You Wish! (2003) Movie Script
RABBIT'S FOOT TO DOGMAN...
ALL CLEAR IN SECTOR 3.
MOVIN' INTO GROUND ZERO.
COPY THAT,
RABBIT'S FOOT.
ALL CLEAR HERE.
Boy: YOU GOT 'EM?
YEAH. COME ON.
DOGMAN TO RABBIT'S FOOT.
REPORT ON NEW LOCATION.
OVER.
Dogman: I DON'T KNOW.
OVER.
STEVIE...YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO KEEP
TRACK OF THEM.
LISTEN.
ALL RIGHT.
ON 3, CHECK RIGHT.
1...2...
AAH!
AAAHH...
AAAHHH!
HA HA!
WE GIVE!
WE GIVE!
WE GIVE!
OH...OH...
HA HA!
EWWW!
EWW.
HA HA.
YOU OK?
[RASPY VOICE]
ALL...
YOUR...
[RASPY BREATH]
FAULT.
[CHUCKLES]
ALEX?
ALEX!
ARRHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
ALL RIGHT.
THIS ONE'S YOUR LEFT,
THIS ONE'S YOUR RIGHT.
YOUR LEFT...
YOUR RIGHT. GOT IT?
GOT IT. ALEX,
WILL YOU TEACH ME
HOW TO SKATE?
I WILL, I PROMISE.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE USING
WAY TOO MUCH MOUSSE.
UH...DO YOU WANT SOME?
OOH! OOH!
DO YOU WANT SOME?
HEY, DON'T FORGET.
NEXT WEEKEND...
LARRY'S ROCKIN' COIN WORLD.
AND, UH, ON SUNDAY,
THERE'S
THAT COIN EXPO.
ALL RIGHT. LATER.
SEE YA. BYE.
SEE YA, SLIME BOY.
ALL RIGHT, STEVIE...
PUT THIS ON, GUY.
STRAP THAT ON, OK?
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
HEY.
HI.
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT'S WITH ALL
THE HAIR GEL, GUYS?
SO, THERE'S
A PET ADOPTION
AT THE PARK.
AND WE TALKED
ABOUT GETTING A PET.
YES!
DOG.
RABBIT.
DOG.
RABBIT.
DOG!
RABBIT.
DOG!
DOG, DOG, DOG,
DOG, DOG!
AAAHH!
RABBIT!
DOG!
[EXCITED CHATTER,
INDISTINCT]
YEP. SORRY, STEVIE,
NO RABBITS.
YES, THERE ARE!
MOM!
ALEX,
DON'T TORMENYOUR BROTHER.
[GRRR]
[WHIMPERS]
[WHIMPERS]
HEY, GUYS, I FOUND
AN AWESOME DOG.
NO!
THIS IS
WAY COOLER!
WHAT?
[GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE]
THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
HEY, HEY! LANSING
FOUND SOMEONE HE CAN
BEAT OFF THE LINE!
YEAH.
HA HA HA.
WHAT IS THAT THING...
BESIDES UGLY?
IT'S A TURKEY,
YOU BIG STUPID.
OOH...
OOH...
MY BROTHER'S
A BETTER FOOTBALL PLAYER
THAN YOU'LL EVER BE...
GARY!
OH, HO HO HO!
[GOBBLE]
OH, YEAH?
THEN HOW COME HE SPENDS
MOST OF HIS TIME ON HIS BUTT?
Boy: YEAH. YOU WANTO MESS WITH US?
HA HA HA!
STEVIE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO HOME. OK?
[BOY CHUCKLES]
THAT WAS, LIKE,
SO BRAVE.
YOU GET A REWARD.
[SNAP]
HA HA HA HA!
[BOY CHUCKLES]
HUNGRY?
HA HA HA HA!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
HOO HOO!
HA HA!
PIZZA FACE!
YEAH! HA HA!
HA HA!
[BOYS CONTINUE LAUGHING]
Alex, narrating:
THAT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME
STEVIE MESSED ME UP.
LET ME SHOW YOU.
IT ALL STARTED
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
OH, LOOK AT THAT.
HE'S SMILING AT YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
[GASPS]
UHHH...MMM...
Alex: HERE YOU SEE
ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE...
COME ON.
DO IT. SHOOT.
THE FIRST BASKEI EVER MADE.
OH, STEVIE.
WELL, YOU WOULD'VE
SEEN IIF DAD HADN'MISSED THE SHOT.
I GUESS
THE FIRST STEPS YOU TAKE
IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE...
THAT'S PRETTY COOL, TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT STEVIE
ALWAYS TAKES CENTER STAGE...
AND I CAN'T HELP FEELING...
[CRASH]
HA HA HA HA!
HE'S WRECKIN' MY LIFE!
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
THAT THING
GOES OUTSIDE
TOMORROW, RIGHT?
YEAH.
OOH! ALEX,
WHATEVER YOU'RE USING
IN YOUR HAIR...
SMELLS KINDA CHEESY.
OH. THANKS, MOM.
YEAH.
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE?
WE'RE IN HERE
EATING GUACAMOLE,
AND STEVIE ISN'HERE TO HOG IT.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
[SNORTS]
HOW LONG DO THESE THINGS
TEND TO LIVE, ANYWAY?
I KNEW IT! STEVIE,
WHAT DID I TELL YOU
YOU NEVER, EVER TOUCH?!
YOUR SKATES,
YOUR BIKE, AND
YOUR COIN COLLECTION.
AND IS THERE ANY REASON
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GESEVERE AND EXCRUCIATING
PUNISHMENT RIGHT NOW?
BETTER STOP.
GONNA YELL.
NO, NO...NO YELLING,
STEVIE. JUST SIT DOWN,
OK? SIT DOWN.
[SIGHS] I'M ONLY
GONNA SAY THIS ONCE,
ALL RIGHT?
MY ROOM IS MY ROOM,
AND MY STUFF IS MY STUFF,
AND YOU NEED
TO KEEP YOUR HANDS
TOTALLY OFF OF IUNLESS I SAY. OK?
I HAVE A LIFE,
AND WHEN YOU GROW UP,
YOU CAN GET ONE,
BUT UNTIL THEN,
YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE KID.
ALL RIGHT?
AND YOU DON'T GET TO DO
EVERYTHING I GET TO DO.
YOU GOT IT?
OW! DAD! ALEX
IS HURTING ME!
STEVIE!
ALEX! BACK OFF
YOUR BROTHER. NOW!
DAD...I DIDN'DO ANYTHING.
[SIGHS]
THAT'S IT. YOU ARE BARRED
FROM THIS ROOM FOR 2 WEEKS.
BANNED.
GO!
GET OUT.
GET OUTTA HERE!
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
[GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE]
AAAHHH!
[SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS]
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
[GIRL IN MOVIE
CONTINUES SCREAMING]
[WHISPERING] Out.
2 weeks.
[SIGHS]
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
[SCARY MUSIC]
YAAAHHH!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
AAH!
HA HA HA HA HA!
AAAHH! DON'T!
HA HA HA!
[WHISTLING CHEERFULLY]
OH, HEY, ALEX,
I MIGHT BE
A FEW MINUTES LATE
FOR YOUR GAME TODAY.
GREAT. YOU'LL MISS
MY BEST BENCH WARMING.
FIRST QUARTER,
I'M IN THE ZONE.
GO, RAIDER!
HE YELLS MY NAME TODAY,
HE'S DEAD MEAT.
HEY...YOU
GOT A BROTHER
ON YOUR SIDE.
IS THAT SO BAD?
IT IS WHEN HE YELLS,
"GO, ALEX, GO."
WISH WE COULD SEND HIM
TO FOOTBALL CAMP.
YEAH, IF THEY'D
MAKE IT AFFORDABLE.
MMM-UHH.
SO, YOU GONNA YELL
MY NAME TODAY?
[UNEASILY] NO...
HEALTHY ANSWER. HERE.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
USE THE LACES LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU THROW. OK?
ALL RIGHT,
THROW IT BACK.
GO AHEAD.
[CHUCKLING]
THROW IT BACK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHY ARE YOU STANDIN'
BEHIND THE HAMPER?
MY SKATES!
I DIDN'T TOUCH 'EM!
YOU'RE WEARIN' 'EM!
NO!
OHH! MOM,
HE'S HURTING ME!
MOM! MOM!
YOU GOT JELLY
ON MY SKATES!
MOM!
MOM!
ALEX, LAY OFF
YOUR BROTHER!
MOM, HE GOT JELLY
ON MY SKATES.
OHHH...
OH, AND LISTEN.
NEXT WEEKEND,
YOU HAVE TO BABY-SIT.
NO! MOM, I'M GOIN'
TO THE MALL WITH JAMES!
WELL, THEN TAKE
STEVIE WITH YOU.
NO ARGUMENTS.
[SIGHS]
SO, YOU'VE MEOUR NEW DOG--
GOOBLE GOBBLE.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
NOT MUCH
ON CONVERSATION.
YEAH.
CHECK THIS OUT.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
YOU GOT JELLY
ON YOUR BLADES.
NO. NO.
THE DEMON CHILD
FROM THE UNDERWORLD
GOT JELLY ON MY BLADES.
STEVIE'S 10 YEARS OLD,
AND HE RULES THE HOUSE.
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
[CHUCKLES]
NOT TOO GOOD.
NOT TOO GOOD?
JAMES, IT'S HORRIBLE.
OK?
ALL HE HAS TO DO
IS MAKE A SAD FACE,
AND BAM-O,
IT'S AN INSTANT CRISIS.
"ALEX, SHARE THAWITH STEVIE."
"ALEX, DON'T DO THA'CAUSE STEVIE'LL WANTO TRY IT, TOO."
YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE
TO BE AN ONLY CHILD?
ALEX, WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME
WHEN YOU RAN OUT OF CLASS
'CAUSE YOU HEARD SOME KID
FELL IN THE FOUNTAIN AND
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS STEVIE?
SO?
SO...YOU BASICALLY
CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT.
JAMES...I'M TRYIN'
TO TRASH MY BROTHER HERE.
OK?
RIGHT. SORRY.
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
ISN'T ANYBODY
GONNA FIX THIS GATE?!
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
[CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
HIKE!
[BAND PLAYING,
PEOPLE CHEERING]
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Man: TOUCHDOWN!
[CHEERING]
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
[CROWD CHEERS]
YOU'RE ALEX. RIGHT?
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT...IS SO SAD.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
BENCH WARMER.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
HA HA HA HA!
GO, ALEX, GO!
Coach: LANSING!
FULL BLOCK
TO MY RIGHT.
OPEN YOUR EYES,
TURKEY BOY.
THE BALL'S
COMIN' TO YOU.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
[CROWD REACTION]
AH, HA HA HA HA!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
HI. SORRY.
[DRUM BEATING]
GO, ALEX...
GO, ALEX, GO!
COME ON, GO, GO, GO!
ALL RIGHT, TEAM!
[GROWLS]
COME ON, ALEX! GO!
YEAH!
YEAH!
READY...
[GROWLS]
HUT!
AAH! OOH!
AAAHH!
Crowd: OHH!
OFFSIDES!
[CROWD CHEERS AND BOOS]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
SO YOU HAD
A BAD GAME.
STOP MOPING.
I'VE GOT THIS GREAT IDEA
FOR THIS PARTNER PROJECT:
INVENTORS. YOU DO EDISON,
AND I'LL DO TESLA.
YOU KNOW THE PARABOUT TESLA BEING
THE REINCARNATION
OF THAT GUY FROM ATLANTIS
WHO INVENTED THOSE POWER BEAMS?
HERE, FIONA.
[SIGHS]
ABOUT...LAST WEEKEND.
I HOPE I DIDN'T HURT YOU.
OH, RIGHT,
LIKE YOU COULD.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
YOU REALLY LIKE SOMEBODY,
AND THEY DON'T EVEN
KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE.
I CAN RELATE.
[SIGHS]
BUT...YOU GOTTA
PICK UP THE PIECES
OF YOUR
SHATTERED LIFE
AND MOVE ON.
OOH. LUNCH
WOULD BE A START,
DON'T YOU THINK?
HEY, MAN,
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
THE NO-WHINING SECTION.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
ALEX, WILL YOU
GET OVER YOURSELF?
YOUR LIFE
IS NOT PATHETIC. OK?
THAT IS PATHETIC.
YUUUHHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
YUUUHHH!
GARY'S LIFE
IS PERFECT. OK?
HE'S ALL-CITY
IN EVERY SPORT,
HIS GIRLFRIEND FIONA'S
A MAJOR GODDESS,
AND HE DOESN'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
GET HER SOME MAROON, MAN.
NO, JAMES.
THAT'S NOT FAIR
TO THE OTHER MAROONS.
OK. ENOUGH MISERY.
DO YA...WANTO GO SKATING
ON SATURDAY?
I NAILED THAT RAIL
ON THE PARK BENCH
IN THE SQUARE.
I...CAN'T WAITO SHOW YOU.
SORRY, I'M...GOIN'
TO COIN WORLD.
WELL, HOW ABOUAFTER THAT?
UH...
I HAVE TO CLEAN OUTHE TURKEY PEN.
RIGHT. OK. LET'S SEE...
GRINDING IN THE PARK
OR SCRAPING UP
TURKEY POOP.
INTERESTING CHOICE.
YOU KNOW...
I GIVE UP.
BYE, JAMES.
SEE YA.
WHAT'S UP? YOU LOVE
SKATING WITH ABBY.
I KNOW, BUT NOW
SHE WANTS ME TO...
GO SKATING WITH HER.
[CHUCKLING]
SO...WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
NO PROBLEM. I JUST...
WANT TO BE COOL...
LIKE GARY.
YUUUHHH...
HA HA!
HA HA!
5 BUCKS WORTH
OF QUARTERS?
YEP. IF I HAVE TO
BRING STEVIE TO THE MALL,
AT LEAST I KNOW
HOW TO NEUTRALIZE HIM.
HEY!
OOP!
OHHH...
YOU OK?
YEAH! THANKS.
SLIPPED ON SOMETHIN'.
AHA!
FRENCH FRIES.
PROBABLY DROPPED BY ONE
OF THESE LITTLE MONSTERS.
HOW CAN YOU KIDS
EAT THESE THINGS?
IF THEY DON'T CLOG UP
YOUR ARTERIES, THEY FIND
ANOTHER WAY TO TAKE YOU OUT.
YOU OK, KID?
I COULD'VE SQUASHED YOU.
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
GOOD.
WELL, UH...
WHAT'S THE STANDARD REWARD
FOR A GOOD DEED THESE DAYS?
YOU GET TO BE ON TV?
[CHUCKLES] RIGHT.
HEY, LARRY.
HEY, GUYS.
I SEE YOU'VE MEMY BROTHER STEVIE.
YEAH,
WE JUST MET.
HE SAVED ME FROM A TRIP
TO THE HOSPITAL.
YOU'RE LUCKY, ALEX.
THIS IS ONE TERRIFIC
LITTLE KID.
SO, HELP ME
WITH THIS STUFF,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU GUYS
MY NEW SHIPMENOF ROMANS.
ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
OK...
OK, YOU SEE
THIS BENCH?
THIS IS THE BENCH
WHERE YOU'RE GONNA SIAND EAT YOUR FRIES.
OK? DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT MOVIN'.
I'M GONNA GO IN THERE.
I'LL BE OUIN A COUPLE OF MINUTES,
AND WE'LL GO TO THE ARCADE.
ALL RIGHT? TAKE THIS.
PUT THOSE
IN YOUR POCKET.
WANT A FRENCH FRY?
PROBABLY NOT.
RIGHT.
SO, KID...I CAN'GET YOU ON TV,
BUT, UM...
HOW 'BOUT THIS?
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S
A TRICKY LITTLE COIN...
AND IT'S GOOD
FOR ONE WISH.
IS IT?
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.
ANYWAY...
BE VERY CAREFUL WITH IT.
DO SOMETHING...
WELL, I DON'T KNOW...
DO SOMETHING BIG
WITH IT.
[DISSONANT NOTES]
HEY! HEY!
PUT THAT DOWN.
GET OUTTA HERE.
GIT! GIT! GIT!
[SIGHS] ALL RIGHT,
I'M GETTIN' TOO OLD
FOR THIS.
[BURPS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
THAT ONE'S A MINT.
SURE?
OH, YEAH.
[CONVERSATION CONTINUES,
INDISTINCT]
Larry, echoing:
DO SOMETHING BIG WITH IT.
HEY,
CHECK OUT ZEUS.
[CHUCKLES]
LOOKS LIKE
PRINCIPAL THORPE
IN A DRESS.
WRAP IT UP, GUYS.
I GOTTA CLOSE.
ALL RIGHT.
WAIT. CLOSE. WHAT--
WHAT TIME IS IT,
LARRY?
JUST ABOUT 6:00,
AND I'VE GOTTA GEOFF MY FEET.
6:00?
STEVIE.
JAMES, I GOTTA GO.
COME ON, STEVIE.
STEVIE?!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE.
STEVIE!
EXCUSE ME.
CAN YOU CALL MY MOM?
STEVIE!
[ECHOING] STEVIE!
YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOR A MONTH.
