Zoey 102 (2023) Movie Script

1
Zoey, I've loved you
since the moment I saw you.
You knocked me off
my feet, remember?
I knew even then, and
I think you did too,
that what we've got
is something special,
something powerful,
something real.
When I look into your eyes,
I see our whole lives.
The good days, the bad days,
the birthdays, the old age.
I... I want to do it all, Zoey!
As long as I can do it with you.
And sure, it won't be perfect,
but nothing in this
world is perfect,
except for you.
I'm ready to build a life,
a family, a future, together,
but that all starts
with one question.
Zoey...
Zoey...
Uh, what's your last name again?
Brooks.
Zoey Brooks, will you marry me?
What are you doing?
I'm asking for your hand.
We've been on two dates.
Two perfect dates that
I would like to turn
into forever, so, will you
make me the happiest...
No, no, definitely
not, absolutely not.
Not in a million years, no!
Well, maybe if you
said "yes" now,
and then we could
talk about it later.
Byron, stand up.
Yeah. Hi.
You know this is weird, right?
Yeah, I know it's weird.
Just, I'm 30 and a half
and I live with my mom,
and I'm the lead singer
of a Maroon 5 cover band.
I don't really get a
lot of second dates.
Thank you for your
honesty, Byron.
I'm sure there's someone
out there for you,
it just isn't me.
So I need to leave.
Yeah, that, uh,
that makes sense.
You gonna be all right?
Oh yeah, I'm, uh,
yeah, I'll be fine.
All right.
So I'll call you?
Please don't.
Okay.
- Congratulations!
- Congratulations!
You're watching
LOVE: Fully Charged.
Welcome to sunny Malibou
Lake, California,
where 12 sexy singles
will spend the summer
searching for their
perfect match,
with the grand prize
of either true love
or a car.
This season, we've taken
a stupid old Pontiac
Solstice Coupe
and we've converted it
into the electric
vehicle of your dreams.
With a range of 300 miles and
self-driving capabilities,
this is the fully charged LUV-6.
Now buckle up because this week,
Jordan B. And Jordyn J.
Go on their first date.
What's up?
I currently drive
a 2009 Ford Fiesta,
no A/C, no rearview mirror,
so you know I'm gunnin'
for that Pontiac.
But Jordyn J. Is
lookin' super hot today,
so, yeah, I guess my
head is starting to turn!
You're lookin' super hot today.
- You want some wine?
- Yeah, thanks.
So look, why'd you pick
me to go on a date?
Um...
Tell her to go. Go, go!
Well, um...
Oh, thank God.
Mysterious...
'Cause you're mysterious
and beautiful,
and you caught my eye
the second you walked in.
I haven't felt a
connection like this
with anyone else in the villa,
and I'm excited to
see where this goes.
I'm also excited to see
where this goes too.
- To us.
- To us.
And cut!
- All right, that's a cut.
- Moving on.
That was great, you
guys! Really fun stuff.
Jordyn J., to confessionals.
Hey, how'd I do?
Oh, nailed it, just
like we practiced.
America is going to love you.
I don't think I could
do this without you.
How do you always know
what to, like, say?
Oh, it's just a part
of the job, Jordan B.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've
got a promotion to go get.
Get 'em, Zo!
So the question
that I propose to you,
my brilliant production
team, is this.
Has everybody seen what
they're doing at Dog Cops?
Yeah, it's some freaky shit.
Freaky, new
shit, and that's what I
want from you for our show.
I want freaky new ideas
or
you're fired.
- Make everyone get naked?
- No!
What if we paired
someone with an animal?
We did that last season!
What if we replaced all
the girls with their moms?
That's an amazing idea
because if there's one thing.
Middle America loves,
it's old women.
No, doesn't test well.
What if Jordan B. Proposed?
What if Jordan B. Proposed?
Everyone shut up.
Greg, you had an idea?
What if Jordan B.
Proposed to Jordyn J.?
A proposal... on
the second date?
That is some freaky shiznit,
and it is so genius,
it just could work.
How do you come up with this?
I don't know!
I know.
- 'Cause you're related to me.
- Actually, that was my idea!
Okay, so the reason I
called this meeting,
every year, for the finale,
I put together a team of
our brightest and our best.
The team that will
be live with me
on site for our finale is...
This is how you do TV.
- Taylor!
- Yes!
Brian!
- Aiden.
- Yes!
- Rafi!
- Yeah!
And of course, Greg.
Gotta have Greg. Everybody
else... be better.
See you on the ice.
Meeting adjourned.
- Siri, start my treadmill.
- Kelley, I need to talk to you.
Okay, I'm super busy,
so make it quick please.
It's about your selections
for live finale.
I think you're
making a big mistake.
Pink or hot pink
for the new girl?
- Nude.
- She can't be naked.
No, no, it's a color.
The color nude.
Do I have to do everyone's
job around here?!
I would be such a valuable
member of the team
because I've worked on the
show longer than anyone.
- All the contestants trust me.
- Mr. Kevyn, question from Legal.
Did we ever get permission
to use Pontiac for the car?
We are the number one
show on the network.
We don't ask Pontiac,
we tell them.
In fact, tell Pontiac,
if they don't like it,
they can kiss my
tiny little nuts.
You done or you still need me?
I have better ideas
than any of the guys!
The proposal was my idea!
Look, Debbie,
if you don't like your job,
I can get you a new one.
Submission tape duty.
Wait, no, no, that is not...
Submission tape duty!
Woo! LOVE: Fully Charged!
Not today, please.
Please.
This is a closed set, I
want to let you guys know.
I don't love that photo, to
be honest. I'll sign this.
I do have to leave
in about two seconds.
- But it's like the best picture!
- All right.
Oh my God.
Need a ride?
Oh, come on, cheer up.
This is what happens
when you still drive
your dad's PT Cruiser,
from high school.
You're gonna need
a new car, babe.
I'm fine. I like my car.
Isn't it crazy that I
started as your intern,
and now like, we're...
like, I'm like
like a little above...
like it's crazy.
What's crazy is that Kelley
lets you take home the show car
but I can't even get
him to look at me.
That's because Kelley
is obsessed with me.
It would be like gross
if it didn't come
with some perks.
I just think about
all the things
I dreamed about in high school,
and now I'm here, and it's like,
is this it, is this the dream?
It's really gross how often
you talk about high school.
No, but seriously,
just break the rules.
There are two types
of people, right?
Sharks and minnows.
I'm obviously a shark,
and you're-you're a minnow.
I'm not a minnow.
Okay, then prove it.
If you want Kelley's
attention, just do what I did.
What did you do?
I solicited him for nudes
and then I blackmailed him.
I'm joking!
You're crazy!
Um, no, I applied for the job.
If it makes you feel better,
I really thought the
promotion was yours.
You deserve it more than anyone,
including me.
I make way too much money.
You wanna go to sushi?
Take me to SUGARFISH.
Taking you to SUGARFISH.
Archer!
It's totally fine.
This drives itself,
we can just relax.
Sit back, relax.
Door closing.
- Hey!
- Hi!
- Did you get it?
- The promotion? No.
Sexism is still alive and
well in Hollywood, baby!
What?!
Those idiots.
But no, the package,
I meant the package,
Oh, uh, yeah.
- Five minutes, Ms. Pensky.
- Thank you.
You in London? I thought your
keynote wasn't 'til next week.
