive
Before they kill us all
At Willy's Wonderland
Okay, now, kids,
I want you to clap your hands.
Willy's Wonderland
You can run,
but you can't hide.
At Willy's Wonderland
Have you been to my
Super Happy Fun Room yet?
At Willy's Wonderland
Then what are you
waiting for?
Driving fast
down slow roads
That's just the way I roll
I'm a moving train,
I'm falling rain
Free from heavy loads
Love the sound
an engine makes
The wind against my face
I'm a lightning bolt,
a blue steel Colt
I run but never race
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Love me or leave me,
it's all the same
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Tears in my rearview
fading away
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Don't tie me to a post
Put a saddle on my back
The road's my home,
I travel alone
Light is how I pack
I rarely say a word
I try to tell the truth
I'm ready to fight
to make wrong right
I'm tied until I'm loose
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Love me or leave me,
it's all the same
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Tears in my rearview
fading away
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Hey, kids.
You know what time it is?
It's birthday time!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
That's right.
Here at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Carl!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
Ah.
Yeah, I tell everybody
that attempts the 50,
there ain't shit out here,
but you gotta be prepared
for anything.
A bunch of fun-loving kids
stole the zigzag
out of the back of the
sheriff's pickup a month ago.
Guess you found it for 'em.
You know what some folks
consider funny?
Just ruin
a man's whole damn day.
God's honest truth.
Now, where'd you say
you're from?
Oh, you're one of those guys
that don't wanna look back,
huh?
You're one where the past lives
in the past, huh?
Yeah, I understand.
No, I can't blame you.
I mean, we all got
so much baggage.
I just say, move forward.
You're a rolling stone.
Yup.
We had a car chase around here
a while back.
Some boy got up
to 150 miles an hour,
just launched it right off
Tension's Peak, man.
It's like a superhero.
It went fwoom!
Carnage was terrible.
It was just... wow.
Oh, fuck me.
- Will you just stop it?
- Open the door!
I'll open the damn door.
What the hell
is wrong with you?
No!
God damn it.
Hey Jed, what's up?
This old boy had
the misfortune
of finding your zigzags
out there.
I figured
I'd bring 'em back to you.
- He all right?
- Yeah, he'll be all right.
Tire's not, but he'll be fine.
He had this pretty Camaro
right here.
Yes, yes, it was
that ocean blue...
Jed, I'll come by
and get 'em later.
All turning around,
spinning out, everything.
He just slid right in there
and then pop, pop...
I don't have time
for this today, okay?
Yes, ma'am.
- Take this off me.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
There's not a chance in hell
I'm letting you out
of this trailer tonight.
I hate you.
Oh, talk sweet to me
all you want.
Get down.
You know the drill. Get down.
- Get out of my way.
- Come here.
What the hell are you doing?
- Wait.
- I'll be back in the morning.
What... how the hell
am I supposed to eat?
How am I supposed
to take a piss?
There are chips
is on the coffee table
and a bucket on the floor.
Try not to make a mess.
You're a bitch.
Oh, I love you too.
Hey, it's gonna be
about $250 for the tow,
and we'll need
all four tires replaced.
And there was something wrong
with that chip, I think.
But I can fix it
for about $1,000.
Yep.
No, cash only. Uh-uh, no.
And in advance.
Yeah, I don't take
no plastic credit cards.
Oh, that over there.
Yeah, we ain't got
no internet in Hayesville.
Yeah, so all the ATMs,
they just don't work.
Yeah, we were gonna get it,
but they just didn't.
You ain't got the cash, huh?
Now ain't that a dilly
of a pickle?
Hmm.
You willing to work it off?
Okay, then.
I think I've got somebody
who can accommodate.
Hey, kid.
I got a guy for you.
You want god to laugh,
you tell him your plans.
Howdy there, partner.
My name is Tex,
same as the state.
Got the handle Macadoo.
Welcome to Willy's Wonderland.
- Yeah, he don't talk much.
- And I respect that.
I enjoy a man of few words.
Well, business is not
what it used to be,
but I am fixing to reopen
and make Willy's
better than ever.
Anyway, enough horseshit.
Here's my offer.
