You Again (2010) Movie Script

I can't... How do you?
Where's the entrance? Is it not?
Into the camera. Hello.
My name. Right.
My name is Marni Olivia Olsen,
and I'm a senior
here at Ridgefield High.
What's life like for a
high school student in 2002?
Well, for starters, my initials spell...
Moo!
Life is hard.
With a little luck,
you'll rise above it.
Unforunately,
I never had much luck.
Not even a little.
Dating all the way back
to my freshman year...
Sorry. Saved.
Sorry. Saved.
I come from a small town
in Northern California,
- and in a school as small as mine...
- Oh, sorry. Saved.
there's always one person
that is so famous
that they outshine all the others.
In my class, I was that person.
- Were you on the squad last year?
- Shh!
All right, ladies,
let's do this! Here we go!
Five, six, seven and eight.
And one, cross two, three, four,
five, turn, six, seven and eight. Kick!
All right, let's go this time.
- Good luck, girls!
- Big smiles! Here we go!
Five, six, seven and eight. And one...
I read somewhere that
who you are in high school
determines who you'll be
for the rest of your life.
Kick!
I seriously hope that's not the case.
Then again, the odds
aren't exactly in my favor.
That's my big brother, Will.
He's the greatest.
At, like, everything.
Let's go, Gators, let's go!
Out of my way!
Go, go, Gators!
Go, go, go, Gators!
Go, go, go, Gators!
Nice work, Gator!
P.S., you were prettier
with the mask on.
Are you speaking to me yet?
I'm not in the mood right now, Marni.
I just wanted you to know
that I'm really sorry.
And those girls are right.
I am a loser. You know?
- Whoa, whoa. Which girls?
- What? No.
No, no, no, no. Who called you a loser,
Marni? I'll talk to them right now.
- Who called you a loser?
- Doesn't matter, Will.
You can't always protect me from it.
It's true.
I wish you could see how
incredible you are, Marni.
You just have to believe in yourself,
'cause once you do that,
you're gonna be able
to do anything you want.
And, of course, Will was right.
Once I changed the way I saw myself,
the past was history.
I ditched the braces, I got contacts
and I staWed spending more
than eight dollars on a haircut.
I've come a long way
since those horrible days.
But if it weren't for the determination
of that little girl from Ridgefield,
the woman standing in front of you
wouldn't be here today,
working at one of the top
PR firms in Los Angeles,
telling a bunch of
junior publicists about the days
when I was the poster child
for the geek squad.
You can't control the things
that happen to you,
but you can control
the way you react to them.
It's all perception.
That is what public relations
is all about.
Thank you.
And good luck.
- Nice job.
- Thank you.
Great speech. Inspiring.
Thank you, sir, very much.
Now, I'm gonna need you
to pack up your office.
What? Did... Did you just say
that I need to pack up my office?
- That's right.
- But I only asked for two days off,
and it's for my brother's wedding.
There's an opening
in the New York office.
VP. It's yours.
It... You...
I... The VP for...
Unless, of course, you have
a problem with a huge promotion.
No, I don't!
I certainly do not. I don't.
- Thank you, sir!
- You've earned it.
I am excited to see everyone, too, Mom.
I can't believe how quickly
this all came together.
I know, and it's gonna be so beautiful.
Joanna's Aunt Mona is spending
a fortune for this wedding.
I tried to get in touch with her
to say I thought it was too much,
and I got back a text saying,
"Happy to do it,
can't wait to meet you all".
I just feel bad
that I haven't met Joanna yet.
I know. Isn't it funny?
You guys all went to high school
together, you don't know each other.
Wait, we all went
to high school together?
I thought you knew.
No. Well, all Will did
was send me a picture,
but she didn't look familiar.
Ridgefield High was really small.
I don't remember a Joanna.
That's because she didn't
go by Joanna in high school.
She went by a nickname.
Oh... Uh...
...Deedee.
- Deedee?
- No, um...
- Titi?
- Titi?
No... I can't believe
I'm blanking on this.
- JJ?
- That's it! JJ!
Joanna, JJ, yeah!
No!
No! No!
No. Nope.
Ma'am? "Fasten your seat belt" sign's
on. I need you to return to your seat.
- Mom, are you telling me Will is...
- Shh!
Please! I've listened to you talk about
how your "cats are just like people"
- for the last 45 minutes.
- Ma'am, you must remain seated.
- It's for your own safety.
- Mom, hold on one second.
I'm sorry... Heather.
Um... This is an emergency.
My brother is about to marry the girl
who single-handedly
ruined my life in high school.
So, if you don't mind,
would you please back off?
- Sorry, Mom. I...
- I'm sorry, do we have a problem?
I don't know, do we have a problem?
Is your brother marrying
your arch nemesis?
So you didn't know
it was the same girl?
Nobody knew.
My brother was a senior
when I was a sophomore.
I can't blame him for not keeping up
with my high school soap opera.
Pretzel?
There are seven billion
people on this planet,
and I get stuck with
Satan's spawn as my sister-in-law.
She is the reason
I left home in the first place.
Marni, let me tell you about bullies.
They're just like terrorists,
only they're emotional terrorists.
You can never let them
get the upper hand,
so the best thing that you can do
in this situation is remain calm
and show her that you are in control.
Besides, I don't care if the Ridgefield
mascot getting ploughed got over
- a thousand hits on YouTube.
- A million.
- A million hits?
- Yeah.
Wow, you gotta get me that link.
- Will do.
- The bottom line is,
things have changed since then.
You need to go back,
and you show JJ what you're made of.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
Hey. You got this.
- I have got this.
- You got it.
Oh! There she is!
- Oh, my little girl is home!
- Hi.
Oh, sweetheart,
four months is too long!
- Hey.
- Hi. Why are you so tall?
Look at you! You look so great!
And we miss you so much.
- I miss you guys, too.
- Oh, yeah? Well, not as much
- as you're about to miss shotgun.
- In your dreams.
- Ben!
- What, Mom?
Joanna always lets me sit shotgun.
You guys do a lot of stuffwith Joanna?
We do everything with Joanna.
We don't do everything...
Take your sister's bag, be a gentleman.
You're home!
Mark! Honey, she's home!
Oh!
Ben, will you get the phone, please?
- Yeah, sure.
- Coco Puff!
- Come here, buddy! Coco!
- Sweetheart...
Joanna took Coco to the groomer's.
Everybody needs to look
their best for this wedding,
including Coco Puff.
Hey, Mark, she's home!
Hey, babe.
We're a full house this weekend.
You and Joanna are gonna have
to bunk in, I hope you don't mind.
- Oh, come on, Mom!
- Oh, Marni Olivia Olsen.
OK. It will just be like the
slumber party I was never invited to.
I'm gonna get dinner.
Honey! She's home!
- Busted!
- Oh, you scared me!
- There he is!
- Come here!
Ridgefield's legal golden boy!
- Look at you. You look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
Can you believe this? Because, Marni,
it wasn't that long ago, you remember?
We were kids up in that tree house,
swearing we'd never get married.
- Hm-hm.
- I guess some things change, huh?
- I'm counting on it.
- Is that my little mover and shaker?
- Oh, baby.
- Hi, Daddy! Hi.
Oh, my gosh, you look great!
You're so thin!
I have lost a couple of pounds.
Thank you for noticing.
- You look fantastic.
- Thanks.
Joanna's back. Your mom wants
everyone downstairs. Chop-chop!