We're pre-taping it
for the product launch.
Open it. I only
have a few minutes.
The new TekMate?! These
aren't even out yet!
I guess it pays to
know the inventor!
Don't you want to turn it on?
Wow, the unbreakable
see-through phone.
It's even better in person!
Oh my God.
Did I tell you that I got
proposed to the other night
on a second date?
It's like the second we turn 30,
everybody just becomes
obsessed with...
"Will you be my maid..."
Wait, what is...
No.
Shut up!
Quinn and Logan are
getting married!
Sorry.
He met me in London and
surprised me with a trip
to the Netherlands. He
even chartered a plane,
which is so environmentally
irresponsible, but...
- Of course he did!
- Of course he did!
So, I just called Michael,
and he is obsessed with
being the officiant.
And I got off the phone with
Chase, and he is freaking out!
Oh. Hi-hi, Zoey!
So you heard.
- She finally said yes!
- Hey, Logan!
And it only took you
50 times. Congrats!
Okay, so I know it's
almost like too soon,
but the wedding has
to be August 26th.
Long story short,
product launch,
it's the only time I'm free
for the next two years.
And I don't know what I'd do
without my best friend there.
So what do you say?
You know, I thought I
was gonna have to work,
but looks like I'm totally free!
Thank you. Hey, you wanna get
me a water before I go on?
Anything for my fiancee.
Zo, you know it's
gonna be fine, right?
Chase is gonna be there.
It's gonna be fine.
More than fine,
it's gonna be fun.
No one gets to see
you anymore except me.
It'll be the
reunion we all need.
I gotta go, love you.
Please welcome inventor
Quinn Pensky.
I need another drink.
"No one sees you anymore."
I see people.
Just because I haven't
seen them in a while
doesn't mean we
aren't friends, right?
I have a lot of friends,
see a lot of people.
Even if I had the
option, I'm too busy.
I'm really busy all the time.
Of course I had questions.
Who snuck into Sunday school?
Who stole the Subaru?
And who stabbed
Sara bell a Samson?
I'm Stacey Dillsen, and this
is My Favorite Slaughters.
- Woo!
- Make a wish!
Is there shellfish in this?
No shellfish!
What's goin' on?
Yeah, give it to me.
Psh! Nice work. Yeah?
Okay, here we go.
Oh, yeah. You're good at that.
Oh, yeah, you wanna fistbump?
Let's go. All right.
Chase, I'm really
sorry about Hawaii.
But we were kids. Can we talk?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no. Oh...
You're watching
LOVE: Fully Charged.
No peeking. No
peeking. No peeking.
Okay, hang on. Hang on.
You ready? Three, two, one.
Ta-da!
Jordan B., what's going
on? Did you do all this?
No.
I mean, yes.
Jordyn J., I know it's
only our second date,
but there's something
I want to ask you.
Oh, my God.
Oh my God!
Yeah?
Um...
Yes?
Um...
Um...
What is wrong with him?
Um...
Greg, what is wrong with him?
I don't know. He's
never like this.
Yo, I'm so sorry, but before
I do this, can I talk to Zoey?
Who the hell is Zoey?
Zoey, you embarrassed me.
The network loved Greg's
idea of the proposal,
and then Jordan B. Goes
on one knee and is like,
"Uh, I need Zoey. Where's
Zoey? Zoey, where's Zoey?"
Well, where were you, Zoey?
You put me on
submission tape duty.
You are not here to answer.
You are here to listen.
I do not like Jordan B.
He acts like a baby.
But America disagrees.
It's probably the hair.
And if my prediction is right,
he's gonna go to the finals.
And when he does, I need you
to be
his mommy.
Mommy?
Yes.
When he is "hungy,"
you will feed him.
When he is crabby, you
will check his diapey.
And when we go live,
you will be in his ears telling
him exactly what to say,
because I will not
be embarrassed again.
Does this mean I'm
on the live team?
- Yeah, fine, on the live team.
- Yes!
Oh, God.
No, uh, wait, I cannot tell you
how long I waited to do this,
but I don't know if I can accept
because it is the same weekend
as my best friend's wedding...
I was not asking, okay?
Whatever your plans
are, cancel, okay?
You're busy.
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
One more.
One for the
one. Just a little one.
Quinn, it's me,
your maid of honor.
I can't come to your wedding.
I know it's the most
important day of your life,
but I have to work.
Oh, I hate this.
Zoey!
- Hi! Oh!
- Hi!
Oh, my God, I'm so
glad you're here.
My family's already
driving me nuts.
Bubbe says I'm too pale.
My mom thinks I should
add a belt to the dress.
- And Logan's sister Lyric is...
- Quinn.
- Lyric. Hi.
- I need to talk to you
- about your wedding present.
- Right now?
Yes.
My gift is an original song.
That is so thoughtful.
That I will be performing
as you walk down the aisle.
Lyric is an up-and-coming
singer/songwriter.
I specialize in EDM/deep
house/country-folk.
- It's like a whole thing.
- Lyric, about the gift...
Shh.
Ooh, that's really good.
Uh, sorry, the melody
just came to me.
I need to lay this down.
Siri, open voice memos.
What I would give
for the confidence
of a trust fund kid.
Um, Quinn,
there is something I really
need to talk to you about.
Ready, Miss Pensky?
I'm sorry, I... I gotta go.
- Talk later? Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
Thank you.
I hope she shows up.
Zoey? The maid
of honor? Why wouldn't she?
Because she never shows up.
And it's not like
we don't invite her.
Now that you mention it, I
worked with Quinn five years
- and I still haven't met her.
- My theory is
I think she's still
stuck on her ex, Chase.
- The best man?
- From high school.
It's sad. They were
supposed to spend the summer
after senior year
together in Hawaii,
but something must
have happened,
because they broke
up, and I don't think
she's had a relationship since.
Oh, no. Poor thing.
And if she does show, it's
going to be uncomfortable,
because I don't think she
knows Chase has a girlfriend.
A serious one. We had dinner
with them in Baltimore
when I was touring for my pod.
She's a teacher too.
They're so cute together.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Zoey?
- Are you okay?
- I'm good. I'm so good.
Your maid of honor has arrived!
- Hey!
- Hi!
It looks like you could
use a little drink.
Thank you.
Miss Pensky, you look beautiful!
It is so good to see you, Zoey.
Oh, this is my mom,
Quinn's grandma.
Not grandma. Never grandma.
Bubbe.
Nice to meet you.
Well, how's your family?
What is that little
brother of yours up to?
Not so little anymore.
He has two kids and twins on
the way, if you can believe it.
You all need to stop growing up.
Zoey!
- It's been so long!
- Hi, Stacey!
And you must be Camille.
Yes, it's so nice
to finally meet you.
We were just wondering whether
or not you were gonna make it.
I know. I'm late, but I was
at my boyfriend's house.
Lost track of time.
Boyfriend? Since when?
It's recent, but
enough about me.
Now, don't make us wait
until the wedding, Zoey.
Come on, give us the deets.
Yeah, yeah. What's his name?
Uh, his... his name is, um
um...
Hemsworth.
Hugo Hemsworth.
Hemsworth? Is he Australian?
Yeah.
Like Liam and Chris Hemsworth?
They're distant cousins.
- Oh! What does he do?
- What?
He is a doctor.
Surgeon, actually.
- Wow!
- Dr. Hemsworth.
She's ready.
Oh, thank God.
