Yolki (2010) Movie Script
Yolki
Not so many holidays are celebrated nation-wide in Russia.
Usually it's any win for Russia's national soccer team and the New Years Eve.
Since the second happens so much more often that's the one our story will be about.
It just so happens that Russia stretches across the globe with 9 time zones.
When Olivie salad is already being eaten in Vladivostok,
someone is only starting to cut the vegetables for it in Kaliningrad.
Our story begins here in Kaliningrad, the most westward city.
Here, where children have to wait for Santa the longest time,
our story begins.
Oreshkin, where the heck are you?
- Need a hand with that?
- Get lost!
I need a hand over here.
Sure.
Murom!
Moscow.
Arkhangelsk.
Kaluga.
- Ashgabat.
- Yusuf, Ashgabat is not a Russian city.
My daughter lives there,
she's growing up so fast.
Look! He's here!
We are playing "Cities" here,
your city starts with "N."
Novosibirsk.
- Kineshma!
- What?
You're a "Kineshma"!
My dad has been there.
How could he have been there, when you said he was in Ufa earlier.
Not Ufa, but in Finland.
Finland? She said he was in Yakutsk!
My stepdad sent me some chocolate covered pineapples.
Why didn't you say anything?
- Bring them here!
- OK, one second.
Look, what's in the newspaper!
President of Russia visits cities on the Volga River.
And he paid special attention
to the city of Kineshma.
Let me see that.
On December 27th the President went to Sochi to meet with the mayor.
And then he went to Ufa, Yakutsk, Finland.
On 30th December the President went to Finland.
What does this mean?
She made it all up. She took everything from the newspaper.
She looked at where the President went and told us that her dad went there.
- And we all fell for it.
- How could she have done that?
He is my father.
Huh?!
I just could not talk about it.
Great! Then have your daddy say something to you during his New Years Eve speech.
Something like: "Hello, Varya!"
He can't say that on TV.
Well then...
then have him say...
"Santa helps those who help themselves!"
Otherwise no one will ever speak to you.
Nobody... ever again!
- OK. He will say it.
- We'll see...
Vova had no idea
how to help poor Varya.
Is it even possible to change the New Year Eve speech of the President of Russia?
Meanwhile, at the other end of the country
in the far away sunny city of Yakutsk
a man who could possibly help Vova was exiting the sauna.
Boris, aren't you scared that your Olya...
- would leave you for another man?
- Why would she?
Well, she'll have to celebrate the New Year with someone else.
The person you spend New Years with is who you will be with for the rest of the year.
For 6 months Boris has not been to St. Petersburg and has not seen his girlfriend.
Hey, Olya? Hi!
Guess what happened
earlier today?
Yesterday the President visited Ufa,
and our stocks immediately! Immediately!
Immediately jumped up by 15 percent...
But that's not the main thing.
The main thing that now I...
I will be back not on April 20th,
but on the 4th of March.
Olya, we've been through this a thousand times. I'm not doing it for myself.
It's for both of us.
Celebrate just this once without me,
and I will be back soon.
- Everything will be what?
- Everything will be ve-ry good.
I deposited some money into your account, buy yourself something...
something really nice.
By the way, will you be celebrating
with Antomonovs?
No.
But don't worry, I have somebody
to celebrate with.
What do you mean?
Olya, I didn't get that.
Olya, are you seeing someone?
Boris, sorry, I think the battery is dying.
Olya!
Her battery is dying...
- Olya!
- The number cannot be reached...
Very well.
Hey, accountants!
Where are you guys going?
We decided to take a holiday!
Wanna come with us?
Stop! Stop!
- Hey... I need to go to...
- To the airport?
Yes!
Quickly please.
Boris kept on hoping that Olya
still loves him and is waiting for him.
But the taxi cab driver Pasha from Krasnoyarsk...
... had nothing to hope for.
Think about it...
We'll be having some really hot
snow maidens over there.
Not enough Santas though.
I'll give my season's greetings
to 2-3 snow maidens,
but there's too many for me
to make all of them happy.
No, I have my own snow maiden.
Hold on.
That's Vera Brezhneva!
Give me a break!
I had the same thing when I was a kid.
I had a crush on Mila Jovovich!
C'mon, are you serious?
So just how do you see her being with you?
You just drive down the road one day...
And, wow! There she is just standing
on the side of the road.
"Can you get me to club Nirvana, chief?
I'm late for my show."
Tough case.
Miracles don't happen.
Hey chief, to club Nirvana fast.
We're running late...
Can you do that? Great!
Seems like Pasha finally caught
lady luck by the tail.
Meanwhile in Ekaterinburg...
Pasha's uncle, the police captain Sinitsyn,
caught someone else...
for something else.
Hey Ravil!
I let the boys off to go get food.
They will book him, when they come back.
With all due respect sir
why do you put an innocent man...
behind bars on New Year's Eve?
Is that fair?
Look at you talk! Fair!
You robbing the jewelry store...
in my district...
on New Year's Eve
is that fair?
They won't promote you to major
for this anyway.
I am not guilty, you know that.
You don't even have any evidence.
- The sales clerk pointed right at you.
- I was just getting a gift for my friends.
Your friends are eating dead meat in the ditch.
So why did you not buy it?
- With what?
- Then why were you there?
- Just checking out price.
- So was the price right?
Let's go.
I'm going to make the money and buy it later.
I am looking for a job right now.
- Why don't you believe me?
- It's raining.
- Can you hear it?
- No.
You can't? That's because
it's not really raining. Know why?
It's the jail missing you and crying.
- Not funny.
- But it's true!
Zaitsev, you are a thief.
Your face says it all.
And where should a thief be?
That's right.
I didn't take that necklace.
Beautiful.
That night Lyosha Zaitsev
was not the only one to get caught.
In the city of Ufa Yulia's fiance
was caught up in work
by his enormous love of work.
Meanwhile Yulia went to buy
her fiance's favorite champagne.
- Oh, I'm sorry!
- Sorry!
Happy New Year!
OK, see you at 10.
OK, bye.
Dear girls, no need to despair, if one day
you come across one of these fake fiances.
Because only a real man
will be able to change your life.
- Varya, I know what we need to do.
- So do I.
No one will ever see me here again.
- No, for the President to say those words!
- Yeah right!
There is a theory of the six handshakes.
All people in this world know each other through six people.
Look here!
This is you.
This is the President.
You know someone.
He knows someone else.
He knows someone,
and he knows someone.
And eventually you can reach the President.
Get it?
You don't believe me.
Alright.
Who to start the chain of six handshakes with?
There was no time to think,
and Vova decided to go with random chance.
The choice fell on Misha, a former child from the orphanage now temporarily residing...
...in Cuba.
Hey, Misha.
Misha, are you there?
You really thought I was a bear?
No, not really,
I just thought you were so...
uppity since you drive a Bentley.
But you are such a funny guy!
That is why I moved to Cuba...
because all that glamour, expensive cars, business, parties in Saint-Tropez with rap celebrities,
I am so sick of it all!
I wanted to go somewhere far away
and have some privacy.
Only please don't tell anyone
that I know rap singers.
Because I'm ashamed
to be acquainted with them.
I totally understand you. I myself asked my parents to send me to Switzerland...
because it's so peaceful here.
It was. Until I came there!
Was that a dinosaur?
We don't have those over here.
Though it would be great,
if you came here to see me.
Seriously?
Oh, hey, excuse me,
my phone is ringing.
Sure. I hear.
It's work related. Give me a second.
Yes.
Misha became the first link
in the chain of six handshakes.
You must help me!
This is very important!
My friend Varya has told everyone
that her father is the President.
And that he will say "hello" to her
during his New Years Eve speech...
in the form of a code message.
But in reality Varya
does not have a father.
That is why we must ask the President
to say those words to her.
Ask the President?
Sure, the President will say it,
no problem.
OK, so long, wrap up the call,
this is long distance after all.
Hey, hold on.
Write down the code words.
Code words? Sure.
"Santa helps those who help themselves."
I'll get it to the President.
Alright, bye.
Thank you.
We are counting on you.
Get that to him. Yes.
Pass it down the chain.
We all believe in you.
Good luck.
There you go!
- Oreshkin, you are a fool.
- What?
It won't work.
The chain has started.
I had just called a very serious man.
- Really? Like that changes anything.
- Why won't you understand?
The system will work!
It will make it to the President.
To the President?
Yeah, my people in the government are having some issues, I need to help them out.
Misha, let's make a deal.
No matter what happens
we will never lie to each other.
- Sure.
- Sure, only the truth!
And nothing but the truth.
Listen, I have to run now,
my students are here for surfing lessons.
- Promise that you will show me how you surf.
- I'll show you, I promise.
- Looking forward to it!
- OK, bye.
Misha's "Cuba" turned out to be just a college dorm room in the Russian city of Kazan.
New Year is around the corner and we have some huts in our bedroom.
We're living on a beach like some natives.
What's up with that?
