X (2022) Movie Script
(CICADAS CHIRPING)
(FLY BUZZING)
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
We come together today...
(EVANGELIST CONTINUES
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV)
In dark times such as these,
we must all remember
to look
to the Lord for guidance.
Submit yourselves,
then, to God.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
Resist the Devil...
- (CONGREGATION MURMURS)
- ...and he will flee from you.
I regret to say
I know the powers
of Satan firsthand.
Our very own daughter
was taken
by perverts and swindlers
and let fall
into a world of sin.
Sheriff?
I hope...
You ought to come take
a look at this.
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
My God.
(WOMAN SNORTING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFLING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
MAN: Go easy on that stuff,
will ya?
You know what they say
about too much
of a good thing...
(SNIFFLES AND SIGHS)
Give me some sugar.
(WOMAN CHUCKLES)
(WOMAN MOANS)
(WOMAN CONTINUES SNIFFLING)
You're special.
There ain't nobody else
out there like you.
Now giddyup.
Time is money.
Everybody is waiting.
(MAN WHOOPS)
You're a fucking sex symbol.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(GULLS CALLING)
In the summertime
When the weather is hot
You can stretch right up
and touch the sky
When the weather's fine
You got women
You got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see
what you can find
If her daddy's rich
Take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor
Just do what you feel
Speed along the lane
Do a turn
or return the twenty-five
When the sun goes down
You can make it
Make it good and really fine
We're not bad people
We're not dirty
We're not mean
We love everybody
But we do as we please
When the weather's fine
We go fishin'
or go swimmin' in the sea
We're always happy
Life's for livin', yeah
That's our philosophy
- (RADIO STATIC BUZZES)
- MAN 1: Highs in the low...
MAN 2: America needs Jesus...
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER CAR RADIO)
(DISTORTED SPEECH PLAYING)
(SURF MUSIC PLAYING)
Maxine.
MAXINE:
"The Farmer's Daughters."
Oh, hot damn.
Look-it, there I am.
Wow.
Hollywood, here we come.
No, ma'am.
We don't need Hollywood.
These type of pictures
turn regular folks into stars.
We're gonna do it
all ourselves.
- Ain't that right, RJ?
- Yes, sir.
WAYNE: Finally,
a level playing field for people like us.
I don't know, Wayne.
Sounds an awful lot
like what you said
about The Topless Carwash.
You remember that?
WAYNE: Yeah.
And had the IRS not had
a goddamn personal vendetta
against me,
that would've panned out
beautifully.
WOMAN 1: Uh-huh.
Well, you know
I'm always game.
My American Dream
is not unreasonable.
I just want a paid-for house
with a big ole pool,
so I can float around
with my knees in the breeze
and tan these titties.
(LAUGHS)
What? I was dealt a good hand.
People spend a lot of money
to look at what God gave me.
Be a sin
not to take care of 'em.
MAN 1: Mmm.
- Yes, it sure would.
- (CHUCKLES)
What about you, Maxine?
What's your American Dream?
Hmm.
- (BELL RINGS)
- (CHICKEN CLUCKS)
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(FOLK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER VAN RADIO)
(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
OVER TV)
WAYNE: Hurry it up, we aren't
gonna be long in there.
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
If this kid I picked up
from the university
can put it together
like he says,
our days of struggling
may soon be over.
We do even half the numbers
of Debbie Does Dallas,
I'm outta the red for good.
Hell, let's make
a picture a week, then.
Patience, darlin'.
I've been being patient
my whole life.
Well, that's the thing
about being patient.
- I need to be famous, Wayne.
- Mmm-hmm.
I'm ready
for the high life.
I'm sick and tired of
never gettin' what I want.
Well, you help me keep those
jokers in line out there,
I'll make sure you get
everything your heart desires.
You better have.
I don't wanna worry
no more, Wayne.
I deserve nice things.
I have cosmopolitan taste.
- Don't I know it.
- I mean it.
I want the whole world
to know my name.
Like Lynda Carter
or some shit.
Hey, everyone with a pulse
is gonna lust
after a piece of Maxine Minx
once they see what you can do.
You know why?
Why?
'Cause you got
that X factor.
Fuckin'-A-right.
Now, mosey on over there
and grab us some Wonder
Bread, Wonder Woman.
MAXINE: I don't
like his girlfriend.
WAYNE: You don't like
anybody's girlfriend.
She hardly says a word.
She just stares at everyone.
Well, she's shy.
Probably ain't never seen
nobody like us before.
People who stare
give me the heebie-jeebies.
Better get used to that
if you're gonna be
in the movies.
Your little boyfriend
is cute.
You help him
with all his films?
Sometimes, yeah.
GIRL: Is that your boyfriend?
Sometimes, yeah.
Hey, how come you don't gotta
film none of this in order?
Well, once I have it all
in the can,
I can rearrange it
however I want.
No shit.
I actually intend
on experimenting
a lot with
the film's editing.
Giving it a certain sense
of the avant-garde,
like they're doing in France.
It's classier that way.
And it's a good trick
to disguise the low budget.
All right,
let's slate it.
(CAMERA ROLLING)
And hit it.
All right,
go ahead and fill her up.
You know,
if you tilt the camera up
- from the nozzle...
- (CAMERA STOPS ROLLING)
...it'll look
like he's using his cock.
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
See? I got good sense, too.
MAXINE: How come
we couldn't do
any of this filming
in Houston?
Ain't they got
plenty of farms?
Well, this county
raised property taxes,
a little bit of cash
goes a long way out here.
Most older folks
can't compete
with the bigger outfits
no more.
Now, we're not the only ones
trying to make a buck.
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
Kidnappers, murderers,
sex fiends...
All the result
of our increasingly
secular society...
Besides, it ain't
exactly something
I wanna advertise around town.
You know how
some people can get
when it comes to sex.
EVANGELIST: Remember
what happened
in Sodom and Gomorrah.
- Get what we needed?
- Oh, I got it.
Thanks to help
from yours truly.
- Got my smokes?
- WAYNE: Yes. God damn.
WOMAN 1: I'm just askin'.
Hey, if I'm gonna be
having sex for you,
I'm gonna
need cigarettes.
How's the script?
I don't know.
It's all right.
Does it matter?
Hey, I don't wanna have
to wear a hard hat
to make a livin', do you?
No.
Then don't you be
bringin' down the vibe
of my investments.
Negativity attracts
negative results.
Winstons? You know
I only smoke Old Golds.
All they had,
Bobby-Lynne.
That's it.
I'm calling my agent.
Just get back
in the dang van.
(VAN ENGINE STARTS)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Mmm-mmm!
EVANGELIST: That's right.
The deviants are
already amongst us,
waiting for our sons
and daughters.
So, heed dire warnings,
and repent
before it is too late.
He may be a forgiving God,
but every man
has got his limits.
(COW MOOS)
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER VAN RADIO)
Must be a bad wreck.
MAN: (ON RADIO)
Y'all stay safe out there.
I'll be right back
with some more golden oldies
right after
this commercial break.
- 93.5, KBQB.
- (CAR HORNS HONKING)
(COW MOOS)
...the 60th anniversary
...take place this Saturday.
Don't miss your chance
to tour the entire state...
(RETCHES AND GAGS)
- What is it?
- WAYNE: Oh, don't look.
I hate blood and guts.
WAYNE: Just when you thought
you'd escaped
the slaughterhouse.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Yeah.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Now, that's a bonanza...
- BOBBY-LYNNE: Was that the...
- (MAN 1 CHUCKLING)
WAYNE: This is it.
Our own studio backlot.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Thank goodness.
I'm horny.
- RJ: You're always horny.
- BOBBY-LYNNE: No, not always.
It's perfect.
It's really gonna
add a lot of production value.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY OVER VAN RADIO)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWS CAWING)
WAYNE: Y'all stay put
while I go
and handle business
right quick.
This wasn't I had in mind
when I agreed to help out
on your film.
Gotta start somewhere,
Lorraine.
RJ, it's smut.
When did you become
such a prude?
I'm not.
I just don't understand
why you're doing all this.
Because it is possible
to make a good dirty movie.
OLD MAN: Who's that?
Yes, sir. It's Wayne Galleroy.
We spoke on the telephone.
(DOOR OPENS)
WAYNE: Uh...
Howard, right?
HOWARD: You from the county?
This here's private property.
Didn't you see the signs
down at the end of the drive?
WAYNE: Oh, easy, partner.