WHAT?!
NO MORE COIN WORLD.
YOU COME RIGHT HOME
AFTER SCHOOL.
AND WE'RE TAKIN' AWAY
YOUR SKATES.
YOU'RE GETTING OFF
LIGHT, MY FRIEND.
THIS WAS A MAJOR SETBACK
IN THE RESPONSIBILITY
DEPARTMENT.
WELL, STEVIE DIDN'HAVE TO RAT ME OUT.
[SIGHS]
I MEA--LOOK, I TOLD HIM
TO WAIT ON THE BENCH,
OK?
OH, SO THIS IS
ALL STEVIE'S FAULT.
HE'S 10 YEARS OLD,
ALEX.
HE WAS ALONE
AND SCARED.
I WASN'T SCARED.
[SIGHS]
HE KNOWS HE SHOULDN'HAVE RUN OFF,
AND HE'S BEING
PUNISHED, TOO.
OH, NO TV FOR A DAY?
YEAH, BIG DEAL, DAD.
WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
BEDTIME, STEVIE.
ALEX, TOO.
WHAT?
IT'S 8:30.
8:25
BY MY WATCH.
AND TOMORROW MORNING,
YOU START GARAGE CLEANUP.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUIN
MY ENTIRE LIFE?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
"DEAR, ALEX..."
[SIGHS]
"SORRY. HERE'S A COIN
THE GUY IN THE MALL GAVE ME.
"YOU CAN MAKE ONE WISH.
STEVIE."
[CRUMPLES PAPER]
ONE WISH.
RIGHT.
RIGHT NOW, I WISH
I DIDN'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
[RADIO ALARM GOES OFF]
Radio announcer:
...SO GET YOURSELF OUT OF BED.
OHHH...GREAT.
NOW I HAVE AN ALARM CLOCK.
PART OF MY PUNISHMENT.
OH, THAT TURKEY STINKS.
[STRANGE BREATHING]
[SLURPING SOUND]
[STRANGE BREATHING]
[MUFFLED BARK]
[GULPS LOUDLY]
AAAHHH!
[PASSES GAS]
"ALEX LANSING,
PLAYER OF THE YEAR."
DOUBLE EAGLES.
OK.
OK, I GET IT.
[TV PLAYS,
INDISTINCT]
WALL STREET JOURNAL.
OK. OK, I KNOW
WHAT'S GOIN' ON.
I GUESS A REALLY
FUNNY GOOD ONE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN
YOU PUT THE CEREAL
IN MY SLEEPING BAG?
BUT THIS IS BETTER.
STEVIE'S IDEA,
RIGHT?
WHO'S STEVIE?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
ALL RIGHT, LET'S STARWITH THE GIANT DOG
I HAVE IN MY ROOM.
IGGY? HOW'S HE DOIN'
THIS MORNIN'?
THE HOUSE IS BLUE?
MM-HMM,
SINCE LAST MONTH.
YOU JUST NOTICED?
GOTTA RUN.
SEE YOU AT THE GAME.
DON'T RUSH THAT PASS.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
REMEMBER,
YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS.
SOME OF THOSE
OTHER GUYS
CAN SCORE, TOO,
YOU KNOW.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, YOU GUYS.
HOLD ON A SECOND, MOM.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
WE'RE GOING TO WORK,
YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL.
NO, NO, NO.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT...IS GOING ON?
I WAS JUST GONNA
ASK YOU THAT.
EVERYTHING'S
DIFFERENT.
WE HAVE A DOG.
I HAVE THIS
INCREDIBLY COOL
COIN COLLECTION.
MY ROOM'S DIFFERENT.
THE HOUSE--
I'M DIFFERENT.
WHAT IS WITH
THIS HAIRCUT?
YEAH, I DON'LIKE IT, EITHER.
IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
SO, IS STEVIE
DIFFERENT?
WHO'S THIS STEVIE?
DAD...PLEASE DON'DO THIS RIGHT NOW, OK?
DO WHAT?
ALEX? YOU OK?
WELL, HE DOESN'HAVE A FEVER.
NO. NO. BUT, GUYS,
I DO HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
OK, WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S STEVIE?
ALEX...ARE YOU...
LONELY?
WHAT?
DO YOU...wish...
you had a brother?
MOM...W-WHADO YOU MEAN,
DO I WISH I--
OH, MAN.
OH, MAN, THAT COIN.
HONEY!
EARTH TO ALEX.
OH, MAN.
COMING UP VERY SOON,
IN JUST A MINUTE,
IN FACT,
WE ARE GONNA MEETHE STAR OF A NEW
HIT TV SHOW.
IT'S CALLED WHERE'S STEVIE?
HIS NAME IS
TERRENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK.
WHERE'S THAT COIN?
I PUT IT RIGHT HERE.
IT SHOULD BE RIGHT HERE.
NO WAY.
NO WAY...BECAUSE...
I MADE A WISH.
AND IT WORKED.
THERE'S NO STEVIE.
Woman on tv:
HERE HE IS.
ALEX!
WELCOME.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Stevie: HOW ARE YOU?
[APPLAUSE ON TV]
WE'RE TALKING WITH
TERRENCE RUSSELL McCORMICK,
THE STAR OF THE...
STEVIE?
...WHERE'S STEVIE?
SO. WHAT'S
THE MOST FUN ABOUWORKING ON WHERE'S STEVIE?
UM, PROBABLY HANGIN' OUWITH PETER MICHAEL MOORE.
HE'S REALLY THE BROTHER
THAT I NEVER HAD.
ALEX, WHY ARE YOU HANGING
ONTO THE TELEVISION?
IT'S STEVIE.
YEAH,
TERRENCE RUSSELL
McCORMACK.
HE'S SO CUTE.
YEAH.
NO. IT'S--
IT'S NOTERRENCE SOMEBODY.
IT'S STEVIE.
OK, LOOK. UM, HONEY,
YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE TO GO.
ARE YOU OK?
STEVIE! HE'S ON...
THE TELEVISION.
EVERY WEEK.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU LIKED THAT SHOW.
WHAT...SHOW?
WHERE'S STEVIE?
HE'S ON...THE TELEVISION!
ALEX,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S STEVIE!
RIGHT, FROM
THE TV SHOW.
WHAT...TV SHOW?!
WHERE'S STEVIE?
HE'S ON...
THE TELEVISION!
HONEY, UH,
WHAT'S THE JOKE?
I'M A LITTLE DENSE
THIS MORNING.
ME, TOO.
YOU GUYS REALLY
DON'T KNOW HIM?
WELL, PERSONALLY,
I WISH I WAS
HIS ACCOUNTANT.
YEAH. THAT'S
A LUCKY LITTLE KID.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S A LUCKY KID.
THAT'S A WAY LUCKY KID.
KID'S LIFE IS AWESOME.
GOTTA RUN.
SEE YOU AT THE GAME,
BLING.
BLING?
OH...
I PUT GAS
IN THE VIPER.
OH.
Dad: THANKS.
HEY, BLING...
IF YOU HURRY,
I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.
I'LL BE OUTSIDE
IN THE CAR.
HEY, CHAMP.
I MADE YOU A STAR.
YOU'RE, LIKE...
RICH AND FAMOUS,
AND...
AND I'M...
I'M AN ONLY CHILD.
[CHUCKLES]
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
I DON'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER
RUINING MY LIFE.
THIS IS...
WE HAVE A VIPER?
HEY, WHAT'S UP,
BLING?
GO, BLINGER.
HEY, IT'S BLING.
YOU THE MAN!
HEY.
HI, ALEX.
[BELL RINGS]
HI, ALEX.
HEY.
400 YARDS TODAY.
OK, BLING?
ALL RIGHT.
ALEX.
HELLO!
DIDN'T YOU
EVEN SEE ME?
YOU WERE GONNA MEET ME
BY THE FOUNTAIN.
UH...
DUDE!
GARY, I DIDN'T TALK
TO HER, OK?
I WAS JUST STANDING HERE.
I WAS JUST--
SO?
ARE WE, LIKE...
BREAKING UP?
BECAUSE THAT WOULD
BE SO NOT ME, BEING
DUMPED BY MY BOYFRIEND.
BOYFRIEND...
ME.
HA!
I GOT YA!
HA HA HA!
THAT'S IT.
YOU SCARED ME.
WE GONNA KICK
SOME WILDCAT BUTTODAY, BLING?
YEAH!
WE'RE GONNA
MAKE 'EM SORRY
THEY GOT ON THE BUS.
ALL RIGHT!
"BLING"?
LIKE IN BLING-BLING?
DUDE,
THE PARTY STILL ON,
YOUR PLACE?
PARTY.
HELLO?!
AFTER THE GAME!
AT MY PLACE. UM...
YEAH. YEAH.
I MEAN, YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
OHHH!
LANSING. EAT GOOD
BEFORE THE GAME, EH?
LOTS OF CARBS.
OK.
[BELL RINGS]
WE'RE READY
TO PLAY, COACH.
Boys: DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
UM...I'LL MEET UP
WITH YOU LATER. OK?
OK. OK.
FIONA'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
YES. AND THE JOCKS
LIKE YOU.
[SIGHS]
HOW COULD THE DISAPPEARANCE
OF ONE LITTLE KID
CHANGE EVERYTHING
IN YOUR LIFE?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
HEY. DRAMA CLUB...
I'M TRYIN' OUT.
[BELL RINGS]
HEY, ABBS.
WHAT...
ARE YOU DOING?
UM...
SITTING DOWN.
[CHUCKLES]
HERE?
THAT IS NOYOUR SEAT. HELLO!
I KNOW.
I WAS JUST, UM...
SAYING HI TO ABBY.
WHY?
WHY?
MR. LANSING,
WOULD YOU KINDLY TAKE
YOUR ASSIGNED SEASO WE CAN BEGIN?
YEAH.
RIGHT.
NOT THAT SEAT,
EITHER.
I KNEW THAT.
[SNAP]
[CHUCKLES]
Boy: BRAVO.
Girl: YEAH, BRAVO!
OK. LAST WEEK'S ESSAYS.
B+. THAT'S SWEET.
[CHUCKLES]
KING BLING JOCK THING
GETS A B+.
WHAT?
OH, NEVER MIND.
YOU KNOW,
PART OF GOIN' TO SCHOOL
IS FIGURIN' OUTHAT LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
GREAT GAME LAST FRIDAY,
BY THE WAY.
[CHUCKLES] THANKS.
Teacher: OK, CLASS.
LET'S REVIEW WHAYOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
ABOUT THE
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE.
YAY, RAIDER MEN!
HOW DO WE WANT IT?
HOW DO WE WANT IT?
GO, TEAM, GO!
[CHEERING]
OK. AS USUAL,
WE RUN THE OFFENSE
THROUGH ALEX.
WHAT?
[LOUD GULP]
WHAT A...
WHAT A...GOOD IDEA.
[CHUCKLES]
I'M SO GLAD
YOU THINK SO.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
OK, COME ON!
LET'S DO IT!
COME ON,
HUDDLE UP THERE!
COME ON!
HERE WE GO, GUYS.
OK!
1, 2, 3! RAIDERS!
COME ON, GUYS!
CLEAR IT OUT!
LET'S TAKE ITO 'EM!
GARY. HEY, UM...
YOU KNOW
WHAT POSITION
YOU PLAY, RIGHT?
YEAH?
OK. SO...
YOU KNOW WHAT POSITION
I PLAY, RIGHT?
YEAH.
GARY...WHAT POSITION
DO I PLAY?
QUARTERBACK.
QUARTERBACK.
[CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY]
OH, THIS'LL BE GOOD.
[SIGHS]
[CROWD CHEERS]
COME ON!
OK, GUYS.
QUICKER FLY,
ON 2, YEAH?
Teammates: YEAH!
ALL RIGHT.
1, 2, 3.
All: BREAK!
GARY, THE BALL'S
COMING TO YOU, OK?
ALL RIGHT.
RIGHT.
BLUE, 62...
DOWN.
SET.
HUT. HUT.
UHH!
[CROWD GROANS]
DAVE, SOMETHING ODD
IS GOING ON WITH ALEX.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ROLL
WITH THE POCKET.
HEY, BUD.
DON'T LET THAT BIG GUY
PSYCH YOU OUT.
WHAT?
DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT BIG KID IN CAMP?
CAMP?
FOOTBALL CAMP,
5 YEARS AGO.
HE HAD YOUR NUMBER,
BUT YOU LEARNED HOW
TO HANDLE HIM. REMEMBER?
[CHUCKLES]
I WENT TO CAMP.
AND EVERY YEAR SINCE,
YOU FIGURED OUT EVEN
MORE WAYS TO BEAT 'EM.
RIGHT, 'CAUSE
WE CAN AFFORD THAT.
HUH?
BECAUSE
I'M AN ONLY CHILD?
YEAH.
YOU'RE THE MAN.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
OUR ONE AND ONLY.
HEY, LANSING!
YOU BACK FROM WHATEVER
OTHER UNIVERSE YOU WERE IN?
COME ON!
All: BREAK!
SET.
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON--
HUT.
[CROWD CHEERS]
SET.
HA HA!
HUT!
YEAH! WHOO!
WHOO!
Crowd: GO, BLING, GO!
HEY, GOOD PARTY.
THANKS.
BLING, YOU ROCK!
AH...
MY MOM'S
FAVORITE MAGAZINE.
DAD, DAD, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
SORRY. I LEFMY EARPLUGS IN THE CAR.
WHAT?
ALEX!
SO, WHAT WAS THE MATTER
WITH YOU AT THE STAROF THE GAME ANYWAY?
YOU LOOKED
TOTALLY CLUELESS.
I KNOW. IT'S 'CAUSE
I'M ACTUALLY FROM
AN ALTERNATE REALITY.
BEFORE THE GAME TODAY,
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAPOSITION I PLAYED.
WELL, THAT'S
WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE.
DON'T LET IHAPPEN AGAIN, OK?
YEAH, YEAH,
NO PROBLEM. I, UH--
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
ROLLER BLADING TOMORROW?
ROLLER BLADING? HELLO?
FIRST OFF, FREAKS
ROLLER BLADE, OK?
AND SECOND OFF, WE'RE
TAKING THE PHOTOS FOR
OUR MATCHING T-SHIRTS.
MATCHING T-SHIRTS?
OH, BLING, YOU WON'BELIEVE IT, MAN.
THE CHICKEN GEEK
IS HERE. COME ON!
EXCUSE ME.
HEY, ABBS.
Party guests:
CHICKEN BOY! CHICKEN BOY!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOUR HONORS, BLING.
CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY! CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY!
JAMES.
CHICKEN BOY!
OH, FORGET IT.
I'LL DO IT.
[GUESTS LAUGHING
AND CHEERING]
Alex:
HEY, JAMES! WAIT!
JAMES!
JAMES!
HE'S RICH,
HE'S FAMOUS,
AND HE'S ALL
OVER THE PLACE.
JAMES.
HEY, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
WHAT? YOU'RE NODONE WITH ME YET?
NO, I...
I CAME BY TO APOLOGIZE.
DON'T EVEN BOTHER,
SUPERJOCK.
HEY, HEY!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
I GOT TO SHOW YOU
THIS COLLECTION YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO BELIEVE, MAN.
A WHOLE ALBUM
OF PRE-1700's.
PRE WHAT?
COINS.
AND YOU WANTO SHOW ME THIS BECAUSE?
I--
ALEX!
SARA SAID YOU WERE
TALKING TO ABBY RICHARDSON.
AT THE PARTY?
UH, I SAID HI?
AND NOW I FIND YOU
TALKING TO...
JAMES COOPER.
THANK YOU.
WHAT IS GOING ON, ALEX?
WHAT?
HOW DO YOU THINK
THIS MAKES ME LOOK?
HOW?
GIVE ME AN "L,"
GIVE ME ON "O,"
GIVE ME AN S-S-E-R-S.
WHAT'S IT SPELL?
LOSERS?
THANK YOU.
NOT JUST LOSERS,
MASSIVE, EL GRANDE,
MEGA-LOSERS.
NO OFFENSE.
YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND.
I HAVE AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.
ARE YOU, LIKE,
GOING WEIRD OR ANYTHING?
BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO NOT ME
HAVING A WEIRD BOYFRIEND.
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME
RIGHT NOW.
HEY, ABBS.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
YOU? YOU WANTO SIT WITH US?
YEAH.
STOP. HALT.
IS THIS SOME KIND
OF JOCK JOKE?
WHAT?
NO.
NO, ABBS, JUSLET ME EXPLAIN--
FIRST OF ALL,
IF YOU CALL ME "ABBS"
ONE MORE TIME,
YOU WILL REGRET IT.
AND SECOND,
GO AWAY.
LOOK,I--I KNOW
I'M DIFFERENT, BUT...
ABBS, IF YOU JUSGIVE ME A CHANCE--
GOT MILK?
[ALL LAUGHING]
[DOG'S STOMACH GRUMBLES,
PASSES GAS]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN.
YO, BLING.
WHAT UP?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
COME ON. I'M HIP.
RIGHT?
I CAN TALK THE LINE.
RIGHT.