One of those. Off to the side.
And, while rolling, it is
so crucial to have one inch wide
and nine inches in length.
And you finish itjust like that.
Oh...
- You are a culinary wonder.
- Hey, hey. Look who I found.
Marni, Marni, Marni.
Look at you!
- You are so beautiful!
- Thank you?
Do you know that I have waited
so long for this moment?
It's finally here.
You think you waited long? 'Cause I...
- There's just so much to say.
- Believe me, I know.
But I don't want to do it
in front of them.
But first, let me just say
- how nice it is to finally...
- It's OK.
...meet you!
- Excuse me?
- Will has told me so much about you,
but now here you are! I cannot
wait to spend the next four days
learning all about my
brand-new sister! Hugsies!
- Oh, never mind.
- Yeah.
The salad looks good.
There he is!
Coco Puff! Come here, buddy!
Oh, Coco Puff! Come to Mommy!
- Yeah! That's my boy.
- Coco Puff, dinner time.
Joanna, I'm not sure I feel comfortable
starting dinner without your aunt.
- I think it's very rude.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Don't worry about Aunt Mona.
She's just running late.
- OK. You ready, honey?
- Ready!
All right. Batter up.
I'm sorry, are we executing Dad tonight?
You know how your father's
always been so interested
in the whole mind-body connection?
And since we can't have Will's
best man looking fat on Saturday...
- That's right.
- You do not look fat!
I'm trying the Yamaguchi diet.
A colleague at the hospital
told me about it.
Most people don't realize
when they're full.
They need an empty plate to tell them.
Scientific fact:
When you wear a blindfold,
you rely on your stomach.
I've already lost six pounds.
And where did you go to medical school?
- Ben!
- Well, I think it's
a very smart way to stay fit.
- Thank you, Joanna.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's eat!
Wow.
So, uh, how did you two meet?
We were at this little
karaoke bar at the beach,
and Will was onstage
doing his best Hall & Oates.
- Not my finest moment.
- Really?
- No, it wasn't.
- Ben.
He was so cute, I just had to save him.
So I got onstage
and we sang it together.
- And she has been saving me ever since.
- That's right.
You know, I just think it's unbelievable
that in a small town like Ridgefield,
Will and Joanna could grow up
practically down the block
from each other
and not run into each other until now.
It's funny, isn't it?
It's hilarious!
Isn't it? I mean, that
our paths haven't crossed till now?
- Isn't that funny?
- Yeah. It's so funny!
Weird. So, Marni, Will tells me
that you work for this
big, fancy PR firm in LA?
Guilty. Actually, since you
mentioned it, I have news.
- I got a promotion.
- What?
And I am now VP of our
New York office. And I was...
- A promotion in New York?
- Yes.
Oh, honey, congratulations!
That's fantastic!
- We're so proud of you!
- That is awesome.
You get to meet real celebrities?
Like, that is really cool!
You know, enough about me.
I'm dying to know
what you're doing. You know?
I mean, what have you been up to?
- My life is dull by comparison.
- Oh, I doubt it.
I'm sure you keep itjust as interesting
as you did in high school, right?
I mean, I'd love to hear how your
wonderful life has turned out.
- Well, um...
- Yeah.
Yeah. After my parents died,
I took a hard look at my life,
and realized I wasn't
really making the right choices.
So I enrolled in nursing school,
and I decided to focus all of my energy
into helping those less fortunate.
Wow. Good... Good for you.
No, "good" doesn't even
begin to describe it.
Yeah, I kind of became obsessed
with helping people in need.
Well, since, Will and I love children.
...as an entry-level RN, they
promoted me to head clinical nurse.
I tried to put in a good word.
She wouldn't let me.
- Oh, Dad.
- Oh, Dad.
Between the hospital...
Yeah, it, actually...
It helps build the self-esteem of...
Let's be honest, you can only
run a suicide hotline so long
before it starts to take its toll.
- Do you still have that number?
- Ben!
Oh, my gosh, I have been
talking about myselfway too much.
- No, no, no. Baby, it's fine. Trust me.
- I, for one,
had no idea you were such a...
giver.
I know, right? I'm so proud of her.
I'm so proud to call you my bride.
Oh! Bride! He said it again!
Gail! He's getting married! I know!
- I really need a refill.
- He has been saying bride.
- Today, I think it's 16...
- Anybody need anything?
- How many more days?
- Does anybody want anything?
- Of course we will. But...
- Great.
Oh, my gosh!
The Lambada!
Jeez, Mom, you scared me!
- So that Joanna's pretty great, right?
- Yeah, almost too good to be true.
I think so, too.
I think it's her sweetness.
You know, her genuine warmth.
- Uh, where is the recycling?
- Oh! Come with me, please.
There's the recycling, and...
Wow, this looks beautiful.
- Maybe Joanna could sleep out here.
- Marni.
Listen. How come you
didn't mention New York?
I'm really proud of you.
That's fantastic.
Thank you. I don't know.
I think I've just been preoccupied
with the whole... Joanna thing, and...
Don't you think it's odd
that she doesn't remember me?
Ridgefield High was not that big.
I don't remember half the people
I went to high school with.
Yeah, but you're Gail Byer.
Everyone loved you.
You can't relate to what I went through.
Really? You wanna bet?
Listen, nobody gets through
high school unscathed, Marni. Nobody.
You didn't tell me
you had problems in high school.
Because what's past is past.
Look, if you had a problem with Joanna
in the past, you can fix it now.
Remember...
- Everyone deserves a second chance.
- deserves a second chance. I know.
Joanna's Aunt Mona is here!
I can't believe my
little Joanna's getting married.
- I know. It's crazy, right?
- I'm so happy for you.
Come meet the family. Aunt Mona...
...this is Will's sister, Marni.
- What a pleasure.
- Nice to meet you.
And this is Will's mom.
- Gail?
- Ramona.
Whoa! You guys know each other?
- Gail!
- Ramona!
How long has it been?
Well, don't tell, or I'll have
to strangle you.
- Who can remember?
- How do you two know each other?
- Uh... we went to school together.
- We were best friends.
- Whoa!
- Very, very close.
Wow. You look... great.
- Stop.
- No, no, really.
You look amazing.
You haven't aged at all.
- Oh, well...
- She looks computer-generated.
- Ben.
- Thank you. You must be Ben.
You know, I have something
that I think you will like.
Fallout Four? This doesn't
even come out until the summer!
- What do you say, young man?
- Thank you!
Oh!
I cannot wait to go play this!
I got... I gotta go!
Have fun.
Oh, and Marni.
You know, I think I have the right size.
- Is this Brian Reyes?
- Brian who?
And this is from his new collection?
'Cause I thought
that it was pre-sold out.
Brian is a doll.
He always stays at my hotels.
He always stays at the Sullenger.
You own the Sullenger Hotel?
The Sullenger Group.
Actually, we now own 14 properties.
I can't believe it myself.
I can't believe
that my mom didn't tell me
that she was friends with one of
Forbes' 100 most powerful women.
Please, that silly list
changes all the time.
Yeah, but you've been on it
for, like, ten years.
Eleven. But, you know,
what's most important to me
is that when someone stays at my hotel,
they feel right at home.
"Like home but better," I always say.
Which reminds me...
You two have worked
so hard on this wedding.
It would mean so much to me if you would
spend a week at any one of my resorts.
Bali, Maui, Paris.
- Are you? Yes!
