Wonderwall (1968) Movie Script
"In The First Place"
The Remo Four! George Harrison.
Day begins to crumble.
Can't believe my eyes.
Falling down and down and down.
It comes as no surprise.
I begin to stumble.
Losing my control.
Feeling like a blind man.
Who is searching for his soul.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
I've been feeling humble.
Since you went away.
Now I feel there's nothing left.
That's right for me to say.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again...
Goodnight.
Have a nice weekend, Mr. Collins.
Same to you, my dear Perkins.
Goodnight, Mr. Collins.
Have a nice weekend.
Have a nice weekend,
Mrs. Charmer.
"Check everything into order.
Return subject of experiment
to morgue.
Cheese to mice."
"Umbrella.
Briefcase."
"Electricity off."
Goodnight. Have a nice weekend.
"Microbes" by George Harrison
Ahhh!
Camera obscura. Ahhh!
"Wonderwall To Be Here"
by George Harrison.
No, no, Perkins!
Not with the sugar tongs!
Mother? Ls that you?
Ahhh!
"Red Lady Too"
by George Harrison.
Ah! No use, no use!
Out!
Out!
Out...
Oscar!
No, mother!
You're wrong, mother. No, no!
You're wrong. You're wrong.
Here you are, sir.
"Thank you"!
It's too much, man!
"Greasy Legs"
by George Harrison.
Oh! Mr. Collins.
Mrs. Peurofoy.
- I say, are these yours, dear?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Only I found them
outside on the landing.
Yes, I know, I know...
Crumbs!
- Ain't it a lovely day, Mr. Collins?
- Yes.
What's the matter with him?
I say, dear...
- Mr. Collins...
- Yes?
I've been meaning to tell you, sir,
two hours ain't enough.
- I beg your pardon?
- Two hours, it ain't enough time.
I mean I can't do a whole week's
washin' up in a couple of hours.
There's the laundry wants sorting.
I've got a bed to change.
- I beg your pardon, sir.
- Er... why?
- Why what?
- Why is it not possible?
Because it just ain't.
I mean you take the dishes alone.
I've got to wash and dry...
- You what what?
- Dry, sir.
Yes, I know it is. But it's not
going to last, Mrs. Peurofoy.
Do you hear that sound?
What?
Electricity.
Static electricity.
The air is full of it. Look.
Oh, I see.
- But I still think it isn't enough.
- Oh, it's more than enough.
I'm telling you straight,
Mr. Collins, it ain't.
Oh!
Oh, Mr. Collins!
Your lovely butterriies!
However did that happen?
I hit them with my time machine.
With your what machine?
Eh, the clock, Mrs. Peurofoy,
the alarm clock.
Oh, love'em, pretty dears.
Not to worry. They all riew away.
Free as a riutter.
Oh!
"Ski-Ing" by George Harrison.
"Gat Kirwani"
by George Harrison.
Oh, thank you, dear.
- You're hovering again!
- Pardon?
You're hoo...
- ...hovering again.
- Yes, I know, dear.
- I don't like it.
- Well, I must do it once a month, sir.
But it's only been
three weeks and a half.
No, dear, four.
Four weeks, Mr. Collins.
Oh, that's not right, Mrs. Peurofoy.
I'm behind my work.
No more hovering today,
Mrs. Peurofoy, please. Now go now.
But I've only done
the hour and a half.
That's all right. I'll pay you
for two. Here you are.
Oh, dear!
I don't think I got any change...
Oh, that's all right.
Take the lot. And just go.
Thank you very much, sir.
Sorry about the change.
By the way, is your daughter
any better, Mrs. Peurofoy?
Daughter? 'Bout daughter!
I'm not even married, dear.
Oh... Well, we shall all be married
sooner or later, eh, Mrs. Peurofoy?
Says you.
Good bye.
"Drilling a Home"
by George Harrison.
"At very close range,
c.f. intermolecular
strong repulsive forces
are not known..."
Of course. Of course!
But apples...
Apples!
Why, my good man, they've
been falling down for years.
But from that to infer that...
Well...
Hmmmm.
Could it be possible?
Well, eppur si muove.
Somebody had to think of it
sooner or later. Huh!
Those Americans.
No wonder. Such budgets!
"Love Scene"
by George Harrison.
"Dream Scene"
by George Harrison.
"Cowboy Music"
by George Harrison.
Hullo?
Listen, he keeps inviting
you out with people.
If he wants you for a movie,
he's gonna ring up your agent, right?
What's the problem?
Oh, um... We're having
a bit of trouble at the moment.