She looks great.
You look amazing.
How do you feel?
Like I'd rather be getting
married in a lab coat.
It's perfect. You're perfect.
You're a little pale.
Could use a belt.
- I'll see you soon.
- All right. Bye!
- Uh, hey, where's your car?
- Oh, it's in the shop.
- Oh. Do you need a ride?
- That's so sweet,
but my boyfriend's
picking me up.
- Wha-what?
- Actually, his car is.
It drives itself.
Self-driving?
- Fancy!
- Yes.
Uh, excuse me? Boyfriend?
What did I miss?
Is this what you
wanted to talk about?
Oh my God, are you bringing
him to the wedding?
- This is huge!
- No, no, no.
It's way too late
to add a plus-one.
No, it's not. I'm literally
texting our wedding planner.
Which reminds me, would you
mind going to Santa Barbara?
Logan is getting the rings
resized at some fancy place,
and there is no one I
trust more than you.
Do you mind?
- I don't mind. I'll do it.
- Thank you.
Oh! I love you.
- Mwah.
- Love you. Bye!
And that's when
I knew I had to do both:
The wedding and the finale.
If I was going to pull this off,
I needed three things:
A boyfriend, a car, and a plan.
The wedding is
happening at 4:00 p.m.
at Logan's family
estate in Malibu.
The live finale is
happening at 5:00 p.m.
at the LOVE: Fully
Charged stage,
just 2.3 miles up the road.
By the time I'm needed on set,
the wedding reception
will be in full swing.
I'll slip away to
work the finale,
and be back before
anyone notices I'm gone.
It's foolproof.
Next, I needed a car.
A self-driving car.
Securing the keys was easy.
Kelley lets Archer take the
LUV-6 whenever he wants,
and he was happy
to hand them over.
Wait, you're taking the car?
Zoey, get back here!
What? Ugh!
Ugh, thank God.
The student has
become the master.
Now, all I needed was a date.
But where I was supposed
to find a hotshot
Australian ER surgeon whose
name was Hugo Hemsworth?
Yo, what's up? My
name is Dragon.
My real name is Vantarius,
but I'm a really big
Game of Thrones fan,
so I legally changed my
name when I turned 18.
Come on, who can say no to this?
My name's Spencer, and
I know what women want.
He probably didn't exist.
What I needed was an actor.
Hello, my name is
Todd E. Schupert.
I'm 28 years old.
I'm an actor from
Burbank, California.
I can also do accents.
I can do Australian.
I just
came out from Bondi Beach.
G'day, how are ya?
And that's where you come in.
Looking at your rsum,
I can see that you
have years of training,
dozens of student
films under your belt.
BFA in Acting.
Oh, and a minor in Early
Childhood Development.
- Cool.
- No, no, no.
I Manny for family on the side.
Okay, I can quit if you need.
No major TV shows or
movies. That's great.
Okay, so, sorry, what
does this have to do
with me getting on
LOVE: Fully Charged?
Todd, I'm not here
to talk to you
about being on
LOVE: Fully Charged.
I saw your submission tape,
and I used my position
of power to get you here.
That was wrong, and
I'm sorry about that.
Okay, so why am I here?
I need a favor.
I need someone to
play my boyfriend
at my best friend's
wedding next weekend.
I need them to fully commit
the way only a real actor can.
Okay. So, like, method.
Sure. Yeah.
I...
I don't know why I thought
this was a good idea.
Forget I asked. I am sorry.
No, no, no. Okay, if I do this,
can you get me on the show?
I mean, I can certainly try.
That's good enough for me.
Is this completely insane?
Which part, hiring a super-hot
actor to play your boyfriend
at your best friend's wedding,
or agreeing to be at work
the same weekend as your
best friend's wedding?
The boyfriend part.
Convincing your friends
you have a hot boyfriend
is the least of your concerns
if he doesn't watch the road.
Does he know what he's doing?
The car drives itself,
and it performed very well
during the safety testing phase.
It ran over six crash dummies.
Um, hello? Arch?
I'm losing you driving
through the canyon.
Bad service.
The car will be back
before the show goes live.
Okay, bye!
It's the red button, Zoey.
Big red button. Center.
Yeah, right there. End...
Uh, what are you reading?
Oh, there are five steps to
creating the perfect character.
The who, the what, the when,
the where, and the why.
I have the first
four, right? So who:
Hugo Boss Hemsworth.
What: He is a
celebrated ER surgeon
who is madly in love
with Zoey Brooks.
When: Present day.
Where: Born in Melbourne.
Raised in West Philly.
You really took some
liberties there.
I just can't crack the why.
You know, my interpretation
is that he's being used
as a tool to make your
ex-boyfriend jealous.
- Is that right?
- Jealous?
No, no, no, absolutely not.
That would be immature.
I just want to show
him and everyone
that I am a very successful,
well-rounded adult
who's moved on and is
doing better than him.
Copy.
J-E-A-lous.
Hi. Oh, thank you so much
for coming. Great tie.
- Thanks.
- See you out there.
I don't know what to
tell you, Chauncy,
he's just not
shucking fast enough.
Get me another shucker.
No, no, no, get me two.
The people need oysters.
I got eyes on the bride.
Hi. There you are.
- I've been looking for you.
- I'm sorry, babe.
I've been putting out
fires left and right.
Isn't that what the
wedding planner's for?
- Yeah, I fired her.
- You what?
Look, she just... She
wasn't executing the vision.
I thought this weekend
was supposed to be
relaxed and intimate.
250 people is intimate, babe.
Do you know how many
people I didn't invite?
- It's just all a little much.
- A little much?
We got two life-sized cakes
of the bride and
groom to drop off.
Yeah. Right there is fine.
- Wow.
- Look, Quinn,
this is our wedding
weekend, all right?
You work so hard,
you deserve more
than a little much.
You deserve the most much.
I just want to give that to you.
I know you do.
- Quinn! Logan!
- Michael.
You look amazing!
- No, no, no!
- These are cakes!
Oh, wait, what? This is a cake?
- Yes.
- Damn!
Could somebody get these
human cakes out of here,
before I melt?
So good to see you.
- I'm so happy you're here.
- Buddy.
Oh, man, I'm so excited that
this is finally happening.
My two best friends
are getting married?
Taking the plunge, and
I get to plunge them?
This is truly
an honor. Honestly.
Oh, speaking of the ceremony,
I want to go over
what I have so far.
I got, like, five drafts.
I've been writing, all right?
"Dearly beloved..."
Here we go, Todd.
Mind calling me Hugo?
It just helps me
stay in character.
Now please, let me
take my moment before.
Todd.
"We're gathered here to get
through this thing called life."
What's up with that car?
- Todd.
- I don't know anyone named Todd.
- That car. The car!
- Oh, my God.
Look out!
- Oh, my God!
- Doors opening.
- I thought that was...
- You good? Everybody good?
What's up?
What's up?
You almost hit us with your car!
It's called making
an entrance, Logan.
All right. I'll accept that.
That's a pretty good
entrance. I mean, damn!
- What's up, Zoey?
- Michael, it's been too long.
Yeah, no shit, we live in the
same city and we barely see you.
- What's up with that?
- 'Cause she's too busy
putting up with my ass.
Apologies for my appearance.
I had to come
straight from surgery.
- Surgery?
- This is Hugo.
- Hugo, this is...
- Quinn and Logan!
