Wristcutters: A Love Story (Pizzeria Kamikaze) (2006) Movie Script
I think she cried at my funeral.
I don't mean to brag about it or anything,
but I'm pretty sure she did.
Sometimes I can picture her talking about me
to some guy she feels really close to.
You're never going
to see him again, you know?
How they lowered me
into the grave
all pathetic and shriveled up,
Iike a melted chocolate bar
or something.
About how we never
actually got a chance.
Then the guy fucks her real nice-
a fuck that's all about
making her feel better.
Soon after I killed myself,
I found a job here at Kamikaze Pizza.
It's not a great job, but it'll do for a while.
The manager was cool enough
to hook me up with a place to live, too,
with this Austrian guy named Erik.
You did it again, Zia.
Did what?
Don't play dumb. You promised.
If you're going to live in this apartment,
you have to sit while you piss.
That. I'm sorry. I forgot.
How in the world you forget
something like that?
Sit, sit, sit.
Who could think
of a better punishment, really?
Everything's the same here.
It's just a little worse.
I've thought about suicide again,
but I haven't tried it.
I didn't want to end up
in a bigger shit hole than this one.
Yeah, I was missing Desiree.
I even had a feeling
that this whole suicide thing
just made me miss her
and love her more.
But...who knows?
Maybe you just need a drink.
Hi.
Listen, my friend Rachel and l,
we play this game
where we try to figure out
how people off themselves.
We were just guessing about you.
How'd you do it?
Three points for me!
That's an extremely rude question to ask.
Precisely.
That's what the game's all about.
I see. What about you?
Me?
No, no, no, no, no.
Look at him.
He can't stop burping.
It's definitely drowning.
No, I'm telling you,
look at the bluish face.
It's got to be gas.
Go over and ask him.
No. I don't know about this one.
- He seems ill-humored.
- No, no, you got to-
Why don't you try it with me?
Do you know this guy?
I'll bet you girls a beer you won't guess.
Tania, look who's here.
We'll be right back.
Right back.
I will tell you something.
Whenever a chick says
" I'll be right back, "
write them off, man.
They always end up leaving
with some retarded big-Joe guy.
So what was it?
What was what?
How did you, uh,
you know, off yourself?
Oh, that.
Let me go, lovely
Let me go
You guys suck!
Suck big time!
Get off the stage!
Fuck it all!
Jesus! Go home, man!
Boo!
You offed with the guitar?
Sure, I did.
On stage, man.
It was wild.
Iggy Pop almost came to see that gig.
No way.
It's true.
I live with my parents
and my kid brother Kostya.
You're fucking with me.
I'm not fucking with you.
I've never heard of
a whole family here before.
Mom...
offed because she was
missing Russia a lot.
And my father, he just didn't feel
like going on without her.
But what really did it for him
was my little brother turning out to be gay.
And your kid brother?
- Kostya?
- Kostya.
I guess he had it in his genes, man.
That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard, man.
When, uh, Kostya came here,
my father-
a man who wouldn't cry-
if you dropped 10-pound
sledgehammer on his foot.
Hugged kid, though,
and cried like baby. No shit.
Wow.
We have to kill those germs.
- For borscht...
- We have a saying in Russia.
How much you eat,
that's how old you are.
My grandpa, before
he'd hire anybody,
he'd feed them a free meal.
- Those who ate the most-
- Whoa.
...that's the ones
he hired, 'cause-
Those were the best workers.
Are you trying
to hire me or something?
How about
doing the dishes after dinner?
Kostya, no.
You know, Zia, dishwashing was Eugene's
first job in America.
No way.
I did a lot of shit.
Last job I had before I offed
was waiting tables.
I thought it was the band thing.
I had to eat, too.
You know, I wish
we were there for Eugene.
You see, Zia, all of us,
we were always together.
First in Russia,
then in America, now here.
When lvan and I came here and left our boys
alone, they just couldn't make-
Mom, that's all over now.
Yeah.
Where are you from, Zia?
Uh, New Jersey.
Oh. What about your parents?
Uh, it's- it's a long story.
It's not- Basically, at the end,
- I hadn't talk to them in a while.
- Zia, it's okay.
They hadn't talked to each other.
It is, yeah.
Nyet.
Not every family is lucky like we are.
That's true.
But all of us being together...
You know,
I'd be here a long time ago
if it weren't for Eugene.
Yeah? How come?
I was 10.
We had these soccer finals.
I was the goalie for my school.
Eugene!
Don't you hear I'm jamming?
How is it possible
for the better team to lose?
We didn't deserve to!
The ball just wouldn't get in!
And they won it in the finals!
So what's the point of living
when life is so unfair
and everything?
I'm just telling you this because you're
the smartest person I know.
If you don't give me one
good reason to keep living
and tell me what's the meaning of life,
I'm gonna do this.
Step down from the table.
No. First tell me.
Step down from the table,
and I'll tell you.
He just smacked you?
Yeah.
I don't exactly know what he was trying
to tell me when he did it,
but it worked fine
up until a couple months ago.
You know, when I see
you guys like this,
it kind of makes me
miss my parents,
even though most of the time
they just kind of freaked me out.
You know...
why didn't we move in together earlier?
'Cause we didn't know
it'd be this fun.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I love those things.
These what? These?
Who? Ophelia?
Desiree.
Whatever. An ex-girlfriend from an ex-life.
Listen, tonight when we go out,
man, you got to promise-
No, no, no. Eugene, I'm not going out
tonight or any other night.
- What?
- It just makes me depressed.
So what are you going to do?
Kill yourself?
I don't know. Maybe.
As if anything would make you happy.
I love you.
- I love you.
- You do?
Did you finish my cottage cheese?
Zia, did you finish my cottage cheese?
Calm down, Erik. I'll buy you
some more cottage cheese.
No. That's not the point.
I was planning on having some right now.
Don't you have a plan B
or something?
Zia, you do it all the time!
All right! All right!
I'll go get some more
cottage cheese.
Zia?
I was hoping we'd run into
each other sooner or later.
Brian, what are you doing here?
Same as everyone else.
Same as everyone else.
Only it's got a little something to do with you.
Oh, yeah?
Did you come all the way here
to get the 200 bucks I owe you?
Ha ha. You were always a million laughs.
But, no, that's not it.
You know how people say that
suicides happen in threes?
Well, there's something to that.
Hey, is this cheese any good?
Uh, my roommate likes it.
You know, when people start
offing themselves around you,
you start asking yourself,
what makes me so different?
You know?
What's keeping me alive?
Then it hit me like a mallet.
I don't have the answers.
T oo much sodium.
But I think it was Desiree's suicide
that really hit me.
- D-Desiree's what?
- Yeah, Desiree's.
She offed herself about a month after you.
I figured you'd know that.
- No.
- Hey!
What about the 200 you owe me?
I still want that.
So I'm saying I got a pretty good idea
she's not in the city.
Call it, you know, intuition or whatever.
Listen, man, worst-case scenario,
we just take a ride, right?
Who, we?
All right.
Let me put it this way.
Since you got here,
how many times did you get laid, man?
- Why?
- Just a question.
Actually laid?
Yes.
- None, I think.
- You think?
None. But what's that got
to do with any of this?
Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high,
you think you're having
an out-of-body experience
Iike nobody in the whole
fucking universe, man.
Eugene.
Sperm count too high?
That's a crock.
Listen, man, just let me borrow the car.
You don't have to do anything else.
Don't- Don't get so touchy
on me all of a sudden.
All I said is not good enough reason
for me to go.
Listen, you know what?
Forget Desiree.
I got another reason for you to go.
Give it a shot.
You got anything better to do?
I mean, what's the big deal?
It's just the headlights, right?
You wouldn't
believe how many times
I've tried to have it fixed.
You're telling me this now?
I mean, this means we can't
drive at night. At all.
We'll stop somewhere
before it gets dark.
We'll just get them fixed.
It's on me. I'll pay for it.
If you insist.
But I'll bet you a beer it can't be fixed.
Let's get some music, man.
What is this? These work, right?
- Oh, shit.
- What?
Anything that goes underneath that seat,
forget about it.
Is there a hole or something?
Yeah.
No. It's, uh...
Kind of.
It's more like- I guess you'd say black hole
or a- a- a Bermuda Triangle.
You know, things just
disappear on you.
That's not very good.
What is it?
- It's my old band.
- Really?
I had it in my pocket when I offed.
T ake that for a sec.
Oh, man, that's worse
than I remember.
What are you talking about? I like it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
It's not bad at all.
Mike's Car Shop.
Perfect timing, huh?
I'll bet you a beer they can't fix it.
You're on, man.
Uh, okay.
Um, uh, it's broken.
And so I don't- I don't-
I'm not sure what it is that's wrong.
But Mike is my- is my boss,
and he's an absolute genius.
We're gonna get it fixed.