You spend the night
cleaning Willy's Wonderland
and I will pay
to have your car fixed.
I go on in tomorrow,
you come out of there,
and your ride will be
ready for you right there.
Deal?
If not, I got places to be.
All right. All right.
Let's go inside.
Good luck, mister.
Watch your step.
Check this out.
Hey kids,
it's Willy the Weasel.
Welcome to my wonderland.
Come on down
and meet the gang.
We've got Arty the Alligator,
Siren Sara,
Cammy the Chameleon,
Gus Gorilla,
Knighty Knight,
Ozzie the Ostrich,
and Tito the Turtle.
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
We had some great times.
Kids laughing, smiling,
eating hot dogs,
opening presents.
You know the story, right?
Well, some of these
little bastards start crawling
over the characters,
they get hurt.
A couple of lawsuits later
from Mommy Safety Organizations
and wham, bam, thank you ma'am,
we're out of business.
Shut us right down.
Damn thing always gets jammed.
Yeah.
This stuff oughta do the trick.
Broom, mop, bucket,
drain snake,
Windex, rags,
whatever you need, we got it.
Oh, lookee here.
Congratulations.
You are officially on staff.
Well, pal,
it's gonna be dark soon.
I'll be back in the morning
with that car of yours
dapper and ready to drive
or my name is not Tex Macadoo.
Help yourself to whatever
you can find in the kitchen.
It's on the house.
And be sure to take breaks.
Always good to pace yourself.
That's it.
Good luck.
Damn.
I thought you quit.
My last one.
Piece of shit.
All right,
let's get the hell outta here.
I can't stand to hear
a grown man scream.
- Liv, you in there?
- Oh, shit.
Yeah, I'm in here.
Can you help me out?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, calm down, dude.
No need to be a superhero.
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Oh, damn it! Oh!
Nice one, genius.
The door was unlocked.
How am I supposed
to know that?
Oh, shit.
Let me see if we can find
something
to get you out of that.
She gave you a bucket?
Bitch is wicked.
- Liv, you okay?
- Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just...
I found a screwdriver.
What the hell are we gonna do
with a screwdriver?
Have y'all never worn
handcuffs before?
Oh, shut up.
Why not just look
for the key?
What the hell am I looking
in the fridge for?
God, these eggs are
definitely bad.
We need, like, a saw
or a pliers or something.
- Pliers?
- Can't find no key in here.
- Shut up and find something.
- You shut up!
You ain't had no handcuffs on.
Gee, thanks for the help, guys.
- Cool. We good.
- Yo.
Come on. We're late.
I saw the bait already.
Where?
Well, he was with Jed
in his truck.
Probably locked inside Willy's
by now.
Well, let's roll out.
I wanna see that bitch burn.
Yeah, burn, baby, burn.
Wait, guys, this isn't
for your entertainment, okay?
It's for doing what's right.
It's gotta be
a little entertaining.
Look, I wanna see
them freak bastards die
for what I see 'em do.
Shut up, dude.
What have you seen them do?
Remember that one time
I was...
Okay, shut up.
Guys.
If we're doing this,
we're gonna do this
as a mission,
not a field trip.
Are you with me or not?
Yeah, we're with you, Liv.
Whatever you say.
Yeah.
All right. Let's do this.
I'm gonna feast on your face!
Sheriff, if I may,
why'd you request the state
to send backup for one night
to curfew a place
the size of a postage stamp?
Oh, don't get me wrong.
I got a wife and kid on the way
and I do love the overtime pay.
- Double overtime.
- Right.
So what's the plan
the rest of the evening?
- See that phone?
- Yeah.
We're gonna sit here
and pray it don't ring.
Copy that.
To the beat
Whistle loud, whistle low
Sway your hips
and here we go
- Hey, Tito.
- Hola, Willy.
I hear that there's
a birthday boy
in the audience tonight.
S, Willy.
Cantamos.
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
Let's play hide and seek.
You'll never find me
I'm gonna eat your eyes out
and then feast on your soul.
You're as icy as an igloo.
Happy day.
You're getting warmer.
You're as hot
as a pancake on a grill
and just as yummy.
Gorilla greetings.