- No. No.
- Yes.
- I insist.
Now, Ramona, you know
you did not have to do all this.
You've already done
so much for the wedding.
Do you think I'm trying
to buy people's affection?
- Did it work?
- Yeah!
This is so exciting. I mean, doesn't
it feel like we're already family?
Let's notjust stand here.
Come on in, family!
Put your feet up.
Have a drink, Ramona.
I think we've got
some French champagne.
There are cowbells on every door,
and we have no beds.
I have 400 beds stranded
somewhere in the Indian Ocean.
I mean, it's still beautiful.
It's Switzerland.
- I love Switzerland.
- You've never been to Switzerland.
Yeah, but I love chocolate.
I love cheese. I love clocks!
Well, then we all have to
spend some time at my new place.
- How about Christmas in Gstaad?
- Yes!
- We can take the jet.
- Count me in.
No way! You own your own plane?
Oh, darling,
sometimes I think it owns me.
I am on it non-stop just flitting
from one continent to the next.
Not to mention all the
back-and-forth with my divorce.
Michael and I have been
in litigation 14 months.
We were only married for seven, so...
Ramona, I'm sorry.
That must be so difficult.
Yeah, it is, but, you know,
it's nothing that a delicious piece
ofwhatever this is can't fix.
Oh, Mark has been doing
this kind of program that...
"As the eyes are the
window to the stomach...
so shall we pull the curtain".
How did you know that?
I had no idea the Yamaguchi Diet
had come to the States!
- I simply swear by it!
- Me, too!
Oh!
Hello. Hello, darling.
Georgia King, the wedding planner.
Geor... Georgia King
is the wedding planner?
She is like Southern royalty.
Every single one of our clients
wants her to do their wedding.
Thank you, darling.
Look at these two.
You guys are so adorable.
Gail, doesn't thatjust take you
right back to when you were young?
You know, your mother may not have
told you this, but back in high school,
- she was quite the superstar.
- Oh, no, she told us. I mean, we know.
- I... was hardly a superstar.
- Oh, you were a supernova.
Every girl wanted
to be just like your mother.
She was prom queen. She was
homecoming queen. Cheerleading captain.
Well, not all at the same time.
Wait. You were cheerleading
captain at Ridgefield?
Mm-hmm. My senior year, I was varsity.
- Me, too!
- Joanna!
I was cheerleading captain
at Ridgefield!
How come I didn't know that?
Joanna, have you ever heard of the...
Byer Flyer?
Well, yeah, I mean, it's the
signature move of the varsity squad.
Yeah?
You were the "Byer" in the Byer Flyer?
I mean, I originated the move.
Oh, my gosh! Your mother is a legend!
Oh, I'm not a legend. I'm not a legend.
- Gator Power. Let's do it!
- Oh, no, no. They still do it?
- Go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators!
- I haven't done it in 30 years!
Dad, can I please
borrow your blindfold?
- Come on! Go, go, Gators!
- Get in line.
Go, go, go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators!
No, I haven't done it
in such a long time!
- Go, go, go, Gators!
- Go, go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators!
Ready? OK!
Ridgefield Gators are out tonight.
We're gonna dribble
and fight, fight, fight!
- Yeah!
- Snap those jaws, let's begin.
Ridgefield Gators gonna win, win, win!
Go... Gators!
- Unbelievable!
- I haven't done that in 30 years!
- Oh!
- Boy, the two of you together again.
Must feel like you're
right back at Ridgefield High.
Oh, yes, it feels...
just like old times.
- Whoo! Gator Power!
- Mom!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- All I want is an apology.
- You can't prove it was me.
I suppose I should
commend Joanna for changing her life
and just do what Mom says
and forget about it and move on.
Yeah. You know, that's probably a good
idea. I mean, you two are roommates now.
Ben!
- Thank you.
- Let me help you.
How gallant.
You know, Joanna is my
only family now, and...
...it's been hard to imagine this
wedding without her parents here.
- Of course.
- So it means the world to me to be able
to share it with you
and your beautiful family.
It means a lot to us, too.
- Good night.
- Good night, Ramona.
- Well, that was normal. Right?
- Yeah. You seem surprised.
- You two were friends, weren't you?
- Yeah, we were best friends.
Yeah, all the way
through grade school,
and then we were close in high school.
Right up until our senior prom, and...
...then she... she kind of
had a little breakdown,
and something happened, and I...
She said she never
wanted to see me again.
I don't know what happened, really.
Honey, it was...
That's a long time ago.
And you always say
everyone deserves a second chance.
So stop worrying about it.
You honestly don't
remember me from high school?
Uh...
No, I... I'm so sorry.
High school was such a blur.
Please don't take it personally.
Slumber party!
Oh, look at you two.
Now, I'm not interrupting
any pillow fights, am I?
- Not yet.
- I just came to say goodnight
to my lady.
- My favorite!
- Yeah?
- Does that smell good?
- Don't you just love this?
I'll give you two a minute.
Wow. Love what
you've done with the place.
Oh, my curtains!
Did you know I made those from scratch?
Uh, yeah. I thought you said
you were going to bed.
My room is a little crowded right now.
I thought I would just hang up here
with you, if that's cool.
Yeah. It's cool.
Thanks.
I thought you said his sister was hot.
Oh, I accept.
- Mark, do you remember Denmark?
- Of course I do.
- Yeah.
- I was there.
I know. Do you remember
the room service?
No, I really don't.
- Hey! Good morning, sunshine.
- Hey.
Oh, Coco Puff, there's my boy!
Coco Puff, no!
We do not growl at guests.
I am so sorry. He'll warm up to you.
He probably just doesn't recognize you.
Yeah. I get that a lot.
Check it out, Marni. The Hawaii trip.
Remember when you got nailed
in the face by that baby octopus.
You were like...
It wouldn't come off!
She was so sad. She was so brave,
though. She was so brave.
- Let's turn the page.
- Um, hello, we need to go right now
because we have a lot to do
before our dance lesson.
- Dance lesson?
- If the bride and groom want dancing,
we're gonna give them dancing. Hey!
That means you need
to pick up Grandma.
Oh, honey, she can't wait to see you.
- Come on, Coco. Let's go.
- She really can't.
That was all she would talk about
the other day at the mall, Marni.
You go shopping with our grandma?
Oh, yeah. Bunny and I,
we're like sorority sisters.
All right, ladies, come on. We're
wastin' time. Let's go. Let's do it.
Yes!
I'm so excited about our dance.
Come on, Marni. Chop-chop.
Marni, seriously, don't worry about it.
You'll have plenty of time to wash up
before my bridal shower this afternoon.
So, Will, how'd you pop the question?
I... I proposed in
the tree house, actually.
- Our tree house?
- Uh-huh.
It's my wedding gift to Joanna.
I'm having it moved from
Mom and Dad's to our new place,
- once it's finally built.
- You're moving the tree?
You can't move the tree house, Will.
You and I built that with Dad
with our bare hands.
- That's like Olsen family history.
- OK, Marni, how about
when you come in town,
you can come visit it at our place.
OK? How's that?
Honey, our song! It's fate.
Oh!
Stop!
Sorry. I thought that
plastic bag was a kitten.
- What?
- Check it out. Ridgefield High.
So many... fond memories.
But, you know,
if I knew then what I know now,
I would've done a lot
of things differently.
How about you, Joanna? Any regrets?
Well, actually, yeah.