You guys just wait right here.
Okay? Okay?
Hey, see that car?
It's been cruising back and forth
since we got here.
I saw it five times already.
It's a taxicab, Eugene.
Think, man.
Who the fuck would need taxi here?
I don't- I don't know.
What are you trying to say?
Look at the driver.
- Why?
- He's Arab.
You've never seen
an Arab taxi driver before?
Oh, sure, I did.
But not since I offed.
Connect the dots.
Arabs, suicides.
Doesn't that freak you out
even a little bit?
No, man. You sound
like a fucking, uh,
Homeland Security agent.
I mean, you forget where we are.
He's dead already.
We're dead.
Everybody here is dead.
He's not gonna try anything.
Nobody gives a shit here.
We're all immigrants now, man.
Then why is he looking
at me like that?
'Cause you're staring at him
like you need a fucking taxicab.
Quit looking at him. He'll go away.
Oh, shoot.
It looks like we're staying here tonight.
Hey, boy, how you doin'? You're pretty.
Hey, Jimmy, why don't you
go start this thing up?
Let's hear this beauty moan.
Well... Moan?
No, no. We just want to-
The headlights.
Oh, you need a-
You need an exhaust system,
valves got to be adjusted.
Oh, what a bitch
of a fuel pump you got in there.
No, no, no, no. No, no.
We just want to fix the headlights.
Honey, are you home?
Honey?
He hasn't slept a wink
since we got here.
We'll fix your headlights by tomorrow.
- Get them fixed by tomorrow.
- T omorrow?
Yeah. T omorrow.
Fucking shift stick.
This is the last time I sleep in the car.
Yeah.
Where are my shades?
I dr- I dropped them.
Man, I told you to be
careful about that, man.
- I know, I know.
- God damn it.
I was, Eugene. It's- It's so bright.
I didn't mean to drop them
under there.
I gotta- I gotta piss, man.
Aah! God damn!
What the hell?
Morning, boys.
Nothing like a good
night's sleep, huh?
These headlights
are giving me a headache.
But you give me a day or two,
I'll have it fixed up
once and for all and forever.
That's how Mike does it.
Once and all and for- forever.
Wait. Look at this,
look at this, look at this.
Looks like you owe me
first beer of the day.
I told you, man. No one can fix
the headlights in this car.
You asleep?
Yeah, man, I'm asleep.
You're missing a lot of beautiful shit.
Can't believe you lost my shades.
Holy shit.
Oh, geez!
What the- Wait. What- Oh-
Eugene, what?
What?
Afternoon, lady.
Where you guys going?
East-ish.
East-ish?
You guys don't have any clue
where you're going, do you?
Well, you haven't been here very long, right?
Why's that?
'Cause if anybody here had a clue,
we wouldn't be here in the first place.
True.
I am pretty new.
Actually, I've been hitchhiking
ever since I got here.
How come?
Because I'm looking
for the people in charge.
- People in charge?
- Yeah.
Just where do you think you are?
Some kind of country club
where you can just walk
into the main office?
Tell me, please,
when you were still living,
did you ever try to go looking for God?
No. But I really didn't have
any reason to back then.
And what reason do you have now?
I mean, you know,
are you just sorry you offed?
You, uh, changed your mind?
Because, you know, if that's the case,
and you're just waiting
for visa back home-
- Eugene, Eugene, Eugene.
- What? What?
What's your name?
Mikal.
- What's your name?
- Zia.
- Eugene.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Thanks.
So you're trying to leave?
You don't like it here?
Are you joking?
Do you guys like it here?
Who the hell likes being stuck in a place
where you can't even smile?
It's hot as balls. Everybody's an asshole.
I just want to go home.
- I don't know.
- I like it.
Yeah, better than sleeping
in the car, man.
All right.
I'll go get the cashier.
I like that it has a window right here.
It's nice.
You want to try it out?
What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
I think I'm gonna go
see how Zia's doing.
I wonder if people who die normally
end up with no stars.
I really miss the stars.
You get used to it.
I don't want to get used to it.
I want to go home.
This guy who gave me
a ride the other day,
he said that he actually heard rumors
about the people in charge.
Um, apparently they wear
white outfits or something.
That's a crock of shit- white outfits.
He was just trying to get into your pants.
No, he wasn't.
He said he thought I had a really good case.
Oh, and what makes
your case so special,
if you don't mind me asking?
That I got here by mistake.
Well, we all got here by some mistake
one way or another.
And believe me,
you have as much chance
at finding your folks in white
as Zia has to find his dead princess.
You don't know that.
No, you don't. I bet he'll find her.
Yeah. Besides, I got a hunch
she's not that far away.
Wherever she is,
I bet she found someone by now.
Probably some black guy
who hanged himself by his dick.
It wouldn't matter, Eugene.
You know, I was thinking.
Yeah?
If you were to ever cheat on me...
make sure you do it
with somebody who's really pretty.
What are you-
What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna cheat on you.
Why do you say that?
I know, baby.
Hey, Eugene, do you mind if I drive?
I'll get us there in half the time.
Get us where?
Over there.
Oh, there.
All right, then.
I'm not sitting in the back.
Why not?
'Cause everybody knows
guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.
- What?
- That's a fact.
If the guy in the back seat
had a cock,
he wouldn't be back there
in the first place.
Well, l- I mean, I got a cock, man.
So how can- I'm not-
Mik, do you have a cock?
Yeah, I have a cock.
A big fat one.
I'm looking for the people in charge
because I'm here by mistake.
I'm not supposed to be here.
I've been looking for a while.
I'm looking for a girl named Desiree.
Short blonde hair,
about this tall.
I'm not sure what you're
trying to accomplish is completely legal.
- Well, that's very-
- Can I see some l. D.?
We're looking for the people in charge
of this place
because I've only been
here a couple weeks
and I got here by mistake.
Did I show you-
Thanks, "Ociffer, " but we...
The people in charge.
- Nyet, Mom.
- P.I. C.
About this tall.
Her name's Desiree. She's really pretty.
When there's a trap
Set up for you
In every corner of your room
And so
The only way to go
Is
Through the roof
Through the roof
Underground
Through the roof
Underground
And as we crossing border after border
We realize the differences now
It's underdogs who
And if you want it, too
You'll always have to make your own fun
Hey, man, you need
to wipe these off for me.
# The local cultures
are dying and dying #
# The product growers
are buying and buying #
Man, are you doing that
intentionally to hurt me?
No. No. It's- It's not my fault.
I just wanted you to clean those off.
- I know. I was cleaning.
- That's a hole. I told you.
You want to see if my hat
drops down the hole?
No, I'm not gonna
drop your hat in the hole!
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
Here's my tobacco.
See if that goes down.
Guys, guys, please stop bickering.
Please?
Eugene, there's a diner right there.
Will you stop?
Good. Perf- Perfect timing.
And you, don't touch my stuff no more.
- You handed me the shades, man.
- Don't touch my stuff no more.
Yes, Mama.
Didn't he already talk
to his mom this morning?
Yeah, but, supposedly,
that's, uh, normal in Russia.
I don't think that's normal anywhere.
Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna go get some smokes.
Do you want anything?
Next time you grab my ass,
I'm going to tell your mom, asshole, okay?
Okay?
All I'm saying is neither of us
have scored with her, you know?
I don't know about that.
The other night, uh, she said
she thought you were cute.
Cute?
That's what they say about a puppy.
The only thing worse
is "good friend" or "nice person. "
In plain English it means
" I'll leech off you as long as I can,
but don't even think
about getting into my pants. "
Yeah, well, you might be right about that.
Of course I'm right.
I say we get rid of her while we still can.
I mean, look.
Look at what we're losing out on
because of her.
Yeah, I don't know.
The whole "people in charge" thing
is a little weird.
See? That's what I'm talking about.
Shoot.
Look, fuck her, man.
Okay? That's what I'm talking about.
She's eavesdropping
on her friends now.
Where'd you get those shades?
What shades?
Mikal bought us shades, man.
Sweet of her.
But it is good to be on our own, you know?
Eugene, you know, I love you, man,
but you can be an asshole.
What do you care?
We're looking for lrene, right?
Yeah, we're looking for lrene.
All right. Then let's look for lrene.
Okay, just calm down.
If you just comply,
everything's gonna be just fine.
On what charges?
Breaking that sign is
a clear case of vandalism.
That's absolutely retarded.
- You're handcuffing me, too?
- Y es.
Are you serious?
Y es, I'm placing you under arrest.
Hands behind your back.
I was just trying to make this place
a little bit less depressing.
What's the big deal with that?
This is so dramatic.
You don't even need to be doing this.
- No. Wait, Officer.
- What the hell is your problem?
That's my sister. What's going on?
Your sister?
Yeah, yeah. What's going on?
I'm afraid your sister's been arrested.
Arrested?