YOU, UH,
REDISCOVERING
THE OLD COLLECTION, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU HAVEN'TOUCHED THOSE COINS
SINCE FOREVER.
REALLY? I FORGOHOW AWESOME IT IS.
NOT THAT MANY ANCIENTS.
NO DIDRACHMS OR HEMIDRACHMS
OR ANYTHING,
BUT IT'S STILL AWESOME.
AWESOME INVESTMENT, TOO.
SO YOU LIKE THOSE
OLD GUYS, HUH?
YEAH, YEAH.
ALEX,
YOU'VE SEEMED
KIND OF...
DISTRACTED LATELY.
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG?
NO, NO.
I'M KIND OF TIRED THOUGH.
I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP.
OK.
WELL, SEE YOU
IN THE MORNING.
OK.
[WORLD OF OUR OWN PLAYING]
YOU MAKE ME FEEL FUNNY
WHEN YOU COME AROUND
AND THAT'S WHAI'VE FOUND OUT, HONEY
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
YOU MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY
WHEN I LEAVE YOU BEHIND
IT PLAYS ON MY MIND
NOW, HONEY
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
OH!
TOOK FOR GRANTED
EVERYTHING WE HAD
AS IF I'D FIND SOMEONE
WHO'S JUST LIKE YOU
WE GOT A LITTLE
WORLD OF OUR OWN
I'LL TELL YOU THINGS
THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS
I'LL LET YOU IN
WHERE NO ONE ELSE GOES
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
AND ALL OF THE THINGS
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE
OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR
AND ALL OF THE TIME
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING NEW
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
WELL, IT'S FEELING
RIGHT NOW
SO LET'S
DO IT RIGHT NOW
PRAYING THAT SOMEHOW...
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
AND SOMEONE ELSES
BY ADOPTING
A BROTHER FOR LIFE.
YOU'RE MY BIG BROTHER,
AND I GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.
MAKE A YOUNG BOY'S
WISH COME TRUE.
HIS LIFE WILL
NEVER BE THE SAME.
[SIGHS]
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT,
TERENCE RUSSELL McSTEVIE.
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
WE GOT A LITTLE
WORLD OF OUR OWN
I'LL TELL YOU THINGS
THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS
I'LL LET YOU IN WHERE
NO ONE ELSE GOES
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
AND ALL OF THE THINGS
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE
OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR...
THANK YOU.
HEY, ABBS.
ABBY.
EXCUSE ME.
I'M BUSY HERE, OK?
THANK YOU, SIR.
HOPE YOU WIN.
I COULD USE
A LITTLE LUCK.
LARRY! HEY!
YEAH. DO I KNOW YOU?
YEAH. YEAH, IT'S ME.
ALEX LANSING.
I GO TO COIN WORLD
A LOT.
UH, WELL, I GUESS
I DON'T ANYMORE.
ANYWAYS,
WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, THIS?
I BIT THE DUSOUTSIDE MY SHOP
AND BROKE
A COUPLE THINGS.
RIGHT. NO STEVIE.
WHO?
NOTHING. I'M SORRY.
YEAH. WELL, I WANTED
TO RETIRE AND GET OFF MY FEET.
I GUESS I GOT THAT WISH.
ANYWAY, MY MAN,
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY
AND WATCH OUFOR FRENCH FRIES.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
DO YOU WANT TO BUY
A RAFFLE TICKET?
YOU CAN HELP BUY
FOOD FOR THE HOMELESS.
YOU COULD WIN A FREEZER!
I'LL TAKE 3.
FILL OUT THE STUB.
SO, ABBS--
ABBY. I'M SORRY.
I'M--ABBY.
UM...
SO YOU SKATE?
YEAH.
SO, DO YOU MAYBE WANTO GO SKATING SOMETIME?
I KNOW A GREAT PLACE
IN THE PARK.
[CHUCKLES]
DID YOU LOSE
A BET OR SOMETHING?
[LAUGHS]
WHAT--WHAT KIND OF GUY
DO YOU THINK I AM?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
YEAH.
I THINK YOU'RE THE KIND OF
MAJOR POP-STAR JOCK
WHO HAS TO HAVE THE MAJOR
POP-STAR-CHEERLEADER-GIRLFRIEND,
EVEN THOUGH
SHE'S MEANER THAN A SNAKE.
AND YOU THINK THATHE WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM
REVOLVES AROUND YOU.
AND?
AND YOU'RE NOEVEN EMBARRASSED
THAT TEACHERS
GIVE YOU BETTER GRADES
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN
THROW A LONG BOMB,
EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT.
DOES THAANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH
COVERS IT, I GUESS.
SO WHY ARE YOU EVEN
TALKING TO ME?
I DON'T KNOW.
YO, BLING!
HEADS UP!
TOUCHDOWN! LANSING
CATCHES THE DEAD COW.
EAST FREMONIS SO TOAST.
Chanting: DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE
DUDE DUDE DUDE.
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
COME ON! YEAH!
[DOG SNORING]
[FLY BUZZING]
[SNORING]
FUNNY PANCAKES.
HEY, BLING.
BIG DAY TODAY.
Alex: WHAT?
ALEX, YOU HAVEN'EATEN ANYTHING THIS MORNING.
NO, IT'S SATURDAY.
IT'S SATURDAY.
DAD, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO MAKE FUNNY PANCAKES?
WOW! I FORGOALL ABOUT THOSE.
GEE, ALEX,
I HAVEN'T MADE
FUNNY PANCAKES SINCE
YOU WERE ABOUT 5.
THERE'S, UH,
POP-UP WAFFLES IN THE FREEZER.
YOU LOVE THOSE.
POP-UP WAFFLES?
YOU GUYS ARE
GOING OUT THIS EARLY?
YOUR MOM'S DRAGGING ME
INTO THAT DENSE FORESSHE WORKS WITH.
YOU KNOW, THE PARTNER'S
BIG TENTH ANNIVERSARY
THING FOR THE FIRM.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S THE SAME DAY AS YOUR DEAL.
WHAT?
BUT IT'S A GREAT EXCUSE
TO SNEAK AWAY EARLY.
WE'LL MEET YOU
AT SCHOOL AT 8:00.
FOR WHAT?
THE ATHLETIC AWARD.
THE HARBOR HIGH
CIVIC PRIDE AWARDS.
THE MALE ATHLETIC AWARD?
ALEX LANSING?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NO! OH, NO!
HE FORGOT!
THAT'S MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY, ALEX.
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S JUST BEEN
SO NUTS AT WORK.
UH, YOUR SUIT IS READY,
AND GARY'S FOLKS ARE
PICKING YOU UP AT 7:30.
OH, AND HONEY,
THERE'S A BOX OF
OLD TOYS AND STUFF
FOR THE CHARITY DRIVE
IN THE ATTIC.
IT SAYS, "GIVE AWAY."
BRING IT DOWN FOR ME,
WILL YA?
LATER, SUPERSTAR.
OK.
WHATEVER KIND
OF GUY I AM NOW,
I DO NOT LOVE
POP-UP WAFFLES.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Woman on TV: AAH!
WHAT?
STEVIE LOVED
THESE HAND-ME-DOWNS.
AAH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, MELODY.
LAST AND CERTAINLY
NOT LEAST,
OUR FINAL RECIPIENHAS DEMONS--
HAS DEMONSTRATED
HIS COMMITMENTO EXCELLENCE IN ATHLETICS.
AND HE'S DONE IWITH THE HIGHESDEGREE OF SPORTSMANSHIP.
I'M SPEAKING
OF COURSE OF--
GO, DUDE!
All: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!
RIGHT. GO DUDE.
THANK YOU.
ALEX LANSING.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
COOL!
STEVIE.
I, UM...
I DON'T REALLY
DESERVE THIS,
BECAUSE, WELL...
I'M NOT REALLY
THE ALEX LANSING
THAT YOU SEE UP HERE.
THE REAL ALEX LANSING
LIVES IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT...
DIMENSION OR SOMETHING.
HE'S A MAJOR LOSER.
HE CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
HE'S GOT A LITTLE
BROTHER NAMED STEVIE
WHO HE BLAMED FOR
THINGS THAT WEREN'REALLY HIS FAULT AT ALL
AND MADE HIM DISAPPEAR.
POOF.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
[GULP]
WOULDN'T IT BE WEIRD
IF THINGS LIKE THACOULD REALLY HAPPEN?
OF COURSE,
THEY CAN'T.
[GROUP LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
BUT WHAT IF THEY DID?
I MEAN, WINNING AWARDS
IS GREAT AND ALL,
BUT THERE'S...
OTHER STUFF.
SO...
TRY TO APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU GOT,
'CAUSE SOMEDAY
IT MIGHT NOT BE THERE,
AND YOU'RE
REALLY, REALLY...
GOING TO MISS HIM.
IT. IT.
THAT'S ALL.
THANKS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OK, IT WAS NOYOUR TYPICAL
THANK-YOU SPEECH,
BUT I THINK
IT WAS VERY...
ORIGINAL.
THE PARKERS THOUGHIT WAS WONDERFUL.
YAY FOR ME.
I KNOW WHAT'LL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
A POP-UP WAFFLE.
NO, NO, MOM, I DON'T WANA POP-UP WAFFLE, OK?
I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY.
[SIGHS]
[FLY BUZZING]
HE'S HERE...
DOING A TV SHOW.
ALEX,
WE NEED TO TALK.
THIS STEVIE DEAL--
THERE'S NO STEVIE.
NO. TERENCE RUSSELL
McCORMACK, ACTOR.
SEE?
OH!
OH!
AAH!
UHH! SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
JAMES.
OH, MAN.
SUPERJOCK STRIKES AGAIN!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE ANYWAY?
I, UM...
I...
I JUST CAME BY TO SEE
TERENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK.
MY MOM'S
A BIG FAN, AND I...
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL
IF I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
TAKING HIM SOME CHICKEN.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
WHO?
TERENCE RUSSELL McTHING,
OR WHATEVER--THE KID.
I'LL TAKE IT.
WHAT? NO WAY!
AW! REAL GOOD!
I'M GOING TO GET FIRED.
JAMES,
I SERIOUSLY
HAVE TO DELIVER
THAT CHICKEN, OK?
IT'S PERSONAL.
I GOT TO GET THE MONEY.
THIS IS MY JOB.
WHAT? I DON'T GET A TIP?
IT'S ALL YOURS, MAN.
I'LL NEED THE BIKE
AND UNIFORM BACK BY 5:00.
OH, AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE
WHEN YOU DELIVER THE CHICKEN.
COMPANY PROTOCOL.
WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
YEAH, I HAVE
A CHICKEN DELIVERY
FOR TERENCE
RUSSELL McCORMACK.
JAMIE?
THE KID ORDER CHICKEN?
Jamie on walkie-talkie:
UH, ROGER, ROGER.
ROGER.
OK. THAT WAY.
THANKS.
SO THE KID JUST ASKS,
"YOU GOT ANY KIDS?"
AND I SAY,"YEAH.
YEAH, I HAVE."
HE SAYS, "WHAT SHOW
ARE THEY ON?"
IS THAT SAD OR WHAT?
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
IT'S ALL
MY BROTHER'S FAULT.
I WAS JUST FINE
UNTIL HE ALTERED
MY ENTIRE REALITY.
I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS GOING TO WORK.
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
I'M SORRY.
DID YOU FORGETHE SPECIAL SAUCE AGAIN?
NO--NO. NEVER MIND.
IT'S ALL THERE.
THIS CHICKEN'S DIRTY.
YOU--YOU DON'EVEN KNOW ME?
OH, MY GOSH!
YOU'RE...
YOU'RE
THE CHICKEN GUY.
WHAT ARE
YOU WAITING FOR?
OH, OK.
HERE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
IT'S ME. ALEX.
[SOFTLY] OK.
"ME ALEX."
YOU CAN GO NOW.
WAIT.
WHAT SOUNDED BETTER?
"IT'S ALL
MY BROTHERS FAULT,"
OR "IT'S ALL MY
BROTHER'S FAULT?"
I'M NOT--
SIT DOWN A MINUTE.
BROCCOLI?
UH, NO, THANKS.
I DON'T LIKE 'EM EITHER.
THEY WON'T LET ME
HAVE COOKIES.
PICK A CARD, ANY CARD.
DON'T SHOW IT TO ME.
PUT IT BACK, ANYWHERE.
PUT IT BACK.
CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION?
IS THIS YOUR CARD?
UM, NO.
DO YOU--DO YOU
LIKE YOUR LIFE?
NO?!
IT NEVER WORKS!
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!
DO YOU LIKE
YOUR FAMILY?
BUT OF COURSE.
I HAVE A WONDERFUL MOTHER
WHO I JUST SAW LAST WEEK
AND A WONDERFUL FATHER
SOMEPLACE IN ARIZONA.
Woman: I THINK HE'LL
BE PERFECT FOR THE PART.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
OH, AND WONDERFUL
BABY WRANGLER NAMED ZOE.
AH. WHO HASN'T HAD
ENOUGH ENERGY TODAY?
AND WHO HASN'T BEEN
SMILING ENOUGH?
SPARKLE, SPARKLE, SPARKLE.
SMILE, SMILE, SMILE.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M HIS...
I'M THE CHICKEN GUY.
HUH.
OK, SWEETIE BOY,
THEY'RE ALMOSREADY FOR YOU.
OH, AND I JUST READ
A NEW SCRIPT FOR YOU.
THIS TIME YOU PLAY A REAL,
REGULAR, ORDINARY KID.
A REGULAR KID...
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
I COULD SHOW YOU.
YOU COULD
COME BY MY HOUSE.
I COULD?
YEAH, YEAH.
1721 WYSTERIA DRIVE.
STOP BY ANYTIME.
I GOT TO GO BACK
TO L.A. TOMORROW.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAD
A LOT MORE FUN WHEN
YOU WERE MY BROTHER.
WHEN DID I PLAY
YOUR BROTHER?
IN REAL LIFE.
I WAS TEACHING YOU
HOW TO THROW A SPIRAL.
YOU WERE BASICALLY
DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I HAD TO KICK YOU OUOF MY ROOM A LOT.
BUT WE PLAYED
GAMES, YOU KNOW, LIKE
SLIME WARS, SEEFOOD.
THAT'S WHERE YOU
OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH
AND YOU SHOW
EVERYBODY WHAT YOU ATE.
SECURITY!
WAIT.
SECURITY!
THERE'S
A LUNATIC IN HERE
WHO THINKS
I'M HIS BROTHER!
I WASN'T GONNA
HURT HIM, OK?
WE WERE JUSTALKING.
I KNOW.
SO I GUESS HIS LIFE
ISN'T AS HAPPY
AS I THOUGHT.
HAPPY? POOR KID.
I WOULDN'WISH HIS LIFE ON A DOG.
MAKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
WALKIN' FAST
FACES PASSIN',
I'M HOME BOUND
STARIN' BLANKLY AHEAD
JUST MAKIN' MY WAY
MAKIN' MY WAY
THROUGH THE CROWD
AND I NEED YOU
AND I MISS YOU
AND NOW I WONDER
IF I COULD FALL
INTO THE SKY
DO YOU THINK TIME
WOULD PASS ME BY?
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES
IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU
IF I COULD FALL
INTO THE SKY
DO YOU THINK TIME
WOULD PASS ME BY?
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES
IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU
IF I COULD JUSHOLD YOU
[GOBBLING]
TONIGHT
GOOBLE GOBBLE.
HEY, WAIT!
HEY, WAIT! HEY!
STOP! HEY!
[WHISTLES]
[HUMMING]
HMM?
STOP THE CAR!
STOP THE CAR!
PULL OVER!
HEY!
STEVIE--I MEAN,
TERENCE.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
NOTHIN'.
I'M DONE FOR THE DAY.
I'M GOIN' BACK
TO THE HOTEL.
HOW COME YOU'RE
TALKIN' TO ME?
DIDN'T YOU JUSKICK ME OUT OF YOUR
DRESSING ROOM?
FORGET ABOUT IT.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
NO PLACE.
THAT SOUNDS WAY BETTER.
HEY, RON, I'M GONNA
WALK WITH MY FRIEND
FOR A WHILE.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER
TO PICK ME UP.
I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU
TO THE HOTEL.
SO? I WANNA HANG OUWITH MY FRIEND.
[SIGHS]
I DON'T KNOW, TERENCE.
YOU WANT ME
TO START SCREAMING?
NO.
OK, OK.
HOW ABOUT I WALK
AND YOU FOLLOW?
ALL RIGHT, BUT STAY
WHERE I CAN SEE YOU.
OK.
THEY NEVER LET ME
DO ANYTHING.
YEAH.
HEY, DO YOU KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOUR LEFAND YOUR RIGHT?
THIS IS CAMERA LEFT,
THIS IS CAMERA RIGHT.
OK, WHEN
I GIVE THE SIGNAL,
I WANT YOU TO
TURN TO YOUR LEFAND RUN, OK?
OK, WHAT'S THE SIGNAL?
Alex: UM...
I'LL SAY
"CHOCOLATE," OK?
OK.
CHOCOLATE!
[SIGHS]
OH, NO.
Alex: OK, SO HOW MUCH
TROUBLE ARE YOU IN?
