Yes, God, Yes (2019) Movie Script
1
As for the faithless
and the sexually immoral -
their portion will be in the lake
that burns with fire and sulfur,
which is the second death.
- Revelation 21:8
[birds chirping]
tossed salad
noun
A salad made of greens, often with added
vegetables, tossed in a dressing.
Salad tossing
verb
A sex act involving the mouth
and the buttocks.
Have you been to Jesus
For his cleansing power?
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
Are you fully trusting
in his grace this hour?
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
Mark, I see belt loops
and no belt.
Are you washed
in the blood?
In the soul-cleansing blood
of the Lamb?
[Mrs. Veda]
Oh, oh, oh... No.
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
[sighs]
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Miss O'Donnell.
Just as I suspected:
over two-and-a-half inches
above the knee.
Dean's Office. Now!
- Morning, Mrs. Veda.
- Alice.
School mass today at 2:00.
Why don't you be
gift bearer again?
Sure.
Hmm.
OK, it's like this,
guys are like microwave ovens.
And ladies are like
conventional ovens.
Guys only need a few seconds,
you know, like a microwave,
to get...
switched on.
While ladies,
they typically need to...
preheat for a while.
But God created sex
with boundaries
and for a purpose.
Does anyone wanna take a stab
at what the boundary is?
Yes, Wade?
- Marriage.
- Very good.
And does anybody
know the purpose?
- To have children.
- [Father Murphy] Perfecto.
When a man and a woman receive
the sacrament of matrimony,
God calls on them to create
children in his image.
Any sex outside of one man,
one woman, one marriage
is against God's plan.
Um, what about sex
with yourself?
[students laugh]
Can you create children
from sex with yourself?
- No.
- [Father Murphy] Right, so?
- [Heather] It's against God's plan.
- [Father Murphy] Exactly.
[male student] So, is that what the
Bible means by "spilling your seed"?
- Is it spilling if you catch it?
- [students laugh]
[Father Murphy]
All right, all right.
We are called on to be chaste
until we are married.
And that means no sex...
with yourself or anyone else...
until you stand at that altar
and you say "I do"
or else it is damnation
for all eternity.
And remember...
God is always watching.
Capiche?
They gave us Baby Think-It-Over
in Christian Lifestyles.
I'm not even having sex, they should
just give them to the slutty girls.
Oh, have you had to watch the
partial-birth abortion video yet?
- It's really awful.
- No, no! Don't ruin it for me.
How was Morality?
It was fine.
Did you know that masturbating
is a sin?
Ew. Of course. Why?
I was just wondering.
Making me rewind Titanic
back to the car scene twice
is probably also a sin,
just in case you were wondering
that next.
Look, I only
asked you to do that
because I couldn't hear
what Kate whispered to Leo
- when he said, "Where to, Miss?"
- Mm-hmm.
Which just happens to be
right before they make out
and steam up that car window
that Kate slaps her hand on.
I didn't write it!
[dog barking]
Hey! Hi, Gus.
[clicking tongue]
Sit, Gus.
Sit.
[modem dialing up]
[computer voice]
Welcome!
OK. Here we go!
[sighs]
Damn it!
[sighs]
Titanic!
[typing]
Yes!
[computer voice]
You've got mail.
[gasps]
Mom?
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[sighs]
[scanner whirring]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
Wet?
[chimes]
Uh...
[smacks lips]
Underwear?
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
Ohh.
[chimes]
What?
[Mom]
Alice!
Dinner!
- [Priest] I confess to almighty God...
- Almighty God...
[all] and to you,
my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned
through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what
I have failed to do...
[Dad] The Millers invited us
over to watch the game.
Great, I'll make
my cheesy potatoes.
Oh, Damn it, Ron.
Now I'm all wet!
[sighs]
Calm down, Gail,
you're not that wet.
[water running]
- [music playing]
- [horn honks]
So, uh, Alice, I heard
you got on Wade Friday night.
Stephanie told me she walked in
on you guys in my sauna.
[Anthony] Ooh!
Gettin' steamy in the sauna!
No, we were just back there
getting some drinks.
We were only gone
for like a minute!
Yeah, that's long enough
for Wade.
[grunts] I was just messin'.
Listen.
You don't have to put out
just because you like a boy.
I don't like him.
[Father Murphy] And now, for the Bible
passages that back all this up...
We're gonna start
with Galatians.
Heather, why don't you
start us off?
[Heather] The acts of the flesh
are obvious:
sexual immorality,
impurity, debauchery...
OK, so, I just bought
this Blink 182 CD
from Sam Goody, right?
Um, I upload them to my computer
and then I just put 'em
on here.
Easy as pie.
The album's amazing, by the way.
It's called
Enema of the State.
- Get it?
- [laughs]
I bet you know all about enemas,
don't you?
Can you not talk about enemas
near my baby, please?
Yeah, I'm gonna...
Thank you.
Such a perv.
What's an enema?
It's when you fall water skiing
and water shoots up your butt.
Well, look who it is.
Where were you this weekend?
You didn't come to my party.
Yeah, I heard things
got pretty crazy.
Everyone's been talking
about you and Wade.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
They're saying
you tossed his salad.
- What?
- Gross!
You tossed his salad
in my sauna?
What? No! No!
Who, who said that?
Some girl in my Geometry class
was telling a bunch of us.
Heather's really pissed too.
She just gave Wade
a promise bracelet.
OK. [chuckles]
I mean, I've never even heard of
dressing someone's salad! So...
The party was really fun.
Why didn't you come?
I was on a retreat.
[Laura]
Oh! Like a spa?
No, a retreat ran by the school.
It's called Kirkos and I got
this necklace on it. See?
Cool. What'd you do there?
We're not allowed to talk about
it with anyone who hasn't been.
But it totally changed my life.
Coming, Beth?
Yeah. I gotta go.
You guys should sign up
for the next one.
I think it'd be good for you.
Since when does Beth eat lunch
with Nina and those girls?
I have to go on that retreat.
Do you think she thinks
that I actually
tasted Wade's salad or whatever?
I don't know.
Beth's such a moron.
I never have any clue
what's she's talking about
so she probably made it up.
[laughing]
I'm gonna go get more milk.
[laughter continues]
Oh. Hey, Heather. Hey, Wade.
Can't have pudding without milk!
She's disgusting.
[church music playing]
I think I'm going to ask Heather
to bear the gifts
with Jacob today.
[snaps fingers]
[sighs]
Alice, if you want to continue
to be a gift bearer,
you have to conduct yourself
like one.
Your body is a gift from God.
You need to honor it.
[indistinct chatter]
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Um, bless me Father
for I have sinned.
It has been a week
since my last confession.
These are my sins...
Talking back to my dad...
Not helping my mom
in the kitchen...
Forgetting to feed the dog...
And...
And anything else?
That's it.
For penance,
why don't you do
the dishes for a week?
Give your mom a break.
And ten Hail Marys
and ten Our Fathers.
God, the Father of mercies,
through the death
and resurrection of his Son,
has reconciled
the world to itself
and sent the Holy Spirit
among us
for the forgiveness of sins...
Give us this day
our daily bread,
and forgive us
of our trespasses,
as we forgive those that
trespass against us...
[Mrs. Veda]
Your body is a gift from God.
[Heather]
It's against God's plan.
[Mrs. Vega]
You need to honor it.
[Father Murphy] Or else it is
damnation for all eternity.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in Heaven.
[Beth]
It's called Kirkos.
I think it'd be good for you.
