Zookeeper (2011) Movie Script
It's beautiful, right?
it's great.
Hey.
What's that?
What?
Check it out.
Hey.
Okay.
Hey, there's a note in it.
Get out of here.
Yes, there is. It says:
- "Will you mar... "
- -Stephanie?
It's no secret
we've been on a journey together.
An adventure.
And I've done a lot of soul searching,
and I know...
this is just right.
So will you marry me?
That's so sweet. No.
Sorry?
I can't.
Really?
I really didn't wanna do this right now
but you're kind of forcing my hand. Um...
I'm thinking we've reached
the end of the line.
Really?
Look, Griffin, I know it shouldn't
bother me that you're a zookeeper,
but it kind of does.
And when we first started
dating, I just assumed
that you would turn into the guy that
I'd always dreamed of being with.
But...
Not your dream guy, I got it.
You had to see this coming.
I bought a ring and rented a horse.
Well, that's not my fault!
Don't yell at me on the beach!
I love...
Stop it!
Do not make this harder
than it has to be. God!
You totally set me up.
Little heads up.
I may have hired a mariachi band.
Oh, there they are.
Just ignore them.
Ignore it.
Thank you, sir.
There you go.
Good morning, Barry.
Come on, Donald, let's move
you out of the sun. Come on.
There you go, buddy.
Nice and shady.
Cherry.
Thanks, Franky.
See you at the party tonight.
Come on, Shane.
What are you doing?
We talked about this.
His food should always be fresh and
placed inside the door out of the sun.
You go down there.
I am not getting jacked up by him again.
It's been 10 years.
Bernie's cool.
Why do you bring
this stuff around here?
You trying to make
the rest of us look bad?
What? No, no.
I feel for him.
He's all alone.
Oh, he's all alone.
Look, it all starts with trust.
Sure.
You won't be so cocky when he's beating
you to death with your own arm.
Hey, Bern.
Got a little something for you.
Looks like things
just got fun around here, huh?
What is this, anyway?
Is this an old tire
or a gateway to adventure?
It's... it's adventure.
It's an adventure.
Hey, Tony. Go.
Hey. How did it go
with the tire swing?
Oh, that good, huh?
Don't know
if he's gonna come around.
Don't get discouraged. Bernie feels what
you're trying to do. All the animals do.
You're like the hippo Whisperer.
I don't know.
Hey, is that
the new release cage?
Yep.
The eagle enclosure's almost done.
I gotta tell you, it is amazing.
Great job.
Thank you.
It's getting a lot of attention.
In fact, I may be sitting on
an offer to work my magic
at the Nairobi Zoo in Africa.
Oh, man.
Ahh...
Wow, that's awesome.
Congratulations.
I'm thinking about it, but...
It's great to be wanted.
You know how that feels.
Oh, I've been in play.
There was a zoo in New Hampshire that
was coming after me pretty hard.
It wasn't so much a zoo.
It was more an animal farm.
But the animals
were nice. Cool.
Not big like here.
We didn't have the...
They had a couple badgers.
A badger and a...
They had a sick raccoon. Sick.
His name was Peter
and he was big.
Hang in there, girl.
Whoa.
What happened?
She's having trouble breathing.
What's happening?
She's stable and She's sedated.
I'm gonna get a trach tube.
Oh, my God. Okay.
What do we do, Kate?
Don't panic, Griffin.
Not breathing. Support her neck.
On my count. One, two, and...
She's a big girl.
She's a big girl.
Griffin, you okay?
Yeah.
There's something blocking her airway.
I need a laryngoscope.
I don't know what a laryngo...
it's in the drawer.
Okay, I got Post-its,
cinnamon Tic Tacs...
It's silver, curved and has a light on it.
Got it.
Come on. There's definitely
something in her throat.
Hold her jaw open.
I'm putting my hand in.
It's stuck.
No, come on.
Oh, God. Okay.
I guess I'm up.
I can't...
Come on.
Okay, I'll hold.
Hold the jaw.
Come on, you can do it.
That's a feeling
I never wanna get used to.
Hurry, hurry.
You can do it, you can do it.
I got it.
She's breathing.
Good luck getting the deposit
back on that one.
You did it.
No, we did it.
We did it.
She's okay.
Oh, God. You're okay.
I You supply the night I
Baby, I'll supply the love
This place looks amazing,
Griffin. No.
Grif, Mom and Dad would have loved this.
Thank you.
Kate.
Hi, Dave.
That's... Kate heads up our eagle program.
That's Robin.
- This is Venom, he is our reptile guy.
- Hey.
How are you?
Oh, you gotta bring it in with him.
Mm. Now onto the fiance.
Okay, Venom, reel it in.
- Okay, that feels good.
- Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, come on.
No, you're not married yet.
Congrats on your big day.
I don't know where you kids are going
for your honeymoon, but Omaha,
stupid with
underground fight clubs.
Okay. Um...
We're gonna circulate.
Yeah.
All right.
Congrats on being hot.
I gots to gets my flows on.
All right, folks.
I'd like to bring up the guy
who is responsible
for putting together
this little party-slash-field trip.
Dave's brother, Griffin.
Whoo! Griffin.
Griffin.
Are you going with Floyd?
Oh, yeah.
Go get them.
I'm getting them.
Let's hear it for him.
Love.
We're all here tonight
to celebrate one thing,
and that's love.
You know, finding the perfect mate
is the most important thing
in the world.
No matter what package
they come in.
I mean, you take Floyd here.
Now, porcupines, they...
They get a bad rap, you know?
And I'm sure you see the sharp quills
and the tough exterior.
But you know what I see?
Just a great guy looking for love.
And that's what Robin sees
in my brother Dave.
Aw.
- To the couple.
- Yeah.
To you guys.
Congratulations.
- All right.
- To Dave and Robin!
Hi.
I... I...
God, what was I, uh... ?
Ahem. Heh.
I, uh...
Sorry, I just lost my train of...
I got a train of... Train.
What I'm basically saying is...
I mean, I'm not...
May not be an expert on love,
you know,
per se.
But I do know a lot about animals.
He's an indigenous...
He's a woodland creature. Ahem.
Did I cover burrowing?
Did I go over burrow
because I don't know if I got... ?
I had a whole thing on burrow.
Did it get hotter, 10 degrees hotter?
Where did that breeze go?
It is hot.
My elbows are sweating.
That's weird.
I don't know why I'm telling
you this now. Oh, boy.
I had so many beautiful things...
I'm just gonna sum up.
I think sum it up,
what I wanted to say.
Dave, Robert, good luck.
That's really what it comes down to.
And anybody who wants to
learn more about porcupines,
I'll be off to the side over here.
Carry on, my wayward son
Yeah. Food for thought,
ladies and gentlemen.
You invited Stephanie?
Sorry to jump you like that.
I didn't even know Robin was
gonna invite her. I'm an idiot.
You still got a thing for her,
don't you?
So, Stephanie, I saw the way
that you were looking at Griffin.
Is something going on?
I don't know.
I guess I feel bad about the
way things ended between us.
I might've been a little rough on him.
A little?
Okay, Robin, a lot.
I'll own it.
Seeing him tonight and up there
in his little uniform and...
So cute.
I don't know, it just reminds me
that he has so much potential.
You deserve a great girl in your life.
But you gotta understand
how the world works.
What's wrong with being a zookeeper?
Nothing, you're the best, okay?
It's just...
Look.
Offer's still on the table
to work at the dealership.
Okay? Because here's you,
the grass, mine's greener.
Dave.
No, I'm serious.
You could make
your annual salary in a month.
That is how you get a girl
like Stephanie.
Come on, this could be
a whole new life for you.
Think about it.
Yeah.
Floyd, right?
I hope my being here doesn't
make you uncomfortable.
I'm not uncomfortable.
So comfortable.
Ah! Ah.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
No, it's fine, it's fine. I got it.
Oh, God, it's barbed.
Okay, so, hey, how you doing?
Still in design school?
No, no, I've been out for a while.
Okay.
I'm a buyer for Saks now.
Oh, that's good.
I see you've been busy.
Lead Zookeeper.
Yes, yeah. You know,
I got the bump last year.
They don't usually until
you've been here 10 years.
I'm only been here eight.
It's basically like getting a black belt
after only a month of karate.
Or mastering a, uh...
Let's see. Um.
That's all I can think of right now.
Just karate, go with that.
Yeah.
So it's good.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's good.
Oh, Griffin, you're bleeding.
No, no.
Yes, yes, you are.
Come here.
Let me get it, come...
I'm not gonna bite.
There.
There you go.
Now you're all better.
Anyway, Robin was talking about
wanting to see
the animals tomorrow,
and we're wondering what are the
odds of getting a private tour?
Not good. Not good at all.
There's a sign-up sheet,
a pretty elaborate waiver.
And you'd have to go through the main
office, which is closed. They close at 4.
Yeah, doesn't sound good.
It's not.
Okay, so we're on our own.
Well, it was really nice to see you.
Okay.
You know?
Bye, Floyd.
Bye, Griffin.
Dave's right.
I gotta get out of this zoo.
- Closing up shop again, Grif?
- Yeah, just had to clean up.
Meeting.
Let's do this. Come on.
What? Oh, nothing.
I wasn't cleaning my basement.
Okay. Here we go.
If this is another eating intervention,
I'm not hearing it.
This is my ideal weight.
Ask the vet.
Come on. Pop the latch.
Yeah, let's go. We want a good seat.
- What do you think this is?
- Am I psychic?
We got the call the same time.
Take it down a peg, just asking.
Bernie.
Hey, we having a meeting.
You wanna come?
You don't.
Don't know why I asked.
Come on.
We're gonna have a meeting.
I'm excited about this.
- I wonder.
- What's going on?
All right.
I got a very busy schedule.
This better be good.
You sleep 20 hours a day, Joe.
I think you'll live.
Okay, things I didn't want
the group to know.
Look, we got a problem.
Remember that chick that broke Griffin's heart?
Well, she is back.
What?
What, Stephanie's back? Whoa.
This is not good.
Griffin's thinking of quitting.
We can't let that happen.
He can't leave.
He's the best zookeeper we ever had.
He keeps my hay fresh and he rubs
lotion on me when I get dry skin.
He makes papier-mach antelopes
for me to attack.
And inside? Muffins.
Oh, I like muffins.
Can I get a "Hey now"?
Plus, he's the only human
who recognizes me as an equal.
In your dreams.
Thumbs, baby.
It's all about the thumbs.
What do you call this?
That's a paw. You can't grab
a coffee mug with that.
You can't wear mittens.
It's useless.
I'm so blessed.
Sorry. One more look.
Griffin saved my life.
Right, I made my decision.
We're not helping Griffin.
Really? Because I remember a time
when you needed help with females.
Namely me.
Remember, you were shy.
You sent your buddy over
to test the waters to make sure.
And then you would, like,
follow me around.
I'd look at you,
you'd look away embarrassed.
Okay. We're helping Griffin.
Now, how do you propose we do it?
Animals are experts on mating.
We tell him how to get her back.
No.
Nobody's talking to Griffin.
You know the code.
We don't ever talk to humans.
You don't break the code,
idiot.
Besides, Griffin's got
no shot at this girl.
That is why you're single, Bruce.
You have no sense of romance.
Herbivore.
Maybe it's possible to help
Griffin without talking to him.
The girl's gonna be here tomorrow
and she's interested.
And how do you know that?
She said, and I quote, "Griffin
has potential." Potential.
All we have to do is make him
look like a hero in front of her.
Then zip-zang, Griffin gets
the girl, stays at the zoo,
everybody wins.
Awesome. We got a plan.
Whoa!
Hey, what's this now?
Wait. You're not
a zoo animal.
Excuse me. Am I standing in the zoo?
Then I'm a zoo animal.
Don't get mad at us because no kid
says, "Mommy, I wanna see a crow."
Okay, that's the captivity talking.
Enough. You've all made your
point, we'll help Griffin.
But no one breaks the code.
- Understood?
- No breaking the code.
Okay, we're helping a human.
This is big.
You started your diet today.
He's not even chewing.
Take a breath.
What, I'm stress-eating.
Stop looking at me!
Much better than the tire we had.
Sorry about that, by the way.
You're gonna enjoy this
a lot more.
I don't know. I made it,
I drilled it and put a ball in there.
Get that baby spinning,
have it land in a circle.
What? Winner, winner,
chicken dinner.
I think you'll like it.
There. There you go.
I'm not sure, kind of like a disco ball.
Look at that. Whoa.
Party at Bernie's. it's fun.
It's gonna be good.
It sucks being alone here, buddy.
I know.
All right.
Okay.
See you tomorrow, Bern.
I don't know.
She just intimidates me, you know?
But you know me.
I don't like to talk about it.
Hey, Griffin.
Hey, Grif.
Hey.
We were gonna
go see the rhinos,
and we were wondering
if you could show us the way.
Uh... You know what?
I can't right now.
I'm feeding the giraffe.
She's eating carrots.
Okay.
Here they come.
See the thumb?
Yeah, yeah, I see it.
Time to make Griffin
look like a hero.
Here we go. Get it together.
All right, here you go.
Anybody looking? No.
Oh, my God.
Joe.
Joe, over here.
Please. This way.
Get them out of there, I'll distract him.
Got it.
Joe.
Oh, crap.
Get in.
Oh, God.
Joe.
Joe? Joe.
- Oy.
- Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Huh?
Oh, I mean:
Wait a sec.
Aah!
Griffin, I know this is weird.
Griffin.
Lion secure, going home.
Haven't you learned anything
from being under my tutelage?
No. No.
Mommy, look, it's going to eat.
Come on.
Yeah, it's on, but, like, on reverse.
Yeah, you should definitely go.
He, uh...
Wasn't saying anything, did he?
What's going on?
J' Down by the river N
He's a good one, yeah.