Wait. Can I talk to you for a minute?
What have you got to say?
I- I mean, she's only
been here a few mo-
- You know, how long you been here?
- Some time.
First of all, she just got here.
Well, you remember what it's like
those first couple months, right?
I mean, the no-smiling thing's
really getting to her.
Nobody's got any good humor
or anything like that.
Well, I can turn
my head away this once.
Yeah?
Ma'am, you better watch your behavior.
You bet, Officer.
You didn't have to do that.
Thank you.
What are you- You gonna-
Can we still give you a ride?
No, thanks. I think I'm headed
the other way.
Listen, l-
I'm sorry about all that back there.
It's-
We didn't mean that.
It's just Eugene's venting.
That's okay.
Doesn't matter.
I just want to-
We don't-
We don't mean that.
You know what?
It's probably gonna be hard
for me to get a ride
with you standing there, so-
Yeah. Probably right.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Thank you.
I really do.
- Where were you, man?
- Guess who I just saw.
Who?
Mikal. She's right back there.
What the fuck was that?
Oh, man. You didn't
take out the nozzle?
You deal with this guy. I'm not into it.
What?
I'm sorry again.
Oh, it happens all the time.
At least twice a week.
- Really?
- It happens. See?
All these are already filled out.
Right here.
What's this here about, uh,
"What were you thinking
when the incident occurred?"
Exactly that.
Here I am again, buried in debt.
If pulling the trigger
didn't solve my problems,
what the hell will?
I was wondering if l
was too drunk to drive.
But the problem with you
is that you don't think it's fucked up
- to talk shit about me when I'm not there.
- I was kidding.
You were kidding?
You didn't know I was listening.
No, I didn't.
That's eavesdropping.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Whatever.
- Look, I found-
- Calm down, man.
- Look at this.
- Calm down. Relax.
It's her phone number. It's Desiree.
It's her phone number, her address,
everything. Look at that.
I spaced out because the man at pump 3
looked just like my ex-boyfriend.
Where is he?
He feels so close.
I knew she was close, man.
I told you, man. I felt it.
All right. What do you want to do?
You want to call her?
No, let's go over there.
That guy said it's
not very far from here.
Let's go, man. Let's go!
I told you, man.
You should buy her
some flowers at least.
Flowers would be nice, but l- l-
did you see the flowers in there?
Yeah.
That's not too bad, huh?
- Yeah. Desiree has some taste.
- No shit.
What other color could someone
named Desiree like but turquoise?
Oh, holy shit.
Yeah, it doesn't look good.
What happened?
She moved.
Where?
He doesn't know.
Any forward address?
Sorry, Zia.
At least we know we're
getting closer, right?
Yeah.
You deserve a drink, man.
He's sleeping.
Fucker's always sleeping in the car.
What's this button do?
That doesn't work.
No, don't. Don't push that.
That doesn't-
Christ, are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
In-fucking-credible!
What?
Look! Look! Look!
You're a genius.
Oh, it's the headlights-
Okay, Eugene. Take it easy.
It's just the headlights, man.
It's great, but it's-
Oh, that is beautiful.
Do it again, Eugene.
Yeah?
Beautiful.
Eugene, watch out!
What happened? Fuck.
Oh, my God.
You all right, Eugene?
Yeah, I'm fine, man.
Yeah?
Oh, my God.
What the-
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Maybe he's sleeping.
Be careful.
Hey.
Hey, man.
You on drugs or something?
Jesus.
I must've dozed off.
I think I slept on my ear wrong.
Do I look asymmetrical to you at all?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm Raife Kneller.
Um... don't call me Raife.
My mom used to call me Raife, and l-
Don't get me started on it.
Just call me Kneller.
I lost my dog,
and I'm just sick about it.
You haven't seen a dog.
His name's Freddy.
You'd look for him
while laying in the middle of the road.
Well, I had to take a break.
I mean, it's emotional work.
Emotio- In the middle
of the fucking road?
Don't you think that's
a bit irresponsible?
Hey, look, it's too late, really,
to continue looking for Freddy.
You know, l, uh-
Why don't we go to my place?
Nothing really is for rent here.
I mean, it was at one time.
I rented the place
several years ago, and l-
The other thing is
it's not really a camp.
It's just a joke a friend of mine
thought would be funny.
I really don't think it's funny.
Do you think it's funny?
I don't. Actually...
Guys. Eugene, Mik, look at that.
What?
That guy was just floating in the air.
Floating?
He was. He was-
I wouldn't pay any attention to it.
It happens all the time around here.
What happens? Miracles?
Yeah, people floating in the air,
Iike, uh, people turning
stones into plants
or changing the color
of different objects.
Fixing the headlights, maybe?
What do you mean,
fixing the headlights?
His headlights have
been broken for ages,
and she fixed them not far from here
just by touching a button.
Oh. Yeah, something
small and insignificant like that.
Is that another one of your miracles?
No, that's Nanuk. She's a mute.
She does this throat singing.
She's hilarious. I'll be right back.
Nanuk, we- we have new guests.
That guy was 3 feet off the ground.
Fresh sheets, coffee, and all that.
People, Nanuk.
Nanuk will look after you.
I got some business.
Hey, make sure you
take care of my car, man.
All right, Nanuk.
I guess you take care of us.
Once upon a time,
there was a crooked tree
and a straight tree,
and they grew next to each other.
And every day the...
straight tree would look
at the crooked tree.
He would say, "You're crooked.
"You've always been crooked,
"and you'll continue to be crooked.
But look at me. Look at me, "
said the straight tree.
He said, " I'm tall and I'm straight. "
And then one day,
the lumberjacks came into the forest
and looked around.
And the manager in charge said,
"Cut all the straight trees. "
And that crooked tree
is still there to this day,
growing strong and growing strange.
Just forget about the miracles, Zia.
They don't mean a thing.
Everybody in camp
can do that but me.
Hey, give yourself a break, man.
I'm dying to do one.
Just a small one, even if it's stupid.
Here's the deal.
As long as you want it so bad,
it's not gonna happen.
The only way it's gonna work
is if it doesn't matter.
Here you go, girl.
Drink up, my man.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't know. I guess.
I don't know.
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
It will. It will.
Hey, Kneller, do you mind
if I use your truck?
'Cause we're out of logs.
Sure. You look great in that.
I know. I like it.
Zia, you wanna go for a ride?
Yeah.
Are you gonna be all right, Kneller?
Go ahead.
It's nice here, right?
Yeah.
You ever miss the things
from before you offed?
No, I don't really remember much.
I think the only thing
I missed is Desiree.
Now that she's here,
it's like the only thing I can think about.
I miss everything.
I miss my friends, I miss my dog,
I miss my family, my house, everything.
I even miss the things I hated at this point.
I don't know.
It's weird. I had this dream the other night
that I woke up in the hospital
because my- my suicide didn't work.
And while I was there, I just...
I just kind of missed this.
He's teaching her
how to open a beer with a lighter.
He's teaching her how to open
a beer with a lighter.
She doesn't even drink. Let me see.
You see?
Yeah. Yeah.
You should've seen him the other day.
He was trying to teach her
the famous basketball players names
and their positions and everything.
She had no clue what he was saying.
The secret is that
she's from way too far away
to pick up on his character.
- And half her family offed just like his.
- I know.
She doesn't live with him, though.
Holy shit. He caught a fish.
- Oh, my God, he's doing it.
- What?
He's changing the color of the fish.
With his bare hand,
he's holding the fish,
and he changed the color.
Oh, Zia, when are you gonna
stop being obsessed
with those silly little miracles?
I don't know.
When you stop being obsessed
with all that people in charge shit.
That is not the same.
Yeah, right, you know,
because you're here
by mistake or whatever.
I'm sorry, I guess I just-
I don't see how
you could possibly be-
You know what, listen, you little jerk.
I never killed myself.
I just OD'd.
All right, go.
Zia, what are you waiting for?
Come on, man.
Zia, hurry.
Ow! Shit.
- Hey, Zia!
- Kneller?
Float on up.
Come on, we gotta go.
Float on up.
Float?
Come on, man.
I can't.
You gonna spend the rest
of your life down there?
No, but what if l-
They're gonna be here in a second.
No, no, no. Wait! Wait for me!
Mom? Dad? What are
you guys doing here?
Where have you been all this time?
Why haven't you called us?
You're awake?
I've been thinking.
If I'm gonna find the people in charge,
I have to keep looking.
I'm not gonna find them here.
You know?
Yeah, I think you're right.
I think if I'm gonna find Desiree,
I'm gonna have to start
looking elsewhere, too.
We can't wait for Eugene forever.
Yeah, I know.
Mom?
I found him! I found him!
I found Kneller's dog!
I found Freddy!
Yan, what happened to you?
Messiah King lives
at the other side of the forest,
and he's holding Kneller's dog captive.