I mean, if I could start
all over, I would probably
get a head start on my community service
and charitable outreach programs.
Huh.
I would've had a boyfriend. You probably
had lots of boyfriends, right, Joanna?
- No, I wouldn't say "lots".
- I heard that one of the cheerleaders
had a different boyfriend
in each school in the district,
and that when she'd bleed one dry,
she'd just move on to the next one.
Hey, Joanna, you were
on the cheerleading squad.
Do you remember who that was?
- What's your point, Marni?
- No point.
Just wondered if she remembered who
this low self-esteem gold-digger was.
I heard she even dated the Wilson
High School principal for a while.
She did not!
I mean, that's just a rumor I heard
that Judy Karbash made up
because she was jealous
of said cheerleader.
Do you guys mind
if I change the music?
Love this song!
Don't you guys just love this song?
Joanna!
I said, "'Cougar? ' I'm old enough
to be your grandmother!"
Well, we better get going ifwe wanna
make it on time for our dance lesson.
Bunny, can I help you get ready?
- That would be delightful.
- OK.
You know what? You've done enough.
I'll help her get ready.
Don't be silly. I'm happy
to help Grandma Bunny.
Well, she's my Grandma Bunny, by blood.
I've got this.
They're fighting over me.
So, Grandma, is there
anything I can help you with?
Here, dear. They were a little loose.
We can't have them
falling out on the dance floor.
- I don't think... I don't know how.
- They're just dentures! Get over it.
Now, and be sure and press hard, dear.
We need a tight seal.
I might be kissing later.
Oh!
- OK.
- There we go. OK.
- Oh, seriously?
- Oh, dear!
I can fix that.
- Now, hold still.
- Grandma, no!
I really gotta give you credit.
You've got this whole good girl act
- down to a T, don't you?
- Excuse me?
You even had me believing
that you didn't remember who I was.
But We Are The Champions?
You really showed your true colors,
didn't you, JJ?
Joanna.
Tim!
Oh... Tim!
- Wow! You look well!
- Thank you.
Thank you for saying that. You... Wow.
I wasn't expecting to see you.
What... how...
Well, you look...
You changed your hair.
No, I didn't, but Tim, this is Will,
Marni and Grandma Bunny.
- We go way back.
- Way back. Seattle Space Needle.
It was really great seeing you.
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's awesome.
I mean, but, unfortunately,
we've gotta get going. So...
We don't need to rush. They're
not gonna start without you guys.
Let's talk to Tim
and hear about way back.
What is your phone number? Someone
keeps blocking your number on my phone.
- I think it's a glitch.
- It's 555-0172.
That's my cell. I'm also on Facebook.
And the Twitter.
What about you, Joanna? Do you Twitter?
Can we Twitter together?
You wanna, maybe... I have a pool.
- You wanna catch a movie sometime?
- Oh, uh...
Tim, Will and I are getting married.
- I hadn't heard about this.
- Yup, this Saturday.
- This Saturday?
- Hm-hm.
That is great!
That is so soon for a marriage.
That is so soon. Lovebirds.
That is great.
Gotta give you one of these, then.
Married to... And you're
sure that's this Saturday?
Hey, man. Keep it real.
And you got a terrific girl here. Move.
Bye, Tim. Call me!
That was awkward.
We dated in college.
Long story. Right.
We're not gonna go into that.
- Let's go dance!
- You guys dated?
Oh! Here they are. Hi!
It's happening! Marni!
Did you get a haircut?
You did. Let me see!
It's, um... It's cute.
It's cute, bangs. You haven't
had bangs since high school.
- I know.
- It's cute. How was Grandma's?
It was fun... when Grandma wasn't
fawning all over her new BFF, Joanna.
Honey. Your grandma loves you.
Don't turn everything
into a competition.
Hola, everyone! I am so sorry I'm late.
Oh, look at this!
Oh, Gail, when was the
last time we danced together?
Could it have been... prom?
Um...
Is that what you're wearing?
- Yes. Why?
- You know what I love
about your look is it's so... sporty.
- Thank you.
- So American.
Ooh!
Ladies and gentlemen,
your wedding extraordinator,
Miss Georgia King!
Hi!
Whack!
Oh!
Heart!
- Brava.
- Yes!
Oh... Bonjour. Guten tag. Hola.
Aloha. Konichiwa.
Hi, y'all. I'm Georgia King.
And I am your wedding extraordinator.
And this lovely man
to my right is the owner
of this Off-Broadway dance studio,
and my personal helper, Timothy.
- Oh, look, it's Tim!
- I want you to think of me
as the engine room to your Love Boat.
And our first "port of call"
is the crucial wedding dance.
Now, since Will and Joanna first
said "I love you" at the Mardi Gras,
I have choreographed a Brazilian
Carnival Lambada dance number.
Now, this dance number is
the forbidden dance that bestows
good luck and fertility
on the happy couple.
And now, I'm gonna teach it to all
y'all. Do you get what I'm sayin'?
All right! Let's get this party started!
Oh, Marni! I'm so sorry.
We were expecting more people.
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
- Olsen!
- Charlie! You made it!
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.
The flight was delayed...
Don't even worry about it.
Marni, you remember Charlie, right?
Uh... sorta.
Come here, you!
Come here, man.
- Hey!
- Hey.
- Oh...
- Good to see you.
- You, too.
- Hi!
Marni! Ah!
Wow. You look... grown-up!
That's what I did. Couldn't stop it.
At last!
For every lovely lady,
there is a gentleman.
Marcie, I want you
to dance with Charlie.
And, you two, I want you to work
on that bride and groom dance.
Right over there.
I'm gonna come help you.
Just right that way, that's it.
Remember, you're a swan. Long neck.
You might wanna bend
your knees a little bit there.
It's... it's the Lambada,
not the foxtrot.
- Oh, OK.
- He's acting like it's a foxtrot.
So, what am I doing?
Uh, I'll just teach you what we learned.
It's... your left hand,
foot, goes... forward,
together, back and together.
Forward and together,
back and together.
Don't be intimidated.
I've had two hours more practice.
Oh, OK. Thank you.
Mind if I drive for a while?
I mean, what is she trying to prove?
- Well, if I had her body...
- You'd what?
I'd shut my mouth before
the next stupid thing comes out.
Don't try this at home.
It's strictly for professionals.
Roar!
Right and left, and right and left.
- Wee!
- Wait!
Wee!
Bang, bang!
Oh, forget this. Mark, "Byer Flyer,"
on my count. Spot me.
- What?
- Tim!
- You ready?
- No!
Two scoops of crazy
with a side of coo-coo-cachoo.
I guess this means
you didn't get your apology, huh?
I don't think there's
gonna be an apology.
But she remembers me.
Oh, yeah, and this is all
just part of her little act.
Everybody loves a good story, and
that's exactly what she's giving 'em.
She has got Will totally brainwashed.
Come on, Marni.
Don't you think you're overreacting?
He's giving her the tree house.
What?
Ben! I need to leave a little early
for baseball practice.
I'm gonna run by Ramona's hotel!
We'll leave in about five minutes, OK?
We gotta save him, Benny.
Will has protected us his entire life.
- Now, it's our turn to protect him.
- What are we supposed to do, Marni?
He's getting married in,
like, 48 hours.
Ben. Ben. In PR, 48 hours is a lifetime.
All we have to do
is isolate the problem,
calculate a plan
and institute a solution.