The bride and the groom.
Of course I know who you are.
Zoey's told me so
much about you.
- Love your car.
- Thank you.
And you must be Michael?
Yes. The officiant, Michael.
- Pardon?
- The officiant.
You know, you said their titles,
you know, bride and groom,
but I'm Michael, the officiant.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah, it is awesome.
It's an honor, actually.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, hon, I'm gonna go
put the bags in our room.
Quinn, could you point me
in the right direction?
The wedding party is staying
in the guest quarters upstairs.
Yeah, I'll show them
up. Come on, Michael.
Thanks.
Somebody clean up that glass.
Okay, where did you find him?
He's perfect.
Tell me about it.
So how are things going?
Oh, uh... well, you'll see.
Welcome. Welcome, everyone.
Cheers to Logan and Quinn.
Cheers!
I got that second
shucker on site.
All right, I'm taking
him to you now.
I said two trays.
So then I'm thinking
of closing with a joke.
You know, since everyone will
be sobbing at that point.
You gotta wake up.
I'm trying to rehearse here.
What a disgusting
display of wealth.
God, I hate rich people.
Uh, don't you live here?
It's journalism. The
case I'm working on now
is a real stumper.
They call him the
Malibu Murderer.
He's still at large.
- So you're a detective?
- Podcast host.
Logan! Quinn!
Oh, look, I'm so
glad you wore makeup.
Bubbe, that's a cake.
- That's a cake?
- Yeah. Come on. Come on.
Don't talk to that.
I see. This is big,
even for Logan.
Yeah, I don't even know
half these people here.
Well, you know me,
and I'm here for anything
at all that you need,
whether it's a
refill or a rescue.
Hey, babe? I really
need you right now.
Aunt Carol and her
bridge club want a photo.
- Okay, I'll rescue you.
- Like, now.
Save you in a bit.
Sleeping arrangements
aren't gonna be a problem.
The rooms are huge.
I situated myself on the
couch like a gentleman.
And didn't think to change.
Zoey, I'm creating
a character, okay?
I just...
I need you to trust the work.
Now, which one is the ex?
I don't think he's here yet.
Okay, good, I'm gonna
go get us some drinks.
Chase.
Here.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi!
Oh, um
this is my girlfriend, Danielle.
- Hi.
- So excited to be here.
It's like a dream,
meeting everyone.
Chase keeps talking
about from high school.
Nice to meet you. I'm...
Ah. Let me guess.
Dana.
Lola?
- Coco?
- Zoey. I'm Zoey.
Chase, I don't remember
you mentioning a Zoey.
Yeah, well, must
have slipped my mind.
Ah, sorry.
Vodka martini, slightly dirty.
Mm, just like you, cowgirl.
Hi, I'm Hugo
Hemsworth, Zoey's boyf.
Oh! Boyf. Wow,
that's a strong grip.
- And jawline.
- Thank you.
I... am Chase. Chase.
Danielle.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hang on one second.
- Yes, babe, sure.
Um, I have to take this.
- So nice to meet you, Danielle.
- Likewise.
Chase, I had something
I wanted to tell you,
but must have slipped
my mind. See you.
See you, sexy.
You'll have to
excuse the scrubs.
I had to come
straight from surgery.
- Surgery?
- Wow.
We pulled a double.
Heart and brain
at the same time.
That's amazing.
Sorry, I was
getting the car detailed.
- Please!
- Oh, the shoes.
Then take them
off. Take them off.
- Greg.
- Okay, here.
Leave her shoes...
Leave them there!
Okay.
Oh, sorry. Okay, okay.
Perhaps you'd care to explain
this.
The thing I love
most about Jordyn J.
Is probably her boobs.
Oh, my God. The hair
looks so
good.
So you knew about this
and you let it happen?
Because the hair? That was it.
That was all that he had.
That's exactly why.
He wanted to show
Jordyn J. And America
that he's more
than just his hair.
Uh, he's a trendsetter.
It's called strategy.
Is it?
Kelley, being your first
and only female producer,
you just got to
trust me on this.
I know what our audience wants
because I am our audience.
And I love the hair.
For your own sake,
I hope that you are right.
Okay.
Zoey?
Seriously.
Hot dress.
Yeah.
Now I take you seriously.
Okay. Thanks.
Greg!
Punch you in the face.
Just pumping away,
trying to get a pulse.
Seven-year-old kid
swallowed a ping-pong ball.
- So sad.
- Oh, my God.
No, no, no. Don't worry.
He is fine.
Nobody has ever
died on my table.
Aw!
Except maybe a couple times.
Who even is this guy?
Shh. He's so sweet.
You know what? Enough about me.
Stacey, I'm a huge
fan of the pod.
Total Slaughter-head.
Yeah.
Any updates on the
Malibu Murderer?
Oh. Um... you listen?
Ahem. I'm back.
This is Mark, my field producer.
- Husband.
- Uh-huh.
But, yes, also field producer.
Didn't you and Quinn used to...?
Date. Yes.
Yeah, it was just a fling.
But this, uh...
- This is the real deal.
- Excuse me.
How was it with the witness?
- I got a description...
- Yes, Mark. Great work.
Of his hands.
Damn it, Mark,
that's not enough.
But go on.
She said the hands were large.
That's it?
Not guilty!
- They're enormous.
- Oh, so funny!
Jordan B., why
is your hair orange?
I thought I could fix it
without anyone noticing.
Fix what?
I found a gray hair, okay?
You happy?
I can't have gray hair at
23. I'm supposed to be hot.
You bleached your whole head
because of one gray hair?
Then it kind of started falling
out, so I had to cut it.
I tried to find you first,
but you weren't here.
I'm sorry. I know.
It's just...
Hang on. One second.
Um...
- I'm gonna have to leave again.
- What?
If you need anything
at all, you call me.
Not Kelley, okay? Me.
You're gonna be fine.
What was I saying?
Oh, yeah. Jordyn's boobs.
Om...
So, in a way, I credit Zoey
for saving that
little boy's life.
- Aw!
- Yeah, she...
- So sweet.
- Oh, my God.
She inspires me to
be a better surgeon.
- Aw!
- Wow.
Can you take a look
at my feet? Because...
- Whoa!
- What is that?!
I'm sorry, it stinks.
Don't smell it. Just fix it.
Quinn?
Quinn?
- Jordan B., what do you want?
- Zoey.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
It's gonna... It's
gonna be okay.
No! A neck tattoo will not
fix what you did to your hair.
Who's getting a neck tattoo?
I-I have to go.
Quinn, I've been looking
all over for you.
What are you doing
in the bathtub?
I'm unclogging the drain.
Did you know clogged drains can
lead to corrosion and flooding?
Oh no.
Okay, what's wrong?
I never dreamed of
having a wedding.
But then I fell in love
with someone who did.
And I want to do this for
him, but it's all a lot.
Does Logan know that?
We've been together over
a decade. You'd think so.
But he's so totally absorbed,
it's like he's a
different person.
I know he's dreamed of having
an extravagant wedding,
and I'm trying to be
sensitive to that.
But I'm not a rational function.
My limits are not infinite.
If only humans could
have vertical asymptotes,
you know what I'm saying?
Not at all.
But I think I get
the gist of it.
So why don't we just
get out of here.
Leave my own party?
I don't think I'm
allowed to do that.
You're the bride. You
can do whatever you want.
Party's almost over.