What?
And so many people are there,
Iike, hundreds to witness the miracle
he's gonna perform tomorrow.
Freddy's performing miracles?
No. Messiah.
But not like our miracles.
A planned, significant miracle.
Here. You're bleeding.
Well, what about Freddy?
How's Freddy?
Yan, is Freddy okay?
Freddy's fine.
They feed him T-bone steak,
and he refuses to come back.
Freddy's been brainwashed.
We're driving over there right now.
I only know how to get there on foot.
How far is it?
I'm not sure. I got lost on the way,
but five, six hours, I'd say.
All right, first thing in the morning.
Hey, do you guys mind
if Zia and I tag along with you?
Why? You guys are dying to see miracle
that asshole's gonna perform?
Yeah, I wanna go.
T- bone?
Damn.
Uh, Yan, you sure
we're going the right way?
We've been six hours or so.
Yes. We should be there soon.
I think.
I don't know what happened.
I was sure we'd find it before dark.
Actually, I think it's a good sign.
I mean, you got lost last time, right?
Yeah. You're right.
That's a really good sign.
I hope we at least find
our way back to the camp.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
I mean, I have no clue where we are.
We've been hiking for,
like, 12 hours straight.
I mean, I don't really know
how fast we've been going-
What?
- Shh!
- What?
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Do you hear that?
Yeah, but...
it sounds like a-
Holy shit.
Let's go.
How come no one in camp
ever mentioned the beach is so close?
Maybe they don't know.
Maybe we're the only ones who know.
Hi.
You remember the other day
when you were talking
about missing things
from life and, uh...
how you wanted to go back
and I told you I didn't miss anything?
Yeah.
Well...
when I'm here...
with you, I kind of miss myself
the way I used to be.
What were you like?
I was- I was happy at a time.
Obviously before I came here, but-
Yeah.
... something about
being here with you
reminds me of that.
It's just, I don't know,
it's just weird to me
that you can feel that
in a place like this.
We're all- We're all dead.
You know what?
Most the people that I knew before I got here
were either half dead
or just completely dead already.
You know, completely dead.
And you're doing pretty good, Zia.
You think so?
Yeah, definitely.
Freaking out.
Fuck. Mik, get up.
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
There they are.
I've just been worried sick about you.
Careful. Careful. Don't step on it.
Put your shoes on.
I hope you didn't sleep here.
Well, yeah.
This is where intravenous drug users
and prostitutes congregated.
It was too revolting for them.
Can we get the hell out of here?
Yeah. Careful.
I hope Yan doesn't get lost.
Yan's already lost.
Shit.
Yan!
We're never gonna
make it anywhere now.
I found it! I found it!
Where?
Right over the hill. It's real close.
Come on, there's music
and cold drinks and dancing girls.
Excuse me.
Who's in charge here?
The King, of course.
Can you believe how privileged we are?
Hmm. Why is that?
Because of the miracle.
He will actually separate
his body from his soul.
Actually, we're just
looking for our dog.
Guys, I think you should come.
Why? What's going on?
Kneller's with the King,
and he's raising hell.
Come on.
Raising hell? Yan, wait.
That dog came to me.
Begged me to be part
of what we're doing here.
Everybody knows that's my dog.
Nobody owns a dog.
You kidnapped that dog.
Those are very
serious charges, friend.
We need to speak to the Messiah.
He's in a meeting.
He's with my friend.
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
That dog's never been on a leash.
That dog wanted to be
on that leash.
Zia?
Desiree.
My God.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it's you.
I can't believe it's you.
You look absolutely the same.
Well, almost, right? But you do.
I mean, you haven't changed your hair.
I always-
I know, you love this haircut.
- Yeah.
- I remember.
I remember. How are you, Zia?
I'm good.
Can we deal with
the dog business here?
All right, let's deal with the dog.
We are going to deal with the dog.
Don't do that.
You're confusing the dog.
What's your name, Honeysuckle?
Come on, Freddy. Come on.
Treat. Treat.
The dog has spoken.
I'm tired, and I need to concentrate.
I'll see you at the ceremony.
It's gonna be a hell of a show.
And then, after you offed,
I just cried and cried.
And I had to leave town
because everything reminded me of you.
Trust me. I never knew
how much I hurt you
until you were gone.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God I can finally
ask you to forgive me.
King. King?
He was a real friend.
He got me out of town,
and I started to get
more and more into his teachings,
and I just stopped crying.
So then King was supposed to separate
his body from his soul
so he could discover
the other, better world
and come back
and show everyone the way.
'Cause you know he believes
we're all trapped
in the world of the living.
But something went terribly wrong,
and his soul never made it back.
So at the hospital,
when they confirmed his death...
I heard his soul calling me,
and I just knew-
I knew I had to be with him, so-
...I took the elevator
to the hospital roof...
and flew.
Oh.
Oh, God, time flies with you, Zia.
Let's go. King's about to begin.
And this time, I know...
He's gonna make it.
Come on. I have to help King prepare.
You two made up, huh?
Well, I forgive, but I don't forget.
What keeps happening to Yan?
Have you seen Mikal?
Last time I saw her,
she was talking to the big guy up there
about, you know, going home
and people in charge and the usual.
Right. What'd he tell her?
He said, " I'm taking you all
to a better place. "
Asshole.
Don't be alarmed, friends.
The vessel will die soon,
and the spirit will rise.
The first time was only a test...
a precursor to the real thing.
Why don't you just tell her?
Tell her what?
Tell her that you love her.
Don't be afraid when I leave.
You do, don't you?
For I will be back to save you all.
It's too far. She won't hear.
What is he doing?
He's bluffing.
Nobody would do that twice.
You know how much that hurts.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
We're at the compound.
I need backup.
Come right now.
This guy's gone crazy.
Everyone, look! There he is!
He's coming. He's coming.
They're- They're coming.
Kneller.
Blessings. Blessings.
He's gonna show us the way.
Everyone, keep your hands
lifted up to King.
See us for bruises! Go home!
Everybody, go home!
Everybody, go home!
Move! Move! Move! Go! Move! Move!
Everybody disperse. This is the P.I. C.
Go immediately. Everyone.
King? Wait.
Who are you? No, no, no!
King! King!
Please disperse immediately.
Please disperse.
- Yan.
- What the fuck is going on?
I don't know. Have you seen Mikal?
She was right here a second ago.
Please disperse.
This is the People In Charge.
Where's Kneller?
I don't know. I'll be right back.
This is the P.I. C.:
the People In Charge.
I repeat: P.I. C.
People In Charge.
Keep moving. Keep moving.
Evacuate immediately.
Zia! Zia, I'll be back in five minutes.
Please leave immediately.
What are you guys doing here?
Came to pick you up, man.
Yan tell you what happened?
Kneller did.
Is Mikal with him?
No.
Did he mention anything about her?
Not to me. Jump in.
I can't. I gotta stay here
and wait for her.
How long you gonna wait, man?
She's an adult.
She'll find her way back.
What's Freddy doing here?
Get in, dickhead.
We have a train to make.
Train?
Get in.
So Kneller never did actually kill himself.
No, of course not.
He was working for
the People In Charge.
Undercover.
I always had a feeling
he was an angel or something.
An angel? Come on.
Well...
So now that he blew his cover,
he'll be transferred
out of the undercover unit.
Transferred? Where's he going?
Don't know. Wherever
the People In Charge operate.
Looks like that's it.
So camp is totally over?
Yup.
Turns out Kneller ran it completely illegally.
And on the P.I. C. property, no less.
So what are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I'm definitely gonna go back to camp
and wait for Mikal,
but after that, I guess I'll see.
You'll see?
What?
Listen.
I didn't want to tell you this.
According to Kneller, in the middle
of that whole Messiah hassle,
Mikal talked to one of
those P.I. C. guys and-
and asked him to check her file.
And I know it sounds crazy,
but it turns out there really was
some kind of mistake,
and it looks like they'll be sending her back-
back to life.
It's a good thing, you know?
'Cause she gets to go back.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It is.
I mean, it's what she wanted, so...
T ake care of her.
Bye, Nanuk.
Come here.
See you, man.
Hey, don't forget to give
that package to my folks.
They went to the North Pole
or whatever the place
Nanuk is from is called.
He wanted to meet her family
and get into that throat singing,
saw playing, weird instruments,
and all that stuff.
It's good that he's back into music, I think.
And me?
I think I finally understand
what Kneller was trying to say.
It only happens if it doesn't matter.
It comes without effort.
Maybe Eugene's right.
Maybe I only get stuck on girls
I don't have a chance of being with.
I am glad for Mikal, though.
I hope she got her visa
all straightened out.
I mean, she did say
she'd be right back.
Then again, Eugene's old wisdom
is when a girl says that,
she never does actually come back.
So I don't know. Go figure it out.
Zia, you are one lucky son of a bitch.