We gotta get him alone.
Hey, Will. What are you doing right now?
Can I talk to you?
Actually, can it wait?
Because Joanna's gonna be back soon,
- and I wanna sneak in a quick run here.
- No way!
I was just thinking that... that I need
to sneak in a run. I'll come with you.
Yeah, OK, great, Marn,
but I'm warning you,
I'm training for a marathon.
Five miles OK?
Uh... This is so weird.
It's like we're twins!
I'm actually training for a triathlon,
which is a little bit harder,
but five miles is perfect.
- Charlie! Are you ready?
- Charlie?
- You all right?
- Oh, yeah.
No, I'm just stretching my hamstrings,
you know. Safety first.
There's someone at the door.
Hold on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Ramona, I'm sorry
to just sort of barge in.
I just, I was kind of hoping...
Do you have a minute?
- Oh, yes, absolutely. Come in.
- Wonderful. Thanks.
- I'm on the phone.
- Oh, you know what?
I need to use the restroom.
It was a long drive.
It's, um...
up the stairs and to the left.
Wow. OK.
Hi. Sorry, Will's mother...
No! No! No.
No!
No!
Oh, come on.
Well, your lawyer has the paperwork,
so, um... that's that.
Ramona?
Is everything OK?
Oh, yes.
You know, Ridgefield gives me
such terrible allergies.
Did you take a shower?
Yes. Yes, I did.
I did. I did.
I hope you don't mind. I...
Really I just came by because...
...I believe in closure.
And I just wanted to come by here
and tell you that
whatever happened between us
is in the past,
and as far as I'm concerned...
...it's over.
Well, I appreciate that.
Good for you, Gail. Brava.
So we're good, right? We're...
- Is that good?
- Yes.
Good.
Oh! Um...
I should take that, so...
Thanks for stopping by and...
- See you later.
- Alligator.
Yes.
Sven? Guten tag. How are you?
- How you holding up, champ?
- Oh, great!
I love it. I love running!
Hey, Will. Earlier, at the house,
I wanted to talk to you about Joanna.
Actually, I'm glad
you're bringing this up.
- You are? Good.
- Yeah, sure. I mean, Marn,
- how can we not talk about this, right?
- Right! Because
she's notjust marrying you,
Will, she's marrying all of us.
- We all have to put up with her.
- But I couldn't do it
unless I knew I had
your support on this thing.
In that case, Will, William...
- Cramp!
- I know what you're about to say,
and it means the world to me
that you'd actually open up your heart
and bring her into
our family like that. Seriously.
What's going on, kids? I thought
we were training for a marathon.
- Charlie!
- Hey, you cool with this pace, Marni?
- Yeah!
- You sure?
- Oh, yeah. It's good.
- In that case,
- what do you say we sprint to the end!
- Let's do it.
- Yeah? Let's go!
- Yeah? Yeah...
Whoo! Come on!
Whoo!
Maybe I'll give you guys a head start.
Come on, honey, come on.
Here, sit here.
- Watch my carpet.
- Ow! Make the burning stop!
I'll get Marni one of my back pills.
One of those babies,
- she'll be able to taste sunlight.
- Ew, gross!
- Go get me my rag bag.
- Marni, what happened to you?
- Uh, I took a shortcut.
- Through a woodchipper?
No, through an ant bed.
- I knew we shouldn't have left her.
- Oh, Charlie. You're here.
I'm here, actually.
Blurred vision. That can't be good.
No. Ants carried away her contacts.
- What kind of ants were they?
- I forgot to ask them,
but I will next time. And, really, this
is not a big deal, you guys. I'm fine.
She's not. The bad news
is she hurt her leg.
The good news is she can't
feel it 'cause of the ant bites.
Mom, stop being so dramatic. It's not...
Ah!
- That did not sound good.
- Uh, you know what?
That was completely my fault.
I shouldn't have been standing here.
- I'm sorry. I can take care of these...
- No, no, no, no...
OK,
I'm actually gonna
get you to a safety zone.
That looked like it hurts.
You guys will not believe
whatjust happened. I think my...
- So itchy everywhere!
- What is going on?
- Marni fell into an ant bed.
- Oh, no.
Well, with this many bites,
she could go into anaphylactic shock.
- You're the nurse. What should we do?
- We need lard. Stat!
- I need lard, stat!
- Who are you talking to?
There you go. Get her, Coco!
Get her, Coco!
Honey, stop with the picking.
You look fine.
How lucky for me, that you kept
my glasses from tenth grade.
Well, I can't get your contacts
until tomorrow morning.
I thought you'd like to see.
Look at them, Mom!
They look like pimples!
And my bangs? It's literally like
nothing has changed since high school.
Marni, I know.
But they're just ant bites,
and they will go away.
And, before you know it,
everything's gonna be fine,
and you're gonna live
happily ever after.
"Happily ever after"
is in fairy tales, Mom.
High school was a horror movie.
This weekend is the sequel.
It's times like this
that I like to then go back...
Mom, do you always have to offer up
some sweet little perfect
nugget of self-help advice?
Because I'm just
really not in the mood.
Well, someday you're gonna
appreciate my wisdom.
Marni, being a mom is hard.
There is no rule book.
Every day, you wake up and hope...
You have to trust your instincts and
hope you're not messing up your kids.
It's a lot of pressure. And I feel a
profound sense of responsibility that...
...that everything I do greatly affects
you and your brothers' lives.
And that's why I want you to know
that what I'm about to do is deeply,
deeply... wrong!
- Mom, what are you doing?
- Oh, you know I hate being late!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
Bonjour, guten tag, hola,
aloha, konichiwa! Hi, y'all.
Welcome to Joanna's bridal shower.
Now, listen, ladies.
Will and Joanna first met on the beach.
So it seems only fitting that we begin
their wedding story in a sea of love.
Viva la romance. Enjoy it, enjoy it.
A little over the top. I'm gonna
just check on your grandma, OK?
- OK.
- You OK?
- Yep.
- All right. Hi, Mom.
Oh! Marni, there you are!
I was getting worried.
Girls, girls,
this is Will's sister, Marni.
She actually graduated
from Ridgefield High with us.
Oh, right. I remember you.
We were in... homeroom together.
History, fifth period, Mrs. Barker.
But who's keeping track?
So when are you guys due?
August 23rd.
Wow. Is that such a weird coincidence?
Oh, no, no. We planned it in college.
Oh, you're serious.
And Joanna won't be far behind.
- Oh...
- You know you will!
Stop talking about my stomach!
So, how about you, Marni?
Any little ones?
Uh...
Not that I know of.
And now I'd like to give
a special thanks to my bridesmaids.
Thank you, for staying by my side
this weekeend.
Here's just a small token
of my appreciation.
- That is so sweet.
- Oh, so sweet.
I will cherish this forever.
I hope you like it.
I told your mother Olivia
was a terrible middle name.
Grandma, does it ever get any easier?
- What, dear?
- This!
- Life, everything.
- Marni, don't let the way
those girls treated you bring you down.
We are our experiences.
That terrible time made you
the woman you are today.
You're right.
You're absolutely right, Grandma.
I'll be right back.
- Amuse-bouche?
- Not since college.
Hey, sis. Isn't this a blast?
Look, sis,
I've had enough of this game.
You can make this
real easy on yourself.
All you have to do is apologize.
If you apologize, I'll keep
my mouth shut about everything.
Fine. Sorry.
That's it? That...