That tickles.
But we were friends.
Ah.
- Hey, Chris.
- What?
Can you pour gas
literally anywhere else?
I'm sorry you pour
like crap, Aaron.
You're pouring gas
on top of my gas.
All right,
let me go over here
- and I'll just paint the bush.
- Perfect. Thank you.
Hey, you blowing bubbles?
Bring your ass.
You forgot the lighter,
didn't you?
No, I didn't.
- Then let me see it.
- Oh, my God.
There you go.
Yeah, all right.
Wait, wait, wait.
Uh-uh. Not yet.
That guy's still in there.
We gotta get him out first.
Hey, sir! Sir!
You're not safe in there.
We gotta get you out.
- Hey!
- Well, that was rude.
Hey, look,
if he don't wanna be safe,
it's his ass, not ours.
Tough shit.
I'm getting him out
whether he likes it or not.
You wanna go in there
with those things?
Are you high?
Look, if he wanna
be cremated,
- that's his business.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry,
but I'm just not okay
with letting somebody
burn alive in there
if we can do something
about it.
- She's right.
- Of course she is, Chris.
Oh, shut up!
Hurry this shit up
so we can go home.
I'll figure out
how to get inside,
but I'm not putting
you guys in danger.
You just figure out
how to get us out once I do.
Okay.
I didn't even know
you smoked.
Where'd you get this?
I grew it myself.
I call it No Clue.
- How much THC is in it?
- No clue.
- What?
- I'm cold.
I've waited so long
for a girl to play with.
- Wanna see my treehouse?
- Uh-uh.
Not today, girlfriend.
Ow.
Come play with me.
Ring around the rosie
A pocketful of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall
Holy shit.
Guys, that was Liv.
We gotta go after her.
I'm out this bitch.
Y'all playing.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Both: Bobby!
What?
Are y'all serious right now?
We supposed to go in there
and get killed too?
You wanna stay here?
We gotta do something.
No, I actually wanna leave,
and I thought y'all might
want to also, but I don't care.
- Fine. I'll go.
- No, no, I'll go.
No, wait... hey, stop, stop.
This is Liv
we're talking about.
- Move out of the way.
- What? No!
Damn!
Hey, hey. Whoa, hey.
Y'all look away.
Baby, God damn.
Hey, y'all back up, man.
Thank God you're still alive.
We gotta get you outta here.
I stopped that bitch,
but that won't keep her away
for long, so...
hey!
Did you not hear
what I just said?
Hey!
We go in, fast, we split up,
and as soon as we find Liv
and this janitor dude,
we're out.
- Hmm.
- What, Aaron?
We just don't need any more
Batman bullshit, all right?
Okay. Thank you.
Yeah, I know.
It's only going to make it
less safe for everyone else.
You mean
kinda like Liv just did?
Excuse me?
Say what you gotta say.
Speak up.
Now's the time, Dan.
You ain't gonna say it?
Do you guys have
something in mind?
Hell yeah, we do.
Everything you telling us
not to do,
that's exactly what your dream
girl got us up here doing.
And now we probably all getting
fucked up because of it.
- Bobby.
- What?
Am I lying?
No, I'm not. It's the truth.
- Fine. I'll just go myself.
- Oh, whatever, Chris.
When are you getting it through
your thick-ass skull, huh?
Kissing that ass
ain't gonna get you
that ass, playboy.
It'll more than likely
get you killed,
and ain't nobody,
except for you, baby,
worth none of this bullshit
you got us up here doing.
So you know what?
I'm out this bitch.
Baby, let's go.
No, Chris! Chris!
Oh, shit!
Bobby!
- God damn!
- Everybody okay?
- Yeah.
- Nice of you guys to join us.
Wait, what are you guys
doing here?
Oh, my God.
Liv, you're alive.
I thought we all agreed you
were supposed to stay outside
and help us find a way out.
Yeah, uh...
Now how the hell are we
supposed to get out of here?
I tried to keep 'em
on the roof,
but they wouldn't listen.
It's your fault
we were on the roof.
- It's my fault?
- It was your fault.
Guys, guys, it's happening.
It's happening now.
Oh, that's the nasty bitch
that tried to kill me.