Because of you guys I had to make a promise
that I can't possibly fulfill!
Because of us?!
Because of you we can't live
in our own dorm for the last 3 months.
So your Swiss girl won't figure you out.
You should have told her the truth long ago.
If she dumps you, so be it.
Guys, help me out this one last time!
Help me show Lena that I am surfing.
Surfing where? Here?
You're out of your mind...
Misha, you don't have a choice.
You will have to tell her the truth.
- Happy New Year, neighbor.
- No thanks.
Take it, I have more.
Excuse me, young men...
we don't allow consuming
alcoholic beverages on our flights,
except for those that we sell.
Miss, when you get angry,
you look so sexy.
Fine, but do it quietly,
so no one sees you.
Thanks, beautiful.
- That was smooth.
- Yakutsk Acting School.
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
To St. Petersburg? On tour?
Yeah. To see my girlfriend.
And you?
Yeah, me too...
to see my girlfriend.
"Forgive me."
"Coming to see you. Flight number..."
You did her wrong?
What?
It happens.
What happens?
I did nothing wrong.
Just working like a horse.
To making sure she has everything she wants.
Nice car, nice house, nice earrings...
- From Tiffany?
- For instance.
And her phone battery goes dead.
Attention...
What?
Girls need our attention.
Or else...
Hey, darling...
Listen, I'm running late today. Can you go out with your girlfriends tonight?
And don't talk to me for the next 30 years while I'm working.
- And then everything will be ve-ry good.
- Oh c'mon!
Don't start with all that.
Girls need us to be there with them.
If you're not there with her,
someone else will be.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
Dad!
Guess what I read on the internet?
- What, son?
- That Bavly is in a different time zone.
It is 2 hours behind us.
We could first celebrate New Year here,
then jet to Bavly...
and celebrate New Year there all over again.
That's great!
Peter, come help with the bags.
Don't just stand there.
Go help with the bags.
Peter, what are you doing there?
Can you imagine?
Bavly is in a different time zone.
They are 2 hours behind us.
So we could celebrate New Year at home first,
then go to Bavly...
- And do it there all over again.
- That's nice.
- Bring the fruit punch, would you?
- Sure.
Yulia, don't get upset.
You'll find yourself another fiance.
Girls, I really don't need anyone.
Honestly, I have no need to get married.
So we'll just continue buying
flowers for ourselves. Alright.
- Where's my vase?
- The punch this year is amazing.
Toma!
- What are you doing?!
- Easy!
Peter, I just wanted
to put the flowers in the vase!
What vase?
Toma, dear, you're out of your mind!
It is so heavy, what if you fall
and hurt yourself?
I'll do it myself.
Wow, Toma! Your husband is so sweet,
he literally carries you in his arms.
He gets the vase for you.
Fills it with water. So caring!
How lovey-dovey.
Yulia, make a New Year wish. Then a man will carry you in his arms as well.
Peter!
Put the flowers here.
Last New Year I made a wish.
That Peter would quit drinking.
And that's it - he did it!
So, Yulia, listen and learn.
The President finishes his New Year speech. The Kremlin Clock chimes begin to strike.
As soon as the chimes start, you quickly write down your wish on a paper,
then burn the paper, throw the ashes into a champagne glass,
and finish drinking it before the last chime.
If you do it all correctly,
your wish will definitely come true.
Darling, for your Peter Saturn has been
stuck in house 12 since last year.
Even if he wants to have a drink,
he won't be able to do it.
Look, Yulia, I have put together
your personal horoscope.
Overall it's all really not that bad.
Look, your wheel of fortune is right now moving towards house 5.
And as soon as it gets there,
Venus will immediately be in house 7.
That means husband, children, family,
and overall perfect harmony.
This is all nonsense.
I don't believe in any of it.
So in 8 years the planets will all
line up just right.
- How old are you?
- 35.
So you'll be 43 then.
own destiny.
Of course she should.
As soon as the planets line up,
start making it.
- Yulia!
- What's wrong?
Hey girl, don't be upset.
Who needs men anyways nowadays?
Of course. And it's only 8 years!
Why do keep talking about 8 years?
What's wrong with you?
I'm doing all this for her own good.
- So she doesn't live a lie.
- You talk about it like a prison sentence!
- It's all astrology...
- What astrology?
- This science is 10,000 years old...
- It's not a science at all!
- What's your solution?
- What's yours?
Toma!
Let's put the flowers
on the table?
Peter, leave us alone!
While in Ufa girlfriends were arguing
which is better
to burn paper or use astrology,
in Perm two athletes decided
to find out in a fair battle
who is cooler
a skier or a snowboarder.
What's up?
A great slope, right?
We agreed that I choose.
Or maybe you got the jitters?
Start the count.
Three, two, one.
What are you doing?
You need to count to 5.
OK, let's count to 5.
Yes.
Kolyan became the second link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, Kolyan.
This is Misha from Kazan.
There's something important
I need your help with.
One little girl got herself into a pile of lies,
and now she can't get out of it.
Remember you told me that in Sochi you rode the same slope with the President?
With the President?
Yes, I remember.
Could you ask the President to add a couple of words to his New Year speech?
Actually, I lost the President's phone number.
My SIM card broke.
But I've got the number
of Vera Brezhneva.
She's a big celebrity.
Everyone knows her. She can definitely help.
Thank you.
I'll send you the words in a text message then. Just in case.
- Who called?
- Santa. Let's go.
What do you think,
is Santa a skier or a snowboarder?
- A snowboarder!
- No way! He has a ski stick, got it?
Maybe that's a snowboarding staff? Just imagine Santa riding the snowboard like it's a piece of carton.
- Exactly! It's easier to ride carton than your board.
- Easier to not ride at all, but go to a beach instead!
- Your board is a useless piece of...
- Shut up!
Let's go.
On the count of 5.
One,
two,
Five!
I'm first!
You'll be first
with your girlfriend.
Right now you're second!
Good grief.
Those punks ruined the mailbox.
You killed Mrs. Manya?
What shall we do?
I've read somewhere.
You need to close her nose,
then kiss her,
then she'll come around.
Any other options?
You need to put the skies on her feet
to make it look
like she had a ski accident.
You think someone will believe that granny decided to go skiing down a building staircase on New Year's Eve?
You're right there. Granny would have definitely chosen the snowboard.
What a hoot!
We can call an ambulance.
Exactly!
Why didn't you say that earlier?
Dimwit!
Chief.
Chief.
(singing)
So I poured the vodka into the aquarium...
Drink it, fishies...
Drink it, fishies, a toast to my birthday.
Forget where you are...
Life will seem great...
Dressed as a Santa and his Snow Maiden.
Read the report. They robbed 2 stores
in the last 24 hours.
Enough polish, Petrovich.
Petrovich! Happy New Year!
What's going on?
- What have we got here?
- Let's see.
- Who called?
- Don't know.
Krayevaya, we've got a patient.
What is it?
Unconscious, about 70 years old.
Has pulse, but an eye is missing.
- Where's the eye?
- How would I know?
An eye prosthetic is missing.
How will she watch TV now?
You almost killed Mrs. Manya,
but I'm gonna save a little girl. Know why?
Because a snowboarder
is better than a skier.
- What hospital are they taking her to?
- I think the Krayevaya.
On Pushkin Street.
Vera, the car broke down
and it's -30C outside. Relax.
- Want a candy?
- Fedya, we agreed to only one concert.
You never said anything about the club.
We were supposed to fly out today.
Young man, please, take us to the airport.
Calm down, Vera.
No, we're still going to the club.
What's wrong with you, Vera?
- C'mon, it's okay.
- Nothing is okay!
I'm not some toy.
- Why so moody tonight?
- Keep your hands to yourself, Fyodor.
- My moody little star.
- Stop it.
What's going on?
Why have we stopped?
- It's the generator.
- Damn!
- So what do we do now?
- We need to push the car.
If we push it, it will start.
Hey!
Where are you taking me?
Stop this instant.
- Hello!
- Fedya, I've been kidnapped.
Sunshine... Is he harassing you?
No, not really.
Hey!
I don't get it, where is he taking you?
How would I know?
Where are we going?
- To the airport.
- To the airport.
What damn airport?
Who decided that?
Who decided that?
Bondarev, Pavel Sergeyevich.
Bondarev, Pavel Sergeyevich...
Who is that Bondarev?
Who is that?
That's me.
That's me.
Wait a minute,
what do you mean "me"?
Young man, what are you doing?
- You yourself wanted to go to the airport.
- Since when did you start knowing what I want?
This is the first time I see you.
And I see you every day.
Hello!
What is he saying to you?
Listen, talk to him yourself.
For you.
Speaking.
Bondarev, do you understand that because of you we're being late to the club?
But you had agreed to only one concert.
That's none of your business!
If in the next minute you don't...
Call got dropped.
Alright, Pavel Sergeyevich, that was really funny. But now you need to turn around.
(singing)
I see the password.
I see the sign.
I have faith only in
that love will save the world.