Pays to know people
in high places, huh?
I don't mean to brag about it or anything,
but I'm pretty sure she did.
Sometimes I can picture her talking about me
to some guy she feels really close to.
You're never going
to see him again, you know?
How they lowered me
into the grave
all pathetic and shriveled up,
Iike a melted chocolate bar
or something.
About how we never
actually got a chance.
Then the guy fucks her real nice-
a fuck that's all about
making her feel better.
Soon after I killed myself,
I found a job here at Kamikaze Pizza.
It's not a great job, but it'll do for a while.
The manager was cool enough
to hook me up with a place to live, too,
with this Austrian guy named Erik.
You did it again, Zia.
Did what?
Don't play dumb. You promised.
If you're going to live in this apartment,
you have to sit while you piss.
That. I'm sorry. I forgot.
How in the world you forget
something like that?
Sit, sit, sit.
Who could think
of a better punishment, really?
Everything's the same here.
It's just a little worse.
I've thought about suicide again,
but I haven't tried it.
I didn't want to end up
in a bigger shit hole than this one.
Yeah, I was missing Desiree.
I even had a feeling
that this whole suicide thing
just made me miss her
and love her more.
But...who knows?
Maybe you just need a drink.
Hi.
Listen, my friend Rachel and l,
we play this game
where we try to figure out
how people off themselves.
We were just guessing about you.
How'd you do it?
Three points for me!
That's an extremely rude question to ask.
Precisely.
That's what the game's all about.
I see. What about you?
Me?
No, no, no, no, no.
Look at him.
He can't stop burping.
It's definitely drowning.
No, I'm telling you,
look at the bluish face.
It's got to be gas.
Go over and ask him.
No. I don't know about this one.
- He seems ill-humored.
- No, no, you got to-
Why don't you try it with me?
Do you know this guy?
I'll bet you girls a beer you won't guess.
Tania, look who's here.
We'll be right back.
Right back.
I will tell you something.
Whenever a chick says
" I'll be right back, "
write them off, man.
They always end up leaving
with some retarded big-Joe guy.
So what was it?
What was what?
How did you, uh,
you know, off yourself?
Oh, that.
Let me go, lovely
Let me go
You guys suck!
Suck big time!
Get off the stage!
Fuck it all!
Jesus! Go home, man!
Boo!
You offed with the guitar?
Sure, I did.
On stage, man.
It was wild.
Iggy Pop almost came to see that gig.
No way.
It's true.
I live with my parents
and my kid brother Kostya.
You're fucking with me.
I'm not fucking with you.
I've never heard of
a whole family here before.
Mom...
offed because she was
missing Russia a lot.
And my father, he just didn't feel
like going on without her.
But what really did it for him
was my little brother turning out to be gay.
And your kid brother?
- Kostya?
- Kostya.
I guess he had it in his genes, man.
That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard, man.
When, uh, Kostya came here,
my father-
a man who wouldn't cry-
if you dropped 10-pound
sledgehammer on his foot.
Hugged kid, though,
and cried like baby. No shit.
Wow.
We have to kill those germs.
- For borscht...
- We have a saying in Russia.
How much you eat,
that's how old you are.
My grandpa, before
he'd hire anybody,
he'd feed them a free meal.
- Those who ate the most-
- Whoa.
...that's the ones
he hired, 'cause-
Those were the best workers.
Are you trying
to hire me or something?
How about
doing the dishes after dinner?
Kostya, no.
You know, Zia, dishwashing was Eugene's
first job in America.
No way.
I did a lot of shit.
Last job I had before I offed
was waiting tables.
I thought it was the band thing.
I had to eat, too.
You know, I wish
we were there for Eugene.
You see, Zia, all of us,
we were always together.
First in Russia,
then in America, now here.
When lvan and I came here and left our boys
alone, they just couldn't make-
Mom, that's all over now.
Yeah.
Where are you from, Zia?
Uh, New Jersey.
Oh. What about your parents?
Uh, it's- it's a long story.
It's not- Basically, at the end,
- I hadn't talk to them in a while.
- Zia, it's okay.
They hadn't talked to each other.
It is, yeah.
Nyet.
Not every family is lucky like we are.
That's true.
But all of us being together...
You know,
I'd be here a long time ago
if it weren't for Eugene.
Yeah? How come?
I was 10.
We had these soccer finals.
I was the goalie for my school.
Eugene!
Don't you hear I'm jamming?
How is it possible
for the better team to lose?
We didn't deserve to!
The ball just wouldn't get in!
And they won it in the finals!
So what's the point of living
when life is so unfair
and everything?
I'm just telling you this because you're
the smartest person I know.
If you don't give me one
good reason to keep living
and tell me what's the meaning of life,
I'm gonna do this.
Step down from the table.
No. First tell me.
Step down from the table,
and I'll tell you.
He just smacked you?
Yeah.
I don't exactly know what he was trying
to tell me when he did it,
but it worked fine
up until a couple months ago.
You know, when I see
you guys like this,
it kind of makes me
miss my parents,
even though most of the time
they just kind of freaked me out.
You know...
why didn't we move in together earlier?
'Cause we didn't know
it'd be this fun.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I love those things.
These what? These?
Who? Ophelia?
Desiree.
Whatever. An ex-girlfriend from an ex-life.
Listen, tonight when we go out,
man, you got to promise-
No, no, no. Eugene, I'm not going out
tonight or any other night.
- What?
- It just makes me depressed.
So what are you going to do?
Kill yourself?
I don't know. Maybe.
As if anything would make you happy.
I love you.
- I love you.
- You do?
Did you finish my cottage cheese?
Zia, did you finish my cottage cheese?
Calm down, Erik. I'll buy you
some more cottage cheese.
No. That's not the point.
I was planning on having some right now.
Don't you have a plan B
or something?
Zia, you do it all the time!
All right! All right!
I'll go get some more
cottage cheese.
Zia?
I was hoping we'd run into
each other sooner or later.
Brian, what are you doing here?
Same as everyone else.
Same as everyone else.
Only it's got a little something to do with you.
Oh, yeah?
Did you come all the way here
to get the 200 bucks I owe you?
Ha ha. You were always a million laughs.
But, no, that's not it.
You know how people say that
suicides happen in threes?
Well, there's something to that.
Hey, is this cheese any good?
Uh, my roommate likes it.
You know, when people start
offing themselves around you,
you start asking yourself,
what makes me so different?
You know?
What's keeping me alive?
Then it hit me like a mallet.
I don't have the answers.
T oo much sodium.
But I think it was Desiree's suicide
that really hit me.
- D-Desiree's what?
- Yeah, Desiree's.
She offed herself about a month after you.
I figured you'd know that.
- No.
- Hey!
What about the 200 you owe me?
I still want that.
So I'm saying I got a pretty good idea
she's not in the city.
Call it, you know, intuition or whatever.
Listen, man, worst-case scenario,
we just take a ride, right?
Who, we?
All right.
Let me put it this way.
Since you got here,
how many times did you get laid, man?
- Why?
- Just a question.
Actually laid?
Yes.
- None, I think.
- You think?
None. But what's that got
to do with any of this?
Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high,
you think you're having
an out-of-body experience
Iike nobody in the whole
fucking universe, man.
Eugene.
Sperm count too high?
That's a crock.
Listen, man, just let me borrow the car.
You don't have to do anything else.
Don't- Don't get so touchy
on me all of a sudden.
All I said is not good enough reason
for me to go.
Listen, you know what?
Forget Desiree.
I got another reason for you to go.
Give it a shot.
You got anything better to do?
I mean, what's the big deal?
It's just the headlights, right?
You wouldn't
believe how many times
I've tried to have it fixed.
You're telling me this now?
I mean, this means we can't
drive at night. At all.
We'll stop somewhere
before it gets dark.
We'll just get them fixed.
It's on me. I'll pay for it.
If you insist.
But I'll bet you a beer it can't be fixed.
Let's get some music, man.
What is this? These work, right?
- Oh, shit.
- What?
Anything that goes underneath that seat,
forget about it.
Is there a hole or something?
Yeah.
No. It's, uh...
Kind of.
It's more like- I guess you'd say black hole
or a- a- a Bermuda Triangle.
You know, things just
disappear on you.
That's not very good.
What is it?
- It's my old band.
- Really?
I had it in my pocket when I offed.
T ake that for a sec.
Oh, man, that's worse
than I remember.
What are you talking about? I like it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
It's not bad at all.
Mike's Car Shop.
Perfect timing, huh?
I'll bet you a beer they can't fix it.
You're on, man.
Uh, okay.
Um, uh, it's broken.
And so I don't- I don't-
I'm not sure what it is that's wrong.
But Mike is my- is my boss,
and he's an absolute genius.
We're gonna get it fixed.
You guys just wait right here.
Okay? Okay?
Hey, see that car?