- (BOBBY-LYNNE GIGGLING)
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
Somethin's wrong.
What'chu talkin' 'bout?
HOWARD: You're trespassing.
The law says I can shoot.
Sir, I ain't from the county.
I'm from Houston.
We spoke on Tuesday.
You remember?
About y'all's boarding house.
HOWARD: Oh, that's right.
You're looking
for a place to stay.
Well, you never can be
too careful with strangers.
You had me
pretty nervous there.
HOWARD: It ain't even loaded.
Most of the times,
just wavin' it around
is all it takes.
Oh, yes, sir.
I keep the same thing
in my glove box.
MAN 1: Wow,
that's one ugly sumbitch.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
What? (CHUCKLING)
He is.
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
WAYNE: Hell of a spread
you got here.
HOWARD: We like it. (COUGHS)
(HOWARD COUGHING AND WHEEZING)
WAYNE: You all right there,
old-timer?
HOWARD: I'm fine.
(HOWARD GRUNTS)
- She ain't much.
- She's gorgeous.
Building was for soldiers
during the Civil War.
They never saw
any action though.
What about you?
You serve?
Flat feet.
MAN 1: I did.
Two tours in South Vietnam.
Had enough farmers
tryin' to shoot me
for one lifetime.
Know what I mean, Pops?
Oorah.
(BOBBY-LYNNE GIGGLES)
Oh, careful, Howie.
Hot damn,
that's my future fiancee
you're eyeballin' there.
Been a while
since you seen
anythin' that nice?
I don't recall
you mentioning
you'd bringing
all these others.
Now, about that...
See, your ad said $30, but...
I threw in a little extra
to sweeten the deal.
I hope that's okay.
I don't think
I like you, Wayne.
In fact,
I don't much like the looks
of none of y'all.
Now, my wife is next door,
so I would appreciate
a little discretion.
I give you my word.
You won't even know
we're here.
(WAYNE SIGHS)
That was
some stellar negotiating.
You really do have
a knack for business.
You keep jawin', towhead,
I'll pull you off
the main stage for a month.
Oh, but then, honey,
you won't make
no money neither.
MAXINE: How could you
just stand there
and let him talk
about us like that?
WAYNE: Oh, calm down.
Ain't no need
to harsh the mellow.
It's harmless.
He's just old.
His pecker ain't
probably been hard
since before you were born.
I'd hate people
like us then, too.
He don't know
what we're doing, does he?
So, church mouse,
you do speak.
No.
He sure doesn't.
And I intend
to keep it that way.
Now, I don't wanna give
the old codger a heart attack.
Would you?
It's better to beg
for forgiveness
than ask for permission.
You know what I mean?
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
All right.
That's enough jabberin'.
I reckon it's about high time
we cut to the chase
and we give the people
what they wanna see.
What do you say?
Fucking finally!
(MOANS)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (MAN KISSING)
- (MOANING)
(GASPS)
(MOANING LOUDLY)
(BED CREAKING)
(BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING
AND GASPING LOUDLY)
Okay. Now...
Now flip her over.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Ooh!
- (BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING)
- (BED THUDDING)
(MAN MOANING)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Oh, yeah.
Fuck me.
- Yeah.
- MAN: Fuck.
That's great.
Just scooch your chin up
for me.
All right,
now slow it all down.
- I wanna see the passion.
- Hey, kid.
How about you just
point the camera
and stay in your lane.
Let me do the screwing here.
(BOBBY-LYNNE LAUGHING)
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Yeah!
Yes!
(MUFFLED BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING)
BOBBY-LYNNE:
Oh, my God.
(BOBBY-LYNNE
AND MAN CONTINUE MOANING)
(DISTANT CROW CAWING)
(WATER SLOSHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRD CALLING)
WAYNE: (EXCITEDLY) Now,
I may not know shit from Shinola
when it comes to filmmaking,
but I know for damn sure
people are gonna
wanna see
what I just saw in there.
Well, that's
'cause I'm not treatin' it
like pornography,
but as cinema.
That's what these other
adult films are lackin'.
Whatever you're doin',
you keep doin' it.
People's eyes
are gonna pop out
of their damn skulls
when they see this.
We're gonna be rich.
Feel how hard my cock is.
(WAYNE EXHALES)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, sorry, baby.
(SCOFFING)
Don't be standing there
like you're all proud
of yourself.
I was born
for this line of work.
Uh. You didn't
do nothin', dummy.
It's called actin'.
You good,
but you ain't that good.
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Fuck my pussy.
Oh, you make me so wet.
Oh, my God, you're so big.
(STOPS MOANING)
Aw, don't look so glum.
You did just fine. Come here.
I think I love you.
Bless your heart.
(DISTANT BIRD SCREECHING)
(PANTING)
RJ: And action!
Sorry to bother you, ma'am,
but my van broke down
on the highway back yonder,
and I was hopin'
I could use y'all's phone
to call for help.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm afraid we don't own
a telephone,
but my daddy
will be home soon,
and I'm sure he could give you
a lift to town.
Would you like to come inside?
Much obliged.
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLOCK TICKING)
Hello?
Hello?
(FLIES BUZZING)
(WATER DRIPPING)
Lemonade?
(METAL CLANKS)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXHALES)
Sure is hot out there.
You must be awful thirsty.
(CHUCKLES) Yes, ma'am.
(SIPPING)
It's got a good taste.
(CLEARS THROAT)
I should probably
get back now.
My boyfriend gets real fussy
when he don't know
where I'm at, so...
(WHISPERING) Come with me
before Daddy gets home.
I was young once, too.
It was taken
right before the first war.
Believe it or not,
my Howard served in both.
He survived the trenches
and Omaha Beach.
There wasn't anything
he wouldn't do for me
back then.
That's the power of beauty.
I was a dancer
in those early years.
But then the war came, so...
Not everything in life
turns out how you expect.
Such a special face.
Beautiful.
Look.
I don't know
what's come over me.
I've never quite
felt like this before.
If Daddy catches us,
there's no telling
what he might do.
What are you doing?
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
You should go.
It will be our secret.
What will?
Shh.
(FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING)
(HOWARD GRUNTING SOFTLY)
WAYNE: Watch out!
I've been looking
everywhere for you!
MAXINE: Sorry.
The kid says
we're gonna lose the light!
Well, come on now,
chop-chop.
MAXINE: You're not good.
Bluff it.
(SNORTING)
You're a fucking sex symbol.
(SNIFFLES)
(SNIFFLES)
I will not accept a life
I do not deserve.
(INHALES AND EXHALES)
WAYNE: Are you ready?
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Let's go to work.
WAYNE: Coast is clear.
- RJ: Right...
- LORRAINE: Sound speed.
RJ: Okay, we're rollin'.
Farmer's Daughter, take one.
Action.
I'm looking
for the owner of this farm.
His daughter said I could
find him in here.
You must have been
talking to my sister.
Sister?
- She didn't mention you.
- Not surprised.
She's always been jealous.
I'm younger,
get all the attention.
Daddy never lets her
leave the farm anymore.
He's very protective.
MAN: Well, I was hopin'
he could give me a ride
back to town
before it got dark.
We shouldn't disturb him.
It would only make him angry.
You wouldn't like Daddy
when he's angry.
I could give you a ride.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAIR BRUSHING)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAXINE MOANING)
(MAN GRUNTING)
(CONTINUES MOANING)
(MUFFLED MAXINE MOANING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAXINE MOANING LOUDLY)
(TAPE STOPS ROLLING)
HOWARD: We talked about this.
OLD WOMAN: Howard?
Please.
You know I can't.
My heart...
(HOWARD GRUNTING)
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
They're gonna put me
in the movies
They're gonna make
a big star out of me
They'll make
a film about a girl
Who's sad and lonely
And all I gotta do
is act naturally
You were amazing out there.
Now I know why Wayne
left his wife for you.
(SCOFFS) So do I.
Careful.
WAYNE: Told y'all
she was somethin' special.
X factor.
Thanks, baby.
MAXINE: What are you
looking at?
WAYNE: Wait, come on now.
No, Wayne.
Anybody ever teach you
not to stare?
It's rude.
You got somethin' to say to me
or what?
No.
LORRAINE: Well,
I do have a question.
WAYNE: See,
she's interested, is all.
What's on your mind,
church mouse?
Isn't it strange
watching her doin' it
with him?
It's just business.
As long as the camera
is runnin'.
LORRAINE: So the camera
changes things?
That's right.
RJ: It's not real life, Raine.