I see the password.
- I see the sign...
- You're singing it wrong.
I know the password.
I see the sign.
I have faith only in
that love will save the world.
I know the password.
I see the sign.
In a river of color
love will save the world.
It's like I'm going through puberty
all over again.
Saw her picture on Facebook
and fell in love.
Just from one photo.
Fell for her hard.
Seriously, I've been waiting
for her all my life.
We've been together only 3 days...
I swear I've never had anything
like this before.
I'm going to pop the question.
(in English)
Will you marry me?
She teaches English.
- Really? - Yes.
- Mine too.
- Jenya.
- Kolya.
Where does yours teach?
At a gymnasium.
On an island.
Vasilyevsky Island?
Yeah, how did you guess?
What's her name?
I even wrote her a song.
Who are you, my dear Olya?
I really love your photos.
The ones where you're in a white bra
Standing next to a tanned bro.
So? Do you like it?
- Bye-bye.
- She doesn't have a boyfriend already?
There was some guy.
Indecisive.
Many years together,
but he never married her.
Let's get a flat first, he said...
car, summer villa...
He's constantly away
on important business trips.
Anyways, she dumped him.
- Did she?
- She did.
There were some problems in bed too.
What problems?
Well, you know, down there...
his boot is not turning out.
Get it?
You said I have problems in bed?
Why don't you try
working for 20 hours a day.
Chicken or fish?
What?
Chicken or fish?
Chicken or fish?
Aren't you afraid
that he's gonna show up?
Who?
That guy...
the busy businessman.
No, I'm not afraid.
Why?
He's away on a business trip.
It's not Yolkin, it's Yolkino.
It's a ski resort.
You came to snowboard there.
I was helping you, remember.
When I come to your resort next time,
I will be sure to call you myself.
Vera became the third link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Listen, you and I are both snowboarders.
We should help each other.
You see, there's this one little girl.
She is completely alone.
And she said that
her dad is the President.
So now everyone is picking on her.
She has only one hope left.
The President of Russia must send a "hello" to her in his New Year speech.
Fyodor probably knows someone that could help. Turn around.
Who would he know? He could care less.
He has connections.
I also have connections.
Unfortunately, all of Pashka's connections in form of police captain Sinitsyn
were now deprived of cell phone
and uniform
that were currently wandering about
the streets of Ekaterinburg.
Excuse me, can I help you?
Yes, tell me, where is your
emergency exit?
Lyosha?
Hey, Alina.
Hi.
Wow, what a surprise encounter!
Yeah, I was also very surprised...
when you disappeared for 5 years.
Alina, listen, I...
I just...
I joined the military.
Straight to the war front. I couldn't call you,
didn't want to upset you.
It's alright.
You've become a policeman?
Yeah, as you can see...
I'm a police captain.
And everyone thought otherwise.
Your phone.
It's the precinct,
they can't do anything without me.
Go ahead, take it.
- Maybe it's important.
- Yeah, sure.
Yeah, hello.
Unknowingly Lyosha became the fourth link in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, uncle Valera, happy New Year!
Hello, Pashka!
Anyways, this one little girl
made a mistake...
And people keep telling her that
miracles don't happen.
Just think who you are
and who he is.
Now she's in big trouble.
So we must relay to the President
to say a particular phrase
in his New Year speech...
- Wait.
- Santa helps those who help themselves.
- Got that?
- Excuse me, who do I relay this to?
The President.
Oh, the President! Yes, of course.
- Will you get that to him?
- Of course I will.
Right there in our precinct...
- We have a direct line to the Kremlin.
- It has to be done fast.
Of course. I'll get back there in 2 hours, I'll call him myself.
- You'll call him yourself?
- Of course I will.
In our office anyone can call him.
Uncle Valera...
what's with your voice?
My voice is fine. I'm just tired.
Okay, that's all.
Pashka, I've gotta run.
Vera, where are you going?
Stop!
Fyodor can help the little girl.
Sorry, Pasha.
I already called,
Sinitsyn has it under control.
- It's all done.
- Who is Sinitsyn?
A police captain, soon to become a major,
he knows a lot of people.
He's got a direct line to the Kremlin.
Vera, I bought us some champagne!
Are you interested in something in particular?
Excuse me, mam, I have
an important matter to discuss.
Something particular.
Let's go out celebrate
New Year together.
It'll be nice.
- Or are you seeing someone already?
- Lyosha, I'm actually at work.
Me too.
We got a tip that
your store is getting robbed.
Stay calm.
Nothing is happening.
What's over there?
Service room.
Show me.
Show me.
Why are you so uptight?
Lyosha!
Help out a police officer.
Any other questions?
Everyone on the floor!
Go, go!
Money! Fast!
Faster! Go!
- We must call the police.
- No, I am the police.
Give it here!
Money, I said!
Where are you going?!
I'll shoot!
Think I won't shoot?!
Who's in there?!
- It's a cop.
- Happy New Year!
On the floor!
Get on the floor, I said!
- On the floor!
- Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Give me the gun!
Everything is okay,
I saved you.
Wanted to steal some money, ha?
Relax, relax.
The police is here.
Face on the floor!
You little creep.
Wait! Listen to me!
I can explain everything.
You scoundrel!
- What are you doing, lady?
- Hands up, criminal!
Me a criminal?
You out of your mind?
You're a thief!
Your face says it all!
What are you waiting for? Grab him!
I'm no thief! He's the robber!
The robbers have already escaped.
The Santa and Snow Maiden.
He saved us from them.
Why did you take them on alone?
You could've been killed!
Your boyfriend is a hero.
I know.
Hero?
Okay then, hero.
What?
Take me to the precinct.
Hero.
Go on.
Sure.
Let him go.
Take the hat. It's state property.
Thank you.
What now?
I will return.
- That's all?
- That's all.
Your girlfriend?
Haven't seen her in 5 years.
I'm an idiot.
Alright.
Let's go, hero.
Back behind bars?
You'll change clothes.
Ladies and gentlemen, our flight has landed at Tolmachevo airport....
in the city of Novosibirsk.
Temperature outside is -20C.
Repeat that.
- Let's go kill ourselves slowly.
- Sure.
Hello, Olya?
Hi.
Listen, hey,
I can't make it.
I have to go to the mayor's house.
There's really big money involved,
I couldn't turn it down.
Sorry.
Of course I'm just joking, Olya.
I'm in Novosibirsk changing flights.
I wrote you a new song,
listen to this.
Who are you, my dear Olya?
I really love your photos.
Hey, pal?
I'm not your pal.
Olya, I'll call you back.
- Is this a joke?
- You're not going anywhere.
Open up, what the hell?
That's it, you are staying here.
- What did you smoke?
- It's my Olya.
It's my Olya.
I'm the busy businessman.
I'm the one with the boot.
It was only a joke.
- What?
- Open up.
We've been together 5 years!
Five!
I won't let...
some internet dork
to come and ruin everything.
She'll be with me!
And everything will be ve-ry good.
She doesn't need you, moron.
- Neither you, nor your earrings.
- I can't hear you.
So you locked me up, problem solved?
Even if I don't fly out today.
I'll fly out tomorrow.
She will still be with me.
She loves me! Hear that?
Busy businessman!
Hello, Olya?
Boris became the fifth link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, bro.
Happy New Year!
Lyosha? Hello.
Listen, Boris, I need your help.
One little girl...
from an orphanage...
She bragged that
her dad is the President.
So now we need to tell
the President to say in his New Year speech:
Santa helps those who help themselves.
- Wish someone could help me.
- What happened?
My Olya is dating someone else.
- Long?
- Long.
I didn't see her just for six months.
Then I call her...
- Caught her cheating?
- No, I kind of figured it out myself.
From all kinds of small things.
Boris, it is never too late
to fix everything.
It's not possible.
It is possible!
I did that today!
I made such a mess,
but I was able fix it.
Just don't be afraid, got it?
In the meantime, New Year was getting closer and closer to the city of Ufa.
Where Yulia was getting ready
to make her wish.
Write, burn paper,
throw in the glass, drink it.
I think that's correct.
Write, burn paper.
Happy New Year!
One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
Five!
Six!
Seven!
Eight!
As soon as she made the wish,
Roma called immediately.
Hello, Roma?
Yulia thought.
But it was not Roma.
It was Boris.
Her colleague from
Yakutsk branch of the company.
Did the President visit your office today?
- Eleven.
- The President?
- Yes, he did. But what happened?
- Twelve!
What happened is that two hours before the New Year in Kaliningrad,
the chain of six handshakes
had almost reached the President.
Boris had called the right person,
but at the wrong time.
I understood you, Boris.
You have just ruined my life.
Can you imagine that? We can first celebrate New Year here, then jet to Bavly...
- and celebrate it there all over again.
- Awesome!
New Year twice!
Yulia?
Yulia!
Where are you going?
Yulia!
Where are you going?
Can you explain?
Did we upset you? Please forgive us!
Yulia, please, forgive us!