RON WILL KEEP
LOOKING BY HIMSELF
FOR ABOUT AN HOUR,
THEN HE'LL CALL FOR HELP.
WE'RE HAVING A REAL-LIFE
ADVENTURE, RIGHT?
YOU AND ME?
RIGHT.
YEAH!
HEY, LOOK! IT'S
TERENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK!
HEY--HEY--HEY--HEY!
WAIT A MINUTE.
I ALWAYS WANTED TO RIDE
ONE OF THESE THINGS.
THEY WOULD NEVER LET ME.
CAN I HAVE A QUARTER?
YEAH, YEAH.
[COINS CLANK]
OH, LOOK THERE.
YOU DROP THAT?
THANKS.
YEAH! WHOO!
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE DIDN'T GIVE HIM
THE COIN.
WHAT?
IF HE DIDN'T GIVE STEVIE
THE COIN AT THE MALL,
THEN HE STILL
HAS IT, RIGHT?
WHO--WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
COME ON. WE HAVE
TO GET TO THE MALL
BEFORE IT CLOSES.
WAIT! GET ME OUOF THIS THING!
OH, NO! NO!
AW, IT CAN'T BE!
WHAT?
COIN WORLD.
IT'S OUT OF BUSINESS.
AW, MAN, NOW HOW AM I
GONNA FIND HIM?
Alex: TICKETS.
RAFFLE TICKETS.
ABBY SOLD HIM
A RAFFLE TICKET.
THAT'S IT.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING?
BACK TO OUR OLD LIVES,
I HOPE.
WHO LIVES HERE?
JUST--JUST CHILL, OK?
NOW WHAT?
OH, ARE YOU TRYING
TO IMPRESS ME
JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW
A MOVIE STAR?
I'M NOA MOVIE STAR.
I'M A REGULAR,
ORDINARY KID.
MMM.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
FOR WHAT?
YOU KNOW
THAT SPEECH I GAVE
AT THE AWARDS THING?
IT'S TRUE.
[DOOR CLOSES]
YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU AND I WERE BEST FRIENDS,
YOU WISHED
ON A MAGIC COIN,
HE WAS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER,
AND WE'RE ALL IN
AN ALTERNATE REALITY.
YES, YES.
NO. NO WAY.
Alex: WHY NOT?
BECAUSE YOU AND I
COULD HAVE NEVER
BEEN BEST FRIENDS.
OK, OK. TELL ME
HOW I KNOW THIS.
WHEN WE WERE 5,
YOU CRIED FOR A WEEK
'CAUSE YOUR SISTER TOLD YOU
ABBY WAS SHORT FOR ABNORMAL.
YOU'RE AFRAID OF PARROTS,
CLOWNS, AND FALLING SPACE JUNK.
DID YOU BRIBE MEGHAN?
NO, YOU TOLD ME
THOSE THINGS, ABBS.
LOOK, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
THAT CAN HELP ME, OK?
YOU'VE GOT LARRY'S ADDRESS
ON A RAFFLE TICKET STUB.
HE CAN GIVE ME THE COIN,
AND I CAN GET THE REAL
STEVIE BACK.
SO YOU'RE TELLIN' ME
THAT IN THE LIFE
WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW,
I JUST GOT BORN
INTO THE WRONG FAMILY?
EXACTLY.
WOW, REAL LIFE
IS WAY WEIRDER
THAN SHOW BUSINESS.
OK, LET ME
UNDERSTAND THIS.
YOU ARE THE MOSSICKENINGLY
POPULAR GUY
AT HARPER
HIGH SCHOOL,
AND YOU WANNA GEYOUR NONEXISTENT...
SEMI-NONEXISTENBROTHER BACK
AND CHANGE ALL THAT?
YES.
OK, LET'S GET BUSY.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SLIP
INTO THE WRONG DIMENSIONS
ALL THE TIME.
LIKE, THEY FOUND THIS GUY
SOMEWHERE IN, LIKE, GEORGIA,
AND HE HAD THIS OLD
CIVIL WAR UNIFORM ON,
AND HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT CARS OR--
Alex: I GOT IT!
NO. "LUCKY SORENSON."
...OR ANYTHING.
SO THEY PUT HIM
IN A HOSPITAL,
AND THEY GAVE HIM
COLORING BOOKS.
ONE TIME,
I HAD AN AGENWHO SPONTANEOUSLY
COMBUSTED.
HE DID!
WHAT'S MY CAT'S NAME?
MR. TERWILLIGER,
BUT YOU CALL HIM TWIX.
YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE WHO HAVE
SUPERNATURAL EXPERIENCES
ARE OFTEN TREATED
LIKE OUTCASTS.
IN SOME COUNTRIES--
WHAT'S
MY FAVORITE SNACK?
MUSTARD AND SUGAR
SANDWICHES.
EWW.
RIGHT.
IN SOME COUNTRIES,
PEOPLE'S EYEBALLS
ARE GOUGED OUT AND EATEN
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY'VE SEEN TOO MUCH.
COOL.
YEAH, AND THEN EVERYBODY
WORSHIPS THEM,
BECAUSE THEY'RE, LIKE,
MAGIC BLIND PEOPLE.
I FOUND IT!
I FOUND IT!
I THINK.
LARRY SOMETHING
WITH A "P."
LARRY PENDRAGON.
MAYBE HE'S A WIZARD.
LET'S GO.
HEY, HOLD IT!
WE CAN'T GO
RUNNING AROUND
WITH A MOVIE STAR.
Alex: GOOD POINT.
OH, NO.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME.
DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU WANT ME
TO START SCREAMIN'?
THERE'LL BE
NO SCREAMING, OK?
YOU DO WHATEVER WE SAY.
GOT IT?
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
WE NEED A DISGUISE.
YOU KNOW, I BET YOUR PARENTS
ARE OUT LOOKING FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW.
OR THE POLICE, EVEN.
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?
IF I CAN FIND LARRY
AND GET THE COIN BACK,
NONE OF THIS
WILL HAVE EVER HAPPENED.
GOOD POINT.
[GASPING]
2354. HERE IT IS.
HOW AM I DOIN'?
I'M DOIN' OK, RIGHT?
I'M NOT SCREAMING.
I'M HELPING, RIGHT?
Alex: YEAH.
YEAH.
6-A.
UH-OH.
THIS MUST BE
THE WRONG PLACE.
IT'S THE RIGHT NUMBER.
[DOOR CREAKS]
WHO'S THERE?
OH, EXCUSE US.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
LARRY PENDRAGON.
HE MOVED. THE STAIRS
WERE TOO MUCH.
GREAT.
UM, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE HE MOVED?
BEELER STREET.
THE SUNNYVILLE
RETIREMENT MANOR, OK?
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES]
WHAT?
[BELL CLANGS]
YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO COME WITH ME.
I WANTED TO.
SO WAS FIONA
YOUR GIRLFRIEND--
YOU KNOW,
IN YOUR OTHER LIFE?
NAH. NO WAY.
CLOSEST THING I HAD
TO A GIRLFRIEND WAS YOU.
I--YOU WEREN'MY GIRLFRIEND.
WE WERE JUST FRIENDS.
JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.
INTERESTING.
SO ARE YOU, LIKE,
CUTER NOW?
I DON'T THINK SO.
SMARTER?
NO.
AM I DIFFERENT?
NO.
BUT YOU NEVER
TALKED TO ME
TILL THE OTHER DAY.
I GUESS, YEAH.
SO IN THIS
PARALLEL UNIVERSE
YOU'RE, LIKE,
MORE OF, UM...
A JERK.
DEFINITELY, HEH.
HEY, GUYS, LOOK,
I FOUND A DIME!
THIS IS WAY COOLER
THAN A LIMO.
[BELL RINGS]
Dispatcher on police radio:
COME IN.
13 PROMENADE...
DON'T WORRY.
IF THEY PUT YOU IN JAIL,
YOU CAN USE
MY LAWYER.
GREAT.
[CLOCK TICKING]
THERE'S NOBODY AROUND.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO FIND HIM?
LISTEN.
MAYBE IT'S REALLY
A SECRET LABORATORY
RUN BY
A MAD SCIENTIST.
OK, WELL,
YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE
IF YOU WANT TO.
NO WAY.
THE PERSON
WHO WAITS OUTSIDE
ALWAYS GETS EATEN FIRST.
[MUSIC PLAYS, LAUGHTER]
[PLAYS SOUR NOTES]
LARRY--LARRY--
IT'S LARRY.
OH! EXCUSE US!
EXCUSE US.
[MUSIC STOPS]
WE'RE HERE TO SEE
LARRY PENDRAGON.
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
OH, WELL,
I GUESS YOU'LL--
[SOUR NOTE]
ALL HAVE TO
EXCUSE ME. HA HA.
All: AW.
LARRY.
Conductor:
AH, ONE MORE TIME.
[MUSIC RESUMES]
WHOO! THANKS, GUYS.
I NEVER COULD STAND
THE ACCORDION MYSELF,
BUT, HEY, IT'S MUSIC.
SO WHAT,
I WON THE RAFFLE?
UH, NO, SORRY.
BUT THE DRAWING'S
NOT TILL NEXT WEEK,
SO MAYBE YOU DID.
WELL, HOPE SPRINGS
ETERNAL, RIGHT?
LOOK, YOU GOT THIS COIN
I HAVE TO FIND.
OH, MAN, I'M SORRY.
I CLOSED DOWN
MY COIN BUSINESS.
I COULDN'HANDLE IT ANYMORE.
THIS IS REALLY
CRITICAL, LARRY.
YEAH, THERE IS
A SEMI-NONEXISTENHUMAN LIFE AT STAKE HERE.
Stevie:
WHICH IS ME...
IN ANOTHER
DIMENSION.
OK, COOL.
COME THIS WAY.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE THESE ALL THE COINS
YOU HAVE LEFT?
Larry: THAT'S IT.
SO YOU SAID IT HAD
AN OWL ON IT?
YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S PROBABLY
A GREAT TETRADRACH.
MORE THAN ONE
OF THOSE HAD AN OWL.
Alex: WELL, THIS ONE
WAS GOOD FOR ONE WISH.
I HEARD ABOUT SOMETHING
LIKE THAT ONCE.
OR MAYBE I DREAMED IT.
ANYWAY,
THERE'S NOTHING HERE,
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GONNA FIND
AN OWL IN THAT GROUP.
AN OWL. AN OWL.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE MAY HAVE BEEN
AN OWL IN A BAG
THAT I SOLD JUST BEFORE
I CLOSED SHOP.
OK, WELL, DO YOU KNOW
WHO YOU SOLD IT TO?
PROBABLY A DEALER.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
ANY RECORD OF IT.
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, ALEX.
WE'D BETTER GO.
YEAH.
SURE WISH I COULD
HELP YOU GUYS.
KINDA MISS YOU KIDS.
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S BACK TO
THE OLD RECITAL.
ALL RIGHT. WELL,
THANKS ANYWAYS, LARRY.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU, LARRY.
SEE YA, ABBS.
LOOK, I KNOW
IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP,
BUT I PROMISE NOT TO POUR
ANY MORE DAIRY PRODUCTS
ON YOUR HEAD.
AND IT WAS NICE
MEETING YOU, TERENCE.
NICE MEETING YOU, TOO.
SORRY I DIDN'HAVE AN AUTOGRAPHED
PICTURE FOR YOU.
THAT'S OK.
I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
I'LL SEE YA.
TOMORROW'S
OUR LAST DAY HERE.
THINK YOU COULD
COME TO THE SET?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
I'LL LEAVE
A PASS FOR YOU.
OK.
ALEX?
YEAH?
WAS THIS WHAIT WAS LIKE BEFORE
WHEN I WAS
YOUR REAL BROTHER,
IF I REALLY WAS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, DID WE HAVE
REALLY COOL ADVENTURES
LIKE TONIGHT?
SOMETIMES.
DID I REALLY GET JELLY
ON YOUR SKATES?
YEAH.
WHAT KIND
OF JELLY WAS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY
WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
OK.
[INAUDIBLE CHATTER
ON POLICE RADIO]
[SIREN]
DON'T SHOOT.
I SURRENDER.
[CHATTER CONTINUES
ON POLICE RADIO]
Dad: WELL, WE DON'WANT ANY PUBLICITY,
EITHER.
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
OH, WELL, THAT'S
GREAT THEN, HEH.
WE'RE ALL ON
THE SAME PAGE.
[BOTH LAUGH]
UH, LOOK, UM,
IF YOU'RE EVER IN L.A.,
YOU GIVE ME A CALL.
OH.
OH.
OK?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME.
HELLO?
YES.
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
HI, PENELOPE.
I JUST HAD THE BEST NIGHOF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
YOU ARE? OH.
WHEN?
CONGRATULATIONS.
SO DO I HAVE
TO CALL HIM DAD?
AHEM.
I GOTTA GO. BYE.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
BYE, ALEX.
SEE YA, KID.
AHEM.
TV Reporter: THE ONLY PERSON
WHO RECOGNIZED VAN GOGH'S
BRILLIANCE DURING HIS LIFETIME
AND ACTUALLY BUY
ONE OF HIS PAINTINGS
WAS HIS OWN BROTHER.
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
Narrator:
IN THE HARSH WINTER,
PERHAPS ONLY ONE
OF THE SIBLINGS WILL SURVIVE.
[TURNS TV OFF]
HEY, BLING.
DAD, I'M NOT BLING.
I'M JUST ALEX.
ALEX.
YOU WANNA GO FOR BRUNCH
AT THE HILLTOP
WITH JUDGE HARLEY,
YOUR MOM, AND ME?
NOT HUNGRY.
OK.
I WAS GONNA SAVE THIS
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
BUT YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE A LIFRIGHT ABOUT NOW.
I GOT THESE AA CLOSEOUT SALE.
THEY'RE ALL ANCIENTS.
THANKS.
SURE. WELL...
SEE YA.
DON'T MESS WITH ME.
THIS IS IT!
THIS IS IT!
ALEX?
YES!
Mom: HONEY,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
ALEX?
I'M FINE.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.
SON, LET ME IN!
Mom: ALEX!
I THINK YOU GOTTA SAY THIS
EXACTLY RIGHT.
ALEX, NOW! COME ON!
I'M GETTING HIM OUT.
OK.
Mom: ALEX!
IS EVERYTHING OK IN THERE?
OK. I WISH
THAT STEVIE...
Mom: COME ON!
NO.
HONEY, I'M GONNA
CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!
EVERYTHING
WILL BE ALL RIGHT!
OK, DON'T BLOW IT.
DON'T BLOW IT.
I WISH...
I WISH I NEVER MADE
THE FIRST WISH.
YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY
AND EVERYTHING CHANGES
YOU CROSS A LINE,
AND THERE'S NO TURNING BACK
MMM,
YOU'RE CAUGHT BETWEEN
THE LOVE AND...
STEVIE!
IT'S HARD TO LEAVE
A HEART...
STEVIE!
SO OPEN UP TO THAT
YOU WISH
EVERY TIME A STAR FALLS
FROM THE SKY
YOU WISH
AND YOU FEEL
THE WAY YOU FEEL INSIDE
GOOBLE GOBBLE!
LEAVE IT ALL UP TO ME
AS YOU SEE YOURSELF
STEVIE.
LOVIN' AGAIN
YOU WISH
WHERE'S STEVIE?
OUTSIDE, I THINK.
DO WE HAVE A VIPER?
UH, I DON'T THINK SO.
GREAT.
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
I'M SORRY
I CRASHED YOUR BIKE!
YOU CRASHED MY BIKE.
YOU LITTLE--
AAH!
WHAT IS THIS?
AAH!
I DON'T KNOW.
AAH!
ALEX,
IT'S RAINING!
IF YOU THINK
THIS IS GONNA MAKE US CAVE
ON THE GROUNDING THING...
YOU HEAR THAT, STEVIE?
I'M GROUNDED.
LOOK, MOM, DAD,
IT'S STEVIE!
HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK!
UH, ALEX,
I DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE.
ABBY. JAMES.
OH, MY BEST FRIENDS.
HELLO, JAMES.
UH, ALEX,
ARE YOU OK?
I--I AM SO OK,
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
ABBY. ABBS...
DO YOU--DO YOU WANNA
GO SKATING?
JUST--JUSTHE TWO OF US?
REALLY?
I MEAN, YEAH.
YEAH, I DO.
OK. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, FIONA!
I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!
HUH?
Dad: ABBY, JAMES!
YOU WANNA TRY SOME
OF MY FAMOUS PANCAKES?
HEH, SURE.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
I KNOW
I CAN ALWAYS WIN
I CAN DO ANYTHING, I
DO MORE THAN DREAM, I
THINK
YOU MAKE EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
JUST RIGHT
SO LIGHT
LIFE IS GOOD
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND
NOTHING COULD
BRING ME DOWN
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT I HAVE FOUND
NOTHING CAN
HOLD ME DOWN
ALL CLEAR IN SECTOR 3.
MOVIN' INTO GROUND ZERO.
COPY THAT,
RABBIT'S FOOT.
ALL CLEAR HERE.
Boy: YOU GOT 'EM?
