Witches, The (1990) Movie Script
When your father
was a boy like you...
...living with me here in Norway...
...I told him about witches, too...
...so that he would always be aware.
The most important thing
youshould know about...
...real witches is this.
Listen very carefully.
Real witches dress
in ordinary clothes...
...and look very much like
ordinary women.
They live in ordinary houses...
...and they work in ordinary jobs.
Every country in the world has witches.
And there is a leader...
...a high witch of each country.
And the ruler...
...of all the witches...
...is the most evil woman
in creation.
The Grand High Witch herself.
Witches spend their time
plotting to kill children.
Stalking the wretched child
like a hunter...
...stalks a bird in the forest.
Did they hunt you?
You said it was an accident.
A very unpleasant accident.
When I was younger...
...I traveled the world
in search for the Grand High Witch...
...but I never found her.
I don't really believe
that anyone has ever found her.
If no one's seen
the Grand High Witch...
...how are you sure she exists?
Nobody's ever seen the devil,
but we know he exists, don't we?
For all you know, a witch might be
living next door to you.
When I was little...
...I lived beside
a girl called Erica...
...who was taken by a witch.
Erica had very strict parents.
But even that didn't save poor Erica...
...because when a witch chooses a victim...
...there is only one hope of escape:
Knowing everything about them
that I am telling you.
I'm warning you!
Erica, come in.
What makes her dangerous is the fact
that she doesn't look dangerous.
You can never be sure
if it's a witch you're looking at...
...or a kind lady.
Erica!
How do you like my new painting?
It's magnifique, Papa.
Go to Larsen's...
...and buy a liter of milk.
Yes, Papa.
Come straight home.
Real witches hate children.
Real witches are quite bald.
Although, of course,
they wear wigs...
...that itch...
...and cause them scalp rash.
Do you know
what scalp rash is?
No.
Itching under the wig.
Must drive them crazy.
They look quite hideous
behind their human facemasks.
They can only be distinguished
from ordinary women...
...if you are sharp enough
to spot the purple tinge to their eyes.
Real witches have no toes.
Their feet have square ends...
...revolting stumps
where their toes should be.
So they never wear pointed
or pretty shoes.
Just plain, sensible shoes.
Remember these things.
Perhaps if Erica had known them...
My poor Erica.
For weeks they searched.
But witches don't murder children
with knives or guns.
That's for people
who get caught.
And witches never get caught.
They searched for miles around.
Everyone in the town searched...
...but she had completely disappeared.
I was there in Erica's house
six weeks later.
Good day, Frau Larsen.
Come in, Helga.
Have some cake.
I was her best friend
when it happened.
Then, that day...
...while Erica's mother
was pouring the coffee...
...her father came walking towards us.
It was as though
he had seen a ghost.
His face was all twisted up...
...as he walked towards
the painting behind me.
There, as if it always
had been there...
...was Erica...
...locked in the painting...
...gazing at us.
Papa...
I don't believe it.
You saw her in the painting, Grandma?
Many times.
But the peculiar thing
was that little Erica...
...kept changing her position
in the picture.
One day she'd be feeding the ducks.
The next day,
she'd be inside the farmhouse...
...looking out of a window.
Did you see her moving
in the picture?
Nobody did.
She was always just a figure...
...motionless in the painting.
As the years went by,
Erica grew older, too.
And only five or six years ago...
...the old woman that Erica had become...
...bent and frail in the painting...
...began to disappear.
Until...
...one morning,
she was gone.
She died?
Who knows?
Mysterious things go on
in the world of witches.
It's almost 9:00.
Grandma's been telling me
about witches, Mom.
And frightening you
before you go to sleep.
Good night, darling.
Everything all right?
Very all right.
Go on. Enjoy yourselves.
Good-bye, Mom.
Here you go.
- Good night, son.
- Good night, Dad.
No more stories, okay?
Oh, no.
Come on, just one more story.
All right, one more.
But very short.
Witches...
...are very cruel.
They have a highly developed
sense of smell.
A real witch could smell you
across the street...
...on a pitch-black night.
Not me.
I just had a shower.
Yes, she could.
The cleaner you are,
the more a witch can smell you.
That doesn't make sense.
Yes, it does.
A dirty child,
it's the dirt she smells.
A clean child,
it is the child.
I'll never have a shower again,
and I'll have you for an excuse.
Well, just not too often.
Only once a month
is probably safe.
So a witch could smell me right now?
To me, you smell of
raspberries and cream...
...but to a witch, you would smell
absolutely disgusting.
What kind of disgusting?
Like dog's droppings.
I don't believe it.
You don't believe it?
What's more, to a witch,
you'd smell of fresh dog's droppings.
That's not true.
There's no point in arguing.
It's a fact of life.
So, if you see a woman holding her nose
as she passes you...
...she could easily be a witch.
And now it is definitely bedtime.
Good night, Grandma.
Mom?
Dad?
Frau Evershim,
could I come in for a minute?
I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
Come in.
Wait here.
Come here to me.
Come on.
Let's cuddle up here.
Sit on my lap.
- Shall we bring them to England?
- Yes.
Let's do that.
I think they're very good.
I really do.
Quite a talent there,
which I didn't know anything about.
Thanks.
After the accident...
...I didn't take Luke
back to America right away.
We went to England
where I had a house.
He started at the school his parents
had chosen for him before they...
- Bald?
- That's why they wear wigs.
Before they came to me
on their vacation.
They itch and scratch a lot.
I saw a woman yesterday
with purple eyes.
Hello, young man.
What a magnificent tree house.
Did you build it yourself?
My dad and I did.
I've got something
for you here.
Something I think
you'll like.
- Jump down and I'll show you.
- No.
- What?
- No, thank you very much.
It's worth a lot of money.
This is private property.
There's nothing
to be frightened of.
I just wanted
to give you this.
I found him on my walk.
He's quite harmless.
See?
Little boys love snakes.
Here, he's yours.
Grandma! Grandma!
I'll leave him here if you like.
Then you can come down and get him.
They wriggle away quite quickly...
...unless you tell them not to.
Grandma!
Perhaps you'd like some chocolate.
Grandma!
She can't hear you.
What's your name?
Is it...
...Luke?
Thought so.
Here you are, Luke.
A big bar of chocolate.
- If you...
- Luke.
Luke, it's dinnertime.
Luke, dinnertime.
- Did you see her?
- Yes.
I think she was a witch.
Gloves, purple eyes.
She wanted me
to climb down and...
...she hypnotized a snake
she wanted to give me.
A real one?
A real snake, yes!
I swear.
I believe you.
Close your eyes.
No cheating.
To your chair.
There we are.
"Happy birthday to you...
"Happy birthday to you...
"Happy birthday, dear Luke...
"Happy birthday to you."
There!
They're great!
I'll build them a whole circus...
...teach them tricks
and acrobatics and stuff.
It must be so neat being a mouse.
Just play all day and eat,
and then play some more.
I'll rig up a whole room with...
Grandma!
Grandma!
Your granny has a mild case of diabetes.
It's nothing to worry about.
Have a good rest,
and soon you'll be as right as rain.
You'll be better.
I'm putting you
on a sugar-free diet.
No cakes, candies,
or sugar at all.
Those cigars won't do you any good.
See?
There are some more pills to take.
With that and a good holiday
by the seaside...
...you'll be good as new.
Come on, leave your granny to rest.
Perhaps you can bring her breakfast
in bed in the morning.
By tomorrow afternoon,
you can boss her around like before.
- Bye-bye, Mrs. Evershim.
- Bye-bye.
See you in a couple of days.
- Can you find your way?
- Yes.
How come doctors speak to everybody
like they're babies?
I know.
I'm sorry for spoiling your birthday...
...and for giving you a fright.
Is it all right if I play
with William and Mary now?
Yes, of course.
Listen, Mary Mouse,
when Grandma gets better...
...we're going with her
to a hotel by the ocean.
You've never been
to the ocean.
I'll tell you,
it's big.
Look at the hotel, Grandma.
It's not half bad.
- Welcome, madam.
- Thank you.
Think it'll be a nice day, yes?
Can you manage, Luke?
Come on, Luke.
There we go.
Welcome to the Excelsior!
Nicola Cole.
I've looked forward to meeting you.
You look marvelous.
Wish I could say the same for you.
Miss Ernst.
I am the owner of the hotel.
We're very happy
to have you here.
Delighted.
Should I sign or something?
This is my secretary.
Yes. How are you?
