Zenobia (1939) Movie Script
Jack, it's beautiful.
There's just one thing, Young Lady...
What's that?
I don't believe in long engagements.
Neither do I.
Now, I may be wrong, but I never did believe
in long engagements, and I always will.
- Oh, Mother. Mother.
- Darling.
- Isn't it wonderful?
- Oh, isn't it lovely?
It looks just like the one your
father ALMOST gave me.
I beg your pardon Mrs. Tibbett, but don't you
think I better speak to your husband about this?
Why, yes, Jeffrey, I think that
would be a good idea.
Zero! Zero!
Ma'am, Mizz Tibbett?
Zero, come here!
Yes, 'am. This knife keeps slippin' and fallin'...
Zero, run down to the village and tell
Dr. Tibbett to come home right away.
- Yes, 'am.
- Wait a minute.
Tell him Mrs. Carter's comin' to dinner.
- You will invite your mother, won't you?
- Yes, of course.
Wait a minute!
Now, let me see. What was the other
thing I wanted to tell you to tell him?
Uh...I don't know. Ma'am...there...Mizz Tibbett...
About the engagement.
Oh, yes, of course. Tell him Mr. Jeffrey wants
to ask his permission to marry Miss Mary.
You got that all straight?
Yes, 'am, but...not exactly...
Well, that's just fine, now run along.
Yes, 'am
And please hurry, because
I've got a million things to do.
Well, to work, to work, to work, to work.
Don't folks know you can get places,
most places without so much hurryin'?
Get outta my way, Boy, don't
you see I'm on business.
It's a boy.
And you just take it easy and relax, Mr. Dover,
and in a few days you'll be yourself again.
A boy, Doctor. I still can't believe it.
- Well, if at first you...
- Oh, by the way, Doctor, ah...
About your bill...
- I'll pay it at just as soon as...
- Never mind, Mr. Dover.
This one's on me.
- Well, good day.
- Good day.
- Dr. Tibbett, Sir.
- Whatsa matter, Zero?
Mizz Tibbett's saying...house...
it's powerful important.
- Get in the buggy.
- Yes, Sir.
- I got done following Mizz Tibbett... ... ...
- What was wrong?
It was somethin' 'bout... ... ... ...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
- What happened to your arm?
- Trying...knife...
Well, is there somebody sick?
No...uh...never said medicine...
Well, was there a fire?
- No, Sir, there's no firemens there...
- Can you think of what's wrong?
Yes, Sir, I KNOW what's wrong, but...
I just can't remember, Doctor.
And I remember so much...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Well, never mind, we're home now
and I can find out for myself.
Yes, Sir.
Bessie! Oh, Bessie!
Bessie, are you all right?
Fine, thank you, Henry! How are you?
But, what about Mary, is she all right?
Why, she's just fine, Henry.
- But, Bessie!
- Yes, Dear?
Zero told me...
Mary, how does the upstairs look?
It's all finished, Mother. Just sit
down and stop worrying, Dear.
- Oh, Dad, isn't it all exciting?
- Isn't WHAT exciting?
Where do these flowers go, Mary?
Right in that vase, Mother,
that's where I just put them.
Oh, well, you know how to do it, then.
Mary, what's all this excitement about?
Zero, where's that silver polish?
Polish is uh...
- Mary, wait a minute...
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- Where's the silver polish?
Never mind, I've got it.
Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy. Aren't you?
Dehlia! Come out of that oven and
tell me what's going on in this house!
I'z sorry, Dr. Tibbett, I got so much work
to do, and Mizz Tibbett told me directly
that I wasn't to talk to
nobody, not even to myself.
But what I'm trying to find out is...
Zeke, don't let me catch you
messin' with this here pie, ya hear me?
Dehlia, what I want to know is...
I'z sorry, Doctor, but Mizz
Tibbett done give me strict orders.
Can't find out anything around here.
Nobody wants to tell you what's going on.
Ain't nothin' much going
on here, exceptin' a weddin'.
- Wedding?
- Yes, Sir.
- Who's gettin' married?
- Miss Mary.
- My daughter?
- Yes, Sir!
Oh, Mary! Oh, Mary! Mary! Mary!
Oh, Mary, I want to talk to you.
I beg your pardon, Dr. Tibbett,
there's something I wanted to ask you.
- Can't stop now, Jeff!
- But Doctor, I...
I'm sorry, Jeff, not right now,
I...I...this is very important.
But this is pretty important, too, Sir.
Ah, you'll have to see me later,
Jeff, I want to talk to Mary.
But that's just it, I want to marry 'er.
That's fine, Son.
What?
- YOU wanna marry her?
- Yes, Sir!
If it's all right with you, Sir.
Why, sure. Sure, it's all right with me.
If it's all right with you...Pumpkin.
It's all right with me...Doc.
Bessie!
Now, Henry!
Don't stand there and shout at me!
I'm busy! I haven't time!
But...but, they're
going to get married!
Of course they are, that's
what I've been telln' you.
But...but, Bessie, this is the
finest piece of news I've ever heard.
It's wonderful! And we'll drink
a toast to it right now!
Ah...Bessie, where is that
bottle of real old sherry?
Oh, I threw that OLD sherry
away. I have some nice NEW
sherry. I'll show you right
where it is in the kitchen.
Unless I put it somewhere else.
Oh, Mary, put these flowers in water.
We want everything to look just
right before Mrs. Carter gets here.
Sherry...kitchen.
- Jeff,
- Huh?
Did ya tell her yet?
Mother? I haven't had a chance yet, Honey.
- I figured I'd tell her tonight.
- Well, I'm kinda worried.
You see, you're folks have
always been so important.
And your grandfather and father
both being governors.
And a town named after
your family, and all that.
How's your mother gonna
feel about my family?
I know what you mean, Honey.
But Mom's really not so bad.
She's got a lot of social ideas,
with family stuff, and all that.
She gonna be all right!
I'm the happiest father in
the State of Mississippi.
So 'm I.
- Doctor, ... ... ... ...
- Never mind, ZERO!
... ... I hope I don't forget again.
Jeff, I was just thinking,
how'di't be we don't say
anything to mother tonight
about us getting married.
Why not? I'm sure
she'd be interested, too.
Well, you see, Mother, Mrs. Carter's
always had an idea of Jeff marrying...
well...someone...sort of "social".
Not just some little
ol' country doctor's family.
Well, it isn't as bad as that! I...
Isn't it? So, I thought if we
broke it to her kinda easy....
You know, like Doc does, give it
to her in small doses.
Well, that's a good idea, Jeff!
Back to work, to work, to work, to work.
Well, I guess I'd better
be gettin' along, too.
I'll see ya to the door, Jeff.
Good day, Sir.
Good day.
Now, you're not going to
worry about tonight, Darling,
because everything is gonna
work out just fine, ya hear?
- I hope so, really.
- I know.
Doc, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
I didn't mean what I said about
your being a country doctor.
Well, what did ya mean?
Well, I know you're the finest doctor
this town has ever had.
And you used to be successful.
You took care of all the best families.
Why, Mrs. Carter used to pay you
hundreds of dollars a year, didn't she?
- Yes.
- And one day you insulted her.
Told her she wasn't sick
and didn't need a doctor
and you wouldn't
go back to see her again.
Then she broke her neck.
Didn't ya?!?!
- Yes, but...
- It wasn't only Mrs. Carter.
Ya did the same to everyone else in
town that could really afford a doctor.
And now look at it...
we owe money to everyone.
We don't even own this house...The Bank
owns it. And Mrs. Carter owns The Bank.
Why, we haven't even paid
our servants in over a year.
Actually, I'm so ashamed,
I can't hold my head up.
- I'm sorry, Pumpkins, but...
- I know, Doc, but what's the matter?
What's happened? What is it?
That!
Oh, what's that got to do with it?
When I was sitting here
reading it one day, and I
suddenly discovered that
it had a lot of sense to it.
Especially the part where
it says "All men are created equal,"
"and are entitled to life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness."
I still don't understand.
Aw, Pumpkins, I wasn't happy feeding pink
pills to Mrs. Carter and her rich friends.
I'd rather do something for somebody that needs
a doctor. Even if they can't pay their bills.
And besides, I can't see where any man,
can make a mistake in living-up to
The Declaration of Independence. Can you?
No.
Doc, I guess you're still my favorite father.
Mizz Mary, Mizz Tibbett wants
you in the kitchen right away!
Run along, Pumpkins, your mother needs you.
- I will if you promise me one thing.
- What?
That you won't read it
again until after the wedding.
That's mighty funny, it was
right here ten years ago.
Things certainly do get
mislaid around this house.
Mother, what ARE you looking for?
You remember that cut glass punchbowl, Mary.
The one that we borrowed from
Mrs. Randolph, that she loaned
to Mrs. Smith, after she
borrowed it back from Mrs. Watson.
- I wonder where it is.
- Why, that's OUR punchbowl.
You loaned it to Mrs. Randolph again.
How times fly!
Zeke, you run down, ask
her to lend it to us,
tell her she can borrow it
right back in the morning.
- Yes 'am.
- And hurry back, ya hear!
- Now, what was I lookin' for?
- Bowl, Mizz Tibbett.
Bowl! Oh...oh, yes, I still think it's
down here somewhere. Look in there, Dehlia.
- ...up there.
- I oughta know what's in my own kitchen!
...a remedy that I've brought
you at the risk of life and limb,
through the teaming jungles of Borneo
and across the burning
Sands of the Sahara.
A remedy...A remedy
that I've...I found...
one millionth of a moment...just
one, be right with you.
Ladies and gentlemen, Professor J. Thorndike
McCrackle famous Eastern Indian nerve tonic,
that will make you as strong as an elephant.
I absolutely refuse to sell
one bottle of this remedy,
until I offer you first
a little entertainment.
by that Queen of the Private Herd,
that Sacred Elephant,
ZENOBIA!
Whatsa matter, Babe? Whatsa matter?
Are you sick? Are you sick?
Honk!
Can't you tell me? Aw!
Something's gotta be done! Here! Here!
Here ya are, honey! Here, take this!
C'mon! Take this! C'mon!
Take this, this'll do ya good.
C'mon, drink it right down, Zenobia.
Thatagirl! Are you in pain, huh?
She's never acted like this before. Is...is...is
there a doctor in this town...a good doctor?
Dr. Tibbett, he's a good doctor.
Well, you go get him right quick and I'll
give you a bottle of my tonic for nothing?
- Ya'Sir
- Hurry now!
Dr. Tibbett! Dr. Tibbett!
- Whatsa matter, Zeke?
- She's sick, she's dyin'.
- Who's dyin'? Where?
- Over to the Carnival.
- Come quick! She's a-dyin' fast!
- Well, I better go and help her!
Henry, you can't leave now!
Oh! Mrs. Carter'll be here any minute.
But, Bessie, it's my duty if someone's ill.
Oh, she ain't ill, she's sick.