Plus, there's a cake down there
that everyone thinks
is you anyway.
- Where would we even go?
- I have ideas.
Seriously?
A karaoke bar?
No, no, no, no. It's late.
The rehearsal's tomorrow.
- We gotta be rested.
- Hey!
Look at me.
I love you.
I love you too.
So stop thinking about
the wedding for one second
and have some fun with me, okay?
Fine.
- Okay. All right.
- Yeah!
But if Michael doesn't sing
Limp Bizkit, I'm leaving.
Cool. Everyone's drinks are
on Logan. Let's go inside.
Let's go. Come on, babe.
- That's it, Logan.
- Let's do this.
- You good?
- I'm good. You good?
- Yeah. Great.
- Good.
Yeah! This is my favorite!
Rollin', rollin'!
Was he always that talented?
Yeah, but in school it was
mostly sad flute music.
Oh, yes!
So you all went to
high school together?
Yeah! PCA, baby!
So sad what happened.
We were the last class to
attend Pacific Coast Academy.
The school closed down in 2009
when multiple parents complained
about poor education standards,
leading the state to launch
a formal investigation,
only to discover the school
wasn't even accredited
and Dean Rivers was
stealing students' tuition
and blowing it at Morongo
Casino and Resort.
Yeah, it wasn't
even a real school.
The student loans were real! Ha!
I have so much debt!
Woo!
- Let's go!
- Great job, buddy. Great job.
- Let's do it.
- That was awesome!
I'm gonna hit the head.
Does anybody need anything?
Chase? Maybe a water?
Yes.
All right, I'll be right back.
- Consent to a kiss?
- Granted.
All right, next up,
we have Hugo Hemsworth
and Chase Matthews
singing a duet.
No, I'm all set.
Babe, you love karaoke. Go!
Chase! Chase! Chase! Chase!
- Yes!
- Woo!
Yes, Chase!
Go, Chase, go!
Hope you're cool
with the high part.
Uh, what song are we even...
Damn it, I love this song.
- Yo, they're both...
- Pretty good!
- Yeah.
- Let's go, Chase!
Not bad.
Bet you didn't know I was
a high tenor, did you?
- Are they...?
- Wasted?
One of them is.
See that bod?
Yes!
Calm down.
Yes!
I can't dance like that.
I can't dance like that.
No, come on! Come on!
Oh, whoa, whoa. Are you okay?
I am so sorry, dude.
What is this?
What? I thought we
were just having fun.
This is about Zoey, isn't it?
You're mad we dated so you're
trying to make me jealous.
Well, that's not gonna
work, Mr. Sexy Doctor Man,
because I don't care
about Zoey anymore.
- What's happening?
- Looks like they're fighting.
Let's just chill out.
That's it. I'm over
it! I'm over her!
- Well, doesn't sound like it.
- What'd you say?
I just get the feeling
that maybe you're not
actually over her.
You're getting a bit heavy.
- What?
- Up! Up!
What is your problem?
Oh, boo-hoo! Time for rehearsal!
Out of bed!
Everybody outside in ten!
What is the matter with you?
Can't he leave me
alone for one minute?
I'm so sick of
babysitting this guy.
I cannot do this today.
- Todd.
- Hmm?
Aren't you a Manny?
It's a side gig, but yeah.
No!
No. I'm your fake boyfriend.
Fake hungover boyfriend.
I'm not your babysitter.
Please. Please.
Meet me in the chapel in ten!
I have to go be with my friends.
I really need your help on this.
Please.
The villa is just
right up the street.
You can go up there,
distract him, have fun.
- Please, please, please?
- Wait, so I get to go to set?
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, my God. Finally.
Places! Okay.
So we're gonna
start with Michael
making an announcement
to ask all the guests
to silence their phones.
Cue Michael.
Cue Michael.
Silence your phone.
Bro, what is going on?
"I think I lost my voice."
How do you know
what he's saying?
I'm really good at lip-reading.
From over there?
- Plus, I have 20/20 vision.
- Great.
So my officiant
has lost his voice
the day before the wedding!
This is why we can't have fun.
"Let me show you. Ready?"
Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today
to celebrate this thing
called patriarchy.
Heard of it?
Which has been used for
centuries to oppress women
by buying and selling them.
It's also kept the majority of
wealth in the male minority.
Okay, thank you, Lyric.
Look, I'm sorry, buddy,
but I gotta replace you.
- "Son of a..."
- Fine.
- I'll do it.
- What?
I have the number one
murder podcast in the U.S.
People would literally kill
to have me officiate
their wedding.
Yeah, you make a fair point.
But who's gonna walk
me down the aisle?
- It's a straight line, babe.
- Michael, obviously.
"Okay, sounds good."
Let's try this again.
Stacey will ask everyone
to silence their phones.
Get out of here, buddy.
Cue Stacey.
Silence your phones!
Just a little less
creepy next time, okay?
Yeah, okay. Lyric's
gonna sing us in.
Lyric!
My AI gloves weren't programmed
to deal with that reverb.
Did you hear the echo?
All right, guys, get in places.
Michael, Mark, Camille
and Jared, come on.
- Tighten up.
- How's your nose?
How do you think?
Your boyfriend dropped
me on my face on purpose.
He did not do it on purpose.
Zoey, he's very strong.
His muscles are huge.
He definitely
could have held me.
Classic Chase. Taking
everything so personally.
He said he was sorry.
All right,
cue Camille and Jared.
Chase, I know it's awkward, but
for the sake of our friends,
can't we at least just
try to be friends?
I'm sorry, but after
everything that happened,
did you really think
we were gonna be able
to just link arms and
stroll off into the sunset?
All right, now Zoey and Chase
will link arms and stroll.
Okay, the timing
of that was unfair.
They're linking.
They're strolling.
You could look happy.
Okay, cue the bride.
And, frankly, there
is no amount of philanthropy
that will ever make
up for those mistakes.
Lastly,
Quinn, you have come up
with so many wonderful
inventions over the years,
but I think that your
most impressive yet
is actually the reinvention
of this guy right
here, my best friend.
He's become an amazing
man because of you.
And so I think I
speak for all of us
when I say thank you
very much, Quinn.
To Quinn and Logan. Everyone.
To Quinn and Logan!
This is nice. Stace,
isn't this nice?
Everyone together, celebrating?
Mm-hmm. Mark, tell me something.
You're my field producer, right?
And husband.
Then why aren't
you in the field?
I thought we'd
take the night off.
Can the women who
are being murdered
take the night off, Mark?
But
couldn't he be here?
- What?
- I'm just saying,
technically couldn't
the Malibu Murderer
be at this wedding
in Malibu?
How dare you, Mark?
These are our closest
and dearest friends.
- You're so right.
- Why would there be a murderer
- at this wedding?
- Just forget I said it.
Enjoy your fish.
Where's Hugo?
Um, uh
he got called in
for an emergency.
If only there were more
people like him in the world.
Hey, Zoe, your turn.
Like yesterday.
Oh, right. Yeah, okay.
I would like to make a toast.
I've known Quinn and Logan
for more than half my life.
During that time, I've
watched Quinn grow,
evolve, and accomplish
almost all of her dreams.
And I've watched Logan
watch her do that.
Everyone says that high
school love doesn't last,
and they're right.
Most of the time, it doesn't.
Against all odds,
Quinn and Logan have
proved them wrong.
Uh... um
uh, that's why it's so real
and inspiring.