Excellent punch, Peter!
Wait!
Stop! Stop!
UFA to BAVLY - 197km
Stop! Stop!
Let's try it this way.
Are you trying to get killed?
- Take me to Bavly.
- Where?
I'll pay 1,000 rubles. 2,000? 3,000?
How much do you need? 10,000?
I'm not a taxi driver.
I'm a fireman.
I have a fire!
My life is burning down.
It is already New Year in half of the country.
What if the message didn't get to him?
It probably got to him.
He already recorded his speech, right?
Technically, he could record a different speech for a particular part of the country.
Varya.
We are in the most westward city.
After Moscow he has a whole hour to record a new speech. And it only takes a couple of minutes.
It's a small world.
I'm not letting you have her.
Aren't you too late?
It is never too late.
Most importantly I must drink all the ashes before clock strikes 12.
- And because of this nonsense...?
- My Venus is in house 12.
Don't know about your Venus,
but you're definitely a nut case.
If you told me this at the beginning,
I would have taken you to the circus.
Just get me to Bavly first.
After that the circus, the opera, whatever.
I'm not gonna take you anywhere.
I will turn around and
go back home.
It's the New Year after all, a holiday,
and here I am stuck with you.
- Maybe somebody is waiting for me at home.
- Oh really?
Then stop the car.
I will get out and walk on foot,
and you can go wherever.
Get out.
You need to find a good man.
And not chase after superstitions.
Hello! Happy New Year.
Yusuf worked as a handyman
at the orphanage.
I want to send money home.
Enter the recipient's account number.
All his earnings Yusuf sent back home
to Ashgabat.
Enter the amount.
Or at least most of them.
Can I keep 299 rubles?
Thank you.
- Your order.
- Happy New Year, miss! - You too!
And once a year Yusuf had
his own little holiday.
But this time...
Destiny had a surprise for him.
Miss, I'm sorry.
Could you change it, please.
Why go so far to look?
Maybe it's better
to look around you?
Look right. Look left.
I've looked already.
There aren't any.
No good men anywhere.
(song on radio)
Love me the French way,
Since this is so inevitable,
As if you are my very first
As if you are my most gentle.
To make up for everything that was too early,
To make up for everything that was too little
Love me the French way.
I always needed you.
Igor, happy New Year.
This is Yulia Mihailovna.
Remember, you came to
our factory yesterday?
Yulia had called Igor.
An employee
of the President's Cabinet.
There is one little girl.
She is very unlucky.
But she keeps fighting.
And she has almost reached the President.
This phone call could have been the decisive one in the chain of six handshakes,
if it hadn't been for Yusuf.
I understand, but I not Igor.
Wait, where is Igor?
Those immigrants!
Let's go.
Bro, where are you?
Where are you?
KRAYEVAYA HOSPITAL
Good thing I brought a scarf.
Shush, drunk.
You'll scare everyone here.
New Year is coming...
- How can I help you?
- Hello.
Did anyone check in an old lady?
- Mrs. Manya.
- Yes, Mrs. Manya.
About 70 years old.
Yes, they did.
How is she?
You should sit down.
She is no longer with us.
She died?
In some sense she is...
Her head and limbs are okay, but...
Anyways, I had to send her
to the psychiatry unit.
Why?
You see she...
she keeps saying that on the staircase of her home she was hit by a skier.
Hallucinations.
Hallucinations!
Seems like she fell really hard.
Hey, guys.
Who are you to her?
Us?
Nobody.
Yeah, we're nobody.
Happy New Year!
Okay, start the hurricane.
Ready. Set. Go. 5, 4...
Yeah, start.
- Should I call?
- Yes, call!
- I want to hold the board.
- Start now.
- Hello, wave master!
- Hi, Lena!
- I am happy to see you.
- Me too.
We're having a category 8 hurricane here,
excellent weather for surfing.
Misha, maybe you shouldn't?
It sounds dangerous!
I can't hear anything!
Enjoy it! Like I promised!
Misha, wait!
Buenos noches, senorita.
(speaking in Spanish)
[From a Spanish Phrase Book.]
My luggage has been stolen.
[From a Spanish Phrase Book.]
I need to call police.
(in Spanish)
I'm really sorry!
Did you lose something of value?
Misha, Misha, Misha!
Lena, did you see?!
- Guys, I need my ironing board back.
- Just like I promised!
You were great.
Happy New Year!
Misha, give me back my ironing board!
You ruined my ironing board!
Lena!
Lena!
There is no Cuba, I'm just an ordinary college student.
I was just afraid that
you would not want to talk to me.
Lena, I know that
you and I will never meet,
but you must know that...
Lena...
Misha, wait!
Please, don't go.
Tell me where you are?
How do I find you?
Oh! I have no pen or paper with me.
No blank ones, tear off a half.
Thanks a lot.
- Happy New Year.
- It won't work.
Hello.
Excuse me, please.
Four.
Five.
She's making a wish.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Hurray!
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
Please, excuse me.
Excuse me for barging in like this.
- Stay!
- No, no, I can't.
I'll be heading back.
And do forgive me, please.
Yulia realized that she had burned the wrong half of the paper.
And her wish was never made.
Everything had been in vain.
Hello, Ibrahim! It's me, Yusuf!
I need to help one little girl.
She's in real trouble.
You are on Red Square.
He is on Red Square.
Who would have thought that out of everyone it would be Yusuf
who would have a man in the Kremlin.
...who help themselves.
Got the words?!
What are you talking about, Yusuf?
He's way out of my reach.
Sorry, Yusuf. Lots of snow to shovel,
gotta get to work.
Mr. Yusuf.
Who were you talking to?
I have a friend in Moscow.
He works as a street cleaner.
Asked him find the President,
say a big Hello to a little girl.
I feel sorry for her,
kids are picking on her.
Little girl. Varya?
Yes, Varya. How do you know, little devil?
The chain has closed.
Has something happened?
What happened?
Thank you.
I let you down.
He didn't get the message?
Why did I ever listen to you?!
A street cleaner got the message!
Why did you not tell me anything?
I would have called the Minister of Education.
Six handshakes? Six handshakes, ha?
Actually, no, I would not have called
because this is all nonsense.
How did it go?
Well, actually...
I burned the wrong half of the paper.
I told you it wouldn't work.
What was on that paper?
An X-ray referral.
A what?
My partner twisted his leg badly.
So he was due for an X-Ray.
You find it funny?
Know what?
How are you?
My leg.
It worked.
[President's daughter.]
Is it true that your dad is the President?
You all look so beautiful.
Let's go, Varya.
Take a seat.
Quiet, everyone!
Dear friends.
On this night I have a few special minutes,
when I can address each and every one of you.
Quiet, quiet.
Children, stay quiet.
Everything is alright.
Go away.
Varya, stop beating up the boys.
Let's all go back to the big room.
Yura, I didn't expect this from you.
Forgive me, Varya.
I wasn't able to help you.
Wait. No, you should forgive me.
Let's go.
We want you to be happy.
May the dearest and closest friends...
be near you tonight.
Only a few moments left now.
It's time to make a wish.
May your most sacred wishes come true.
But, as people say,
"Santa helps those who help themselves."
Happy New Year!
What was that?
It worked.
Happy New Year, my dears!
Happy New Year!
A familiar face.
- Did you find your snow-maiden?
- Would you like some champagne?
Happy New Year!
Mrs. Manya, still do tell us..
Who is better?
A skier or a snowboarder?
I had a skier once.
He was definitely better.
What? Better than a snowboarder?
Better than my old man.
May the Lord forgive me.
Misha, over here!
Lena?
Misha?
The mountains.
The Cubans.
Hello.
Hello.
Yulia!
My God, what has happened?
Nothing too bad.
The X-Ray showed a twisted leg.
What did Yulia wish for?
For a man to carry her in his arms.
Carry her inside.
Come on in.
Come join us!
Olya.
You must make a choice.
It's either him or me.
You must decide this right now.
It's your choice, Olya.
Yeah.
Choose.
Me or him?
Olya, I love you.
- I love you very much.
- I love you too.
Boris, who is this?
I still keep wondering...
how did the message ever get to him?
Let's stay children forever,
May love keep our home safe.
Let's create our own special world,
And run away there together...
Your love is like the first snow.
It will shelter our magic garden.
I gently touch your hair,
And I whisper
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Let's hide our tracks,
So no one can find us.
While love is saving the world
With the glimmer of crystal notes.
Your eyes create light,
Mine save your warmth.
I will share with you a secret,
And I will whisper
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Let's believe in miracles from early childhood onwards.
Hug each other to save the warmth.
Transferring heat from one heart to another
Giving it to strangers who live close to us.
From Yakutsk to St. Peter - to be together...
In the name of love cross the entire world.
In search of dreams and happiness...
I will whisper to you
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
SUBTITLES WRITTEN BY:
Katia Kutyavina (Seattle, WA, USA)
Not so many holidays are celebrated nation-wide in Russia.