It's been cruising back and forth
since we got here.
I saw it five times already.
It's a taxicab, Eugene.
Think, man.
Who the fuck would need taxi here?
I don't- I don't know.
What are you trying to say?
Look at the driver.
- Why?
- He's Arab.
You've never seen
an Arab taxi driver before?
Oh, sure, I did.
But not since I offed.
Connect the dots.
Arabs, suicides.
Doesn't that freak you out
even a little bit?
No, man. You sound
like a fucking, uh,
Homeland Security agent.
I mean, you forget where we are.
He's dead already.
We're dead.
Everybody here is dead.
He's not gonna try anything.
Nobody gives a shit here.
We're all immigrants now, man.
Then why is he looking
at me like that?
'Cause you're staring at him
like you need a fucking taxicab.
Quit looking at him. He'll go away.
Oh, shoot.
It looks like we're staying here tonight.
Hey, boy, how you doin'? You're pretty.
Hey, Jimmy, why don't you
go start this thing up?
Let's hear this beauty moan.
Well... Moan?
No, no. We just want to-
The headlights.
Oh, you need a-
You need an exhaust system,
valves got to be adjusted.
Oh, what a bitch
of a fuel pump you got in there.
No, no, no, no. No, no.
We just want to fix the headlights.
Honey, are you home?
Honey?
He hasn't slept a wink
since we got here.
We'll fix your headlights by tomorrow.
- Get them fixed by tomorrow.
- T omorrow?
Yeah. T omorrow.
Fucking shift stick.
This is the last time I sleep in the car.
Yeah.
Where are my shades?
I dr- I dropped them.
Man, I told you to be
careful about that, man.
- I know, I know.
- God damn it.
I was, Eugene. It's- It's so bright.
I didn't mean to drop them
under there.
I gotta- I gotta piss, man.
Aah! God damn!
What the hell?
Morning, boys.
Nothing like a good
night's sleep, huh?
These headlights
are giving me a headache.
But you give me a day or two,
I'll have it fixed up
once and for all and forever.
That's how Mike does it.
Once and all and for- forever.
Wait. Look at this,
look at this, look at this.
Looks like you owe me
first beer of the day.
I told you, man. No one can fix
the headlights in this car.
You asleep?
Yeah, man, I'm asleep.
You're missing a lot of beautiful shit.
Can't believe you lost my shades.
Holy shit.
Oh, geez!
What the- Wait. What- Oh-
Eugene, what?
What?
Afternoon, lady.
Where you guys going?
East-ish.
East-ish?
You guys don't have any clue
where you're going, do you?
Well, you haven't been here very long, right?
Why's that?
'Cause if anybody here had a clue,
we wouldn't be here in the first place.
True.
I am pretty new.
Actually, I've been hitchhiking
ever since I got here.
How come?
Because I'm looking
for the people in charge.
- People in charge?
- Yeah.
Just where do you think you are?
Some kind of country club
where you can just walk
into the main office?
Tell me, please,
when you were still living,
did you ever try to go looking for God?
No. But I really didn't have
any reason to back then.
And what reason do you have now?
I mean, you know,
are you just sorry you offed?
You, uh, changed your mind?
Because, you know, if that's the case,
and you're just waiting
for visa back home-
- Eugene, Eugene, Eugene.
- What? What?
What's your name?
Mikal.
- What's your name?
- Zia.
- Eugene.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Thanks.
So you're trying to leave?
You don't like it here?
Are you joking?
Do you guys like it here?
Who the hell likes being stuck in a place
where you can't even smile?
It's hot as balls. Everybody's an asshole.
I just want to go home.
- I don't know.
- I like it.
Yeah, better than sleeping
in the car, man.
All right.
I'll go get the cashier.
I like that it has a window right here.
It's nice.
You want to try it out?
What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
I think I'm gonna go
see how Zia's doing.
I wonder if people who die normally
end up with no stars.
I really miss the stars.
You get used to it.
I don't want to get used to it.
I want to go home.
This guy who gave me
a ride the other day,
he said that he actually heard rumors
about the people in charge.
Um, apparently they wear
white outfits or something.
That's a crock of shit- white outfits.
He was just trying to get into your pants.
No, he wasn't.
He said he thought I had a really good case.
Oh, and what makes
your case so special,
if you don't mind me asking?
That I got here by mistake.
Well, we all got here by some mistake
one way or another.
And believe me,
you have as much chance
at finding your folks in white
as Zia has to find his dead princess.
You don't know that.
No, you don't. I bet he'll find her.
Yeah. Besides, I got a hunch
she's not that far away.
Wherever she is,
I bet she found someone by now.
Probably some black guy
who hanged himself by his dick.
It wouldn't matter, Eugene.
You know, I was thinking.
Yeah?
If you were to ever cheat on me...
make sure you do it
with somebody who's really pretty.
What are you-
What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna cheat on you.
Why do you say that?
I know, baby.
Hey, Eugene, do you mind if I drive?
I'll get us there in half the time.
Get us where?
Over there.
Oh, there.
All right, then.
I'm not sitting in the back.
Why not?
'Cause everybody knows
guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.
- What?
- That's a fact.
If the guy in the back seat
had a cock,
he wouldn't be back there
in the first place.
Well, l- I mean, I got a cock, man.
So how can- I'm not-
Mik, do you have a cock?
Yeah, I have a cock.
A big fat one.
I'm looking for the people in charge
because I'm here by mistake.
I'm not supposed to be here.
I've been looking for a while.
I'm looking for a girl named Desiree.
Short blonde hair,
about this tall.
I'm not sure what you're
trying to accomplish is completely legal.
- Well, that's very-
- Can I see some l. D.?
We're looking for the people in charge
of this place
because I've only been
here a couple weeks
and I got here by mistake.
Did I show you-
Thanks, "Ociffer, " but we...
The people in charge.
- Nyet, Mom.
- P.I. C.
About this tall.
Her name's Desiree. She's really pretty.
When there's a trap
Set up for you
In every corner of your room
And so
The only way to go
Is
Through the roof
Through the roof
Underground
Through the roof
Underground
And as we crossing border after border
We realize the differences now
It's underdogs who
And if you want it, too
You'll always have to make your own fun
Hey, man, you need
to wipe these off for me.
# The local cultures
are dying and dying #
# The product growers
are buying and buying #
Man, are you doing that
intentionally to hurt me?
No. No. It's- It's not my fault.
I just wanted you to clean those off.
- I know. I was cleaning.
- That's a hole. I told you.
You want to see if my hat
drops down the hole?
No, I'm not gonna
drop your hat in the hole!
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
Here's my tobacco.
See if that goes down.
Guys, guys, please stop bickering.
Please?
Eugene, there's a diner right there.
Will you stop?
Good. Perf- Perfect timing.
And you, don't touch my stuff no more.
- You handed me the shades, man.
- Don't touch my stuff no more.
Yes, Mama.
Didn't he already talk
to his mom this morning?
Yeah, but, supposedly,
that's, uh, normal in Russia.
I don't think that's normal anywhere.
Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna go get some smokes.
Do you want anything?
Next time you grab my ass,
I'm going to tell your mom, asshole, okay?
Okay?
All I'm saying is neither of us
have scored with her, you know?
I don't know about that.
The other night, uh, she said
she thought you were cute.
Cute?
That's what they say about a puppy.
The only thing worse
is "good friend" or "nice person. "
In plain English it means
" I'll leech off you as long as I can,
but don't even think
about getting into my pants. "
Yeah, well, you might be right about that.
Of course I'm right.
I say we get rid of her while we still can.
I mean, look.
Look at what we're losing out on
because of her.
Yeah, I don't know.
The whole "people in charge" thing
is a little weird.
See? That's what I'm talking about.
Shoot.
Look, fuck her, man.
Okay? That's what I'm talking about.
She's eavesdropping
on her friends now.
Where'd you get those shades?
What shades?
Mikal bought us shades, man.
Sweet of her.
But it is good to be on our own, you know?
Eugene, you know, I love you, man,
but you can be an asshole.
What do you care?
We're looking for lrene, right?
Yeah, we're looking for lrene.
All right. Then let's look for lrene.
Okay, just calm down.
If you just comply,
everything's gonna be just fine.
On what charges?
Breaking that sign is
a clear case of vandalism.
That's absolutely retarded.
- You're handcuffing me, too?
- Y es.
Are you serious?
Y es, I'm placing you under arrest.
Hands behind your back.
I was just trying to make this place
a little bit less depressing.
What's the big deal with that?
This is so dramatic.
You don't even need to be doing this.
- No. Wait, Officer.
- What the hell is your problem?
That's my sister. What's going on?
Your sister?
Yeah, yeah. What's going on?
I'm afraid your sister's been arrested.
Arrested?
Wait. Can I talk to you for a minute?
What have you got to say?