Just really makes me,
you know, just dance
a little and, um
just really gets me
so excited, I just want
to sing and drink a lot.
Yeah!
To Quinn and Logan!
I'm such a klutz. I'm
gonna have to go change.
You missed your mouth by a lot.
I know. I'm sorry. I'll
be right back, okay?
What is going on?
Why is he here? And
what is on his face?
I'm an ice tiger. Grr!
Todd, what happened?
You told me to babysit.
So I took him to the pier.
He wanted to ride the
kiddy coaster, right?
But he's too big, so he hit
his head on the support beam.
Now he can't remember the
last six months of his life.
Including the show, or Jordyn J.
What?
My God.
Did I just hear a lion?
No. My dad made me get
rid of all my exotic pets.
It's not that big of a deal.
Right? It's okay.
I mean, wasn't Jordan B.
Pretty stupid already?
You're right, maybe
nobody will even notice.
I mean, I'm gonna be telling
him exactly what to say.
Okay, I need to get
back down there.
So you're gonna sneak
him into the villa,
put him to sleep,
he'll sleep this off,
and everything will be...
Door opening.
Door closing.
Zoey, it is show day.
You said you were gonna
have the car back in time,
so where's the car, babe?
Archer, I promise you,
the car is the least
of your worries.
Have you seen Jordan B.
Today? Is he acting a little,
um, I don't know, different?
Oh, hey!
- Hi.
- Hey!
Whoa!
Just as dumb as usual. Why?
No reason! Look, I'm
on my way with the car.
I just have to make a little
pit stop in Santa Barbara.
Santa Barbara? That
is not on the way.
Okay, um...
What do I do?
No.
Door opening.
Oh, my God! I'm so
sorry! I did not mean to!
Oh, Chase.
It's you.
Zoey!
If my nose wasn't broken
before, I think it might be now.
Why are you even up this early?
I went on a run. Why are
you even up right now?
Is your nose bleeding?
Oh, here, I have some tissues.
Door closing.
- Uh, no...
- Wait, no, no, no!
Wait, wait!
Navigation calculated.
Estimated time: One
hour, 12 minutes.
Zoey? Turn it off.
I don't know how.
You don't know
how to work your own car?
- Come on.
- Turn off!
Door. Stop car.
Cancel trip.
New drive
time: One hour, 59 minutes.
Why did it just go up?
- Quinn?
- Here comes the bride.
All dressed in really
pretty pink pajamas. Hello?
- Wedding day!
- Good morning!
- You all look so good!
- You do!
Where's Zoey?
Zoey?
Zoey?
- Zoe?
- Zoey?
- Zoey?
- Zoey?
It's showtime, baby.
Can you at least tell
me where we're going?
Cool, I guess we'll just
sit in silence then.
Chase, you made it very clear
that you don't want to
hear what I have to say.
I thought that
maybe this weekend,
we could put our past behind
us and act like adults,
but clearly we cannot.
So, yes, I think it's
best if we don't speak.
Playing "Don't Speak."
Ladies, are we decent?
Hugo, what are you doing here?
Zoey's dealing with a
little work emergency,
- so she sent me.
- Wow.
Who wants mimosas?
Yes!
- Everybody take a glass.
- Is everything okay?
Here you go. Everything is fine.
- She's gonna be right back.
- Okay.
Arriving
at Perry's Fine Jewelry.
But Logan said
you got the rings already.
Doors opening.
Thank God. Let's
get out of here.
This thing's horrible. It's
like a prison on wheels.
Doors closing.
Self-park activating.
Oh. Heh.
Hey, is that the car
from LOVE: Fully Charged?
No.
I'm pretty sure it is.
No, it's not.
These are really nice.
Even I would like for you
to buy me some of these.
You know, if you want
somebody on the side,
I am that person.
We are appointment only.
You have an appointment?
Um, we're here to pick up.
- Name?
- Reese. Logan and Quinn.
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Reese.
Stop playing with me. You know
you got no money. Go home.
Oh! Mr. and Mrs. Reese, I
did not recognize your voice.
I spoke to y'all over the phone.
Remember me? Janice.
- No, that's actually not...
- No. We're not...
Honestly, it's fine. My
mama say I'm forgettable.
But you two are late.
I thought maybe you
was trying to ditch us
and get your rings
down the street.
Pauline! Kayla!
- The Reese family is here!
- Oh, my God.
The rings will be right out.
Oh!
Pauline! Kayla!
Oh, this is a lot.
- Uh, no.
- Uh, no. We're fine.
- Take it.
- Take it.
Okay.
We love giving high-paying
customers like yourself
the full VIP treatment.
We hope you don't mind.
- We actually have to go.
- Yeah, we need to leave.
Oh, come on, you're never gonna
be as in love as you are now.
And it might not even last.
- Probably won't.
- That's a weird thing to say.
Okay. Oh!
A toast to the bride and groom.
Cheers!
So, Quinn and Logan,
what's your story?
- Again, we're actually not...
- We don't want to...
Oh, come on, don't be
those people, so boring.
Don't even think about
being those people.
You're not gonna get these
rings until you spill the tea.
Now, where did you meet?
Well, we met in middle school.
Oh, young love. I
love. Then what?
He saw me and ran his
bike into a flagpole.
- No. A flagpole?
- I'm dead.
- Then we became best friends.
- Study buddies.
But everybody knew I
had a thing for her.
And no one knew I
had a thing for him.
- They knew.
- They did not.
But every time I tried to
take it to the next level,
something always got in the way.
Other boyfriends.
- Other girlfriends.
- Yikes. We don't like that.
- Distance.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mistakes.
- Ugh.
But anyway, here we are
getting married now.
It's great, so
fast-forward to now.
We'd love our rings.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
- Actually, we're just gonna...
- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
- We're just gonna...
- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Guys, seriously?
- We're actually gonna head.
- We should leave, right?
This is a lot. And
the champagne was...
- Seriously, these suck.
- Every single one.
Blurry.
No, actually,
Zoey's the big spoon
and I'm the little spoon.
We're cute like that.
Hugo, you are hilarious.
Where did you grow up again?
Burbank.
Uh... Brisbane.
Australia. Brisbane.
Sometimes I use an
Australian accent when I go out.
You wouldn't believe
how many men, women, and
nonbinary people I get
when I use this voice.
Hey, Hugo, could you
text Zoey for me?
I've tried a bunch of times,
but she hasn't responded.
Yeah, can do.
I'll get us a bottle
while I'm out.
All right, see you soon.
Aussies are the best.
Hey, Logan, here's an idea.
I can still
officiate the wedding
using text to voice.
What? No, dude. Absolutely not.
Look, I can't find Chase
anywhere. Where is he?
Dude, I can't hear a
single thing you're saying.
Where is he?
- I'll text him.
- I'll text him.
Thank you, Jared.
Jared, you suck.
Really, Michael?
Is that what happens
when you get engaged?
Free champagne
everywhere you go?
No, that's what
happens when you drop
six figures on a ring.
So, um, you think you and
Hugo will get engaged?
No.
I'm-I'm... I mean, no.
Not really thinking
about marriage.
But what about you?
Danielle? No. I
mean, she's great.
Um, for now.
Uh, you know, the
timing just felt right.
Timing. Something we never had.
I'm so sorry about Hawaii.
I tried to call.
I sent messages.