Goodbye, Dear.
C'mon, Zeke.
- Hurry back, Darling.
- Oh, it won't take me long.
Well, to work, to work,
to work, to work, to work.
- Professor!
- Yes! Yes!
Professor, this is Dr. Tibbett.
- Oh, Doctor, thank goodness you're here.
- Now, what seems to be the matter with her?
Why, I don't know. It's never happened
before in all these years we've been together.
Ah, how old is your wife?
- It's not my wife.
- I beg your pardon, then.
How old is the patient?
Oh...I..I..I'd would say...I'd say
about a hundred and four years.
Hum, unusual. Is she an active person?
How much does she weigh?
Well, I haven't weighed her lately but I'd judge
about six thousand one hundred seventy-two pounds.
Do YOU feel all right?
Why certainly I fell all right!
It isn't me, it's Zenobia.
- Where is she?
- She's in here! C'mon! Hurry up!
Six thousand pounds...
There she is.
Look here, I'm not an elephant doctor.
Oh, well, then, in that case,
I don't think I trust you with Zenobia.
- There's nothing too good for her.
- My dear man, I didn't ask to get that.
Dr. Tibbett, please do something, she's sick.
- Yeah.
- Well, as long as I'm here.
- I'll see what I can do for her.
- Well, that's..that's fine.
It's all right, Baby, this is
the doctor...he'll fix you up.
- Say, "Ah".
- Ah.
- Not you.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
I should've brought the
thermometer from the back porch.
Yeah, she quite a large girl.
Take it easy, Babe, take it easy!
Let see.
- She hasn't got a temperature?
- No.
Oh, thank goodness. Take it easy now.
Down, down, down, don't upset yourself.
What do you hear, Doctor?
WHAT DO YOU HEAR!?!
A salute of 21 guns somewhere!
- Oh, for goodness' sake, what'll we do.
- Well, we must keep her good and warm.
- I wonder how I'll do that.
- Well, That's YOUR problem.
- Oh, yeah. Well...well, say, Doctor...
- Hmm.
- Now, how much do I owe you for this?
- Eh, forget it.
Well, well, thanks. Say, you
know what I'll do for you?
I'll tell everybody in this town what a
fine elephant doctor you turned out to be.
- Thank you.
- It's all right.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
We must keep the elephant OUR little secret.
Understand?
- Good day, then.
- Good day.
Oh, Mary, have you seen your father?
Why mother, you sent Zero for him.
Did I? Well, let's find Zero then
we'll know where your father is.
..............seen him...........
.................hard to see.....
Oh, Zero, this is so upsettin'.
Mrs. Carter'll be arrivin' any minute.
Now, Mother, he'll be here.
He said he would. It'll be all right.
Just so long as he doesn't blurt-out everything
in front of Mrs. Carter, you know how he is.
- Miss Mary.
- Yes, Dehlia.
Oh, maybe we shouldn't have
invited your father tonight.
Here they are! Now...now,
don't...don't be excited!
Everybody be calm! I...I...I'll
answer the door myself.
- Stay right here.
- Yes, Ma'am.
Virginia, my smellin' salts.
- You should answer the door, Zero.
- Yes, Ma'am.
Not...not 'til I say I'm ready.
- Mary! Ready?
- Yes 'am.
- Not yet!
- ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
- I think I'll...
- Oh, Mother, please wait a minute.
It's just some mistake.
Now, don't get yourself all
worked-up, Mrs. Carter.
Thank you, Virginia.
- ...matter, Mother, is anything wrong?
- Everything's just fine, just fine.
You sit here, Darlin', that's right.
Ready!
Yes, 'am.
I beg your pardon Mr. Carter.....
- Good evening, Zero.
- My smellin' salts, Virginia.
Ah, you have them Mrs. Carter...in your hand.
Oh! Yes, yes! Thank you.
Mizz Tibbetts waitin' in the livin' room...
Come along, Dear.
- Good evening.
- Oh, good evening.
Mother, this is Mrs. Carter.
Is it? Oh, yes, I...I'm
so glad you could come.
- You know Virginia Reynolds.
- Of course I do.
- I hope I'm not intruding.
- Not at all, Dear, I'm happy to have you.
- Won't ya'll sit down.
- Oh, thank you, so nice of you.
I knew you wouldn't mind
my bringing Virginia along tonight...
she's company for me.
Why, Mrs. Carter,
I'm delighted. There's nothing like
company when you want somebody with
you...for company.
By the way, where is Dr. Tibbett?
- Mary, why don't you sing something.
- Why, Mother, you know I can't sing very well.
Perhaps Mrs. Carter would
enjoy a nice glass of sherry.
Yes, yes, I think that might help.
I feel one of my migraines coming-on.
- I'll get it for you right away, Mrs. Carter.
- Let me help you.
Oh, Jeff, it's all gone
wrong...the whole thing.
Mother's always that way at
first but she'll thaw-out.
Well, anyway, I'm glad we didn't try
to break the news to her tonight.
So am I.
- Dehlia, is this what you want?
- No, that ain't it.
Umm, if that chicken don't look
good enough to eat...I is!
- No you won't!
- Not even the gizzard?
No. Go over and get me that tureen.
Tureen. Tureen? Dehlia,
tureen is for the soup, ain't it?
Just get it!
.....just a..........
.....tureen.
And when I consulted with a
specialist in Vienna about my nose,
they told me I had the most
unusual case of a tropic rhinitis.
- A sort of a smell blind, you know?
- Smell blind?
Yes, for example, right now I can
almost imagine I smell fried chicken.
Don't you like fried chicken?
Like fried chicken? Why,
it's the worst thing in the
world for a person even
with an ordinary stomach.
Course! That's just the
way I feel about it myself.
Will you excuse me a minute, I
think I hear Dehlia callin' me.
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- Chicken, Dehlia, where's the chicken?
- Right here, Ma'am, don't it look good?
Umm...now that you've
made it, throw it out!
- Throw it out?
Uh-huh!
Zero, run out and get a pig!
- Pig?
- Yes, we're gonna have roast pork.
Make some applesauce and
figs, you know me.
Oh, Mizz Tibbett, you can't just catch
a pig and dress it with roast pork. Is it?
- You run the kitchen, don't ask me.
- Well, go and get the pig.
- ...one of OURS?
- Of COURSE one of ours!
- .......get Hanna.
- Yes, Hanna!
...don't bother nobody...
that's the nicest pigs we got.
A person has to be so careful what they eat,
not something simple like roast pork.
Roast pork?
Roast pork!?!
Of course there's nothin'
worse, you're absolutely right.
Just a minute, I think I
hear Dehlia callin' me again.
I'm always hearin' things.
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- The roast pork, where's the roast pork?
- It ain't come yet.
Oh, Dear!
...why...we got...this 'un
all right, Mizz...
Yes, thank you, Henry. Turn him loose.
- Eggs, Dehlia, get some eggs.
- Eggs?
And scramble them. No, all of them.
Mary, while you're down there,
get some sherry, and please hurry.
...get outta here, get that pig
outta this kitchen...get-on out!
- She's very pretty, isn't she.
-Yes, very pretty.
I mean she's so attractive, don't you think?
- Such nice clothes and all.
- Now, listen!
For the hundredth time, I didn't know
Mother was bringing Virginia here tonight.
- I didn't have anything to do with it.
- Oh, but Jeffrey, that's real sad.
I think it's real nice she came along.
Here, let me help you.
After all, as your Mother said, you two
were practically brought-up together.
Now, listen, are you gonna
stop talkin' about Virginia,
or will I have to do somethin' about it?
Oh, Jeffrey, I wasn't takin' about her...
All I said was that...
Are you gonna stop talkin' about her?
Darling, I was only saying
that Virginia was a very...
Did you call me, Mizz Mary?
No, Dehlia.
And this one's Dr. Tibbett and
myself when we were married.
Course we were younger then.
And on our honeymoon
when we went to New York.
On MY last visit to New York I consulted
four doctors about the diffused hepatitis.
You know...liver.
They're all agreed they've
never seen anything like it before.
How nice.
And this one's Mary
when she was a little girl.
Sittin' on my lap...that's me
sittin' right here under her.
Gini, my dear, my...
oh, yes...
Sorry to have been so long but we had
a terrible time finding the sherry.
- Didn't we, Jeff?
- And it was right in the bottle all the time.
Well, here's to you two...
Here's to Spring.
Well, well, well, here we all are.
Hello, Dear.
- Good evening, Mrs. Carter.
- Good evenin'.
I never saw you looking better in your life.
Evidently you disagree with all the
outstanding doctors of this country and Europe.
Henry, what kept you so long, Dear,
was it an important case?
Oh! A big case,
the biggest case I've ever had.
You know, Dr. Tibbett, everyone's been so
mysterious, they haven't told me yet why I'm here.
But that's just it, we weren't
gonna tell you 'til later.
Mother!
Really, Dr. Tibbett, if it's anything
concerning YOUR daughter and MY son.
Mother...Mary and I are going to get married.
Why! That's impossible!
And just exactly why is it impossible!?!
What's the matter with us?
Well, My Dear, there's a slight
difference in family backgrounds.
Mrs. Carter, I happen to like my family.
Jeffrey! We're leavin' this house immediately!
I absolutely forbid this marriage!
I'm sorry, Mother, but we're
gonna get married anyway.
Oh...oh, my heart.
- Mary, I'd better take Mother home.
- Yes, I guess you had.
- Come along, Mother.
- Oh, Jeffrey. Oh, Jeffrey.
Oh, my heart, Jeffrey.
- Henry, do something!
- There's nothing TO DO!
It isn't her heart, Bessie!
It's US!
Dinner is now bein' served.
The dining...is...everybody was here just now.
MRS. J. MORTIMER CARTER REQUESTS
THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY AT A
RECEPTION IN THE HOME OF MISS MARY TIBBITT.
Mary Tibbett!
She's so disgustingly healthy.
- I know, Mrs. Carter.
- And such an ordinary person.
Yes, but Jeffrey's got to
find THAT out for himself.
- Now, I wonder how...
- Didn't Mary say she couldn't sing very well?
Why, yes! Yes, I remember.
Oh...
WITH MUSIC.
"In honor of Miss Mary Tibbett."
- Oh, Darling, I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you, Mother.
- It's mighty nice of Mrs. Carter to want us.
- Well, of course she wants us, Daddy.
I knew she'd come around. It was just the
shock when she heard the good news.
Music! Oh, it's no use my going...
I can't play a note.
Why, Bessie!
Remember?
- Well, maybe if we practiced a little.
- All right!
- Ready?
- Uh-huh.
#I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls...#
- I'm sorry, Darlin'.
- Let's try it again, Dear. Ready?
#I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls...#
- 'scuse me...gentleman...
- Tell him I'll see him in a few minutes.
Ah, Doctor...it's about my baby.
Music, Bessie, music!
Oh, yes, of course. I'll be right back.
- Will you go away?