It's just a movie.
I know that.
Just sayin'.
What about love?
What about love?
Well, don't y'all
believe in it?
Of course we believe in love.
How can you love someone
and still be
with other people?
You think we don't have
no morals or somethin',
is that it?
No. No, I just...
Take it from me,
letting outdated traditions
control how you live your
life will get you nowhere.
I don't know about you,
but I got
better places to be
than where I came from.
Amen to that.
MAXINE: And besides,
it's just sex.
You can decide
who you wanna love,
but not who you wanna screw.
Attraction's
out of our control.
It ain't healthy keeping those
feelings locked away inside.
I seen you sneaking
a few long peeks
at Jackson over here.
- No, I... I wasn't looking...
- BOBBY-LYNNE: It's okay.
He don't mind none.
She's right.
I don't mind.
No offense.
BOBBY-LYNNE:
Everybody likes sex.
It's a gas.
We're just not afraid
to admit it.
Queer, straight,
Black, white...
(SCOFFS) It's all disco.
You know why?
Because one day,
we're gonna be too old
to fuck.
And life's too short,
if you ask me.
Roger that.
BOBBY-LYNNE: The fact
of the truth of the matter is,
we turn folks on.
- And that scares 'em.
- They can't look away neither.
That's right.
- We're like a foxy car wreck.
- (WAYNE CHUCKLES)
WAYNE: Which is how I know
that this new home video
market is set to explode.
Finally, people are gonna
get to see what they desire
in the privacy of their
own homes, free of judgment.
We're gonna give that to them
before anyone else.
Porn ain't only gonna be
- for perverts no more.
- BOBBY-LYNNE: Aw.
Toast to the perverts.
They've been payin'
our bills for years.
Hear, hear!
To the perverts!
To livin' a life
of excess,
being young and having fun
till the day we die.
To the power
of independent cinema.
To living life
on our own terms.
And never accepting what
self-righteous naysayers
have to say.
WAYNE: Right on.
I don't know
if I agree with all of that,
but I did like
what I saw today.
I didn't think I would,
but I did.
WAYNE: Cheers to that.
- JACKSON: You ready?
- Yeah.
(PLAYING MELLOW TUNE)
(SINGING) I took my love
I took it down
I climbed a mountain
and I turned around
And I saw my reflection
In the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide
brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart
rise above?
Can I sail
Through the changin'
ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons
Of my life?
(BOBBY-LYNNE HUMMING TUNE)
Well, I've been afraid
Of changin'
'Cause I built my life
Around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm gettin' older too
(BOBBY-LYNNE HUMMING TUNE)
I wanna do a scene
in the movie.
What?
I wanna be in the movie.
No.
Well, why not?
(SCOFFING) Well...
Because...
No.
Did y'all put her up to this
or somethin'?
- BOBBY-LYNNE: No!
- Hey!
Take it easy.
They didn't do nothin'.
LORRAINE: Nobody put me up
to anything.
I've been thinking
about it all day.
And...
Well, I'm young.
And if we really are makin'
a good dirty movie,
then I don't wanna
just carry the equipment.
I wanna be in it.
Well, you can't.
Says who?
It's my film, Lorraine.
I mean,
it wouldn't make any sense.
We've already shot half of it.
The story can't just suddenly
change midway through.
Why?
Because it just isn't done.
What about in Psycho?
You love that movie.
Well, Psycho is a horror film.
And that plot was a MacGuffin
to build suspense.
And I'm not making
that kind of movie.
LORRAINE: Oh, come on, RJ.
Nobody's comin'
to see this film for the plot.
They're comin'
to see tits and ass.
- And a big dick.
- Lorraine!
- (ALL SNICKERING)
- It's the truth.
Why not just give the people
what they're payin' for?
Because I'm making
something better than that.
When did you become
such a prude?
WAYNE: All right, hold on.
I am the executive producer,
which means I get a word.
So, why don't we just
take a step outside
before anythin' gets said
that someone might regret.
You gotta back me up
in here, Wayne!
I mean,
this situation is fixin'
to get outta control.
It is awfully close.
Relax.
Hey, what is it they say,
"Life imitates art"?
It's the other way around.
Whatever, it don't matter.
But you need
to listen to me, okay?
Because you ain't been 42,
and I have been 23.
And I'm gonna explain
somethin' to you
about young women.
Now, if she's serious,
which I suspect she is,
she's gonna do it
whether you like it or not.
Now, you try to stop her,
not only is she gonna do it,
she's gonna go on and do it
with God knows how many people
in God knows
how many other films,
and nobody wants that.
The way I see it,
you only got
one good option here.
What, letting her get balled
by some man whore?
Come on now,
Jackson is a professional.
He ain't got no diseases
or nothin'.
You just want more sex
in the movie.
That ain't me, hoss.
She wants it, you heard her.
Heck, if she does great,
she gets famous,
maybe she'll take you with her.
Wayne, you don't get it.
Lorraine is not
like the others in there.
She is a nice girl.
I beg your pardon?
No, I didn't mean it
like that.
Oh, I hate to be the one
to tell you this,
but ain't none of them
nice girls.
(DISTORTED GROOVE
MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(WATER RUNNING)
(SOBBING SOFTLY)
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
To hell with this.
She can have it.
Let's see how far they get
without me.
- (ENGINE STARTING)
- Good luck finding
your own way out of here.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
What the...
Ma'am?
Are you all right?
Sorry, I'm...
(OLD WOMAN MOANS)
Ma'am?
(OLD WOMAN MOANS)
(HESITATING)
What?
How come you just did that?
Why won't you look at me?
Look at me
like you looked at her.
What?
I can show you
what I'm capable of.
Stop. I don't
wanna see it.
Maybe we should just go
find your husband.
(GRUNTS)
(CHOKING AND GASPING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER VAN RADIO)
(CONTINUES CHOKING
AND GASPING)
Help me.
(CONTINUES CHOKING
AND GASPING)
(COUGHING AND GURGLING)
(OLD WOMAN GRUNTING ANGRILY)
(CONTINUES GRUNTING ANGRILY)
(WAILING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oui, oui, Marie
If you'll do this for me
Then I'll do that for you
Oui, oui, Marie
(OVER VAN RADIO) Come on,
baby Don't fear the reaper
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES
PLAYING OVER RADIO)
(DOOR OPENS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
RJ?
RJ?
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
- (GASPING)
- Hey, hey, hey.
What's goin' on,
church mouse?
(BREATHING HEAVILY) It's RJ.
I woke up, and he was gone.
I...
You don't think he left me,
do you?
Well, the van's still here.
He's gotta be around
somewhere.
Oh, hey, it ain't
like your dog ran off.
He's probably just
processin' things, you know?
Go on back to bed.
I feel bad if I hurt him.
I don't wanna break up.
Hun, you didn't
do nothin' wrong.
He'll get over it.
He just needs
to toughen up, is all.
Come on. I'll talk to him
in the morning.
LORRAINE: Will you
help me find him?
(EXHALES)
Please? I'm worried.
All right.
I ain't gettin' in the middle
of no more of this shit.
WAYNE: (WHISPERING) RJ!
Are you in here, brother?
This ain't the way
to go about handlin' this.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (SOFTLY) Oh, no.
(HESITATES)
I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
HOWARD: What are you
doin' out here?
I'm lookin' for my boyfriend.
HOWARD: Have you seen
my wife?
No, sir.
WAYNE: Two keys to keepin'
a healthy relationship.
Never let a good woman
out of your sight.
Never mention her weight.
How do you think
I've been surrounded
by so many beautiful females
my whole life?
There's an art to it.
Just like business.
- (YELLS)
- (COW MOOS)
- Fuck! Son of a bitch!
- (COWS MOOING)
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
Oh, fuck me!
(COWS MOOING LOUDLY)
Oh, shut up, cheeseburger!
Go wander into traffic.
(GROANING) Oh, fuck.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
RJ, you in here?
I stepped on a nail.
Come on out and help me,
for Christ's sake!
I'm gonna catch tetanus
from this shit.
(GROANS)
RJ?
Church mouse, that you?
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
HOWARD: There's another light
down in the cellar.
Can you go get it?
Please. My wife is not well.
It's very dark,
and I'm worried she could fall
and break her hip.
(DOOR OPENS)
HOWARD: Downstairs.
You'll see my workbench.
(FOOTSTEPS RUSTLING)
(LORRAINE SIGHS)
Found it!
Hey, I'm locked in!
Hey!