That's your big apology?
All right.
Well, you've made your trundle.
Maybe Will should lie in it
and hear a few of the details.
I'd think very carefully
before I did anything crazy, sis.
Who do you honestly think
your brother will believe?
No. Hm-hm.
You're not doing this to me again.
I am not the same four-eyed,
acne-covered girl
you pushed around in high school.
Really? Have you taken
a look in the mirror lately?
I gotta admit, the first
few rounds went to Joanna.
She played some very good hands.
Very good. But I'm glad.
It made me realize that we have to step
it up, take it to a whole new level.
Whoa. "We?"
No, she's your arch nemesis.
I'm not gonna be a part
of your evil plan.
- I'll give you 20 bucks.
- Done.
Will may not believe his own sister,
but I think he'll have a hard time
not believing his own eyes.
Start digging.
Hey, where is Mom?
It's getting kind of late.
She said she got tied up in town.
I'm sure she's on her way.
Well, with the way she drives,
she'll be here in a second.
- She drives like a maniac.
- I know.
We're co-hosting this party.
She's got to be here any minute.
She will.
Honey, you look amazing!
Stay right there.
Wow! Mom, you look great.
Thank you.
Hey!
Thank you.
Sadly, my dress was ruined, and I had to
find a replacement on very short notice.
Quick, somebody call Us Weekly.
Let's find out "Who Wore It Best?"
Joanna!
- You look divine!
- Aw, thank you.
Hi, guys.
I'm sorry. What is he doing here?
Who?
- Sausages.
- Oh!
Look, I hope you guys
don't mind that I invited Tim.
Yeah, well, I sorta do.
It's just, it's so awkward
to come to these things alone,
and you said that you and Tim
were never serious,
so I figured that
it wouldn't be a big deal.
I thought...
You know what? You're right.
I should have asked. I'm sorry.
Um... I'll go ask Tim to leave.
And that... That will be fine.
You know what? I don't really care.
It's... I'm used to...
...being the solo girl, so it's...
Marni, you don't have to ask him
to leave. I mean, Tim can stay.
- It's not that big of a deal.
- Really?
You know, I... I will be right back.
- Thank you.
- No biggie.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Let's move that.
- I think that's mine.
- Shh-shh... Danger...
- It goes to the right.
- Danger... Ooh, sharp.
- Danger...
- Yes. What are you doing?
- Yes.
I'm just... I'm creating
a safe zone for you.
Oh, for me? I won't! I'm not gonna...
- I'm... I'm totally safe, I promise.
- You won't what?
Safe? Ah. My lip,
my head and my big toe
would beg to differ with that statement.
There is nothing safe about you, Olsen.
- I got you three times?
- Three times.
- I'm so embarrassed.
- One time was my big toe,
- my favorite feature on my body.
- Oh, no.
- You have so much flesh on it.
- It still hurts, to be honest. I know.
It is the big one.
Uh-oh.
I believe this seat is reserved for Tim.
Are you a Tim?
- No.
- Yeah, it's a wedding.
You have to sit in the seats
that they reserve for you.
It's not like a
normal restaurant or anything.
- That's my seat, so...
- Yeah. Sorry.
Um...
- Yeah.
- I have a drink, so you should...
- I'm gonna head over to this table.
- OK, I'll...
- I'm a "Charlie," by the way.
- I don't know where the Charlies are.
It's not my responsibility.
I'll be with the Charlies,
if you need me.
I'll come to over to... after.
Wow. Uh, thanks, Tim.
What is it?
- It's an umbrella drink.
- I see that.
Joanna and I went to Cancun once.
What are you doing
over here all by yourself?
Oh, nothing.
Just missing Mom and Dad.
I still can't believe
they aren't here for this.
I mean, I always thought Daddy
would walk me down the aisle.
I know, sweetheart. I miss them, too.
Anything else bothering you?
- Aunt Mona...
- Yeah?
Have you ever done something
you wish you could take back?
My last two marriages.
And I'm starting
to rethink these heels.
Why?
I made a mistake.
Big, big mistake, and I...
I don't... I don't
know what to do about it.
You're human, Joanna.
Making mistakes is part ofwhat we do.
It's how we go about
fixing them that matters.
I know that whatever you do,
it will be the right thing. OK?
I'm so proud of you.
And I know your parents are, too.
Yeah, I'm not so sure about that.
Bonsoir, guten abend,
buenas noches, shalom, konbanwa...
...good evening. I'm Georgia King!
Will, I have a big
surprise for the groom.
Tomorrow, you and Joanna
are going to give yourselves
to one another through wedding vows.
But tonight, Joanna is going
to pledge herself to you...
Honey, what are they doing?
I'm frightened.
Hi.
This is for you, Will.
I love you so much, baby.
Aw...
You have got to be kidding me.
Finally, something she can't do.
Forget this!
- Wow!
- What's this?
Whoo!
. My girls are wicked, wicked
We're slammin' and we're jammin'
. So kick it, kick it
This bride is feelin' butterflies inside
. Can't be denied
I'll make 'em bow, make 'em wow
. It's my wedding day
Kiss my man
. Throw some rice
And a big buffet
. From now on
we're gonna live so happily
. My way'll make you J-U-M-P
Check it out
. Homies want a man
but there's no man like mine
I cannot believe my brother
is falling for this.
. He's a miggida-miggida-miggida
miggida mac daddy
Oh, honey, this is not my first
barbecue, rodeo or canoe trip.
I know true love when I see it,
and this, my dear sweet bridesmaid,
is true love. Now, come on!
This is a party! Have fun!
. Jump, uh-huh, uh-huh
Jump, jump.
Bravo!
I love you! I love you so much!
Joanna.
OK, OK, OK. I knew we were
getting a new daughter,
I had no idea we were
getting a rap star!
- Bravo!
- Will, I love you.
Your mother and I
could not be more proud of you.
Not only are you one heck of a lawyer,
you are compassionate, you are caring,
and, most importantly, you're honest.
To see that you have found someone
with all those same qualities
makes me the happiest man
in this room.
Joanna, while technically
I'm the best man,
you should know that tomorrow
the real best man
will be standing right next to you.
- Oh!
- Oh...
- To Will and Joanna.
- To Will and Joanna.
- Will?
- Yeah?
I have something I need
to tell you. I haven't...
- Sure.
- I haven't been totally honest...
Is there anyone else
who would like to make a toast?
- Tim does!
- Oh, no.
OK.
Joanna, congratulations
on a very special evening.
I just wanted to say tonight
is an amazing occasion,
and it's special for many reasons.
One of them being that
Joanna and I finally
get to share a rehearsal dinner
together.
Of course, I would rather it
had been our rehearsal dinner,
but beggars can't be choosers.
Um...
But in all seriousness, uh...
Joanna,
after many, many, many,
many hours of therapy...
...I know now why you
didn't show up that night.
- The two of you were engaged?
- And I even know that it's my fault.
It was right after college.
I was young and immature.
That's OK.
I missed you, Joanna.
I miss your voice, I miss the...
Oh, God, she used to make
this sound when we would...
...when we would snuggle.
Remind me to change my phone number.
I got cold feet. He wigged out!
- How could you not tell me this?
- I'm sorry.
I'd like to dedicate a song to you.
This was our song.