[birds chirping]
[indistinct chatter]
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Sister help
to trim the sails
Hallelujah
Sister help
to trim the sails
Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Are we there?
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
I can't do this.
[Laura] These few days away
are going to be good for us.
[Alice]
I don't know.
Ugh!
Father looks so weird
in regular people clothes.
[gasps] Oh, my God! Nina's here!
She must be one
of the group leaders.
Welcome, everyone.
Who's that?
Are you serious?
That's Chris.
He's only like the star
of the football team.
Welcome to Kirkos.
So, uh, you're gonna be
bunking in my cabin this week.
Oh, oh, oh
My body's sayin' let's go
Oh, oh, oh
But my heart is sayin' no
If you wanna be with me
Baby,
there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me
the right way
[Nina]
Hi! Alice, right?
- Yeah.
- Welcome.
I'm Nina. Come with me.
You're in my cabin. Come on.
Sorry.
Question the First
[Nina]
I'm so excited for you guys.
OK. Find the room
with your name on the door.
- [knock at door]
- Oh, sorry!
I didn't mean to scare you!
You settling in?
I've got a sweatshirt
here for you.
Thanks.
And... next order
of beeswax is...
I'm gonna need
your cell phone and/or watch,
if you have 'em.
Did you bring either one
of those with you?
Mm-hmm.
No phone?
- Mm-mm.
- K.
Don't worry,
you won't be needing
a watch this weekend anyway
because...
you're on Jesus' time!
See ya!
[indistinct chatter]
[Mrs. Veda] Please find
your small group number!
Cut the chit-chat, please,
and have a seat.
Sit at the table
with your small group number.
Please find
your small group number.
[sighs]
- I guess I'll see you later.
- What?
Group One?
Awesome!
I'm Chris,
Group One's Senior Leader.
Have a seat.
Group One too?
Awesome! Have a seat.
You are here
as a part of God's plan.
His spirit moved each of you
to sign up for this retreat,
which is a unique experience
that will challenge you
in new and profound ways.
Kirkos is a time
to find meaning
in the highs and lows
of your life.
Over these next four days
you will hear
from your classmates
and be invited
to open up as well.
It will strengthen your
relationship with yourself,
but most importantly,
with Jesus.
Now let's get started.
On the papers
that Mrs. Veda is handing out,
you're going to find
a list of feelings.
Go through them
and circle any
that you may have felt
in the past year or so.
There are no wrong answers.
So just, just be honest.
[Father Murphy] While ladies,
they typically need to...
preheat for a while.
[Father Murphy]
OK. Let's finish up.
Pass your papers
toward the aisles.
And make sure that your name
is printed clearly on top.
Come on.
The other night I dreamt
that I was walking
along the beach with the Lord.
As we walked,
scenes from my life
flashed across the sky
and in each scene,
I noticed that there were
footprints in the sand.
In some scenes there were
two sets of footprints
and in other scenes there was
only one set of footprints.
[indistinct chatter]
Hey.
Oh. Hey.
- Hey, Sister Louise.
- Hi.
Do you mind if I snag another
stupendous Walking Taco?
[Sister Louise] Of course, dear.
You're a growing boy!
And Walking Tacos have lots
of protein and fiber.
Oh, may I have some sour cream
too, please?
- [Sister Louise] Oh, yes.
- [Chris] Thank you.
You're welcome.
What about you, dear?
- Oh, no, no thanks.
- [Sister Louise] No?
No sour cream?
No, that is the best part.
OK.
- I guess I'll have some.
- [chuckles]
How's everything going for you
so far, Alice?
It's great.
You know, it's OK if you think
things are totally weird.
It's supposed to be
a little weird.
At least at first.
[chuckles]
I'll see you later, Alice.
OK, bye!
I come from a very big family.
I have four younger siblings
and...
an older sister...
Melissa.
She made honor roll
every semester
and she founded
Habitat for Humanity
at our school.
She's the star of our family.
One time,
I came home at 2:00 a.m....
three hours past my curfew.
And no one even noticed.
It felt like no one cared
if I was there or not.
Um...
Uh...
I'd now like to play
my first song.
[music playing]
You don't notice me
standing here
Wishing you
could somehow feel
I just wish
that you could feel
Last fall,
Melissa came to pick me up
from a friend's house
to take me home.
And each day we were born
And the next thing I remember
is waking up in the hospital
being told that
we were in an accident
and that I had
three broken ribs...
[sobbing]
And the first thought
I had was...
[sobbing]
Maybe my parents will finally
start to notice me.
[sobbing]
Melissa was fine but...
my parents
were still obsessed with her.
It felt like
they blamed me for the accident.
That if she hadn't
had to come and pick me up,
she wouldn't have missed
her Science Bowl nationals.
But then,
I came on to this retreat...
[sniffles]
And I realized
that God loves me...
my friends love me...
and...
[chuckles]
I love me too.
[chuckles]
[crickets chirping]
[sighs]
[beeping]
[chiming loudly]
[beeping]
[vibrates]
[vibrates]
[vibrates]
[moans]
- [vibrating]
- [moaning]
[sighs]
Weep the Second
[indistinct chatter]
OK, guys, circle up, circle up.
Now, this is one
of my favorite songs,
and while you're listening,
I want you to imagine
that the eyes in the song
are Jesus's eyes.
[music playing]
Love
I get so lost sometimes
Days pass
And this emptiness
fills my heart
When I want to run away
[indistinct chatter]
Would you look at how
these gorgeous pines
contrast against the blue sky?!
Isn't God's paint palette
just magnificent?
[Laura] So did I tell you Nina
told me she liked my hair
- this morning at breakfast?
- Mm-hmm.
She said she can't do it
with her own hair
because every time she tries it
her hair gets all bumpy.
So I said I could
show her how I do it
and she said she would
invite me over sometime!
Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
[gasps]
I mean, you can come too,
of course, if you want.
Well, maybe I should
ask Nina first
if it's OK that you're there,
but I mean
do you even wanna come?
- Whoa!
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
Are you OK?
[groans]
Everything OK here, troops?
Ooh, comrade.
That's quite a battle wound.
Uh-huh.
Can you walk?
- [groans] No. No. No.
- OK. Just don't move.
[grunts]
Let's get you to the nurse, huh?
[indistinct chatter]
[knock at door]
[door opens]
Hey.
I was just coming to let you
know we're doing the group photo
down by the bridge in five.
Great. I'll be there.
Everything OK in here?
Yep.
OK.
[phone vibrates]
What was that?
[phone vibrates]
- [sighs]
- [phone vibrates]
I specifically asked you
for your phone
on the day you arrived.
Look, I'm gonna have
to tell Father about this.
[sighs]
Uh, Chris,
could you come in, please?
Hey, Alice,
what'd you have for breakfast?
Cereal.
Oh, you didn't have salad?
[male student]
Like a Wade salad.
[laughing]
OK. Everybody say Jesus Christ!
[all]
Jesus Christ!
- [camera shutter clicks]
- OK, great!
Guys, head up
toward the cafeteria.
We're gonna have lunch
in our small groups today, OK?
And Alice, Alice, a quick word.
Nina said you kept your phone.
You know, we have a reason
for everything
that we ask you to do here
and it's very important
that you follow our rules.
Sorry, Father.
I hope you understand I can't
let this go unpunished.
Now first, you must empty
the trash receptacles.
There are four of them.
One there... and one there...
and one there...
[grunts]
Come on. [grunts]
[grunts]
[exhales deeply]
[typing]
What?
[computer chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[sighs]
[footsteps approaching]
[Nina]
Alice!