How much do they weigh?
What's up?
Good night, Griffin.
Good night, Manny. Heading home?
If by "home"
you mean Uncle Bosoms,
I'll be there in the back,
purple couch.
Okay.
All right.
I know you had your dinner,
but this is just a little reward for
what I like to call a winning attitude.
You care to comment on that?
Yeah, I didn't think so. Okay.
Have a good one.
You wanna talk? Let's talk.
You remember nothing.
You remember nothing.
I totally think this is working.
Relax. Calm down, calm down.
Breathe. Breathe.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
He's freaking out.
Look at him, look at him.
What do you think I'm looking at?
You can talk.
Yeah, we can talk.
I can sing pretty good.
I can teach you
how to give yourself a bath.
How did you get out
of your enclosures?
You don't wanna know.
Actually, I do.
Okay, but I don't wanna tell you.
How long have you been
able to talk?
Let's see. Today's Tuesday,
so always.
Always.
Then why haven't you?
Humans can't handle it.
Any time we talk to
humans, it always ends badly.
Except for parrots.
Somehow they get away with it.
"l be parrot.
Happy birthday."
Why did you talk to me?
You saved my mate.
We tried to help you connect with yours.
But you blew it.
I appreciate it,
but you know what?
I had a really bad experience
and I don't like to talk about it.
"Don't like to talk about it."
That's crazy.
We've been hearing about that
breakup on the beach every day
for the last five years.
Okay, I might have mentioned it before
I knew you could understand me.
Come on, man, we heard her talking.
She wants you.
So what if you don't have my great
complexion or my thick, wavy hair?
I would tell you this.
You have nice calves.
Great calves.
Of course I don't have calves.
I basically have columns
with toenails.
So you think I should
maybe ask her out?
Okay. All right, now,
slow it down, hot shot.
You ask Stephanie out,
it's gonna end the same way.
You haven't changed,
you don't trust your instincts.
You listen to us and we turn
you into an alpha male.
I don't know.
I don't think
he's got the size.
Size has nothing to do with it.
We both know who the alpha is.
You're giving me attitude.
That's why I do stuff to your water bowl.
That was you?
You said it was vitamin drops.
Surprise.
Oh, that's it.
Bring it, come on.
it's been brought.
Oh, boy, here we go again.
It's like watching a fight
between two beanbag chairs.
I am tired. I'm back in.
Me too.
You're a good man, Griffin.
You just need a little help.
Yeah. Who better than us
to help you?
- Come on, you honeypot.
- Bring it, big boy.
What have I got to lose?
That's not instilling confidence.
Sorry.
Two more licks.
Is it on, is it on, is it on? Yeah.
Hey.
Thought we'd mix things up
a little today.
Got some organic jambalaya.
You know...
If you ever, uh...
You want anything, I...
You could always ask me.
Hey, how's the, uh...?
How's that ball working out for you?
Lot of fun with the...
Any disco
parties?
All right.
Just leave it by the door.
Come on.
Move. Come on, stupid bears.
Do something.
What is he doing?
Hey. Don't do that.
No, no, no. Hey.
Whoa!
Can we get that?
Okay.
Now, no sudden movements.
I want you to get to your feet.
Slowly walk to the door.
Come on.
They're not gonna hurt you.
Good.
Okay, we're fine, here.
Here we go.
He backed you down.
I didn't see you do anything.
Hey, thanks, guys.
I appreciate you showing
some restraint.
Any other day,
that would've been lunch.
But you showed confidence,
what you're not doing with the girl.
See, when I take down a female, I...
Whoa. Take down a female, you?
Don't know me my whole life.
I did three years in Vancouver.
You got a chick in Canada?
Yeah, I was dating a Kodiak model.
Kodiak model?
She's technically a model.
She was on a tobacco can,
born with an extra claw.
She knew how to use it.
Canadian bears are wild.
Very wild.
She's wild in your dreams.
You don't know squat, Jerome.
Were you there, huh?
I didn't think so.
And what's with the "Jerome"?
Anyway,
you need to unlock
your inner bear.
The only way that's gonna happen
is to do as we say.
And that's how you get your girl.
We get it.
Let's start with your walk.
My... Come on, my walk is fine.
Fine? It's a not, stinking pile.
This time he's got a point.
Come on.
Show us your stuff.
Yup.
My... This is stupid.
My walk?
Wipe that goofy look off your face.
You're a predator.
Act like it.
Get those paws up.
That's what we do.
What was that?
No, no, no.
This guy's untrainable.
We're wasting our time.
Give me one more shot.
Come on, get your paw up.
Yeah, up.
Come on, reach.
This is ridiculous.
We know what we're doing.
Trust it.
Get your paws up.
There you go.
That's what we're talking about.
Let's see movement.
Swing your paws like
you're swatting salmon.
- Good.
- I don't know, man.
Give us a snort.
Good old bear snort.
Not with your nose, with your mouth.
Get your lips into it.
- There you go.
- Yeah.
Now lead with your pudding cup.
My pudding cup?
Yeah, your pudding cup, man.
Get it out front. Remove the mystery.
That's good like that.
Who... ?
How would this ever help me?
- Show them the goods.
- This just feels weird.
That's it, looks good.
Come on. Add a roar.
- Rawr.
- The roar.
Put some oomph into it.
Roar.
- Fine.
- Bend those knees.
Get low.
Yeah.
Shake that money-maker.
Swing those arms.
Here's a predator.
Dig a hole.
- Dig a big old bear hole.
- Dig it.
- Get dirty.
- Stop digging.
No, keep digging.
Keep digging.
- What, are you too good to dig?
- That's it.
Through the wickets.
That's good.
Kick up those woodchips.
Look at him, a natural.
Scratch your back.
Scratch it on the tree.
Yeah, he's a bear.
Yeah, he's a bear, baby.
You're the bear.
You're a big bear.
Stop it.
Hi, kids.
Carry them all?
We'll look at the giraffe now.
I appreciate the grub.
No problem.
I popped it myself, so enjoy.
I would have left it in longer.
I like mine burnt a bit.
But I wasn't sure
how you weighed in on that.
This is fine.
Hey, Shane.
I was supposed to tell you
there's a meeting tomorrow at 10.
Okay, cool. Thanks.
Who are you talking to?
No, you know what it is?
Um...
I'm in a one-act play,
and I was rehearsing.
I know both parts because
I'm understudying the other guy.
And something.
Hm.
What's the play about?
Steam ships.
I wouldn't do it around him.
That's when they get you, you see?
When you're not focused.
I didn't do it, you know.
I'm sorry?
I didn't attack him.
Oh, yeah,
he says you did though.
He's a liar, okay?
He never treats us
with any respect.
To get us to move,
he prods us with a long stick
with a nail in the end of it.
One day, I guess I wasn't walking
fast as he wanted me to,
so he swung the stick at me, but I
caught it, and he slipped and fell.
He told everyone I attacked him.
Wow, I never knew any of that.
And my only mistake was assuming
he would tell the truth.
I guess that's what humans do.
They lie.
Not all humans, Bernie.
Look, now,
maybe you got a raw deal,
but sometimes we need
to put the past behind us
and look towards the future,
you know?
I guess sometimes
we all get stuck living in the past.
Yeah.
Look, is there anything else
I can do for you?
Can you get me my view back?
You know, it's not my call.
I miss it, you know?
Seeing the world.
I used to be able
to climb high enough
that I could just catch a glimpse
of a few buildings.
Now all I see is cement.
I wish I could help you, Bernie, but...
I mean, that enclosure's gone.
It's a...
It's where the snack bar is now.
All right.
Do you mind if I ask you
a question?
Anything.
Is T.G.l. Friday's
as incredible as it looks?
It's pretty good.
Your girl's gonna be at the party.
Here's how we get her.
First, answer me this, what do you
think attracts a female to a male?
Looks, success...
Ehh. I'm gonna stop you
right there.
It's pee-pee.
Sorry?
Pee-pee. Smell, scent, chemistry, pheromones.
Bong-ba-da-bong.
Which is why you have to learn
to protect your territory.
Turn everything into a home game.
There's gotta be another way.
There's not. Now,
don't be stingy with the magic.
Watch and learn.
Notice the full extension
of my lift leg.
The proud, soaring arc of my stream.
Yeah.
See how I raised the bar
from the last pee mark.
And voil.
You're up, sunshine.
You know,
I really don't feel like doing this.
The zoo is closed.
You're fine.
All right.
Not there. That's my spot.
Hey, don't give me attitude.
This will help you
at the dinner tonight.
Right here. Fine.
All right, unzip and make it rain.
Okay, you gotta look away.
Such a delicate flower.
Shut it down. Shut it down.
Kate's coming.
What?
I can't.
Snap it.
Be a man. Snap it.
Hey, Griffin,
Rebecca and I are going...
- Hey.
- Whoa!
Hey.
It's gonna be
hard to unsee that.
I'm sorry about that, I...
You know what happened...
The wolf got stung
by one of Venom's Scorpions.
And I was taking him
to the infirmary
and then he started limping bad.
Oh, and the urine will
neutralize the poison.
Exactly, exactly, yes, yes.
And that's why I did it.
I was just peeing on him,
for his health.
Okay, when you finish, I'll give him
an antihistamine just to be safe.
Sounds good.
All right, go ahead.
Hm?
Go ahead. Soak it.
Make sure you get
the whole area.
Sorry.
I have to.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Excuse me, sir.
You do know that we have a functioning
restroom not 20 feet from here.
Oh, you do, good, that sounds good.
Yeah, that's nice.
Have a good evening.
You too.
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
I've set up my territory, I'm about
to show Stephanie my pudding cup.
What?
Yeah, thank you.
Pretty great party, huh?
Yeah, Dave goes all out.
He really does.
Listen, Stephanie, I was thinking,
weddings can be weird
if you're alone and you...
Oh, God.
Oh. Oh.
No, no, don't.
No, it's not you.
It's, it's...
Oh, it's my ex, I broke up with him,
but he showed up here anyway.
Sweetness.
Funny story.
So I go to the fridge to
replenish the old electrolytes
after some cross-training,
and there,
taped to the door, next to the
picture of that kayak I'm getting,
was the invitation to this wedding
that you wanted me to go to.
So here I be.
No, no, no. Gale,
this is an old friend of mine.
Griffin. Actually,
my ex-boyfriend, Griffin.
Griffin, this is
my ex-boyfriend, Gale.
What's up?
Everything.
So listen.
I know we had some stuff,
but I'm making changes.
I sat down with my life coach
and I cleared out everything
except for you.
So suddenly I'm more important
than learning the banjo?
Griffin, you wanted to ask me
something. Remember?
It's very nice meeting you.
That's what people tell me.
What was I supposed to do?
Her ex-boyfriend showed up.
Nothing, fleeing was the right call.
Fleeing is the new fighting.
I know we flee,
but humans are at
the top of the food chain,
so we should ask Joe.
Why are you concerned with
what the stupid lion would do?
Do you realize that if monkeys'
canine teeth were a little bigger,
we'd hold the title,
King of the Jungle?
Let me ask you something,
can the King of the Jungle do this?
Uh... He's behind me.
I saw him mid-flip.
Cut her from the herd.
Cut her from the herd.
That's a good call, Joe.
As long as this other guy's in the
picture, you ain't got a chance.
Next time you see her,
get her alone.
That's how you'll get your girl.
That's how you gonna get your girl
That's how you gonna get your girl
Yeah, yeah
That's how you get a girl
That's how you get a, get a girl
Just focus on the lyrics.
You know what?
It's worth a shot, I'll try it tomorrow.
I basically had
the same advice Joe did,
but he kind of
stole my thunder.
- Coming, Barry?
- Okay, you're not listening.
I gotta be honest,
my legs fell asleep
when we sat down.
I think I'm here overnight.
Hey. Hey, look, my bus was late.
I need a bike.
Sorry, but that wedding party
just cleaned me out.
Yeah, that's my group.
Please, you got to have something.
We're gonna play you a song
A little bit of rock 'n' roll, yeah
You're gonna let yourself go
That's right.
Ha, ha, ha.
Cut her from the herd.
How weak.
Hey, Stephanie.
Whoa, whoa.
- That's how you're playing it?
- Stay away from her.
- Share the road.
- I'm not good at sharing.
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
This is not right.
Smokin'
Stop it, this is...
Very dangerous out here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Get off the road!
Everybody rock 'n' roll
You've got nothing to lose
Just the rhythm and blues
That's all, yeah
We're gonna feel okay
We'll pick you up
And take you away
Get down tonight
Smokin' smokin'
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
Smokin' smokin'
Move it.
Coming through.
Whoa...
Taste the heel.
Hey, easy.
Taste it.
Stop it.
I will not get the deposit
if you do that.
Oh, sweet nanny,
that is painful.
Oh, Jesus. Aah!
That is Fiberglas. Stop it. Ow!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey.
Oh, Grif.
You're like a daredevil.
So listen, I've been thinking...
I was thinking about...
Hold on a second.
Everything just turned light blue.
My body's starting to shut down.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm good.
Okay.
I was thinking about the wedding.
I was wondering if maybe you needed
someone to go with you, that I...
Oh, look, Griffin,
I need to tell you something.
Yeah?
I'm gonna go to the wedding
with Gale.
He was supposed to come with me
before we broke up,
and we had this long talk
and I'm really confused right now.
I hope you understand.
And I hope you understand that
that is fantastic. it's better this way.
Really?
Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
All right. Bye.
Get ready to experience
the hail of Gale.
Cherokee style.
You said to out her
from the herd, I did.
You see, this is what happens.
I should've never listened to you.
We didn't tell you to back down.
Stick to your cozy life
because take it from me,
you would never make it in the wild.
What did you just say?
In the wild, I would never let a rival
dictate the outcome of a situation.