- But, Doctor!
I've been up all night with her...
just pacing the floor...
pacing, pacing, pacing the floor.
- ...foot bath.
- We're not going to have any more guesswork.
We're going to do this
thing scientifically.
Well, now, listen, the old fashioned
remedy, you know, works pretty good.
If you don't mind, we're going to make a
thorough examination from beginning to end.
- Well, where are you going to start?
- We're going to start at the bottom and work up.
We're going to sub-divide her into zones.
- Zones!?!
- Yes!
Now, this will be zone one!
Mark her!
Now, this is zone two!
Now, the head will be zone three!
Now, zone four...
well, we'll get to that later.
Now, you hold that!
Now, will you have her
raise her pedal extremity?
Her what?
- Hoof!
- Oh! Her foot...sure!
Come on, Baby, raise your tootsie!
Her reflexes are all right.
Hold this, please.
Sounds very much like a bass drum.
Now for the heart.
I really don't think there's
anything wrong with her heart.
- Come on out! Come on!
- Keep quiet! I'm trying to listen to her heart!
Yeah, but you better come out, come out quick!
How can I hear anything when you keep talking?!?
I know! I know! But you don't know!
Will you get out of here
and let me alone, please!
Oh! Oh! You better come out!
You better come out!
She see her..she see...she sees the
M-O-U-S-E
Come ou...No, wait...no,
no..wait...no, no...wait...
No, no, no, Zenobia, Zenobia, don't you...
...up, up, Zenobia, get up...get up,
Zenobia, will you get up outta there...
You're on the Doctor...get up! Get...
There! Now! It's gone!
Will you get up!?! Get up! That's it!
Get...Stay up there!
I told you to come out!
I never had a patient do that to me before!
That's the last straw!
No, no, no! No! You can't go! You can't!
You can't go away and leave a poor,
dumb animal to suffer like that!
Have you no conscience?
Have you no...no feeling?
Have you...no pride?
Well, all right, maybe you're right.
I got myself into it, I'll finish it.
I guarantee she won't sit on you again...
I hope.
- Oh, Doctor, how is her heart?
- Perfect.
Oh, that's good.
Ah, let me have your trunk.
The trunk, Baby, that's it.
- Oh! Oh!
- Well, anyway! That isn't stopped up!
I'm...I'm...I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm sorry.
- Would you mind getting me that ladder?
- Oh, sure! Oh, sure, Doctor, sure.
A ladder...a ladder...
an elephant can't climb a ladder.
- I'm going to climb the ladder.
- Oh! Oh, yeah.
- Stand still!
- I'm doing the best I can!
Oh! I don't mean you, I mean Zenobia.
Back! Back! Back, Zenobia!
Back! Back!
This is a fine state of affairs!
But Zenobia, this is for your own good!
Back! Back! Back! Back, Zenobia! Back!
Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor.
It'll never happen again.
Oh! A touch a alopecia generalis.
- What's that?
- A slight touch of baldness...but it's nothing.
- Maybe she's deaf.
- Say! That's possible.
- Hello!
- Hello, how are you?
I'm fine.
HELLO!!
Well, she's not deaf!
Oh, that's fine, Doctor. Now, you stop
your playing! Do you understand!?!
This thing has got me stumped.
Yes! Me, too!
Say! Has an elephant got a knot in its tail?
- Aw! No! Why?
- Oh, nothing.
Now, I wonder who did that.
Look! She feels better already!
Well, you won't have to
worry with her anymore.
Thanks, Doctor, you did a great job.
- What's that for?
- Oh, don't worry about that, that's nothing.
She always does that when
she wants to pick me up.
Come on, Baby, up we go! Up!
Oh! Oh, no! No, no, no! Stop!
Aw, doctor, that's just her way
of showing gratitude. She like ya!
I like her, too, but I wouldn't do this to her.
Tell her to put me down!
Oh, all right! Zenobia, let him down!
Put him down! Put him down!
Say, Doctor, I don't know how I'll
ever re-pay you for what you've done.
Never mind the pay! I never want to see
you and that elephant again as long as I live.
But she'll always remember.
Remember, an elephant never forgets.
Yes! But I'm NOT an elephant!
No.
Well, not exactly.
Back! Back, back, back, Zenobia! Back!
Zenobia! Zenobia, you come back here,
come back and get to bed!
Zenobia, you know this climate
is not good for you.
Honey, you're gonna be the prettiest
girl at the whole reception tonight.
Thank you, Dehlia, now please hurry.
Hurry! I've been hurryin' for
the last two hours!
- Oh, Zeke! Where are you?
- Here I is!
- Get the boots shined?
- Yep!
Well, that's fine. Let's put 'em on.
Dr. Tibbett, will I ever turn white?
'fraid not, Zeke. Why?
Well, I'm never gonna be nothin' else,
except just what I am...only bigger.
Well, what's wrong with
being just what you are?
Just that all the other little boys
around, they can go to parties.
Like the party tonight, 'cause they're
white, and I can't 'cause I'm not.
Listen, Zeke, you don't
go to white folks parties,
I don't go to colored folks parties.
But that makes no real difference.
- Do you understand?
- No, Sir.
Well, Zeke, it's like this...
you know that medicine kit down in my office?
Ya'Sir!
Well, there's black pills in it
and there's white pills in it.
And there both good kinds of pills.
Some people couldn't do without one
kind and some couldn't do without the other.
- Do you understand?
- No, Sir.
Well, I'll put it another way, then.
You know next to that medicine kit,
what hangs in that big frame over the desk?
- Ya'Sir!
- Well, that isn't just about countries.
That's about people...all kinds.
Like black pills, white pills,
red, yellow...all colors.
What that tells us is that all people
can find life, liberty, and happiness.
- Do you understand now?
- No, Sir, not exactly.
Come here, Zeke.
- Did you ever own a quarter?
- No, Sir!
Well, you go down in that office and
learn a little bit of that every day,
and when you get it all learned by
heart, I'm gonna give you this quarter.
- Do you understand that?
- YES, Sir!
- Henry!
- Coming, Dear!
- Now, don't you forget.
- I sure won't.
All right.
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you could hear the...#
- Evenin', Mrs. Carter.
- Good evenin'.
So nice havin' ya'll here. I'm sorry
Jeffrey isn't here to receive ya,
but I asked him to drive
over and pick up Virginia.
He'll be back directly.
Pardon me, Ma'am, the Governor's in the
library and wishes to speak to you.
Oh, yes! Yes! Will you excuse me.
Just make yourselves comfortable.
- Well, I guess we better go inside.
- Yes, Darling...that's what we came for.
Mrs. Randolph, good evenin'.
- Good evenin', Mrs. Martin.
- How do you do.
- How do you do, Mrs. Webster.
- Hello.
There are lots of nice people at this party...
but not many.
#...by the moonlight.#
- May I have this dance?
- Certainly, Norris.
May I have the honor of
the first dance, Pumpkin?
Thank you, Doc.
Oh, what a shame, the dance has already started.
Well, we might as well enjoy what's left of it.
Wait right here, Pumpkins, will ya?
May I cut in, Jeff?
Excuse me, Virginia.
You don't mind, do you, Virginia...thank you.
- Hello, Mary.
- Hello, Jeff.
- Having a good time, Honey?
- I am now.
Pardon me, may I cut in?
- May I cut in, Bessie?
- Oh, Darlin'.
- Do you mind?
- No, not at all.
Thank ya.
Right after this is over?
Zenobia! You listen to me. Get over here.
Hey! Hey! That's bad luck! Come back!
Zenobia! Come... Oh...
Zenobia, Baby, listen!
And now I have a little surprise for you.
There's someone here with a lovely voice.
I'm gonna ask her to sing a little refrain.
Our guest of honor, Mary Tibbett.
- Doc, I can't.
- Even if you can't, Pumpkins, do it anyway.
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you can hear those darkies singing.#
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you can hear those banjos ringing.#
#How the old folks would enjoy it,#
#They would sit all night and listen.#
#And we sang in the evening,#
#by the moonlight.#
- Mary, Darling! You were wonderful!
- Thank you, Jeffrey.
Virginia, my smellin' salts!
- What's a matter with everybody?
- I don't know.
- Why, Henry, I didn't know this was a masquerade.
- Masquerade?
- Look.
- Why, it's no ma...
Bessie, I think we better be
going home...you're getting tired.
- Why, Darling, I'm not tired.
- Come on, Bessie.
Good night, everyone.
It's been a lovely time.
Put me down, I tell you! Put me down!
Put me...
Somebody do somethin' for poor Henry!
Elephant! You put my Henry down!
Ah-HA! So there you are...the both of you!
- Listen here, you can't steal my elephant!
- But she was a patient!
- I treated her!
- I'll have you arrested!
I'll take this matter right into court!
- Yes, it's about time somebody did something.
- Yeah!
- I'll sue you!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- No!
No! Yeah! Here we are!
I'll go tell the sheriff.
- Oh, hurry, Darling!
- I certainly will!
Darlin', don't worry, everything's
gonna turn out all right.
I hope so, Mother.
I'm sure nothin' else could POSSIBLY happen.
Henry, Look!
Henry, how could ya?
You've disgraced your daughter,
and your home and your wife and...
well, off-hand I can't
think of anything else.
Bessie, I can explain everything.
Let's go inside.
No, Henry! You should
have more consideration!
You can't just drag
anybody into your home!
Bessie!
- But you don't understand.
- Oh, yes I do.
I may be wrong, but I'm not far from it.
Good night, Dear.
Good night.
Shoo! Scat!
Scat!
Go get it!
If you insist Mrs. Carter.
But in all the years that I've
represented you and your family,
I've never been involved in
quite this sort of procedure.
- We have our reasons, Colonel Culpepper.
- All I'm askin' is ya to do is win this case.
Oh, I'm sure that'll not be difficult.
You remember how I told you to start?
- Oh...uh...in the first place...
- Zenobia and I...
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I get it, I get it.
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Have you drawn up the complaint, Colonel?
Oh, yes, here! I have it right here in my hand.
- Well, he ain't home.
- What! He's not at home!
- No!
- Listen, Sheriff, you've gotta find him.
My whole future depends on that elephant.
And if I...if I...
Look!
What are you waiting here for?
- I guess we better get a new doctor, Ma.
- Looks like it, Pa.
That's the biggest elephant I ever saw.
Steaks! I can get you a nice set
of sirloin steaks today.
I haven't got time for
that now, where's your back door?
Right in the back! Whatsa matter? Whatsa matter?
- Now, don't get excited!
- Excited! Who's excited?!?
- Just keep yourself cool!
- Who isn't cool? I'm always cool!
Stop, Zenobia!
Dr. Tibbett.
Dr. Tibbett!
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
we had...
- Not yet, please.
- Oh, not yet.
- Do you know where the Doctor is?
- I don't know. I'm so worried.
Last time I saw him he hadn't come back yet.
He doesn't seem to
be here, Your Honor.