- Hey.
- What's up?
Just finished cleaning.
We made S'mores after lunch.
Saved you one.
Thanks.
We pretended each marshmallow
was a different mortal sin
before burning it.
Yours was lust.
Oh.
Look, I want you to know
I'm not mad
about the phone thing, OK?
You're doing a real good job
and I think
you're on the right path now.
So, just keep up
the good work, OK?
OK.
I believe in you.
[chuckles]
[crickets chirping]
"Dear Andrew...
Remember when you were little
and Mom and I would tuck you in,
and you would make us kiss you
on both of your cheeks
at exactly the same time
or else
you couldn't fall asleep?
I always thought those
were my favorite memories
from when
we were a young family.
But I was wrong.
Every day is a new
favorite memory with you.
I love you, kiddo.
Love, Dad."
[clears throat]
"Dear Laura...
Your father and I
love you so much.
And although
I will always cherish
those days
when you were little,
I love being able to do
adult things with you too...
like getting our nails done
and showing you how to cook
my famous baked ziti.
But no matter what,
you'll always be my baby girl.
I love you so much."
"Dear Alice,
You're a wonderful daughter
and the best church partner
a father could ask for.
It's so amazing
to watch you grow
into the wholesome young woman
God created you to be.
I am so proud of you
for always making good choices.
Love you, Al.
Love, Dad."
Accept the Third
[Chris]
Amen.
[all]
Amen.
[sighs] All right.
Like myself
and my fellow senior leaders
have done,
we are now gonna ask
that you all share
your own stories.
Moments when life
was difficult,
or hard, or overwhelming.
Times where you felt
Jesus was far away.
My girlfriend
dumped me last week.
That was really rough.
I thought everything
was going well,
and last week,
she had her friend call me
to break up with me for her.
And I'm pretty sure
it was a three-way call,
and she was listening,
so I acted like it was cool,
but it really sucked.
Thank you, Andrew.
[deep breath]
This is really hard
to talk about.
But...
Last month...
my Grandma died.
She lived in Idaho,
so I didn't see her that often.
And like,
it makes me really sad
that we didn't get to talk much
before she died.
The saddest part is...
after her funeral,
we went back to her house,
and her dog was there,
just looking so sad.
It was, like,
walking around the house
looking for her.
It had no idea.
OK...
Um...
Well...
Speaking of dogs...
My dog... Gus...
died a few weeks ago.
Um, our neighbors put out
some chipmunk poison.
He must have got into it
through the chain-link fence.
My family was playing basketball
in our driveway,
and the ball
went over the fence,
and I went to go get it,
and... that's where
I found him...
lying on his side.
He wasn't moving.
[crying, sniffling]
- I thought he was just...
- [Father Murphy] Excuse me.
All right, can I have
your attention, please?
All eyes and ears here.
I'm sorry to report
that earlier this morning,
I found something
rather disturbing
on my office computer.
It appears that someone
has used it
to engage
in an online chat of...
well, let's just say
an explicit nature.
Would anyone like to take
responsibility for this?
[quiet murmuring]
I didn't think so.
Now, I have no way
of knowing who did this,
but whoever it was,
even if I don't know you did it,
you do, and so does God.
But in keeping with the theme
of this retreat,
I hope that whomever did do it
feels compelled
by the Spirit of Christ
to come forward
before the retreat is through.
[murmuring]
So, Alice,
how would you describe
your relationship with Jesus?
- Fine.
- Just fine?
Fine, as in good.
Do you think that there might
be something getting in the way?
Something that's preventing it
from being better?
OK, well, why don't you try
reflecting back
on that feelings checklist
you filled out
on your first day here.
Do any of the emotions
that you circled on there
bring anything up?
Um...
I was feeling envious
of my best friend
when she got a Bimmer
for her birthday,
because I drive
a Buick Le Sabre.
Anything else?
She also got Oakley sunglasses
for Christmas.
What about feeling turned on?
No temptation
has overtaken you
except what is common
to mankind.
And God will not let you
be tempted
beyond what you can bear,
and he knows
what is truly in your heart.
OK.
So, have you ever
felt turned on?
And did you take any action
when you had that feeling?
You didn't take any action?
No.
Nothing with
your classmate Wade?
No.
Someone made that up.
Alice, this retreat
isn't gonna do you any favors
if you're not honest.
How's this?
Wow! That one's huge.
Way to go, Alice.
Thanks.
[sighs]
And when you turn it on,
our plasma rises
out of this little Oak unit.
But when you press off,
it sinks back down
and a Rothko takes its place.
Your rec room sounds amazing!
Hey, Nina, that, um...
leader meeting
is about to start.
Right, right.
I forgot about that.
Thank you. Um, I gotta go.
OK. I'll see you
at the campfire.
Hey!
What?
[sighs]
What is your problem with me?
My problem? My problem is
that Heather almost dumped me
because of that disgusting rumor
you started.
I didn't start it!
Yeah, well,
if you didn't, who did?
I don't know! I...
Did you start it?
No! I have a girlfriend.
OK. Well,
both you and I know
that nothing happened.
Are you telling people that?
You need to start!
Because everyone thinks
that I'm a slut,
even the teachers.
Look, you're
the only other person
who knows what happened.
And no one believes me!
Hey, Wade! What are you
still doing here?
Just on my way out, Father.
OK, good, good.
Hey, how's the old shotput arm
- doing in the off season?
- [Wade] Good, Father.
Just trying not to do
too much heavy lifting.
[chuckles]
[music playing through radio]
Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find
What will I find?
Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find
What will I find?
[music intensifies]
Yeah
Yeah
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
- [music lessens in intensity]
- Oh
[Sister Louise coughs]
I need a cup of tea.
I'm all done.
OK, dear.
[girl]
It is the best.
...and the colorful,
like, floral tops.
- The stripes, the stripes!
- Hey!
It's so good.
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
- Um...
- I'll save you a seat.
OK.
What's up?
Nina asked me to sit with her,
so I don't want
to make her wait.
I saw Nina giving Adam
a blow job.
What?!
Yeah. In the woods
after lunch.
Why do you think it's OK
to keep making things up?
I'm not making this up!
Gabby told me you were talking
about your dog dying
in your small group?
- Did Gus die?
- [sighs] OK, look.
I just said that because...
I didn't know what to do!
I didn't have anything to say,
and everyone had
these really sad stories...
[scoffs] God,
this is just like
that time in sixth grade
when you told everyone
Jason gave you
a "purple nurple"
- on the bus.
- [scoffs]
You want attention.
- OK...
- You know what?
I bet you actually did
toss Wade's salad.
I don't even know
what that means!
Oh, my God. Quit the act.
I know you know what it means,
just like you know
the sex scene in Titanic
comes right after
they're in the car.
You were the one
in Father's office, weren't you?
What? [scoffs]
It makes perfect sense.
And I am sick of constantly
feeling embarrassed
for being friends
with a pervy psycho.
[Alice]
Ugh.
[gurgling]
Ugh.
[Father Murphy whistling]
[sexy music
playing from computer]
[moans]
[car squeaking]
[gasps]
[woman on computer moaning]
[exhales sharply]
[woman on computer moaning]
[sighing]
Alice, hey.
Hey.
Is everything all right?
Uh...
Do you wanna talk?
Is everything OK?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
You know that I get turned on
like a microwave!
[students] Let us
build the city of God
Let our tears
be turned into dancing
For the Lord,
our light and our love
Has turned
the night into day
Let us build
the city of God
Let our tears
be turned into dancing
For the Lord,
our light and our love
Has turned
the night into day
Let us build
the city of God
[music playing]
I am the drink at
the loneliest place in town
The place where
the heartache and smoke...