Ladies.
- Ina Clay Beckman.
- Indeed.
Julia Whitman.
Julia. Yes. Where are you from?
Darlington.
- Lois Leffour, from Southampton.
- Lois.
In there, that must be where you sleep.
The carpetbag on the bed, please.
I'll have a wash and brush-up
while you explore the place.
Then we shall have tea together...
...and you'll show me around, yes?
Thank you.
Don't lock me out.
I promise I won't.
You look wonderful, Miss Ernst.
We are looking forward to this afternoon.
What are you doing?
The raisins are all around the edge
of these cakes.
They're really good.
Thanks.
My name's Luke.
Bruno Jenkins.
The cucumber sandwiches
are all right, too...
...except when they use margarine
instead of butter.
How much pocket money
do you get?
My dad's rich,
but he's very tight.
We've got three cars.
Hello, boys.
I hope there's butter
in the sandwiches today.
I really do hate margarine.
You've got those excellent cakes again.
There should be 14 of the...
Mr. Stringer!
- What happened?
- I went to make the bed. They were there.
- What?
- White and disgusting.
Calm down.
Is this your room?
Yes.
I'm sorry, madam,
but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.
How dare you say that
when your rotten hotel...
...is full of rats anyway?
Rats?
There are no rats
in this hotel.
I saw one this morning running
along the corridor into the kitchen.
Madam, you only arrived
in the hotel this afternoon.
Morning, afternoon.
I saw a rat in your hotel...
...and if matters do not improve...
...I'll have to report you
to the public health authorities.
Look, madam,
I'm not prepared...
The cakes in the lounge are nibbled
all around the edges. I can show you.
If you're not careful...
...the health people
will order the whole hotel closed...
...before everyone gets typhoid fever.
You can't be serious, madam.
I've never been more serious
in my life.
Now, will you or will you not
let my grandchild...
...keep his hygienic
and perfectly harmless pet mice?
If they are kept in the cage,
and only in this room.
Nowhere else in the hotel!
Agreed.
Very well.
Grandma...
...I can't train my mice
if they're in a cage.
Nibbled cakes, indeed.
There were,
only it was a boy called Bruno Jenkins.
I'm teaching William and Mary
how to be tightrope walkers.
I brought the circus
I'm building with me.
Good. Show me.
Let's see.
Look. I'm planning them a major house.
Ramp ways here, a bathtub.
This elevator's pretty neat.
You really did this yourself?
It's good. I'm impressed.
You must train your mice...
...but you mustn't get caught
or do it in here...
...because if that hysterical maid
comes back...
Now it's teatime.
I just love English hotel teas.
Cream cakes and shortbread and...
No, Grandma.
No cream cakes.
And no shortbread, either.
It's full of sugar.
I shall end up eating the same diet
as your mice.
That's the trouble with this country:
A queue for everything.
They wouldn't think to have
two tea trolleys.
No, that'd be too convenient
for the paying guests.
They'll want two lumps of ice
in their whiskey next.
They'd queue for their own funerals
if they could.
I know that woman
from somewhere...
...but I can't for the life of me
remember where.
Her face is so familiar.
Which one?
My memory's going.
But it's as if I met her before.
She's probably on TV
or something.
Cucumber sandwiches.
Fish paste.
You got the wrong one.
Oh, no. Sugar.
Sugar can kill you.
I know, but it was very little.
Something very odd is going on.
Are you listening to me?
You'll have some fresh air
if I have to take you out by your ear.
We didn't come here for you to sit eating
and watch telly all day.
All the other boys are out there
playing in the water.
Pick up your knife.
You're just like your father.
Good afternoon, madam.
Go on.
Are you sure you're all right?
Fine, fine.
What are you going to do now?
I'm gonna take William and Mary
and explore this place.
Just don't get into trouble,
will you?
I won't.
Come on.
Excuse me, please.
That's fine.
Carry on with the rest of them.
No. In the kitchen.
Wait there.
Great. Now do it again.
Come on.
I'm sure your delegates
will be comfortable in here.
If there's anything we can do...
Come on, Nicola,
down the front!
Drinks will be served
on the terrace after...
...you've concluded your meeting.
Skies are clearing,
I'm glad to say.
Sit down.
We've prepared a fine meal
for you tonight.
The chef's special soup...
Look at her eyes.
I'll leave you to business.
Fine. Thank you.
Everybody sitting?
Up front, sit down!
Not yet!
We've got to get out of here.
Come along, ladies.
The sooner you're ready,
the sooner we can start.
Thank you for letting me stay.
- That's all right, Elsie.
- I'll lock up.
- Good.
- Good.
Then we'll begin.
You may remove your shoes.
You may remove your wigs.
The doors, are they locked and bolted?
Locked and bolted,
Your Grandness.
Good. Help me.
Witches of England...
...you're a disgrace!
Miserable witches...
...you are good-for-nothing worms!
Everywhere I look...
...I see the repulsive sight...
...of hundreds...
...thousands...
...of revolting little children.
I ask you:
Why?
One child a week
is no good to me.
We will do better.
We will do much better.
Better is no good, either!
I demand maximum results.
So...
...here are my orders.
My orders are...
...that every child...
...in England...
...shall be rubbed out.
Destroyed!
Every single child eliminated!
Do I make myself clear?
We can't possibly wipe out all of them.
Who spoke?
Who dares to argue with me?
It was you?
I didn't mean to argue.
You dare to argue with me?
No, honestly. It just was a...
A stupid witch who answers back...
...must burn until
her bones are black!
No.
A foolish witch...
...without a brain...
...must sizzle into fiery flame!
A witch...
...who dares to say I'm wrong...
...will not be with us...
...very long!
What the devil?
I hope nobody else
is going to make me cross today.
Now, this is my plan.
Each of you...
...will go back to your homes...
...and resign from your jobs.
Give notice.
Retire.
You will then buy,
with the money I give you...
...sweet shops.
Candy stores.
The best and most respectable
sweet shops in England.
Upstairs I have a trunkload
of this English money...
...so you'll be able to offer three...
...maybe four times
what these shops are worth.
Go.
On a certain day...
...when all our plans are prepared...
...you'll announce
a great gala opening...
...with free sweets, candies,
and chocolates for every child.
Poison sweets.
We'll wipe them out
like weasels.
- Who spoke?
- She did!
It's brilliant.
Poison?
And you don't mind getting caught?
Exposed?
Vilified?
I just thought...
Spineless bumpkin!
You blithering bogvumper!
No wonder England is swarming with...
Everything you sell that day...
...will have been treated...
...with my very latest...
...and very greatest magic formula.
Witches work only with magic!
Wait. Come here.
Formula 86.
My greatest triumph.
A work of...
...genius.
Formula 86!
In this bottle...
...500 doses...
...with a delay mechanism...
...that prevents it from working
until two hours...
...after it has been taken.
What does it do...
...genius one?
One dose...
...and the time works
to the second.
But more than five doses...
...breaks the delay barrier...
...and the formula works instantly.
The child...
...starts to shrink.
The child...
...starts to...
...grow fur.
Starts...
...growing a tail.
All this happens
in precisely 25 seconds!
Shrinking more.
The child...
...is no longer a child.
The child...
...is a mouse!
Silence.
Shut up.
Silence. Enough.
This afternoon...
...at precisely 4:15...
...I put one dose of my formula...
...on a bar of chocolate.
I gave it to a repulsive...
...smelly boy...
...who was in the lobby.
"Was that good?"
I asked him.
"Got any more?"...
...said the nauseating child.
"Six more bars like that one,"
I told him.
In two minutes' time...
...this appalling,
foul-smelling creature...
...is coming to collect his reward.
In five minutes' time...
...you'll see my magic formula
in action.
We're going to see.
Quickly! Wigs!
Gloves!
The appalling child will be here...
...and you'll see my miracle.
Come on. Hurry up!
That's good.
Hurry up, everybody.
Come on!
Quickly!
You're not on holiday!
I'm being as quick as I can.
Hurry up!
Ready.
Hello, little boy.
Come on in then.
Come on.
Wait just there.
What's your name then?
Bruno.
Madam!
That lady promised me
six whole bars...
...of cream-whip hazelnut milk chocolate.
I've come to collect.
Ladies...
...may I introduce Bruno?
Come up, Bruno.
I have the chocolate here.
I said 6:15.
And that is 15 seconds from now.
You are in for a treat.
We all are!
What's going on?
Just a few moments.
Five...
I can't see any chocolates.