Usually it's any win for Russia's national soccer team and the New Years Eve.
Since the second happens so much more often that's the one our story will be about.
It just so happens that Russia stretches across the globe with 9 time zones.
When Olivie salad is already being eaten in Vladivostok,
someone is only starting to cut the vegetables for it in Kaliningrad.
Our story begins here in Kaliningrad, the most westward city.
Here, where children have to wait for Santa the longest time,
our story begins.
Oreshkin, where the heck are you?
- Need a hand with that?
- Get lost!
I need a hand over here.
Sure.
Murom!
Moscow.
Arkhangelsk.
Kaluga.
- Ashgabat.
- Yusuf, Ashgabat is not a Russian city.
My daughter lives there,
she's growing up so fast.
Look! He's here!
We are playing "Cities" here,
your city starts with "N."
Novosibirsk.
- Kineshma!
- What?
You're a "Kineshma"!
My dad has been there.
How could he have been there, when you said he was in Ufa earlier.
Not Ufa, but in Finland.
Finland? She said he was in Yakutsk!
My stepdad sent me some chocolate covered pineapples.
Why didn't you say anything?
- Bring them here!
- OK, one second.
Look, what's in the newspaper!
President of Russia visits cities on the Volga River.
And he paid special attention
to the city of Kineshma.
Let me see that.
On December 27th the President went to Sochi to meet with the mayor.
And then he went to Ufa, Yakutsk, Finland.
On 30th December the President went to Finland.
What does this mean?
She made it all up. She took everything from the newspaper.
She looked at where the President went and told us that her dad went there.
- And we all fell for it.
- How could she have done that?
He is my father.
Huh?!
I just could not talk about it.
Great! Then have your daddy say something to you during his New Years Eve speech.
Something like: "Hello, Varya!"
He can't say that on TV.
Well then...
then have him say...
"Santa helps those who help themselves!"
Otherwise no one will ever speak to you.
Nobody... ever again!
- OK. He will say it.
- We'll see...
Vova had no idea
how to help poor Varya.
Is it even possible to change the New Year Eve speech of the President of Russia?
Meanwhile, at the other end of the country
in the far away sunny city of Yakutsk
a man who could possibly help Vova was exiting the sauna.
Boris, aren't you scared that your Olya...
- would leave you for another man?
- Why would she?
Well, she'll have to celebrate the New Year with someone else.
The person you spend New Years with is who you will be with for the rest of the year.
For 6 months Boris has not been to St. Petersburg and has not seen his girlfriend.
Hey, Olya? Hi!
Guess what happened
earlier today?
Yesterday the President visited Ufa,
and our stocks immediately! Immediately!
Immediately jumped up by 15 percent...
But that's not the main thing.
The main thing that now I...
I will be back not on April 20th,
but on the 4th of March.
Olya, we've been through this a thousand times. I'm not doing it for myself.
It's for both of us.
Celebrate just this once without me,
and I will be back soon.
- Everything will be what?
- Everything will be ve-ry good.
I deposited some money into your account, buy yourself something...
something really nice.
By the way, will you be celebrating
with Antomonovs?
No.
But don't worry, I have somebody
to celebrate with.
What do you mean?
Olya, I didn't get that.
Olya, are you seeing someone?
Boris, sorry, I think the battery is dying.
Olya!
Her battery is dying...
- Olya!
- The number cannot be reached...
Very well.
Hey, accountants!
Where are you guys going?
We decided to take a holiday!
Wanna come with us?
Stop! Stop!
- Hey... I need to go to...
- To the airport?
Yes!
Quickly please.
Boris kept on hoping that Olya
still loves him and is waiting for him.
But the taxi cab driver Pasha from Krasnoyarsk...
... had nothing to hope for.
Think about it...
We'll be having some really hot
snow maidens over there.
Not enough Santas though.
I'll give my season's greetings
to 2-3 snow maidens,
but there's too many for me
to make all of them happy.
No, I have my own snow maiden.
Hold on.
That's Vera Brezhneva!
Give me a break!
I had the same thing when I was a kid.
I had a crush on Mila Jovovich!
C'mon, are you serious?
So just how do you see her being with you?
You just drive down the road one day...
And, wow! There she is just standing
on the side of the road.
"Can you get me to club Nirvana, chief?
I'm late for my show."
Tough case.
Miracles don't happen.
Hey chief, to club Nirvana fast.
We're running late...
Can you do that? Great!
Seems like Pasha finally caught
lady luck by the tail.
Meanwhile in Ekaterinburg...
Pasha's uncle, the police captain Sinitsyn,
caught someone else...
for something else.
Hey Ravil!
I let the boys off to go get food.
They will book him, when they come back.
With all due respect sir
why do you put an innocent man...
behind bars on New Year's Eve?
Is that fair?
Look at you talk! Fair!
You robbing the jewelry store...
in my district...
on New Year's Eve
is that fair?
They won't promote you to major
for this anyway.
I am not guilty, you know that.
You don't even have any evidence.
- The sales clerk pointed right at you.
- I was just getting a gift for my friends.
Your friends are eating dead meat in the ditch.
So why did you not buy it?
- With what?
- Then why were you there?
- Just checking out price.
- So was the price right?
Let's go.
I'm going to make the money and buy it later.
I am looking for a job right now.
- Why don't you believe me?
- It's raining.
- Can you hear it?
- No.
You can't? That's because
it's not really raining. Know why?
It's the jail missing you and crying.
- Not funny.
- But it's true!
Zaitsev, you are a thief.
Your face says it all.
And where should a thief be?
That's right.
I didn't take that necklace.
Beautiful.
That night Lyosha Zaitsev
was not the only one to get caught.
In the city of Ufa Yulia's fiance
was caught up in work
by his enormous love of work.
Meanwhile Yulia went to buy
her fiance's favorite champagne.
- Oh, I'm sorry!
- Sorry!
Happy New Year!
OK, see you at 10.
OK, bye.
Dear girls, no need to despair, if one day
you come across one of these fake fiances.
Because only a real man
will be able to change your life.
- Varya, I know what we need to do.
- So do I.
No one will ever see me here again.
- No, for the President to say those words!
- Yeah right!
There is a theory of the six handshakes.
All people in this world know each other through six people.
Look here!
This is you.
This is the President.
You know someone.
He knows someone else.
He knows someone,
and he knows someone.
And eventually you can reach the President.
Get it?
You don't believe me.
Alright.
Who to start the chain of six handshakes with?
There was no time to think,
and Vova decided to go with random chance.
The choice fell on Misha, a former child from the orphanage now temporarily residing...
...in Cuba.
Hey, Misha.
Misha, are you there?
You really thought I was a bear?
No, not really,
I just thought you were so...
uppity since you drive a Bentley.
But you are such a funny guy!
That is why I moved to Cuba...
because all that glamour, expensive cars, business, parties in Saint-Tropez with rap celebrities,
I am so sick of it all!
I wanted to go somewhere far away
and have some privacy.
Only please don't tell anyone
that I know rap singers.
Because I'm ashamed
to be acquainted with them.
I totally understand you. I myself asked my parents to send me to Switzerland...
because it's so peaceful here.
It was. Until I came there!
Was that a dinosaur?
We don't have those over here.
Though it would be great,
if you came here to see me.
Seriously?
Oh, hey, excuse me,
my phone is ringing.
Sure. I hear.
It's work related. Give me a second.
Yes.
Misha became the first link
in the chain of six handshakes.
You must help me!
This is very important!
My friend Varya has told everyone
that her father is the President.
And that he will say "hello" to her
during his New Years Eve speech...
in the form of a code message.
But in reality Varya
does not have a father.
That is why we must ask the President
to say those words to her.
Ask the President?
Sure, the President will say it,
no problem.
OK, so long, wrap up the call,
this is long distance after all.
Hey, hold on.
Write down the code words.
Code words? Sure.
"Santa helps those who help themselves."
I'll get it to the President.
Alright, bye.
Thank you.
We are counting on you.
Get that to him. Yes.
Pass it down the chain.
We all believe in you.
Good luck.
There you go!
- Oreshkin, you are a fool.
- What?
It won't work.
The chain has started.
I had just called a very serious man.
- Really? Like that changes anything.
- Why won't you understand?
The system will work!
It will make it to the President.
To the President?
Yeah, my people in the government are having some issues, I need to help them out.
Misha, let's make a deal.
No matter what happens
we will never lie to each other.
- Sure.
- Sure, only the truth!
And nothing but the truth.
Listen, I have to run now,
my students are here for surfing lessons.
- Promise that you will show me how you surf.
- I'll show you, I promise.
- Looking forward to it!
- OK, bye.
Misha's "Cuba" turned out to be just a college dorm room in the Russian city of Kazan.
New Year is around the corner and we have some huts in our bedroom.
We're living on a beach like some natives.
What's up with that?
Because of you guys I had to make a promise
that I can't possibly fulfill!
Because of us?!