And I completely understand
why you didn't respond,
but I wanted the chance
to explain why I...
Left me alone on a literal
island and waited weeks to call?
Yeah, why did you do that?
I guess I was so used to it
not working out between us
that I was scared
of what would happen
if it actually did.
So I just bailed.
I really, really wish I hadn't.
I mean, I've tried to move
on. I've tried to forget.
I threw myself into work.
Distanced myself from
all of our friends.
I even downloaded every
dating app on Earth.
But no matter what I did,
it always came back to you.
I know that sounds so
ridiculous, but it's why...
Why is the car stopping?
Zero percent charge.
Oh, my gosh. You have
to charge this car.
Yeah, that's kind of a thing.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
Is that what you're wearing?
Yeah, why?
No reason.
- Anything yet from Zoey?
- No.
Calls are going
straight to voicemail.
Why is
nothing going through?
Yeah, I think I had
better over here, actually.
What am I gonna do?
How could this be the one spot
that there's
absolutely no service?
Zoey, Zoey, hey, hey.
I think we can make
it, but we have to go.
We have to walk now.
- Okay.
- Come on.
Yeah, it'll be good. Here we go.
Have you heard from
Chase this morning?
Nobody can get a hold of him.
No, I haven't.
Wow, you look so good.
Thanks. So do you.
- Have you heard from Zoey?
- No, I haven't.
Wait. Is this supposed
to be their first look?
- They're weird like that.
- Wait.
So the maid of honor and the
best man are both missing?
I can't believe this.
How much farther?
Oh. Here.
Okay. Thank you.
Here, you wear mine.
Oh, that's so much better.
Yeah, this is...
- This is not better.
- Okay.
Oh, God.
So normally I could
not afford Montecito,
but I can afford Montecito if
the house has had a murder,
- which this one has.
- Uh-huh.
- The whole first floor...
- I think that might be wet.
What is that?
Uh, it's "White
Diamond," Mr. Kevyn.
Benjamin Moore?
This is a great shade.
I mean, I love it.
Will you paint my
office that color?
- Yeah.
- Great. Now?
- Oh. Yeah. Yes, sir.
- Now!
No, in the future. Now!
- Greg!
- Hi, hi.
Hey.
Does anyone have
eyes on the car?
Oh, God.
Come on, we gotta
go. We gotta go.
Okay.
- Hello?
- Oh, my God!
I thought you were dead!
I hoped you were dead!
I've called you like
a thousand times.
- Where the hell are you?
- I know, I know.
So I didn't exactly realize that
the car needed to be charged.
So it's dead on the
side of the PCH.
Oh, my God!
But it's okay.
The car doesn't even
need to be there
because Jordan B. Is going
to listen to what I say.
How are you gonna tell him
what to say if you're not here?
Archer, you're gonna have
to trust me on this one.
Well, I actually don't.
Um...
I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but it sounds like
you've gotten yourself into
quite a complicated situation.
You have no idea.
Okay, we have waited as
long as we can, all right?
These guests are gonna leave
if we have to listen
to Lyric sing anymore.
Wait.
We're here. And
we have the rings.
Quinn, I'm so sorry.
I can explain.
No. No explanations, all right?
We are late enough as it is.
Places. Go. Go.
Cue Lyric.
Cue me.
And cue Michael and Mark.
Cue Camille and Jared.
I was really worried about you.
I know. I'm so sorry.
And Zoey and Chase.
Thirty seconds to showtime.
Thirty seconds, everybody.
Hey, what am I supposed to do?
Are you seriously
asking me that?
- Yes.
- If you pick a Pontiac over me
on live television,
I will make your life
a living hell, hmm?
Hey, pal.
Pre-show jitters are
totally normal, okay?
Here's what I want you to do.
Just relax and listen to Zoey.
- Can you do that for me?
- I think so.
You're gonna be great.
- Oh, who's Zoey?
- She's not here, dude.
You'll have to manage
this on your own.
- Nice hair, by the way.
- Thanks.
- Fifteen seconds.
- Wow, okay, Joey. Thank you.
And paging Zoey.
Zoey, do you copy?
Where's the girl?
I'm here. I'm here, Jordan.
You got this, buddy. Just
take a deep breath for me.
This should be fun.
Please rise.
Welcome to the
LOVE: Fully Charged
season six live finale!
I'm your host, Archer
March. Three couples remain.
But only one can win.
And that couple will
soon be revealed.
First, let's look
at some highlights
from this juicy season.
Love you.
You may be seated.
No?
Dearly beloved...
Are you ready, America?
I don't know about you,
but my heart is racing.
Ugh, I'm sorry. I
just hate their faces.
Is it just me?
Don't... I'd like
you not to answer.
Of two of my very favorite
people in the world.
A genius, whose discoveries
will define a generation,
and my rich friend, Logan Reese.
The winners of LOVE: Fully
Charged season six are...
Jordan B. And Jordyn J.!
Congratulations, you guys.
Wow. This is so well-deserved.
How are you feeling right now?
Say, "It wouldn't
have been possible
without this beautiful woman."
It wouldn't have been possible
without this beautiful woman.
Aw!
Oh, um, did the maid of honor
have something
she wanted to say?
Oh, no! God!
Oh, no! God!
Sorry.
I'm just so overwhelmed
with emotion.
Uh-huh. Um, as I was saying...
Sorry, I'm just so
overwhelmed with emotion.
Okay, well, um,
don't get too excited,
because it's not over yet.
You still have a very
big decision to make.
Tight on the garage.
Perfect. Very nice.
Should anyone present
know of any reason
that this couple should not
be joined in holy matrimony,
speak now or forever
hold your peace.
Stacey.
You.
It's you.
Mark.
Hugo.
You were right under my nose.
How did I not see it sooner?
First, you came to the welcome
reception in dirty scrubs,
and no self-respecting ER doctor
would ever leave the hospital
in dirty scrubs.
Two, you said you
were from Burbank,
which is not in Australia.
And also
you have massive hands.
Hey, look...
Everyone, this man
is not the charming,
selfless, hilarious,
extremely jacked Hemsworth
cousin that we all thought.
This man is the Malibu Murderer!
Wait, wait? Murderer?
No, no, no, no. I...
I'm not a murderer.
I'm an actor.
Jordan B., what do you
love most about Jordyn J.?
- What's going on?
- Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Jordan B., we're
all a little confused.
What is it that you really want?
If it's absolutely nothing,
then why were you late?
It was the car! The car!
No, Jordan, not you.
The car. Oh, the car!
No, Jordan, not you.
Can you explain all of this?
Yes. Sorry. Of course.
Am I hearing you correctly?
You're choosing the car?
Yes. Sorry. Of course.
Open the garage, I guess.
Where is the car?
Where is the effing car?
Greg?
Are you watching
LOVE: Fully Charged?
Oh! Who won?
What is going on?
I'm working.
I'm working during your wedding.
I got an opportunity,
and I tried to do both.
If you had to work, why
didn't you just tell me?
Because this is so important,
and you were so excited.
So I lied. To myself, to you.
To everyone.
What about him? What is
Stacey talking about?
Hugo is not a murderer.
I'm not sure how she
came to that conclusion.
His name is Todd,
and I hired him to be my
boyfriend for the weekend.
I knew something was
going on with you.
You've been distant
and distracted,
and you completely abandoned
me when I needed you the most.
To do what? Hang out with Chase?