Liv.
We're all friends
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What are you doing?
- Hey, what the hell, man?
- What are you... dude!
Put her down, okay?
I'm trying to help you,
you dumbass!
Seriously?
I'm trying
to help him understand
that he's gonna die in here,
but he won't listen to me.
Sing, sing, sing
Wait a second.
Wasn't there eight of them?
We're all friends
- We like to run
- Oh, that's badass.
Run, run, run
to the beat of the drum
Oh, this is good.
We're connecting.
We're sharing our feelings.
We're all friends
We like to dance
Dance, dance, dance
Like there's ants
in our pants
Whoa.
Have you been
to my Super Happy Fun Room yet?
This is cool.
Well, what are you
waiting for?
The Super Happy Fun Room
is super happy fun
- Yo. Look.
- Join us in the Fun Room
Where you'll be number one
- Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs
- Let's go.
Soda and candy too
The Super Happy Fun Room
I know the bullshit story
they told you.
That if you clean up
the place tonight,
they'll pay to have your tires
fixed by morning, right?
It's a lie.
They've said the same story
to countless other
over the last 20 years.
They baited you.
You're here
to be a human sacrifice.
You're here to be eaten
and killed.
Do you understand that?
This town has a dark history.
And it all starts
with this horrible place.
You know, Willy's may seem
like a happy-go-lucky
child's play place,
but it's much, much more
than that.
Willy's was built in 1996,
the brainchild
of Jerry Robert Willis.
If that name sounds familiar
to you, it should.
Jerry was
one of the last century's
most sick and sadistic
serial killers.
Jerry spent most of the time
cultivating similar sickos.
I mean, these were
the most depraved people
you could ever imagine.
Often, Jerry
and his crew would
whisk away
unsuspecting families
to the Super Happy Fun Room.
Once inside,
the families would be treated
to a birthday cake
and a private show
by Willy Weasel.
The shows would always end
the same way.
After numerous
missing persons reports
and suspicious smells coming
from the inside of Willy's,
the law felt it was time
to investigate.
Jerry and his gang refused
to be taken alive.
After the police
finally entered
the Super Happy Fun Room,
they discovered
that Jerry and his crew
had performed
a satanic suicide ritual.
Instead of surrendering,
the killers decided
to take their own lives.
Those familiar
with satanic rituals speculate
that the suicide ritual
was some sort of a Katra
transfer of energy
where the memory
and consciousness
of the living
relocate into
non-living entities.
In this case,
the animatronic robots.
Ten years later,
Willy's reopens
with a new owner, Tex Macadoo.
He tries to keep
the current public
unaware of its horrific past.
Things are wrong
from the start.
There's reports
that the creatures would
move on their own.
Some would say things
they weren't programmed
to say.
Wanna fuck, fatty?
And others would kill
and feast on customers.
After several
ghastly incidents,
Willy's closes
its doors again.
But Tex still doesn't
bulldoze it to the ground.
Why, you may ask?
Because Willy got to him.
Convinced him to make a deal
with the devil.
Along with all those
other backwoods inbreds
in this sorry town.
Speaking of
backwoods inbreds,
where'd Bob and Kathy go?
Whoa.
This is where
it actually happened.
This is where those
kid killers offed themselves.
Oh.
Cool.
The fuck?
Okay, yeah, this is...
this is weird as fuck.
Yo, who the hell bringing
their kids up in here?
Shit, not my kids.
Not our kids.
Is it weird that I'm getting
really turned on right now?
Oh, you a freak freak.
It's never seemed
to bother you before.
Who says it bothers me now?
Hmm.
Happy birthday, baby.
It's not my birthday.
I still wanna see you
in your birthday suit.
Have you been listening
to a word I've been saying?
Look at all these
naughty birthday boys
- and birthday girls.
- Oh, shit.
I think it's time for them
to go nightie night.
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's kill everyone
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
One happy weasel says,
"It's dinner time"
Six little chickens
oughta be just fine
Six little chickens
in the weasel's den
Four little roosters
and a couple of hens
Nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide
Six little chickens
at the end of the line
Six little chickens
Watch out, now!