...three, two, one, zero!
We have ignition!
Everybody, look!
It's fantastic!
It's begun!
I can't stand it!
It's so wonderful!
It's fantastic!
Where'd he go?
Keys!
Enough! Silence!
Before the banquet tonight,
come to my room in groups of 10.
Room number 208.
I'll give you each a bottle
containing 500 doses.
Also plenty of money.
Do not forget your nose plugs
for the dinner.
The dining room will be full
of filthy children.
Without your nose plugs,
the stink will be unbearable.
Now we'll have drinks on the terrace
with that ridiculous manager.
Any questions?
What if one of the chocolates
were accidentally eaten by a grownup?
That's just too bad for the grownup.
The meeting is over.
Until next year.
Wait!
I smell...
...dog's droppings.
She's right.
The smell!
She's right!
Search out this small lump of dung!
Find it!
It must be exterminated immediately!
There he is!
He's wiggling through.
He's getting away.
Come here, boy.
Bring him to me!
There he is!
I saw him come this way.
Where could he be?
Bye-bye.
No! My baby! Stop!
A baby in a pram.
Lovely!
Oh, no.
Get the boy!
He's getting away!
Grandma, wake up!
Please, Grandma!
My grandma!
An old adversary,
I have discovered.
Very old.
If you hurt my grandma...
Silence!
We've got him, madam.
Don't bite.
Open up.
Five hundred doses.
Come along.
Get up.
Look.
This stinking little carbuncle
has had 500 doses.
We are having instantaneous action.
'Bye.
Kill him.
Kill him!
Leave that little stinkpot!
It's not worth bothering about.
Come. Some whiskey and
champagne to celebrate.
Bruno? I don't believe it,
I can talk.
Bruno?
Who's that?
Bruno, it's me. Luke.
I'm down here.
Where?
I can't see you.
Down here.
You can talk, too.
This is weird.
- This icing is terrific.
- Are you okay?
They didn't give me
the six bars of chocolate.
You couldn't eat six bars of candy
now that you're a mouse.
Don't be stupid.
I'm not a...
Just because you're a...
That doesn't mean that I'm a...
Good Lord.
I'm not too keen on being a mouse.
We gotta find a way out of here.
How long before we change back,
do you think?
I don't think we will.
Of course we will.
We've gotta get upstairs and wake
my grandma. I'm real worried about her.
Maybe it was the witch,
or her diabetes.
I only know
she didn't wake up when I...
She's got some peanuts, too.
Dry-roasted?
All right.
Come on.
William and Mary!
Hi. It's me, Luke.
Are you two all right?
Crikey. Did they eat
the chocolate as well?
They were my pet mice.
But I guess they can't talk like we can.
Catch you two later.
Come on, Bruno.
This way.
They're gone.
It's all clear.
Come on.
Wait for me.
Running on a full stomach
isn't good for you.
Better than being caught.
- Keep up, Bruno.
- Sports give me indigestion.
Get back.
Okay, when I say "go", go!
Go!
- Run!
- Wait.
Follow me.
How will we get upstairs?
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm paying for.
I really don't.
An overheated room.
Dad? Hey, there's my dad!
He doesn't know what's happened.
He'll kill you.
My own father?
The photographer of that brochure
should be arrested for fraud.
I'm going to tell him.
He'll put a stop to it.
No, not now.
Trust me, he'll stamp on you
the moment he sees you.
Quick!
It's so nice not having the kids around.
I smell food.
Is there anything in this bag?
They'll be fine.
I think John was getting a cold.
It's always the same.
You must relax once in a while.
All right.
This is it.
Let's go.
- No more sports!
- Hurry!
Faster! Faster!
I forgot my tail.
Keep to the side!
Being like this
might not be so bad.
There won't be any more school.
That would be all right.
Look at that.
Don't eat the cheese.
Remember, we've got two enemies now:
Humans and cats.
We've got three cats at home.
They'll have to go.
My mother loves them,
but she's terrified of mice.
Grandma!
Grandma!
Take your afternoon off tomorrow.
Let's go.
What? Hey, wait!
There are four more floors
to be done.
Yes, sir.
You do over there.
I'll get this one.
Back.
It bit me!
- What bit you?
- A mouse in the towel.
A mouse?
Is she sober?
Of course she's sober.
I've been with her all after...
I mean, I...
...I saw her...
Yes, she's sober.
Don't be stupid.
Go to the second floor.
Grandma! Grandma!
Here by the phone.
It's me Luke.
Are you all right?
Luke?
It's me, Grandma.
Luke!
It was the Grand High Witch.
She is in this hotel.
My God!
Don't cry.
It's okay.
Things could have been worse.
I got away from them.
I'm still alive.
My darling Luke.
What have they done to you?
They turned me into a mouse.
I'm sorry.
I can't stop shaking.
The Grand High Witch, here?
There's hundreds of them
right here in this hotel.
I knew it.
I could see it in her eyes.
Lord.
You squashed me.
Grandma.
This is Bruno Jenkins.
I'm sorry.
He said you've got dry-roast peanuts.
Yes.
Good. Thanks.
We've got to stop them.
They leave tomorrow with a bundle
of money and gallons of a formula...
...that will change every kid
in England into a mouse.
We must stop them.
- Miss Ernst.
- Lois.
Nice to see a bit of
international clientele.
- How do you do?
- Just flew in, did you?
What?
Jet lag's the curse of
the business classes.
Hope you don't mind me joining you.
You're most welcome, sir.
Herbert Jenkins.
I'd like to say hello
to a fellow philanthropist.
You collect stamps?
Charities.
This R.S.P.C.C.
What is this R.S. P...
Cruelty to children.
Of course, you give money
for the little...
...children and...
...we, of course...
...we also give money
for the little...
I see you're holding
your annual meeting.
Funnily enough...
...I addressed the last annual meeting
of our Rotary Club.
Do you know much
about this country's Rotary Club?
If I could get the formula
into their food...
You just have to get me down
to the Grand High Witch's room.
I'm ready.
I don't know.
I've got to find the formula.
No.
This is too dangerous.
Grandma.
It's not far down.
You're asking me to lower you
into the jaws of death.
You two can't take on
the Grand High Witch.
We can.
We've got to.
No one else will believe us.
Quick, before she comes back.
Luke, be careful.
Please be careful.
I'll be careful.
Don't worry.
Not so fast.
Be careful.
I will.
Oh, no!
Grandma!
Luke, what happened?
Are you all right?
Why don't you answer?
Down, cat.
No, cat.
Grandma, help!
Down, cat!
No. Go, cat.
Grandma!
Get away. Help!
Get him away, Grandma!
Help, Grandma!
Grandma, help!
Puss!
Grandma, come on!
Do something!
Get it, cat.
Cat, puss.
Come on.
Take it.
Keep him there, Grandma.
Come on,
you little kitten.
Come on, pussy.
Keep him busy.
Here. Take it.
Come on.
Take it, you silly cat.
Don't let him in.
Puss.
Here.
Hang on, tail.
Come on, formula.
Where are you?
It has been unforgettable,
Mr. Jenkins.
My pleasure, madam.
What a stimulating conversation
it has been.
It's not every day that one meets a lady
of such quality...
...and compassion.
It's got to be somewhere up here.
It's just got to be.
Oh, man.
We've got it, Grandma.
Did you realize
that was Bruno's father?
Dreadful man.
It was an act of mercy.
The child shall never grow up
to be like his father.
- Thanks.
- Liebchen?
Liebchen?
What is this?
I'm so sorry.
- I dropped my knitting.
- You!
I'm knitting for my grandson.
Have you seen him?
No, no.
Come, Liebchen.
I'm dreadfully sorry.
I do apologize.
That's quite all right.
If I see your grandson, I will...
I will turn him into a mouse.
And you, meddling old woman,
I'll deal with later.
- Room 208.
- I hope we're not the first.
Miss Ernst.
Who is it?
You told them to come up
after the drinks.
All right,
let them in.
Come in.
You were wonderful
this afternoon.
You bad cat, Liebchen.
So, when do you think
they'd implement it?
First of the year,
I suppose.
This is a very pleasant hotel.
The question is:
Would you like to work with them?
I've got the formula!
Thank God.
Darling, I was so worried.
There's 500 doses
in this one little bottle.
It's enough to change all the witches
in this hotel.
Where's Bruno?
There's some jolly good grapes here.
What's happening?
Nothing until dinnertime.
We've got to get you back
to your parents.