No, she's doing great.
Yeah, we're having a party tonight.
I'd like you to come along.
It's at eight o'clock.
Ask for me
and I'll look after you, course.
Yeah, you'll be okay.
That's what I like about you.
You're much cooler than the others.
Yeah.
Okay. See you then.
Bye.
Oh, that's the boy, Fido.
Hi there.
Remember me?
We met at the elevator.
I'm sorry to disturb you.
Could you spare us some ice?
- Ice from the fridge.
- Er... fridge?
Refrigerator.
Oh. Yes, by all means.
Excuse me.
May I?
- It seems to be stuck.
- Yes.
- There we are.
- That's a lot of ice you got there.
Well, I hope there's enough for you.
- What's that?
- Oh, that's a mantis.
A praying mantis.
It is a tropical insect.
This is the female.
A solitary creature.
She has a habit of devouring
the male of the species
after the love embrace.
- Just like birds.
- Oh, no, no... You're wrong.
Birds are essentially monogamous
and love their mates.
I mean girls.
Oh, I see.
- Well, I have to split.
- Split?
- I mean I must be going.
- Oh!
I hope the party's not disturbing you.
It's for Penny, my girl.
She's got a cover on Vogue.
Vogue, the fashion magazine.
Oh, congratulations.
Not for me. The cycle of Pisces
is coming to an end.
Thanks for everything, Professor.
It was beautiful. So long.
Penny.
"Party Seacombe"
by George Harrison.
"Guru Vandana"
by George Harrison.
Nice cup of tea for you, Mr. Collins.
We have finished, sir.
Finished? Yes?
- Yes. None of them were positive.
- None?
Well, definitely not bubonic plague.
- Pity.
- I beg your pardon?
Pity.
Mr. Collins...
I'm talking about the analyses.
Yes, the analyses, obviously.
- How do you like the sheets?
- Red.
Red?! The water reports?
I mean... send them on.
Huh? Aren't you going
to verify the reports?
Absolutely not. I have work to do.
I... can't see her now.
I can't see her any more.
Mr. Collins, aren't you
feeling very well?
I feel a bit dizzy.
Perhaps you'd better
lie down for a moment.
Lie down... Do you think so?
Yes, I do, certainly.
Frankly, sir, you look
quite off colour.
Once again, thanks for
seeing me home and in bed.
It's only natural that I would.
Well, sleep well, Mr. Collins.
- Goodbye.
- Till tomorrow.
"Glass Box" by George Harrison.
To eat...
or not to eat...
"GlassBox".
Mr. Collins? Perkins here, sir.
I just wanted to know
if you were getting on all right.
What do you mean,
waking me up at dawn?
It's noon already.
- Noon'?
- Yes, sir.
And I... Well, we here are worried
about you, sir. Are you all right?
I'm fine, fine! Goodbye, Perkins.
PENNY ON TAPE'. Area dries
quickly and invisibly over,
melting right into the skin
to soften expressions...
Slim as a lipstick always at hand
for fast convenient application
many times a day...
And you can play with it, for people
who like to play both ways...
Mind you elastic suspension
trims uneven surfaces.
Luxury use is only half the story.
It's the deep acting Lanolin
that does it. Mmm.
Oh, yes.
Perkins. What are you
doing out there?
Well, Mr. Collins, sir. It's been
more than a week and I... we...
Well, what I mean is the line
was always engaged
so I said to myself
"you must go there".
One second, Perkins.
I'm no longer a child, you know.
I have the right
to be alone, isolated.
- Yes, but, Mr. Collins, I...
- It's unbelievable.
What do you think I am doing?
- I don't know, sir.
- You don't know.
Well, I'm working, that's what.
I'm carrying out experiments of
the greatest importance to mankind.
- What are you looking at?
- Me? Nothing, sir.
There are times, Perkins,
when I must admit
I find your behaviour very strange.
Very strange indeed.
It's only your health
I'm worried about, sir.
Well, in that case
I've got news for you, Perkins.
I've got the measles.
You can't come in here.
- I've already had measles.
- Oh, no, you haven't. Not this kind.
This is a new microbe.
Highly contagious.
You're not even allowed
to talk to me.
Perkins...
Don't forget to wash
your hands in alcohol.
And don't go near the water.
Go away.
"On The Bed"
by George Harrison.
Forty percent...
Forty-five percent...
- Good morning.
- Oh!
- Are you alright?
- Yes.
- Sorry to disturb you, Professor.
- Oh, not at all, not at all.
Well, this is very embarrassing.
Penny, my girlfriend,
wanted to ask you...