. Overnight scenes
Dinner and wine
. Saturday girls
. I was never in love
Never had the time
. In my hustle and hurry world
. Laughing myself to sleep
. Waking up lonely
. I needed someone to hold me, Joanna
. Girl, you're every woman
in the world to me
. You're my fantasy
You're my reality
. Girl, you're every woman
in the world to me
. You're everything I see
. You're everything to me
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Tim...
...for that.
And now we have a special video
for Joanna from the bridal party.
A video? Did you know about this?
Engaged, Joanna? To that guy?
OK, I'm ready.
Hi, I'm JJ Clark and
I'm a senior at Ridgefield High.
We're supposed to tell all you losers
what life is like in 2002
so you can see how much
things have changed.
How did they find this?
Wanna know what life's like
for an 18-year-old in high school?
Life is easy.
This was for the time capsule.
They said no one would
see it for 50 years.
I mean, sure you gotta
work at it to be number one.
But high school's not brain surgery.
It's more like prison.
And, in this prison, I'm the warden.
So it's myjob to keep
all the inmates in line.
Oh, look, here's one now.
In high school, only the strong survive.
The meek shall not inherit the eaWh.
Moo!
High school's a four-year sentence.
They don't let you out early
for good behavior.
So, take it from me,
it's better to be bad.
Out of my way!
Will. I'm so sorry.
I was a stupid kid, and you know
that's not who I am anymore.
No...
See, I don't think I know
who anyone is anymore, Joanna.
So I'm just gonna get some air here.
Wait! Wait, don't...
Where are you going?
Will?
Still no answer?
What a mess. Maybe we should
head home, see if Will's there.
- OK.
- Come on, Bunny.
Ben, let's get the car.
Let's go.
Oh, wait...
Miss, don't forget your video.
- Your video? What...
- I'm sorry.
I just wanted Will to know the truth.
I was trying to protect him.
Mom, I know you said to put it
behind me, but I guess I just couldn't.
- I'll get the car.
- I'll go see if I can find Will.
Oh, Marni, what have you done?
We'll talk about this at home.
OK.
Just go away! OK?
Look, I didn't intend for that to be...
You have got a lot of nerve.
You know that?
I'm sorry, I've got a lot of nerve?
Because you're the one
who came in here
pretending like
nothing had ever happened.
Pretending like we didn't
even know each other.
And Tim? How did
you know about that?
I didn't know Tim was a freak.
None of us did.
Please. That's why you invited him.
But that video?
Now, that was genius.
You know... I really
underestimated you.
I thought we could start over, but no.
You were so completely
stuck in the past
that you just couldn't let it go,
could you?
Hey, I wanted a real apology,
and I deserved one.
- It was high school.
- You don't get to belittle this.
Do you have any idea what all
those years of torment did to me?
Every day after school,
I came home feeling horrible
about myself thanks to you.
You can'tjust ruin someone's life
and pretend like it didn't happen.
You just ruined my life!
Do you get that?
The fact that you're
standing here right now,
asking me to feel sorry for you,
is priceless.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you walking away from me?
Uh-huh.
Nice work. Like mother, like daughter?
- Excuse me?
- Your daughterjust ruined
what should have been
the happiest night of Joanna's life.
Just broke her heart, just like that.
Sound familiar?
Did you see the video?
I did. Nice timing, too,
at the rehearsal dinner.
Did you?
- I'm not doing this in here.
- Fine with me. Let's go.
Marni!
- Are you insane?
- What do you think?
I think my brother was smart
to get out when he did.
Oh, kitty likes to scratch.
Well, two can play at this game.
Warm-up.
- Just gettin' loose.
- Yeah?
Ooh! Presents!
Oh, don't you just love this?
Aw...
Marni, let's just... not do that.
No, no, no! Marni, please don't!
That was a wedding gift.
It cost a fortune! Don't...
Don't do it. Just... Marni?
One less thank-you note to send.
You are so gonna regret that.
I always wished I was
strong enough to stand up to you.
But you know what I
finally realized today?
I don't need to stand up to you.
It's not worth it.
You're a liar, and you're a phony.
My family's better offwithout you.
Will is better offwithout you.
I'm done with you. My feet hurt.
- Yeah!
- Stop it!
What are you doing, Joanna?
I came back in here to see if you
were OK. I was concerned about you.
I was worried about you,
but from the looks of it,
I would say that you are more than
capable of taking care of yourself.
I just can't believe
that I fell for that.
That whole Meals on Wheels,
Mother Teresa act.
You are so good, and I'm so stupid
because I fully believed you!
I thought I knew exactly
who you were. Do you know that?
- You do know who I am, Will! You do!
- Yes, Joanna, I do know who you are.
You're a bully.
You're a liar. You are...
- An emotional terrorist!
- You stay out of this, Marni!
Do you know that you are
just as much to blame?
- No, Will, I needed to...
- No... No! Stop talking to me!
Going behind my back,
helping to orchestrate this thing,
how could you do that to me?
How could you do that to me?
What is wrong with both of you?
I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
I wanted to tell you the truth
about who I was back then. I swear.
You don't get it, do you?
No, you don't get it.
You still don't get it. No, because I
don't care who you were in high school.
I don't care that you were engaged.
I don't care about anything!
I care that you lied to me about it!
You lied to me!
You lied to me. And who was
I supposed to be marrying tomorrow?
Now, who is that? Is that the girl
that I sang karaoke with on the beach?
'Cause I liked that girl.
I liked that girl so much.
Or the warden of Ridgefield High School?
Wait! Will, please don't!
Please! Wait!
You have been playing me since
the moment you walked in my house.
- Playing you?
- Why? What happened between us?
- Tell me.
- You honestly don't remember?
I remember everything!
You don't remember
that we were best friends,
and then all through high school,
every single time,
- I was runner-up to you?
- Runner-up to me?
- Ramona, it wasn't a competition.
- Of course it wasn't.
- You always won.
- I won because they voted for me!
Do you remember cheerleading?
You made me try out.
You got on the squad.
I got laughed out the door.
Oh, come on. You were great!
Oh, please. And let's
not forget about Grease.
You knew how badly
I wanted to be Sandy.
But no, of course
you just had to audition.
I always wanted to be
in a musical, Ramona. Always.
Oh, please. You don't even sing.
You were already prom queen.
You were already head cheerleader.
Drama was supposed to be mine.
But no, you didn't think about me.
All you cared about,
when you got to high school, was you.
Oh, what was I supposed to do, Ramona?
Slow down so you could catch up?
- That's mean.
- Don't push me.
Don't you...
Are you insane?
After all that, you stole
Richie Phillips from me!
Richie Phillips? From high school?
- I was in love with him!
- You were in love with him?
And you went to the prom with him.
- He asked me, Ramona!
- You were my friend.
You were supposed to say no!
That's when I knew
I could never count on you.
I promised myself I would never let
anyone make me feel the way you did.
You know what? I should thank you.
If it weren't for you,
I wouldn't have worked so hard,
and I wouldn't have
achieved what I have-.
Well, good for you.
Oh, come off it. It just
makes you crazy that I've...
that I've done all this
and that I look so good.
You know what, Ramona?
Honestly, I'm proud of you.
I am proud of what
you've accomplished in your life.
I think you've done amazingly.
But my family is my accomplishment.
So I'm not jealous of you.
I have a family.
They love me. I'm happy!
Well, happiness isn't everything.
OK, I'm outta here.
I was jealous. You had it all.
You were pretty, you were smart,
everyone wanted to be your friend.
Just seeing you the other night
with all your family just...