(DOOR RATTLING)
Hey! Hey! Open up!
(PANTING)
(SCREAMING)
(CRYING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
What is it, baby?
Thought I heard somethin'.
Probably nothin'.
Old habits die hard.
Go back to sleep.
Aye, aye, captain.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
Everything okay, Pops?
My wife, she's gone missing.
Missin'?
She gets confused.
It happens sometimes
after dark.
Lot of firepower
for a missin' wife.
It's for gators.
I found her once
by the edge of our pond.
If she was to fall in...
Want some help?
Not for self
but for country, right?
Let me go and get my skivvies.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
JACKSON: I say we each
take a side of the perimeter.
Cover ground quicker that way.
HOWARD: I only got
the one light.
No offense,
but it's been a while
since you was deployed.
I spent three nights face down
in a rice paddy
scanning for land mines
and trip wires.
Once a marine,
always a marine.
If she's out here...
I'll find her.
(HAUNTING MUSIC CONTINUES)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I got nothin', Pops.
Shit.
What you doing
all the way in there?
Oh, no.
Pops, you okay?
You in here?
(BANGING)
LORRAINE: (CRYING) Help!
Help, somebody, please!
Please help me!
RJ!
Help!
(LORRAINE SOBBING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SOBBING AND PANTING)
Oh, shit!
(PANTING) You scared me, Pops.
Once a marine,
always a marine.
Well...
Your lady ain't in there.
I can't give her
what she wants anymore.
You don't understand
what it's like.
You can still do
as you please.
Say what?
The last bohemian
that stayed here was the same.
Traipsin' around
in barely any clothes.
Enticin' my wife.
Yeah...
Okay, well,
we better get back up
to the house
and find out what's goin' on.
I know exactly
what's goin' on.
- (FIRES GUN)
- (WATER SPLASHES)
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(SCREAMING)
- (GASPS)
- (MAXINE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(BOBBY-LYNNE GASPING)
- (MAXINE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
- Maxine?
That woman was in my bed
touching me!
(CRYING AND SCREAMING)
HOWARD: You're just
makin' things worse.
Help me!
Somebody! Please!
Nobody is comin' for ya.
Get back down in that cellar
and be quiet!
(SOBBING)
- Shut up!
- Help!
- Hey! Somebody, please!
- Kidnappers, murderers,
sex fiends,
lurkin' where
we least expect...
LORRAINE: Help!
- Somebody, help!
- ...in good Christian homes,
right under our very noses!
(SNORTING)
(EXHALES)
(SNIFFLING AND SIGHING)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Jackson?
Wayne?
Where are y'all?
(SIGHS)
Oh, my goodness.
Ma'am?
Ma'am? Be careful!
Step away from the edge,
it's dangerous.
- (OLD WOMAN MOANS)
- It's all right. Here, here.
You're safe now, okay?
Are you hurt?
I don't see anything.
My nana gets confused
sometimes as well.
I learned all about it.
Believe it or not,
I've even thought
about becomin' a nurse
one day.
So...
Okay. Why don't you
come with...
Oh!
What the hell
did you do that for?
I don't need a nurse.
Why should you get
to have it all?
What have you ever done
except be a whore?
Okay, you know what?
You don't want my help?
No problem.
I was just tryin' to be nice.
You don't deserve
to be able to just flaunt it
in my face like you do.
It ain't my fault you didn't
live the life you wanted.
Now move
out of the way, please.
Move! You mean old ugly b...
Bitch.
(SCREAMING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING STOPS)
Was that the one?
You know I don't like blondes.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
Disgustin'.
Lorraine?
RJ?
(HOWARD WHEEZING)
HOWARD: Uh, place is empty.
What about
that other fella, Wayne?
In the barn.
Stuck like the pig he was.
Well, that's three down.
Four.
And I got another
kept up at the house for you.
I don't want her.
This one was different.
She had something special.
Like I did.
Sick and tired of never
gettin' what I want.
You know I want to give it
to you, Pearl.
But I'm tired, too.
I know.
(SIGHING)
Tell me I'm special.
Of course you are.
I've felt that way
since the first moment we met.
You were the most
beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
Oh, not anymore.
Always.
Tell me I'm yours.
That you still want me.
Make me feel young again.
What if my heart
can't take it?
It can.
(HOWARD AND PEARL KISSING)
(PEARL MOANING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(HOWARD GASPS)
(BED CREAKING)
(PEARL MOANING)
- PEARL: Fuck me, Howard.
- (HOWARD GRUNTS LOUDLY)
PEARL: Fuck me.
(PEARL MOANING LOUDLY)
Fuck me.
(MAXINE PANTING)
LORRAINE: (SCREAMING
AND CRYING) Help!
Help!
Somebody, help me, please!
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(PANTING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING
ON TV CONTINUES)
(CRYING) Let me out of here!
Keep your voice down.
Don't tell me
to be quiet!
I was locked in a dungeon
down there!
These old people
are fucking crazy!
I have to get
out of this house
before they kill me, too.
We need to find the keys
to their truck.
I never should have
listened to you.
This is all your fault!
Lorraine, we need
to stick together.
I hate you!
I hate you all so much!
Lorraine!
(GUN FIRES)
HOWARD: I told her to stay
in the damn cellar!
PEARL: That's all right.
We don't need her anymore.
We got each other again.
HOWARD: Help me
drag the body inside.
If she's in the house,
that's self-defense.
- That's the law.
- (PANTING)
PEARL: You don't
really believe
anyone's gonna come
looking for 'em, do you?
HOWARD: We ain't
gonna risk it.
We need
to play this smart, Pearl.
No sense in making a mess now.
If nobody shows up
by tomorrow,
we'll take the body
and we'll dump her
in the pond with the others.
Which reminds me,
we're gonna need
to get Wayne outta the barn
- and sink him, too.
- (BREATH TREMBLING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING
OVER TV CONTINUES)
She's heavier than she looks.
- (GURGLES)
- (GASPS)
PEARL: Howard. Howard!
Howard?
Howard?
Howard!
Where are the keys
to the truck?
- He's having a heart attack.
- I don't give a shit!
- Where are the fucking keys?
- Well, now...
- PEARL: In the kitchen...
- ...here we all are...
- ...under the lamp.
- ...together.
PEARL: Howard?
We have reached a crossroad.
With salvation...
- Howard?
- ...or damnation?
You're gonna rot when people
find out what you've done.
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
The time is now.
- What I have done?
- For if we do not take control
- of our own fate, the Lord...
- What about you?
...shall do it for us.
You don't think I know
who you really are?
I saw what you did
in the barn.
You're a deviant little whore.
We're the same.
You'll end up just like me.
Time to turn our backs on sin
and make the commitment...
I'm nothin' like you.
...once and for all.
You're a kidnappin',
murderin' sex fiend.
I'm a fucking star!
The whole world
is gonna know my name.
EVANGELIST: I want
to hear you all.
Say it with me now.
I will not accept a life
- I do not deserve.
- I will not accept a life
I do not deserve.
Hallelujah!
(APPLAUSE ON TV)
Stop fuckin' starin' at me!
(GUN CLICKS)
(GUN CLICKING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING ON TV)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Now, that's what I call
divine intervention!
The Lord smiles on those who
accept Him. Praise his name!
Glory be to Jesus!
PEARL: My hip... (GASPING)
Help.
Shh!
PEARL: You whore!
You're not innocent!
- You're not special!
- (ENGINE STARTS)
It'll all be taken from you!
Just like it was from me!
I'll tell everyone
- what you are!
- (ENGINE REVS)
(SCREAMS)
It'll be our secret.
Divine intervention.
(SNIFFING)
Praise the fuckin' Lord.
EVANGELIST: I hope that,
through my own admission,
others may find the light.
I wanna show y'all somethin'.
Get a shot of this.
There she is.
My beautiful
little daughter Maxine.
Lured into a life of sin
by the very deviants
we warn of here
on a daily basis.
From our lovin' home
into the hands of devils.
We pray, one day,
she'll find her way home
to us.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
EVANGELIST:
Bless you, bless you.
(CROW CAWING)
OFFICER 1: What do you reckon
happened, Sheriff?
How the hell
should I know?
OFFICER 2: Hey, boss.
One of the boys
found this inside.
What do you think is on it?
Well, by the looks
of everythin'...
I'd say one goddamn fucked up
horror picture.
(FLY BUZZING)
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
We come together today...
(EVANGELIST CONTINUES
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV)
In dark times such as these,
we must all remember
to look
to the Lord for guidance.