Yes, yes? What is it?
You wouldn't have
any spare bananas, would you?
Oh, yes!
I mean... no. I'm awfully sorry.
How about some sugar?
Sugar? Yes, of course.
Do come inside.
Ah! Here we are.
Here. You can take it all.
Oh, sugar cubes. Beautiful.
It looks as if your pet vermin
are not well.
Oh, they're orthoptera, not vermin.
They don't look good
all the same to me.
- Do you live alone?
- Yes. Yes.
- I wish I could.
- Could what?
Have my own apartment.
Live alone for a while.
Oh, no, no, thank you.
I don't smoke.
God, it's a drag.
What is? Smoking?
Women. You wouldn't believe it.
No, I wouldn't.
You see, I have this girl
who is in a mess.
She's getting so uptight,
I don't know which way to break.
Indeed.
She's into the model scene.
Have you caught her scotches?
Scotches? Ls she an alcoholic?
- No. I mean her legs, her ankles.
- Oh!
She's so involved with that model
fantasy, it's driving her crazy.
Crying in her sleep and all that.
Yes, I know.
I mean she must be very
disturbed, mentally that is.
I'm no head shrinker.
Oh, no. No, you're not.
D'you remember that song...
"I've got to find a reason
for leaving this girl"?
- That's my song.
- No. I don't like songs.
Music is just organised noise.
And noise is poison to the mind.
That's what's the matter
Too much music.
Thank you very much
for the sugar cubes, Professor.
- I have to be going along now.
- Let me show you the door.
Well, Professor,
thanks for everything.
You are pregnant.
"In The First Place"
The Remo Four! George Harrison.
Day begins to crumble.
Can't believe my eyes.
Falling down and down and down.
It comes as no surprise.
I begin to stumble.
Losing my control.
Feeling like a blind man.
Who is searching for his soul.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
"Wonderwall To Be Here"
by George Harrison.
Help!
L Say, help!
Au secours!
Help!
H-E-L-P!
'I shall start a new life.
That's what you must do when
you are born for a second time."'
- Good morning, all.
- Oh, good morning, sir.
On...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Perkins!
Perkins, come and see. Hooh!
Oh, Perkins, hurry up, man!
It's... it's... it's... it's...
"Singing Om" by George Harrison
The Remo Four! George Harrison.
Day begins to crumble.
Can't believe my eyes.
Falling down and down and down.
It comes as no surprise.
I begin to stumble.
Losing my control.
Feeling like a blind man.
Who is searching for his soul.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
I've been feeling humble.
Since you went away.
Now I feel there's nothing left.
That's right for me to say.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again...
Goodnight.
Have a nice weekend, Mr. Collins.
Same to you, my dear Perkins.
Goodnight, Mr. Collins.
Have a nice weekend.
Have a nice weekend,
Mrs. Charmer.
"Check everything into order.
Return subject of experiment
to morgue.
Cheese to mice."
"Umbrella.
Briefcase."
"Electricity off."
Goodnight. Have a nice weekend.
"Microbes" by George Harrison
Ahhh!
Camera obscura. Ahhh!
"Wonderwall To Be Here"
by George Harrison.
No, no, Perkins!
Not with the sugar tongs!
Mother? Ls that you?
Ahhh!
"Red Lady Too"
by George Harrison.
Ah! No use, no use!
Out!
Out!
Out...
Oscar!
No, mother!
You're wrong, mother. No, no!
You're wrong. You're wrong.
Here you are, sir.
"Thank you"!
It's too much, man!
"Greasy Legs"
by George Harrison.
Oh! Mr. Collins.
Mrs. Peurofoy.
- I say, are these yours, dear?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Only I found them
outside on the landing.
Yes, I know, I know...
Crumbs!
- Ain't it a lovely day, Mr. Collins?
- Yes.
What's the matter with him?
I say, dear...
- Mr. Collins...
- Yes?
I've been meaning to tell you, sir,
two hours ain't enough.
- I beg your pardon?
- Two hours, it ain't enough time.
I mean I can't do a whole week's
washin' up in a couple of hours.
There's the laundry wants sorting.
I've got a bed to change.
- I beg your pardon, sir.
- Er... why?
- Why what?
- Why is it not possible?
Because it just ain't.
I mean you take the dishes alone.
I've got to wash and dry...
- You what what?
- Dry, sir.
Yes, I know it is. But it's not
going to last, Mrs. Peurofoy.
Do you hear that sound?
What?
Electricity.
Static electricity.
The air is full of it. Look.
Oh, I see.
- But I still think it isn't enough.