Six little chickens
Here comes the weasel!
Six little chickens
running outta time
Whoops!
Five little chickens
at the end of the line
- Shit!
- What the... holy fuck!
Go. Leave. Leave!
Chris, go.
I'm sorry.
Why you stopping?
Has that thing
always been here?
Girl, that thing been
in every single room
we've been in.
It's on the wall right now.
Come on, babe.
It's staring at us.
Well, then let's give it
a show.
What you talking about?
Come on.
Get nasty with it.
- Hayesville Sheriff's Office.
- Sheriff?
This is Sheriff Lund.
It's Chris Muley.
What can I
do you for, Chris?
Christ, I did
something stupid.
We're at Willy's.
Prank call.
You want me to get that?
People made their beds,
they gotta lie in 'em.
Pretty sure the saying is,
"Protect and Serve," Sheriff.
Shut your mouth, smart guy.
You're not funny.
Liv brought us here.
Son of a bitch.
Get your asses
out of there, son.
Put your balls on, Evan.
We're going to Willy's.
Bobby, that thing just moved!
Where the fuck did it go?
No! No!
I really need you to help me
find my friends.
Please.
Oh, my God. Kathy!
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Hello, little boy.
You don't have to be
afraid of me.
I'm not the same as the others.
They're so mean to me.
They call me ugly
and they make fun
of my colorful skin.
I'm trapped in this body.
I just want to be free.
I guess I don't expect you
to believe me.
I hoped
that you were different.
I'm Chris.
Trust me, Chris.
You know you can.
You can feel my goodness.
If what you're saying
is true,
and you're not like
the others...
I could help you
get to the next life?
It's true.
Evil has kept me here.
You must have questions.
I can tell you so much
about the other side.
I can answer
all your questions.
If you can help me.
You ever use your sidearm?
Oh. In training.
But these are just
punk kids, right?
What, vandalizing
and loitering?
I doubt we'll need to drop 'em.
It's not the kids.
It's Willy.
The dancing rat?
Okay.
I get it. I get it.
The boys told you
to pull a fast one on me.
Bravo. Nice try.
It ain't no prank.
This is real as it gets.
I guaran-damn-tee you that.
See, in town, we knew
what was happening at Willy's.
We knew there was something
supernatural going on.
We bellowed
to the high heavens
that the machines were evil.
No one believed us.
They thought we were yokels.
Tex eventually hired
a demolition crew
to destroy Willy's,
except the day before
bulldozers were set to roll,
Eric Miller, the contractor,
was found in bed
as chewed up
as a McDonald's hamburger.
His whole family too.
After that,
there wasn't a man alive
that would take the job.
The town decided
that maybe it was better
to let sleeping dogs lie.
We told everybody
just to stay away from there.
We figured
we'd just let it rot.
But rabid dogs don't sleep
when they're hungry.
The machines got out.
We found bodies
at the ice cream shop,
the hardware store,
and even the school.
We had a real Hobson's choice
on our hands.
You know what that is?
No.
No choice at all.
We could either go to war
with the machines,
come off like crazy people,
probably lose
a lot of good folk
along the way, or...
Or what?
We cut a deal.
Leave our people be.
Leave our children be.
Leave our town be, and...
and we will feed you.
Well, the good news is,
I can fix it.
The bad news is,
it's gonna have to sit
till I get the part.
Now, Hayesville's
one hotel's booked.
But I do have a place
you can stay tonight.
Now, it ain't the Ritz,
but it's a roof
and it's free
if you're willing to do
a little light cleaning.
Best place for a birthday
party you've ever seen.
Heck, it once was,
but we're gonna fix it.
Bring her back to life.
Congratulations.
You are officially on staff.
We lived up to our end
of the bargain
and they kept theirs.
We tried to find people
who wouldn't be missed.
People with
low moral character.
And some people who were just at
the wrong place at the wrong time.
Things didn't always go
exactly as planned.
I usually pride myself
on being able to expect
the unexpected.
But sometimes,
life throws you a zinger.
Well, this was the zinger
of all zingers.
Good night, darling.
Sweet dreams.
I never saw it coming.
So that's why we're going?
Liv.