I- I mean, she's only
been here a few mo-
- You know, how long you been here?
- Some time.
First of all, she just got here.
Well, you remember what it's like
those first couple months, right?
I mean, the no-smiling thing's
really getting to her.
Nobody's got any good humor
or anything like that.
Well, I can turn
my head away this once.
Yeah?
Ma'am, you better watch your behavior.
You bet, Officer.
You didn't have to do that.
Thank you.
What are you- You gonna-
Can we still give you a ride?
No, thanks. I think I'm headed
the other way.
Listen, l-
I'm sorry about all that back there.
It's-
We didn't mean that.
It's just Eugene's venting.
That's okay.
Doesn't matter.
I just want to-
We don't-
We don't mean that.
You know what?
It's probably gonna be hard
for me to get a ride
with you standing there, so-
Yeah. Probably right.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Thank you.
I really do.
- Where were you, man?
- Guess who I just saw.
Who?
Mikal. She's right back there.
What the fuck was that?
Oh, man. You didn't
take out the nozzle?
You deal with this guy. I'm not into it.
What?
I'm sorry again.
Oh, it happens all the time.
At least twice a week.
- Really?
- It happens. See?
All these are already filled out.
Right here.
What's this here about, uh,
"What were you thinking
when the incident occurred?"
Exactly that.
Here I am again, buried in debt.
If pulling the trigger
didn't solve my problems,
what the hell will?
I was wondering if l
was too drunk to drive.
But the problem with you
is that you don't think it's fucked up
- to talk shit about me when I'm not there.
- I was kidding.
You were kidding?
You didn't know I was listening.
No, I didn't.
That's eavesdropping.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Whatever.
- Look, I found-
- Calm down, man.
- Look at this.
- Calm down. Relax.
It's her phone number. It's Desiree.
It's her phone number, her address,
everything. Look at that.
I spaced out because the man at pump 3
looked just like my ex-boyfriend.
Where is he?
He feels so close.
I knew she was close, man.
I told you, man. I felt it.
All right. What do you want to do?
You want to call her?
No, let's go over there.
That guy said it's
not very far from here.
Let's go, man. Let's go!
I told you, man.
You should buy her
some flowers at least.
Flowers would be nice, but l- l-
did you see the flowers in there?
Yeah.
That's not too bad, huh?
- Yeah. Desiree has some taste.
- No shit.
What other color could someone
named Desiree like but turquoise?
Oh, holy shit.
Yeah, it doesn't look good.
What happened?
She moved.
Where?
He doesn't know.
Any forward address?
Sorry, Zia.
At least we know we're
getting closer, right?
Yeah.
You deserve a drink, man.
He's sleeping.
Fucker's always sleeping in the car.
What's this button do?
That doesn't work.
No, don't. Don't push that.
That doesn't-
Christ, are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
In-fucking-credible!
What?
Look! Look! Look!
You're a genius.
Oh, it's the headlights-
Okay, Eugene. Take it easy.
It's just the headlights, man.
It's great, but it's-
Oh, that is beautiful.
Do it again, Eugene.
Yeah?
Beautiful.
Eugene, watch out!
What happened? Fuck.
Oh, my God.
You all right, Eugene?
Yeah, I'm fine, man.
Yeah?
Oh, my God.
What the-
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Maybe he's sleeping.
Be careful.
Hey.
Hey, man.
You on drugs or something?
Jesus.
I must've dozed off.
I think I slept on my ear wrong.
Do I look asymmetrical to you at all?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm Raife Kneller.
Um... don't call me Raife.
My mom used to call me Raife, and l-
Don't get me started on it.
Just call me Kneller.
I lost my dog,
and I'm just sick about it.
You haven't seen a dog.
His name's Freddy.
You'd look for him
while laying in the middle of the road.
Well, I had to take a break.
I mean, it's emotional work.
Emotio- In the middle
of the fucking road?
Don't you think that's
a bit irresponsible?
Hey, look, it's too late, really,
to continue looking for Freddy.
You know, l, uh-
Why don't we go to my place?
Nothing really is for rent here.
I mean, it was at one time.
I rented the place
several years ago, and l-
The other thing is
it's not really a camp.
It's just a joke a friend of mine
thought would be funny.
I really don't think it's funny.
Do you think it's funny?
I don't. Actually...
Guys. Eugene, Mik, look at that.
What?
That guy was just floating in the air.
Floating?
He was. He was-
I wouldn't pay any attention to it.
It happens all the time around here.
What happens? Miracles?
Yeah, people floating in the air,
Iike, uh, people turning
stones into plants
or changing the color
of different objects.
Fixing the headlights, maybe?
What do you mean,
fixing the headlights?
His headlights have
been broken for ages,
and she fixed them not far from here
just by touching a button.
Oh. Yeah, something
small and insignificant like that.
Is that another one of your miracles?
No, that's Nanuk. She's a mute.
She does this throat singing.
She's hilarious. I'll be right back.
Nanuk, we- we have new guests.
That guy was 3 feet off the ground.
Fresh sheets, coffee, and all that.
People, Nanuk.
Nanuk will look after you.
I got some business.
Hey, make sure you
take care of my car, man.
All right, Nanuk.
I guess you take care of us.
Once upon a time,
there was a crooked tree
and a straight tree,
and they grew next to each other.
And every day the...
straight tree would look
at the crooked tree.
He would say, "You're crooked.
"You've always been crooked,
"and you'll continue to be crooked.
But look at me. Look at me, "
said the straight tree.
He said, " I'm tall and I'm straight. "
And then one day,
the lumberjacks came into the forest
and looked around.
And the manager in charge said,
"Cut all the straight trees. "
And that crooked tree
is still there to this day,
growing strong and growing strange.
Just forget about the miracles, Zia.
They don't mean a thing.
Everybody in camp
can do that but me.
Hey, give yourself a break, man.
I'm dying to do one.
Just a small one, even if it's stupid.
Here's the deal.
As long as you want it so bad,
it's not gonna happen.
The only way it's gonna work
is if it doesn't matter.
Here you go, girl.
Drink up, my man.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't know. I guess.
I don't know.
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
It will. It will.
Hey, Kneller, do you mind
if I use your truck?
'Cause we're out of logs.
Sure. You look great in that.
I know. I like it.
Zia, you wanna go for a ride?
Yeah.
Are you gonna be all right, Kneller?
Go ahead.
It's nice here, right?
Yeah.
You ever miss the things
from before you offed?
No, I don't really remember much.
I think the only thing
I missed is Desiree.
Now that she's here,
it's like the only thing I can think about.
I miss everything.
I miss my friends, I miss my dog,
I miss my family, my house, everything.
I even miss the things I hated at this point.
I don't know.
It's weird. I had this dream the other night
that I woke up in the hospital
because my- my suicide didn't work.
And while I was there, I just...
I just kind of missed this.
He's teaching her
how to open a beer with a lighter.
He's teaching her how to open
a beer with a lighter.
She doesn't even drink. Let me see.
You see?
Yeah. Yeah.
You should've seen him the other day.
He was trying to teach her
the famous basketball players names
and their positions and everything.
She had no clue what he was saying.
The secret is that
she's from way too far away
to pick up on his character.
- And half her family offed just like his.
- I know.
She doesn't live with him, though.
Holy shit. He caught a fish.
- Oh, my God, he's doing it.
- What?
He's changing the color of the fish.
With his bare hand,
he's holding the fish,
and he changed the color.
Oh, Zia, when are you gonna
stop being obsessed
with those silly little miracles?
I don't know.
When you stop being obsessed
with all that people in charge shit.
That is not the same.
Yeah, right, you know,
because you're here
by mistake or whatever.
I'm sorry, I guess I just-
I don't see how
you could possibly be-
You know what, listen, you little jerk.
I never killed myself.
I just OD'd.
All right, go.
Zia, what are you waiting for?
Come on, man.
Zia, hurry.
Ow! Shit.
- Hey, Zia!
- Kneller?
Float on up.
Come on, we gotta go.
Float on up.
Float?
Come on, man.
I can't.
You gonna spend the rest
of your life down there?
No, but what if l-
They're gonna be here in a second.
No, no, no. Wait! Wait for me!
Mom? Dad? What are
you guys doing here?
Where have you been all this time?
Why haven't you called us?
You're awake?
I've been thinking.
If I'm gonna find the people in charge,
I have to keep looking.
I'm not gonna find them here.
You know?
Yeah, I think you're right.
I think if I'm gonna find Desiree,
I'm gonna have to start
looking elsewhere, too.
We can't wait for Eugene forever.
Yeah, I know.
Mom?
I found him! I found him!
I found Kneller's dog!
I found Freddy!
Yan, what happened to you?
Messiah King lives
at the other side of the forest,
and he's holding Kneller's dog captive.
What?
And so many people are there,
Iike, hundreds to witness the miracle
he's gonna perform tomorrow.