Well, if he doesn't show up in five minutes
or I'll have to hold him in contempt of court.
- Where's his attorney?
- He's declined counsel, Your Honor.
Jeff, I'm worried.
- Because he's not here?
- No, because of this.
YOUR CONDUCT HIGHLY
UNETHICAL. UNLESS ACQUITTED
YOU WILL BE DROPPED
FROM MEDICAL ASSOCIATION.
Why! They couldn't do this to him,
it isn't HIS fault.
They will anyway. Look at the way the people
in the town are acting toward him already.
Your Honor, may we proceed?
Clerk, call the defendant once more.
Dr. Tibbett.
Did someone call me?
We'll have no levity in this courtroom!
Dr. Tibbett...
I'm surprised at your lack
of consideration for this Court.
- You will please come in here at once!
- But, Your Honor, I can't.
Dr. Tibbett, you will do as you're ordered!
All right...if you insist.
- Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
- Whoa! I'll tell you when to start.
It hardly seems necessary for me to request
you...to take that..that thing out of here.
All right! But I'll have to
take out myself with it.
I can't conduct the
case without the defendant.
What about going outside and
looking through the window?
Very unusual, but I suppose
under the circumstances...
Thank you, Your Honor.
You may proceed with your witness.
- Ready?
- Ready!
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Here I am, Your Honor.
- What are you waiting for?
- Proceed.
Well, in the first place,
Zenobia and I have been together
ever since she was a teeny,
weenie little baby, 35 or 40 years old.
Why! Huh! We were like this together,
until that scoundrel came between us.
You can't say that about Henry Tibbett!
Why, he's the dearest, most unscoundrely...
Well, he is anyway.
Take that elephant out of this
courtroom and go back where you belong!
But, Your Honor, my reputation is at
stake, and that man is maligning me.
Instruct your client to be
more careful in his language.
Thank you.
- You may continue.
- Oh.
- Well, in the first place, Zenobia and....
- Wait a minute, start where you left off.
Oh! Yes.
Well, it all began when Zenobia got a kink...
- A kink!?!
- Well...ah...it had an unfortunate entanglement.
Anyway, the poor thing was ill,
and I had to do something.
So I summoned that
small minion over there,
I sent him on an errand of mercy,
little knowing what lay in store for me.
Little knowing I was
about to lose the elephant
that worked side by side
with me all these years.
The elephant who had helped me sell the
priceless product of my life's efforts.
A remedy that I brought at the risk of life
and limb from the teaming jungles of Borneo,
and the burning Sands of the Sahara...
- Step up, approach me, Ladies and gentlemen.
- We're not interested in your medicine.
Ah! But you haven't tried it, Your Honor.
Please accept this with the
compliments of J. Thorndike McCrackle.
- Stick to the facts...Professor.
- Oh, yes! Yes, the facts, you're right.
Well, in the first place...
That's all, Professor.
Does the defense wish
to question the witness?
Just one question, Your Honor.
Professor, who's putting up the
money to pay for your attorney?
- Why...
- I object!
Objection sustained.
That's all I wanted to ask.
- Call the next witness.
- Mrs. Henry Tibbett.
Mrs. Henry Tibbett!
- Am I finished?
- Yes, in a minute.
Be careful, Mother, don't
let him get you confused.
Confused? Me? Ridiculous!
Do you swear to tell about the testimony
you are about to give in this case
now pending before this court
is the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but
the truth, so help you God.
I do.
Mrs. Tibbett, where were you
on the night of April 29?
Many-time, twenty-nine. Oh! I remember! I
was at that party that Mrs. Carter gave for Mary!
Where were you?
Well, that night I was feelin' bored with myself...
That has nothin' to do with it!
Is it true that after the party at Mrs. Carter's
you refused to let your husband into the house?
Well, that is because...
The witness will restrict
herself to answering questions.
All right, Your Honor.
Is it or is it not true that you
locked your husband out of the house?
Well, lots of times a wife has a
perfectly good reason for what she does.
Do you mean to say your wife
never locked YOU out of the house?
Well, only once, and that was when...
Mrs. Tibbett, have you and your
husband ever quarreled before?
Why, no! We get along VERY well.
Course there's no married
couple in the world
that doesn't have a LITTLE
family squabble now and then.
Why, John, I'm sure even you and your wife
have had a little tiff at some time or other.
Well, as a matter of fact, last night
the wife and I had the darndest fight...
- Are you through with the witness?
- Yes, Sir, Your Honor.
Has the defense any
questions to ask the witness?
Do you love me, Bessie?
Henry, of course I do.
That's all, Your Honor.
Mrs. Tibbett, you will
kindly leave the witness chair.
Oh, do you want to sit here?
Yes, thank you.
Of course not!
Your Honor, may I call the next witness?
You certainly may.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Mary, I..I had no idea.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Goodbye, John.
...about to give in the case now
pending before this court is the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?
I do.
Mr. Carter, have you ever seen the elephant
show great affection for Dr. Tibbett?
Please answer the question, Mr. Carter.
Yes...
On the night of your mother's party,
did you see the elephant follow
Dr. Tibbett into your house?
We're waiting, Mr. Carter.
Yes, I did.
Did the appearance of the
elephant cause your mother
great anguish and humiliation?
Please answer. Yes or no?
Yes.
Gentlemen of the jury,
it's obvious from the testimony of Mr. Carter... ...
Did you see manner in which the defendant
has stolen the affection of this elephant,
as well as the sorrow which
has resulted from his debt?
Your Honor, may I interrupt
to ask one question?
What is it, Dr. Tibbett?
What is the penalty in this state for
stealing the affections of an elephant?
The penalty in this state
for stealing an elephant...
is...ah...ah...
Well...ah...ah...
The...ah...ah...
The..the...the penalty...
the penalty is... ... ... ... ...
As a matter of fact...
this court declares a recess for a
half hour while it digests the evidence.
Court adjourned.
Anyway, I don't like the way
everybody's actin', I'm awfully upset.
Now, don't worry, Mother,
this'll work out somehow.
Well, I'll run home and get you an nice
cool drink. And some hay for the elephant.
Mary, Mary, Darling, I'm terribly sorry.
But what else could I do?
I guess you're right.
I guess there's nothin'
else you know HOW to do.
Maybe from now on you'd better speak
to you mother and forget all about me.
- Did pretty well, didn't I?
- You were TERRIBLE.
Terrible? I don't think so.
It only took me...
Quick! Come on!
Imagine! Pitchin' horseshoes as
though nothing were the matter.
If I were he, I'd be havin'
a nervous breakdown.
Better hang onto that horseshoe, Doc,
you may need it for luck.
George, you never do anything to be ashamed of,
you don't have to worry about being lucky.
Ringed it, Dr. Tibbett!
- Doc, can I see ya a minute?
- Why sure, Jeff.
- Ah, take my place, Billy.
- Sure, Doc.
- What's the matter, Son.
- Doc, I...I'm all mixed-up.
I keep tryin' to figure this
thing out, but it just doesn't add up.
Something go wrong between you and Mary?
I guess she thinks I listen to other
people and do what they want to do,
instead of what I want to do.
- And what do YOU think?
- I don't know WHAT to think.
- Come here, Zeke.
- Ya'Sir.
Once I promised you a quarter
if you'd learn something.
Ya'Sir!
- Do you want to earn that quarter now?
- Ya'Sir.
Declaration of Independence,
in Congress, July 4th, 1776
"When, in the course of human events,"
"it becomes necessary for one
people to dissolve the political bands"
"which has connected them with another"
"and to assume among the powers of the Earth,"
"the separate and equal stations,
to which the laws of nature"
"and of nature's God entitle them."
"a decent respect to the opinions of mankind."
"requires that they should declare the
causes which impel them to the separation."
"We hold these truths go be self-evident,"
"that all men are created equal,"
"that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable rights,"
"that among these are life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness."
"That to secure these rights,
governments are instituted among men,"
"deriving their just powers
from the consent of the governed."
"That whenever any form of government
becomes destructive of these ends,"
"it is the right of the people
to alter or to abolish it"
"and to institute new government,
laying its foundation on such principles"
"and organizing its powers in such form,"
"as to them shall seem most likely to
effect their safety and happiness."
"Prudence, indeed, will
dictate that governments long"
"established should not be changed
for light and transient causes;"
"and accordingly all experience hath shown
that mankind are more disposed to suffer,"
"while evils are sufferable,"
"than to right themselves by abolishing the
forms to which they are accustomed."
"But when a long train
of abuses and usurpations,"
"pursuing invariably the same object"
"evinces a design to reduce
them under absolute despotism,"
"it is their right, it is their duty,
to throw off such government"
"and to provide new guards
for their future security."
- Do I get my quarter now?
- You bet you do!
There.
Oh! Thank you, Sir.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Mother, I'm not going
back on the witness stand.
- But, Jeffrey!
- You see, I'm going to marry Mary.
If she'll still have me after this.
I don't want to hurt you, Mother.
So...so, I won't say what I'm thinkin'.
But from now on I'm gonna live my
own life, the way I want to live it.
I'm sorry, Mother.
The Court is about to convene.
The Court is now in session.
Recall the witness.
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
My son isn't comin' back.
If Your Honor so pleases, I should like
to call the next witness, Mrs. Carter.
- Proceed.
- Mrs. Carter.
Your Honor...
You will please take the
witness stand and be sworn in.
I'd rather say what I
have to say from here.
This is a little irregular, Mrs. Carter.
I'll reimburse Professor McCrackle
for any damages he may have suffered.
I guess I've been very selfish.
Even though it made a
lot of people miserable
I've always taken exactly what I wanted.
I almost ruined my own son's happiness.
This is the first time I've ever
thought about anybody else.
I...I'm sorry.
- Emily, Emily, don't feel like that.
- Thank you, My Dear.
Case...dismissed.
- Oh, I'm so glad to see ya.
- Good evening.
Is...is...is everything all ready?
Oh, yes, we've been ready
for hours, just go in.
Oh, Henry, Henry.
Oh, good evenin', just go in, won't ya.
Zero, have you seen the Doctor?
Not since dinnertime...
'bout early this mornin'
He'll have a time with his jacket.
- Is she all right, Doctor?
- She's getting along fine.
- Oh, wonderful.
- You have nothing to worry about.
Oh, thank you, Doctor, thanks.
I... ... ...
My daughter's waiting!
Emily, be careful! Your hydrophobia!
Heart, you know.
Heart?!?
There's nothin' the matter with my heart.
Of course there isn't, Darlin'.
Well, to work, to work, to work, to work.
To work, to work, to work, to work.
- Do I look all right?
- Oh, you look lovely.
I remembers when I was a bride.
I wish I could forget it, though.
I wonder where Henry is.
Whatsa matter, Doctor,
is the elephant chasing ya?
No! And she won't chase me anymore.
But she sure needed me.
There's just one thing, Young Lady...
What's that?