Because of you we can't live
in our own dorm for the last 3 months.
So your Swiss girl won't figure you out.
You should have told her the truth long ago.
If she dumps you, so be it.
Guys, help me out this one last time!
Help me show Lena that I am surfing.
Surfing where? Here?
You're out of your mind...
Misha, you don't have a choice.
You will have to tell her the truth.
- Happy New Year, neighbor.
- No thanks.
Take it, I have more.
Excuse me, young men...
we don't allow consuming
alcoholic beverages on our flights,
except for those that we sell.
Miss, when you get angry,
you look so sexy.
Fine, but do it quietly,
so no one sees you.
Thanks, beautiful.
- That was smooth.
- Yakutsk Acting School.
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
To St. Petersburg? On tour?
Yeah. To see my girlfriend.
And you?
Yeah, me too...
to see my girlfriend.
"Forgive me."
"Coming to see you. Flight number..."
You did her wrong?
What?
It happens.
What happens?
I did nothing wrong.
Just working like a horse.
To making sure she has everything she wants.
Nice car, nice house, nice earrings...
- From Tiffany?
- For instance.
And her phone battery goes dead.
Attention...
What?
Girls need our attention.
Or else...
Hey, darling...
Listen, I'm running late today. Can you go out with your girlfriends tonight?
And don't talk to me for the next 30 years while I'm working.
- And then everything will be ve-ry good.
- Oh c'mon!
Don't start with all that.
Girls need us to be there with them.
If you're not there with her,
someone else will be.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
Dad!
Guess what I read on the internet?
- What, son?
- That Bavly is in a different time zone.
It is 2 hours behind us.
We could first celebrate New Year here,
then jet to Bavly...
and celebrate New Year there all over again.
That's great!
Peter, come help with the bags.
Don't just stand there.
Go help with the bags.
Peter, what are you doing there?
Can you imagine?
Bavly is in a different time zone.
They are 2 hours behind us.
So we could celebrate New Year at home first,
then go to Bavly...
- And do it there all over again.
- That's nice.
- Bring the fruit punch, would you?
- Sure.
Yulia, don't get upset.
You'll find yourself another fiance.
Girls, I really don't need anyone.
Honestly, I have no need to get married.
So we'll just continue buying
flowers for ourselves. Alright.
- Where's my vase?
- The punch this year is amazing.
Toma!
- What are you doing?!
- Easy!
Peter, I just wanted
to put the flowers in the vase!
What vase?
Toma, dear, you're out of your mind!
It is so heavy, what if you fall
and hurt yourself?
I'll do it myself.
Wow, Toma! Your husband is so sweet,
he literally carries you in his arms.
He gets the vase for you.
Fills it with water. So caring!
How lovey-dovey.
Yulia, make a New Year wish. Then a man will carry you in his arms as well.
Peter!
Put the flowers here.
Last New Year I made a wish.
That Peter would quit drinking.
And that's it - he did it!
So, Yulia, listen and learn.
The President finishes his New Year speech. The Kremlin Clock chimes begin to strike.
As soon as the chimes start, you quickly write down your wish on a paper,
then burn the paper, throw the ashes into a champagne glass,
and finish drinking it before the last chime.
If you do it all correctly,
your wish will definitely come true.
Darling, for your Peter Saturn has been
stuck in house 12 since last year.
Even if he wants to have a drink,
he won't be able to do it.
Look, Yulia, I have put together
your personal horoscope.
Overall it's all really not that bad.
Look, your wheel of fortune is right now moving towards house 5.
And as soon as it gets there,
Venus will immediately be in house 7.
That means husband, children, family,
and overall perfect harmony.
This is all nonsense.
I don't believe in any of it.
So in 8 years the planets will all
line up just right.
- How old are you?
- 35.
So you'll be 43 then.
own destiny.
Of course she should.
As soon as the planets line up,
start making it.
- Yulia!
- What's wrong?
Hey girl, don't be upset.
Who needs men anyways nowadays?
Of course. And it's only 8 years!
Why do keep talking about 8 years?
What's wrong with you?
I'm doing all this for her own good.
- So she doesn't live a lie.
- You talk about it like a prison sentence!
- It's all astrology...
- What astrology?
- This science is 10,000 years old...
- It's not a science at all!
- What's your solution?
- What's yours?
Toma!
Let's put the flowers
on the table?
Peter, leave us alone!
While in Ufa girlfriends were arguing
which is better
to burn paper or use astrology,
in Perm two athletes decided
to find out in a fair battle
who is cooler
a skier or a snowboarder.
What's up?
A great slope, right?
We agreed that I choose.
Or maybe you got the jitters?
Start the count.
Three, two, one.
What are you doing?
You need to count to 5.
OK, let's count to 5.
Yes.
Kolyan became the second link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, Kolyan.
This is Misha from Kazan.
There's something important
I need your help with.
One little girl got herself into a pile of lies,
and now she can't get out of it.
Remember you told me that in Sochi you rode the same slope with the President?
With the President?
Yes, I remember.
Could you ask the President to add a couple of words to his New Year speech?
Actually, I lost the President's phone number.
My SIM card broke.
But I've got the number
of Vera Brezhneva.
She's a big celebrity.
Everyone knows her. She can definitely help.
Thank you.
I'll send you the words in a text message then. Just in case.
- Who called?
- Santa. Let's go.
What do you think,
is Santa a skier or a snowboarder?
- A snowboarder!
- No way! He has a ski stick, got it?
Maybe that's a snowboarding staff? Just imagine Santa riding the snowboard like it's a piece of carton.
- Exactly! It's easier to ride carton than your board.
- Easier to not ride at all, but go to a beach instead!
- Your board is a useless piece of...
- Shut up!
Let's go.
On the count of 5.
One,
two,
Five!
I'm first!
You'll be first
with your girlfriend.
Right now you're second!
Good grief.
Those punks ruined the mailbox.
You killed Mrs. Manya?
What shall we do?
I've read somewhere.
You need to close her nose,
then kiss her,
then she'll come around.
Any other options?
You need to put the skies on her feet
to make it look
like she had a ski accident.
You think someone will believe that granny decided to go skiing down a building staircase on New Year's Eve?
You're right there. Granny would have definitely chosen the snowboard.
What a hoot!
We can call an ambulance.
Exactly!
Why didn't you say that earlier?
Dimwit!
Chief.
Chief.
(singing)
So I poured the vodka into the aquarium...
Drink it, fishies...
Drink it, fishies, a toast to my birthday.
Forget where you are...
Life will seem great...
Dressed as a Santa and his Snow Maiden.
Read the report. They robbed 2 stores
in the last 24 hours.
Enough polish, Petrovich.
Petrovich! Happy New Year!
What's going on?
- What have we got here?
- Let's see.
- Who called?
- Don't know.
Krayevaya, we've got a patient.
What is it?
Unconscious, about 70 years old.
Has pulse, but an eye is missing.
- Where's the eye?
- How would I know?
An eye prosthetic is missing.
How will she watch TV now?
You almost killed Mrs. Manya,
but I'm gonna save a little girl. Know why?
Because a snowboarder
is better than a skier.
- What hospital are they taking her to?
- I think the Krayevaya.
On Pushkin Street.
Vera, the car broke down
and it's -30C outside. Relax.
- Want a candy?
- Fedya, we agreed to only one concert.
You never said anything about the club.
We were supposed to fly out today.
Young man, please, take us to the airport.
Calm down, Vera.
No, we're still going to the club.
What's wrong with you, Vera?
- C'mon, it's okay.
- Nothing is okay!
I'm not some toy.
- Why so moody tonight?
- Keep your hands to yourself, Fyodor.
- My moody little star.
- Stop it.
What's going on?
Why have we stopped?
- It's the generator.
- Damn!
- So what do we do now?
- We need to push the car.
If we push it, it will start.
Hey!
Where are you taking me?
Stop this instant.
- Hello!
- Fedya, I've been kidnapped.
Sunshine... Is he harassing you?
No, not really.
Hey!
I don't get it, where is he taking you?
How would I know?
Where are we going?
- To the airport.
- To the airport.
What damn airport?
Who decided that?
Who decided that?
Bondarev, Pavel Sergeyevich.
Bondarev, Pavel Sergeyevich...
Who is that Bondarev?
Who is that?
That's me.
That's me.
Wait a minute,
what do you mean "me"?
Young man, what are you doing?
- You yourself wanted to go to the airport.
- Since when did you start knowing what I want?
This is the first time I see you.
And I see you every day.
Hello!
What is he saying to you?
Listen, talk to him yourself.
For you.
Speaking.
Bondarev, do you understand that because of you we're being late to the club?
But you had agreed to only one concert.
That's none of your business!
If in the next minute you don't...
Call got dropped.
Alright, Pavel Sergeyevich, that was really funny. But now you need to turn around.
(singing)
I see the password.
I see the sign.
I have faith only in
that love will save the world.
I see the password.
- I see the sign...
- You're singing it wrong.
I know the password.