What time is it?
They'll be in the bar.
A sherry and a large malt whiskey
and soda...
...at 7:00 sharp.
It gives you an appetite.
Does it?
Come on.
Into my handbag,
both of you.
This is going to be difficult.
I'm full.
We've got to get to
the kitchen quickly.
That tickles.
Is that them?
Yes. Listen, Grandma.
Maybe we ought to...
No, wait! Listen.
Don't drown it.
- Sorry.
- Look what you've done!
She was drowning it.
Are you Mr. And Mrs. Jenkins?
Hole in one.
What can we do for you?
I'd like to have a word
with you about your son.
Sit down.
What's the little tyke
been up to now?
Raiding the kitchen,
I suppose.
If we could go somewhere more private.
Private?
Well, it is rather a...
...personal matter.
Look, Mrs. Whatever your name is...
...if Bruno has broken a window
or smashed your spectacles...
...I'll pay for it,
but we're not budging.
We always sit at this table.
Where is Bruno anyway?
Tell him to come and see me.
He is here already.
What?
In my handbag.
Your son has suffered a mishap.
He has been drastically altered.
Altered?
What do you mean, "altered"?
I'm trying to tell you
as gently as possible.
My grandson saw them
doing it to him.
Saw who doing what?
Saw the witches turn him
into a mouse.
Are you crackers?
Tell the manager to throw
this nutcase out of the hotel.
You need a funny farm, you do.
Tell them, Bruno.
It's a mouse!
I can't stand them!
Get it away from here!
It is Bruno.
Tell them, Bruno.
Get out of here!
How dare you!
- Tell them, Bruno.
- Get out of here.
It's me, Mum.
Out, before I call the police,
you barmy old loony.
I don't think
they recognize me.
Push off!
Never come back,
you stupid old witch!
I did my best, Bruno.
Don't worry, dear.
She's gone.
Evening, madam, I'm just popping
in to turn down your bed.
How is the room service here?
- Diabolical.
- Good.
How do you know
that woman upstairs?
Come along. Walk downstairs.
The lift is out of order.
I suppose it must be.
- It's a five-course meal.
- Good, I'm rather hungry.
I'd like to go home,
that's what I'd like.
- What are you doing here?
- The banquet.
No! Go to your room
and prepare for...
...tomorrow's flight.
Yes, have a good flight.
But it's our banquet!
You are not here
to enjoy yourself.
You are here as my staff.
Go to your room! Now!
Ladies.
I quit!
I can't go through with it.
We could go home, yes?
Grandma, if we don't try...
...every mother and father
in England will lose their kids.
- I know.
- We must do it.
- I'll remember.
- I'm so terrified.
Grandma, now!
No, madam.
Please, no.
I'm sorry.
This isn't the dining room.
I am sorry, truly.
The guests are not permitted, madam.
I am sorry, but...
One moment.
How is the cress soup
for the children's charity group?
A soup!
Very good,
but no more salt.
No more?
What are you doing?
Are you a murderer
or a chef?
They're everywhere.
Table 5 says
the veal's too tough.
I will take care of
this personally.
Chef!
The R.S.P.C.C. Party all want soup.
That's 87 for watercress.
Debby, bring the soup tureens.
He'll adore it now.
A magic touch, n'est-ce pas?
I'll check the soup
before it's served.
She's eating the soup.
I'll see you later.
We're short-staffed tonight.
I may be a little late.
I can wait.
What is it?
Now.
A mouse!
There's a mouse running around
in my bloody underpants!
For goodness sake.
Out of the way.
Get it out!
Somebody help me!
Take your trousers off,
you idiot!
Take your pants off.
Give me that.
Somebody get it out
before it bites me!
I got to get out of here.
Somebody get it out!
I saw it.
Do you see it?
Nothing.
There's nothing much in there.
A lot of fuss
about nothing. Mice.
It's gone.
Yes?
What kind of soup is that?
That is the cress soup.
If they're all having cress soup,
I'll have the cress soup.
That soup is specially made for
their party.
The soup on the menu tonight
is cock-a-leekie...
...and very nice it is, too.
But I don't want cock-a-leekie.
I don't like cock-a-leekie.
I like cress.
So take that back to the kitchen...
...and tell the chef there's one more order
for cress soup.
There's a laddie.
What's that then?
Don't touch it!
It's in the soup!
Don't touch the soup!
Child!
Good.
Hurry up.
Nearly 8:15.
No. I can't believe it.
Dear me!
No, madam, please.
Just a moment.
One more...
...cress soup, table 9.
Hi, Bruno.
Lovely, isn't it?
Red.
Yes.
Red.
I didn't want to be
one of them anyway.
I'll bring you
your main course.
- Well?
- I put it in the soup.
- The whole bottle?
- Every drop.
You angel.
You're bleeding.
A cook tried to cut off my tail
with a carving knife.
Look! The Grand High Witch
is eating the soup!
They all are.
Another roll, sir?
No, thanks.
I'd like some...
I'd like some black pepper, please.
- My God!
- What?
Bruno's father
is about to eat the soup, too.
- Stop him!
- Quick!
I agree, dear,
it's been a nightmare.
At least we got some cress soup.
Don't touch it!
I told you she was a loony.
She's an absolute nutter!
Look at my bloody soup!
And all that stuff about Bruno!
Bruno has been turned into...
He has not been turned into a...
Yes, I have.
Hello, Dad.
Don't worry, Dad.
It isn't all bad...
...just so long as the cat doesn't get me.
Bruno.
No more school,
no more homework.
I'll live in the kitchen cupboard.
This is a trick.
It's that whiskey.
Hello, Mum.
Would you like to know
who did this to Bruno?
It's working.
Let go of me!
My Formula 86!
Give me that spoon!
That woman over there.
She is the Grand High Witch.
Grandma,
she needs more time to become a...
She did it to Bruno...
...and thousands of other children
before him.
Good evening.
You're doomed,
old woman!
You're doomed forever!
It must work.
You.
This is it, Bruno.
Come on!
Get the mice!
One is a witch.
The most evil and appalling woman
in the world.
A loathsome...
...hideous disgrace!
Yeah, Grandma!
I'm not finished with you yet,
old woman!
Next time!
No next time.
This time it's your turn.
Herbert, do something!
It's in your garment.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Get that brown one!
No, the other one!
Look, it's her.
Get away from me!
Don't let her get away.
Get away!
Get me out of here!
Get out of my hotel!
Mr. Stringer.
There's an especially impetuous one
over there, under the water jug.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure.
Get away from me!
I tell you,
get away from me!
Get away from me!
My mum's not very crazy about mice.
So I see.
Here is Bruno.
- Thank you.
- He needs to go on a diet.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.
Stop it, dear. Stop it.
This is our Bruno.
Don't cry, Mum.
You'll get used to me.
Just a minute, Grandma.
'Bye, Bruno.
'Bye.
Excuse me.
You always wanted me
to lose weight.
Well, look at me now.
There. But I still don't understand.
I won't be long.
Come on, this way.
Right to the main dining room.
Hurry up.
- Your taxi, madam.
- Good-bye.
Put it down, Bill.
- That's it.
- You all right?
- Can you manage?
- I'm fine.
Look out.
There's a step.
- Mrs. Evershim?
- Yes.
- There's a trunk for you.
- A trunk?
- Will you sign for it?
- Yes, all right.
Come in.
Great!
It's arrived.
Don't open it yet.
Wait for me.
Put it down there.
That'll do fine.
All right, ma'am.
That's it.
Here I come.
Thank you.
I still have no idea
who it could be from.
This is really gonna surprise you.
Open it.
- But what is it?
- Open it.
Money!
I saw it in the Grand High Witch's room.
I figured we could use it
when we go to America.
America?
We've got to
go home because...
Look!
It was the Grand High Witch's.
It has the name and address
of every witch in America.
You are a genius.
"It doesn't matter who you are
and what you are
"As long as somebody loves you"
Luke.
What a day.
Perhaps we could find
a good witch...
...to turn you back
into my grandson.
I'll never be able to
drive a real car, will I?
I don't know.
How long do mice live?
I hope we have time to take on
those American witches.
Shall we go to New York?
I've never been to New York.
Can we travel by ship?
First class.
The best cabin.
The best of everything.
Good night, Grandma.
Good night, Luke.
I really am happy to be a mouse,
you know.
I know, my darling.
Grandma!
Grandma, what's happening?
Off you go,
back home to Luke.
Look, they're back!