Submit yourselves,
then, to God.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
Resist the Devil...
- (CONGREGATION MURMURS)
- ...and he will flee from you.
I regret to say
I know the powers
of Satan firsthand.
Our very own daughter
was taken
by perverts and swindlers
and let fall
into a world of sin.
Sheriff?
I hope...
You ought to come take
a look at this.
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
My God.
(WOMAN SNORTING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFLING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
MAN: Go easy on that stuff,
will ya?
You know what they say
about too much
of a good thing...
(SNIFFLES AND SIGHS)
Give me some sugar.
(WOMAN CHUCKLES)
(WOMAN MOANS)
(WOMAN CONTINUES SNIFFLING)
You're special.
There ain't nobody else
out there like you.
Now giddyup.
Time is money.
Everybody is waiting.
(MAN WHOOPS)
You're a fucking sex symbol.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(GULLS CALLING)
In the summertime
When the weather is hot
You can stretch right up
and touch the sky
When the weather's fine
You got women
You got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see
what you can find
If her daddy's rich
Take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor
Just do what you feel
Speed along the lane
Do a turn
or return the twenty-five
When the sun goes down
You can make it
Make it good and really fine
We're not bad people
We're not dirty
We're not mean
We love everybody
But we do as we please
When the weather's fine
We go fishin'
or go swimmin' in the sea
We're always happy
Life's for livin', yeah
That's our philosophy
- (RADIO STATIC BUZZES)
- MAN 1: Highs in the low...
MAN 2: America needs Jesus...
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER CAR RADIO)
(DISTORTED SPEECH PLAYING)
(SURF MUSIC PLAYING)
Maxine.
MAXINE:
"The Farmer's Daughters."
Oh, hot damn.
Look-it, there I am.
Wow.
Hollywood, here we come.
No, ma'am.
We don't need Hollywood.
These type of pictures
turn regular folks into stars.
We're gonna do it
all ourselves.
- Ain't that right, RJ?
- Yes, sir.
WAYNE: Finally,
a level playing field for people like us.
I don't know, Wayne.
Sounds an awful lot
like what you said
about The Topless Carwash.
You remember that?
WAYNE: Yeah.
And had the IRS not had
a goddamn personal vendetta
against me,
that would've panned out
beautifully.
WOMAN 1: Uh-huh.
Well, you know
I'm always game.
My American Dream
is not unreasonable.
I just want a paid-for house
with a big ole pool,
so I can float around
with my knees in the breeze
and tan these titties.
(LAUGHS)
What? I was dealt a good hand.
People spend a lot of money
to look at what God gave me.
Be a sin
not to take care of 'em.
MAN 1: Mmm.
- Yes, it sure would.
- (CHUCKLES)
What about you, Maxine?
What's your American Dream?
Hmm.
- (BELL RINGS)
- (CHICKEN CLUCKS)
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(FOLK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER VAN RADIO)
(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
OVER TV)
WAYNE: Hurry it up, we aren't
gonna be long in there.
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
If this kid I picked up
from the university
can put it together
like he says,
our days of struggling
may soon be over.
We do even half the numbers
of Debbie Does Dallas,
I'm outta the red for good.
Hell, let's make
a picture a week, then.
Patience, darlin'.
I've been being patient
my whole life.
Well, that's the thing
about being patient.
- I need to be famous, Wayne.
- Mmm-hmm.
I'm ready
for the high life.
I'm sick and tired of
never gettin' what I want.
Well, you help me keep those
jokers in line out there,
I'll make sure you get
everything your heart desires.
You better have.
I don't wanna worry
no more, Wayne.
I deserve nice things.
I have cosmopolitan taste.
- Don't I know it.
- I mean it.
I want the whole world
to know my name.
Like Lynda Carter
or some shit.
Hey, everyone with a pulse
is gonna lust
after a piece of Maxine Minx
once they see what you can do.
You know why?
Why?
'Cause you got
that X factor.
Fuckin'-A-right.
Now, mosey on over there
and grab us some Wonder
Bread, Wonder Woman.
MAXINE: I don't
like his girlfriend.
WAYNE: You don't like
anybody's girlfriend.
She hardly says a word.
She just stares at everyone.
Well, she's shy.
Probably ain't never seen
nobody like us before.
People who stare
give me the heebie-jeebies.
Better get used to that
if you're gonna be
in the movies.
Your little boyfriend
is cute.
You help him
with all his films?
Sometimes, yeah.
GIRL: Is that your boyfriend?
Sometimes, yeah.
Hey, how come you don't gotta
film none of this in order?
Well, once I have it all
in the can,
I can rearrange it
however I want.
No shit.
I actually intend
on experimenting
a lot with
the film's editing.
Giving it a certain sense
of the avant-garde,
like they're doing in France.
It's classier that way.
And it's a good trick
to disguise the low budget.
All right,
let's slate it.
(CAMERA ROLLING)
And hit it.
All right,
go ahead and fill her up.
You know,
if you tilt the camera up
- from the nozzle...
- (CAMERA STOPS ROLLING)
...it'll look
like he's using his cock.
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
See? I got good sense, too.
MAXINE: How come
we couldn't do
any of this filming
in Houston?
Ain't they got
plenty of farms?
Well, this county
raised property taxes,
a little bit of cash
goes a long way out here.
Most older folks
can't compete
with the bigger outfits
no more.
Now, we're not the only ones
trying to make a buck.
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
Kidnappers, murderers,
sex fiends...
All the result
of our increasingly
secular society...
Besides, it ain't
exactly something
I wanna advertise around town.
You know how
some people can get
when it comes to sex.
EVANGELIST: Remember
what happened
in Sodom and Gomorrah.
- Get what we needed?
- Oh, I got it.
Thanks to help
from yours truly.
- Got my smokes?
- WAYNE: Yes. God damn.
WOMAN 1: I'm just askin'.
Hey, if I'm gonna be
having sex for you,
I'm gonna
need cigarettes.
How's the script?
I don't know.
It's all right.
Does it matter?
Hey, I don't wanna have
to wear a hard hat
to make a livin', do you?
No.
Then don't you be
bringin' down the vibe
of my investments.
Negativity attracts
negative results.
Winstons? You know
I only smoke Old Golds.
All they had,
Bobby-Lynne.
That's it.
I'm calling my agent.
Just get back
in the dang van.
(VAN ENGINE STARTS)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Mmm-mmm!
EVANGELIST: That's right.
The deviants are
already amongst us,
waiting for our sons
and daughters.
So, heed dire warnings,
and repent
before it is too late.
He may be a forgiving God,
but every man
has got his limits.
(COW MOOS)
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER VAN RADIO)
Must be a bad wreck.
MAN: (ON RADIO)
Y'all stay safe out there.
I'll be right back
with some more golden oldies
right after
this commercial break.
- 93.5, KBQB.
- (CAR HORNS HONKING)
(COW MOOS)
...the 60th anniversary
...take place this Saturday.
Don't miss your chance
to tour the entire state...
(RETCHES AND GAGS)
- What is it?
- WAYNE: Oh, don't look.
I hate blood and guts.
WAYNE: Just when you thought
you'd escaped
the slaughterhouse.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Yeah.
WOMAN: (OVER RADIO)
Now, that's a bonanza...
- BOBBY-LYNNE: Was that the...
- (MAN 1 CHUCKLING)
WAYNE: This is it.
Our own studio backlot.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Thank goodness.
I'm horny.
- RJ: You're always horny.
- BOBBY-LYNNE: No, not always.
It's perfect.
It's really gonna
add a lot of production value.
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY OVER VAN RADIO)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWS CAWING)
WAYNE: Y'all stay put
while I go
and handle business
right quick.
This wasn't I had in mind
when I agreed to help out
on your film.
Gotta start somewhere,
Lorraine.
RJ, it's smut.
When did you become
such a prude?
I'm not.
I just don't understand
why you're doing all this.
Because it is possible
to make a good dirty movie.
OLD MAN: Who's that?
Yes, sir. It's Wayne Galleroy.
We spoke on the telephone.
(DOOR OPENS)
WAYNE: Uh...
Howard, right?
HOWARD: You from the county?
This here's private property.
Didn't you see the signs
down at the end of the drive?
WAYNE: Oh, easy, partner.
- (BOBBY-LYNNE GIGGLING)
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
Somethin's wrong.
What'chu talkin' 'bout?
HOWARD: You're trespassing.