I don't believe in long engagements.
Neither do I.
Now, I may be wrong, but I never did believe
in long engagements, and I always will.
- Oh, Mother. Mother.
- Darling.
- Isn't it wonderful?
- Oh, isn't it lovely?
It looks just like the one your
father ALMOST gave me.
I beg your pardon Mrs. Tibbett, but don't you
think I better speak to your husband about this?
Why, yes, Jeffrey, I think that
would be a good idea.
Zero! Zero!
Ma'am, Mizz Tibbett?
Zero, come here!
Yes, 'am. This knife keeps slippin' and fallin'...
Zero, run down to the village and tell
Dr. Tibbett to come home right away.
- Yes, 'am.
- Wait a minute.
Tell him Mrs. Carter's comin' to dinner.
- You will invite your mother, won't you?
- Yes, of course.
Wait a minute!
Now, let me see. What was the other
thing I wanted to tell you to tell him?
Uh...I don't know. Ma'am...there...Mizz Tibbett...
About the engagement.
Oh, yes, of course. Tell him Mr. Jeffrey wants
to ask his permission to marry Miss Mary.
You got that all straight?
Yes, 'am, but...not exactly...
Well, that's just fine, now run along.
Yes, 'am
And please hurry, because
I've got a million things to do.
Well, to work, to work, to work, to work.
Don't folks know you can get places,
most places without so much hurryin'?
Get outta my way, Boy, don't
you see I'm on business.
It's a boy.
And you just take it easy and relax, Mr. Dover,
and in a few days you'll be yourself again.
A boy, Doctor. I still can't believe it.
- Well, if at first you...
- Oh, by the way, Doctor, ah...
About your bill...
- I'll pay it at just as soon as...
- Never mind, Mr. Dover.
This one's on me.
- Well, good day.
- Good day.
- Dr. Tibbett, Sir.
- Whatsa matter, Zero?
Mizz Tibbett's saying...house...
it's powerful important.
- Get in the buggy.
- Yes, Sir.
- I got done following Mizz Tibbett... ... ...
- What was wrong?
It was somethin' 'bout... ... ... ...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
- What happened to your arm?
- Trying...knife...
Well, is there somebody sick?
No...uh...never said medicine...
Well, was there a fire?
- No, Sir, there's no firemens there...
- Can you think of what's wrong?
Yes, Sir, I KNOW what's wrong, but...
I just can't remember, Doctor.
And I remember so much...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Well, never mind, we're home now
and I can find out for myself.
Yes, Sir.
Bessie! Oh, Bessie!
Bessie, are you all right?
Fine, thank you, Henry! How are you?
But, what about Mary, is she all right?
Why, she's just fine, Henry.
- But, Bessie!
- Yes, Dear?
Zero told me...
Mary, how does the upstairs look?
It's all finished, Mother. Just sit
down and stop worrying, Dear.
- Oh, Dad, isn't it all exciting?
- Isn't WHAT exciting?
Where do these flowers go, Mary?
Right in that vase, Mother,
that's where I just put them.
Oh, well, you know how to do it, then.
Mary, what's all this excitement about?
Zero, where's that silver polish?
Polish is uh...
- Mary, wait a minute...
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- Where's the silver polish?
Never mind, I've got it.
Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy. Aren't you?
Dehlia! Come out of that oven and
tell me what's going on in this house!
I'z sorry, Dr. Tibbett, I got so much work
to do, and Mizz Tibbett told me directly
that I wasn't to talk to
nobody, not even to myself.
But what I'm trying to find out is...
Zeke, don't let me catch you
messin' with this here pie, ya hear me?
Dehlia, what I want to know is...
I'z sorry, Doctor, but Mizz
Tibbett done give me strict orders.
Can't find out anything around here.
Nobody wants to tell you what's going on.
Ain't nothin' much going
on here, exceptin' a weddin'.
- Wedding?
- Yes, Sir.
- Who's gettin' married?
- Miss Mary.
- My daughter?
- Yes, Sir!
Oh, Mary! Oh, Mary! Mary! Mary!
Oh, Mary, I want to talk to you.
I beg your pardon, Dr. Tibbett,
there's something I wanted to ask you.
- Can't stop now, Jeff!
- But Doctor, I...
I'm sorry, Jeff, not right now,
I...I...this is very important.
But this is pretty important, too, Sir.
Ah, you'll have to see me later,
Jeff, I want to talk to Mary.
But that's just it, I want to marry 'er.
That's fine, Son.
What?
- YOU wanna marry her?
- Yes, Sir!
If it's all right with you, Sir.
Why, sure. Sure, it's all right with me.
If it's all right with you...Pumpkin.
It's all right with me...Doc.
Bessie!
Now, Henry!
Don't stand there and shout at me!
I'm busy! I haven't time!
But...but, they're
going to get married!
Of course they are, that's
what I've been telln' you.
But...but, Bessie, this is the
finest piece of news I've ever heard.
It's wonderful! And we'll drink
a toast to it right now!
Ah...Bessie, where is that
bottle of real old sherry?
Oh, I threw that OLD sherry
away. I have some nice NEW
sherry. I'll show you right
where it is in the kitchen.
Unless I put it somewhere else.
Oh, Mary, put these flowers in water.
We want everything to look just
right before Mrs. Carter gets here.
Sherry...kitchen.
- Jeff,
- Huh?
Did ya tell her yet?
Mother? I haven't had a chance yet, Honey.
- I figured I'd tell her tonight.
- Well, I'm kinda worried.
You see, you're folks have
always been so important.
And your grandfather and father
both being governors.
And a town named after
your family, and all that.
How's your mother gonna
feel about my family?
I know what you mean, Honey.
But Mom's really not so bad.
She's got a lot of social ideas,
with family stuff, and all that.
She gonna be all right!
I'm the happiest father in
the State of Mississippi.
So 'm I.
- Doctor, ... ... ... ...
- Never mind, ZERO!
... ... I hope I don't forget again.
Jeff, I was just thinking,
how'di't be we don't say
anything to mother tonight
about us getting married.
Why not? I'm sure
she'd be interested, too.
Well, you see, Mother, Mrs. Carter's
always had an idea of Jeff marrying...
well...someone...sort of "social".
Not just some little
ol' country doctor's family.
Well, it isn't as bad as that! I...
Isn't it? So, I thought if we
broke it to her kinda easy....
You know, like Doc does, give it
to her in small doses.
Well, that's a good idea, Jeff!
Back to work, to work, to work, to work.
Well, I guess I'd better
be gettin' along, too.
I'll see ya to the door, Jeff.
Good day, Sir.
Good day.
Now, you're not going to
worry about tonight, Darling,
because everything is gonna
work out just fine, ya hear?
- I hope so, really.
- I know.
Doc, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
I didn't mean what I said about
your being a country doctor.
Well, what did ya mean?
Well, I know you're the finest doctor
this town has ever had.
And you used to be successful.
You took care of all the best families.
Why, Mrs. Carter used to pay you
hundreds of dollars a year, didn't she?
- Yes.
- And one day you insulted her.
Told her she wasn't sick
and didn't need a doctor
and you wouldn't
go back to see her again.
Then she broke her neck.
Didn't ya?!?!
- Yes, but...
- It wasn't only Mrs. Carter.
Ya did the same to everyone else in
town that could really afford a doctor.
And now look at it...
we owe money to everyone.
We don't even own this house...The Bank
owns it. And Mrs. Carter owns The Bank.
Why, we haven't even paid
our servants in over a year.
Actually, I'm so ashamed,
I can't hold my head up.
- I'm sorry, Pumpkins, but...
- I know, Doc, but what's the matter?
What's happened? What is it?
That!
Oh, what's that got to do with it?
When I was sitting here
reading it one day, and I
suddenly discovered that
it had a lot of sense to it.
Especially the part where
it says "All men are created equal,"
"and are entitled to life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness."
I still don't understand.
Aw, Pumpkins, I wasn't happy feeding pink
pills to Mrs. Carter and her rich friends.
I'd rather do something for somebody that needs
a doctor. Even if they can't pay their bills.
And besides, I can't see where any man,
can make a mistake in living-up to
The Declaration of Independence. Can you?
No.
Doc, I guess you're still my favorite father.
Mizz Mary, Mizz Tibbett wants
you in the kitchen right away!
Run along, Pumpkins, your mother needs you.
- I will if you promise me one thing.
- What?
That you won't read it
again until after the wedding.
That's mighty funny, it was
right here ten years ago.
Things certainly do get
mislaid around this house.
Mother, what ARE you looking for?
You remember that cut glass punchbowl, Mary.
The one that we borrowed from
Mrs. Randolph, that she loaned
to Mrs. Smith, after she
borrowed it back from Mrs. Watson.
- I wonder where it is.
- Why, that's OUR punchbowl.
You loaned it to Mrs. Randolph again.
How times fly!
Zeke, you run down, ask
her to lend it to us,
tell her she can borrow it
right back in the morning.
- Yes 'am.
- And hurry back, ya hear!
- Now, what was I lookin' for?
- Bowl, Mizz Tibbett.
Bowl! Oh...oh, yes, I still think it's
down here somewhere. Look in there, Dehlia.
- ...up there.
- I oughta know what's in my own kitchen!
...a remedy that I've brought
you at the risk of life and limb,
through the teaming jungles of Borneo
and across the burning
Sands of the Sahara.
A remedy...A remedy
that I've...I found...
one millionth of a moment...just
one, be right with you.
Ladies and gentlemen, Professor J. Thorndike
McCrackle famous Eastern Indian nerve tonic,
that will make you as strong as an elephant.
I absolutely refuse to sell
one bottle of this remedy,
until I offer you first
a little entertainment.
by that Queen of the Private Herd,
that Sacred Elephant,
ZENOBIA!
Whatsa matter, Babe? Whatsa matter?
Are you sick? Are you sick?
Honk!
Can't you tell me? Aw!
Something's gotta be done! Here! Here!
Here ya are, honey! Here, take this!
C'mon! Take this! C'mon!
Take this, this'll do ya good.
C'mon, drink it right down, Zenobia.
Thatagirl! Are you in pain, huh?
She's never acted like this before. Is...is...is
there a doctor in this town...a good doctor?
Dr. Tibbett, he's a good doctor.
Well, you go get him right quick and I'll
give you a bottle of my tonic for nothing?
- Ya'Sir
- Hurry now!
Dr. Tibbett! Dr. Tibbett!
- Whatsa matter, Zeke?
- She's sick, she's dyin'.
- Who's dyin'? Where?
- Over to the Carnival.
- Come quick! She's a-dyin' fast!
- Well, I better go and help her!
Henry, you can't leave now!
Oh! Mrs. Carter'll be here any minute.
But, Bessie, it's my duty if someone's ill.
Oh, she ain't ill, she's sick.
Goodbye, Dear.
C'mon, Zeke.
- Hurry back, Darling.
- Oh, it won't take me long.