YEAH. COME ON.
DOGMAN TO RABBIT'S FOOT.
REPORT ON NEW LOCATION.
OVER.
Dogman: I DON'T KNOW.
OVER.
STEVIE...YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO KEEP
TRACK OF THEM.
LISTEN.
ALL RIGHT.
ON 3, CHECK RIGHT.
1...2...
AAH!
AAAHH...
AAAHHH!
HA HA!
WE GIVE!
WE GIVE!
WE GIVE!
OH...OH...
HA HA!
EWWW!
EWW.
HA HA.
YOU OK?
[RASPY VOICE]
ALL...
YOUR...
[RASPY BREATH]
FAULT.
[CHUCKLES]
ALEX?
ALEX!
ARRHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
ALL RIGHT.
THIS ONE'S YOUR LEFT,
THIS ONE'S YOUR RIGHT.
YOUR LEFT...
YOUR RIGHT. GOT IT?
GOT IT. ALEX,
WILL YOU TEACH ME
HOW TO SKATE?
I WILL, I PROMISE.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE USING
WAY TOO MUCH MOUSSE.
UH...DO YOU WANT SOME?
OOH! OOH!
DO YOU WANT SOME?
HEY, DON'T FORGET.
NEXT WEEKEND...
LARRY'S ROCKIN' COIN WORLD.
AND, UH, ON SUNDAY,
THERE'S
THAT COIN EXPO.
ALL RIGHT. LATER.
SEE YA. BYE.
SEE YA, SLIME BOY.
ALL RIGHT, STEVIE...
PUT THIS ON, GUY.
STRAP THAT ON, OK?
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
HEY.
HI.
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT'S WITH ALL
THE HAIR GEL, GUYS?
SO, THERE'S
A PET ADOPTION
AT THE PARK.
AND WE TALKED
ABOUT GETTING A PET.
YES!
DOG.
RABBIT.
DOG.
RABBIT.
DOG!
RABBIT.
DOG!
DOG, DOG, DOG,
DOG, DOG!
AAAHH!
RABBIT!
DOG!
[EXCITED CHATTER,
INDISTINCT]
YEP. SORRY, STEVIE,
NO RABBITS.
YES, THERE ARE!
MOM!
ALEX,
DON'T TORMENYOUR BROTHER.
[GRRR]
[WHIMPERS]
[WHIMPERS]
HEY, GUYS, I FOUND
AN AWESOME DOG.
NO!
THIS IS
WAY COOLER!
WHAT?
[GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE]
THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
HEY, HEY! LANSING
FOUND SOMEONE HE CAN
BEAT OFF THE LINE!
YEAH.
HA HA HA.
WHAT IS THAT THING...
BESIDES UGLY?
IT'S A TURKEY,
YOU BIG STUPID.
OOH...
OOH...
MY BROTHER'S
A BETTER FOOTBALL PLAYER
THAN YOU'LL EVER BE...
GARY!
OH, HO HO HO!
[GOBBLE]
OH, YEAH?
THEN HOW COME HE SPENDS
MOST OF HIS TIME ON HIS BUTT?
Boy: YEAH. YOU WANTO MESS WITH US?
HA HA HA!
STEVIE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO HOME. OK?
[BOY CHUCKLES]
THAT WAS, LIKE,
SO BRAVE.
YOU GET A REWARD.
[SNAP]
HA HA HA HA!
[BOY CHUCKLES]
HUNGRY?
HA HA HA HA!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
HOO HOO!
HA HA!
PIZZA FACE!
YEAH! HA HA!
HA HA!
[BOYS CONTINUE LAUGHING]
Alex, narrating:
THAT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME
STEVIE MESSED ME UP.
LET ME SHOW YOU.
IT ALL STARTED
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
OH, LOOK AT THAT.
HE'S SMILING AT YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
[GASPS]
UHHH...MMM...
Alex: HERE YOU SEE
ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS
OF MY ENTIRE LIFE...
COME ON.
DO IT. SHOOT.
THE FIRST BASKEI EVER MADE.
OH, STEVIE.
WELL, YOU WOULD'VE
SEEN IIF DAD HADN'MISSED THE SHOT.
I GUESS
THE FIRST STEPS YOU TAKE
IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE...
THAT'S PRETTY COOL, TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT STEVIE
ALWAYS TAKES CENTER STAGE...
AND I CAN'T HELP FEELING...
[CRASH]
HA HA HA HA!
HE'S WRECKIN' MY LIFE!
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
THAT THING
GOES OUTSIDE
TOMORROW, RIGHT?
YEAH.
OOH! ALEX,
WHATEVER YOU'RE USING
IN YOUR HAIR...
SMELLS KINDA CHEESY.
OH. THANKS, MOM.
YEAH.
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE?
WE'RE IN HERE
EATING GUACAMOLE,
AND STEVIE ISN'HERE TO HOG IT.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
[SNORTS]
HOW LONG DO THESE THINGS
TEND TO LIVE, ANYWAY?
I KNEW IT! STEVIE,
WHAT DID I TELL YOU
YOU NEVER, EVER TOUCH?!
YOUR SKATES,
YOUR BIKE, AND
YOUR COIN COLLECTION.
AND IS THERE ANY REASON
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GESEVERE AND EXCRUCIATING
PUNISHMENT RIGHT NOW?
BETTER STOP.
GONNA YELL.
NO, NO...NO YELLING,
STEVIE. JUST SIT DOWN,
OK? SIT DOWN.
[SIGHS] I'M ONLY
GONNA SAY THIS ONCE,
ALL RIGHT?
MY ROOM IS MY ROOM,
AND MY STUFF IS MY STUFF,
AND YOU NEED
TO KEEP YOUR HANDS
TOTALLY OFF OF IUNLESS I SAY. OK?
I HAVE A LIFE,
AND WHEN YOU GROW UP,
YOU CAN GET ONE,
BUT UNTIL THEN,
YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE KID.
ALL RIGHT?
AND YOU DON'T GET TO DO
EVERYTHING I GET TO DO.
YOU GOT IT?
OW! DAD! ALEX
IS HURTING ME!
STEVIE!
ALEX! BACK OFF
YOUR BROTHER. NOW!
DAD...I DIDN'DO ANYTHING.
[SIGHS]
THAT'S IT. YOU ARE BARRED
FROM THIS ROOM FOR 2 WEEKS.
BANNED.
GO!
GET OUT.
GET OUTTA HERE!
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
[GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE]
AAAHHH!
[SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS]
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
[GIRL IN MOVIE
CONTINUES SCREAMING]
[WHISPERING] Out.
2 weeks.
[SIGHS]
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
AAAHHH!
[SCARY MUSIC]
YAAAHHH!
AAAHH!
HA HA!
AAH!
HA HA HA HA HA!
AAAHH! DON'T!
HA HA HA!
[WHISTLING CHEERFULLY]
OH, HEY, ALEX,
I MIGHT BE
A FEW MINUTES LATE
FOR YOUR GAME TODAY.
GREAT. YOU'LL MISS
MY BEST BENCH WARMING.
FIRST QUARTER,
I'M IN THE ZONE.
GO, RAIDER!
HE YELLS MY NAME TODAY,
HE'S DEAD MEAT.
HEY...YOU
GOT A BROTHER
ON YOUR SIDE.
IS THAT SO BAD?
IT IS WHEN HE YELLS,
"GO, ALEX, GO."
WISH WE COULD SEND HIM
TO FOOTBALL CAMP.
YEAH, IF THEY'D
MAKE IT AFFORDABLE.
MMM-UHH.
SO, YOU GONNA YELL
MY NAME TODAY?
[UNEASILY] NO...
HEALTHY ANSWER. HERE.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
USE THE LACES LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU THROW. OK?
ALL RIGHT,
THROW IT BACK.
GO AHEAD.
[CHUCKLING]
THROW IT BACK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHY ARE YOU STANDIN'
BEHIND THE HAMPER?
MY SKATES!
I DIDN'T TOUCH 'EM!
YOU'RE WEARIN' 'EM!
NO!
OHH! MOM,
HE'S HURTING ME!
MOM! MOM!
YOU GOT JELLY
ON MY SKATES!
MOM!
MOM!
ALEX, LAY OFF
YOUR BROTHER!
MOM, HE GOT JELLY
ON MY SKATES.
OHHH...
OH, AND LISTEN.
NEXT WEEKEND,
YOU HAVE TO BABY-SIT.
NO! MOM, I'M GOIN'
TO THE MALL WITH JAMES!
WELL, THEN TAKE
STEVIE WITH YOU.
NO ARGUMENTS.
[SIGHS]
SO, YOU'VE MEOUR NEW DOG--
GOOBLE GOBBLE.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
NOT MUCH
ON CONVERSATION.
YEAH.
CHECK THIS OUT.
[GOBBLE GOBBLE]
YOU GOT JELLY
ON YOUR BLADES.
NO. NO.
THE DEMON CHILD
FROM THE UNDERWORLD
GOT JELLY ON MY BLADES.
STEVIE'S 10 YEARS OLD,
AND HE RULES THE HOUSE.
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
[CHUCKLES]
NOT TOO GOOD.
NOT TOO GOOD?
JAMES, IT'S HORRIBLE.
OK?
ALL HE HAS TO DO
IS MAKE A SAD FACE,
AND BAM-O,
IT'S AN INSTANT CRISIS.
"ALEX, SHARE THAWITH STEVIE."
"ALEX, DON'T DO THA'CAUSE STEVIE'LL WANTO TRY IT, TOO."
YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE
TO BE AN ONLY CHILD?
ALEX, WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME
WHEN YOU RAN OUT OF CLASS
'CAUSE YOU HEARD SOME KID
FELL IN THE FOUNTAIN AND
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS STEVIE?
SO?
SO...YOU BASICALLY
CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT.
JAMES...I'M TRYIN'
TO TRASH MY BROTHER HERE.
OK?
RIGHT. SORRY.
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
ISN'T ANYBODY
GONNA FIX THIS GATE?!
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
[CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
HIKE!
[BAND PLAYING,
PEOPLE CHEERING]
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Man: TOUCHDOWN!
[CHEERING]
GO, RAIDERS, GO!
[CROWD CHEERS]
YOU'RE ALEX. RIGHT?
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT...IS SO SAD.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
BENCH WARMER.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
HA HA HA HA!
GO, ALEX, GO!
Coach: LANSING!
FULL BLOCK
TO MY RIGHT.
OPEN YOUR EYES,
TURKEY BOY.
THE BALL'S
COMIN' TO YOU.
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
GO, ALEX, GO!
[CROWD REACTION]
AH, HA HA HA HA!
[CROWD LAUGHS]
HI. SORRY.
[DRUM BEATING]
GO, ALEX...
GO, ALEX, GO!
COME ON, GO, GO, GO!
ALL RIGHT, TEAM!
[GROWLS]
COME ON, ALEX! GO!
YEAH!
YEAH!
READY...
[GROWLS]
HUT!
AAH! OOH!
AAAHH!
Crowd: OHH!
OFFSIDES!
[CROWD CHEERS AND BOOS]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
SO YOU HAD
A BAD GAME.
STOP MOPING.
I'VE GOT THIS GREAT IDEA
FOR THIS PARTNER PROJECT:
INVENTORS. YOU DO EDISON,
AND I'LL DO TESLA.
YOU KNOW THE PARABOUT TESLA BEING
THE REINCARNATION
OF THAT GUY FROM ATLANTIS
WHO INVENTED THOSE POWER BEAMS?
HERE, FIONA.
[SIGHS]
ABOUT...LAST WEEKEND.
I HOPE I DIDN'T HURT YOU.
OH, RIGHT,
LIKE YOU COULD.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
YOU REALLY LIKE SOMEBODY,
AND THEY DON'T EVEN
KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE.
I CAN RELATE.
[SIGHS]
BUT...YOU GOTTA
PICK UP THE PIECES
OF YOUR
SHATTERED LIFE
AND MOVE ON.
OOH. LUNCH
WOULD BE A START,
DON'T YOU THINK?
HEY, MAN,
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
THE NO-WHINING SECTION.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
ALEX, WILL YOU
GET OVER YOURSELF?
YOUR LIFE
IS NOT PATHETIC. OK?
THAT IS PATHETIC.
YUUUHHH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
YUUUHHH!
GARY'S LIFE
IS PERFECT. OK?
HE'S ALL-CITY
IN EVERY SPORT,
HIS GIRLFRIEND FIONA'S
A MAJOR GODDESS,
AND HE DOESN'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
GET HER SOME MAROON, MAN.
NO, JAMES.
THAT'S NOT FAIR
TO THE OTHER MAROONS.
OK. ENOUGH MISERY.
DO YA...WANTO GO SKATING
ON SATURDAY?
I NAILED THAT RAIL
ON THE PARK BENCH
IN THE SQUARE.
I...CAN'T WAITO SHOW YOU.
SORRY, I'M...GOIN'
TO COIN WORLD.
WELL, HOW ABOUAFTER THAT?
UH...
I HAVE TO CLEAN OUTHE TURKEY PEN.
RIGHT. OK. LET'S SEE...
GRINDING IN THE PARK
OR SCRAPING UP
TURKEY POOP.
INTERESTING CHOICE.
YOU KNOW...
I GIVE UP.
BYE, JAMES.
SEE YA.
WHAT'S UP? YOU LOVE
SKATING WITH ABBY.
I KNOW, BUT NOW
SHE WANTS ME TO...
GO SKATING WITH HER.
[CHUCKLING]
SO...WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
NO PROBLEM. I JUST...
WANT TO BE COOL...
LIKE GARY.
YUUUHHH...
HA HA!
HA HA!
5 BUCKS WORTH
OF QUARTERS?
YEP. IF I HAVE TO
BRING STEVIE TO THE MALL,
AT LEAST I KNOW
HOW TO NEUTRALIZE HIM.
HEY!
OOP!
OHHH...
YOU OK?
YEAH! THANKS.
SLIPPED ON SOMETHIN'.
AHA!
FRENCH FRIES.
PROBABLY DROPPED BY ONE
OF THESE LITTLE MONSTERS.
HOW CAN YOU KIDS
EAT THESE THINGS?
IF THEY DON'T CLOG UP
YOUR ARTERIES, THEY FIND
ANOTHER WAY TO TAKE YOU OUT.
YOU OK, KID?
I COULD'VE SQUASHED YOU.
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
GOOD.
WELL, UH...
WHAT'S THE STANDARD REWARD
FOR A GOOD DEED THESE DAYS?
YOU GET TO BE ON TV?
[CHUCKLES] RIGHT.
HEY, LARRY.
HEY, GUYS.
I SEE YOU'VE MEMY BROTHER STEVIE.
YEAH,
WE JUST MET.
HE SAVED ME FROM A TRIP
TO THE HOSPITAL.
YOU'RE LUCKY, ALEX.
THIS IS ONE TERRIFIC
LITTLE KID.
SO, HELP ME
WITH THIS STUFF,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU GUYS
MY NEW SHIPMENOF ROMANS.
ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
OK...
OK, YOU SEE
THIS BENCH?
THIS IS THE BENCH
WHERE YOU'RE GONNA SIAND EAT YOUR FRIES.
OK? DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT MOVIN'.
I'M GONNA GO IN THERE.
I'LL BE OUIN A COUPLE OF MINUTES,
AND WE'LL GO TO THE ARCADE.
ALL RIGHT? TAKE THIS.
PUT THOSE
IN YOUR POCKET.
WANT A FRENCH FRY?
PROBABLY NOT.
RIGHT.
SO, KID...I CAN'GET YOU ON TV,
BUT, UM...
HOW 'BOUT THIS?
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S
A TRICKY LITTLE COIN...
AND IT'S GOOD
FOR ONE WISH.
IS IT?
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.
ANYWAY...
BE VERY CAREFUL WITH IT.
DO SOMETHING...
WELL, I DON'T KNOW...
DO SOMETHING BIG
WITH IT.
[DISSONANT NOTES]
HEY! HEY!
PUT THAT DOWN.
GET OUTTA HERE.
GIT! GIT! GIT!
[SIGHS] ALL RIGHT,
I'M GETTIN' TOO OLD
FOR THIS.
[BURPS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
THAT ONE'S A MINT.
SURE?
OH, YEAH.
[CONVERSATION CONTINUES,
INDISTINCT]
Larry, echoing:
DO SOMETHING BIG WITH IT.
HEY,
CHECK OUT ZEUS.
[CHUCKLES]
LOOKS LIKE
PRINCIPAL THORPE
IN A DRESS.
WRAP IT UP, GUYS.
I GOTTA CLOSE.
ALL RIGHT.
WAIT. CLOSE. WHAT--
WHAT TIME IS IT,
LARRY?
JUST ABOUT 6:00,
AND I'VE GOTTA GEOFF MY FEET.
6:00?
STEVIE.
JAMES, I GOTTA GO.
COME ON, STEVIE.
STEVIE?!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE.
STEVIE!
EXCUSE ME.
CAN YOU CALL MY MOM?
STEVIE!
[ECHOING] STEVIE!
YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOR A MONTH.
WHAT?!
NO MORE COIN WORLD.
YOU COME RIGHT HOME
AFTER SCHOOL.