"In the wild"?
You were born in captivity, Joe.
In this very zoo.
I bottle-fed you.
"In the wild." You've never been
in the wild a day in your life.
I could walk 25 yards
and buy a balloon on a stick.
"Wild."
You're missing the point.
Whether you're taking out a rival
or taking down prey,
it's not just the attack,
it's about everything leading up to it.
The females in the pride,
they do the hunting.
We do.
Thank you.
And the fighting.
Mm.
Okay, you know what?
Are you giving the advice?
If you are, I don't need to be here.
Yeah, you heard me, I will walk.
Relax, Joe.
The best way for a male
to attract a female
is to be seen with another female.
If he's going to the wedding,
he needs a date.
That's it. Good night.
Find a date, sweetie.
I'll do that.
So basically you're using me.
Not basically, I am.
This is very junior high,
you do realize that.
It is, I admit it,
I am not proud.
I don't think you should
go through this.
No, I do, I definitely do.
I don't know.
You can't remember the last time
you went on a date.
This isn't a real date. If I'm gonna go on a
fake date, I was hoping I'd fake date a doctor.
Or somebody French.
Please.
If you do this for me, I will give you
half my lunch for the next three years.
You know what?
And this, to sweeten it.
That's a signing bonus, if you do.
Take it, look at that.
All right, I'll go.
But I'm calling you
Francois Dubois, cardiologist.
You can call me Betty,
as long as you're going.
Hey, buddy.
Got a little something for you.
Happy birthday...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's out. it's out.
I'm sorry.
I was just messing with you.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I mean,
don't do that to me.
It's a gelatin cake.
Kate made it for you.
She's a good lady.
Oh, my heart's racing, man.
Was that on a plate?
No, you're good.
Thank Kate for me.
That's it?
You're all birthday-ed out?
I'm sure you got things to do.
Actually, we do.
How are we gonna pull this off?
I don't exactly blend in.
It's simple.
We just tell people
we're going to a costume party.
No one's gonna believe that.
Maybe not at first.
But when you put on this shirt
and talk, they will.
Griffin, I'd hug you, but it's
fifty-fifty I'd crush your spine.
You know what?
Fist bump works.
Ah! My wrist.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Payback, baby. Come on.
Aw...
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
Can I drive?
No, you cannot.
Please?
Sorry, Bern, not happening.
Let me talk to 'em
Shawty had them
Apple-bottom jeans
Boots with the fur
The whole club
Was looking at her
Look at that up there.
She hit the flo'
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low
Them baggy sweat pants
I'm so alive.
She turned around
And gave that big booty a slap
She hit the flo'
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low
Shawty get low
Ain't the same when
it's up that close
J" Make it rain
I'm making it snow J'
Work the pole
I got the bank roll
Take it easy, man.
No problem.
Here it comes, you ready?
Apple-bottom jeans
Jeans
Boots with the fur
Fur
The whole club
Was looking at her
She hit the flo'
She hit the floor
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low Low, low, low
I Come on .J'.J'
Shut up.
Hi, y'all, welcome to Friday's.
Can I interest you in... ?
Yeah, we were just
at a costume party. Uh...
Zookeeper.
Gorilla.
Preppy gorilla.
We noticed there was already
a gorilla so we were like:
"You know what? Let's put wings on
this loser train, get our Friday's on."
- You look so freaking real.
- He does, yeah.
Can I try on your head?
Yeah, no, l... You know, uh...
It's all hooked on
with wires and whatnot.
And stink. This thing
hasn't been washed in years.
I think the last guy who wore it
might have thrown up.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Can I get your order?
I'm just gonna go with the
baby backs and some fries.
And for you?
Thirty oranges.
You're unbelievable
No, Bernie, that's ice. That's cold.
Should've warned you.
It's called a brain freeze.
Gonna get worse before
it gets better. Ride it. Ride it.
Gonna subside in 10 seconds.
Yeah, that's ice, but it's deadly. Deadly.
Being one
Is more than I've ever known
But this time I realize
I'm gonna shoot through
And leave you
We'd like to send that table of
secretaries a basket of zucchini fries.
You got it.
You're unbelievable
Yeah.
You're so unbelievable
My eyes.
Yeah.
You're unbelievable
Baby, we can talk all night
I'm so glad I met you.
I told you everything
I possibly can
I There 's nothing left
Inside of here .J"J"
Penny for your thoughts?
Just hanging out,
enjoying your company.
So there's talk
you might leave the zoo.
I was just upset. Thought that's what
I needed to do to get Stephanie back.
No, Bernie,
I'm afraid you're stuck with me.
I wanna thank you.
Tonight you gave me
more than I could ever ask for.
You're very welcome, Bernie.
You're a good friend.
Hell, you're my best friend.
Uh-oh.
I just made this weird, didn't I?
No, no, not at all.
Okay, good.
Can I try on your watch?
Now it's getting weird.
What are you doing out?
Someone can see you.
No, no one's around.
We were worried about you.
Tell me you're not wearing that
to the wedding.
No, no, I got an outfit.
All set with the other female?
Got it covered,
Kate's coming with me.
Oh, good choice.
Thanks.
Joe, anything else for Griffin?
What would I know?
You're the expert on everything.
God, your mother ruined you.
She did not.
Your mother ruined you.
Has anyone got a game
plan for the ex-boyfriend?
Ooh. We forgot about him.
Look. I couldn't help overhearing.
You wanna intimidate a rival?
You gotta do this.
And if that doesn't work,
assume attack position.
Okay, if I was in a pond
that would be my go-to move.
I respect that.
You better take me with you.
Bernardo.
Oh, my God, it's Bernie.
Hey, that's great.
- Bernie, you made it.
- All right, all right.
Let's not make
a big deal out of this.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Take me along, you know,
just in case you need some backup.
Bern, I gotta do this on my own.
I'll sit at another table.
You won't even know I'm there.
I've got unbelievable mingling skills.
Bernie, you're a gorilla.
Wow.
I can't believe
you just went there.
All right, fine.
But if you get in a jam, call us.
Will do, all right?
We're gonna need
your cell phone.
What?
Hand it over.
Fine. Here you go.
Thanks. Thanks, guys.
All right, everybody back to your
enclosures before the zoo opens.
Where did you get the watch?
Don't you worry about it.
Venom?
I got you.
I've got you covered.
Sure this is gonna help
with the ladies?
Hey, Venom,
I need to ask you a favor...
Franky.
Venom, I need to borrow your car.
Absolutely.
Gonna need your keys.
Oh, yeah, they're in my pocket.
Oh, I had a little dust-up
with the Copperhead.
Yeah, I won't be able to move
the arm for another six hours.
Go get yourself
some keys, brother.
Other pocket.
Thanks.
Ooh
Yeah
When I get high
I get high on speed
Top fuel funny car's
The drug for me
My heart, my heart
Kick-start my heart
Are you kidding me?
What?
You look amazing.
Thank you.
No.
No, you overdid it.
Don't you see?
You look too good for me.
People are gonna know it's a setup.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What did you want me to do?
Come in my work clothes?
No, no, we don't have time now.
Thank you.
Dance
Yeah, you would know.
Here, come here.
Dance
She didn't notice us at the church,
now she's gone. She's just gone.
We tussle a little bit...
There she is.
Then the sea lion lets me go.
Thirty seconds later, I resurface.
And he's killing over there.
What's the game plan here?
This whole depressed energy
is not getting the job done.
- I can't compete with him, all right?
- I don't care.
And to this day, you can't say
my name around Jose Canseco.
I know.
Give me your hand.
What?
Come on.
Boogie wonderland
She's looking.
You positive she saw us?
Yes.
She just looked over here.
Laugh.
What?
Laugh like we're really having fun.
Okay, take it down.
I'm gonna throw up.
No, no, no, it's okay.
Just keep...
Don't look... Turn away...
Oh, God, I just sucked in a fuzz.
Are you okay?
Okay, everybody,
I know tonight isn't about me,
but my beautiful girlfriend,
Stephanie, and I
recently won
a ballroom dancing competition.
I hardly had any lessons,
but I'm wicked athletic
and like I said, we won.
In honor of the bride and groom,
we'd like to perform our dance.
Get up.
This is our song.
This is my song with Stephanie.
No, it couldn't be.
I We got it together, didn't we? I
Are you sure?
Yes.
No. No.
Okay, this is definitely
the song, then.
Maybe it's a coincidence.
It's a very popular song.
Maybe she is thinking about you.
Nobody but you
I'll Wait.
And me
We've got it together, baby
I don't believe this.
This is a clear statement.
It's premeditated, very definitive.
She knew exactly what she was doing.
This is definitely on purpose.
We are...
Okay, okay.
My first, my last
My everything
Can you do any of that?
No.
Okay, you're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it.
Oh, man, they're good.
He's lifting her.
How did they... ? Wait.
They practiced, I have a dress on.
Wait. I can do this one.
Hold me, grab me.
Have you got me?
You know what? I have you.
No one's looking. Get off.
Thank you, thank you.
All right, freestyle.
Us too, over here.
I But I'm lost in a dream .F
You're the first
You're the last
You're everything
He did a push-up.
He did a push-up.
Whoo!
Well, that was really great.
They're, like, the perfect couple.
Hold on a sec.
This is our song.
Come on. Come on.
Did you know
that the female eagle
is attracted to the male
that can fly the highest?
I know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain
Soar with me.
Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow
I Seems to me, girl
You know I've done all I can J'
I You see
I beg, stole and I borrowed .P
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Oh, my gosh.
That's why I'm easy
Yeah.
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me
I've paid my dues to make it
Everybody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy
When I try to fake it
You know what? I'm gonna go get some air.
Okay. Thanks.
That's why I'm easy
Madame, please, don't touch that.
Sorry.
Okay. All right.
That's why I'm easy
Come back here. Get down.
This is prohibited.
Ow!
I wanna be high So high
What's he doing?
I wanna be free to know
The things I do
Are right
I wanna be free
Griffin.
I'm so sorry and I'm gonna
reimburse you for everything.
Don't sweat it.
The ice sculpture was her mother's idea.
How is Robin's leg?
Oh, she's fine.
It was more of a pull than a tear.
I hit her so flush.
She just went with the fall.
The legs were:
Agile.
Yeah, she's bendy.
Don't worry about it. Relax.
All right. Thanks, bro.
Listen.
I don't know what you're trying
to prove with all your ribbons
and your fancy moves,
but what do you say
you just back the hell off?
And what do you say we drop the
moves and we settle this like men?
Okay.
Huh?
Come on, let's go.
I haven't beaten anybody since my birthday.
Wh... Uh...
What's up? We gonna do this?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
It's attack position.
Man, it's gotta suck to be you.
Attack.
Griffin's phone. Go for Bernie.
- I split my pants.
- I'm putting you on speaker.
So how's it going?
What part of "split my pants" don't you get?
My butt's hanging out.
I took out an ice sculpture,
Gale got in my face, it's a mess.
Griffin, if you wanna
give up, I get you.
He's not giving up.
Okay.
Don't back down from that guy.
You get in his face,
make him back down.
As far as the girl goes,
you keep her off balance.
You insult her. That's right.
You make her feel bad.
Then you compliment her.
You knock her down,
you bring her up.
When she seems interested,
walk away.
Throw poop at her.
That's how I met Karen.
You can do this.
- Go.
- Close the deal, Griffin.
Throw the poop.
I'm doing this.
What's up, puppy-breath?
What?
Just saying looking good,
freckle-chest, yeah.
Man, I am hungry.
Ooh. Target sighted.
Griffin, what's going on?
Four words:
I need dessert, go.
God, you're beautiful.
I am?
Yeah, but you're still here.
Oh, dessert, go...
Okay, I'm going.
Thanks, boss.
Whoa, guy, back for more?
Does she talk about me?
Sorry?
Does she mention me?
Does the thought of what
Steph and I had haunt you?
You know, keep you up at night?
You mean the way
you flamed down?
Do we laugh every time we see a
couple riding a horse on a beach?
Oh, yeah.
Not that specifically.
Every time we see
an engagement ring,
a whiskey bottle with a note in it, a
mariachi band, horse stables or sand.
We laugh until we can't breathe.
And then we make out
hard.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Your name's Gale.
What?
You have a woman's name.
No.
No, Gale like Gale Sayers,
the football player.
You wish.
Perfume and teddy bears.
Daddy must have wanted a girl
so he named you Gale.
Watch it.
Oh, sorry, Gale, you're a female.
Hey, man, you better back off.
Want me to back off, Crystal Gayle?
You got problems, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey.
Not in the mood, hammer thumbs.
Griffin, gone.
J' Shake your booty N
We're leaving.
Okay.
So tell me everything.
What was with the robot moves?
I don't know, I panicked.
I also ripped my pants
and cried a little. it's a blur.
That was so fun.
Can we please do this
every weekend?
Just show up at weddings and trash the place?
Because we are good.
You know, forget good, we're great.
And we're bigger than weddings.
We should rob banks.
I'm in.
If you say, "Let us knock off
a gas station," I'd do it right now.
Give me your hand, feel this.
Feel my heartbeat, it's like a rabbit.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Actually, that's not good.
Yeah, no, I gotta get that checked.
Yeah.
And Kate, you were incredible.
Thank you.
I'm really glad that you asked me
to come out tonight.
Francois.
I heard what happened.
I'm so sorry.
Gale can be such an idiot.
Hey, I know you.
You're that little zoo girl, right?
Kate, yeah.
Okay, thank you so much
for saving us from that lion.
Oh, my God, I almost passed out.
I was so scared.
Um...
Grif, do you think maybe we
could go somewhere and talk?
Can we just have a sec?
Sure.
It worked. Can you believe it?
Yeah.
That's... That's amazing.
That's what we came here for, right?
It is, I...
You need to do this.