Well, to work, to work,
to work, to work, to work.
- Professor!
- Yes! Yes!
Professor, this is Dr. Tibbett.
- Oh, Doctor, thank goodness you're here.
- Now, what seems to be the matter with her?
Why, I don't know. It's never happened
before in all these years we've been together.
Ah, how old is your wife?
- It's not my wife.
- I beg your pardon, then.
How old is the patient?
Oh...I..I..I'd would say...I'd say
about a hundred and four years.
Hum, unusual. Is she an active person?
How much does she weigh?
Well, I haven't weighed her lately but I'd judge
about six thousand one hundred seventy-two pounds.
Do YOU feel all right?
Why certainly I fell all right!
It isn't me, it's Zenobia.
- Where is she?
- She's in here! C'mon! Hurry up!
Six thousand pounds...
There she is.
Look here, I'm not an elephant doctor.
Oh, well, then, in that case,
I don't think I trust you with Zenobia.
- There's nothing too good for her.
- My dear man, I didn't ask to get that.
Dr. Tibbett, please do something, she's sick.
- Yeah.
- Well, as long as I'm here.
- I'll see what I can do for her.
- Well, that's..that's fine.
It's all right, Baby, this is
the doctor...he'll fix you up.
- Say, "Ah".
- Ah.
- Not you.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
I should've brought the
thermometer from the back porch.
Yeah, she quite a large girl.
Take it easy, Babe, take it easy!
Let see.
- She hasn't got a temperature?
- No.
Oh, thank goodness. Take it easy now.
Down, down, down, don't upset yourself.
What do you hear, Doctor?
WHAT DO YOU HEAR!?!
A salute of 21 guns somewhere!
- Oh, for goodness' sake, what'll we do.
- Well, we must keep her good and warm.
- I wonder how I'll do that.
- Well, That's YOUR problem.
- Oh, yeah. Well...well, say, Doctor...
- Hmm.
- Now, how much do I owe you for this?
- Eh, forget it.
Well, well, thanks. Say, you
know what I'll do for you?
I'll tell everybody in this town what a
fine elephant doctor you turned out to be.
- Thank you.
- It's all right.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
We must keep the elephant OUR little secret.
Understand?
- Good day, then.
- Good day.
Oh, Mary, have you seen your father?
Why mother, you sent Zero for him.
Did I? Well, let's find Zero then
we'll know where your father is.
..............seen him...........
.................hard to see.....
Oh, Zero, this is so upsettin'.
Mrs. Carter'll be arrivin' any minute.
Now, Mother, he'll be here.
He said he would. It'll be all right.
Just so long as he doesn't blurt-out everything
in front of Mrs. Carter, you know how he is.
- Miss Mary.
- Yes, Dehlia.
Oh, maybe we shouldn't have
invited your father tonight.
Here they are! Now...now,
don't...don't be excited!
Everybody be calm! I...I...I'll
answer the door myself.
- Stay right here.
- Yes, Ma'am.
Virginia, my smellin' salts.
- You should answer the door, Zero.
- Yes, Ma'am.
Not...not 'til I say I'm ready.
- Mary! Ready?
- Yes 'am.
- Not yet!
- ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
- I think I'll...
- Oh, Mother, please wait a minute.
It's just some mistake.
Now, don't get yourself all
worked-up, Mrs. Carter.
Thank you, Virginia.
- ...matter, Mother, is anything wrong?
- Everything's just fine, just fine.
You sit here, Darlin', that's right.
Ready!
Yes, 'am.
I beg your pardon Mr. Carter.....
- Good evening, Zero.
- My smellin' salts, Virginia.
Ah, you have them Mrs. Carter...in your hand.
Oh! Yes, yes! Thank you.
Mizz Tibbetts waitin' in the livin' room...
Come along, Dear.
- Good evening.
- Oh, good evening.
Mother, this is Mrs. Carter.
Is it? Oh, yes, I...I'm
so glad you could come.
- You know Virginia Reynolds.
- Of course I do.
- I hope I'm not intruding.
- Not at all, Dear, I'm happy to have you.
- Won't ya'll sit down.
- Oh, thank you, so nice of you.
I knew you wouldn't mind
my bringing Virginia along tonight...
she's company for me.
Why, Mrs. Carter,
I'm delighted. There's nothing like
company when you want somebody with
you...for company.
By the way, where is Dr. Tibbett?
- Mary, why don't you sing something.
- Why, Mother, you know I can't sing very well.
Perhaps Mrs. Carter would
enjoy a nice glass of sherry.
Yes, yes, I think that might help.
I feel one of my migraines coming-on.
- I'll get it for you right away, Mrs. Carter.
- Let me help you.
Oh, Jeff, it's all gone
wrong...the whole thing.
Mother's always that way at
first but she'll thaw-out.
Well, anyway, I'm glad we didn't try
to break the news to her tonight.
So am I.
- Dehlia, is this what you want?
- No, that ain't it.
Umm, if that chicken don't look
good enough to eat...I is!
- No you won't!
- Not even the gizzard?
No. Go over and get me that tureen.
Tureen. Tureen? Dehlia,
tureen is for the soup, ain't it?
Just get it!
.....just a..........
.....tureen.
And when I consulted with a
specialist in Vienna about my nose,
they told me I had the most
unusual case of a tropic rhinitis.
- A sort of a smell blind, you know?
- Smell blind?
Yes, for example, right now I can
almost imagine I smell fried chicken.
Don't you like fried chicken?
Like fried chicken? Why,
it's the worst thing in the
world for a person even
with an ordinary stomach.
Course! That's just the
way I feel about it myself.
Will you excuse me a minute, I
think I hear Dehlia callin' me.
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- Chicken, Dehlia, where's the chicken?
- Right here, Ma'am, don't it look good?
Umm...now that you've
made it, throw it out!
- Throw it out?
Uh-huh!
Zero, run out and get a pig!
- Pig?
- Yes, we're gonna have roast pork.
Make some applesauce and
figs, you know me.
Oh, Mizz Tibbett, you can't just catch
a pig and dress it with roast pork. Is it?
- You run the kitchen, don't ask me.
- Well, go and get the pig.
- ...one of OURS?
- Of COURSE one of ours!
- .......get Hanna.
- Yes, Hanna!
...don't bother nobody...
that's the nicest pigs we got.
A person has to be so careful what they eat,
not something simple like roast pork.
Roast pork?
Roast pork!?!
Of course there's nothin'
worse, you're absolutely right.
Just a minute, I think I
hear Dehlia callin' me again.
I'm always hearin' things.
- Dehlia! Dehlia!
- Yes, 'am?
- The roast pork, where's the roast pork?
- It ain't come yet.
Oh, Dear!
...why...we got...this 'un
all right, Mizz...
Yes, thank you, Henry. Turn him loose.
- Eggs, Dehlia, get some eggs.
- Eggs?
And scramble them. No, all of them.
Mary, while you're down there,
get some sherry, and please hurry.
...get outta here, get that pig
outta this kitchen...get-on out!
- She's very pretty, isn't she.
-Yes, very pretty.
I mean she's so attractive, don't you think?
- Such nice clothes and all.
- Now, listen!
For the hundredth time, I didn't know
Mother was bringing Virginia here tonight.
- I didn't have anything to do with it.
- Oh, but Jeffrey, that's real sad.
I think it's real nice she came along.
Here, let me help you.
After all, as your Mother said, you two
were practically brought-up together.
Now, listen, are you gonna
stop talkin' about Virginia,
or will I have to do somethin' about it?
Oh, Jeffrey, I wasn't takin' about her...
All I said was that...
Are you gonna stop talkin' about her?
Darling, I was only saying
that Virginia was a very...
Did you call me, Mizz Mary?
No, Dehlia.
And this one's Dr. Tibbett and
myself when we were married.
Course we were younger then.
And on our honeymoon
when we went to New York.
On MY last visit to New York I consulted
four doctors about the diffused hepatitis.
You know...liver.
They're all agreed they've
never seen anything like it before.
How nice.
And this one's Mary
when she was a little girl.
Sittin' on my lap...that's me
sittin' right here under her.
Gini, my dear, my...
oh, yes...
Sorry to have been so long but we had
a terrible time finding the sherry.
- Didn't we, Jeff?
- And it was right in the bottle all the time.
Well, here's to you two...
Here's to Spring.
Well, well, well, here we all are.
Hello, Dear.
- Good evening, Mrs. Carter.
- Good evenin'.
I never saw you looking better in your life.
Evidently you disagree with all the
outstanding doctors of this country and Europe.
Henry, what kept you so long, Dear,
was it an important case?
Oh! A big case,
the biggest case I've ever had.
You know, Dr. Tibbett, everyone's been so
mysterious, they haven't told me yet why I'm here.
But that's just it, we weren't
gonna tell you 'til later.
Mother!
Really, Dr. Tibbett, if it's anything
concerning YOUR daughter and MY son.
Mother...Mary and I are going to get married.
Why! That's impossible!
And just exactly why is it impossible!?!
What's the matter with us?
Well, My Dear, there's a slight
difference in family backgrounds.
Mrs. Carter, I happen to like my family.
Jeffrey! We're leavin' this house immediately!
I absolutely forbid this marriage!
I'm sorry, Mother, but we're
gonna get married anyway.
Oh...oh, my heart.
- Mary, I'd better take Mother home.
- Yes, I guess you had.
- Come along, Mother.
- Oh, Jeffrey. Oh, Jeffrey.
Oh, my heart, Jeffrey.
- Henry, do something!
- There's nothing TO DO!
It isn't her heart, Bessie!
It's US!
Dinner is now bein' served.
The dining...is...everybody was here just now.
MRS. J. MORTIMER CARTER REQUESTS
THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY AT A
RECEPTION IN THE HOME OF MISS MARY TIBBITT.
Mary Tibbett!
She's so disgustingly healthy.
- I know, Mrs. Carter.
- And such an ordinary person.
Yes, but Jeffrey's got to
find THAT out for himself.
- Now, I wonder how...
- Didn't Mary say she couldn't sing very well?
Why, yes! Yes, I remember.
Oh...
WITH MUSIC.
"In honor of Miss Mary Tibbett."
- Oh, Darling, I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you, Mother.
- It's mighty nice of Mrs. Carter to want us.
- Well, of course she wants us, Daddy.
I knew she'd come around. It was just the
shock when she heard the good news.
Music! Oh, it's no use my going...
I can't play a note.
Why, Bessie!
Remember?
- Well, maybe if we practiced a little.
- All right!
- Ready?
- Uh-huh.
#I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls...#
- I'm sorry, Darlin'.
- Let's try it again, Dear. Ready?
#I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls...#
- 'scuse me...gentleman...
- Tell him I'll see him in a few minutes.
Ah, Doctor...it's about my baby.
Music, Bessie, music!
Oh, yes, of course. I'll be right back.
- Will you go away?
- But, Doctor!