Zoey, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
Logan, don't even start.
You care more about making
this wedding a spectacle
than about making it meaningful.
You completely ignored
me every step of the way.
None of this is what I wanted.
Our wedding is off.
I don't know what's happening.
I don't know what's happening.
I could do everyone's
job in here
better than everyone who is
not doing their job in here.
Everyone's fired. Get out.
So I guess this is a
wrap on me then, huh?
Yeah. Thanks for
everything this weekend.
I'm so sorry I dragged
you into all this,
and I can't even
get you on the show.
I'm an actor in L.A.
I kind of expect
to be disappointed.
You got my head shot and resume?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So, did you talk to Danielle?
I mean, I feel awful.
Zoey, I... I have a confession.
Danielle and I actually
broke up two weeks ago.
She agreed to still come
with me to the wedding
so I didn't have
to show up alone.
Well, at least you
didn't hire an actor.
Yeah, there's that.
How did I screw this up so bad,
and when did life get so messy?
I know we thought
high school was hard,
but I would kill
to go back to PCA.
Yeah, it's too bad Quinn hasn't
invented a time machine yet.
I'm sure we'd all
love to go back.
Yeah.
Go back.
That's exactly
what we need to do.
Uh, what?
This is gonna take a while.
All right, people,
let's get to work.
Let's do it.
Think there's anything left
in the old arts
and crafts studio?
You know, this is great and all,
but what if I
can't get her here?
I've tried flower arrangements,
edible arrangements,
a sky writer, nothing.
Have you tried talking to her?
- No!
- Maybe try that.
- There's so much to do.
- I know. I know.
Do you mind helping Ms.
Reese with lights over there?
Thank you.
I don't know,
Mark! Just be helpful!
- I'm trying.
- Here, I'll help.
- Thank you.
- Got it.
Zoey!
Look what I found!
No, no, you're under strict
vocal rest until it's time.
Is this cake?
- Yeah.
- I knew it.
Okay, okay.
Okay, listen, I
know that we thought
Sushi Rox closed
when the school did,
but it turns out Kazu's
son started a food truck,
and they'd be more
than happy to cater.
Perfect. She loves sushi.
Cool, I think that
covers everything, right?
Except for music.
I know that Quinn was really
excited about the band,
but unfortunately they're
unavailable today.
So who are we gonna
get to play the music?
Me.
I'm a DJ too.
Sounds pretty good.
That settles it.
So, what do we do now?
Now? We wait.
I'm so sorry, Quinn!
Maybe this all
happened for a reason.
Maybe we just want
different things.
- And maybe that's okay.
- No!
I don't want different things.
I only want what you want.
I was trying so hard to
make this wedding perfect
for me and for you.
I stopped thinking about us.
I was an idiot.
I was worse than
an idiot. I was...
A groomzilla?
Yes.
Is that a thing?
All I know is I want
to be with you
because I love you, Quinn.
I love you too, Logan.
I love Quinn Pensky!
And I love Logan Reese!
Shut up!
Hang on, I'll buzz you up.
Can you come down?
I was hoping we
could go for a ride.
Logan, where are we?
What are we doing?
Hi.
Hi.
What is all this?
Did you do this?
We all did.
Quinn, I'm so sorry.
You can't not marry
your best friend
because your other
best friend ruined it.
But I'm wearing this.
Well, you did always say
that you'd rather get
married in a lab coat.
Here.
How do you feel?
Like myself.
Quinn Pensky
will you marry me still?
- Yes?
- Yeah.
Yes! Yes!
She said yes.
Dearly beloved.
Just kidding!
We're gathered here today
to celebrate this beautiful love
between Quinn Pensky
and Logan Reese.
Seriously, best ceremony
I've ever heard.
I mean, hilarious,
heartbreaking, personal.
Did you write that yourself?
I've been writing
that since high school
when they first fell in love.
You should do our wedding.
Oh, I'm down. Let's
do it. Let's go!
Oh, excuse me.
I have to take this.
Kelley, I know what
you're going to say,
and my stuff will be out
of the office on Monday.
I'm promoting you.
You're what?
The numbers are in.
It was the highest-rated.
Fully Charged finale ever.
The network is sharting
their brains with happiness.
They want a spin-off
with both Jordans.
I want you on my team.
- I don't know what to say.
- There is so much more to you
than meets the eye.
You have so much more to offer.
What you did by throwing out
every reality TV trope,
by ignoring me at every turn,
that took balls.
I respect balls.
- You're right.
- What?
I do have a lot to offer.
And I'm tired of wasting it on
people who don't deserve it,
like you.
- I quit.
- I'll double your salary.
- And give me the corner office?
- Yeah, sure.
And fire Greg?
- Hey, Greg?
- What?
You're fired.
All right.
- Yeah, done.
- Oh, there he is! Todd!
One more thing.
Deal.
Hey, Jordan?
Go home.
I don't know where I live!
I am sorry that I accused
you of being a murderer,
but you have to understand
it was not my fault.
It was Mark's. Mark,
what did you do?
I followed a bad lead.
That's right. And what do
you have to say to Quinn?
I am sorry we
ruined your wedding?
We?
I'm sorry I ruined your wedding.
Better.
Oh, I am also very sorry,
but he does not speak for me.
No, it's a feminism thing.
We do that... Where
are you going?
Todd, you made it.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
I Manny on the weekends.
Well, you may not
have to anymore,
because I got you on the show!
- No.
- Yes!
Thank you!
Everybody, get out of the way.
Quinn and my dumb brother are
gonna do their first dance.
- So...
- Tell me.
This wedding sucks. Where
are the oyster shuckers?
All right, I deserved that.
You want to dance?
What's next, Chase Matthews?
Back to Baltimore?
You know, it is
really cold out there.
Well, I heard, and
don't quote me,
but I heard there are
schools in California.
Oh, well...
Well, maybe I'll look into that.
But whatever the future holds...
I hope that you're in it.
Because...
I love you, Zoey.
And I always have.
I...
love you too.
Ugh, I'm bored.
Toss it back! Woo!
I hear you're, like, a producer.
Heard of Drippin'?
And you're friends with Logan?
And he didn't
introduce me to you?
Logan, you always do this to me!
You never support me
in any of my endeavors!
I support you. Don't...
Good for you for picking up
on the rebound, you know?
Yeah!
- Yeah. Yeah!
- Yeah.
Sloppy seconds.
I know you're bummed we didn't
catch him this time, Stace,
but we will.
We always do.
That's why we're the number
one murder podcast in America.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
So great meeting you, Todd.
Sorry again about
that little mix-up.
Oh, don't even worry about it.
You guys get home safe, okay?
Shh.
I have ideas.
Excuse me, did I wink?
You're loving it, Mr. Perry.
Oh, I am.
Mr. Perry, you own
a jewelry shop.
I'm loving it too.
Bubbe! What are you doing?
Oh, I thought you were cake.
- No, it's me.
- I almost ate you.
Here, I got your back.
Oh, my God!
- We're in a car!
- It didn't smell bad.
Somebody help me. My God.
With a 300-mile
driving radius...
Uh-huh, what's the line?
I'm sorry to this camera that
has to go back and forth.
Loving you.
And...
Could you play that back?
Are you guys still filming me?
Can I ask an honest question?
Can you tell that these
are ladies' leggings?
I don't think you
can tell. Right?
I'm good.
Cut.
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not.
And that's that.