The law says I can shoot.
Sir, I ain't from the county.
I'm from Houston.
We spoke on Tuesday.
You remember?
About y'all's boarding house.
HOWARD: Oh, that's right.
You're looking
for a place to stay.
Well, you never can be
too careful with strangers.
You had me
pretty nervous there.
HOWARD: It ain't even loaded.
Most of the times,
just wavin' it around
is all it takes.
Oh, yes, sir.
I keep the same thing
in my glove box.
MAN 1: Wow,
that's one ugly sumbitch.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
What? (CHUCKLING)
He is.
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(VAN DOOR CLOSES)
WAYNE: Hell of a spread
you got here.
HOWARD: We like it. (COUGHS)
(HOWARD COUGHING AND WHEEZING)
WAYNE: You all right there,
old-timer?
HOWARD: I'm fine.
(HOWARD GRUNTS)
- She ain't much.
- She's gorgeous.
Building was for soldiers
during the Civil War.
They never saw
any action though.
What about you?
You serve?
Flat feet.
MAN 1: I did.
Two tours in South Vietnam.
Had enough farmers
tryin' to shoot me
for one lifetime.
Know what I mean, Pops?
Oorah.
(BOBBY-LYNNE GIGGLES)
Oh, careful, Howie.
Hot damn,
that's my future fiancee
you're eyeballin' there.
Been a while
since you seen
anythin' that nice?
I don't recall
you mentioning
you'd bringing
all these others.
Now, about that...
See, your ad said $30, but...
I threw in a little extra
to sweeten the deal.
I hope that's okay.
I don't think
I like you, Wayne.
In fact,
I don't much like the looks
of none of y'all.
Now, my wife is next door,
so I would appreciate
a little discretion.
I give you my word.
You won't even know
we're here.
(WAYNE SIGHS)
That was
some stellar negotiating.
You really do have
a knack for business.
You keep jawin', towhead,
I'll pull you off
the main stage for a month.
Oh, but then, honey,
you won't make
no money neither.
MAXINE: How could you
just stand there
and let him talk
about us like that?
WAYNE: Oh, calm down.
Ain't no need
to harsh the mellow.
It's harmless.
He's just old.
His pecker ain't
probably been hard
since before you were born.
I'd hate people
like us then, too.
He don't know
what we're doing, does he?
So, church mouse,
you do speak.
No.
He sure doesn't.
And I intend
to keep it that way.
Now, I don't wanna give
the old codger a heart attack.
Would you?
It's better to beg
for forgiveness
than ask for permission.
You know what I mean?
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
All right.
That's enough jabberin'.
I reckon it's about high time
we cut to the chase
and we give the people
what they wanna see.
What do you say?
Fucking finally!
(MOANS)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (MAN KISSING)
- (MOANING)
(GASPS)
(MOANING LOUDLY)
(BED CREAKING)
(BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING
AND GASPING LOUDLY)
Okay. Now...
Now flip her over.
BOBBY-LYNNE: Ooh!
- (BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING)
- (BED THUDDING)
(MAN MOANING)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Oh, yeah.
Fuck me.
- Yeah.
- MAN: Fuck.
That's great.
Just scooch your chin up
for me.
All right,
now slow it all down.
- I wanna see the passion.
- Hey, kid.
How about you just
point the camera
and stay in your lane.
Let me do the screwing here.
(BOBBY-LYNNE LAUGHING)
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Yeah!
Yes!
(MUFFLED BOBBY-LYNNE MOANING)
BOBBY-LYNNE:
Oh, my God.
(BOBBY-LYNNE
AND MAN CONTINUE MOANING)
(DISTANT CROW CAWING)
(WATER SLOSHING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRD CALLING)
WAYNE: (EXCITEDLY) Now,
I may not know shit from Shinola
when it comes to filmmaking,
but I know for damn sure
people are gonna
wanna see
what I just saw in there.
Well, that's
'cause I'm not treatin' it
like pornography,
but as cinema.
That's what these other
adult films are lackin'.
Whatever you're doin',
you keep doin' it.
People's eyes
are gonna pop out
of their damn skulls
when they see this.
We're gonna be rich.
Feel how hard my cock is.
(WAYNE EXHALES)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, sorry, baby.
(SCOFFING)
Don't be standing there
like you're all proud
of yourself.
I was born
for this line of work.
Uh. You didn't
do nothin', dummy.
It's called actin'.
You good,
but you ain't that good.
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Fuck my pussy.
Oh, you make me so wet.
Oh, my God, you're so big.
(STOPS MOANING)
Aw, don't look so glum.
You did just fine. Come here.
I think I love you.
Bless your heart.
(DISTANT BIRD SCREECHING)
(PANTING)
RJ: And action!
Sorry to bother you, ma'am,
but my van broke down
on the highway back yonder,
and I was hopin'
I could use y'all's phone
to call for help.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm afraid we don't own
a telephone,
but my daddy
will be home soon,
and I'm sure he could give you
a lift to town.
Would you like to come inside?
Much obliged.
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLOCK TICKING)
Hello?
Hello?
(FLIES BUZZING)
(WATER DRIPPING)
Lemonade?
(METAL CLANKS)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXHALES)
Sure is hot out there.
You must be awful thirsty.
(CHUCKLES) Yes, ma'am.
(SIPPING)
It's got a good taste.
(CLEARS THROAT)
I should probably
get back now.
My boyfriend gets real fussy
when he don't know
where I'm at, so...
(WHISPERING) Come with me
before Daddy gets home.
I was young once, too.
It was taken
right before the first war.
Believe it or not,
my Howard served in both.
He survived the trenches
and Omaha Beach.
There wasn't anything
he wouldn't do for me
back then.
That's the power of beauty.
I was a dancer
in those early years.
But then the war came, so...
Not everything in life
turns out how you expect.
Such a special face.
Beautiful.
Look.
I don't know
what's come over me.
I've never quite
felt like this before.
If Daddy catches us,
there's no telling
what he might do.
What are you doing?
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
You should go.
It will be our secret.
What will?
Shh.
(FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING)
(HOWARD GRUNTING SOFTLY)
WAYNE: Watch out!
I've been looking
everywhere for you!
MAXINE: Sorry.
The kid says
we're gonna lose the light!
Well, come on now,
chop-chop.
MAXINE: You're not good.
Bluff it.
(SNORTING)
You're a fucking sex symbol.
(SNIFFLES)
(SNIFFLES)
I will not accept a life
I do not deserve.
(INHALES AND EXHALES)
WAYNE: Are you ready?
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Let's go to work.
WAYNE: Coast is clear.
- RJ: Right...
- LORRAINE: Sound speed.
RJ: Okay, we're rollin'.
Farmer's Daughter, take one.
Action.
I'm looking
for the owner of this farm.
His daughter said I could
find him in here.
You must have been
talking to my sister.
Sister?
- She didn't mention you.
- Not surprised.
She's always been jealous.
I'm younger,
get all the attention.
Daddy never lets her
leave the farm anymore.
He's very protective.
MAN: Well, I was hopin'
he could give me a ride
back to town
before it got dark.
We shouldn't disturb him.
It would only make him angry.
You wouldn't like Daddy
when he's angry.
I could give you a ride.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAIR BRUSHING)
(GROOVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAXINE MOANING)
(MAN GRUNTING)
(CONTINUES MOANING)
(MUFFLED MAXINE MOANING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAXINE MOANING LOUDLY)
(TAPE STOPS ROLLING)
HOWARD: We talked about this.
OLD WOMAN: Howard?
Please.
You know I can't.
My heart...
(HOWARD GRUNTING)
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
They're gonna put me
in the movies
They're gonna make
a big star out of me
They'll make
a film about a girl
Who's sad and lonely
And all I gotta do
is act naturally
You were amazing out there.
Now I know why Wayne
left his wife for you.
(SCOFFS) So do I.
Careful.
WAYNE: Told y'all
she was somethin' special.
X factor.
Thanks, baby.
MAXINE: What are you
looking at?
WAYNE: Wait, come on now.
No, Wayne.
Anybody ever teach you
not to stare?
It's rude.
You got somethin' to say to me
or what?
No.
LORRAINE: Well,
I do have a question.
WAYNE: See,
she's interested, is all.
What's on your mind,
church mouse?
Isn't it strange
watching her doin' it
with him?
It's just business.
As long as the camera
is runnin'.
LORRAINE: So the camera
changes things?
That's right.
RJ: It's not real life, Raine.
It's just a movie.