Yeah?
Yes, yes.
You helped so much, thank you.
No, I'm just gonna take a taxi,
or a shuttle or something.
Go, go.
Are you sure?
I can't believe it, thank you.
Hey, Stephanie.
Hey.
Hi.
Yay.
Okay, let's review your order.
That'll be 64 meat lover's pizzas,
And can I interest you
in our new fudge roll?
Yes.
All right, let's see,
that's a total of $1636. 74.
Will that be cash or credit?
Hang it up, hang it up.
So close.
I am so happy right now.
You know that, ever feel that?
All the time, like...
You happy now?
Because right now I'm happy.
And it's, like, all of a sudden it just
hits you, like, bam, I'm happy now.
Gosh, you know, I have a fashion
show tomorrow, I want you to come.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to work.
Sad face.
How about instead...
What?
You come to the zoo.
I give you a private tour.
That's a terrible idea.
I really thought
you were different.
But the same old zoo stuff.
You know what?
Let someone else zoo-keep tomorrow.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't remember this Griffin.
Yeah, well, you get used to it
because now it's all about you.
Okay.
You know what else?
You got a bat in the cave.
Yeah, she got a booger.
No, don't say that.
Gross.
No, other side, nostril.
Take care of that.
I'm going to the bathroom.
You better.
Don't go anywhere.
Not going anywhere.
Throw out the napkin.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Dead empty when
you get back, woman.
Okay.
In the car crash
I hurt myself
Jurgen. Jurgen.
Stephanie.
Hi.
Kiss, kiss.
This is Jurgen Milraux.
Who is this chaotic pile of man?
He's ruining the vibes here.
He is a waste of space.
I'm sorry, what?
You scream, "Help me,
I'm worthless and funny-looking."
Can I, uh...?
Can I ask you a question?
Yes.
Hey, Siegfried, where's Roy?
What?
How's the chocolate factory,
Willy Wonka?
I'm sorry, but you walked
right into that one, grandma hair.
Grandma hair?
He got the grandma hair,
he got the grandma hair.
I don't understand one word.
Here's what you have to
understand, your face is a poem.
I feel
pleasure.
Whoa, let's put the donkey
back in the barn.
Gonna mingle.
You were awesome in there.
Oh, my God, my friends love you.
You were so great. I gotta say,
you are really getting there.
Hm?
Look, I hope you don't mind,
but I talked to your brother
and you have a job at the dealership
if you want it.
Is that pushy? Hey, you Know what?
Fine, I'm pushy.
It's just...
I think that that zoo is
really holding you back.
You deserve better.
We deserve better.
We?
Good call, Glenn.
An animal like you on this bad boy?
It's top of the food chain.
Follow.
Shana, wanna grab us
an espresso and a Montblanc?
- We're having a signing party.
- Yes, sir.
Enjoy the hunt.
Huh?
Ha-ha-huh.
Dancing.
Back off, Nimer.
You back off.
Oh, not cool.
Yeah.
What's up?
- Welcome to the dream.
- Help!
I don't like this thing!
Make it stop, make it stop!
That looks difficult.
You know what's not difficult?
Giving a supermodel the bad news
that I can't date you because I'm already
dating a supermodel. Ha, ha, ha.
Whoa! Mm.
Yeah.
Wow.
I gotta say, this is incredible.
Where have you been?
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about, I...
It's time.
Oh, God, he's calling,
letting her know he's here.
Watch this, look, look, look.
Aren't they amazing?
Yeah, no, they're great.
They're fast and sincere.
Did you know they mate for life?
I do now.
Listen, Kate, I wanted you
to be the first to know
that I took a job working for
my brother at his dealership.
Shut up.
I'm serious, I figured I'd...
I'd done everything I set out to
do in the zoo game and it was...
The zoo game? What the hell
are you talking about, Griffin?
You love working here, you're great at it.
The animals love you.
Yeah, but maybe that's not enough.
it's time I start thinking about myself.
Okay, is this coming
from you or Stephanie?
No, it's my decision... I mean, she
thinks it's a good idea, but I do too.
Wow.
Not buying it.
You can't see what's happening?
Yeah, I am changing me.
No, she's changing you
into something that you're not.
Well, maybe what I was before
wasn't what I was.
And it is now, maybe, that it is
if it is the way it is.
You're not making any sense.
Makes enough sense that you get it.
Okay, look,
if you wanna quit,
I'm not gonna stand in your way.
But I want you to look me in the eye and
tell me this is what you really want.
It is.
There you have it.
Hey, Bern,
got your favorite.
- Hey, listen, I just wanted to...
- Save it.
I already heard.
You know, you almost had me
convinced things could be different.
That I could actually trust
someone again.
You can.
Oh, I gotta take this. One sec.
Yo, go for Grif.
No, Mohegan blue. Mm-hm.
Chrome Wheel Package, buddy.
Papers are all ready for you,
make it happen, slam it.
All right, gotta go.
Oh, sorry, Bern.
All people lie,
and I was an idiot to believe you.
Hey, Shane.
I'm gonna let you in
on a little something.
Ten years ago, you and
Bernie had an incident.
I know what you did.
I also know you lied about it.
So?
So if you ever do
anything like that again,
I will go to your house and I will
beat you in front of your mother.
Yeah, I'm telling you, Vern, this baby
does zero to 60 in under four seconds.
Yeah, I don't know, I...
I got grandkids.
That's even better.
You stick them back here.
You tell them it's a secret cave.
I can't take it.
I miss Griffin.
I know you can't see it
but my lip won't stop quivering.
He wouldn't be gone if you'd listened.
You talked to him first.
Yeah, he's right, you know?
I can't take it.
You're killing us with the crying.
You were sobbing all night.
I wasn't, I have sleep apnea.
Sounded like baby-crying.
Baby-crying.
What did you say, thumbs?
Come down and say it to my face.
I leave this tree, I'm slapping you silly.
You come down
and I'll use you as a loofah.
How? You have no thumbs.
Oh, yeah? Let's do this.
I'll start from my back. Bring it.
That's it, I'm quitting my diet.
Can't quit something
you never started.
- You know what I think we should do?
- Not a zoo animal!
Hey, Kate.
Hey, Venom.
Oh, what are they doing out?
Grieving. They miss Griffin.
Oh, I know how they feel.
Yeah.
Look, Venom, I'm sorry,
but I'm leaving the zoo tomorrow.
You too?
Yeah.
The eagle enclosure is up and running
so I'm taking a job in Nairobi.
Why?
I was gonna pass because I started
having feelings for someone here,
but he's with somebody else, so...
You know?
I do.
What are you doing?
Oh, what are you doing?
Don't you play possum.
What?
You know?
You started having feelings.
Come on, "someone here."
I was talking about Griffin.
Tragic misread of situation.
Feel as though
you're breathing through your eyes.
Hey, babe, how was your day?
Did you sell a lot of cars?
Three, but you know what?
One guy, he didn't feel like he needed it.
Yay.
Do you love it?
Trying to complete the pose...
Is that a chair?
Yes, it's a Chintoko.
Really?
There's only five in the entire world.
Sit, sit, sit.
Yeah, okay. Yay! I love it.
Isn't it comfy, cozy?
Yeah.
Totally amazing. I just think
this whole place looks so great.
It's really just...
It's coming together.
I'm so happy.
Really gives this whole room a nice zhuzh.
You know what I mean?
Hey, you know what?
I ordered in dinner tonight from Le Chereaux.
Oh, you know what else?
That just reminds me, we have an
absinthe tasting on Mathieu's sailboat.
Yeah, Mathieu.
Do you remember him?
He's disgustingly rich.
Yum.
Okay, I gotta get my yoga. Hey, you think it's bad
feng shui that we have a TV in the living room?
I feel if I do yoga in here,
it will counterbalance
the whole bad juju, you know?
Bad juju of the TV.
Wait till I show you
this new dress I bought.
What's wrong?
Hoping for someone else?
Hungry?
Guys, see that lady there?
I just sold her an extended
warranty we don't even have.
Nice, guy, nice.
We've got a high roller checking
out the Mercedes McLaren.
Knock yourself out, Nimer.
Oh, you got a good eye.
Griffin Constantine Keyes.
Mm.
The changes I've seen in you
these past few weeks have been
nothing short of remarkable.
And I've been doing
a little soul-searching.
And I made a mistake five years ago
on that beach.
And I wanna correct it.
So will you... ?
Yeah, not gonna happen.
What?
Heh.
Come on,
you had to see this coming.
Look, when we first started dating,
you assumed I was gonna turn into the
type of guy you always dreamed about.
But you know what?
I don't like that guy.
I don't like this job.
I don't, bro, I'm sorry.
It's not... Yeah, this I love.
But we'll always have this, you know?
I love you, right? Okay, good.
I don't like this suit.
I don't like our Chintaki chairs.
Chintoko.
Either, I don't like them.
I don't like that I can't understand
But most of all,
I hate who I've become.
I'll ignore them.
Shut up.
Shut up, he didn't say yes.
I'm not gonna pay you.
Come back for your watch?
No, I came back to see if you
were interested in happy hour at Friday's.
Look, if you're here just
to yank my chain...
I'm not. I wanna tell you I'm sorry.
And I know I let you down.
And that you...
You're my best friend.
And, oh, yeah, I, uh...
I dumped Stephanie.
Nicely done.
Yeah.
Hey, what happened to your eye?
It's good to have you back, Grif.
Hey, Griffin, you're back.
Oh, everyone's gonna be so happy.
Right now I gotta go talk
to Kate, okay?
Griffin, Kate's gone.
She's leaving for Africa tonight.
What?
She's on a 9:15 flight.
Oh, man, it's my fault.
I blew it.
It's my fault.
I told you to be someone you're not.
No, you know what? it's my fault.
I was worried you were gonna leave,
I wasn't thinking about you.
It's not my fault.
I said throw poop at her, always works.
Who cares whose fault it is?
There's still time. Let's get Kate.
Follow me, everyone.
Nothing can stand in our way.
Wow, he is really hauling.
Oh, he stopped.
He's eating a pretzel.
Barry is right, I'm going to get her.
Wait, it's bumper to bumper
to the airport. Whoa, almost took off.
My gosh, you're right.
It's rush hour, I'll never make it.
I can get you there.
I'm the fastest animal in the zoo.
Plus, I fit in the bike lane. Hop on.
Hop off, hop off.
New plan. Follow me.
Griffin, I got your back, baby.
Wait, where you going?
Hey, Griffin, you nut.
What are you doing back there?
Nothing, everything is fine.
Can't be in that
area, it's unauthorized.
A guy inside said it's okay.
They will allow it.
Listen, having a party Saturday,
a blowout.
Sounds good, I'm there.
I love blowouts. Whoo!
It's gonna be wild.
I'll see you.
Where you going, Griffin?
Hey, get out.
- I can do this.
- Wait, don't leave.
Okay.
Can't you hear what I'm saying?
Hey, Griffin! I'm saying...
Hey.
Hang on a second.
Where are you going?
Can't leave me here.
I'm out of the zoo without my Izod.
Griffin, what a surprise.
Hi, Mrs. D.
We'll get Wild, Wild, Wild
Hey.
So you say I got a funny face
Ma!
Take a cookie, sweetie.
Oh, thanks, Mrs. D.
Ma!
Come on, the road's blocked.
Yeah, oh...
How about this?
I'll go around the back.
Come on.
What do we do?
Oh, you...
You know what?
A heads up would be nice.
Go, I'll meet you there.
Kate!
Wait, stop!
Kate!
Oh, God, she's gone.
It's over.
It's not over.
Get in.
Stay in sync.
I'm trying.
Your arms are twice
as long as mine.
Hurry, we gotta cut her off
at the bridge or she's gone.
Row, gorilla, row.
Come on, use those big arms, baby.
Now we're doing it.
Row, row, row.
Bernie.
I was kind of hoping
we'd see some steps.
Get on.
What?
Get on my back.
Okay.
You know what?
I don't think I can do this.
I'm afraid of heights.
Oh, no.
Don't look down.
That's not helping.
Don't look up.
Aah! Bernie, I'm looking down.
This is not good, give me your hand.
There she is.
Hurry, she's on the move.
What are you stopping for?
Just be yourself, Griffin.
That's all you need to do.
Now go get your girl.
How?
Griffin?
Kate, hey.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Yeah.
What the hell are you doing?
I was cartwheeling.
What?
I...
Oh, you said...
You said eagles, they mate for life.
Yes.
Well, when an eagle finds its perfect
mate, they cartwheel, right?
That's what they do. They lock their
talons together and spin out of control.
And just before they hit the ground,
they break apart.
The only difference
between me and an eagle is
I will hit the ground
as you've just seen.
You said you were done
with the zoo game.
I thought I had to change
who I was to be happy,
but I was wrong.
Kate, it took me five years to get over
someone I wasn't even in love with.
I can't imagine how long
it would take to get over you.
And on a side note, I may have
crushed an ostrich getting here.
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna know.
He's fine, he's...
No, no.
Yeah, we should get him back,
we should.
it's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old song
They used to play
I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
Wait a sec.
What the heck is Benihana?
You still got your Izod?
it's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old song
They used to play
And I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
Get it.
I can't get it off.
I don't know what that was.
Share the road.
You all right?
Oh!
Are you okay?
Yeah.
When I'm tired
And thinking cold
I hide in my music
Forget the day
I dream of a girl
I used to know
I close my eyes
And she slips away
She slipped away
Bum-bum
What is he doing?
That's a crazy stance
right there.
Ouch!
You don't stay... You...
I mean, you just stay, don't
go anywhere. Ha-ha-ha!
It's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old
song They used to play
I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
Yeah, baby.
Okay, that...
Whoa, man, I feel like I went
through a car wash right then.
All right, all right, be careful.
it's great.
Hey.