AND WE'RE TAKIN' AWAY
YOUR SKATES.
YOU'RE GETTING OFF
LIGHT, MY FRIEND.
THIS WAS A MAJOR SETBACK
IN THE RESPONSIBILITY
DEPARTMENT.
WELL, STEVIE DIDN'HAVE TO RAT ME OUT.
[SIGHS]
I MEA--LOOK, I TOLD HIM
TO WAIT ON THE BENCH,
OK?
OH, SO THIS IS
ALL STEVIE'S FAULT.
HE'S 10 YEARS OLD,
ALEX.
HE WAS ALONE
AND SCARED.
I WASN'T SCARED.
[SIGHS]
HE KNOWS HE SHOULDN'HAVE RUN OFF,
AND HE'S BEING
PUNISHED, TOO.
OH, NO TV FOR A DAY?
YEAH, BIG DEAL, DAD.
WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
BEDTIME, STEVIE.
ALEX, TOO.
WHAT?
IT'S 8:30.
8:25
BY MY WATCH.
AND TOMORROW MORNING,
YOU START GARAGE CLEANUP.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUIN
MY ENTIRE LIFE?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
"DEAR, ALEX..."
[SIGHS]
"SORRY. HERE'S A COIN
THE GUY IN THE MALL GAVE ME.
"YOU CAN MAKE ONE WISH.
STEVIE."
[CRUMPLES PAPER]
ONE WISH.
RIGHT.
RIGHT NOW, I WISH
I DIDN'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
[RADIO ALARM GOES OFF]
Radio announcer:
...SO GET YOURSELF OUT OF BED.
OHHH...GREAT.
NOW I HAVE AN ALARM CLOCK.
PART OF MY PUNISHMENT.
OH, THAT TURKEY STINKS.
[STRANGE BREATHING]
[SLURPING SOUND]
[STRANGE BREATHING]
[MUFFLED BARK]
[GULPS LOUDLY]
AAAHHH!
[PASSES GAS]
"ALEX LANSING,
PLAYER OF THE YEAR."
DOUBLE EAGLES.
OK.
OK, I GET IT.
[TV PLAYS,
INDISTINCT]
WALL STREET JOURNAL.
OK. OK, I KNOW
WHAT'S GOIN' ON.
I GUESS A REALLY
FUNNY GOOD ONE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN
YOU PUT THE CEREAL
IN MY SLEEPING BAG?
BUT THIS IS BETTER.
STEVIE'S IDEA,
RIGHT?
WHO'S STEVIE?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
ALL RIGHT, LET'S STARWITH THE GIANT DOG
I HAVE IN MY ROOM.
IGGY? HOW'S HE DOIN'
THIS MORNIN'?
THE HOUSE IS BLUE?
MM-HMM,
SINCE LAST MONTH.
YOU JUST NOTICED?
GOTTA RUN.
SEE YOU AT THE GAME.
DON'T RUSH THAT PASS.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
REMEMBER,
YOU'VE GOT OPTIONS.
SOME OF THOSE
OTHER GUYS
CAN SCORE, TOO,
YOU KNOW.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, YOU GUYS.
HOLD ON A SECOND, MOM.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
WE'RE GOING TO WORK,
YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL.
NO, NO, NO.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT...IS GOING ON?
I WAS JUST GONNA
ASK YOU THAT.
EVERYTHING'S
DIFFERENT.
WE HAVE A DOG.
I HAVE THIS
INCREDIBLY COOL
COIN COLLECTION.
MY ROOM'S DIFFERENT.
THE HOUSE--
I'M DIFFERENT.
WHAT IS WITH
THIS HAIRCUT?
YEAH, I DON'LIKE IT, EITHER.
IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
SO, IS STEVIE
DIFFERENT?
WHO'S THIS STEVIE?
DAD...PLEASE DON'DO THIS RIGHT NOW, OK?
DO WHAT?
ALEX? YOU OK?
WELL, HE DOESN'HAVE A FEVER.
NO. NO. BUT, GUYS,
I DO HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER.
OK, WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S STEVIE?
ALEX...ARE YOU...
LONELY?
WHAT?
DO YOU...wish...
you had a brother?
MOM...W-WHADO YOU MEAN,
DO I WISH I--
OH, MAN.
OH, MAN, THAT COIN.
HONEY!
EARTH TO ALEX.
OH, MAN.
COMING UP VERY SOON,
IN JUST A MINUTE,
IN FACT,
WE ARE GONNA MEETHE STAR OF A NEW
HIT TV SHOW.
IT'S CALLED WHERE'S STEVIE?
HIS NAME IS
TERRENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK.
WHERE'S THAT COIN?
I PUT IT RIGHT HERE.
IT SHOULD BE RIGHT HERE.
NO WAY.
NO WAY...BECAUSE...
I MADE A WISH.
AND IT WORKED.
THERE'S NO STEVIE.
Woman on tv:
HERE HE IS.
ALEX!
WELCOME.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Stevie: HOW ARE YOU?
[APPLAUSE ON TV]
WE'RE TALKING WITH
TERRENCE RUSSELL McCORMICK,
THE STAR OF THE...
STEVIE?
...WHERE'S STEVIE?
SO. WHAT'S
THE MOST FUN ABOUWORKING ON WHERE'S STEVIE?
UM, PROBABLY HANGIN' OUWITH PETER MICHAEL MOORE.
HE'S REALLY THE BROTHER
THAT I NEVER HAD.
ALEX, WHY ARE YOU HANGING
ONTO THE TELEVISION?
IT'S STEVIE.
YEAH,
TERRENCE RUSSELL
McCORMACK.
HE'S SO CUTE.
YEAH.
NO. IT'S--
IT'S NOTERRENCE SOMEBODY.
IT'S STEVIE.
OK, LOOK. UM, HONEY,
YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE TO GO.
ARE YOU OK?
STEVIE! HE'S ON...
THE TELEVISION.
EVERY WEEK.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU LIKED THAT SHOW.
WHAT...SHOW?
WHERE'S STEVIE?
HE'S ON...THE TELEVISION!
ALEX,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S STEVIE!
RIGHT, FROM
THE TV SHOW.
WHAT...TV SHOW?!
WHERE'S STEVIE?
HE'S ON...
THE TELEVISION!
HONEY, UH,
WHAT'S THE JOKE?
I'M A LITTLE DENSE
THIS MORNING.
ME, TOO.
YOU GUYS REALLY
DON'T KNOW HIM?
WELL, PERSONALLY,
I WISH I WAS
HIS ACCOUNTANT.
YEAH. THAT'S
A LUCKY LITTLE KID.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S A LUCKY KID.
THAT'S A WAY LUCKY KID.
KID'S LIFE IS AWESOME.
GOTTA RUN.
SEE YOU AT THE GAME,
BLING.
BLING?
OH...
I PUT GAS
IN THE VIPER.
OH.
Dad: THANKS.
HEY, BLING...
IF YOU HURRY,
I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.
I'LL BE OUTSIDE
IN THE CAR.
HEY, CHAMP.
I MADE YOU A STAR.
YOU'RE, LIKE...
RICH AND FAMOUS,
AND...
AND I'M...
I'M AN ONLY CHILD.
[CHUCKLES]
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
I DON'T HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER
RUINING MY LIFE.
THIS IS...
WE HAVE A VIPER?
HEY, WHAT'S UP,
BLING?
GO, BLINGER.
HEY, IT'S BLING.
YOU THE MAN!
HEY.
HI, ALEX.
[BELL RINGS]
HI, ALEX.
HEY.
400 YARDS TODAY.
OK, BLING?
ALL RIGHT.
ALEX.
HELLO!
DIDN'T YOU
EVEN SEE ME?
YOU WERE GONNA MEET ME
BY THE FOUNTAIN.
UH...
DUDE!
GARY, I DIDN'T TALK
TO HER, OK?
I WAS JUST STANDING HERE.
I WAS JUST--
SO?
ARE WE, LIKE...
BREAKING UP?
BECAUSE THAT WOULD
BE SO NOT ME, BEING
DUMPED BY MY BOYFRIEND.
BOYFRIEND...
ME.
HA!
I GOT YA!
HA HA HA!
THAT'S IT.
YOU SCARED ME.
WE GONNA KICK
SOME WILDCAT BUTTODAY, BLING?
YEAH!
WE'RE GONNA
MAKE 'EM SORRY
THEY GOT ON THE BUS.
ALL RIGHT!
"BLING"?
LIKE IN BLING-BLING?
DUDE,
THE PARTY STILL ON,
YOUR PLACE?
PARTY.
HELLO?!
AFTER THE GAME!
AT MY PLACE. UM...
YEAH. YEAH.
I MEAN, YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
OHHH!
LANSING. EAT GOOD
BEFORE THE GAME, EH?
LOTS OF CARBS.
OK.
[BELL RINGS]
WE'RE READY
TO PLAY, COACH.
Boys: DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
UM...I'LL MEET UP
WITH YOU LATER. OK?
OK. OK.
FIONA'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
YES. AND THE JOCKS
LIKE YOU.
[SIGHS]
HOW COULD THE DISAPPEARANCE
OF ONE LITTLE KID
CHANGE EVERYTHING
IN YOUR LIFE?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
HEY. DRAMA CLUB...
I'M TRYIN' OUT.
[BELL RINGS]
HEY, ABBS.
WHAT...
ARE YOU DOING?
UM...
SITTING DOWN.
[CHUCKLES]
HERE?
THAT IS NOYOUR SEAT. HELLO!
I KNOW.
I WAS JUST, UM...
SAYING HI TO ABBY.
WHY?
WHY?
MR. LANSING,
WOULD YOU KINDLY TAKE
YOUR ASSIGNED SEASO WE CAN BEGIN?
YEAH.
RIGHT.
NOT THAT SEAT,
EITHER.
I KNEW THAT.
[SNAP]
[CHUCKLES]
Boy: BRAVO.
Girl: YEAH, BRAVO!
OK. LAST WEEK'S ESSAYS.
B+. THAT'S SWEET.
[CHUCKLES]
KING BLING JOCK THING
GETS A B+.
WHAT?
OH, NEVER MIND.
YOU KNOW,
PART OF GOIN' TO SCHOOL
IS FIGURIN' OUTHAT LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
GREAT GAME LAST FRIDAY,
BY THE WAY.
[CHUCKLES] THANKS.
Teacher: OK, CLASS.
LET'S REVIEW WHAYOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
ABOUT THE
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE.
YAY, RAIDER MEN!
HOW DO WE WANT IT?
HOW DO WE WANT IT?
GO, TEAM, GO!
[CHEERING]
OK. AS USUAL,
WE RUN THE OFFENSE
THROUGH ALEX.
WHAT?
[LOUD GULP]
WHAT A...
WHAT A...GOOD IDEA.
[CHUCKLES]
I'M SO GLAD
YOU THINK SO.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
OK, COME ON!
LET'S DO IT!
COME ON,
HUDDLE UP THERE!
COME ON!
HERE WE GO, GUYS.
OK!
1, 2, 3! RAIDERS!
COME ON, GUYS!
CLEAR IT OUT!
LET'S TAKE ITO 'EM!
GARY. HEY, UM...
YOU KNOW
WHAT POSITION
YOU PLAY, RIGHT?
YEAH?
OK. SO...
YOU KNOW WHAT POSITION
I PLAY, RIGHT?
YEAH.
GARY...WHAT POSITION
DO I PLAY?
QUARTERBACK.
QUARTERBACK.
[CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY]
OH, THIS'LL BE GOOD.
[SIGHS]
[CROWD CHEERS]
COME ON!
OK, GUYS.
QUICKER FLY,
ON 2, YEAH?
Teammates: YEAH!
ALL RIGHT.
1, 2, 3.
All: BREAK!
GARY, THE BALL'S
COMING TO YOU, OK?
ALL RIGHT.
RIGHT.
BLUE, 62...
DOWN.
SET.
HUT. HUT.
UHH!
[CROWD GROANS]
DAVE, SOMETHING ODD
IS GOING ON WITH ALEX.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ROLL
WITH THE POCKET.
HEY, BUD.
DON'T LET THAT BIG GUY
PSYCH YOU OUT.
WHAT?
DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT BIG KID IN CAMP?
CAMP?
FOOTBALL CAMP,
5 YEARS AGO.
HE HAD YOUR NUMBER,
BUT YOU LEARNED HOW
TO HANDLE HIM. REMEMBER?
[CHUCKLES]
I WENT TO CAMP.
AND EVERY YEAR SINCE,
YOU FIGURED OUT EVEN
MORE WAYS TO BEAT 'EM.
RIGHT, 'CAUSE
WE CAN AFFORD THAT.
HUH?
BECAUSE
I'M AN ONLY CHILD?
YEAH.
YOU'RE THE MAN.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
OUR ONE AND ONLY.
HEY, LANSING!
YOU BACK FROM WHATEVER
OTHER UNIVERSE YOU WERE IN?
COME ON!
All: BREAK!
SET.
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON--
HUT.
[CROWD CHEERS]
SET.
HA HA!
HUT!
YEAH! WHOO!
WHOO!
Crowd: GO, BLING, GO!
HEY, GOOD PARTY.
THANKS.
BLING, YOU ROCK!
AH...
MY MOM'S
FAVORITE MAGAZINE.
DAD, DAD, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
SORRY. I LEFMY EARPLUGS IN THE CAR.
WHAT?
ALEX!
SO, WHAT WAS THE MATTER
WITH YOU AT THE STAROF THE GAME ANYWAY?
YOU LOOKED
TOTALLY CLUELESS.
I KNOW. IT'S 'CAUSE
I'M ACTUALLY FROM
AN ALTERNATE REALITY.
BEFORE THE GAME TODAY,
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAPOSITION I PLAYED.
WELL, THAT'S
WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE.
DON'T LET IHAPPEN AGAIN, OK?
YEAH, YEAH,
NO PROBLEM. I, UH--
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
ROLLER BLADING TOMORROW?
ROLLER BLADING? HELLO?
FIRST OFF, FREAKS
ROLLER BLADE, OK?
AND SECOND OFF, WE'RE
TAKING THE PHOTOS FOR
OUR MATCHING T-SHIRTS.
MATCHING T-SHIRTS?
OH, BLING, YOU WON'BELIEVE IT, MAN.
THE CHICKEN GEEK
IS HERE. COME ON!
EXCUSE ME.
HEY, ABBS.
Party guests:
CHICKEN BOY! CHICKEN BOY!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOUR HONORS, BLING.
CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY! CHICKEN BOY!
CHICKEN BOY!
JAMES.
CHICKEN BOY!
OH, FORGET IT.
I'LL DO IT.
[GUESTS LAUGHING
AND CHEERING]
Alex:
HEY, JAMES! WAIT!
JAMES!
JAMES!
HE'S RICH,
HE'S FAMOUS,
AND HE'S ALL
OVER THE PLACE.
JAMES.
HEY, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
WHAT? YOU'RE NODONE WITH ME YET?
NO, I...
I CAME BY TO APOLOGIZE.
DON'T EVEN BOTHER,
SUPERJOCK.
HEY, HEY!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
I GOT TO SHOW YOU
THIS COLLECTION YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO BELIEVE, MAN.
A WHOLE ALBUM
OF PRE-1700's.
PRE WHAT?
COINS.
AND YOU WANTO SHOW ME THIS BECAUSE?
I--
ALEX!
SARA SAID YOU WERE
TALKING TO ABBY RICHARDSON.
AT THE PARTY?
UH, I SAID HI?
AND NOW I FIND YOU
TALKING TO...
JAMES COOPER.
THANK YOU.
WHAT IS GOING ON, ALEX?
WHAT?
HOW DO YOU THINK
THIS MAKES ME LOOK?
HOW?
GIVE ME AN "L,"
GIVE ME ON "O,"
GIVE ME AN S-S-E-R-S.
WHAT'S IT SPELL?
LOSERS?
THANK YOU.
NOT JUST LOSERS,
MASSIVE, EL GRANDE,
MEGA-LOSERS.
NO OFFENSE.
YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND.
I HAVE AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.
ARE YOU, LIKE,
GOING WEIRD OR ANYTHING?
BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO NOT ME
HAVING A WEIRD BOYFRIEND.
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME
RIGHT NOW.
HEY, ABBS.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
YOU? YOU WANTO SIT WITH US?
YEAH.
STOP. HALT.
IS THIS SOME KIND
OF JOCK JOKE?
WHAT?
NO.
NO, ABBS, JUSLET ME EXPLAIN--
FIRST OF ALL,
IF YOU CALL ME "ABBS"
ONE MORE TIME,
YOU WILL REGRET IT.
AND SECOND,
GO AWAY.
LOOK,I--I KNOW
I'M DIFFERENT, BUT...
ABBS, IF YOU JUSGIVE ME A CHANCE--
GOT MILK?
[ALL LAUGHING]
[DOG'S STOMACH GRUMBLES,
PASSES GAS]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN.
YO, BLING.
WHAT UP?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
COME ON. I'M HIP.
RIGHT?
I CAN TALK THE LINE.
RIGHT.