I see the sign.
I have faith only in
that love will save the world.
I know the password.
I see the sign.
In a river of color
love will save the world.
It's like I'm going through puberty
all over again.
Saw her picture on Facebook
and fell in love.
Just from one photo.
Fell for her hard.
Seriously, I've been waiting
for her all my life.
We've been together only 3 days...
I swear I've never had anything
like this before.
I'm going to pop the question.
(in English)
Will you marry me?
She teaches English.
- Really? - Yes.
- Mine too.
- Jenya.
- Kolya.
Where does yours teach?
At a gymnasium.
On an island.
Vasilyevsky Island?
Yeah, how did you guess?
What's her name?
I even wrote her a song.
Who are you, my dear Olya?
I really love your photos.
The ones where you're in a white bra
Standing next to a tanned bro.
So? Do you like it?
- Bye-bye.
- She doesn't have a boyfriend already?
There was some guy.
Indecisive.
Many years together,
but he never married her.
Let's get a flat first, he said...
car, summer villa...
He's constantly away
on important business trips.
Anyways, she dumped him.
- Did she?
- She did.
There were some problems in bed too.
What problems?
Well, you know, down there...
his boot is not turning out.
Get it?
You said I have problems in bed?
Why don't you try
working for 20 hours a day.
Chicken or fish?
What?
Chicken or fish?
Chicken or fish?
Aren't you afraid
that he's gonna show up?
Who?
That guy...
the busy businessman.
No, I'm not afraid.
Why?
He's away on a business trip.
It's not Yolkin, it's Yolkino.
It's a ski resort.
You came to snowboard there.
I was helping you, remember.
When I come to your resort next time,
I will be sure to call you myself.
Vera became the third link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Listen, you and I are both snowboarders.
We should help each other.
You see, there's this one little girl.
She is completely alone.
And she said that
her dad is the President.
So now everyone is picking on her.
She has only one hope left.
The President of Russia must send a "hello" to her in his New Year speech.
Fyodor probably knows someone that could help. Turn around.
Who would he know? He could care less.
He has connections.
I also have connections.
Unfortunately, all of Pashka's connections in form of police captain Sinitsyn
were now deprived of cell phone
and uniform
that were currently wandering about
the streets of Ekaterinburg.
Excuse me, can I help you?
Yes, tell me, where is your
emergency exit?
Lyosha?
Hey, Alina.
Hi.
Wow, what a surprise encounter!
Yeah, I was also very surprised...
when you disappeared for 5 years.
Alina, listen, I...
I just...
I joined the military.
Straight to the war front. I couldn't call you,
didn't want to upset you.
It's alright.
You've become a policeman?
Yeah, as you can see...
I'm a police captain.
And everyone thought otherwise.
Your phone.
It's the precinct,
they can't do anything without me.
Go ahead, take it.
- Maybe it's important.
- Yeah, sure.
Yeah, hello.
Unknowingly Lyosha became the fourth link in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, uncle Valera, happy New Year!
Hello, Pashka!
Anyways, this one little girl
made a mistake...
And people keep telling her that
miracles don't happen.
Just think who you are
and who he is.
Now she's in big trouble.
So we must relay to the President
to say a particular phrase
in his New Year speech...
- Wait.
- Santa helps those who help themselves.
- Got that?
- Excuse me, who do I relay this to?
The President.
Oh, the President! Yes, of course.
- Will you get that to him?
- Of course I will.
Right there in our precinct...
- We have a direct line to the Kremlin.
- It has to be done fast.
Of course. I'll get back there in 2 hours, I'll call him myself.
- You'll call him yourself?
- Of course I will.
In our office anyone can call him.
Uncle Valera...
what's with your voice?
My voice is fine. I'm just tired.
Okay, that's all.
Pashka, I've gotta run.
Vera, where are you going?
Stop!
Fyodor can help the little girl.
Sorry, Pasha.
I already called,
Sinitsyn has it under control.
- It's all done.
- Who is Sinitsyn?
A police captain, soon to become a major,
he knows a lot of people.
He's got a direct line to the Kremlin.
Vera, I bought us some champagne!
Are you interested in something in particular?
Excuse me, mam, I have
an important matter to discuss.
Something particular.
Let's go out celebrate
New Year together.
It'll be nice.
- Or are you seeing someone already?
- Lyosha, I'm actually at work.
Me too.
We got a tip that
your store is getting robbed.
Stay calm.
Nothing is happening.
What's over there?
Service room.
Show me.
Show me.
Why are you so uptight?
Lyosha!
Help out a police officer.
Any other questions?
Everyone on the floor!
Go, go!
Money! Fast!
Faster! Go!
- We must call the police.
- No, I am the police.
Give it here!
Money, I said!
Where are you going?!
I'll shoot!
Think I won't shoot?!
Who's in there?!
- It's a cop.
- Happy New Year!
On the floor!
Get on the floor, I said!
- On the floor!
- Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Give me the gun!
Everything is okay,
I saved you.
Wanted to steal some money, ha?
Relax, relax.
The police is here.
Face on the floor!
You little creep.
Wait! Listen to me!
I can explain everything.
You scoundrel!
- What are you doing, lady?
- Hands up, criminal!
Me a criminal?
You out of your mind?
You're a thief!
Your face says it all!
What are you waiting for? Grab him!
I'm no thief! He's the robber!
The robbers have already escaped.
The Santa and Snow Maiden.
He saved us from them.
Why did you take them on alone?
You could've been killed!
Your boyfriend is a hero.
I know.
Hero?
Okay then, hero.
What?
Take me to the precinct.
Hero.
Go on.
Sure.
Let him go.
Take the hat. It's state property.
Thank you.
What now?
I will return.
- That's all?
- That's all.
Your girlfriend?
Haven't seen her in 5 years.
I'm an idiot.
Alright.
Let's go, hero.
Back behind bars?
You'll change clothes.
Ladies and gentlemen, our flight has landed at Tolmachevo airport....
in the city of Novosibirsk.
Temperature outside is -20C.
Repeat that.
- Let's go kill ourselves slowly.
- Sure.
Hello, Olya?
Hi.
Listen, hey,
I can't make it.
I have to go to the mayor's house.
There's really big money involved,
I couldn't turn it down.
Sorry.
Of course I'm just joking, Olya.
I'm in Novosibirsk changing flights.
I wrote you a new song,
listen to this.
Who are you, my dear Olya?
I really love your photos.
Hey, pal?
I'm not your pal.
Olya, I'll call you back.
- Is this a joke?
- You're not going anywhere.
Open up, what the hell?
That's it, you are staying here.
- What did you smoke?
- It's my Olya.
It's my Olya.
I'm the busy businessman.
I'm the one with the boot.
It was only a joke.
- What?
- Open up.
We've been together 5 years!
Five!
I won't let...
some internet dork
to come and ruin everything.
She'll be with me!
And everything will be ve-ry good.
She doesn't need you, moron.
- Neither you, nor your earrings.
- I can't hear you.
So you locked me up, problem solved?
Even if I don't fly out today.
I'll fly out tomorrow.
She will still be with me.
She loves me! Hear that?
Busy businessman!
Hello, Olya?
Boris became the fifth link
in the chain of six handshakes.
Hello, bro.
Happy New Year!
Lyosha? Hello.
Listen, Boris, I need your help.
One little girl...
from an orphanage...
She bragged that
her dad is the President.
So now we need to tell
the President to say in his New Year speech:
Santa helps those who help themselves.
- Wish someone could help me.
- What happened?
My Olya is dating someone else.
- Long?
- Long.
I didn't see her just for six months.
Then I call her...
- Caught her cheating?
- No, I kind of figured it out myself.
From all kinds of small things.
Boris, it is never too late
to fix everything.
It's not possible.
It is possible!
I did that today!
I made such a mess,
but I was able fix it.
Just don't be afraid, got it?
In the meantime, New Year was getting closer and closer to the city of Ufa.
Where Yulia was getting ready
to make her wish.
Write, burn paper,
throw in the glass, drink it.
I think that's correct.
Write, burn paper.
Happy New Year!
One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
Five!
Six!
Seven!
Eight!
As soon as she made the wish,
Roma called immediately.
Hello, Roma?
Yulia thought.
But it was not Roma.
It was Boris.
Her colleague from
Yakutsk branch of the company.
Did the President visit your office today?
- Eleven.
- The President?
- Yes, he did. But what happened?
- Twelve!
What happened is that two hours before the New Year in Kaliningrad,
the chain of six handshakes
had almost reached the President.
Boris had called the right person,
but at the wrong time.
I understood you, Boris.
You have just ruined my life.
Can you imagine that? We can first celebrate New Year here, then jet to Bavly...
- and celebrate it there all over again.
- Awesome!
New Year twice!
Yulia?
Yulia!
Where are you going?
Yulia!
Where are you going?
Can you explain?
Did we upset you? Please forgive us!
Yulia, please, forgive us!
Excellent punch, Peter!
Wait!