I know that.
Just sayin'.
What about love?
What about love?
Well, don't y'all
believe in it?
Of course we believe in love.
How can you love someone
and still be
with other people?
You think we don't have
no morals or somethin',
is that it?
No. No, I just...
Take it from me,
letting outdated traditions
control how you live your
life will get you nowhere.
I don't know about you,
but I got
better places to be
than where I came from.
Amen to that.
MAXINE: And besides,
it's just sex.
You can decide
who you wanna love,
but not who you wanna screw.
Attraction's
out of our control.
It ain't healthy keeping those
feelings locked away inside.
I seen you sneaking
a few long peeks
at Jackson over here.
- No, I... I wasn't looking...
- BOBBY-LYNNE: It's okay.
He don't mind none.
She's right.
I don't mind.
No offense.
BOBBY-LYNNE:
Everybody likes sex.
It's a gas.
We're just not afraid
to admit it.
Queer, straight,
Black, white...
(SCOFFS) It's all disco.
You know why?
Because one day,
we're gonna be too old
to fuck.
And life's too short,
if you ask me.
Roger that.
BOBBY-LYNNE: The fact
of the truth of the matter is,
we turn folks on.
- And that scares 'em.
- They can't look away neither.
That's right.
- We're like a foxy car wreck.
- (WAYNE CHUCKLES)
WAYNE: Which is how I know
that this new home video
market is set to explode.
Finally, people are gonna
get to see what they desire
in the privacy of their
own homes, free of judgment.
We're gonna give that to them
before anyone else.
Porn ain't only gonna be
- for perverts no more.
- BOBBY-LYNNE: Aw.
Toast to the perverts.
They've been payin'
our bills for years.
Hear, hear!
To the perverts!
To livin' a life
of excess,
being young and having fun
till the day we die.
To the power
of independent cinema.
To living life
on our own terms.
And never accepting what
self-righteous naysayers
have to say.
WAYNE: Right on.
I don't know
if I agree with all of that,
but I did like
what I saw today.
I didn't think I would,
but I did.
WAYNE: Cheers to that.
- JACKSON: You ready?
- Yeah.
(PLAYING MELLOW TUNE)
(SINGING) I took my love
I took it down
I climbed a mountain
and I turned around
And I saw my reflection
In the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide
brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart
rise above?
Can I sail
Through the changin'
ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons
Of my life?
(BOBBY-LYNNE HUMMING TUNE)
Well, I've been afraid
Of changin'
'Cause I built my life
Around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm gettin' older too
(BOBBY-LYNNE HUMMING TUNE)
I wanna do a scene
in the movie.
What?
I wanna be in the movie.
No.
Well, why not?
(SCOFFING) Well...
Because...
No.
Did y'all put her up to this
or somethin'?
- BOBBY-LYNNE: No!
- Hey!
Take it easy.
They didn't do nothin'.
LORRAINE: Nobody put me up
to anything.
I've been thinking
about it all day.
And...
Well, I'm young.
And if we really are makin'
a good dirty movie,
then I don't wanna
just carry the equipment.
I wanna be in it.
Well, you can't.
Says who?
It's my film, Lorraine.
I mean,
it wouldn't make any sense.
We've already shot half of it.
The story can't just suddenly
change midway through.
Why?
Because it just isn't done.
What about in Psycho?
You love that movie.
Well, Psycho is a horror film.
And that plot was a MacGuffin
to build suspense.
And I'm not making
that kind of movie.
LORRAINE: Oh, come on, RJ.
Nobody's comin'
to see this film for the plot.
They're comin'
to see tits and ass.
- And a big dick.
- Lorraine!
- (ALL SNICKERING)
- It's the truth.
Why not just give the people
what they're payin' for?
Because I'm making
something better than that.
When did you become
such a prude?
WAYNE: All right, hold on.
I am the executive producer,
which means I get a word.
So, why don't we just
take a step outside
before anythin' gets said
that someone might regret.
You gotta back me up
in here, Wayne!
I mean,
this situation is fixin'
to get outta control.
It is awfully close.
Relax.
Hey, what is it they say,
"Life imitates art"?
It's the other way around.
Whatever, it don't matter.
But you need
to listen to me, okay?
Because you ain't been 42,
and I have been 23.
And I'm gonna explain
somethin' to you
about young women.
Now, if she's serious,
which I suspect she is,
she's gonna do it
whether you like it or not.
Now, you try to stop her,
not only is she gonna do it,
she's gonna go on and do it
with God knows how many people
in God knows
how many other films,
and nobody wants that.
The way I see it,
you only got
one good option here.
What, letting her get balled
by some man whore?
Come on now,
Jackson is a professional.
He ain't got no diseases
or nothin'.
You just want more sex
in the movie.
That ain't me, hoss.
She wants it, you heard her.
Heck, if she does great,
she gets famous,
maybe she'll take you with her.
Wayne, you don't get it.
Lorraine is not
like the others in there.
She is a nice girl.
I beg your pardon?
No, I didn't mean it
like that.
Oh, I hate to be the one
to tell you this,
but ain't none of them
nice girls.
(DISTORTED GROOVE
MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(WATER RUNNING)
(SOBBING SOFTLY)
(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)
To hell with this.
She can have it.
Let's see how far they get
without me.
- (ENGINE STARTING)
- Good luck finding
your own way out of here.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
What the...
Ma'am?
Are you all right?
Sorry, I'm...
(OLD WOMAN MOANS)
Ma'am?
(OLD WOMAN MOANS)
(HESITATING)
What?
How come you just did that?
Why won't you look at me?
Look at me
like you looked at her.
What?
I can show you
what I'm capable of.
Stop. I don't
wanna see it.
Maybe we should just go
find your husband.
(GRUNTS)
(CHOKING AND GASPING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER VAN RADIO)
(CONTINUES CHOKING
AND GASPING)
Help me.
(CONTINUES CHOKING
AND GASPING)
(COUGHING AND GURGLING)
(OLD WOMAN GRUNTING ANGRILY)
(CONTINUES GRUNTING ANGRILY)
(WAILING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oui, oui, Marie
If you'll do this for me
Then I'll do that for you
Oui, oui, Marie
(OVER VAN RADIO) Come on,
baby Don't fear the reaper
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES
PLAYING OVER RADIO)
(DOOR OPENS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
RJ?
RJ?
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
- (GASPING)
- Hey, hey, hey.
What's goin' on,
church mouse?
(BREATHING HEAVILY) It's RJ.
I woke up, and he was gone.
I...
You don't think he left me,
do you?
Well, the van's still here.
He's gotta be around
somewhere.
Oh, hey, it ain't
like your dog ran off.
He's probably just
processin' things, you know?
Go on back to bed.
I feel bad if I hurt him.
I don't wanna break up.
Hun, you didn't
do nothin' wrong.
He'll get over it.
He just needs
to toughen up, is all.
Come on. I'll talk to him
in the morning.
LORRAINE: Will you
help me find him?
(EXHALES)
Please? I'm worried.
All right.
I ain't gettin' in the middle
of no more of this shit.
WAYNE: (WHISPERING) RJ!
Are you in here, brother?
This ain't the way
to go about handlin' this.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (SOFTLY) Oh, no.
(HESITATES)
I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
HOWARD: What are you
doin' out here?
I'm lookin' for my boyfriend.
HOWARD: Have you seen
my wife?
No, sir.
WAYNE: Two keys to keepin'
a healthy relationship.
Never let a good woman
out of your sight.
Never mention her weight.
How do you think
I've been surrounded
by so many beautiful females
my whole life?
There's an art to it.
Just like business.
- (YELLS)
- (COW MOOS)
- Fuck! Son of a bitch!
- (COWS MOOING)
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
Oh, fuck me!
(COWS MOOING LOUDLY)
Oh, shut up, cheeseburger!
Go wander into traffic.
(GROANING) Oh, fuck.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
RJ, you in here?
I stepped on a nail.
Come on out and help me,
for Christ's sake!
I'm gonna catch tetanus
from this shit.
(GROANS)
RJ?
Church mouse, that you?
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
HOWARD: There's another light
down in the cellar.
Can you go get it?
Please. My wife is not well.
It's very dark,
and I'm worried she could fall
and break her hip.
(DOOR OPENS)
HOWARD: Downstairs.
You'll see my workbench.
(FOOTSTEPS RUSTLING)
(LORRAINE SIGHS)
Found it!
Hey, I'm locked in!
Hey!