I've been up all night with her...
just pacing the floor...
pacing, pacing, pacing the floor.
- ...foot bath.
- We're not going to have any more guesswork.
We're going to do this
thing scientifically.
Well, now, listen, the old fashioned
remedy, you know, works pretty good.
If you don't mind, we're going to make a
thorough examination from beginning to end.
- Well, where are you going to start?
- We're going to start at the bottom and work up.
We're going to sub-divide her into zones.
- Zones!?!
- Yes!
Now, this will be zone one!
Mark her!
Now, this is zone two!
Now, the head will be zone three!
Now, zone four...
well, we'll get to that later.
Now, you hold that!
Now, will you have her
raise her pedal extremity?
Her what?
- Hoof!
- Oh! Her foot...sure!
Come on, Baby, raise your tootsie!
Her reflexes are all right.
Hold this, please.
Sounds very much like a bass drum.
Now for the heart.
I really don't think there's
anything wrong with her heart.
- Come on out! Come on!
- Keep quiet! I'm trying to listen to her heart!
Yeah, but you better come out, come out quick!
How can I hear anything when you keep talking?!?
I know! I know! But you don't know!
Will you get out of here
and let me alone, please!
Oh! Oh! You better come out!
You better come out!
She see her..she see...she sees the
M-O-U-S-E
Come ou...No, wait...no,
no..wait...no, no...wait...
No, no, no, Zenobia, Zenobia, don't you...
...up, up, Zenobia, get up...get up,
Zenobia, will you get up outta there...
You're on the Doctor...get up! Get...
There! Now! It's gone!
Will you get up!?! Get up! That's it!
Get...Stay up there!
I told you to come out!
I never had a patient do that to me before!
That's the last straw!
No, no, no! No! You can't go! You can't!
You can't go away and leave a poor,
dumb animal to suffer like that!
Have you no conscience?
Have you no...no feeling?
Have you...no pride?
Well, all right, maybe you're right.
I got myself into it, I'll finish it.
I guarantee she won't sit on you again...
I hope.
- Oh, Doctor, how is her heart?
- Perfect.
Oh, that's good.
Ah, let me have your trunk.
The trunk, Baby, that's it.
- Oh! Oh!
- Well, anyway! That isn't stopped up!
I'm...I'm...I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm sorry.
- Would you mind getting me that ladder?
- Oh, sure! Oh, sure, Doctor, sure.
A ladder...a ladder...
an elephant can't climb a ladder.
- I'm going to climb the ladder.
- Oh! Oh, yeah.
- Stand still!
- I'm doing the best I can!
Oh! I don't mean you, I mean Zenobia.
Back! Back! Back, Zenobia!
Back! Back!
This is a fine state of affairs!
But Zenobia, this is for your own good!
Back! Back! Back! Back, Zenobia! Back!
Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor.
It'll never happen again.
Oh! A touch a alopecia generalis.
- What's that?
- A slight touch of baldness...but it's nothing.
- Maybe she's deaf.
- Say! That's possible.
- Hello!
- Hello, how are you?
I'm fine.
HELLO!!
Well, she's not deaf!
Oh, that's fine, Doctor. Now, you stop
your playing! Do you understand!?!
This thing has got me stumped.
Yes! Me, too!
Say! Has an elephant got a knot in its tail?
- Aw! No! Why?
- Oh, nothing.
Now, I wonder who did that.
Look! She feels better already!
Well, you won't have to
worry with her anymore.
Thanks, Doctor, you did a great job.
- What's that for?
- Oh, don't worry about that, that's nothing.
She always does that when
she wants to pick me up.
Come on, Baby, up we go! Up!
Oh! Oh, no! No, no, no! Stop!
Aw, doctor, that's just her way
of showing gratitude. She like ya!
I like her, too, but I wouldn't do this to her.
Tell her to put me down!
Oh, all right! Zenobia, let him down!
Put him down! Put him down!
Say, Doctor, I don't know how I'll
ever re-pay you for what you've done.
Never mind the pay! I never want to see
you and that elephant again as long as I live.
But she'll always remember.
Remember, an elephant never forgets.
Yes! But I'm NOT an elephant!
No.
Well, not exactly.
Back! Back, back, back, Zenobia! Back!
Zenobia! Zenobia, you come back here,
come back and get to bed!
Zenobia, you know this climate
is not good for you.
Honey, you're gonna be the prettiest
girl at the whole reception tonight.
Thank you, Dehlia, now please hurry.
Hurry! I've been hurryin' for
the last two hours!
- Oh, Zeke! Where are you?
- Here I is!
- Get the boots shined?
- Yep!
Well, that's fine. Let's put 'em on.
Dr. Tibbett, will I ever turn white?
'fraid not, Zeke. Why?
Well, I'm never gonna be nothin' else,
except just what I am...only bigger.
Well, what's wrong with
being just what you are?
Just that all the other little boys
around, they can go to parties.
Like the party tonight, 'cause they're
white, and I can't 'cause I'm not.
Listen, Zeke, you don't
go to white folks parties,
I don't go to colored folks parties.
But that makes no real difference.
- Do you understand?
- No, Sir.
Well, Zeke, it's like this...
you know that medicine kit down in my office?
Ya'Sir!
Well, there's black pills in it
and there's white pills in it.
And there both good kinds of pills.
Some people couldn't do without one
kind and some couldn't do without the other.
- Do you understand?
- No, Sir.
Well, I'll put it another way, then.
You know next to that medicine kit,
what hangs in that big frame over the desk?
- Ya'Sir!
- Well, that isn't just about countries.
That's about people...all kinds.
Like black pills, white pills,
red, yellow...all colors.
What that tells us is that all people
can find life, liberty, and happiness.
- Do you understand now?
- No, Sir, not exactly.
Come here, Zeke.
- Did you ever own a quarter?
- No, Sir!
Well, you go down in that office and
learn a little bit of that every day,
and when you get it all learned by
heart, I'm gonna give you this quarter.
- Do you understand that?
- YES, Sir!
- Henry!
- Coming, Dear!
- Now, don't you forget.
- I sure won't.
All right.
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you could hear the...#
- Evenin', Mrs. Carter.
- Good evenin'.
So nice havin' ya'll here. I'm sorry
Jeffrey isn't here to receive ya,
but I asked him to drive
over and pick up Virginia.
He'll be back directly.
Pardon me, Ma'am, the Governor's in the
library and wishes to speak to you.
Oh, yes! Yes! Will you excuse me.
Just make yourselves comfortable.
- Well, I guess we better go inside.
- Yes, Darling...that's what we came for.
Mrs. Randolph, good evenin'.
- Good evenin', Mrs. Martin.
- How do you do.
- How do you do, Mrs. Webster.
- Hello.
There are lots of nice people at this party...
but not many.
#...by the moonlight.#
- May I have this dance?
- Certainly, Norris.
May I have the honor of
the first dance, Pumpkin?
Thank you, Doc.
Oh, what a shame, the dance has already started.
Well, we might as well enjoy what's left of it.
Wait right here, Pumpkins, will ya?
May I cut in, Jeff?
Excuse me, Virginia.
You don't mind, do you, Virginia...thank you.
- Hello, Mary.
- Hello, Jeff.
- Having a good time, Honey?
- I am now.
Pardon me, may I cut in?
- May I cut in, Bessie?
- Oh, Darlin'.
- Do you mind?
- No, not at all.
Thank ya.
Right after this is over?
Zenobia! You listen to me. Get over here.
Hey! Hey! That's bad luck! Come back!
Zenobia! Come... Oh...
Zenobia, Baby, listen!
And now I have a little surprise for you.
There's someone here with a lovely voice.
I'm gonna ask her to sing a little refrain.
Our guest of honor, Mary Tibbett.
- Doc, I can't.
- Even if you can't, Pumpkins, do it anyway.
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you can hear those darkies singing.#
#In the evening by the moonlight,#
#you can hear those banjos ringing.#
#How the old folks would enjoy it,#
#They would sit all night and listen.#
#And we sang in the evening,#
#by the moonlight.#
- Mary, Darling! You were wonderful!
- Thank you, Jeffrey.
Virginia, my smellin' salts!
- What's a matter with everybody?
- I don't know.
- Why, Henry, I didn't know this was a masquerade.
- Masquerade?
- Look.
- Why, it's no ma...
Bessie, I think we better be
going home...you're getting tired.
- Why, Darling, I'm not tired.
- Come on, Bessie.
Good night, everyone.
It's been a lovely time.
Put me down, I tell you! Put me down!
Put me...
Somebody do somethin' for poor Henry!
Elephant! You put my Henry down!
Ah-HA! So there you are...the both of you!
- Listen here, you can't steal my elephant!
- But she was a patient!
- I treated her!
- I'll have you arrested!
I'll take this matter right into court!
- Yes, it's about time somebody did something.
- Yeah!
- I'll sue you!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- No!
No! Yeah! Here we are!
I'll go tell the sheriff.
- Oh, hurry, Darling!
- I certainly will!
Darlin', don't worry, everything's
gonna turn out all right.
I hope so, Mother.
I'm sure nothin' else could POSSIBLY happen.
Henry, Look!
Henry, how could ya?
You've disgraced your daughter,
and your home and your wife and...
well, off-hand I can't
think of anything else.
Bessie, I can explain everything.
Let's go inside.
No, Henry! You should
have more consideration!
You can't just drag
anybody into your home!
Bessie!
- But you don't understand.
- Oh, yes I do.
I may be wrong, but I'm not far from it.
Good night, Dear.
Good night.
Shoo! Scat!
Scat!
Go get it!
If you insist Mrs. Carter.
But in all the years that I've
represented you and your family,
I've never been involved in
quite this sort of procedure.
- We have our reasons, Colonel Culpepper.
- All I'm askin' is ya to do is win this case.
Oh, I'm sure that'll not be difficult.
You remember how I told you to start?
- Oh...uh...in the first place...
- Zenobia and I...
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I get it, I get it.
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Have you drawn up the complaint, Colonel?
Oh, yes, here! I have it right here in my hand.
- Well, he ain't home.
- What! He's not at home!
- No!
- Listen, Sheriff, you've gotta find him.
My whole future depends on that elephant.
And if I...if I...
Look!
What are you waiting here for?
- I guess we better get a new doctor, Ma.
- Looks like it, Pa.
That's the biggest elephant I ever saw.
Steaks! I can get you a nice set
of sirloin steaks today.
I haven't got time for
that now, where's your back door?
Right in the back! Whatsa matter? Whatsa matter?
- Now, don't get excited!
- Excited! Who's excited?!?
- Just keep yourself cool!
- Who isn't cool? I'm always cool!
Stop, Zenobia!
Dr. Tibbett.
Dr. Tibbett!
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
we had...
- Not yet, please.
- Oh, not yet.
- Do you know where the Doctor is?
- I don't know. I'm so worried.
Last time I saw him he hadn't come back yet.
He doesn't seem to
be here, Your Honor.