One wine cooler. Please.
The jukebox is moanin'
a sad old country sound
Thanks.
At the loneliest place
in town
It's a place
where I feel at home
And it's better
than bein' alone
Rough day?
'Cause ever since
you been gone
This is where I belong
You from that Catholic
youth retreat down the road?
No.
I'm 21.
Cuttin' up, tellin' jokes
So, what's it like over there?
You'd never know
my whole world's falling down
Yeah I'm the life
of the party
At the loneliest place...
[Gina] I used to be Catholic.
I went to Catholic school
for 12 years.
I was baptized, confirmed,
the whole kit 'n caboodle.
[Alice]
You're not anymore?
No.
How come?
San Francisco. The '70s.
Sex. Women. Mm.
Lots of reasons.
But I remember being your age
and just being scared shitless
that I was gonna wind up
in hell.
Really?
- For what?
- [Gina] Oh, God.
For everything.
Cheating on my homework,
for giving up sugar for Lent
and then eating a whole jar
of gumdrops underneath
my grandmother's staircase.
I literally thought
I was going to hell
for eating gumdrops.
[chuckles]
And that there would be
a big red devil there
with a poker,
and he'd poke at me.
And my bed would be
made out of coals,
and there'd be nothing
but peas to eat,
'cause I hate peas.
[sighs]
I thought I was
gonna go to hell.
for... rewinding Titanic
back to the sex scene...
three times.
You know, I thought
I was gonna go to hell
for looking through my dad's
Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Edition.
I thought I was going to hell
for having cybersex!
[both laugh]
[Gina]
Yep.
You know, the truth is,
nobody knows what they're doing
any more than the rest of us.
We're all just trying
to figure out our shit.
[sighs]
But be careful online, OK?
Don't give your password
out to anyone,
not even someone who says
they work for AOL.
They don't. They just want
to give you the Melissa virus.
[Gina sighs]
Now, I got to get you back
to that Jesus camp.
I don't want any nuns showing up
at my bar looking for ya.
I know. Come on.
I'll give you a lift.
[sighs] Mm.
- Thanks.
- No problem, kid.
Hey. Have you thought about
where you might go to college?
Um... probably State?
Why don't you
check out some schools
on the East and West Coasts?
You might like getting
outta this town for a bit.
[Alice]
Wait!
Do you know what...
tossing someone's salad is?
[laughs]
It's means licking
someone's butthole.
[both chuckle]
Good luck out there, kid.
[giggling]
[motorcycle cranks, revs]
Live the Fourth
[indistinct chatting]
Hey, how's it going?
I really miss my cat.
[chuckles]
Um... what's your cat's name?
Kyoto.
Oh, that's pretty.
What does it mean?
It's a city is Japan.
I love Japan!
I'm going to go with my mom
when I turn 18
as a... a graduation present.
Cool. What are you
gonna do there?
Try all the weird Japanese candy
and eat a ton of sushi.
I've never had sushi.
Oh, my God! It's so good.
We should go to Taki sometime.
They have the best sushi.
- Yeah.
- In this city, anyway.
[chuckles]
Hey.
Hey.
So, everyone says
that it was Wade
who used Father's computer.
Oh.
Yeah.
Father found his bracelet
in his office or something.
Mm.
I'm sorry
I thought it was you.
It's OK.
But now that we know
he's a perv,
he probably made up that rumor
about you guys.
He clearly made it up
to hide the fact that he's gay.
What?
Yeah, apparently,
whatever he did
on Father's computer was gay.
But... he has a girlfriend.
Yeah. A girlfriend
who doesn't even kiss
because she's afraid
it'll lead to sex.
The perfect cover-up.
[door opens]
Ew.
We have a mantra
here at Kirkos.
Question the First,
Weep the Second,
Accept the Third,
Live the Fourth.
It refers to
the four days of Kirkos.
Now, they're all pretty
self-explanatory,
except for
that last one: live.
What that means is
to take what you have learned
this weekend, what you
have discovered about yourself,
and incorporate it
into your everyday lives.
To live each day like it
is the fourth day of Kirkos.
Now, I'm going to ask
that you come up here
and speak about
your experiences this weekend
with the whole group.
There's no set order.
Just let the Spirit of Christ
move you.
I, uh...
I gave in to temptation.
This is not who I am,
but I let myself lose control.
This retreat has taught me,
though, that,
through the love
of my friends, teachers,
and, most importantly, Jesus,
that there is nothing
I can't overcome.
[sighs]
Being in high school sucks.
People love to talk, but...
just because you hear something
doesn't mean that it's true.
When people spread lies
about you, it hurts.
It makes you feel alone...
and empty.
And... sometimes...
you do things
that you're not proud of.
But look...
we're all hiding stuff.
All kinds of stuff.
What if we just try
to be honest and to treat
each other with respect?
That's what
Jesus wanted, right?
And then, maybe, we can stop
feeling so guilty
about who we are all the time,
because the truth is,
we're all just trying
to figure out our shit.
[students gasp]
Sorry, um...
[inaudible]
Have you ever had sushi?
Sushi? You mean
like raw fish?
[chuckles] No.
Who are you gonna go
to church with
when I go to college?
College? That's not
for two more years.
A year and a half.
[Dad sighs] I don't know.
Maybe I'll start going
to the late service again
so your mom will come.
Besides, State's only
40 minutes away.
Just come home
on the weekends.
[car cranks]
Hey.
- Um...
- Hey.
You don't have
to be scared of me.
I... I'm not scared of you.
It won't happen again.
Friends?
Friends.
Hug?
Side hug.
[chuckles]
[Alice] Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
It has been a week
since my last confession.
These are my sins.
Talking back to my parents.
Not doing my chores.
Is that it?
No. It's something
that happened on the retreat.
OK.
I watched people having sex.
All right.
[Alice]
It was a video.
There was a man and a woman.
And the woman was wearing
a hot pink bra.
They were on
the hood of a car.
With graffiti on it.
And I did it,
even though I knew
it was a sin.
Will God still forgive me?
That's between you and God.
For penance, fifty Hail Marys
and fifty Our Fathers.
God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and
resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world
to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit
among us
for the forgiveness of sins...
"Where to, miss?"
"Stars..."
[vibrating]
Give it to me
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me
I'm so addicted
To the loving
that you're feeding to me
Ohh
Can't do without it
This feeling's got me
weak in the knees
Ohh, baby, baby
Body's in withdrawal
Every time
you take it away
Ohh
Can't you
hear me callin'
Beggin' you
to come out and play
Aw, yeah
Aw, yeah
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Missin' you like candy
Sweet sweet loving
Got me going
to the extreme
You gotta know, oh
Won't go without it
This vibe has
got a hold on me
Oh, baby
Oh, baby
Satisfying, baby
Let me show you
what I'm made of
Made of
No doubt about it, boy
Got me feeling crazy,
can't get enough
Baby, baby, baby,
won't you
Come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me ?
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Missin' you like candy
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Now, give it to me
You know who you are
Your love
is as sweet as candy
I'll be forever yours
Love always, Mandy
Boy, I'm craving
Missing you like candy
So, baby, come to me
Come, come, come to me
Sweet to me
You're so sweet
Ooh, baby
I, I, I, I
I'm missing you like candy
Aw, yeah
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
As for the faithless
and the sexually immoral -
their portion will be in the lake
that burns with fire and sulfur,
which is the second death.