Don't forget Bruno!
was a boy like you...
...living with me here in Norway...
...I told him about witches, too...
...so that he would always be aware.
The most important thing
youshould know about...
...real witches is this.
Listen very carefully.
Real witches dress
in ordinary clothes...
...and look very much like
ordinary women.
They live in ordinary houses...
...and they work in ordinary jobs.
Every country in the world has witches.
And there is a leader...
...a high witch of each country.
And the ruler...
...of all the witches...
...is the most evil woman
in creation.
The Grand High Witch herself.
Witches spend their time
plotting to kill children.
Stalking the wretched child
like a hunter...
...stalks a bird in the forest.
Did they hunt you?
You said it was an accident.
A very unpleasant accident.
When I was younger...
...I traveled the world
in search for the Grand High Witch...
...but I never found her.
I don't really believe
that anyone has ever found her.
If no one's seen
the Grand High Witch...
...how are you sure she exists?
Nobody's ever seen the devil,
but we know he exists, don't we?
For all you know, a witch might be
living next door to you.
When I was little...
...I lived beside
a girl called Erica...
...who was taken by a witch.
Erica had very strict parents.
But even that didn't save poor Erica...
...because when a witch chooses a victim...
...there is only one hope of escape:
Knowing everything about them
that I am telling you.
I'm warning you!
Erica, come in.
What makes her dangerous is the fact
that she doesn't look dangerous.
You can never be sure
if it's a witch you're looking at...
...or a kind lady.
Erica!
How do you like my new painting?
It's magnifique, Papa.
Go to Larsen's...
...and buy a liter of milk.
Yes, Papa.
Come straight home.
Real witches hate children.
Real witches are quite bald.
Although, of course,
they wear wigs...
...that itch...
...and cause them scalp rash.
Do you know
what scalp rash is?
No.
Itching under the wig.
Must drive them crazy.
They look quite hideous
behind their human facemasks.
They can only be distinguished
from ordinary women...
...if you are sharp enough
to spot the purple tinge to their eyes.
Real witches have no toes.
Their feet have square ends...
...revolting stumps
where their toes should be.
So they never wear pointed
or pretty shoes.
Just plain, sensible shoes.
Remember these things.
Perhaps if Erica had known them...
My poor Erica.
For weeks they searched.
But witches don't murder children
with knives or guns.
That's for people
who get caught.
And witches never get caught.
They searched for miles around.
Everyone in the town searched...
...but she had completely disappeared.
I was there in Erica's house
six weeks later.
Good day, Frau Larsen.
Come in, Helga.
Have some cake.
I was her best friend
when it happened.
Then, that day...
...while Erica's mother
was pouring the coffee...
...her father came walking towards us.
It was as though
he had seen a ghost.
His face was all twisted up...
...as he walked towards
the painting behind me.
There, as if it always
had been there...
...was Erica...
...locked in the painting...
...gazing at us.
Papa...
I don't believe it.
You saw her in the painting, Grandma?
Many times.
But the peculiar thing
was that little Erica...
...kept changing her position
in the picture.
One day she'd be feeding the ducks.
The next day,
she'd be inside the farmhouse...
...looking out of a window.
Did you see her moving
in the picture?
Nobody did.
She was always just a figure...
...motionless in the painting.
As the years went by,
Erica grew older, too.
And only five or six years ago...
...the old woman that Erica had become...
...bent and frail in the painting...
...began to disappear.
Until...
...one morning,
she was gone.
She died?
Who knows?
Mysterious things go on
in the world of witches.
It's almost 9:00.
Grandma's been telling me
about witches, Mom.
And frightening you
before you go to sleep.
Good night, darling.
Everything all right?
Very all right.
Go on. Enjoy yourselves.
Good-bye, Mom.
Here you go.
- Good night, son.
- Good night, Dad.
No more stories, okay?
Oh, no.
Come on, just one more story.
All right, one more.
But very short.
Witches...
...are very cruel.
They have a highly developed
sense of smell.
A real witch could smell you
across the street...
...on a pitch-black night.
Not me.
I just had a shower.
Yes, she could.
The cleaner you are,
the more a witch can smell you.
That doesn't make sense.
Yes, it does.
A dirty child,
it's the dirt she smells.
A clean child,
it is the child.
I'll never have a shower again,
and I'll have you for an excuse.
Well, just not too often.
Only once a month
is probably safe.
So a witch could smell me right now?
To me, you smell of
raspberries and cream...
...but to a witch, you would smell
absolutely disgusting.
What kind of disgusting?
Like dog's droppings.
I don't believe it.
You don't believe it?
What's more, to a witch,
you'd smell of fresh dog's droppings.
That's not true.
There's no point in arguing.
It's a fact of life.
So, if you see a woman holding her nose
as she passes you...
...she could easily be a witch.
And now it is definitely bedtime.
Good night, Grandma.
Mom?
Dad?
Frau Evershim,
could I come in for a minute?
I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
Come in.
Wait here.
Come here to me.
Come on.
Let's cuddle up here.
Sit on my lap.
- Shall we bring them to England?
- Yes.
Let's do that.
I think they're very good.
I really do.
Quite a talent there,
which I didn't know anything about.
Thanks.
After the accident...
...I didn't take Luke
back to America right away.
We went to England
where I had a house.
He started at the school his parents
had chosen for him before they...
- Bald?
- That's why they wear wigs.
Before they came to me
on their vacation.
They itch and scratch a lot.
I saw a woman yesterday
with purple eyes.
Hello, young man.
What a magnificent tree house.
Did you build it yourself?
My dad and I did.
I've got something
for you here.
Something I think
you'll like.
- Jump down and I'll show you.
- No.
- What?
- No, thank you very much.
It's worth a lot of money.
This is private property.
There's nothing
to be frightened of.
I just wanted
to give you this.
I found him on my walk.
He's quite harmless.
See?
Little boys love snakes.
Here, he's yours.
Grandma! Grandma!
I'll leave him here if you like.
Then you can come down and get him.
They wriggle away quite quickly...
...unless you tell them not to.
Grandma!
Perhaps you'd like some chocolate.
Grandma!
She can't hear you.
What's your name?
Is it...
...Luke?
Thought so.
Here you are, Luke.
A big bar of chocolate.
- If you...
- Luke.
Luke, it's dinnertime.
Luke, dinnertime.
- Did you see her?
- Yes.
I think she was a witch.
Gloves, purple eyes.
She wanted me
to climb down and...
...she hypnotized a snake
she wanted to give me.
A real one?
A real snake, yes!
I swear.
I believe you.
Close your eyes.
No cheating.
To your chair.
There we are.
"Happy birthday to you...
"Happy birthday to you...
"Happy birthday, dear Luke...
"Happy birthday to you."
There!
They're great!
I'll build them a whole circus...
...teach them tricks
and acrobatics and stuff.
It must be so neat being a mouse.
Just play all day and eat,
and then play some more.
I'll rig up a whole room with...
Grandma!
Grandma!
Your granny has a mild case of diabetes.
It's nothing to worry about.
Have a good rest,
and soon you'll be as right as rain.
You'll be better.
I'm putting you
on a sugar-free diet.
No cakes, candies,
or sugar at all.
Those cigars won't do you any good.
See?
There are some more pills to take.
With that and a good holiday
by the seaside...
...you'll be good as new.
Come on, leave your granny to rest.
Perhaps you can bring her breakfast
in bed in the morning.
By tomorrow afternoon,
you can boss her around like before.
- Bye-bye, Mrs. Evershim.
- Bye-bye.
See you in a couple of days.
- Can you find your way?
- Yes.
How come doctors speak to everybody
like they're babies?
I know.
I'm sorry for spoiling your birthday...
...and for giving you a fright.
Is it all right if I play
with William and Mary now?
Yes, of course.
Listen, Mary Mouse,
when Grandma gets better...
...we're going with her
to a hotel by the ocean.
You've never been
to the ocean.
I'll tell you,
it's big.
Look at the hotel, Grandma.
It's not half bad.
- Welcome, madam.
- Thank you.
Think it'll be a nice day, yes?
Can you manage, Luke?
Come on, Luke.
There we go.
Welcome to the Excelsior!
Nicola Cole.
I've looked forward to meeting you.
You look marvelous.
Wish I could say the same for you.
Miss Ernst.
I am the owner of the hotel.
We're very happy
to have you here.
Delighted.
Should I sign or something?
This is my secretary.
Yes. How are you?
Ladies.
