Gravity Falls (2012) s00e07 Episode Script
Mabel's Guide to Life (Short 1): Dating
And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Fitness.
With Waddles, the Jog Hog.
[Music.]
You want that sundae? You gotta jog for it, Jog Hog! Look at his little shorts.
[Title music.]
[Mabel scatting.]
MABEL: Today Mabel's Guide to Dating! As we all know, I'm a dating expert.
In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone! [lower voice.]
Mabel, I love you so much, baby.
Why won't you let me into your life? You know what you did, Zach! Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls' swingin-est bachelors.
- Soos! - Get ready to fall in love, America! - Am I Am I looking at the right camera? - Dipper! - Who are you even making this for? - Grunkle Stan! I'm only here 'cause you promised bacon.
[Chomps.]
I'm pacified! And now for a simple 9,000 question dating quiz.
"Should men always pay for dinner?" - What is this, Russia? - "How many kids would you like to have?" Seven, preferably.
That's one to love every day - of the week.
- "How do you treat a gal?" Huh.
Well, hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says, obviously.
- Nailing this.
- While they're busy working, we give you, "Animal Dating!" [Music.]
[Screaming.]
Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, - you scored a three.
- Yes! Yes! This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady - plumbers and convicts.
- I still consider this a victory.
Dipper, your score is Yeesh! You know, scores don't really matter.
You just need to focus on being you.
Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored a twelve? My grandma was right all along.
I am the world's most perfect man! [Anjelic choir.]
Love is all around us.
And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit, force it! Oh, no, the squirrels! They're back! Aaah! Save me, Mr.
Rhino, save me!
With Waddles, the Jog Hog.
[Music.]
You want that sundae? You gotta jog for it, Jog Hog! Look at his little shorts.
[Title music.]
[Mabel scatting.]
MABEL: Today Mabel's Guide to Dating! As we all know, I'm a dating expert.
In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone! [lower voice.]
Mabel, I love you so much, baby.
Why won't you let me into your life? You know what you did, Zach! Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls' swingin-est bachelors.
- Soos! - Get ready to fall in love, America! - Am I Am I looking at the right camera? - Dipper! - Who are you even making this for? - Grunkle Stan! I'm only here 'cause you promised bacon.
[Chomps.]
I'm pacified! And now for a simple 9,000 question dating quiz.
"Should men always pay for dinner?" - What is this, Russia? - "How many kids would you like to have?" Seven, preferably.
That's one to love every day - of the week.
- "How do you treat a gal?" Huh.
Well, hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says, obviously.
- Nailing this.
- While they're busy working, we give you, "Animal Dating!" [Music.]
[Screaming.]
Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, - you scored a three.
- Yes! Yes! This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady - plumbers and convicts.
- I still consider this a victory.
Dipper, your score is Yeesh! You know, scores don't really matter.
You just need to focus on being you.
Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored a twelve? My grandma was right all along.
I am the world's most perfect man! [Anjelic choir.]
Love is all around us.
And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit, force it! Oh, no, the squirrels! They're back! Aaah! Save me, Mr.
Rhino, save me!