- Revelation 21:8
[birds chirping]
tossed salad
noun
A salad made of greens, often with added
vegetables, tossed in a dressing.
Salad tossing
verb
A sex act involving the mouth
and the buttocks.
Have you been to Jesus
For his cleansing power?
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
Are you fully trusting
in his grace this hour?
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
Mark, I see belt loops
and no belt.
Are you washed
in the blood?
In the soul-cleansing blood
of the Lamb?
[Mrs. Veda]
Oh, oh, oh... No.
Are you washed in the blood
of the Lamb?
[sighs]
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Miss O'Donnell.
Just as I suspected:
over two-and-a-half inches
above the knee.
Dean's Office. Now!
- Morning, Mrs. Veda.
- Alice.
School mass today at 2:00.
Why don't you be
gift bearer again?
Sure.
Hmm.
OK, it's like this,
guys are like microwave ovens.
And ladies are like
conventional ovens.
Guys only need a few seconds,
you know, like a microwave,
to get...
switched on.
While ladies,
they typically need to...
preheat for a while.
But God created sex
with boundaries
and for a purpose.
Does anyone wanna take a stab
at what the boundary is?
Yes, Wade?
- Marriage.
- Very good.
And does anybody
know the purpose?
- To have children.
- [Father Murphy] Perfecto.
When a man and a woman receive
the sacrament of matrimony,
God calls on them to create
children in his image.
Any sex outside of one man,
one woman, one marriage
is against God's plan.
Um, what about sex
with yourself?
[students laugh]
Can you create children
from sex with yourself?
- No.
- [Father Murphy] Right, so?
- [Heather] It's against God's plan.
- [Father Murphy] Exactly.
[male student] So, is that what the
Bible means by "spilling your seed"?
- Is it spilling if you catch it?
- [students laugh]
[Father Murphy]
All right, all right.
We are called on to be chaste
until we are married.
And that means no sex...
with yourself or anyone else...
until you stand at that altar
and you say "I do"
or else it is damnation
for all eternity.
And remember...
God is always watching.
Capiche?
They gave us Baby Think-It-Over
in Christian Lifestyles.
I'm not even having sex, they should
just give them to the slutty girls.
Oh, have you had to watch the
partial-birth abortion video yet?
- It's really awful.
- No, no! Don't ruin it for me.
How was Morality?
It was fine.
Did you know that masturbating
is a sin?
Ew. Of course. Why?
I was just wondering.
Making me rewind Titanic
back to the car scene twice
is probably also a sin,
just in case you were wondering
that next.
Look, I only
asked you to do that
because I couldn't hear
what Kate whispered to Leo
- when he said, "Where to, Miss?"
- Mm-hmm.
Which just happens to be
right before they make out
and steam up that car window
that Kate slaps her hand on.
I didn't write it!
[dog barking]
Hey! Hi, Gus.
[clicking tongue]
Sit, Gus.
Sit.
[modem dialing up]
[computer voice]
Welcome!
OK. Here we go!
[sighs]
Damn it!
[sighs]
Titanic!
[typing]
Yes!
[computer voice]
You've got mail.
[gasps]
Mom?
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[sighs]
[scanner whirring]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
Wet?
[chimes]
Uh...
[smacks lips]
Underwear?
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
Ohh.
[chimes]
What?
[Mom]
Alice!
Dinner!
- [Priest] I confess to almighty God...
- Almighty God...
[all] and to you,
my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned
through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what
I have failed to do...
[Dad] The Millers invited us
over to watch the game.
Great, I'll make
my cheesy potatoes.
Oh, Damn it, Ron.
Now I'm all wet!
[sighs]
Calm down, Gail,
you're not that wet.
[water running]
- [music playing]
- [horn honks]
So, uh, Alice, I heard
you got on Wade Friday night.
Stephanie told me she walked in
on you guys in my sauna.
[Anthony] Ooh!
Gettin' steamy in the sauna!
No, we were just back there
getting some drinks.
We were only gone
for like a minute!
Yeah, that's long enough
for Wade.
[grunts] I was just messin'.
Listen.
You don't have to put out
just because you like a boy.
I don't like him.
[Father Murphy] And now, for the Bible
passages that back all this up...
We're gonna start
with Galatians.
Heather, why don't you
start us off?
[Heather] The acts of the flesh
are obvious:
sexual immorality,
impurity, debauchery...
OK, so, I just bought
this Blink 182 CD
from Sam Goody, right?
Um, I upload them to my computer
and then I just put 'em
on here.
Easy as pie.
The album's amazing, by the way.
It's called
Enema of the State.
- Get it?
- [laughs]
I bet you know all about enemas,
don't you?
Can you not talk about enemas
near my baby, please?
Yeah, I'm gonna...
Thank you.
Such a perv.
What's an enema?
It's when you fall water skiing
and water shoots up your butt.
Well, look who it is.
Where were you this weekend?
You didn't come to my party.
Yeah, I heard things
got pretty crazy.
Everyone's been talking
about you and Wade.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
They're saying
you tossed his salad.
- What?
- Gross!
You tossed his salad
in my sauna?
What? No! No!
Who, who said that?
Some girl in my Geometry class
was telling a bunch of us.
Heather's really pissed too.
She just gave Wade
a promise bracelet.
OK. [chuckles]
I mean, I've never even heard of
dressing someone's salad! So...
The party was really fun.
Why didn't you come?
I was on a retreat.
[Laura]
Oh! Like a spa?
No, a retreat ran by the school.
It's called Kirkos and I got
this necklace on it. See?
Cool. What'd you do there?
We're not allowed to talk about
it with anyone who hasn't been.
But it totally changed my life.
Coming, Beth?
Yeah. I gotta go.
You guys should sign up
for the next one.
I think it'd be good for you.
Since when does Beth eat lunch
with Nina and those girls?
I have to go on that retreat.
Do you think she thinks
that I actually
tasted Wade's salad or whatever?
I don't know.
Beth's such a moron.
I never have any clue
what's she's talking about
so she probably made it up.
[laughing]
I'm gonna go get more milk.
[laughter continues]
Oh. Hey, Heather. Hey, Wade.
Can't have pudding without milk!
She's disgusting.
[church music playing]
I think I'm going to ask Heather
to bear the gifts
with Jacob today.
[snaps fingers]
[sighs]
Alice, if you want to continue
to be a gift bearer,
you have to conduct yourself
like one.
Your body is a gift from God.
You need to honor it.
[indistinct chatter]
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Um, bless me Father
for I have sinned.
It has been a week
since my last confession.
These are my sins...
Talking back to my dad...
Not helping my mom
in the kitchen...
Forgetting to feed the dog...
And...
And anything else?
That's it.
For penance,
why don't you do
the dishes for a week?
Give your mom a break.
And ten Hail Marys
and ten Our Fathers.
God, the Father of mercies,
through the death
and resurrection of his Son,
has reconciled
the world to itself
and sent the Holy Spirit
among us
for the forgiveness of sins...
Give us this day
our daily bread,
and forgive us
of our trespasses,
as we forgive those that
trespass against us...
[Mrs. Veda]
Your body is a gift from God.
[Heather]
It's against God's plan.
[Mrs. Vega]
You need to honor it.
[Father Murphy] Or else it is
damnation for all eternity.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in Heaven.
[Beth]
It's called Kirkos.
I think it'd be good for you.
[birds chirping]
[indistinct chatter]
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Sister help
to trim the sails
Hallelujah
Sister help
to trim the sails
Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
Are we there?
Michael row the boat ashore
Hallelujah
I can't do this.