Stop! Stop!
UFA to BAVLY - 197km
Stop! Stop!
Let's try it this way.
Are you trying to get killed?
- Take me to Bavly.
- Where?
I'll pay 1,000 rubles. 2,000? 3,000?
How much do you need? 10,000?
I'm not a taxi driver.
I'm a fireman.
I have a fire!
My life is burning down.
It is already New Year in half of the country.
What if the message didn't get to him?
It probably got to him.
He already recorded his speech, right?
Technically, he could record a different speech for a particular part of the country.
Varya.
We are in the most westward city.
After Moscow he has a whole hour to record a new speech. And it only takes a couple of minutes.
It's a small world.
I'm not letting you have her.
Aren't you too late?
It is never too late.
Most importantly I must drink all the ashes before clock strikes 12.
- And because of this nonsense...?
- My Venus is in house 12.
Don't know about your Venus,
but you're definitely a nut case.
If you told me this at the beginning,
I would have taken you to the circus.
Just get me to Bavly first.
After that the circus, the opera, whatever.
I'm not gonna take you anywhere.
I will turn around and
go back home.
It's the New Year after all, a holiday,
and here I am stuck with you.
- Maybe somebody is waiting for me at home.
- Oh really?
Then stop the car.
I will get out and walk on foot,
and you can go wherever.
Get out.
You need to find a good man.
And not chase after superstitions.
Hello! Happy New Year.
Yusuf worked as a handyman
at the orphanage.
I want to send money home.
Enter the recipient's account number.
All his earnings Yusuf sent back home
to Ashgabat.
Enter the amount.
Or at least most of them.
Can I keep 299 rubles?
Thank you.
- Your order.
- Happy New Year, miss! - You too!
And once a year Yusuf had
his own little holiday.
But this time...
Destiny had a surprise for him.
Miss, I'm sorry.
Could you change it, please.
Why go so far to look?
Maybe it's better
to look around you?
Look right. Look left.
I've looked already.
There aren't any.
No good men anywhere.
(song on radio)
Love me the French way,
Since this is so inevitable,
As if you are my very first
As if you are my most gentle.
To make up for everything that was too early,
To make up for everything that was too little
Love me the French way.
I always needed you.
Igor, happy New Year.
This is Yulia Mihailovna.
Remember, you came to
our factory yesterday?
Yulia had called Igor.
An employee
of the President's Cabinet.
There is one little girl.
She is very unlucky.
But she keeps fighting.
And she has almost reached the President.
This phone call could have been the decisive one in the chain of six handshakes,
if it hadn't been for Yusuf.
I understand, but I not Igor.
Wait, where is Igor?
Those immigrants!
Let's go.
Bro, where are you?
Where are you?
KRAYEVAYA HOSPITAL
Good thing I brought a scarf.
Shush, drunk.
You'll scare everyone here.
New Year is coming...
- How can I help you?
- Hello.
Did anyone check in an old lady?
- Mrs. Manya.
- Yes, Mrs. Manya.
About 70 years old.
Yes, they did.
How is she?
You should sit down.
She is no longer with us.
She died?
In some sense she is...
Her head and limbs are okay, but...
Anyways, I had to send her
to the psychiatry unit.
Why?
You see she...
she keeps saying that on the staircase of her home she was hit by a skier.
Hallucinations.
Hallucinations!
Seems like she fell really hard.
Hey, guys.
Who are you to her?
Us?
Nobody.
Yeah, we're nobody.
Happy New Year!
Okay, start the hurricane.
Ready. Set. Go. 5, 4...
Yeah, start.
- Should I call?
- Yes, call!
- I want to hold the board.
- Start now.
- Hello, wave master!
- Hi, Lena!
- I am happy to see you.
- Me too.
We're having a category 8 hurricane here,
excellent weather for surfing.
Misha, maybe you shouldn't?
It sounds dangerous!
I can't hear anything!
Enjoy it! Like I promised!
Misha, wait!
Buenos noches, senorita.
(speaking in Spanish)
[From a Spanish Phrase Book.]
My luggage has been stolen.
[From a Spanish Phrase Book.]
I need to call police.
(in Spanish)
I'm really sorry!
Did you lose something of value?
Misha, Misha, Misha!
Lena, did you see?!
- Guys, I need my ironing board back.
- Just like I promised!
You were great.
Happy New Year!
Misha, give me back my ironing board!
You ruined my ironing board!
Lena!
Lena!
There is no Cuba, I'm just an ordinary college student.
I was just afraid that
you would not want to talk to me.
Lena, I know that
you and I will never meet,
but you must know that...
Lena...
Misha, wait!
Please, don't go.
Tell me where you are?
How do I find you?
Oh! I have no pen or paper with me.
No blank ones, tear off a half.
Thanks a lot.
- Happy New Year.
- It won't work.
Hello.
Excuse me, please.
Four.
Five.
She's making a wish.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Hurray!
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
Please, excuse me.
Excuse me for barging in like this.
- Stay!
- No, no, I can't.
I'll be heading back.
And do forgive me, please.
Yulia realized that she had burned the wrong half of the paper.
And her wish was never made.
Everything had been in vain.
Hello, Ibrahim! It's me, Yusuf!
I need to help one little girl.
She's in real trouble.
You are on Red Square.
He is on Red Square.
Who would have thought that out of everyone it would be Yusuf
who would have a man in the Kremlin.
...who help themselves.
Got the words?!
What are you talking about, Yusuf?
He's way out of my reach.
Sorry, Yusuf. Lots of snow to shovel,
gotta get to work.
Mr. Yusuf.
Who were you talking to?
I have a friend in Moscow.
He works as a street cleaner.
Asked him find the President,
say a big Hello to a little girl.
I feel sorry for her,
kids are picking on her.
Little girl. Varya?
Yes, Varya. How do you know, little devil?
The chain has closed.
Has something happened?
What happened?
Thank you.
I let you down.
He didn't get the message?
Why did I ever listen to you?!
A street cleaner got the message!
Why did you not tell me anything?
I would have called the Minister of Education.
Six handshakes? Six handshakes, ha?
Actually, no, I would not have called
because this is all nonsense.
How did it go?
Well, actually...
I burned the wrong half of the paper.
I told you it wouldn't work.
What was on that paper?
An X-ray referral.
A what?
My partner twisted his leg badly.
So he was due for an X-Ray.
You find it funny?
Know what?
How are you?
My leg.
It worked.
[President's daughter.]
Is it true that your dad is the President?
You all look so beautiful.
Let's go, Varya.
Take a seat.
Quiet, everyone!
Dear friends.
On this night I have a few special minutes,
when I can address each and every one of you.
Quiet, quiet.
Children, stay quiet.
Everything is alright.
Go away.
Varya, stop beating up the boys.
Let's all go back to the big room.
Yura, I didn't expect this from you.
Forgive me, Varya.
I wasn't able to help you.
Wait. No, you should forgive me.
Let's go.
We want you to be happy.
May the dearest and closest friends...
be near you tonight.
Only a few moments left now.
It's time to make a wish.
May your most sacred wishes come true.
But, as people say,
"Santa helps those who help themselves."
Happy New Year!
What was that?
It worked.
Happy New Year, my dears!
Happy New Year!
A familiar face.
- Did you find your snow-maiden?
- Would you like some champagne?
Happy New Year!
Mrs. Manya, still do tell us..
Who is better?
A skier or a snowboarder?
I had a skier once.
He was definitely better.
What? Better than a snowboarder?
Better than my old man.
May the Lord forgive me.
Misha, over here!
Lena?
Misha?
The mountains.
The Cubans.
Hello.
Hello.
Yulia!
My God, what has happened?
Nothing too bad.
The X-Ray showed a twisted leg.
What did Yulia wish for?
For a man to carry her in his arms.
Carry her inside.
Come on in.
Come join us!
Olya.
You must make a choice.
It's either him or me.
You must decide this right now.
It's your choice, Olya.
Yeah.
Choose.
Me or him?
Olya, I love you.
- I love you very much.
- I love you too.
Boris, who is this?
I still keep wondering...
how did the message ever get to him?
Let's stay children forever,
May love keep our home safe.
Let's create our own special world,
And run away there together...
Your love is like the first snow.
It will shelter our magic garden.
I gently touch your hair,
And I whisper
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Let's hide our tracks,
So no one can find us.
While love is saving the world
With the glimmer of crystal notes.
Your eyes create light,
Mine save your warmth.
I will share with you a secret,
And I will whisper
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Let's believe in miracles from early childhood onwards.
Hug each other to save the warmth.
Transferring heat from one heart to another
Giving it to strangers who live close to us.
From Yakutsk to St. Peter - to be together...
In the name of love cross the entire world.
In search of dreams and happiness...
I will whisper to you
That time is not all-powerful.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
I know that nothing is in vain,
As long as we are together.
Eternity will burn as a steady flame.
SUBTITLES WRITTEN BY:
Katia Kutyavina (Seattle, WA, USA)