What's that?
What?
Check it out.
Hey.
Okay.
Hey, there's a note in it.
Get out of here.
Yes, there is. It says:
- "Will you mar... "
- -Stephanie?
It's no secret
we've been on a journey together.
An adventure.
And I've done a lot of soul searching,
and I know...
this is just right.
So will you marry me?
That's so sweet. No.
Sorry?
I can't.
Really?
I really didn't wanna do this right now
but you're kind of forcing my hand. Um...
I'm thinking we've reached
the end of the line.
Really?
Look, Griffin, I know it shouldn't
bother me that you're a zookeeper,
but it kind of does.
And when we first started
dating, I just assumed
that you would turn into the guy that
I'd always dreamed of being with.
But...
Not your dream guy, I got it.
You had to see this coming.
I bought a ring and rented a horse.
Well, that's not my fault!
Don't yell at me on the beach!
I love...
Stop it!
Do not make this harder
than it has to be. God!
You totally set me up.
Little heads up.
I may have hired a mariachi band.
Oh, there they are.
Just ignore them.
Ignore it.
Thank you, sir.
There you go.
Good morning, Barry.
Come on, Donald, let's move
you out of the sun. Come on.
There you go, buddy.
Nice and shady.
Cherry.
Thanks, Franky.
See you at the party tonight.
Come on, Shane.
What are you doing?
We talked about this.
His food should always be fresh and
placed inside the door out of the sun.
You go down there.
I am not getting jacked up by him again.
It's been 10 years.
Bernie's cool.
Why do you bring
this stuff around here?
You trying to make
the rest of us look bad?
What? No, no.
I feel for him.
He's all alone.
Oh, he's all alone.
Look, it all starts with trust.
Sure.
You won't be so cocky when he's beating
you to death with your own arm.
Hey, Bern.
Got a little something for you.
Looks like things
just got fun around here, huh?
What is this, anyway?
Is this an old tire
or a gateway to adventure?
It's... it's adventure.
It's an adventure.
Hey, Tony. Go.
Hey. How did it go
with the tire swing?
Oh, that good, huh?
Don't know
if he's gonna come around.
Don't get discouraged. Bernie feels what
you're trying to do. All the animals do.
You're like the hippo Whisperer.
I don't know.
Hey, is that
the new release cage?
Yep.
The eagle enclosure's almost done.
I gotta tell you, it is amazing.
Great job.
Thank you.
It's getting a lot of attention.
In fact, I may be sitting on
an offer to work my magic
at the Nairobi Zoo in Africa.
Oh, man.
Ahh...
Wow, that's awesome.
Congratulations.
I'm thinking about it, but...
It's great to be wanted.
You know how that feels.
Oh, I've been in play.
There was a zoo in New Hampshire that
was coming after me pretty hard.
It wasn't so much a zoo.
It was more an animal farm.
But the animals
were nice. Cool.
Not big like here.
We didn't have the...
They had a couple badgers.
A badger and a...
They had a sick raccoon. Sick.
His name was Peter
and he was big.
Hang in there, girl.
Whoa.
What happened?
She's having trouble breathing.
What's happening?
She's stable and She's sedated.
I'm gonna get a trach tube.
Oh, my God. Okay.
What do we do, Kate?
Don't panic, Griffin.
Not breathing. Support her neck.
On my count. One, two, and...
She's a big girl.
She's a big girl.
Griffin, you okay?
Yeah.
There's something blocking her airway.
I need a laryngoscope.
I don't know what a laryngo...
it's in the drawer.
Okay, I got Post-its,
cinnamon Tic Tacs...
It's silver, curved and has a light on it.
Got it.
Come on. There's definitely
something in her throat.
Hold her jaw open.
I'm putting my hand in.
It's stuck.
No, come on.
Oh, God. Okay.
I guess I'm up.
I can't...
Come on.
Okay, I'll hold.
Hold the jaw.
Come on, you can do it.
That's a feeling
I never wanna get used to.
Hurry, hurry.
You can do it, you can do it.
I got it.
She's breathing.
Good luck getting the deposit
back on that one.
You did it.
No, we did it.
We did it.
She's okay.
Oh, God. You're okay.
I You supply the night I
Baby, I'll supply the love
This place looks amazing,
Griffin. No.
Grif, Mom and Dad would have loved this.
Thank you.
Kate.
Hi, Dave.
That's... Kate heads up our eagle program.
That's Robin.
- This is Venom, he is our reptile guy.
- Hey.
How are you?
Oh, you gotta bring it in with him.
Mm. Now onto the fiance.
Okay, Venom, reel it in.
- Okay, that feels good.
- Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, come on.
No, you're not married yet.
Congrats on your big day.
I don't know where you kids are going
for your honeymoon, but Omaha,
stupid with
underground fight clubs.
Okay. Um...
We're gonna circulate.
Yeah.
All right.
Congrats on being hot.
I gots to gets my flows on.
All right, folks.
I'd like to bring up the guy
who is responsible
for putting together
this little party-slash-field trip.
Dave's brother, Griffin.
Whoo! Griffin.
Griffin.
Are you going with Floyd?
Oh, yeah.
Go get them.
I'm getting them.
Let's hear it for him.
Love.
We're all here tonight
to celebrate one thing,
and that's love.
You know, finding the perfect mate
is the most important thing
in the world.
No matter what package
they come in.
I mean, you take Floyd here.
Now, porcupines, they...
They get a bad rap, you know?
And I'm sure you see the sharp quills
and the tough exterior.
But you know what I see?
Just a great guy looking for love.
And that's what Robin sees
in my brother Dave.
Aw.
- To the couple.
- Yeah.
To you guys.
Congratulations.
- All right.
- To Dave and Robin!
Hi.
I... I...
God, what was I, uh... ?
Ahem. Heh.
I, uh...
Sorry, I just lost my train of...
I got a train of... Train.
What I'm basically saying is...
I mean, I'm not...
May not be an expert on love,
you know,
per se.
But I do know a lot about animals.
He's an indigenous...
He's a woodland creature. Ahem.
Did I cover burrowing?
Did I go over burrow
because I don't know if I got... ?
I had a whole thing on burrow.
Did it get hotter, 10 degrees hotter?
Where did that breeze go?
It is hot.
My elbows are sweating.
That's weird.
I don't know why I'm telling
you this now. Oh, boy.
I had so many beautiful things...
I'm just gonna sum up.
I think sum it up,
what I wanted to say.
Dave, Robert, good luck.
That's really what it comes down to.
And anybody who wants to
learn more about porcupines,
I'll be off to the side over here.
Carry on, my wayward son
Yeah. Food for thought,
ladies and gentlemen.
You invited Stephanie?
Sorry to jump you like that.
I didn't even know Robin was
gonna invite her. I'm an idiot.
You still got a thing for her,
don't you?
So, Stephanie, I saw the way
that you were looking at Griffin.
Is something going on?
I don't know.
I guess I feel bad about the
way things ended between us.
I might've been a little rough on him.
A little?
Okay, Robin, a lot.
I'll own it.
Seeing him tonight and up there
in his little uniform and...
So cute.
I don't know, it just reminds me
that he has so much potential.
You deserve a great girl in your life.
But you gotta understand
how the world works.
What's wrong with being a zookeeper?
Nothing, you're the best, okay?
It's just...
Look.
Offer's still on the table
to work at the dealership.
Okay? Because here's you,
the grass, mine's greener.
Dave.
No, I'm serious.
You could make
your annual salary in a month.
That is how you get a girl
like Stephanie.
Come on, this could be
a whole new life for you.
Think about it.
Yeah.
Floyd, right?
I hope my being here doesn't
make you uncomfortable.
I'm not uncomfortable.
So comfortable.
Ah! Ah.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
No, it's fine, it's fine. I got it.
Oh, God, it's barbed.
Okay, so, hey, how you doing?
Still in design school?
No, no, I've been out for a while.
Okay.
I'm a buyer for Saks now.
Oh, that's good.
I see you've been busy.
Lead Zookeeper.
Yes, yeah. You know,
I got the bump last year.
They don't usually until
you've been here 10 years.
I'm only been here eight.
It's basically like getting a black belt
after only a month of karate.
Or mastering a, uh...
Let's see. Um.
That's all I can think of right now.
Just karate, go with that.
Yeah.
So it's good.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's good.
Oh, Griffin, you're bleeding.
No, no.
Yes, yes, you are.
Come here.
Let me get it, come...
I'm not gonna bite.
There.
There you go.
Now you're all better.
Anyway, Robin was talking about
wanting to see
the animals tomorrow,
and we're wondering what are the
odds of getting a private tour?
Not good. Not good at all.
There's a sign-up sheet,
a pretty elaborate waiver.
And you'd have to go through the main
office, which is closed. They close at 4.
Yeah, doesn't sound good.
It's not.
Okay, so we're on our own.
Well, it was really nice to see you.
Okay.
You know?
Bye, Floyd.
Bye, Griffin.
Dave's right.
I gotta get out of this zoo.
- Closing up shop again, Grif?
- Yeah, just had to clean up.
Meeting.
Let's do this. Come on.
What? Oh, nothing.
I wasn't cleaning my basement.
Okay. Here we go.
If this is another eating intervention,
I'm not hearing it.
This is my ideal weight.
Ask the vet.
Come on. Pop the latch.
Yeah, let's go. We want a good seat.
- What do you think this is?
- Am I psychic?
We got the call the same time.
Take it down a peg, just asking.
Bernie.
Hey, we having a meeting.
You wanna come?
You don't.
Don't know why I asked.
Come on.
We're gonna have a meeting.
I'm excited about this.
- I wonder.
- What's going on?
All right.
I got a very busy schedule.
This better be good.
You sleep 20 hours a day, Joe.
I think you'll live.
Okay, things I didn't want
the group to know.
Look, we got a problem.
Remember that chick that broke Griffin's heart?
Well, she is back.
What?
What, Stephanie's back? Whoa.
This is not good.
Griffin's thinking of quitting.
We can't let that happen.
He can't leave.
He's the best zookeeper we ever had.
He keeps my hay fresh and he rubs
lotion on me when I get dry skin.
He makes papier-mach antelopes
for me to attack.
And inside? Muffins.
Oh, I like muffins.
Can I get a "Hey now"?
Plus, he's the only human
who recognizes me as an equal.
In your dreams.
Thumbs, baby.
It's all about the thumbs.
What do you call this?
That's a paw. You can't grab
a coffee mug with that.
You can't wear mittens.
It's useless.
I'm so blessed.
Sorry. One more look.
Griffin saved my life.
Right, I made my decision.
We're not helping Griffin.
Really? Because I remember a time
when you needed help with females.
Namely me.
Remember, you were shy.
You sent your buddy over
to test the waters to make sure.
And then you would, like,
follow me around.
I'd look at you,
you'd look away embarrassed.
Okay. We're helping Griffin.
Now, how do you propose we do it?
Animals are experts on mating.
We tell him how to get her back.
No.
Nobody's talking to Griffin.
You know the code.
We don't ever talk to humans.
You don't break the code,
idiot.
Besides, Griffin's got
no shot at this girl.
That is why you're single, Bruce.
You have no sense of romance.
Herbivore.
Maybe it's possible to help
Griffin without talking to him.
The girl's gonna be here tomorrow
and she's interested.
And how do you know that?
She said, and I quote, "Griffin
has potential." Potential.
All we have to do is make him
look like a hero in front of her.
Then zip-zang, Griffin gets
the girl, stays at the zoo,
everybody wins.
Awesome. We got a plan.
Whoa!
Hey, what's this now?
Wait. You're not
a zoo animal.
Excuse me. Am I standing in the zoo?
Then I'm a zoo animal.
Don't get mad at us because no kid
says, "Mommy, I wanna see a crow."
Okay, that's the captivity talking.
Enough. You've all made your
point, we'll help Griffin.
But no one breaks the code.
- Understood?
- No breaking the code.
Okay, we're helping a human.
This is big.
You started your diet today.
He's not even chewing.
Take a breath.
What, I'm stress-eating.
Stop looking at me!
Much better than the tire we had.
Sorry about that, by the way.
You're gonna enjoy this
a lot more.
I don't know. I made it,
I drilled it and put a ball in there.
Get that baby spinning,
have it land in a circle.
What? Winner, winner,
chicken dinner.
I think you'll like it.
There. There you go.
I'm not sure, kind of like a disco ball.
Look at that. Whoa.
Party at Bernie's. it's fun.
It's gonna be good.
It sucks being alone here, buddy.
I know.
All right.
Okay.
See you tomorrow, Bern.
I don't know.
She just intimidates me, you know?
But you know me.
I don't like to talk about it.
Hey, Griffin.
Hey, Grif.
Hey.
We were gonna
go see the rhinos,
and we were wondering
if you could show us the way.
Uh... You know what?
I can't right now.
I'm feeding the giraffe.
She's eating carrots.
Okay.
Here they come.
See the thumb?
Yeah, yeah, I see it.
Time to make Griffin
look like a hero.
Here we go. Get it together.
All right, here you go.
Anybody looking? No.
Oh, my God.
Joe.
Joe, over here.
Please. This way.
Get them out of there, I'll distract him.
Got it.
Joe.
Oh, crap.
Get in.
Oh, God.
Joe.
Joe? Joe.
- Oy.
- Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Huh?
Oh, I mean:
Wait a sec.
Aah!
Griffin, I know this is weird.
Griffin.
Lion secure, going home.
Haven't you learned anything
from being under my tutelage?
No. No.
Mommy, look, it's going to eat.
Come on.
Yeah, it's on, but, like, on reverse.
Yeah, you should definitely go.
He, uh...
Wasn't saying anything, did he?
What's going on?
J' Down by the river N
He's a good one, yeah.
How much do they weigh?
What's up?
Good night, Griffin.