- Ina Clay Beckman.
- Indeed.
Julia Whitman.
Julia. Yes. Where are you from?
Darlington.
- Lois Leffour, from Southampton.
- Lois.
In there, that must be where you sleep.
The carpetbag on the bed, please.
I'll have a wash and brush-up
while you explore the place.
Then we shall have tea together...
...and you'll show me around, yes?
Thank you.
Don't lock me out.
I promise I won't.
You look wonderful, Miss Ernst.
We are looking forward to this afternoon.
What are you doing?
The raisins are all around the edge
of these cakes.
They're really good.
Thanks.
My name's Luke.
Bruno Jenkins.
The cucumber sandwiches
are all right, too...
...except when they use margarine
instead of butter.
How much pocket money
do you get?
My dad's rich,
but he's very tight.
We've got three cars.
Hello, boys.
I hope there's butter
in the sandwiches today.
I really do hate margarine.
You've got those excellent cakes again.
There should be 14 of the...
Mr. Stringer!
- What happened?
- I went to make the bed. They were there.
- What?
- White and disgusting.
Calm down.
Is this your room?
Yes.
I'm sorry, madam,
but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.
How dare you say that
when your rotten hotel...
...is full of rats anyway?
Rats?
There are no rats
in this hotel.
I saw one this morning running
along the corridor into the kitchen.
Madam, you only arrived
in the hotel this afternoon.
Morning, afternoon.
I saw a rat in your hotel...
...and if matters do not improve...
...I'll have to report you
to the public health authorities.
Look, madam,
I'm not prepared...
The cakes in the lounge are nibbled
all around the edges. I can show you.
If you're not careful...
...the health people
will order the whole hotel closed...
...before everyone gets typhoid fever.
You can't be serious, madam.
I've never been more serious
in my life.
Now, will you or will you not
let my grandchild...
...keep his hygienic
and perfectly harmless pet mice?
If they are kept in the cage,
and only in this room.
Nowhere else in the hotel!
Agreed.
Very well.
Grandma...
...I can't train my mice
if they're in a cage.
Nibbled cakes, indeed.
There were,
only it was a boy called Bruno Jenkins.
I'm teaching William and Mary
how to be tightrope walkers.
I brought the circus
I'm building with me.
Good. Show me.
Let's see.
Look. I'm planning them a major house.
Ramp ways here, a bathtub.
This elevator's pretty neat.
You really did this yourself?
It's good. I'm impressed.
You must train your mice...
...but you mustn't get caught
or do it in here...
...because if that hysterical maid
comes back...
Now it's teatime.
I just love English hotel teas.
Cream cakes and shortbread and...
No, Grandma.
No cream cakes.
And no shortbread, either.
It's full of sugar.
I shall end up eating the same diet
as your mice.
That's the trouble with this country:
A queue for everything.
They wouldn't think to have
two tea trolleys.
No, that'd be too convenient
for the paying guests.
They'll want two lumps of ice
in their whiskey next.
They'd queue for their own funerals
if they could.
I know that woman
from somewhere...
...but I can't for the life of me
remember where.
Her face is so familiar.
Which one?
My memory's going.
But it's as if I met her before.
She's probably on TV
or something.
Cucumber sandwiches.
Fish paste.
You got the wrong one.
Oh, no. Sugar.
Sugar can kill you.
I know, but it was very little.
Something very odd is going on.
Are you listening to me?
You'll have some fresh air
if I have to take you out by your ear.
We didn't come here for you to sit eating
and watch telly all day.
All the other boys are out there
playing in the water.
Pick up your knife.
You're just like your father.
Good afternoon, madam.
Go on.
Are you sure you're all right?
Fine, fine.
What are you going to do now?
I'm gonna take William and Mary
and explore this place.
Just don't get into trouble,
will you?
I won't.
Come on.
Excuse me, please.
That's fine.
Carry on with the rest of them.
No. In the kitchen.
Wait there.
Great. Now do it again.
Come on.
I'm sure your delegates
will be comfortable in here.
If there's anything we can do...
Come on, Nicola,
down the front!
Drinks will be served
on the terrace after...
...you've concluded your meeting.
Skies are clearing,
I'm glad to say.
Sit down.
We've prepared a fine meal
for you tonight.
The chef's special soup...
Look at her eyes.
I'll leave you to business.
Fine. Thank you.
Everybody sitting?
Up front, sit down!
Not yet!
We've got to get out of here.
Come along, ladies.
The sooner you're ready,
the sooner we can start.
Thank you for letting me stay.
- That's all right, Elsie.
- I'll lock up.
- Good.
- Good.
Then we'll begin.
You may remove your shoes.
You may remove your wigs.
The doors, are they locked and bolted?
Locked and bolted,
Your Grandness.
Good. Help me.
Witches of England...
...you're a disgrace!
Miserable witches...
...you are good-for-nothing worms!
Everywhere I look...
...I see the repulsive sight...
...of hundreds...
...thousands...
...of revolting little children.
I ask you:
Why?
One child a week
is no good to me.
We will do better.
We will do much better.
Better is no good, either!
I demand maximum results.
So...
...here are my orders.
My orders are...
...that every child...
...in England...
...shall be rubbed out.
Destroyed!
Every single child eliminated!
Do I make myself clear?
We can't possibly wipe out all of them.
Who spoke?
Who dares to argue with me?
It was you?
I didn't mean to argue.
You dare to argue with me?
No, honestly. It just was a...
A stupid witch who answers back...
...must burn until
her bones are black!
No.
A foolish witch...
...without a brain...
...must sizzle into fiery flame!
A witch...
...who dares to say I'm wrong...
...will not be with us...
...very long!
What the devil?
I hope nobody else
is going to make me cross today.
Now, this is my plan.
Each of you...
...will go back to your homes...
...and resign from your jobs.
Give notice.
Retire.
You will then buy,
with the money I give you...
...sweet shops.
Candy stores.
The best and most respectable
sweet shops in England.
Upstairs I have a trunkload
of this English money...
...so you'll be able to offer three...
...maybe four times
what these shops are worth.
Go.
On a certain day...
...when all our plans are prepared...
...you'll announce
a great gala opening...
...with free sweets, candies,
and chocolates for every child.
Poison sweets.
We'll wipe them out
like weasels.
- Who spoke?
- She did!
It's brilliant.
Poison?
And you don't mind getting caught?
Exposed?
Vilified?
I just thought...
Spineless bumpkin!
You blithering bogvumper!
No wonder England is swarming with...
Everything you sell that day...
...will have been treated...
...with my very latest...
...and very greatest magic formula.
Witches work only with magic!
Wait. Come here.
Formula 86.
My greatest triumph.
A work of...
...genius.
Formula 86!
In this bottle...
...500 doses...
...with a delay mechanism...
...that prevents it from working
until two hours...
...after it has been taken.
What does it do...
...genius one?
One dose...
...and the time works
to the second.
But more than five doses...
...breaks the delay barrier...
...and the formula works instantly.
The child...
...starts to shrink.
The child...
...starts to...
...grow fur.
Starts...
...growing a tail.
All this happens
in precisely 25 seconds!
Shrinking more.
The child...
...is no longer a child.
The child...
...is a mouse!
Silence.
Shut up.
Silence. Enough.
This afternoon...
...at precisely 4:15...
...I put one dose of my formula...
...on a bar of chocolate.
I gave it to a repulsive...
...smelly boy...
...who was in the lobby.
"Was that good?"
I asked him.
"Got any more?"...
...said the nauseating child.
"Six more bars like that one,"
I told him.
In two minutes' time...
...this appalling,
foul-smelling creature...
...is coming to collect his reward.
In five minutes' time...
...you'll see my magic formula
in action.
We're going to see.
Quickly! Wigs!
Gloves!
The appalling child will be here...
...and you'll see my miracle.
Come on. Hurry up!
That's good.
Hurry up, everybody.
Come on!
Quickly!
You're not on holiday!
I'm being as quick as I can.
Hurry up!
Ready.
Hello, little boy.
Come on in then.
Come on.
Wait just there.
What's your name then?
Bruno.
Madam!
That lady promised me
six whole bars...
...of cream-whip hazelnut milk chocolate.
I've come to collect.
Ladies...
...may I introduce Bruno?
Come up, Bruno.
I have the chocolate here.
I said 6:15.
And that is 15 seconds from now.
You are in for a treat.
We all are!
What's going on?
Just a few moments.
Five...
I can't see any chocolates.
...three, two, one, zero!