Freddy's performing miracles?
No. Messiah.
But not like our miracles.
A planned, significant miracle.
Here. You're bleeding.
Well, what about Freddy?
How's Freddy?
Yan, is Freddy okay?
Freddy's fine.
They feed him T-bone steak,
and he refuses to come back.
Freddy's been brainwashed.
We're driving over there right now.
I only know how to get there on foot.
How far is it?
I'm not sure. I got lost on the way,
but five, six hours, I'd say.
All right, first thing in the morning.
Hey, do you guys mind
if Zia and I tag along with you?
Why? You guys are dying to see miracle
that asshole's gonna perform?
Yeah, I wanna go.
T- bone?
Damn.
Uh, Yan, you sure
we're going the right way?
We've been six hours or so.
Yes. We should be there soon.
I think.
I don't know what happened.
I was sure we'd find it before dark.
Actually, I think it's a good sign.
I mean, you got lost last time, right?
Yeah. You're right.
That's a really good sign.
I hope we at least find
our way back to the camp.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
I mean, I have no clue where we are.
We've been hiking for,
like, 12 hours straight.
I mean, I don't really know
how fast we've been going-
What?
- Shh!
- What?
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Do you hear that?
Yeah, but...
it sounds like a-
Holy shit.
Let's go.
How come no one in camp
ever mentioned the beach is so close?
Maybe they don't know.
Maybe we're the only ones who know.
Hi.
You remember the other day
when you were talking
about missing things
from life and, uh...
how you wanted to go back
and I told you I didn't miss anything?
Yeah.
Well...
when I'm here...
with you, I kind of miss myself
the way I used to be.
What were you like?
I was- I was happy at a time.
Obviously before I came here, but-
Yeah.
... something about
being here with you
reminds me of that.
It's just, I don't know,
it's just weird to me
that you can feel that
in a place like this.
We're all- We're all dead.
You know what?
Most the people that I knew before I got here
were either half dead
or just completely dead already.
You know, completely dead.
And you're doing pretty good, Zia.
You think so?
Yeah, definitely.
Freaking out.
Fuck. Mik, get up.
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
There they are.
I've just been worried sick about you.
Careful. Careful. Don't step on it.
Put your shoes on.
I hope you didn't sleep here.
Well, yeah.
This is where intravenous drug users
and prostitutes congregated.
It was too revolting for them.
Can we get the hell out of here?
Yeah. Careful.
I hope Yan doesn't get lost.
Yan's already lost.
Shit.
Yan!
We're never gonna
make it anywhere now.
I found it! I found it!
Where?
Right over the hill. It's real close.
Come on, there's music
and cold drinks and dancing girls.
Excuse me.
Who's in charge here?
The King, of course.
Can you believe how privileged we are?
Hmm. Why is that?
Because of the miracle.
He will actually separate
his body from his soul.
Actually, we're just
looking for our dog.
Guys, I think you should come.
Why? What's going on?
Kneller's with the King,
and he's raising hell.
Come on.
Raising hell? Yan, wait.
That dog came to me.
Begged me to be part
of what we're doing here.
Everybody knows that's my dog.
Nobody owns a dog.
You kidnapped that dog.
Those are very
serious charges, friend.
We need to speak to the Messiah.
He's in a meeting.
He's with my friend.
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
That dog's never been on a leash.
That dog wanted to be
on that leash.
Zia?
Desiree.
My God.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it's you.
I can't believe it's you.
You look absolutely the same.
Well, almost, right? But you do.
I mean, you haven't changed your hair.
I always-
I know, you love this haircut.
- Yeah.
- I remember.
I remember. How are you, Zia?
I'm good.
Can we deal with
the dog business here?
All right, let's deal with the dog.
We are going to deal with the dog.
Don't do that.
You're confusing the dog.
What's your name, Honeysuckle?
Come on, Freddy. Come on.
Treat. Treat.
The dog has spoken.
I'm tired, and I need to concentrate.
I'll see you at the ceremony.
It's gonna be a hell of a show.
And then, after you offed,
I just cried and cried.
And I had to leave town
because everything reminded me of you.
Trust me. I never knew
how much I hurt you
until you were gone.
Oh, thank God.
Thank God I can finally
ask you to forgive me.
King. King?
He was a real friend.
He got me out of town,
and I started to get
more and more into his teachings,
and I just stopped crying.
So then King was supposed to separate
his body from his soul
so he could discover
the other, better world
and come back
and show everyone the way.
'Cause you know he believes
we're all trapped
in the world of the living.
But something went terribly wrong,
and his soul never made it back.
So at the hospital,
when they confirmed his death...
I heard his soul calling me,
and I just knew-
I knew I had to be with him, so-
...I took the elevator
to the hospital roof...
and flew.
Oh.
Oh, God, time flies with you, Zia.
Let's go. King's about to begin.
And this time, I know...
He's gonna make it.
Come on. I have to help King prepare.
You two made up, huh?
Well, I forgive, but I don't forget.
What keeps happening to Yan?
Have you seen Mikal?
Last time I saw her,
she was talking to the big guy up there
about, you know, going home
and people in charge and the usual.
Right. What'd he tell her?
He said, " I'm taking you all
to a better place. "
Asshole.
Don't be alarmed, friends.
The vessel will die soon,
and the spirit will rise.
The first time was only a test...
a precursor to the real thing.
Why don't you just tell her?
Tell her what?
Tell her that you love her.
Don't be afraid when I leave.
You do, don't you?
For I will be back to save you all.
It's too far. She won't hear.
What is he doing?
He's bluffing.
Nobody would do that twice.
You know how much that hurts.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
We're at the compound.
I need backup.
Come right now.
This guy's gone crazy.
Everyone, look! There he is!
He's coming. He's coming.
They're- They're coming.
Kneller.
Blessings. Blessings.
He's gonna show us the way.
Everyone, keep your hands
lifted up to King.
See us for bruises! Go home!
Everybody, go home!
Everybody, go home!
Move! Move! Move! Go! Move! Move!
Everybody disperse. This is the P.I. C.
Go immediately. Everyone.
King? Wait.
Who are you? No, no, no!
King! King!
Please disperse immediately.
Please disperse.
- Yan.
- What the fuck is going on?
I don't know. Have you seen Mikal?
She was right here a second ago.
Please disperse.
This is the People In Charge.
Where's Kneller?
I don't know. I'll be right back.
This is the P.I. C.:
the People In Charge.
I repeat: P.I. C.
People In Charge.
Keep moving. Keep moving.
Evacuate immediately.
Zia! Zia, I'll be back in five minutes.
Please leave immediately.
What are you guys doing here?
Came to pick you up, man.
Yan tell you what happened?
Kneller did.
Is Mikal with him?
No.
Did he mention anything about her?
Not to me. Jump in.
I can't. I gotta stay here
and wait for her.
How long you gonna wait, man?
She's an adult.
She'll find her way back.
What's Freddy doing here?
Get in, dickhead.
We have a train to make.
Train?
Get in.
So Kneller never did actually kill himself.
No, of course not.
He was working for
the People In Charge.
Undercover.
I always had a feeling
he was an angel or something.
An angel? Come on.
Well...
So now that he blew his cover,
he'll be transferred
out of the undercover unit.
Transferred? Where's he going?
Don't know. Wherever
the People In Charge operate.
Looks like that's it.
So camp is totally over?
Yup.
Turns out Kneller ran it completely illegally.
And on the P.I. C. property, no less.
So what are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I'm definitely gonna go back to camp
and wait for Mikal,
but after that, I guess I'll see.
You'll see?
What?
Listen.
I didn't want to tell you this.
According to Kneller, in the middle
of that whole Messiah hassle,
Mikal talked to one of
those P.I. C. guys and-
and asked him to check her file.
And I know it sounds crazy,
but it turns out there really was
some kind of mistake,
and it looks like they'll be sending her back-
back to life.
It's a good thing, you know?
'Cause she gets to go back.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It is.
I mean, it's what she wanted, so...
T ake care of her.
Bye, Nanuk.
Come here.
See you, man.
Hey, don't forget to give
that package to my folks.
They went to the North Pole
or whatever the place
Nanuk is from is called.
He wanted to meet her family
and get into that throat singing,
saw playing, weird instruments,
and all that stuff.
It's good that he's back into music, I think.
And me?
I think I finally understand
what Kneller was trying to say.
It only happens if it doesn't matter.
It comes without effort.
Maybe Eugene's right.
Maybe I only get stuck on girls
I don't have a chance of being with.
I am glad for Mikal, though.
I hope she got her visa
all straightened out.
I mean, she did say
she'd be right back.
Then again, Eugene's old wisdom
is when a girl says that,
she never does actually come back.
So I don't know. Go figure it out.
Zia, you are one lucky son of a bitch.
Pays to know people
in high places, huh?