...reminded me of...
My marriages haven't worked out,
and Joanna's all I have.
Now, you want to take her away too.
And I knew that would happen
as soon as I found out
that she was marrying your son.
I'm sorry, Ramona. Honestly.
And I should have been
a better friend, obviously.
I knew what I was doing.
I was so busy
being Gail Byer
and everything that that meant.
I just... I was insensitive.
I wasn't a good friend. And I'm sorry.
I can't believe I got
a makeover because of you.
- You did?
- Of course I did!
I almost got hair extensions.
Your hair flips around,
and I was jealous.
Oh, I'm so glad.
I feel like I can breathe again.
Really? I can't breathe!
I'm underwater!
What is going on out here?
I'm very disappointed
with the behavior I saw tonight.
Now: I don't pretend
to have the slightest clue
about how things work in the girl world.
To be perfectly honest,
it frightens and confuses me.
But here's what I do know.
A wedding is a time
for a family to come together.
But, for whatever reason, this wedding
is tearing our family apart.
Willis missing.
Ramona's out searching
the streets for Joanna.
This weekend is a disaster.
And I. for one, have had it.
You two are completely out of Control.
But nothing!
You're grounded. Go to your rooms.
What is it, Coco Puff?
What is it?
Oh, no.
No
Joanna don't do it, Don't...
Joanna. put down the spray cheese.
It's not worth it.
There are so many carbs.
Oh, what difference does it make?
It's not like
I'm getting married anymore.
I am an awful person.
Hey, remember me?
I'm the one who ruined
your rehearsal dinner.
- Think I'm the awful person.
- Oh, Marni, stop. Just...
.Just stop apologizing.
Ugh I deserved it.
I deserve all of it!
Hey! OK, wait. Joanna.
Hand that over Give her here.
Why don't We share?
Hey that's nice
Let's see. Looks... Ooh, it looks good.
That's right, we can share that.
Looks good
I just spent so many years,
so many years trying to
distance myself from the person I was.
I just wanted to be a person
my parents were proud of, you know?
Hey.
I'm sure your parents
would be very proud of you
Ye-ah, they would've
been proud of me
if I would've apologized to you the
moment you walked through that door.
I just didnt want Will
or your parents to know
how awful I was back them.
I love them all so much.
And it's been such a long time
since I've had a real family.
I just didnt wanna lose them.
I panicked.
You panicked? I freaked out.
I went all... Marni dearest on you guys.
You're never gonna lose them.
They adore you.
You fit into my family better than I do.
Oh that's not true.
But I think the reason why they love me
is because they really miss you.
Look. Marni,
I don't expect you to ever forgive me,
but I do want you to know
that I am truly sorry.
Would you mind Saying
that just one more time,
- just, like, slower or something?
- I'm sorry, Marni, for being so evil.
For... For pushing you
onto that basketball court.
For... Oh, gosh, for everything.
I really, I... I really apologize.
Thank you, Joanna.
Oh, gosh.
I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
I really don't. Will won't talk to me.
I have made such a mess of things.
I've really...
I can't live without him,Marni.
I think,..
...everything is gonna
turn out just fine. Trust me.
You got this.
- WM?
- Go away.
- No, Will!
- Go away!
Wait! Would you just
wait for a second? Will!
Oh, ow!
- My leg!
- Are you OK? Which leg is it?
It's the same leg from the other day!
- it's my bad leg!
- Marni, guess what?
You hurt your left leg the other day,
- but really, good try, Marni.
- Wait, Will, hear me out.
Marni, I don't wanna hear you out!
I don't wanna hear anything
you have to say, OK?
You ruined what should have been
the best day of my life.
- Do you understand that?
- Yes, I do. And I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry, Will.
Please try to accept my apology
because the last thing that I intended
was for you to get hurt.
You've just always protected me,
and I was trying to protect you...
"from the girl that
I thought Joanna was.
But she's not that gm anymore.
She's really not.
She's a girl who loves you
very, very much.
And you love her, too, dummy.
And that's all that matters
I'm really sorry.
I guess we'll just have to wait it out,
'cause I told Will the truth.
- I don't Know what else...
- No! Will and Joanna!
They're up in the tree house!
Why are you flipping out?
That's a good thing.
- They're probably hugging it out.
- No, I didn't want him
to give the tree house to her so
I was gonna take it apart and hide it!
Where did you suppose you were
gonna hide the tree house?
Look, the point is,
I loosened the bolts,
but didn't get a chance to finish.
That's not good.
Hey, guys! Cam you
come down here for a second?
We have to talk to you!
It's important!
- Sure. I-low's it going,guys'?
- Hi, guys!
- were good!
- You Know what,
this is kind of important, too, so we're
gonna be down in a minute, all right?
- Just give us one second.
- Yeah, we'll be down. Come on.
You're gonna be down
sooner than you think.
Well, darlings,
at least you're together.
- I'm so sorry, you guys.
- What are you sorry for, Marni?
Mom said it was probably termites,
and the;I've been meaning to get
that tree checked out anyways, you know?
Termites are the silent killers.
- Tammy!
- Hey, girl.
Hi, honey. So, what's the update?
Well, good news.
Your broken bones are gonna heal.
- That's good.
- The bad news:
we're gonna have to
postpone the wedding.
I'm Sorry, nobody is
leaving this hospital today.
Except for all of you. OK,
everybody out. These two need some rest.
- Dad, that's ridiculous...
- Doctor's orders.
We're not tired: you guys.
You do not have to leave,
Everybody out.
Joanna?
Joanna? Joanna?
Wakey wakey. eggs and bakey.
My dress.
What's. What's going on?
Trust me.
Seriously, what is going on?
- Don't peek.
- I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
- I'm serious,
- OK, but what's going on?
If I find out you peeked...
- Just, just. OK, all right.
- Are you okay?
- I can open? Can I open?
- Yes. Open.
I know it's not the fairy tale wedding
that you always planned in your head,
but, hopefully...
It's perfect.
- How do I look?
- You look beautiful.
Oh, wow...
Well, you look magnifique, too.
Which is good, because there's somebody
here who would like to see you.
Richie Phillips?
Wow.
Ramona: you haven't changed
a bit since high school.
Well: hopefully I've changed a little.
Welcome home.
Are you ready?
Marni, will you
walk me down the aisle?
I would be honored to.
I can't guarantee I won't trip.
Hm-hm
Aw...
Maybe one of these days
we'll be dancing at your wedding.
Oh I don't know Grandma. I...
I think I need to get a boyfriend first.
It seems to me you already have one.
Charlie?
No, Charlie's not my boyfriend.
Charlie thinks I'm a disaster.
Are you kidding? That boy
can't take his eyes off of you.
If you don't go for him, I will.
All right. Easy, tiger.
On, Joanna?
On! Mrs. Sullivan, I'd like
to introduce you to Will's grandma.
- Helen?
- Bunny?
- You again?
- Wait, you two know each other?
Helen!
You look nice. Who dressed you,
- the Great Depression?
- You look lovely, Helen.
I'm so sorry I couldn't
attend your funeral last year.
Care to dance, miss?
Yes, I'd love to.
This ain't oven, Bunny.
Don't get up in my grill, sister.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am Marni Olsen, sister of the groom.
And now, sister of the bride.
And I struggled for a long time
with what to get the bride and groom.
And then it hit me.
Ladies and gentlemen:
Daryl Hall and John Oates.
That's our song!