- Oh, it's more than enough.
I'm telling you straight,
Mr. Collins, it ain't.
Oh!
Oh, Mr. Collins!
Your lovely butterriies!
However did that happen?
I hit them with my time machine.
With your what machine?
Eh, the clock, Mrs. Peurofoy,
the alarm clock.
Oh, love'em, pretty dears.
Not to worry. They all riew away.
Free as a riutter.
Oh!
"Ski-Ing" by George Harrison.
"Gat Kirwani"
by George Harrison.
Oh, thank you, dear.
- You're hovering again!
- Pardon?
You're hoo...
- ...hovering again.
- Yes, I know, dear.
- I don't like it.
- Well, I must do it once a month, sir.
But it's only been
three weeks and a half.
No, dear, four.
Four weeks, Mr. Collins.
Oh, that's not right, Mrs. Peurofoy.
I'm behind my work.
No more hovering today,
Mrs. Peurofoy, please. Now go now.
But I've only done
the hour and a half.
That's all right. I'll pay you
for two. Here you are.
Oh, dear!
I don't think I got any change...
Oh, that's all right.
Take the lot. And just go.
Thank you very much, sir.
Sorry about the change.
By the way, is your daughter
any better, Mrs. Peurofoy?
Daughter? 'Bout daughter!
I'm not even married, dear.
Oh... Well, we shall all be married
sooner or later, eh, Mrs. Peurofoy?
Says you.
Good bye.
"Drilling a Home"
by George Harrison.
"At very close range,
c.f. intermolecular
strong repulsive forces
are not known..."
Of course. Of course!
But apples...
Apples!
Why, my good man, they've
been falling down for years.
But from that to infer that...
Well...
Hmmmm.
Could it be possible?
Well, eppur si muove.
Somebody had to think of it
sooner or later. Huh!
Those Americans.
No wonder. Such budgets!
"Love Scene"
by George Harrison.
"Dream Scene"
by George Harrison.
"Cowboy Music"
by George Harrison.
Hullo?
Listen, he keeps inviting
you out with people.
If he wants you for a movie,
he's gonna ring up your agent, right?
What's the problem?
Oh, um... We're having
a bit of trouble at the moment.
No, she's doing great.
Yeah, we're having a party tonight.
I'd like you to come along.
It's at eight o'clock.
Ask for me
and I'll look after you, course.
Yeah, you'll be okay.
That's what I like about you.
You're much cooler than the others.
Yeah.
Okay. See you then.
Bye.
Oh, that's the boy, Fido.
Hi there.
Remember me?
We met at the elevator.
I'm sorry to disturb you.
Could you spare us some ice?
- Ice from the fridge.
- Er... fridge?
Refrigerator.
Oh. Yes, by all means.
Excuse me.
May I?
- It seems to be stuck.
- Yes.
- There we are.
- That's a lot of ice you got there.
Well, I hope there's enough for you.
- What's that?
- Oh, that's a mantis.
A praying mantis.
It is a tropical insect.
This is the female.
A solitary creature.
She has a habit of devouring
the male of the species
after the love embrace.
- Just like birds.
- Oh, no, no... You're wrong.
Birds are essentially monogamous
and love their mates.
I mean girls.
Oh, I see.
- Well, I have to split.
- Split?
- I mean I must be going.
- Oh!
I hope the party's not disturbing you.
It's for Penny, my girl.
She's got a cover on Vogue.
Vogue, the fashion magazine.
Oh, congratulations.
Not for me. The cycle of Pisces
is coming to an end.
Thanks for everything, Professor.
It was beautiful. So long.
Penny.
"Party Seacombe"
by George Harrison.
"Guru Vandana"
by George Harrison.
Nice cup of tea for you, Mr. Collins.
We have finished, sir.
Finished? Yes?
- Yes. None of them were positive.
- None?
Well, definitely not bubonic plague.
- Pity.
- I beg your pardon?
Pity.
Mr. Collins...
I'm talking about the analyses.
Yes, the analyses, obviously.
- How do you like the sheets?
- Red.
Red?! The water reports?
I mean... send them on.
Huh? Aren't you going
to verify the reports?
Absolutely not. I have work to do.
I... can't see her now.
I can't see her any more.
Mr. Collins, aren't you
feeling very well?
I feel a bit dizzy.
Perhaps you'd better
lie down for a moment.
Lie down... Do you think so?
Yes, I do, certainly.
Frankly, sir, you look
quite off colour.
Once again, thanks for
seeing me home and in bed.
It's only natural that I would.