Much as she pisses me off,
I couldn't live
with losing that girl.
I can show you
what's on the other side.
If you could help me get there.
- Oh, Chris.
- Liv, Liv, it's gonna be okay.
Kay, we're gonna make a deal
and...
Wanna play, bitch?
Playtime's over now,
girlfriend.
Drop the lizard.
Get that stuff off of her.
Willy, I'm so sorry
about this prick.
Eloise, please, stop.
He's a good guy.
Shut your yap
and get outside.
They killed some of 'em.
Oh.
Stupid idiots.
It'll just incite him more.
Willy, this guy does not
act for us.
His actions should
in no way reflect
on the town of Hayesville.
You know that, right, Willy?
Well, cuff him.
For God's sakes, cuff him.
No way.
I'm not leaving him here.
I'll give you two reasons
why you are:
your wife and your kid.
If we don't do
what needs to be done,
nobody in this county is safe.
Why couldn't you just die?
Where are the others?
They're dead.
Stupid kids.
Do you see?
Okay, time to go.
- Go.
- No. Uh-uh.
I'm not leaving without him.
I'm not giving you a choice.
Go.
- I'm not leaving without him.
- Get out of here.
You don't understand.
You've locked the wrong guy up
in here.
He's not trapped
in here with them.
They're trapped in here
with him.
Not for much longer.
I'm sorry son.
Is that what you did
to my parents?
You're a monster.
What do we do now?
Well, I'm gonna wait here
until this problem
solves itself.
You drop her off in a cell,
come back, and get me.
Should be done by then.
Hey, cowboy.
Ready for a little
mnage trois?
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
And eyes and ears
and mouth and nose
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins
Arms and chins
- You can't arrest me
- Can and will.
Breaking and entering,
destruction of property,
and I'm pretty sure that was
a dead body on the floor.
What's worse,
the dead body you saw,
or the guy
that you left to die?
Are you ready to be a murderer?
Because that's
exactly what you're gonna be.
You're gonna be
a cold-blooded...
Shut up! I ain't no murderer.
Then what are you?
You're complicit.
You're just another cult member
recruited by the sheriff
to do all of her dirty work.
I ain't no cult member
and I ain't no murderer.
And how 'bout you, huh?
Living with the sheriff
all these years,
all this going on,
what have you done?
You don't know what it's like
living with her.
My entire life,
it's like I've been a ghost.
And no matter what I do,
it doesn't change who she is.
So I thought maybe
I could do something right
and burn
this fucking place down.
So I am doing something.
What about you?
Hmm?
You just gonna sit there
and watch all of this happen
and not do anything about it?
I'm gonna set things right.
That's what I'm
goddamn gonna do.
You'll see.
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins
Arms and chins
And eyes and ears
and mouth and chins
Feet, tummies,
arms, and chins, arms and
Oh, my God!
Evan!
Give me the keys.
Give me the fucking keys.
Shit.
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
And eyes and ears
and mouth and hips
Hands, fingers,
legs, and lips
Legs and lips
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
And eyes and ears
and mouth and nose
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes
Sucks to be you, chica.
Sucks to be you, pendejo.
No!
Ay! Oi!
Por favor, no ms.
No ms.
No ms.
No ms, por favor.
Por favor, no ms.
No ms.
Damn stupid kids.
When the daylight's gone
And you find
yourself alone
Standing face to face
Against the coming storm
There's no promise
I can make to you
To take your fears away
We just need to last
the night alone
And pray we'll see the day
At Willy's Wonderland
I'm taking you
To Willy's Wonderland
It's nothing new
At Willy's Wonderland
Can you make it through?
At Willy's Wonderland
That G-D-S-O-B.
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
Hold it right there, boy.
Inside, now!
Move!
We had a good thing,
but you just went
and fucked it all up.
Look at me.
Look at me
when I'm talking to you.
All you had to do was die.
Was that so hard?
No, you just had to go ahead
and stay alive,
and now we got five dead kids
because of you!
You might have taken apart
a few electronics,
but I got a feeling
that you can't stop a round.
Willy!
Willy needs to eat,
and I'm gonna feed him.
Willy, come and get it!