We have ignition!
Everybody, look!
It's fantastic!
It's begun!
I can't stand it!
It's so wonderful!
It's fantastic!
Where'd he go?
Keys!
Enough! Silence!
Before the banquet tonight,
come to my room in groups of 10.
Room number 208.
I'll give you each a bottle
containing 500 doses.
Also plenty of money.
Do not forget your nose plugs
for the dinner.
The dining room will be full
of filthy children.
Without your nose plugs,
the stink will be unbearable.
Now we'll have drinks on the terrace
with that ridiculous manager.
Any questions?
What if one of the chocolates
were accidentally eaten by a grownup?
That's just too bad for the grownup.
The meeting is over.
Until next year.
Wait!
I smell...
...dog's droppings.
She's right.
The smell!
She's right!
Search out this small lump of dung!
Find it!
It must be exterminated immediately!
There he is!
He's wiggling through.
He's getting away.
Come here, boy.
Bring him to me!
There he is!
I saw him come this way.
Where could he be?
Bye-bye.
No! My baby! Stop!
A baby in a pram.
Lovely!
Oh, no.
Get the boy!
He's getting away!
Grandma, wake up!
Please, Grandma!
My grandma!
An old adversary,
I have discovered.
Very old.
If you hurt my grandma...
Silence!
We've got him, madam.
Don't bite.
Open up.
Five hundred doses.
Come along.
Get up.
Look.
This stinking little carbuncle
has had 500 doses.
We are having instantaneous action.
'Bye.
Kill him.
Kill him!
Leave that little stinkpot!
It's not worth bothering about.
Come. Some whiskey and
champagne to celebrate.
Bruno? I don't believe it,
I can talk.
Bruno?
Who's that?
Bruno, it's me. Luke.
I'm down here.
Where?
I can't see you.
Down here.
You can talk, too.
This is weird.
- This icing is terrific.
- Are you okay?
They didn't give me
the six bars of chocolate.
You couldn't eat six bars of candy
now that you're a mouse.
Don't be stupid.
I'm not a...
Just because you're a...
That doesn't mean that I'm a...
Good Lord.
I'm not too keen on being a mouse.
We gotta find a way out of here.
How long before we change back,
do you think?
I don't think we will.
Of course we will.
We've gotta get upstairs and wake
my grandma. I'm real worried about her.
Maybe it was the witch,
or her diabetes.
I only know
she didn't wake up when I...
She's got some peanuts, too.
Dry-roasted?
All right.
Come on.
William and Mary!
Hi. It's me, Luke.
Are you two all right?
Crikey. Did they eat
the chocolate as well?
They were my pet mice.
But I guess they can't talk like we can.
Catch you two later.
Come on, Bruno.
This way.
They're gone.
It's all clear.
Come on.
Wait for me.
Running on a full stomach
isn't good for you.
Better than being caught.
- Keep up, Bruno.
- Sports give me indigestion.
Get back.
Okay, when I say "go", go!
Go!
- Run!
- Wait.
Follow me.
How will we get upstairs?
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm paying for.
I really don't.
An overheated room.
Dad? Hey, there's my dad!
He doesn't know what's happened.
He'll kill you.
My own father?
The photographer of that brochure
should be arrested for fraud.
I'm going to tell him.
He'll put a stop to it.
No, not now.
Trust me, he'll stamp on you
the moment he sees you.
Quick!
It's so nice not having the kids around.
I smell food.
Is there anything in this bag?
They'll be fine.
I think John was getting a cold.
It's always the same.
You must relax once in a while.
All right.
This is it.
Let's go.
- No more sports!
- Hurry!
Faster! Faster!
I forgot my tail.
Keep to the side!
Being like this
might not be so bad.
There won't be any more school.
That would be all right.
Look at that.
Don't eat the cheese.
Remember, we've got two enemies now:
Humans and cats.
We've got three cats at home.
They'll have to go.
My mother loves them,
but she's terrified of mice.
Grandma!
Grandma!
Take your afternoon off tomorrow.
Let's go.
What? Hey, wait!
There are four more floors
to be done.
Yes, sir.
You do over there.
I'll get this one.
Back.
It bit me!
- What bit you?
- A mouse in the towel.
A mouse?
Is she sober?
Of course she's sober.
I've been with her all after...
I mean, I...
...I saw her...
Yes, she's sober.
Don't be stupid.
Go to the second floor.
Grandma! Grandma!
Here by the phone.
It's me Luke.
Are you all right?
Luke?
It's me, Grandma.
Luke!
It was the Grand High Witch.
She is in this hotel.
My God!
Don't cry.
It's okay.
Things could have been worse.
I got away from them.
I'm still alive.
My darling Luke.
What have they done to you?
They turned me into a mouse.
I'm sorry.
I can't stop shaking.
The Grand High Witch, here?
There's hundreds of them
right here in this hotel.
I knew it.
I could see it in her eyes.
Lord.
You squashed me.
Grandma.
This is Bruno Jenkins.
I'm sorry.
He said you've got dry-roast peanuts.
Yes.
Good. Thanks.
We've got to stop them.
They leave tomorrow with a bundle
of money and gallons of a formula...
...that will change every kid
in England into a mouse.
We must stop them.
- Miss Ernst.
- Lois.
Nice to see a bit of
international clientele.
- How do you do?
- Just flew in, did you?
What?
Jet lag's the curse of
the business classes.
Hope you don't mind me joining you.
You're most welcome, sir.
Herbert Jenkins.
I'd like to say hello
to a fellow philanthropist.
You collect stamps?
Charities.
This R.S.P.C.C.
What is this R.S. P...
Cruelty to children.
Of course, you give money
for the little...
...children and...
...we, of course...
...we also give money
for the little...
I see you're holding
your annual meeting.
Funnily enough...
...I addressed the last annual meeting
of our Rotary Club.
Do you know much
about this country's Rotary Club?
If I could get the formula
into their food...
You just have to get me down
to the Grand High Witch's room.
I'm ready.
I don't know.
I've got to find the formula.
No.
This is too dangerous.
Grandma.
It's not far down.
You're asking me to lower you
into the jaws of death.
You two can't take on
the Grand High Witch.
We can.
We've got to.
No one else will believe us.
Quick, before she comes back.
Luke, be careful.
Please be careful.
I'll be careful.
Don't worry.
Not so fast.
Be careful.
I will.
Oh, no!
Grandma!
Luke, what happened?
Are you all right?
Why don't you answer?
Down, cat.
No, cat.
Grandma, help!
Down, cat!
No. Go, cat.
Grandma!
Get away. Help!
Get him away, Grandma!
Help, Grandma!
Grandma, help!
Puss!
Grandma, come on!
Do something!
Get it, cat.
Cat, puss.
Come on.
Take it.
Keep him there, Grandma.
Come on,
you little kitten.
Come on, pussy.
Keep him busy.
Here. Take it.
Come on.
Take it, you silly cat.
Don't let him in.
Puss.
Here.
Hang on, tail.
Come on, formula.
Where are you?
It has been unforgettable,
Mr. Jenkins.
My pleasure, madam.
What a stimulating conversation
it has been.
It's not every day that one meets a lady
of such quality...
...and compassion.
It's got to be somewhere up here.
It's just got to be.
Oh, man.
We've got it, Grandma.
Did you realize
that was Bruno's father?
Dreadful man.
It was an act of mercy.
The child shall never grow up
to be like his father.
- Thanks.
- Liebchen?
Liebchen?
What is this?
I'm so sorry.
- I dropped my knitting.
- You!
I'm knitting for my grandson.
Have you seen him?
No, no.
Come, Liebchen.
I'm dreadfully sorry.
I do apologize.
That's quite all right.
If I see your grandson, I will...
I will turn him into a mouse.
And you, meddling old woman,
I'll deal with later.
- Room 208.
- I hope we're not the first.
Miss Ernst.
Who is it?
You told them to come up
after the drinks.
All right,
let them in.
Come in.
You were wonderful
this afternoon.
You bad cat, Liebchen.
So, when do you think
they'd implement it?
First of the year,
I suppose.
This is a very pleasant hotel.
The question is:
Would you like to work with them?
I've got the formula!
Thank God.
Darling, I was so worried.
There's 500 doses
in this one little bottle.
It's enough to change all the witches
in this hotel.
Where's Bruno?
There's some jolly good grapes here.
What's happening?
Nothing until dinnertime.
We've got to get you back
to your parents.
What time is it?