[Laura] These few days away
are going to be good for us.
[Alice]
I don't know.
Ugh!
Father looks so weird
in regular people clothes.
[gasps] Oh, my God! Nina's here!
She must be one
of the group leaders.
Welcome, everyone.
Who's that?
Are you serious?
That's Chris.
He's only like the star
of the football team.
Welcome to Kirkos.
So, uh, you're gonna be
bunking in my cabin this week.
Oh, oh, oh
My body's sayin' let's go
Oh, oh, oh
But my heart is sayin' no
If you wanna be with me
Baby,
there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me
the right way
[Nina]
Hi! Alice, right?
- Yeah.
- Welcome.
I'm Nina. Come with me.
You're in my cabin. Come on.
Sorry.
Question the First
[Nina]
I'm so excited for you guys.
OK. Find the room
with your name on the door.
- [knock at door]
- Oh, sorry!
I didn't mean to scare you!
You settling in?
I've got a sweatshirt
here for you.
Thanks.
And... next order
of beeswax is...
I'm gonna need
your cell phone and/or watch,
if you have 'em.
Did you bring either one
of those with you?
Mm-hmm.
No phone?
- Mm-mm.
- K.
Don't worry,
you won't be needing
a watch this weekend anyway
because...
you're on Jesus' time!
See ya!
[indistinct chatter]
[Mrs. Veda] Please find
your small group number!
Cut the chit-chat, please,
and have a seat.
Sit at the table
with your small group number.
Please find
your small group number.
[sighs]
- I guess I'll see you later.
- What?
Group One?
Awesome!
I'm Chris,
Group One's Senior Leader.
Have a seat.
Group One too?
Awesome! Have a seat.
You are here
as a part of God's plan.
His spirit moved each of you
to sign up for this retreat,
which is a unique experience
that will challenge you
in new and profound ways.
Kirkos is a time
to find meaning
in the highs and lows
of your life.
Over these next four days
you will hear
from your classmates
and be invited
to open up as well.
It will strengthen your
relationship with yourself,
but most importantly,
with Jesus.
Now let's get started.
On the papers
that Mrs. Veda is handing out,
you're going to find
a list of feelings.
Go through them
and circle any
that you may have felt
in the past year or so.
There are no wrong answers.
So just, just be honest.
[Father Murphy] While ladies,
they typically need to...
preheat for a while.
[Father Murphy]
OK. Let's finish up.
Pass your papers
toward the aisles.
And make sure that your name
is printed clearly on top.
Come on.
The other night I dreamt
that I was walking
along the beach with the Lord.
As we walked,
scenes from my life
flashed across the sky
and in each scene,
I noticed that there were
footprints in the sand.
In some scenes there were
two sets of footprints
and in other scenes there was
only one set of footprints.
[indistinct chatter]
Hey.
Oh. Hey.
- Hey, Sister Louise.
- Hi.
Do you mind if I snag another
stupendous Walking Taco?
[Sister Louise] Of course, dear.
You're a growing boy!
And Walking Tacos have lots
of protein and fiber.
Oh, may I have some sour cream
too, please?
- [Sister Louise] Oh, yes.
- [Chris] Thank you.
You're welcome.
What about you, dear?
- Oh, no, no thanks.
- [Sister Louise] No?
No sour cream?
No, that is the best part.
OK.
- I guess I'll have some.
- [chuckles]
How's everything going for you
so far, Alice?
It's great.
You know, it's OK if you think
things are totally weird.
It's supposed to be
a little weird.
At least at first.
[chuckles]
I'll see you later, Alice.
OK, bye!
I come from a very big family.
I have four younger siblings
and...
an older sister...
Melissa.
She made honor roll
every semester
and she founded
Habitat for Humanity
at our school.
She's the star of our family.
One time,
I came home at 2:00 a.m....
three hours past my curfew.
And no one even noticed.
It felt like no one cared
if I was there or not.
Um...
Uh...
I'd now like to play
my first song.
[music playing]
You don't notice me
standing here
Wishing you
could somehow feel
I just wish
that you could feel
Last fall,
Melissa came to pick me up
from a friend's house
to take me home.
And each day we were born
And the next thing I remember
is waking up in the hospital
being told that
we were in an accident
and that I had
three broken ribs...
[sobbing]
And the first thought
I had was...
[sobbing]
Maybe my parents will finally
start to notice me.
[sobbing]
Melissa was fine but...
my parents
were still obsessed with her.
It felt like
they blamed me for the accident.
That if she hadn't
had to come and pick me up,
she wouldn't have missed
her Science Bowl nationals.
But then,
I came on to this retreat...
[sniffles]
And I realized
that God loves me...
my friends love me...
and...
[chuckles]
I love me too.
[chuckles]
[crickets chirping]
[sighs]
[beeping]
[chiming loudly]
[beeping]
[vibrates]
[vibrates]
[vibrates]
[moans]
- [vibrating]
- [moaning]
[sighs]
Weep the Second
[indistinct chatter]
OK, guys, circle up, circle up.
Now, this is one
of my favorite songs,
and while you're listening,
I want you to imagine
that the eyes in the song
are Jesus's eyes.
[music playing]
Love
I get so lost sometimes
Days pass
And this emptiness
fills my heart
When I want to run away
[indistinct chatter]
Would you look at how
these gorgeous pines
contrast against the blue sky?!
Isn't God's paint palette
just magnificent?
[Laura] So did I tell you Nina
told me she liked my hair
- this morning at breakfast?
- Mm-hmm.
She said she can't do it
with her own hair
because every time she tries it
her hair gets all bumpy.
So I said I could
show her how I do it
and she said she would
invite me over sometime!
Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
[gasps]
I mean, you can come too,
of course, if you want.
Well, maybe I should
ask Nina first
if it's OK that you're there,
but I mean
do you even wanna come?
- Whoa!
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
Are you OK?
[groans]
Everything OK here, troops?
Ooh, comrade.
That's quite a battle wound.
Uh-huh.
Can you walk?
- [groans] No. No. No.
- OK. Just don't move.
[grunts]
Let's get you to the nurse, huh?
[indistinct chatter]
[knock at door]
[door opens]
Hey.
I was just coming to let you
know we're doing the group photo
down by the bridge in five.
Great. I'll be there.
Everything OK in here?
Yep.
OK.
[phone vibrates]
What was that?
[phone vibrates]
- [sighs]
- [phone vibrates]
I specifically asked you
for your phone
on the day you arrived.
Look, I'm gonna have
to tell Father about this.
[sighs]
Uh, Chris,
could you come in, please?
Hey, Alice,
what'd you have for breakfast?
Cereal.
Oh, you didn't have salad?
[male student]
Like a Wade salad.
[laughing]
OK. Everybody say Jesus Christ!
[all]
Jesus Christ!
- [camera shutter clicks]
- OK, great!
Guys, head up
toward the cafeteria.
We're gonna have lunch
in our small groups today, OK?
And Alice, Alice, a quick word.
Nina said you kept your phone.
You know, we have a reason
for everything
that we ask you to do here
and it's very important
that you follow our rules.
Sorry, Father.
I hope you understand I can't
let this go unpunished.
Now first, you must empty
the trash receptacles.
There are four of them.
One there... and one there...
and one there...
[grunts]
Come on. [grunts]
[grunts]
[exhales deeply]
[typing]
What?
[computer chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[typing]
[chimes]
[chimes]
[sighs]
[footsteps approaching]
[Nina]
Alice!
- Hey.
- What's up?
Just finished cleaning.
We made S'mores after lunch.