YOU, UH,
REDISCOVERING
THE OLD COLLECTION, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU HAVEN'TOUCHED THOSE COINS
SINCE FOREVER.
REALLY? I FORGOHOW AWESOME IT IS.
NOT THAT MANY ANCIENTS.
NO DIDRACHMS OR HEMIDRACHMS
OR ANYTHING,
BUT IT'S STILL AWESOME.
AWESOME INVESTMENT, TOO.
SO YOU LIKE THOSE
OLD GUYS, HUH?
YEAH, YEAH.
ALEX,
YOU'VE SEEMED
KIND OF...
DISTRACTED LATELY.
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG?
NO, NO.
I'M KIND OF TIRED THOUGH.
I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP.
OK.
WELL, SEE YOU
IN THE MORNING.
OK.
[WORLD OF OUR OWN PLAYING]
YOU MAKE ME FEEL FUNNY
WHEN YOU COME AROUND
AND THAT'S WHAI'VE FOUND OUT, HONEY
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
YOU MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY
WHEN I LEAVE YOU BEHIND
IT PLAYS ON MY MIND
NOW, HONEY
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
OH!
TOOK FOR GRANTED
EVERYTHING WE HAD
AS IF I'D FIND SOMEONE
WHO'S JUST LIKE YOU
WE GOT A LITTLE
WORLD OF OUR OWN
I'LL TELL YOU THINGS
THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS
I'LL LET YOU IN
WHERE NO ONE ELSE GOES
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
AND ALL OF THE THINGS
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE
OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR
AND ALL OF THE TIME
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING NEW
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
WELL, IT'S FEELING
RIGHT NOW
SO LET'S
DO IT RIGHT NOW
PRAYING THAT SOMEHOW...
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
AND SOMEONE ELSES
BY ADOPTING
A BROTHER FOR LIFE.
YOU'RE MY BIG BROTHER,
AND I GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.
MAKE A YOUNG BOY'S
WISH COME TRUE.
HIS LIFE WILL
NEVER BE THE SAME.
[SIGHS]
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT,
TERENCE RUSSELL McSTEVIE.
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
WE GOT A LITTLE
WORLD OF OUR OWN
I'LL TELL YOU THINGS
THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS
I'LL LET YOU IN WHERE
NO ONE ELSE GOES
WHAT AM I DOING
WITHOUT YOU?
AND ALL OF THE THINGS
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE
OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR...
THANK YOU.
HEY, ABBS.
ABBY.
EXCUSE ME.
I'M BUSY HERE, OK?
THANK YOU, SIR.
HOPE YOU WIN.
I COULD USE
A LITTLE LUCK.
LARRY! HEY!
YEAH. DO I KNOW YOU?
YEAH. YEAH, IT'S ME.
ALEX LANSING.
I GO TO COIN WORLD
A LOT.
UH, WELL, I GUESS
I DON'T ANYMORE.
ANYWAYS,
WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, THIS?
I BIT THE DUSOUTSIDE MY SHOP
AND BROKE
A COUPLE THINGS.
RIGHT. NO STEVIE.
WHO?
NOTHING. I'M SORRY.
YEAH. WELL, I WANTED
TO RETIRE AND GET OFF MY FEET.
I GUESS I GOT THAT WISH.
ANYWAY, MY MAN,
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY
AND WATCH OUFOR FRENCH FRIES.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
DO YOU WANT TO BUY
A RAFFLE TICKET?
YOU CAN HELP BUY
FOOD FOR THE HOMELESS.
YOU COULD WIN A FREEZER!
I'LL TAKE 3.
FILL OUT THE STUB.
SO, ABBS--
ABBY. I'M SORRY.
I'M--ABBY.
UM...
SO YOU SKATE?
YEAH.
SO, DO YOU MAYBE WANTO GO SKATING SOMETIME?
I KNOW A GREAT PLACE
IN THE PARK.
[CHUCKLES]
DID YOU LOSE
A BET OR SOMETHING?
[LAUGHS]
WHAT--WHAT KIND OF GUY
DO YOU THINK I AM?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
YEAH.
I THINK YOU'RE THE KIND OF
MAJOR POP-STAR JOCK
WHO HAS TO HAVE THE MAJOR
POP-STAR-CHEERLEADER-GIRLFRIEND,
EVEN THOUGH
SHE'S MEANER THAN A SNAKE.
AND YOU THINK THATHE WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM
REVOLVES AROUND YOU.
AND?
AND YOU'RE NOEVEN EMBARRASSED
THAT TEACHERS
GIVE YOU BETTER GRADES
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN
THROW A LONG BOMB,
EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT.
DOES THAANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH
COVERS IT, I GUESS.
SO WHY ARE YOU EVEN
TALKING TO ME?
I DON'T KNOW.
YO, BLING!
HEADS UP!
TOUCHDOWN! LANSING
CATCHES THE DEAD COW.
EAST FREMONIS SO TOAST.
Chanting: DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE
DUDE DUDE DUDE.
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!
COME ON! YEAH!
[DOG SNORING]
[FLY BUZZING]
[SNORING]
FUNNY PANCAKES.
HEY, BLING.
BIG DAY TODAY.
Alex: WHAT?
ALEX, YOU HAVEN'EATEN ANYTHING THIS MORNING.
NO, IT'S SATURDAY.
IT'S SATURDAY.
DAD, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO MAKE FUNNY PANCAKES?
WOW! I FORGOALL ABOUT THOSE.
GEE, ALEX,
I HAVEN'T MADE
FUNNY PANCAKES SINCE
YOU WERE ABOUT 5.
THERE'S, UH,
POP-UP WAFFLES IN THE FREEZER.
YOU LOVE THOSE.
POP-UP WAFFLES?
YOU GUYS ARE
GOING OUT THIS EARLY?
YOUR MOM'S DRAGGING ME
INTO THAT DENSE FORESSHE WORKS WITH.
YOU KNOW, THE PARTNER'S
BIG TENTH ANNIVERSARY
THING FOR THE FIRM.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S THE SAME DAY AS YOUR DEAL.
WHAT?
BUT IT'S A GREAT EXCUSE
TO SNEAK AWAY EARLY.
WE'LL MEET YOU
AT SCHOOL AT 8:00.
FOR WHAT?
THE ATHLETIC AWARD.
THE HARBOR HIGH
CIVIC PRIDE AWARDS.
THE MALE ATHLETIC AWARD?
ALEX LANSING?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NO! OH, NO!
HE FORGOT!
THAT'S MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY, ALEX.
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S JUST BEEN
SO NUTS AT WORK.
UH, YOUR SUIT IS READY,
AND GARY'S FOLKS ARE
PICKING YOU UP AT 7:30.
OH, AND HONEY,
THERE'S A BOX OF
OLD TOYS AND STUFF
FOR THE CHARITY DRIVE
IN THE ATTIC.
IT SAYS, "GIVE AWAY."
BRING IT DOWN FOR ME,
WILL YA?
LATER, SUPERSTAR.
OK.
WHATEVER KIND
OF GUY I AM NOW,
I DO NOT LOVE
POP-UP WAFFLES.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Woman on TV: AAH!
WHAT?
STEVIE LOVED
THESE HAND-ME-DOWNS.
AAH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, MELODY.
LAST AND CERTAINLY
NOT LEAST,
OUR FINAL RECIPIENHAS DEMONS--
HAS DEMONSTRATED
HIS COMMITMENTO EXCELLENCE IN ATHLETICS.
AND HE'S DONE IWITH THE HIGHESDEGREE OF SPORTSMANSHIP.
I'M SPEAKING
OF COURSE OF--
GO, DUDE!
All: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!
RIGHT. GO DUDE.
THANK YOU.
ALEX LANSING.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
COOL!
STEVIE.
I, UM...
I DON'T REALLY
DESERVE THIS,
BECAUSE, WELL...
I'M NOT REALLY
THE ALEX LANSING
THAT YOU SEE UP HERE.
THE REAL ALEX LANSING
LIVES IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT...
DIMENSION OR SOMETHING.
HE'S A MAJOR LOSER.
HE CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
HE'S GOT A LITTLE
BROTHER NAMED STEVIE
WHO HE BLAMED FOR
THINGS THAT WEREN'REALLY HIS FAULT AT ALL
AND MADE HIM DISAPPEAR.
POOF.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
[GULP]
WOULDN'T IT BE WEIRD
IF THINGS LIKE THACOULD REALLY HAPPEN?
OF COURSE,
THEY CAN'T.
[GROUP LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
BUT WHAT IF THEY DID?
I MEAN, WINNING AWARDS
IS GREAT AND ALL,
BUT THERE'S...
OTHER STUFF.
SO...
TRY TO APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU GOT,
'CAUSE SOMEDAY
IT MIGHT NOT BE THERE,
AND YOU'RE
REALLY, REALLY...
GOING TO MISS HIM.
IT. IT.
THAT'S ALL.
THANKS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OK, IT WAS NOYOUR TYPICAL
THANK-YOU SPEECH,
BUT I THINK
IT WAS VERY...
ORIGINAL.
THE PARKERS THOUGHIT WAS WONDERFUL.
YAY FOR ME.
I KNOW WHAT'LL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
A POP-UP WAFFLE.
NO, NO, MOM, I DON'T WANA POP-UP WAFFLE, OK?
I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY.
[SIGHS]
[FLY BUZZING]
HE'S HERE...
DOING A TV SHOW.
ALEX,
WE NEED TO TALK.
THIS STEVIE DEAL--
THERE'S NO STEVIE.
NO. TERENCE RUSSELL
McCORMACK, ACTOR.
SEE?
OH!
OH!
AAH!
UHH! SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
JAMES.
OH, MAN.
SUPERJOCK STRIKES AGAIN!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE ANYWAY?
I, UM...
I...
I JUST CAME BY TO SEE
TERENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK.
MY MOM'S
A BIG FAN, AND I...
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL
IF I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
TAKING HIM SOME CHICKEN.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
WHO?
TERENCE RUSSELL McTHING,
OR WHATEVER--THE KID.
I'LL TAKE IT.
WHAT? NO WAY!
AW! REAL GOOD!
I'M GOING TO GET FIRED.
JAMES,
I SERIOUSLY
HAVE TO DELIVER
THAT CHICKEN, OK?
IT'S PERSONAL.
I GOT TO GET THE MONEY.
THIS IS MY JOB.
WHAT? I DON'T GET A TIP?
IT'S ALL YOURS, MAN.
I'LL NEED THE BIKE
AND UNIFORM BACK BY 5:00.
OH, AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE
WHEN YOU DELIVER THE CHICKEN.
COMPANY PROTOCOL.
WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
YEAH, I HAVE
A CHICKEN DELIVERY
FOR TERENCE
RUSSELL McCORMACK.
JAMIE?
THE KID ORDER CHICKEN?
Jamie on walkie-talkie:
UH, ROGER, ROGER.
ROGER.
OK. THAT WAY.
THANKS.
SO THE KID JUST ASKS,
"YOU GOT ANY KIDS?"
AND I SAY,"YEAH.
YEAH, I HAVE."
HE SAYS, "WHAT SHOW
ARE THEY ON?"
IS THAT SAD OR WHAT?
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
IT'S ALL
MY BROTHER'S FAULT.
I WAS JUST FINE
UNTIL HE ALTERED
MY ENTIRE REALITY.
I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS GOING TO WORK.
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
I'M SORRY.
DID YOU FORGETHE SPECIAL SAUCE AGAIN?
NO--NO. NEVER MIND.
IT'S ALL THERE.
THIS CHICKEN'S DIRTY.
YOU--YOU DON'EVEN KNOW ME?
OH, MY GOSH!
YOU'RE...
YOU'RE
THE CHICKEN GUY.
WHAT ARE
YOU WAITING FOR?
OH, OK.
HERE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
IT'S ME. ALEX.
[SOFTLY] OK.
"ME ALEX."
YOU CAN GO NOW.
WAIT.
WHAT SOUNDED BETTER?
"IT'S ALL
MY BROTHERS FAULT,"
OR "IT'S ALL MY
BROTHER'S FAULT?"
I'M NOT--
SIT DOWN A MINUTE.
BROCCOLI?
UH, NO, THANKS.
I DON'T LIKE 'EM EITHER.
THEY WON'T LET ME
HAVE COOKIES.
PICK A CARD, ANY CARD.
DON'T SHOW IT TO ME.
PUT IT BACK, ANYWHERE.
PUT IT BACK.
CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION?
IS THIS YOUR CARD?
UM, NO.
DO YOU--DO YOU
LIKE YOUR LIFE?
NO?!
IT NEVER WORKS!
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!
DO YOU LIKE
YOUR FAMILY?
BUT OF COURSE.
I HAVE A WONDERFUL MOTHER
WHO I JUST SAW LAST WEEK
AND A WONDERFUL FATHER
SOMEPLACE IN ARIZONA.
Woman: I THINK HE'LL
BE PERFECT FOR THE PART.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
OH, AND WONDERFUL
BABY WRANGLER NAMED ZOE.
AH. WHO HASN'T HAD
ENOUGH ENERGY TODAY?
AND WHO HASN'T BEEN
SMILING ENOUGH?
SPARKLE, SPARKLE, SPARKLE.
SMILE, SMILE, SMILE.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M HIS...
I'M THE CHICKEN GUY.
HUH.
OK, SWEETIE BOY,
THEY'RE ALMOSREADY FOR YOU.
OH, AND I JUST READ
A NEW SCRIPT FOR YOU.
THIS TIME YOU PLAY A REAL,
REGULAR, ORDINARY KID.
A REGULAR KID...
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
I COULD SHOW YOU.
YOU COULD
COME BY MY HOUSE.
I COULD?
YEAH, YEAH.
1721 WYSTERIA DRIVE.
STOP BY ANYTIME.
I GOT TO GO BACK
TO L.A. TOMORROW.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAD
A LOT MORE FUN WHEN
YOU WERE MY BROTHER.
WHEN DID I PLAY
YOUR BROTHER?
IN REAL LIFE.
I WAS TEACHING YOU
HOW TO THROW A SPIRAL.
YOU WERE BASICALLY
DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I HAD TO KICK YOU OUOF MY ROOM A LOT.
BUT WE PLAYED
GAMES, YOU KNOW, LIKE
SLIME WARS, SEEFOOD.
THAT'S WHERE YOU
OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH
AND YOU SHOW
EVERYBODY WHAT YOU ATE.
SECURITY!
WAIT.
SECURITY!
THERE'S
A LUNATIC IN HERE
WHO THINKS
I'M HIS BROTHER!
I WASN'T GONNA
HURT HIM, OK?
WE WERE JUSTALKING.
I KNOW.
SO I GUESS HIS LIFE
ISN'T AS HAPPY
AS I THOUGHT.
HAPPY? POOR KID.
I WOULDN'WISH HIS LIFE ON A DOG.
MAKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
WALKIN' FAST
FACES PASSIN',
I'M HOME BOUND
STARIN' BLANKLY AHEAD
JUST MAKIN' MY WAY
MAKIN' MY WAY
THROUGH THE CROWD
AND I NEED YOU
AND I MISS YOU
AND NOW I WONDER
IF I COULD FALL
INTO THE SKY
DO YOU THINK TIME
WOULD PASS ME BY?
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES
IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU
IF I COULD FALL
INTO THE SKY
DO YOU THINK TIME
WOULD PASS ME BY?
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES
IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU
IF I COULD JUSHOLD YOU
[GOBBLING]
TONIGHT
GOOBLE GOBBLE.
HEY, WAIT!
HEY, WAIT! HEY!
STOP! HEY!
[WHISTLES]
[HUMMING]
HMM?
STOP THE CAR!
STOP THE CAR!
PULL OVER!
HEY!
STEVIE--I MEAN,
TERENCE.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
NOTHIN'.
I'M DONE FOR THE DAY.
I'M GOIN' BACK
TO THE HOTEL.
HOW COME YOU'RE
TALKIN' TO ME?
DIDN'T YOU JUSKICK ME OUT OF YOUR
DRESSING ROOM?
FORGET ABOUT IT.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
NO PLACE.
THAT SOUNDS WAY BETTER.
HEY, RON, I'M GONNA
WALK WITH MY FRIEND
FOR A WHILE.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER
TO PICK ME UP.
I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU
TO THE HOTEL.
SO? I WANNA HANG OUWITH MY FRIEND.
[SIGHS]
I DON'T KNOW, TERENCE.
YOU WANT ME
TO START SCREAMING?
NO.
OK, OK.
HOW ABOUT I WALK
AND YOU FOLLOW?
ALL RIGHT, BUT STAY
WHERE I CAN SEE YOU.
OK.
THEY NEVER LET ME
DO ANYTHING.
YEAH.
HEY, DO YOU KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOUR LEFAND YOUR RIGHT?
THIS IS CAMERA LEFT,
THIS IS CAMERA RIGHT.
OK, WHEN
I GIVE THE SIGNAL,
I WANT YOU TO
TURN TO YOUR LEFAND RUN, OK?
OK, WHAT'S THE SIGNAL?
Alex: UM...
I'LL SAY
"CHOCOLATE," OK?
OK.
CHOCOLATE!
[SIGHS]
OH, NO.