(DOOR RATTLING)
Hey! Hey! Open up!
(PANTING)
(SCREAMING)
(CRYING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
What is it, baby?
Thought I heard somethin'.
Probably nothin'.
Old habits die hard.
Go back to sleep.
Aye, aye, captain.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
Everything okay, Pops?
My wife, she's gone missing.
Missin'?
She gets confused.
It happens sometimes
after dark.
Lot of firepower
for a missin' wife.
It's for gators.
I found her once
by the edge of our pond.
If she was to fall in...
Want some help?
Not for self
but for country, right?
Let me go and get my skivvies.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
JACKSON: I say we each
take a side of the perimeter.
Cover ground quicker that way.
HOWARD: I only got
the one light.
No offense,
but it's been a while
since you was deployed.
I spent three nights face down
in a rice paddy
scanning for land mines
and trip wires.
Once a marine,
always a marine.
If she's out here...
I'll find her.
(HAUNTING MUSIC CONTINUES)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I got nothin', Pops.
Shit.
What you doing
all the way in there?
Oh, no.
Pops, you okay?
You in here?
(BANGING)
LORRAINE: (CRYING) Help!
Help, somebody, please!
Please help me!
RJ!
Help!
(LORRAINE SOBBING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SOBBING AND PANTING)
Oh, shit!
(PANTING) You scared me, Pops.
Once a marine,
always a marine.
Well...
Your lady ain't in there.
I can't give her
what she wants anymore.
You don't understand
what it's like.
You can still do
as you please.
Say what?
The last bohemian
that stayed here was the same.
Traipsin' around
in barely any clothes.
Enticin' my wife.
Yeah...
Okay, well,
we better get back up
to the house
and find out what's goin' on.
I know exactly
what's goin' on.
- (FIRES GUN)
- (WATER SPLASHES)
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(SCREAMING)
- (GASPS)
- (MAXINE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(BOBBY-LYNNE GASPING)
- (MAXINE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
- Maxine?
That woman was in my bed
touching me!
(CRYING AND SCREAMING)
HOWARD: You're just
makin' things worse.
Help me!
Somebody! Please!
Nobody is comin' for ya.
Get back down in that cellar
and be quiet!
(SOBBING)
- Shut up!
- Help!
- Hey! Somebody, please!
- Kidnappers, murderers,
sex fiends,
lurkin' where
we least expect...
LORRAINE: Help!
- Somebody, help!
- ...in good Christian homes,
right under our very noses!
(SNORTING)
(EXHALES)
(SNIFFLING AND SIGHING)
BOBBY-LYNNE: Jackson?
Wayne?
Where are y'all?
(SIGHS)
Oh, my goodness.
Ma'am?
Ma'am? Be careful!
Step away from the edge,
it's dangerous.
- (OLD WOMAN MOANS)
- It's all right. Here, here.
You're safe now, okay?
Are you hurt?
I don't see anything.
My nana gets confused
sometimes as well.
I learned all about it.
Believe it or not,
I've even thought
about becomin' a nurse
one day.
So...
Okay. Why don't you
come with...
Oh!
What the hell
did you do that for?
I don't need a nurse.
Why should you get
to have it all?
What have you ever done
except be a whore?
Okay, you know what?
You don't want my help?
No problem.
I was just tryin' to be nice.
You don't deserve
to be able to just flaunt it
in my face like you do.
It ain't my fault you didn't
live the life you wanted.
Now move
out of the way, please.
Move! You mean old ugly b...
Bitch.
(SCREAMING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING STOPS)
Was that the one?
You know I don't like blondes.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
Disgustin'.
Lorraine?
RJ?
(HOWARD WHEEZING)
HOWARD: Uh, place is empty.
What about
that other fella, Wayne?
In the barn.
Stuck like the pig he was.
Well, that's three down.
Four.
And I got another
kept up at the house for you.
I don't want her.
This one was different.
She had something special.
Like I did.
Sick and tired of never
gettin' what I want.
You know I want to give it
to you, Pearl.
But I'm tired, too.
I know.
(SIGHING)
Tell me I'm special.
Of course you are.
I've felt that way
since the first moment we met.
You were the most
beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
Oh, not anymore.
Always.
Tell me I'm yours.
That you still want me.
Make me feel young again.
What if my heart
can't take it?
It can.
(HOWARD AND PEARL KISSING)
(PEARL MOANING)
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
(HOWARD GASPS)
(BED CREAKING)
(PEARL MOANING)
- PEARL: Fuck me, Howard.
- (HOWARD GRUNTS LOUDLY)
PEARL: Fuck me.
(PEARL MOANING LOUDLY)
Fuck me.
(MAXINE PANTING)
LORRAINE: (SCREAMING
AND CRYING) Help!
Help!
Somebody, help me, please!
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(PANTING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING
ON TV CONTINUES)
(CRYING) Let me out of here!
Keep your voice down.
Don't tell me
to be quiet!
I was locked in a dungeon
down there!
These old people
are fucking crazy!
I have to get
out of this house
before they kill me, too.
We need to find the keys
to their truck.
I never should have
listened to you.
This is all your fault!
Lorraine, we need
to stick together.
I hate you!
I hate you all so much!
Lorraine!
(GUN FIRES)
HOWARD: I told her to stay
in the damn cellar!
PEARL: That's all right.
We don't need her anymore.
We got each other again.
HOWARD: Help me
drag the body inside.
If she's in the house,
that's self-defense.
- That's the law.
- (PANTING)
PEARL: You don't
really believe
anyone's gonna come
looking for 'em, do you?
HOWARD: We ain't
gonna risk it.
We need
to play this smart, Pearl.
No sense in making a mess now.
If nobody shows up
by tomorrow,
we'll take the body
and we'll dump her
in the pond with the others.
Which reminds me,
we're gonna need
to get Wayne outta the barn
- and sink him, too.
- (BREATH TREMBLING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING
OVER TV CONTINUES)
She's heavier than she looks.
- (GURGLES)
- (GASPS)
PEARL: Howard. Howard!
Howard?
Howard?
Howard!
Where are the keys
to the truck?
- He's having a heart attack.
- I don't give a shit!
- Where are the fucking keys?
- Well, now...
- PEARL: In the kitchen...
- ...here we all are...
- ...under the lamp.
- ...together.
PEARL: Howard?
We have reached a crossroad.
With salvation...
- Howard?
- ...or damnation?
You're gonna rot when people
find out what you've done.
EVANGELIST: (OVER TV)
The time is now.
- What I have done?
- For if we do not take control
- of our own fate, the Lord...
- What about you?
...shall do it for us.
You don't think I know
who you really are?
I saw what you did
in the barn.
You're a deviant little whore.
We're the same.
You'll end up just like me.
Time to turn our backs on sin
and make the commitment...
I'm nothin' like you.
...once and for all.
You're a kidnappin',
murderin' sex fiend.
I'm a fucking star!
The whole world
is gonna know my name.
EVANGELIST: I want
to hear you all.
Say it with me now.
I will not accept a life
- I do not deserve.
- I will not accept a life
I do not deserve.
Hallelujah!
(APPLAUSE ON TV)
Stop fuckin' starin' at me!
(GUN CLICKS)
(GUN CLICKING)
(INDISTINCT SINGING ON TV)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Now, that's what I call
divine intervention!
The Lord smiles on those who
accept Him. Praise his name!
Glory be to Jesus!
PEARL: My hip... (GASPING)
Help.
Shh!
PEARL: You whore!
You're not innocent!
- You're not special!
- (ENGINE STARTS)
It'll all be taken from you!
Just like it was from me!
I'll tell everyone
- what you are!
- (ENGINE REVS)
(SCREAMS)
It'll be our secret.
Divine intervention.
(SNIFFING)
Praise the fuckin' Lord.
EVANGELIST: I hope that,
through my own admission,
others may find the light.
I wanna show y'all somethin'.
Get a shot of this.
There she is.
My beautiful
little daughter Maxine.
Lured into a life of sin
by the very deviants
we warn of here
on a daily basis.
From our lovin' home
into the hands of devils.
We pray, one day,
she'll find her way home
to us.
CONGREGATION: Amen.
EVANGELIST:
Bless you, bless you.
(CROW CAWING)
OFFICER 1: What do you reckon
happened, Sheriff?
How the hell
should I know?
OFFICER 2: Hey, boss.
One of the boys
found this inside.
What do you think is on it?
Well, by the looks
of everythin'...
I'd say one goddamn fucked up
horror picture.