Good night, Manny. Heading home?
If by "home"
you mean Uncle Bosoms,
I'll be there in the back,
purple couch.
Okay.
All right.
I know you had your dinner,
but this is just a little reward for
what I like to call a winning attitude.
You care to comment on that?
Yeah, I didn't think so. Okay.
Have a good one.
You wanna talk? Let's talk.
You remember nothing.
You remember nothing.
I totally think this is working.
Relax. Calm down, calm down.
Breathe. Breathe.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
He's freaking out.
Look at him, look at him.
What do you think I'm looking at?
You can talk.
Yeah, we can talk.
I can sing pretty good.
I can teach you
how to give yourself a bath.
How did you get out
of your enclosures?
You don't wanna know.
Actually, I do.
Okay, but I don't wanna tell you.
How long have you been
able to talk?
Let's see. Today's Tuesday,
so always.
Always.
Then why haven't you?
Humans can't handle it.
Any time we talk to
humans, it always ends badly.
Except for parrots.
Somehow they get away with it.
"l be parrot.
Happy birthday."
Why did you talk to me?
You saved my mate.
We tried to help you connect with yours.
But you blew it.
I appreciate it,
but you know what?
I had a really bad experience
and I don't like to talk about it.
"Don't like to talk about it."
That's crazy.
We've been hearing about that
breakup on the beach every day
for the last five years.
Okay, I might have mentioned it before
I knew you could understand me.
Come on, man, we heard her talking.
She wants you.
So what if you don't have my great
complexion or my thick, wavy hair?
I would tell you this.
You have nice calves.
Great calves.
Of course I don't have calves.
I basically have columns
with toenails.
So you think I should
maybe ask her out?
Okay. All right, now,
slow it down, hot shot.
You ask Stephanie out,
it's gonna end the same way.
You haven't changed,
you don't trust your instincts.
You listen to us and we turn
you into an alpha male.
I don't know.
I don't think
he's got the size.
Size has nothing to do with it.
We both know who the alpha is.
You're giving me attitude.
That's why I do stuff to your water bowl.
That was you?
You said it was vitamin drops.
Surprise.
Oh, that's it.
Bring it, come on.
it's been brought.
Oh, boy, here we go again.
It's like watching a fight
between two beanbag chairs.
I am tired. I'm back in.
Me too.
You're a good man, Griffin.
You just need a little help.
Yeah. Who better than us
to help you?
- Come on, you honeypot.
- Bring it, big boy.
What have I got to lose?
That's not instilling confidence.
Sorry.
Two more licks.
Is it on, is it on, is it on? Yeah.
Hey.
Thought we'd mix things up
a little today.
Got some organic jambalaya.
You know...
If you ever, uh...
You want anything, I...
You could always ask me.
Hey, how's the, uh...?
How's that ball working out for you?
Lot of fun with the...
Any disco
parties?
All right.
Just leave it by the door.
Come on.
Move. Come on, stupid bears.
Do something.
What is he doing?
Hey. Don't do that.
No, no, no. Hey.
Whoa!
Can we get that?
Okay.
Now, no sudden movements.
I want you to get to your feet.
Slowly walk to the door.
Come on.
They're not gonna hurt you.
Good.
Okay, we're fine, here.
Here we go.
He backed you down.
I didn't see you do anything.
Hey, thanks, guys.
I appreciate you showing
some restraint.
Any other day,
that would've been lunch.
But you showed confidence,
what you're not doing with the girl.
See, when I take down a female, I...
Whoa. Take down a female, you?
Don't know me my whole life.
I did three years in Vancouver.
You got a chick in Canada?
Yeah, I was dating a Kodiak model.
Kodiak model?
She's technically a model.
She was on a tobacco can,
born with an extra claw.
She knew how to use it.
Canadian bears are wild.
Very wild.
She's wild in your dreams.
You don't know squat, Jerome.
Were you there, huh?
I didn't think so.
And what's with the "Jerome"?
Anyway,
you need to unlock
your inner bear.
The only way that's gonna happen
is to do as we say.
And that's how you get your girl.
We get it.
Let's start with your walk.
My... Come on, my walk is fine.
Fine? It's a not, stinking pile.
This time he's got a point.
Come on.
Show us your stuff.
Yup.
My... This is stupid.
My walk?
Wipe that goofy look off your face.
You're a predator.
Act like it.
Get those paws up.
That's what we do.
What was that?
No, no, no.
This guy's untrainable.
We're wasting our time.
Give me one more shot.
Come on, get your paw up.
Yeah, up.
Come on, reach.
This is ridiculous.
We know what we're doing.
Trust it.
Get your paws up.
There you go.
That's what we're talking about.
Let's see movement.
Swing your paws like
you're swatting salmon.
- Good.
- I don't know, man.
Give us a snort.
Good old bear snort.
Not with your nose, with your mouth.
Get your lips into it.
- There you go.
- Yeah.
Now lead with your pudding cup.
My pudding cup?
Yeah, your pudding cup, man.
Get it out front. Remove the mystery.
That's good like that.
Who... ?
How would this ever help me?
- Show them the goods.
- This just feels weird.
That's it, looks good.
Come on. Add a roar.
- Rawr.
- The roar.
Put some oomph into it.
Roar.
- Fine.
- Bend those knees.
Get low.
Yeah.
Shake that money-maker.
Swing those arms.
Here's a predator.
Dig a hole.
- Dig a big old bear hole.
- Dig it.
- Get dirty.
- Stop digging.
No, keep digging.
Keep digging.
- What, are you too good to dig?
- That's it.
Through the wickets.
That's good.
Kick up those woodchips.
Look at him, a natural.
Scratch your back.
Scratch it on the tree.
Yeah, he's a bear.
Yeah, he's a bear, baby.
You're the bear.
You're a big bear.
Stop it.
Hi, kids.
Carry them all?
We'll look at the giraffe now.
I appreciate the grub.
No problem.
I popped it myself, so enjoy.
I would have left it in longer.
I like mine burnt a bit.
But I wasn't sure
how you weighed in on that.
This is fine.
Hey, Shane.
I was supposed to tell you
there's a meeting tomorrow at 10.
Okay, cool. Thanks.
Who are you talking to?
No, you know what it is?
Um...
I'm in a one-act play,
and I was rehearsing.
I know both parts because
I'm understudying the other guy.
And something.
Hm.
What's the play about?
Steam ships.
I wouldn't do it around him.
That's when they get you, you see?
When you're not focused.
I didn't do it, you know.
I'm sorry?
I didn't attack him.
Oh, yeah,
he says you did though.
He's a liar, okay?
He never treats us
with any respect.
To get us to move,
he prods us with a long stick
with a nail in the end of it.
One day, I guess I wasn't walking
fast as he wanted me to,
so he swung the stick at me, but I
caught it, and he slipped and fell.
He told everyone I attacked him.
Wow, I never knew any of that.
And my only mistake was assuming
he would tell the truth.
I guess that's what humans do.
They lie.
Not all humans, Bernie.
Look, now,
maybe you got a raw deal,
but sometimes we need
to put the past behind us
and look towards the future,
you know?
I guess sometimes
we all get stuck living in the past.
Yeah.
Look, is there anything else
I can do for you?
Can you get me my view back?
You know, it's not my call.
I miss it, you know?
Seeing the world.
I used to be able
to climb high enough
that I could just catch a glimpse
of a few buildings.
Now all I see is cement.
I wish I could help you, Bernie, but...
I mean, that enclosure's gone.
It's a...
It's where the snack bar is now.
All right.
Do you mind if I ask you
a question?
Anything.
Is T.G.l. Friday's
as incredible as it looks?
It's pretty good.
Your girl's gonna be at the party.
Here's how we get her.
First, answer me this, what do you
think attracts a female to a male?
Looks, success...
Ehh. I'm gonna stop you
right there.
It's pee-pee.
Sorry?
Pee-pee. Smell, scent, chemistry, pheromones.
Bong-ba-da-bong.
Which is why you have to learn
to protect your territory.
Turn everything into a home game.
There's gotta be another way.
There's not. Now,
don't be stingy with the magic.
Watch and learn.
Notice the full extension
of my lift leg.
The proud, soaring arc of my stream.
Yeah.
See how I raised the bar
from the last pee mark.
And voil.
You're up, sunshine.
You know,
I really don't feel like doing this.
The zoo is closed.
You're fine.
All right.
Not there. That's my spot.
Hey, don't give me attitude.
This will help you
at the dinner tonight.
Right here. Fine.
All right, unzip and make it rain.
Okay, you gotta look away.
Such a delicate flower.
Shut it down. Shut it down.
Kate's coming.
What?
I can't.
Snap it.
Be a man. Snap it.
Hey, Griffin,
Rebecca and I are going...
- Hey.
- Whoa!
Hey.
It's gonna be
hard to unsee that.
I'm sorry about that, I...
You know what happened...
The wolf got stung
by one of Venom's Scorpions.
And I was taking him
to the infirmary
and then he started limping bad.
Oh, and the urine will
neutralize the poison.
Exactly, exactly, yes, yes.
And that's why I did it.
I was just peeing on him,
for his health.
Okay, when you finish, I'll give him
an antihistamine just to be safe.
Sounds good.
All right, go ahead.
Hm?
Go ahead. Soak it.
Make sure you get
the whole area.
Sorry.
I have to.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Excuse me, sir.
You do know that we have a functioning
restroom not 20 feet from here.
Oh, you do, good, that sounds good.
Yeah, that's nice.
Have a good evening.
You too.
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
I've set up my territory, I'm about
to show Stephanie my pudding cup.
What?
Yeah, thank you.
Pretty great party, huh?
Yeah, Dave goes all out.
He really does.
Listen, Stephanie, I was thinking,
weddings can be weird
if you're alone and you...
Oh, God.
Oh. Oh.
No, no, don't.
No, it's not you.
It's, it's...
Oh, it's my ex, I broke up with him,
but he showed up here anyway.
Sweetness.
Funny story.
So I go to the fridge to
replenish the old electrolytes
after some cross-training,
and there,
taped to the door, next to the
picture of that kayak I'm getting,
was the invitation to this wedding
that you wanted me to go to.
So here I be.
No, no, no. Gale,
this is an old friend of mine.
Griffin. Actually,
my ex-boyfriend, Griffin.
Griffin, this is
my ex-boyfriend, Gale.
What's up?
Everything.
So listen.
I know we had some stuff,
but I'm making changes.
I sat down with my life coach
and I cleared out everything
except for you.
So suddenly I'm more important
than learning the banjo?
Griffin, you wanted to ask me
something. Remember?
It's very nice meeting you.
That's what people tell me.
What was I supposed to do?
Her ex-boyfriend showed up.
Nothing, fleeing was the right call.
Fleeing is the new fighting.
I know we flee,
but humans are at
the top of the food chain,
so we should ask Joe.
Why are you concerned with
what the stupid lion would do?
Do you realize that if monkeys'
canine teeth were a little bigger,
we'd hold the title,
King of the Jungle?
Let me ask you something,
can the King of the Jungle do this?
Uh... He's behind me.
I saw him mid-flip.
Cut her from the herd.
Cut her from the herd.
That's a good call, Joe.
As long as this other guy's in the
picture, you ain't got a chance.
Next time you see her,
get her alone.
That's how you'll get your girl.
That's how you gonna get your girl
That's how you gonna get your girl
Yeah, yeah
That's how you get a girl
That's how you get a, get a girl
Just focus on the lyrics.
You know what?
It's worth a shot, I'll try it tomorrow.
I basically had
the same advice Joe did,
but he kind of
stole my thunder.
- Coming, Barry?
- Okay, you're not listening.
I gotta be honest,
my legs fell asleep
when we sat down.
I think I'm here overnight.
Hey. Hey, look, my bus was late.
I need a bike.
Sorry, but that wedding party
just cleaned me out.
Yeah, that's my group.
Please, you got to have something.
We're gonna play you a song
A little bit of rock 'n' roll, yeah
You're gonna let yourself go
That's right.
Ha, ha, ha.
Cut her from the herd.
How weak.
Hey, Stephanie.
Whoa, whoa.
- That's how you're playing it?
- Stay away from her.
- Share the road.
- I'm not good at sharing.
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
This is not right.
Smokin'
Stop it, this is...
Very dangerous out here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Get off the road!
Everybody rock 'n' roll
You've got nothing to lose
Just the rhythm and blues
That's all, yeah
We're gonna feel okay
We'll pick you up
And take you away
Get down tonight
Smokin' smokin'
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
Smokin' smokin'
Move it.
Coming through.
Whoa...
Taste the heel.
Hey, easy.
Taste it.
Stop it.
I will not get the deposit
if you do that.
Oh, sweet nanny,
that is painful.
Oh, Jesus. Aah!
That is Fiberglas. Stop it. Ow!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey.
Oh, Grif.
You're like a daredevil.
So listen, I've been thinking...
I was thinking about...
Hold on a second.
Everything just turned light blue.
My body's starting to shut down.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm good.
Okay.
I was thinking about the wedding.
I was wondering if maybe you needed
someone to go with you, that I...
Oh, look, Griffin,
I need to tell you something.
Yeah?
I'm gonna go to the wedding
with Gale.
He was supposed to come with me
before we broke up,
and we had this long talk
and I'm really confused right now.
I hope you understand.
And I hope you understand that
that is fantastic. it's better this way.
Really?
Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
All right. Bye.
Get ready to experience
the hail of Gale.
Cherokee style.
You said to out her
from the herd, I did.
You see, this is what happens.
I should've never listened to you.
We didn't tell you to back down.
Stick to your cozy life
because take it from me,
you would never make it in the wild.
What did you just say?
In the wild, I would never let a rival
dictate the outcome of a situation.
"In the wild"?
You were born in captivity, Joe.
In this very zoo.
I bottle-fed you.