Alex: OK, SO HOW MUCH
TROUBLE ARE YOU IN?
RON WILL KEEP
LOOKING BY HIMSELF
FOR ABOUT AN HOUR,
THEN HE'LL CALL FOR HELP.
WE'RE HAVING A REAL-LIFE
ADVENTURE, RIGHT?
YOU AND ME?
RIGHT.
YEAH!
HEY, LOOK! IT'S
TERENCE RUSSELL McCORMACK!
HEY--HEY--HEY--HEY!
WAIT A MINUTE.
I ALWAYS WANTED TO RIDE
ONE OF THESE THINGS.
THEY WOULD NEVER LET ME.
CAN I HAVE A QUARTER?
YEAH, YEAH.
[COINS CLANK]
OH, LOOK THERE.
YOU DROP THAT?
THANKS.
YEAH! WHOO!
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE DIDN'T GIVE HIM
THE COIN.
WHAT?
IF HE DIDN'T GIVE STEVIE
THE COIN AT THE MALL,
THEN HE STILL
HAS IT, RIGHT?
WHO--WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
COME ON. WE HAVE
TO GET TO THE MALL
BEFORE IT CLOSES.
WAIT! GET ME OUOF THIS THING!
OH, NO! NO!
AW, IT CAN'T BE!
WHAT?
COIN WORLD.
IT'S OUT OF BUSINESS.
AW, MAN, NOW HOW AM I
GONNA FIND HIM?
Alex: TICKETS.
RAFFLE TICKETS.
ABBY SOLD HIM
A RAFFLE TICKET.
THAT'S IT.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING?
BACK TO OUR OLD LIVES,
I HOPE.
WHO LIVES HERE?
JUST--JUST CHILL, OK?
NOW WHAT?
OH, ARE YOU TRYING
TO IMPRESS ME
JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW
A MOVIE STAR?
I'M NOA MOVIE STAR.
I'M A REGULAR,
ORDINARY KID.
MMM.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
FOR WHAT?
YOU KNOW
THAT SPEECH I GAVE
AT THE AWARDS THING?
IT'S TRUE.
[DOOR CLOSES]
YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU AND I WERE BEST FRIENDS,
YOU WISHED
ON A MAGIC COIN,
HE WAS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER,
AND WE'RE ALL IN
AN ALTERNATE REALITY.
YES, YES.
NO. NO WAY.
Alex: WHY NOT?
BECAUSE YOU AND I
COULD HAVE NEVER
BEEN BEST FRIENDS.
OK, OK. TELL ME
HOW I KNOW THIS.
WHEN WE WERE 5,
YOU CRIED FOR A WEEK
'CAUSE YOUR SISTER TOLD YOU
ABBY WAS SHORT FOR ABNORMAL.
YOU'RE AFRAID OF PARROTS,
CLOWNS, AND FALLING SPACE JUNK.
DID YOU BRIBE MEGHAN?
NO, YOU TOLD ME
THOSE THINGS, ABBS.
LOOK, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
THAT CAN HELP ME, OK?
YOU'VE GOT LARRY'S ADDRESS
ON A RAFFLE TICKET STUB.
HE CAN GIVE ME THE COIN,
AND I CAN GET THE REAL
STEVIE BACK.
SO YOU'RE TELLIN' ME
THAT IN THE LIFE
WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW,
I JUST GOT BORN
INTO THE WRONG FAMILY?
EXACTLY.
WOW, REAL LIFE
IS WAY WEIRDER
THAN SHOW BUSINESS.
OK, LET ME
UNDERSTAND THIS.
YOU ARE THE MOSSICKENINGLY
POPULAR GUY
AT HARPER
HIGH SCHOOL,
AND YOU WANNA GEYOUR NONEXISTENT...
SEMI-NONEXISTENBROTHER BACK
AND CHANGE ALL THAT?
YES.
OK, LET'S GET BUSY.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SLIP
INTO THE WRONG DIMENSIONS
ALL THE TIME.
LIKE, THEY FOUND THIS GUY
SOMEWHERE IN, LIKE, GEORGIA,
AND HE HAD THIS OLD
CIVIL WAR UNIFORM ON,
AND HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT CARS OR--
Alex: I GOT IT!
NO. "LUCKY SORENSON."
...OR ANYTHING.
SO THEY PUT HIM
IN A HOSPITAL,
AND THEY GAVE HIM
COLORING BOOKS.
ONE TIME,
I HAD AN AGENWHO SPONTANEOUSLY
COMBUSTED.
HE DID!
WHAT'S MY CAT'S NAME?
MR. TERWILLIGER,
BUT YOU CALL HIM TWIX.
YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE WHO HAVE
SUPERNATURAL EXPERIENCES
ARE OFTEN TREATED
LIKE OUTCASTS.
IN SOME COUNTRIES--
WHAT'S
MY FAVORITE SNACK?
MUSTARD AND SUGAR
SANDWICHES.
EWW.
RIGHT.
IN SOME COUNTRIES,
PEOPLE'S EYEBALLS
ARE GOUGED OUT AND EATEN
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY'VE SEEN TOO MUCH.
COOL.
YEAH, AND THEN EVERYBODY
WORSHIPS THEM,
BECAUSE THEY'RE, LIKE,
MAGIC BLIND PEOPLE.
I FOUND IT!
I FOUND IT!
I THINK.
LARRY SOMETHING
WITH A "P."
LARRY PENDRAGON.
MAYBE HE'S A WIZARD.
LET'S GO.
HEY, HOLD IT!
WE CAN'T GO
RUNNING AROUND
WITH A MOVIE STAR.
Alex: GOOD POINT.
OH, NO.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME.
DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU WANT ME
TO START SCREAMIN'?
THERE'LL BE
NO SCREAMING, OK?
YOU DO WHATEVER WE SAY.
GOT IT?
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
WE NEED A DISGUISE.
YOU KNOW, I BET YOUR PARENTS
ARE OUT LOOKING FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW.
OR THE POLICE, EVEN.
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?
IF I CAN FIND LARRY
AND GET THE COIN BACK,
NONE OF THIS
WILL HAVE EVER HAPPENED.
GOOD POINT.
[GASPING]
2354. HERE IT IS.
HOW AM I DOIN'?
I'M DOIN' OK, RIGHT?
I'M NOT SCREAMING.
I'M HELPING, RIGHT?
Alex: YEAH.
YEAH.
6-A.
UH-OH.
THIS MUST BE
THE WRONG PLACE.
IT'S THE RIGHT NUMBER.
[DOOR CREAKS]
WHO'S THERE?
OH, EXCUSE US.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
LARRY PENDRAGON.
HE MOVED. THE STAIRS
WERE TOO MUCH.
GREAT.
UM, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE HE MOVED?
BEELER STREET.
THE SUNNYVILLE
RETIREMENT MANOR, OK?
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES]
WHAT?
[BELL CLANGS]
YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO COME WITH ME.
I WANTED TO.
SO WAS FIONA
YOUR GIRLFRIEND--
YOU KNOW,
IN YOUR OTHER LIFE?
NAH. NO WAY.
CLOSEST THING I HAD
TO A GIRLFRIEND WAS YOU.
I--YOU WEREN'MY GIRLFRIEND.
WE WERE JUST FRIENDS.
JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.
INTERESTING.
SO ARE YOU, LIKE,
CUTER NOW?
I DON'T THINK SO.
SMARTER?
NO.
AM I DIFFERENT?
NO.
BUT YOU NEVER
TALKED TO ME
TILL THE OTHER DAY.
I GUESS, YEAH.
SO IN THIS
PARALLEL UNIVERSE
YOU'RE, LIKE,
MORE OF, UM...
A JERK.
DEFINITELY, HEH.
HEY, GUYS, LOOK,
I FOUND A DIME!
THIS IS WAY COOLER
THAN A LIMO.
[BELL RINGS]
Dispatcher on police radio:
COME IN.
13 PROMENADE...
DON'T WORRY.
IF THEY PUT YOU IN JAIL,
YOU CAN USE
MY LAWYER.
GREAT.
[CLOCK TICKING]
THERE'S NOBODY AROUND.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO FIND HIM?
LISTEN.
MAYBE IT'S REALLY
A SECRET LABORATORY
RUN BY
A MAD SCIENTIST.
OK, WELL,
YOU CAN WAIT OUTSIDE
IF YOU WANT TO.
NO WAY.
THE PERSON
WHO WAITS OUTSIDE
ALWAYS GETS EATEN FIRST.
[MUSIC PLAYS, LAUGHTER]
[PLAYS SOUR NOTES]
LARRY--LARRY--
IT'S LARRY.
OH! EXCUSE US!
EXCUSE US.
[MUSIC STOPS]
WE'RE HERE TO SEE
LARRY PENDRAGON.
YEAH, THAT'S ME.
OH, WELL,
I GUESS YOU'LL--
[SOUR NOTE]
ALL HAVE TO
EXCUSE ME. HA HA.
All: AW.
LARRY.
Conductor:
AH, ONE MORE TIME.
[MUSIC RESUMES]
WHOO! THANKS, GUYS.
I NEVER COULD STAND
THE ACCORDION MYSELF,
BUT, HEY, IT'S MUSIC.
SO WHAT,
I WON THE RAFFLE?
UH, NO, SORRY.
BUT THE DRAWING'S
NOT TILL NEXT WEEK,
SO MAYBE YOU DID.
WELL, HOPE SPRINGS
ETERNAL, RIGHT?
LOOK, YOU GOT THIS COIN
I HAVE TO FIND.
OH, MAN, I'M SORRY.
I CLOSED DOWN
MY COIN BUSINESS.
I COULDN'HANDLE IT ANYMORE.
THIS IS REALLY
CRITICAL, LARRY.
YEAH, THERE IS
A SEMI-NONEXISTENHUMAN LIFE AT STAKE HERE.
Stevie:
WHICH IS ME...
IN ANOTHER
DIMENSION.
OK, COOL.
COME THIS WAY.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE THESE ALL THE COINS
YOU HAVE LEFT?
Larry: THAT'S IT.
SO YOU SAID IT HAD
AN OWL ON IT?
YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S PROBABLY
A GREAT TETRADRACH.
MORE THAN ONE
OF THOSE HAD AN OWL.
Alex: WELL, THIS ONE
WAS GOOD FOR ONE WISH.
I HEARD ABOUT SOMETHING
LIKE THAT ONCE.
OR MAYBE I DREAMED IT.
ANYWAY,
THERE'S NOTHING HERE,
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GONNA FIND
AN OWL IN THAT GROUP.
AN OWL. AN OWL.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE MAY HAVE BEEN
AN OWL IN A BAG
THAT I SOLD JUST BEFORE
I CLOSED SHOP.
OK, WELL, DO YOU KNOW
WHO YOU SOLD IT TO?
PROBABLY A DEALER.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
ANY RECORD OF IT.
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, ALEX.
WE'D BETTER GO.
YEAH.
SURE WISH I COULD
HELP YOU GUYS.
KINDA MISS YOU KIDS.
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S BACK TO
THE OLD RECITAL.
ALL RIGHT. WELL,
THANKS ANYWAYS, LARRY.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU, LARRY.
SEE YA, ABBS.
LOOK, I KNOW
IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP,
BUT I PROMISE NOT TO POUR
ANY MORE DAIRY PRODUCTS
ON YOUR HEAD.
AND IT WAS NICE
MEETING YOU, TERENCE.
NICE MEETING YOU, TOO.
SORRY I DIDN'HAVE AN AUTOGRAPHED
PICTURE FOR YOU.
THAT'S OK.
I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
I'LL SEE YA.
TOMORROW'S
OUR LAST DAY HERE.
THINK YOU COULD
COME TO THE SET?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
I'LL LEAVE
A PASS FOR YOU.
OK.
ALEX?
YEAH?
WAS THIS WHAIT WAS LIKE BEFORE
WHEN I WAS
YOUR REAL BROTHER,
IF I REALLY WAS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, DID WE HAVE
REALLY COOL ADVENTURES
LIKE TONIGHT?
SOMETIMES.
DID I REALLY GET JELLY
ON YOUR SKATES?
YEAH.
WHAT KIND
OF JELLY WAS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY
WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
OK.
[INAUDIBLE CHATTER
ON POLICE RADIO]
[SIREN]
DON'T SHOOT.
I SURRENDER.
[CHATTER CONTINUES
ON POLICE RADIO]
Dad: WELL, WE DON'WANT ANY PUBLICITY,
EITHER.
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
OH, WELL, THAT'S
GREAT THEN, HEH.
WE'RE ALL ON
THE SAME PAGE.
[BOTH LAUGH]
UH, LOOK, UM,
IF YOU'RE EVER IN L.A.,
YOU GIVE ME A CALL.
OH.
OH.
OK?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME.
HELLO?
YES.
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
HI, PENELOPE.
I JUST HAD THE BEST NIGHOF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
YOU ARE? OH.
WHEN?
CONGRATULATIONS.
SO DO I HAVE
TO CALL HIM DAD?
AHEM.
I GOTTA GO. BYE.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
BYE, ALEX.
SEE YA, KID.
AHEM.
TV Reporter: THE ONLY PERSON
WHO RECOGNIZED VAN GOGH'S
BRILLIANCE DURING HIS LIFETIME
AND ACTUALLY BUY
ONE OF HIS PAINTINGS
WAS HIS OWN BROTHER.
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
Narrator:
IN THE HARSH WINTER,
PERHAPS ONLY ONE
OF THE SIBLINGS WILL SURVIVE.
[TURNS TV OFF]
HEY, BLING.
DAD, I'M NOT BLING.
I'M JUST ALEX.
ALEX.
YOU WANNA GO FOR BRUNCH
AT THE HILLTOP
WITH JUDGE HARLEY,
YOUR MOM, AND ME?
NOT HUNGRY.
OK.
I WAS GONNA SAVE THIS
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
BUT YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE A LIFRIGHT ABOUT NOW.
I GOT THESE AA CLOSEOUT SALE.
THEY'RE ALL ANCIENTS.
THANKS.
SURE. WELL...
SEE YA.
DON'T MESS WITH ME.
THIS IS IT!
THIS IS IT!
ALEX?
YES!
Mom: HONEY,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
ALEX?
I'M FINE.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.
SON, LET ME IN!
Mom: ALEX!
I THINK YOU GOTTA SAY THIS
EXACTLY RIGHT.
ALEX, NOW! COME ON!
I'M GETTING HIM OUT.
OK.
Mom: ALEX!
IS EVERYTHING OK IN THERE?
OK. I WISH
THAT STEVIE...
Mom: COME ON!
NO.
HONEY, I'M GONNA
CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!
EVERYTHING
WILL BE ALL RIGHT!
OK, DON'T BLOW IT.
DON'T BLOW IT.
I WISH...
I WISH I NEVER MADE
THE FIRST WISH.
YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY
AND EVERYTHING CHANGES
YOU CROSS A LINE,
AND THERE'S NO TURNING BACK
MMM,
YOU'RE CAUGHT BETWEEN
THE LOVE AND...
STEVIE!
IT'S HARD TO LEAVE
A HEART...
STEVIE!
SO OPEN UP TO THAT
YOU WISH
EVERY TIME A STAR FALLS
FROM THE SKY
YOU WISH
AND YOU FEEL
THE WAY YOU FEEL INSIDE
GOOBLE GOBBLE!
LEAVE IT ALL UP TO ME
AS YOU SEE YOURSELF
STEVIE.
LOVIN' AGAIN
YOU WISH
WHERE'S STEVIE?
OUTSIDE, I THINK.
DO WE HAVE A VIPER?
UH, I DON'T THINK SO.
GREAT.
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
STEVIE!
I'M SORRY
I CRASHED YOUR BIKE!
YOU CRASHED MY BIKE.
YOU LITTLE--
AAH!
WHAT IS THIS?
AAH!
I DON'T KNOW.
AAH!
ALEX,
IT'S RAINING!
IF YOU THINK
THIS IS GONNA MAKE US CAVE
ON THE GROUNDING THING...
YOU HEAR THAT, STEVIE?
I'M GROUNDED.
LOOK, MOM, DAD,
IT'S STEVIE!
HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK!
UH, ALEX,
I DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE.
ABBY. JAMES.
OH, MY BEST FRIENDS.
HELLO, JAMES.
UH, ALEX,
ARE YOU OK?
I--I AM SO OK,
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
ABBY. ABBS...
DO YOU--DO YOU WANNA
GO SKATING?
JUST--JUSTHE TWO OF US?
REALLY?
I MEAN, YEAH.
YEAH, I DO.
OK. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, FIONA!
I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!
HUH?
Dad: ABBY, JAMES!
YOU WANNA TRY SOME
OF MY FAMOUS PANCAKES?
HEH, SURE.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
WE'RE HAVIN'
FUNNY PANCAKES.
I KNOW
I CAN ALWAYS WIN
I CAN DO ANYTHING, I
DO MORE THAN DREAM, I
THINK
YOU MAKE EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
JUST RIGHT
SO LIGHT
LIFE IS GOOD
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND
NOTHING COULD
BRING ME DOWN
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT I HAVE FOUND
NOTHING CAN
HOLD ME DOWN