Well, sleep well, Mr. Collins.
- Goodbye.
- Till tomorrow.
"Glass Box" by George Harrison.
To eat...
or not to eat...
"GlassBox".
Mr. Collins? Perkins here, sir.
I just wanted to know
if you were getting on all right.
What do you mean,
waking me up at dawn?
It's noon already.
- Noon'?
- Yes, sir.
And I... Well, we here are worried
about you, sir. Are you all right?
I'm fine, fine! Goodbye, Perkins.
PENNY ON TAPE'. Area dries
quickly and invisibly over,
melting right into the skin
to soften expressions...
Slim as a lipstick always at hand
for fast convenient application
many times a day...
And you can play with it, for people
who like to play both ways...
Mind you elastic suspension
trims uneven surfaces.
Luxury use is only half the story.
It's the deep acting Lanolin
that does it. Mmm.
Oh, yes.
Perkins. What are you
doing out there?
Well, Mr. Collins, sir. It's been
more than a week and I... we...
Well, what I mean is the line
was always engaged
so I said to myself
"you must go there".
One second, Perkins.
I'm no longer a child, you know.
I have the right
to be alone, isolated.
- Yes, but, Mr. Collins, I...
- It's unbelievable.
What do you think I am doing?
- I don't know, sir.
- You don't know.
Well, I'm working, that's what.
I'm carrying out experiments of
the greatest importance to mankind.
- What are you looking at?
- Me? Nothing, sir.
There are times, Perkins,
when I must admit
I find your behaviour very strange.
Very strange indeed.
It's only your health
I'm worried about, sir.
Well, in that case
I've got news for you, Perkins.
I've got the measles.
You can't come in here.
- I've already had measles.
- Oh, no, you haven't. Not this kind.
This is a new microbe.
Highly contagious.
You're not even allowed
to talk to me.
Perkins...
Don't forget to wash
your hands in alcohol.
And don't go near the water.
Go away.
"On The Bed"
by George Harrison.
Forty percent...
Forty-five percent...
- Good morning.
- Oh!
- Are you alright?
- Yes.
- Sorry to disturb you, Professor.
- Oh, not at all, not at all.
Well, this is very embarrassing.
Penny, my girlfriend,
wanted to ask you...
Yes, yes? What is it?
You wouldn't have
any spare bananas, would you?
Oh, yes!
I mean... no. I'm awfully sorry.
How about some sugar?
Sugar? Yes, of course.
Do come inside.
Ah! Here we are.
Here. You can take it all.
Oh, sugar cubes. Beautiful.
It looks as if your pet vermin
are not well.
Oh, they're orthoptera, not vermin.
They don't look good
all the same to me.
- Do you live alone?
- Yes. Yes.
- I wish I could.
- Could what?
Have my own apartment.
Live alone for a while.
Oh, no, no, thank you.
I don't smoke.
God, it's a drag.
What is? Smoking?
Women. You wouldn't believe it.
No, I wouldn't.
You see, I have this girl
who is in a mess.
She's getting so uptight,
I don't know which way to break.
Indeed.
She's into the model scene.
Have you caught her scotches?
Scotches? Ls she an alcoholic?
- No. I mean her legs, her ankles.
- Oh!
She's so involved with that model
fantasy, it's driving her crazy.
Crying in her sleep and all that.
Yes, I know.
I mean she must be very
disturbed, mentally that is.
I'm no head shrinker.
Oh, no. No, you're not.
D'you remember that song...
"I've got to find a reason
for leaving this girl"?
- That's my song.
- No. I don't like songs.
Music is just organised noise.
And noise is poison to the mind.
That's what's the matter
Too much music.
Thank you very much
for the sugar cubes, Professor.
- I have to be going along now.
- Let me show you the door.
Well, Professor,
thanks for everything.
You are pregnant.
"In The First Place"
The Remo Four! George Harrison.
Day begins to crumble.
Can't believe my eyes.
Falling down and down and down.
It comes as no surprise.
I begin to stumble.
Losing my control.
Feeling like a blind man.
Who is searching for his soul.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
Never be the same.
Never be the same again.
Will it ever be the same again.
As it was in the first place.
"Wonderwall To Be Here"
by George Harrison.
Help!
L Say, help!
Au secours!
Help!
H-E-L-P!
'I shall start a new life.
That's what you must do when
you are born for a second time."'
- Good morning, all.
- Oh, good morning, sir.
On...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Perkins!
Perkins, come and see. Hooh!
Oh, Perkins, hurry up, man!
It's... it's... it's... it's...
"Singing Om" by George Harrison