"In the wild." You've never been
in the wild a day in your life.
I could walk 25 yards
and buy a balloon on a stick.
"Wild."
You're missing the point.
Whether you're taking out a rival
or taking down prey,
it's not just the attack,
it's about everything leading up to it.
The females in the pride,
they do the hunting.
We do.
Thank you.
And the fighting.
Mm.
Okay, you know what?
Are you giving the advice?
If you are, I don't need to be here.
Yeah, you heard me, I will walk.
Relax, Joe.
The best way for a male
to attract a female
is to be seen with another female.
If he's going to the wedding,
he needs a date.
That's it. Good night.
Find a date, sweetie.
I'll do that.
So basically you're using me.
Not basically, I am.
This is very junior high,
you do realize that.
It is, I admit it,
I am not proud.
I don't think you should
go through this.
No, I do, I definitely do.
I don't know.
You can't remember the last time
you went on a date.
This isn't a real date. If I'm gonna go on a
fake date, I was hoping I'd fake date a doctor.
Or somebody French.
Please.
If you do this for me, I will give you
half my lunch for the next three years.
You know what?
And this, to sweeten it.
That's a signing bonus, if you do.
Take it, look at that.
All right, I'll go.
But I'm calling you
Francois Dubois, cardiologist.
You can call me Betty,
as long as you're going.
Hey, buddy.
Got a little something for you.
Happy birthday...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's out. it's out.
I'm sorry.
I was just messing with you.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I mean,
don't do that to me.
It's a gelatin cake.
Kate made it for you.
She's a good lady.
Oh, my heart's racing, man.
Was that on a plate?
No, you're good.
Thank Kate for me.
That's it?
You're all birthday-ed out?
I'm sure you got things to do.
Actually, we do.
How are we gonna pull this off?
I don't exactly blend in.
It's simple.
We just tell people
we're going to a costume party.
No one's gonna believe that.
Maybe not at first.
But when you put on this shirt
and talk, they will.
Griffin, I'd hug you, but it's
fifty-fifty I'd crush your spine.
You know what?
Fist bump works.
Ah! My wrist.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Payback, baby. Come on.
Aw...
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
Can I drive?
No, you cannot.
Please?
Sorry, Bern, not happening.
Let me talk to 'em
Shawty had them
Apple-bottom jeans
Boots with the fur
The whole club
Was looking at her
Look at that up there.
She hit the flo'
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low
Them baggy sweat pants
I'm so alive.
She turned around
And gave that big booty a slap
She hit the flo'
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low
Shawty get low
Ain't the same when
it's up that close
J" Make it rain
I'm making it snow J'
Work the pole
I got the bank roll
Take it easy, man.
No problem.
Here it comes, you ready?
Apple-bottom jeans
Jeans
Boots with the fur
Fur
The whole club
Was looking at her
She hit the flo'
She hit the floor
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low
Shawty got low, low, low
Low, low, low Low, low, low
I Come on .J'.J'
Shut up.
Hi, y'all, welcome to Friday's.
Can I interest you in... ?
Yeah, we were just
at a costume party. Uh...
Zookeeper.
Gorilla.
Preppy gorilla.
We noticed there was already
a gorilla so we were like:
"You know what? Let's put wings on
this loser train, get our Friday's on."
- You look so freaking real.
- He does, yeah.
Can I try on your head?
Yeah, no, l... You know, uh...
It's all hooked on
with wires and whatnot.
And stink. This thing
hasn't been washed in years.
I think the last guy who wore it
might have thrown up.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Can I get your order?
I'm just gonna go with the
baby backs and some fries.
And for you?
Thirty oranges.
You're unbelievable
No, Bernie, that's ice. That's cold.
Should've warned you.
It's called a brain freeze.
Gonna get worse before
it gets better. Ride it. Ride it.
Gonna subside in 10 seconds.
Yeah, that's ice, but it's deadly. Deadly.
Being one
Is more than I've ever known
But this time I realize
I'm gonna shoot through
And leave you
We'd like to send that table of
secretaries a basket of zucchini fries.
You got it.
You're unbelievable
Yeah.
You're so unbelievable
My eyes.
Yeah.
You're unbelievable
Baby, we can talk all night
I'm so glad I met you.
I told you everything
I possibly can
I There 's nothing left
Inside of here .J"J"
Penny for your thoughts?
Just hanging out,
enjoying your company.
So there's talk
you might leave the zoo.
I was just upset. Thought that's what
I needed to do to get Stephanie back.
No, Bernie,
I'm afraid you're stuck with me.
I wanna thank you.
Tonight you gave me
more than I could ever ask for.
You're very welcome, Bernie.
You're a good friend.
Hell, you're my best friend.
Uh-oh.
I just made this weird, didn't I?
No, no, not at all.
Okay, good.
Can I try on your watch?
Now it's getting weird.
What are you doing out?
Someone can see you.
No, no one's around.
We were worried about you.
Tell me you're not wearing that
to the wedding.
No, no, I got an outfit.
All set with the other female?
Got it covered,
Kate's coming with me.
Oh, good choice.
Thanks.
Joe, anything else for Griffin?
What would I know?
You're the expert on everything.
God, your mother ruined you.
She did not.
Your mother ruined you.
Has anyone got a game
plan for the ex-boyfriend?
Ooh. We forgot about him.
Look. I couldn't help overhearing.
You wanna intimidate a rival?
You gotta do this.
And if that doesn't work,
assume attack position.
Okay, if I was in a pond
that would be my go-to move.
I respect that.
You better take me with you.
Bernardo.
Oh, my God, it's Bernie.
Hey, that's great.
- Bernie, you made it.
- All right, all right.
Let's not make
a big deal out of this.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Take me along, you know,
just in case you need some backup.
Bern, I gotta do this on my own.
I'll sit at another table.
You won't even know I'm there.
I've got unbelievable mingling skills.
Bernie, you're a gorilla.
Wow.
I can't believe
you just went there.
All right, fine.
But if you get in a jam, call us.
Will do, all right?
We're gonna need
your cell phone.
What?
Hand it over.
Fine. Here you go.
Thanks. Thanks, guys.
All right, everybody back to your
enclosures before the zoo opens.
Where did you get the watch?
Don't you worry about it.
Venom?
I got you.
I've got you covered.
Sure this is gonna help
with the ladies?
Hey, Venom,
I need to ask you a favor...
Franky.
Venom, I need to borrow your car.
Absolutely.
Gonna need your keys.
Oh, yeah, they're in my pocket.
Oh, I had a little dust-up
with the Copperhead.
Yeah, I won't be able to move
the arm for another six hours.
Go get yourself
some keys, brother.
Other pocket.
Thanks.
Ooh
Yeah
When I get high
I get high on speed
Top fuel funny car's
The drug for me
My heart, my heart
Kick-start my heart
Are you kidding me?
What?
You look amazing.
Thank you.
No.
No, you overdid it.
Don't you see?
You look too good for me.
People are gonna know it's a setup.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What did you want me to do?
Come in my work clothes?
No, no, we don't have time now.
Thank you.
Dance
Yeah, you would know.
Here, come here.
Dance
She didn't notice us at the church,
now she's gone. She's just gone.
We tussle a little bit...
There she is.
Then the sea lion lets me go.
Thirty seconds later, I resurface.
And he's killing over there.
What's the game plan here?
This whole depressed energy
is not getting the job done.
- I can't compete with him, all right?
- I don't care.
And to this day, you can't say
my name around Jose Canseco.
I know.
Give me your hand.
What?
Come on.
Boogie wonderland
She's looking.
You positive she saw us?
Yes.
She just looked over here.
Laugh.
What?
Laugh like we're really having fun.
Okay, take it down.
I'm gonna throw up.
No, no, no, it's okay.
Just keep...
Don't look... Turn away...
Oh, God, I just sucked in a fuzz.
Are you okay?
Okay, everybody,
I know tonight isn't about me,
but my beautiful girlfriend,
Stephanie, and I
recently won
a ballroom dancing competition.
I hardly had any lessons,
but I'm wicked athletic
and like I said, we won.
In honor of the bride and groom,
we'd like to perform our dance.
Get up.
This is our song.
This is my song with Stephanie.
No, it couldn't be.
I We got it together, didn't we? I
Are you sure?
Yes.
No. No.
Okay, this is definitely
the song, then.
Maybe it's a coincidence.
It's a very popular song.
Maybe she is thinking about you.
Nobody but you
I'll Wait.
And me
We've got it together, baby
I don't believe this.
This is a clear statement.
It's premeditated, very definitive.
She knew exactly what she was doing.
This is definitely on purpose.
We are...
Okay, okay.
My first, my last
My everything
Can you do any of that?
No.
Okay, you're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it.
Oh, man, they're good.
He's lifting her.
How did they... ? Wait.
They practiced, I have a dress on.
Wait. I can do this one.
Hold me, grab me.
Have you got me?
You know what? I have you.
No one's looking. Get off.
Thank you, thank you.
All right, freestyle.
Us too, over here.
I But I'm lost in a dream .F
You're the first
You're the last
You're everything
He did a push-up.
He did a push-up.
Whoo!
Well, that was really great.
They're, like, the perfect couple.
Hold on a sec.
This is our song.
Come on. Come on.
Did you know
that the female eagle
is attracted to the male
that can fly the highest?
I know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain
Soar with me.
Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow
I Seems to me, girl
You know I've done all I can J'
I You see
I beg, stole and I borrowed .P
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Oh, my gosh.
That's why I'm easy
Yeah.
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me
I've paid my dues to make it
Everybody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy
When I try to fake it
You know what? I'm gonna go get some air.
Okay. Thanks.
That's why I'm easy
Madame, please, don't touch that.
Sorry.
Okay. All right.
That's why I'm easy
Come back here. Get down.
This is prohibited.
Ow!
I wanna be high So high
What's he doing?
I wanna be free to know
The things I do
Are right
I wanna be free
Griffin.
I'm so sorry and I'm gonna
reimburse you for everything.
Don't sweat it.
The ice sculpture was her mother's idea.
How is Robin's leg?
Oh, she's fine.
It was more of a pull than a tear.
I hit her so flush.
She just went with the fall.
The legs were:
Agile.
Yeah, she's bendy.
Don't worry about it. Relax.
All right. Thanks, bro.
Listen.
I don't know what you're trying
to prove with all your ribbons
and your fancy moves,
but what do you say
you just back the hell off?
And what do you say we drop the
moves and we settle this like men?
Okay.
Huh?
Come on, let's go.
I haven't beaten anybody since my birthday.
Wh... Uh...
What's up? We gonna do this?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
It's attack position.
Man, it's gotta suck to be you.
Attack.
Griffin's phone. Go for Bernie.
- I split my pants.
- I'm putting you on speaker.
So how's it going?
What part of "split my pants" don't you get?
My butt's hanging out.
I took out an ice sculpture,
Gale got in my face, it's a mess.
Griffin, if you wanna
give up, I get you.
He's not giving up.
Okay.
Don't back down from that guy.
You get in his face,
make him back down.
As far as the girl goes,
you keep her off balance.
You insult her. That's right.
You make her feel bad.
Then you compliment her.
You knock her down,
you bring her up.
When she seems interested,
walk away.
Throw poop at her.
That's how I met Karen.
You can do this.
- Go.
- Close the deal, Griffin.
Throw the poop.
I'm doing this.
What's up, puppy-breath?
What?
Just saying looking good,
freckle-chest, yeah.
Man, I am hungry.
Ooh. Target sighted.
Griffin, what's going on?
Four words:
I need dessert, go.
God, you're beautiful.
I am?
Yeah, but you're still here.
Oh, dessert, go...
Okay, I'm going.
Thanks, boss.
Whoa, guy, back for more?
Does she talk about me?
Sorry?
Does she mention me?
Does the thought of what
Steph and I had haunt you?
You know, keep you up at night?
You mean the way
you flamed down?
Do we laugh every time we see a
couple riding a horse on a beach?
Oh, yeah.
Not that specifically.
Every time we see
an engagement ring,
a whiskey bottle with a note in it, a
mariachi band, horse stables or sand.
We laugh until we can't breathe.
And then we make out
hard.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Your name's Gale.
What?
You have a woman's name.
No.
No, Gale like Gale Sayers,
the football player.
You wish.
Perfume and teddy bears.
Daddy must have wanted a girl
so he named you Gale.
Watch it.
Oh, sorry, Gale, you're a female.
Hey, man, you better back off.
Want me to back off, Crystal Gayle?
You got problems, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey.
Not in the mood, hammer thumbs.
Griffin, gone.
J' Shake your booty N
We're leaving.
Okay.
So tell me everything.
What was with the robot moves?
I don't know, I panicked.
I also ripped my pants
and cried a little. it's a blur.
That was so fun.
Can we please do this
every weekend?
Just show up at weddings and trash the place?
Because we are good.
You know, forget good, we're great.
And we're bigger than weddings.
We should rob banks.
I'm in.
If you say, "Let us knock off
a gas station," I'd do it right now.
Give me your hand, feel this.
Feel my heartbeat, it's like a rabbit.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Actually, that's not good.
Yeah, no, I gotta get that checked.
Yeah.
And Kate, you were incredible.
Thank you.
I'm really glad that you asked me
to come out tonight.
Francois.
I heard what happened.
I'm so sorry.
Gale can be such an idiot.
Hey, I know you.
You're that little zoo girl, right?
Kate, yeah.
Okay, thank you so much
for saving us from that lion.
Oh, my God, I almost passed out.
I was so scared.
Um...
Grif, do you think maybe we
could go somewhere and talk?
Can we just have a sec?
Sure.
It worked. Can you believe it?
Yeah.
That's... That's amazing.
That's what we came here for, right?
It is, I...
You need to do this.
Yeah?
Yes, yes.
You helped so much, thank you.