They'll be in the bar.
A sherry and a large malt whiskey
and soda...
...at 7:00 sharp.
It gives you an appetite.
Does it?
Come on.
Into my handbag,
both of you.
This is going to be difficult.
I'm full.
We've got to get to
the kitchen quickly.
That tickles.
Is that them?
Yes. Listen, Grandma.
Maybe we ought to...
No, wait! Listen.
Don't drown it.
- Sorry.
- Look what you've done!
She was drowning it.
Are you Mr. And Mrs. Jenkins?
Hole in one.
What can we do for you?
I'd like to have a word
with you about your son.
Sit down.
What's the little tyke
been up to now?
Raiding the kitchen,
I suppose.
If we could go somewhere more private.
Private?
Well, it is rather a...
...personal matter.
Look, Mrs. Whatever your name is...
...if Bruno has broken a window
or smashed your spectacles...
...I'll pay for it,
but we're not budging.
We always sit at this table.
Where is Bruno anyway?
Tell him to come and see me.
He is here already.
What?
In my handbag.
Your son has suffered a mishap.
He has been drastically altered.
Altered?
What do you mean, "altered"?
I'm trying to tell you
as gently as possible.
My grandson saw them
doing it to him.
Saw who doing what?
Saw the witches turn him
into a mouse.
Are you crackers?
Tell the manager to throw
this nutcase out of the hotel.
You need a funny farm, you do.
Tell them, Bruno.
It's a mouse!
I can't stand them!
Get it away from here!
It is Bruno.
Tell them, Bruno.
Get out of here!
How dare you!
- Tell them, Bruno.
- Get out of here.
It's me, Mum.
Out, before I call the police,
you barmy old loony.
I don't think
they recognize me.
Push off!
Never come back,
you stupid old witch!
I did my best, Bruno.
Don't worry, dear.
She's gone.
Evening, madam, I'm just popping
in to turn down your bed.
How is the room service here?
- Diabolical.
- Good.
How do you know
that woman upstairs?
Come along. Walk downstairs.
The lift is out of order.
I suppose it must be.
- It's a five-course meal.
- Good, I'm rather hungry.
I'd like to go home,
that's what I'd like.
- What are you doing here?
- The banquet.
No! Go to your room
and prepare for...
...tomorrow's flight.
Yes, have a good flight.
But it's our banquet!
You are not here
to enjoy yourself.
You are here as my staff.
Go to your room! Now!
Ladies.
I quit!
I can't go through with it.
We could go home, yes?
Grandma, if we don't try...
...every mother and father
in England will lose their kids.
- I know.
- We must do it.
- I'll remember.
- I'm so terrified.
Grandma, now!
No, madam.
Please, no.
I'm sorry.
This isn't the dining room.
I am sorry, truly.
The guests are not permitted, madam.
I am sorry, but...
One moment.
How is the cress soup
for the children's charity group?
A soup!
Very good,
but no more salt.
No more?
What are you doing?
Are you a murderer
or a chef?
They're everywhere.
Table 5 says
the veal's too tough.
I will take care of
this personally.
Chef!
The R.S.P.C.C. Party all want soup.
That's 87 for watercress.
Debby, bring the soup tureens.
He'll adore it now.
A magic touch, n'est-ce pas?
I'll check the soup
before it's served.
She's eating the soup.
I'll see you later.
We're short-staffed tonight.
I may be a little late.
I can wait.
What is it?
Now.
A mouse!
There's a mouse running around
in my bloody underpants!
For goodness sake.
Out of the way.
Get it out!
Somebody help me!
Take your trousers off,
you idiot!
Take your pants off.
Give me that.
Somebody get it out
before it bites me!
I got to get out of here.
Somebody get it out!
I saw it.
Do you see it?
Nothing.
There's nothing much in there.
A lot of fuss
about nothing. Mice.
It's gone.
Yes?
What kind of soup is that?
That is the cress soup.
If they're all having cress soup,
I'll have the cress soup.
That soup is specially made for
their party.
The soup on the menu tonight
is cock-a-leekie...
...and very nice it is, too.
But I don't want cock-a-leekie.
I don't like cock-a-leekie.
I like cress.
So take that back to the kitchen...
...and tell the chef there's one more order
for cress soup.
There's a laddie.
What's that then?
Don't touch it!
It's in the soup!
Don't touch the soup!
Child!
Good.
Hurry up.
Nearly 8:15.
No. I can't believe it.
Dear me!
No, madam, please.
Just a moment.
One more...
...cress soup, table 9.
Hi, Bruno.
Lovely, isn't it?
Red.
Yes.
Red.
I didn't want to be
one of them anyway.
I'll bring you
your main course.
- Well?
- I put it in the soup.
- The whole bottle?
- Every drop.
You angel.
You're bleeding.
A cook tried to cut off my tail
with a carving knife.
Look! The Grand High Witch
is eating the soup!
They all are.
Another roll, sir?
No, thanks.
I'd like some...
I'd like some black pepper, please.
- My God!
- What?
Bruno's father
is about to eat the soup, too.
- Stop him!
- Quick!
I agree, dear,
it's been a nightmare.
At least we got some cress soup.
Don't touch it!
I told you she was a loony.
She's an absolute nutter!
Look at my bloody soup!
And all that stuff about Bruno!
Bruno has been turned into...
He has not been turned into a...
Yes, I have.
Hello, Dad.
Don't worry, Dad.
It isn't all bad...
...just so long as the cat doesn't get me.
Bruno.
No more school,
no more homework.
I'll live in the kitchen cupboard.
This is a trick.
It's that whiskey.
Hello, Mum.
Would you like to know
who did this to Bruno?
It's working.
Let go of me!
My Formula 86!
Give me that spoon!
That woman over there.
She is the Grand High Witch.
Grandma,
she needs more time to become a...
She did it to Bruno...
...and thousands of other children
before him.
Good evening.
You're doomed,
old woman!
You're doomed forever!
It must work.
You.
This is it, Bruno.
Come on!
Get the mice!
One is a witch.
The most evil and appalling woman
in the world.
A loathsome...
...hideous disgrace!
Yeah, Grandma!
I'm not finished with you yet,
old woman!
Next time!
No next time.
This time it's your turn.
Herbert, do something!
It's in your garment.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Get that brown one!
No, the other one!
Look, it's her.
Get away from me!
Don't let her get away.
Get away!
Get me out of here!
Get out of my hotel!
Mr. Stringer.
There's an especially impetuous one
over there, under the water jug.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure.
Get away from me!
I tell you,
get away from me!
Get away from me!
My mum's not very crazy about mice.
So I see.
Here is Bruno.
- Thank you.
- He needs to go on a diet.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.
Stop it, dear. Stop it.
This is our Bruno.
Don't cry, Mum.
You'll get used to me.
Just a minute, Grandma.
'Bye, Bruno.
'Bye.
Excuse me.
You always wanted me
to lose weight.
Well, look at me now.
There. But I still don't understand.
I won't be long.
Come on, this way.
Right to the main dining room.
Hurry up.
- Your taxi, madam.
- Good-bye.
Put it down, Bill.
- That's it.
- You all right?
- Can you manage?
- I'm fine.
Look out.
There's a step.
- Mrs. Evershim?
- Yes.
- There's a trunk for you.
- A trunk?
- Will you sign for it?
- Yes, all right.
Come in.
Great!
It's arrived.
Don't open it yet.
Wait for me.
Put it down there.
That'll do fine.
All right, ma'am.
That's it.
Here I come.
Thank you.
I still have no idea
who it could be from.
This is really gonna surprise you.
Open it.
- But what is it?
- Open it.
Money!
I saw it in the Grand High Witch's room.
I figured we could use it
when we go to America.
America?
We've got to
go home because...
Look!
It was the Grand High Witch's.
It has the name and address
of every witch in America.
You are a genius.
"It doesn't matter who you are
and what you are
"As long as somebody loves you"
Luke.
What a day.
Perhaps we could find
a good witch...
...to turn you back
into my grandson.
I'll never be able to
drive a real car, will I?
I don't know.
How long do mice live?
I hope we have time to take on
those American witches.
Shall we go to New York?
I've never been to New York.
Can we travel by ship?
First class.
The best cabin.
The best of everything.
Good night, Grandma.
Good night, Luke.
I really am happy to be a mouse,
you know.
I know, my darling.
Grandma!
Grandma, what's happening?
Off you go,
back home to Luke.
Look, they're back!
Don't forget Bruno!