Saved you one.
Thanks.
We pretended each marshmallow
was a different mortal sin
before burning it.
Yours was lust.
Oh.
Look, I want you to know
I'm not mad
about the phone thing, OK?
You're doing a real good job
and I think
you're on the right path now.
So, just keep up
the good work, OK?
OK.
I believe in you.
[chuckles]
[crickets chirping]
"Dear Andrew...
Remember when you were little
and Mom and I would tuck you in,
and you would make us kiss you
on both of your cheeks
at exactly the same time
or else
you couldn't fall asleep?
I always thought those
were my favorite memories
from when
we were a young family.
But I was wrong.
Every day is a new
favorite memory with you.
I love you, kiddo.
Love, Dad."
[clears throat]
"Dear Laura...
Your father and I
love you so much.
And although
I will always cherish
those days
when you were little,
I love being able to do
adult things with you too...
like getting our nails done
and showing you how to cook
my famous baked ziti.
But no matter what,
you'll always be my baby girl.
I love you so much."
"Dear Alice,
You're a wonderful daughter
and the best church partner
a father could ask for.
It's so amazing
to watch you grow
into the wholesome young woman
God created you to be.
I am so proud of you
for always making good choices.
Love you, Al.
Love, Dad."
Accept the Third
[Chris]
Amen.
[all]
Amen.
[sighs] All right.
Like myself
and my fellow senior leaders
have done,
we are now gonna ask
that you all share
your own stories.
Moments when life
was difficult,
or hard, or overwhelming.
Times where you felt
Jesus was far away.
My girlfriend
dumped me last week.
That was really rough.
I thought everything
was going well,
and last week,
she had her friend call me
to break up with me for her.
And I'm pretty sure
it was a three-way call,
and she was listening,
so I acted like it was cool,
but it really sucked.
Thank you, Andrew.
[deep breath]
This is really hard
to talk about.
But...
Last month...
my Grandma died.
She lived in Idaho,
so I didn't see her that often.
And like,
it makes me really sad
that we didn't get to talk much
before she died.
The saddest part is...
after her funeral,
we went back to her house,
and her dog was there,
just looking so sad.
It was, like,
walking around the house
looking for her.
It had no idea.
OK...
Um...
Well...
Speaking of dogs...
My dog... Gus...
died a few weeks ago.
Um, our neighbors put out
some chipmunk poison.
He must have got into it
through the chain-link fence.
My family was playing basketball
in our driveway,
and the ball
went over the fence,
and I went to go get it,
and... that's where
I found him...
lying on his side.
He wasn't moving.
[crying, sniffling]
- I thought he was just...
- [Father Murphy] Excuse me.
All right, can I have
your attention, please?
All eyes and ears here.
I'm sorry to report
that earlier this morning,
I found something
rather disturbing
on my office computer.
It appears that someone
has used it
to engage
in an online chat of...
well, let's just say
an explicit nature.
Would anyone like to take
responsibility for this?
[quiet murmuring]
I didn't think so.
Now, I have no way
of knowing who did this,
but whoever it was,
even if I don't know you did it,
you do, and so does God.
But in keeping with the theme
of this retreat,
I hope that whomever did do it
feels compelled
by the Spirit of Christ
to come forward
before the retreat is through.
[murmuring]
So, Alice,
how would you describe
your relationship with Jesus?
- Fine.
- Just fine?
Fine, as in good.
Do you think that there might
be something getting in the way?
Something that's preventing it
from being better?
OK, well, why don't you try
reflecting back
on that feelings checklist
you filled out
on your first day here.
Do any of the emotions
that you circled on there
bring anything up?
Um...
I was feeling envious
of my best friend
when she got a Bimmer
for her birthday,
because I drive
a Buick Le Sabre.
Anything else?
She also got Oakley sunglasses
for Christmas.
What about feeling turned on?
No temptation
has overtaken you
except what is common
to mankind.
And God will not let you
be tempted
beyond what you can bear,
and he knows
what is truly in your heart.
OK.
So, have you ever
felt turned on?
And did you take any action
when you had that feeling?
You didn't take any action?
No.
Nothing with
your classmate Wade?
No.
Someone made that up.
Alice, this retreat
isn't gonna do you any favors
if you're not honest.
How's this?
Wow! That one's huge.
Way to go, Alice.
Thanks.
[sighs]
And when you turn it on,
our plasma rises
out of this little Oak unit.
But when you press off,
it sinks back down
and a Rothko takes its place.
Your rec room sounds amazing!
Hey, Nina, that, um...
leader meeting
is about to start.
Right, right.
I forgot about that.
Thank you. Um, I gotta go.
OK. I'll see you
at the campfire.
Hey!
What?
[sighs]
What is your problem with me?
My problem? My problem is
that Heather almost dumped me
because of that disgusting rumor
you started.
I didn't start it!
Yeah, well,
if you didn't, who did?
I don't know! I...
Did you start it?
No! I have a girlfriend.
OK. Well,
both you and I know
that nothing happened.
Are you telling people that?
You need to start!
Because everyone thinks
that I'm a slut,
even the teachers.
Look, you're
the only other person
who knows what happened.
And no one believes me!
Hey, Wade! What are you
still doing here?
Just on my way out, Father.
OK, good, good.
Hey, how's the old shotput arm
- doing in the off season?
- [Wade] Good, Father.
Just trying not to do
too much heavy lifting.
[chuckles]
[music playing through radio]
Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find
What will I find?
Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find
What will I find?
[music intensifies]
Yeah
Yeah
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
Oh, heaven,
let your light shine down
- [music lessens in intensity]
- Oh
[Sister Louise coughs]
I need a cup of tea.
I'm all done.
OK, dear.
[girl]
It is the best.
...and the colorful,
like, floral tops.
- The stripes, the stripes!
- Hey!
It's so good.
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
- Um...
- I'll save you a seat.
OK.
What's up?
Nina asked me to sit with her,
so I don't want
to make her wait.
I saw Nina giving Adam
a blow job.
What?!
Yeah. In the woods
after lunch.
Why do you think it's OK
to keep making things up?
I'm not making this up!
Gabby told me you were talking
about your dog dying
in your small group?
- Did Gus die?
- [sighs] OK, look.
I just said that because...
I didn't know what to do!
I didn't have anything to say,
and everyone had
these really sad stories...
[scoffs] God,
this is just like
that time in sixth grade
when you told everyone
Jason gave you
a "purple nurple"
- on the bus.
- [scoffs]
You want attention.
- OK...
- You know what?
I bet you actually did
toss Wade's salad.
I don't even know
what that means!
Oh, my God. Quit the act.
I know you know what it means,
just like you know
the sex scene in Titanic
comes right after
they're in the car.
You were the one
in Father's office, weren't you?
What? [scoffs]
It makes perfect sense.
And I am sick of constantly
feeling embarrassed
for being friends
with a pervy psycho.
[Alice]
Ugh.
[gurgling]
Ugh.
[Father Murphy whistling]
[sexy music
playing from computer]
[moans]
[car squeaking]
[gasps]
[woman on computer moaning]
[exhales sharply]
[woman on computer moaning]
[sighing]
Alice, hey.
Hey.
Is everything all right?
Uh...
Do you wanna talk?
Is everything OK?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
You know that I get turned on
like a microwave!
[students] Let us
build the city of God
Let our tears
be turned into dancing
For the Lord,
our light and our love
Has turned
the night into day
Let us build
the city of God
Let our tears
be turned into dancing
For the Lord,
our light and our love
Has turned
the night into day
Let us build
the city of God
[music playing]
I am the drink at
the loneliest place in town
The place where
the heartache and smoke...