Hey, kids, do you know
what time it is?
It's birthday time.
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
And we want you
to have fun
It's your birthday
So let's party, everyone
Okay, now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you
to Willy's
Where everyone's
your friend
That's right!
Here
at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Birthday fun for everyone
How old are you today?
Everyone at Willy's
is home
- And you will stay
- Forever.
It's birthday time,
it's birthday time
It's birthday time,
let's cheer
At Willy's
Wonderland
Proudly serving families
since 1984.
Whoo!
Now that is a whole lot
of fun right there.
- Yes, sir.
- Tires are good to go.
Even tuned her up for you.
Always nice to add
another toy to the collection.
Take a peek yet?
I was waiting for you.
I ain't going in there.
Pussy.
Who are you calling a pussy?
Son of a bitch.
Oh, shit.
I'll be God damned.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still
remember me?
For I must be
travelling on now
'Cause there's
too many places
I've got to see
But if I stay here
with you, girl
Things just couldn't be
the same
'Cause I'm as free
as a bird now
And this bird
you cannot change
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And the bird
you cannot change
And this bird
you cannot change
I gotta tell you,
my hat's off.
That is one tough hombre.
Whoo!
- Well, it's over.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God, it's actually
over!
Hell yeah, it is, boy.
Hell yeah, it is.
Hey, come on.
I'm gonna give you a ride
We gonna celebrate.
I'm buying.
- Sounds good.
- It's our lucky day.
Oh, man.
Hey, with the machines gone,
I just might
actually reopen it.
You gonna need a gimmick.
And a name.
Maybe Tex's Turf.
That could sing.
Maybe get you
a mechanical bull.
- Yeah.
- Draw the customers in.
Yeah, yeah, I just...
I just might.
Oh, fuck me.
Thanks for visiting
Willy's Wonderland.
Hope you hand
a fantabulous time.
And remember, friends,
the party never ends.
At Willy's Wonderland
Clap your hands
and stomp your feet
Snap your fingers
to the beat
Whistle loud, whistle low
Sway your hips
and here we go
Hey, kids, do you know
what time it is?
It's birthday time!
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
It's your birthday
and we want you to have fun
It's your birthday,
so let's party, everyone
Okay, now, kids,
clap your hands
like there's no tomorrow.
We welcome you to Willy's
where everyone's your friend
That's right.
Here
at Willy's Wonderland
The good times never end
Birthday fun for everyone
How old are you today?
Everyone at Willy's
is home
- And you will stay
- Forever.
It's birthday time,
it's birthday time
It's birthday time,
let's cheer
At Willy's Wonderland
Proudly serving families
since 1984.
When the daylight's gone
And you find
yourself alone
Standing face to face
Against the coming storm
There's no promise
I can make to you
To take your fears away
We just need to last
the night alone
And pray we'll see the day
At Willy's Wonderland
I'm taking you
To Willy's Wonderland
It's nothing new
At Willy's Wonderland
Can you make it through?
At Willy's Wonderland
There's an empty stage
And a body on the floor
Willy's on the prowl
We can't hide
from them much more
So take a breath
and close your eyes
The shadow's on the wall
We just need
to make it out alive
Before they kill us all
At Willy's Wonderland
Okay, now, kids,
I want you to clap your hands.
Willy's Wonderland
You can run,
but you can't hide.
At Willy's Wonderland
Have you been to my
Super Happy Fun Room yet?
At Willy's Wonderland
Then what are you
waiting for?
Driving fast
down slow roads
That's just the way I roll
I'm a moving train,
I'm falling rain
Free from heavy loads
Love the sound
an engine makes
The wind against my face
I'm a lightning bolt,
a blue steel Colt
I run but never race
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Love me or leave me,
it's all the same
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Tears in my rearview
fading away
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Don't tie me to a post
Put a saddle on my back
The road's my home,
I travel alone
Light is how I pack
I rarely say a word
I try to tell the truth
I'm ready to fight
to make wrong right
I'm tied until I'm loose
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Love me or leave me,
it's all the same
I'll be gone
before you get my name
Call me crazy,
call me insane
Tears in my rearview
fading away
I'll be gone
before you get my name