Well, if he doesn't show up in five minutes
or I'll have to hold him in contempt of court.
- Where's his attorney?
- He's declined counsel, Your Honor.
Jeff, I'm worried.
- Because he's not here?
- No, because of this.
YOUR CONDUCT HIGHLY
UNETHICAL. UNLESS ACQUITTED
YOU WILL BE DROPPED
FROM MEDICAL ASSOCIATION.
Why! They couldn't do this to him,
it isn't HIS fault.
They will anyway. Look at the way the people
in the town are acting toward him already.
Your Honor, may we proceed?
Clerk, call the defendant once more.
Dr. Tibbett.
Did someone call me?
We'll have no levity in this courtroom!
Dr. Tibbett...
I'm surprised at your lack
of consideration for this Court.
- You will please come in here at once!
- But, Your Honor, I can't.
Dr. Tibbett, you will do as you're ordered!
All right...if you insist.
- Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
- Whoa! I'll tell you when to start.
It hardly seems necessary for me to request
you...to take that..that thing out of here.
All right! But I'll have to
take out myself with it.
I can't conduct the
case without the defendant.
What about going outside and
looking through the window?
Very unusual, but I suppose
under the circumstances...
Thank you, Your Honor.
You may proceed with your witness.
- Ready?
- Ready!
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Here I am, Your Honor.
- What are you waiting for?
- Proceed.
Well, in the first place,
Zenobia and I have been together
ever since she was a teeny,
weenie little baby, 35 or 40 years old.
Why! Huh! We were like this together,
until that scoundrel came between us.
You can't say that about Henry Tibbett!
Why, he's the dearest, most unscoundrely...
Well, he is anyway.
Take that elephant out of this
courtroom and go back where you belong!
But, Your Honor, my reputation is at
stake, and that man is maligning me.
Instruct your client to be
more careful in his language.
Thank you.
- You may continue.
- Oh.
- Well, in the first place, Zenobia and....
- Wait a minute, start where you left off.
Oh! Yes.
Well, it all began when Zenobia got a kink...
- A kink!?!
- Well...ah...it had an unfortunate entanglement.
Anyway, the poor thing was ill,
and I had to do something.
So I summoned that
small minion over there,
I sent him on an errand of mercy,
little knowing what lay in store for me.
Little knowing I was
about to lose the elephant
that worked side by side
with me all these years.
The elephant who had helped me sell the
priceless product of my life's efforts.
A remedy that I brought at the risk of life
and limb from the teaming jungles of Borneo,
and the burning Sands of the Sahara...
- Step up, approach me, Ladies and gentlemen.
- We're not interested in your medicine.
Ah! But you haven't tried it, Your Honor.
Please accept this with the
compliments of J. Thorndike McCrackle.
- Stick to the facts...Professor.
- Oh, yes! Yes, the facts, you're right.
Well, in the first place...
That's all, Professor.
Does the defense wish
to question the witness?
Just one question, Your Honor.
Professor, who's putting up the
money to pay for your attorney?
- Why...
- I object!
Objection sustained.
That's all I wanted to ask.
- Call the next witness.
- Mrs. Henry Tibbett.
Mrs. Henry Tibbett!
- Am I finished?
- Yes, in a minute.
Be careful, Mother, don't
let him get you confused.
Confused? Me? Ridiculous!
Do you swear to tell about the testimony
you are about to give in this case
now pending before this court
is the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but
the truth, so help you God.
I do.
Mrs. Tibbett, where were you
on the night of April 29?
Many-time, twenty-nine. Oh! I remember! I
was at that party that Mrs. Carter gave for Mary!
Where were you?
Well, that night I was feelin' bored with myself...
That has nothin' to do with it!
Is it true that after the party at Mrs. Carter's
you refused to let your husband into the house?
Well, that is because...
The witness will restrict
herself to answering questions.
All right, Your Honor.
Is it or is it not true that you
locked your husband out of the house?
Well, lots of times a wife has a
perfectly good reason for what she does.
Do you mean to say your wife
never locked YOU out of the house?
Well, only once, and that was when...
Mrs. Tibbett, have you and your
husband ever quarreled before?
Why, no! We get along VERY well.
Course there's no married
couple in the world
that doesn't have a LITTLE
family squabble now and then.
Why, John, I'm sure even you and your wife
have had a little tiff at some time or other.
Well, as a matter of fact, last night
the wife and I had the darndest fight...
- Are you through with the witness?
- Yes, Sir, Your Honor.
Has the defense any
questions to ask the witness?
Do you love me, Bessie?
Henry, of course I do.
That's all, Your Honor.
Mrs. Tibbett, you will
kindly leave the witness chair.
Oh, do you want to sit here?
Yes, thank you.
Of course not!
Your Honor, may I call the next witness?
You certainly may.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Mary, I..I had no idea.
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
Goodbye, John.
...about to give in the case now
pending before this court is the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?
I do.
Mr. Carter, have you ever seen the elephant
show great affection for Dr. Tibbett?
Please answer the question, Mr. Carter.
Yes...
On the night of your mother's party,
did you see the elephant follow
Dr. Tibbett into your house?
We're waiting, Mr. Carter.
Yes, I did.
Did the appearance of the
elephant cause your mother
great anguish and humiliation?
Please answer. Yes or no?
Yes.
Gentlemen of the jury,
it's obvious from the testimony of Mr. Carter... ...
Did you see manner in which the defendant
has stolen the affection of this elephant,
as well as the sorrow which
has resulted from his debt?
Your Honor, may I interrupt
to ask one question?
What is it, Dr. Tibbett?
What is the penalty in this state for
stealing the affections of an elephant?
The penalty in this state
for stealing an elephant...
is...ah...ah...
Well...ah...ah...
The...ah...ah...
The..the...the penalty...
the penalty is... ... ... ... ...
As a matter of fact...
this court declares a recess for a
half hour while it digests the evidence.
Court adjourned.
Anyway, I don't like the way
everybody's actin', I'm awfully upset.
Now, don't worry, Mother,
this'll work out somehow.
Well, I'll run home and get you an nice
cool drink. And some hay for the elephant.
Mary, Mary, Darling, I'm terribly sorry.
But what else could I do?
I guess you're right.
I guess there's nothin'
else you know HOW to do.
Maybe from now on you'd better speak
to you mother and forget all about me.
- Did pretty well, didn't I?
- You were TERRIBLE.
Terrible? I don't think so.
It only took me...
Quick! Come on!
Imagine! Pitchin' horseshoes as
though nothing were the matter.
If I were he, I'd be havin'
a nervous breakdown.
Better hang onto that horseshoe, Doc,
you may need it for luck.
George, you never do anything to be ashamed of,
you don't have to worry about being lucky.
Ringed it, Dr. Tibbett!
- Doc, can I see ya a minute?
- Why sure, Jeff.
- Ah, take my place, Billy.
- Sure, Doc.
- What's the matter, Son.
- Doc, I...I'm all mixed-up.
I keep tryin' to figure this
thing out, but it just doesn't add up.
Something go wrong between you and Mary?
I guess she thinks I listen to other
people and do what they want to do,
instead of what I want to do.
- And what do YOU think?
- I don't know WHAT to think.
- Come here, Zeke.
- Ya'Sir.
Once I promised you a quarter
if you'd learn something.
Ya'Sir!
- Do you want to earn that quarter now?
- Ya'Sir.
Declaration of Independence,
in Congress, July 4th, 1776
"When, in the course of human events,"
"it becomes necessary for one
people to dissolve the political bands"
"which has connected them with another"
"and to assume among the powers of the Earth,"
"the separate and equal stations,
to which the laws of nature"
"and of nature's God entitle them."
"a decent respect to the opinions of mankind."
"requires that they should declare the
causes which impel them to the separation."
"We hold these truths go be self-evident,"
"that all men are created equal,"
"that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable rights,"
"that among these are life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness."
"That to secure these rights,
governments are instituted among men,"
"deriving their just powers
from the consent of the governed."
"That whenever any form of government
becomes destructive of these ends,"
"it is the right of the people
to alter or to abolish it"
"and to institute new government,
laying its foundation on such principles"
"and organizing its powers in such form,"
"as to them shall seem most likely to
effect their safety and happiness."
"Prudence, indeed, will
dictate that governments long"
"established should not be changed
for light and transient causes;"
"and accordingly all experience hath shown
that mankind are more disposed to suffer,"
"while evils are sufferable,"
"than to right themselves by abolishing the
forms to which they are accustomed."
"But when a long train
of abuses and usurpations,"
"pursuing invariably the same object"
"evinces a design to reduce
them under absolute despotism,"
"it is their right, it is their duty,
to throw off such government"
"and to provide new guards
for their future security."
- Do I get my quarter now?
- You bet you do!
There.
Oh! Thank you, Sir.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Mother, I'm not going
back on the witness stand.
- But, Jeffrey!
- You see, I'm going to marry Mary.
If she'll still have me after this.
I don't want to hurt you, Mother.
So...so, I won't say what I'm thinkin'.
But from now on I'm gonna live my
own life, the way I want to live it.
I'm sorry, Mother.
The Court is about to convene.
The Court is now in session.
Recall the witness.
Well, in the first place, Zenobia and I...
Mr. Jeffrey Carter.
My son isn't comin' back.
If Your Honor so pleases, I should like
to call the next witness, Mrs. Carter.
- Proceed.
- Mrs. Carter.
Your Honor...
You will please take the
witness stand and be sworn in.
I'd rather say what I
have to say from here.
This is a little irregular, Mrs. Carter.
I'll reimburse Professor McCrackle
for any damages he may have suffered.
I guess I've been very selfish.
Even though it made a
lot of people miserable
I've always taken exactly what I wanted.
I almost ruined my own son's happiness.
This is the first time I've ever
thought about anybody else.
I...I'm sorry.
- Emily, Emily, don't feel like that.
- Thank you, My Dear.
Case...dismissed.
- Oh, I'm so glad to see ya.
- Good evening.
Is...is...is everything all ready?
Oh, yes, we've been ready
for hours, just go in.
Oh, Henry, Henry.
Oh, good evenin', just go in, won't ya.
Zero, have you seen the Doctor?
Not since dinnertime...
'bout early this mornin'
He'll have a time with his jacket.
- Is she all right, Doctor?
- She's getting along fine.
- Oh, wonderful.
- You have nothing to worry about.
Oh, thank you, Doctor, thanks.
I... ... ...
My daughter's waiting!
Emily, be careful! Your hydrophobia!
Heart, you know.
Heart?!?
There's nothin' the matter with my heart.
Of course there isn't, Darlin'.
Well, to work, to work, to work, to work.
To work, to work, to work, to work.
- Do I look all right?
- Oh, you look lovely.
I remembers when I was a bride.
I wish I could forget it, though.
I wonder where Henry is.
Whatsa matter, Doctor,
is the elephant chasing ya?
No! And she won't chase me anymore.
But she sure needed me.