One wine cooler. Please.
The jukebox is moanin'
a sad old country sound
Thanks.
At the loneliest place
in town
It's a place
where I feel at home
And it's better
than bein' alone
Rough day?
'Cause ever since
you been gone
This is where I belong
You from that Catholic
youth retreat down the road?
No.
I'm 21.
Cuttin' up, tellin' jokes
So, what's it like over there?
You'd never know
my whole world's falling down
Yeah I'm the life
of the party
At the loneliest place...
[Gina] I used to be Catholic.
I went to Catholic school
for 12 years.
I was baptized, confirmed,
the whole kit 'n caboodle.
[Alice]
You're not anymore?
No.
How come?
San Francisco. The '70s.
Sex. Women. Mm.
Lots of reasons.
But I remember being your age
and just being scared shitless
that I was gonna wind up
in hell.
Really?
- For what?
- [Gina] Oh, God.
For everything.
Cheating on my homework,
for giving up sugar for Lent
and then eating a whole jar
of gumdrops underneath
my grandmother's staircase.
I literally thought
I was going to hell
for eating gumdrops.
[chuckles]
And that there would be
a big red devil there
with a poker,
and he'd poke at me.
And my bed would be
made out of coals,
and there'd be nothing
but peas to eat,
'cause I hate peas.
[sighs]
I thought I was
gonna go to hell.
for... rewinding Titanic
back to the sex scene...
three times.
You know, I thought
I was gonna go to hell
for looking through my dad's
Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Edition.
I thought I was going to hell
for having cybersex!
[both laugh]
[Gina]
Yep.
You know, the truth is,
nobody knows what they're doing
any more than the rest of us.
We're all just trying
to figure out our shit.
[sighs]
But be careful online, OK?
Don't give your password
out to anyone,
not even someone who says
they work for AOL.
They don't. They just want
to give you the Melissa virus.
[Gina sighs]
Now, I got to get you back
to that Jesus camp.
I don't want any nuns showing up
at my bar looking for ya.
I know. Come on.
I'll give you a lift.
[sighs] Mm.
- Thanks.
- No problem, kid.
Hey. Have you thought about
where you might go to college?
Um... probably State?
Why don't you
check out some schools
on the East and West Coasts?
You might like getting
outta this town for a bit.
[Alice]
Wait!
Do you know what...
tossing someone's salad is?
[laughs]
It's means licking
someone's butthole.
[both chuckle]
Good luck out there, kid.
[giggling]
[motorcycle cranks, revs]
Live the Fourth
[indistinct chatting]
Hey, how's it going?
I really miss my cat.
[chuckles]
Um... what's your cat's name?
Kyoto.
Oh, that's pretty.
What does it mean?
It's a city is Japan.
I love Japan!
I'm going to go with my mom
when I turn 18
as a... a graduation present.
Cool. What are you
gonna do there?
Try all the weird Japanese candy
and eat a ton of sushi.
I've never had sushi.
Oh, my God! It's so good.
We should go to Taki sometime.
They have the best sushi.
- Yeah.
- In this city, anyway.
[chuckles]
Hey.
Hey.
So, everyone says
that it was Wade
who used Father's computer.
Oh.
Yeah.
Father found his bracelet
in his office or something.
Mm.
I'm sorry
I thought it was you.
It's OK.
But now that we know
he's a perv,
he probably made up that rumor
about you guys.
He clearly made it up
to hide the fact that he's gay.
What?
Yeah, apparently,
whatever he did
on Father's computer was gay.
But... he has a girlfriend.
Yeah. A girlfriend
who doesn't even kiss
because she's afraid
it'll lead to sex.
The perfect cover-up.
[door opens]
Ew.
We have a mantra
here at Kirkos.
Question the First,
Weep the Second,
Accept the Third,
Live the Fourth.
It refers to
the four days of Kirkos.
Now, they're all pretty
self-explanatory,
except for
that last one: live.
What that means is
to take what you have learned
this weekend, what you
have discovered about yourself,
and incorporate it
into your everyday lives.
To live each day like it
is the fourth day of Kirkos.
Now, I'm going to ask
that you come up here
and speak about
your experiences this weekend
with the whole group.
There's no set order.
Just let the Spirit of Christ
move you.
I, uh...
I gave in to temptation.
This is not who I am,
but I let myself lose control.
This retreat has taught me,
though, that,
through the love
of my friends, teachers,
and, most importantly, Jesus,
that there is nothing
I can't overcome.
[sighs]
Being in high school sucks.
People love to talk, but...
just because you hear something
doesn't mean that it's true.
When people spread lies
about you, it hurts.
It makes you feel alone...
and empty.
And... sometimes...
you do things
that you're not proud of.
But look...
we're all hiding stuff.
All kinds of stuff.
What if we just try
to be honest and to treat
each other with respect?
That's what
Jesus wanted, right?
And then, maybe, we can stop
feeling so guilty
about who we are all the time,
because the truth is,
we're all just trying
to figure out our shit.
[students gasp]
Sorry, um...
[inaudible]
Have you ever had sushi?
Sushi? You mean
like raw fish?
[chuckles] No.
Who are you gonna go
to church with
when I go to college?
College? That's not
for two more years.
A year and a half.
[Dad sighs] I don't know.
Maybe I'll start going
to the late service again
so your mom will come.
Besides, State's only
40 minutes away.
Just come home
on the weekends.
[car cranks]
Hey.
- Um...
- Hey.
You don't have
to be scared of me.
I... I'm not scared of you.
It won't happen again.
Friends?
Friends.
Hug?
Side hug.
[chuckles]
[Alice] Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
It has been a week
since my last confession.
These are my sins.
Talking back to my parents.
Not doing my chores.
Is that it?
No. It's something
that happened on the retreat.
OK.
I watched people having sex.
All right.
[Alice]
It was a video.
There was a man and a woman.
And the woman was wearing
a hot pink bra.
They were on
the hood of a car.
With graffiti on it.
And I did it,
even though I knew
it was a sin.
Will God still forgive me?
That's between you and God.
For penance, fifty Hail Marys
and fifty Our Fathers.
God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and
resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world
to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit
among us
for the forgiveness of sins...
"Where to, miss?"
"Stars..."
[vibrating]
Give it to me
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me
I'm so addicted
To the loving
that you're feeding to me
Ohh
Can't do without it
This feeling's got me
weak in the knees
Ohh, baby, baby
Body's in withdrawal
Every time
you take it away
Ohh
Can't you
hear me callin'
Beggin' you
to come out and play
Aw, yeah
Aw, yeah
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Missin' you like candy
Sweet sweet loving
Got me going
to the extreme
You gotta know, oh
Won't go without it
This vibe has
got a hold on me
Oh, baby
Oh, baby
Satisfying, baby
Let me show you
what I'm made of
Made of
No doubt about it, boy
Got me feeling crazy,
can't get enough
Baby, baby, baby,
won't you
Come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me ?
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Missin' you like candy
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy
Now, give it to me
You know who you are
Your love
is as sweet as candy
I'll be forever yours
Love always, Mandy
Boy, I'm craving
Missing you like candy
So, baby, come to me
Come, come, come to me
Sweet to me
You're so sweet
Ooh, baby
I, I, I, I
I'm missing you like candy
Aw, yeah
So, baby, come to me
Baby, show me who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Sweet to me
Like sugar to my heart
Ooh, baby
I'm craving for you
I'm craving
I'm missing you like candy