No, I'm just gonna take a taxi,
or a shuttle or something.
Go, go.
Are you sure?
I can't believe it, thank you.
Hey, Stephanie.
Hey.
Hi.
Yay.
Okay, let's review your order.
That'll be 64 meat lover's pizzas,
And can I interest you
in our new fudge roll?
Yes.
All right, let's see,
that's a total of $1636. 74.
Will that be cash or credit?
Hang it up, hang it up.
So close.
I am so happy right now.
You know that, ever feel that?
All the time, like...
You happy now?
Because right now I'm happy.
And it's, like, all of a sudden it just
hits you, like, bam, I'm happy now.
Gosh, you know, I have a fashion
show tomorrow, I want you to come.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to work.
Sad face.
How about instead...
What?
You come to the zoo.
I give you a private tour.
That's a terrible idea.
I really thought
you were different.
But the same old zoo stuff.
You know what?
Let someone else zoo-keep tomorrow.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't remember this Griffin.
Yeah, well, you get used to it
because now it's all about you.
Okay.
You know what else?
You got a bat in the cave.
Yeah, she got a booger.
No, don't say that.
Gross.
No, other side, nostril.
Take care of that.
I'm going to the bathroom.
You better.
Don't go anywhere.
Not going anywhere.
Throw out the napkin.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Dead empty when
you get back, woman.
Okay.
In the car crash
I hurt myself
Jurgen. Jurgen.
Stephanie.
Hi.
Kiss, kiss.
This is Jurgen Milraux.
Who is this chaotic pile of man?
He's ruining the vibes here.
He is a waste of space.
I'm sorry, what?
You scream, "Help me,
I'm worthless and funny-looking."
Can I, uh...?
Can I ask you a question?
Yes.
Hey, Siegfried, where's Roy?
What?
How's the chocolate factory,
Willy Wonka?
I'm sorry, but you walked
right into that one, grandma hair.
Grandma hair?
He got the grandma hair,
he got the grandma hair.
I don't understand one word.
Here's what you have to
understand, your face is a poem.
I feel
pleasure.
Whoa, let's put the donkey
back in the barn.
Gonna mingle.
You were awesome in there.
Oh, my God, my friends love you.
You were so great. I gotta say,
you are really getting there.
Hm?
Look, I hope you don't mind,
but I talked to your brother
and you have a job at the dealership
if you want it.
Is that pushy? Hey, you Know what?
Fine, I'm pushy.
It's just...
I think that that zoo is
really holding you back.
You deserve better.
We deserve better.
We?
Good call, Glenn.
An animal like you on this bad boy?
It's top of the food chain.
Follow.
Shana, wanna grab us
an espresso and a Montblanc?
- We're having a signing party.
- Yes, sir.
Enjoy the hunt.
Huh?
Ha-ha-huh.
Dancing.
Back off, Nimer.
You back off.
Oh, not cool.
Yeah.
What's up?
- Welcome to the dream.
- Help!
I don't like this thing!
Make it stop, make it stop!
That looks difficult.
You know what's not difficult?
Giving a supermodel the bad news
that I can't date you because I'm already
dating a supermodel. Ha, ha, ha.
Whoa! Mm.
Yeah.
Wow.
I gotta say, this is incredible.
Where have you been?
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about, I...
It's time.
Oh, God, he's calling,
letting her know he's here.
Watch this, look, look, look.
Aren't they amazing?
Yeah, no, they're great.
They're fast and sincere.
Did you know they mate for life?
I do now.
Listen, Kate, I wanted you
to be the first to know
that I took a job working for
my brother at his dealership.
Shut up.
I'm serious, I figured I'd...
I'd done everything I set out to
do in the zoo game and it was...
The zoo game? What the hell
are you talking about, Griffin?
You love working here, you're great at it.
The animals love you.
Yeah, but maybe that's not enough.
it's time I start thinking about myself.
Okay, is this coming
from you or Stephanie?
No, it's my decision... I mean, she
thinks it's a good idea, but I do too.
Wow.
Not buying it.
You can't see what's happening?
Yeah, I am changing me.
No, she's changing you
into something that you're not.
Well, maybe what I was before
wasn't what I was.
And it is now, maybe, that it is
if it is the way it is.
You're not making any sense.
Makes enough sense that you get it.
Okay, look,
if you wanna quit,
I'm not gonna stand in your way.
But I want you to look me in the eye and
tell me this is what you really want.
It is.
There you have it.
Hey, Bern,
got your favorite.
- Hey, listen, I just wanted to...
- Save it.
I already heard.
You know, you almost had me
convinced things could be different.
That I could actually trust
someone again.
You can.
Oh, I gotta take this. One sec.
Yo, go for Grif.
No, Mohegan blue. Mm-hm.
Chrome Wheel Package, buddy.
Papers are all ready for you,
make it happen, slam it.
All right, gotta go.
Oh, sorry, Bern.
All people lie,
and I was an idiot to believe you.
Hey, Shane.
I'm gonna let you in
on a little something.
Ten years ago, you and
Bernie had an incident.
I know what you did.
I also know you lied about it.
So?
So if you ever do
anything like that again,
I will go to your house and I will
beat you in front of your mother.
Yeah, I'm telling you, Vern, this baby
does zero to 60 in under four seconds.
Yeah, I don't know, I...
I got grandkids.
That's even better.
You stick them back here.
You tell them it's a secret cave.
I can't take it.
I miss Griffin.
I know you can't see it
but my lip won't stop quivering.
He wouldn't be gone if you'd listened.
You talked to him first.
Yeah, he's right, you know?
I can't take it.
You're killing us with the crying.
You were sobbing all night.
I wasn't, I have sleep apnea.
Sounded like baby-crying.
Baby-crying.
What did you say, thumbs?
Come down and say it to my face.
I leave this tree, I'm slapping you silly.
You come down
and I'll use you as a loofah.
How? You have no thumbs.
Oh, yeah? Let's do this.
I'll start from my back. Bring it.
That's it, I'm quitting my diet.
Can't quit something
you never started.
- You know what I think we should do?
- Not a zoo animal!
Hey, Kate.
Hey, Venom.
Oh, what are they doing out?
Grieving. They miss Griffin.
Oh, I know how they feel.
Yeah.
Look, Venom, I'm sorry,
but I'm leaving the zoo tomorrow.
You too?
Yeah.
The eagle enclosure is up and running
so I'm taking a job in Nairobi.
Why?
I was gonna pass because I started
having feelings for someone here,
but he's with somebody else, so...
You know?
I do.
What are you doing?
Oh, what are you doing?
Don't you play possum.
What?
You know?
You started having feelings.
Come on, "someone here."
I was talking about Griffin.
Tragic misread of situation.
Feel as though
you're breathing through your eyes.
Hey, babe, how was your day?
Did you sell a lot of cars?
Three, but you know what?
One guy, he didn't feel like he needed it.
Yay.
Do you love it?
Trying to complete the pose...
Is that a chair?
Yes, it's a Chintoko.
Really?
There's only five in the entire world.
Sit, sit, sit.
Yeah, okay. Yay! I love it.
Isn't it comfy, cozy?
Yeah.
Totally amazing. I just think
this whole place looks so great.
It's really just...
It's coming together.
I'm so happy.
Really gives this whole room a nice zhuzh.
You know what I mean?
Hey, you know what?
I ordered in dinner tonight from Le Chereaux.
Oh, you know what else?
That just reminds me, we have an
absinthe tasting on Mathieu's sailboat.
Yeah, Mathieu.
Do you remember him?
He's disgustingly rich.
Yum.
Okay, I gotta get my yoga. Hey, you think it's bad
feng shui that we have a TV in the living room?
I feel if I do yoga in here,
it will counterbalance
the whole bad juju, you know?
Bad juju of the TV.
Wait till I show you
this new dress I bought.
What's wrong?
Hoping for someone else?
Hungry?
Guys, see that lady there?
I just sold her an extended
warranty we don't even have.
Nice, guy, nice.
We've got a high roller checking
out the Mercedes McLaren.
Knock yourself out, Nimer.
Oh, you got a good eye.
Griffin Constantine Keyes.
Mm.
The changes I've seen in you
these past few weeks have been
nothing short of remarkable.
And I've been doing
a little soul-searching.
And I made a mistake five years ago
on that beach.
And I wanna correct it.
So will you... ?
Yeah, not gonna happen.
What?
Heh.
Come on,
you had to see this coming.
Look, when we first started dating,
you assumed I was gonna turn into the
type of guy you always dreamed about.
But you know what?
I don't like that guy.
I don't like this job.
I don't, bro, I'm sorry.
It's not... Yeah, this I love.
But we'll always have this, you know?
I love you, right? Okay, good.
I don't like this suit.
I don't like our Chintaki chairs.
Chintoko.
Either, I don't like them.
I don't like that I can't understand
But most of all,
I hate who I've become.
I'll ignore them.
Shut up.
Shut up, he didn't say yes.
I'm not gonna pay you.
Come back for your watch?
No, I came back to see if you
were interested in happy hour at Friday's.
Look, if you're here just
to yank my chain...
I'm not. I wanna tell you I'm sorry.
And I know I let you down.
And that you...
You're my best friend.
And, oh, yeah, I, uh...
I dumped Stephanie.
Nicely done.
Yeah.
Hey, what happened to your eye?
It's good to have you back, Grif.
Hey, Griffin, you're back.
Oh, everyone's gonna be so happy.
Right now I gotta go talk
to Kate, okay?
Griffin, Kate's gone.
She's leaving for Africa tonight.
What?
She's on a 9:15 flight.
Oh, man, it's my fault.
I blew it.
It's my fault.
I told you to be someone you're not.
No, you know what? it's my fault.
I was worried you were gonna leave,
I wasn't thinking about you.
It's not my fault.
I said throw poop at her, always works.
Who cares whose fault it is?
There's still time. Let's get Kate.
Follow me, everyone.
Nothing can stand in our way.
Wow, he is really hauling.
Oh, he stopped.
He's eating a pretzel.
Barry is right, I'm going to get her.
Wait, it's bumper to bumper
to the airport. Whoa, almost took off.
My gosh, you're right.
It's rush hour, I'll never make it.
I can get you there.
I'm the fastest animal in the zoo.
Plus, I fit in the bike lane. Hop on.
Hop off, hop off.
New plan. Follow me.
Griffin, I got your back, baby.
Wait, where you going?
Hey, Griffin, you nut.
What are you doing back there?
Nothing, everything is fine.
Can't be in that
area, it's unauthorized.
A guy inside said it's okay.
They will allow it.
Listen, having a party Saturday,
a blowout.
Sounds good, I'm there.
I love blowouts. Whoo!
It's gonna be wild.
I'll see you.
Where you going, Griffin?
Hey, get out.
- I can do this.
- Wait, don't leave.
Okay.
Can't you hear what I'm saying?
Hey, Griffin! I'm saying...
Hey.
Hang on a second.
Where are you going?
Can't leave me here.
I'm out of the zoo without my Izod.
Griffin, what a surprise.
Hi, Mrs. D.
We'll get Wild, Wild, Wild
Hey.
So you say I got a funny face
Ma!
Take a cookie, sweetie.
Oh, thanks, Mrs. D.
Ma!
Come on, the road's blocked.
Yeah, oh...
How about this?
I'll go around the back.
Come on.
What do we do?
Oh, you...
You know what?
A heads up would be nice.
Go, I'll meet you there.
Kate!
Wait, stop!
Kate!
Oh, God, she's gone.
It's over.
It's not over.
Get in.
Stay in sync.
I'm trying.
Your arms are twice
as long as mine.
Hurry, we gotta cut her off
at the bridge or she's gone.
Row, gorilla, row.
Come on, use those big arms, baby.
Now we're doing it.
Row, row, row.
Bernie.
I was kind of hoping
we'd see some steps.
Get on.
What?
Get on my back.
Okay.
You know what?
I don't think I can do this.
I'm afraid of heights.
Oh, no.
Don't look down.
That's not helping.
Don't look up.
Aah! Bernie, I'm looking down.
This is not good, give me your hand.
There she is.
Hurry, she's on the move.
What are you stopping for?
Just be yourself, Griffin.
That's all you need to do.
Now go get your girl.
How?
Griffin?
Kate, hey.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Yeah.
What the hell are you doing?
I was cartwheeling.
What?
I...
Oh, you said...
You said eagles, they mate for life.
Yes.
Well, when an eagle finds its perfect
mate, they cartwheel, right?
That's what they do. They lock their
talons together and spin out of control.
And just before they hit the ground,
they break apart.
The only difference
between me and an eagle is
I will hit the ground
as you've just seen.
You said you were done
with the zoo game.
I thought I had to change
who I was to be happy,
but I was wrong.
Kate, it took me five years to get over
someone I wasn't even in love with.
I can't imagine how long
it would take to get over you.
And on a side note, I may have
crushed an ostrich getting here.
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna know.
He's fine, he's...
No, no.
Yeah, we should get him back,
we should.
it's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old song
They used to play
I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
Wait a sec.
What the heck is Benihana?
You still got your Izod?
it's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old song
They used to play
And I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away
Get it.
I can't get it off.
I don't know what that was.
Share the road.
You all right?
Oh!
Are you okay?
Yeah.
When I'm tired
And thinking cold
I hide in my music
Forget the day
I dream of a girl
I used to know
I close my eyes
And she slips away
She slipped away
Bum-bum
What is he doing?
That's a crazy stance
right there.
Ouch!
You don't stay... You...
I mean, you just stay, don't
go anywhere. Ha-ha-ha!
It's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
When I hear that old
song They used to play
I begin dreaming
More than a feeling
Till I see Marianne walk away
Yeah, baby.
Okay, that...
Whoa, man, I feel like I went
through a car wash right then.
All right, all right, be careful.