Buffy the Vampire Slayer s01e00 Episode Script

1 Are you sure this is a good idea? It's a great idea.
So, you go to school here? I used to.
It's nice.
Gets better.
Come on.
Wow.
Pretty cool, huh? I could've fallen.
I would've caught you.
What was that? What was what? I heard a noise.
It's nothin'.
Maybe it's something.
Maybe it's some thing.
It's not funny.
Hello! There's nobody here.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
OK.
I don't think you'll have any problem adjusting, Bunny.
Buffy.
Just remember our personal rules.
No gang colors, no fur, No hanging from the rafters in the cafeteria screaming: "Meat is murder!" on Sloppy Joe day.
That became very popular last month.
I had to put my foot down.
- Proncipal Flutie - Betty? I just want you to Buffy.
.
.
to know that I'm not gonna cause trouble.
There's not gonna be any incidents like at my old school.
I certainly hope not! No.
I'm gonna have fun.
But I mean learning.
Fun with learning.
Don't worry.
I think you'll fit in just fine.
Willow! You're so very much person I wanted to see.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
You know, I kinda have a problem with the math.
- Which part? - The math.
Can you help me out third period? Please be my study buddy.
- What's in it for me? - A shiny nickel.
OK.
But you shouldn't be having a problem with it, Xander Mr.
Worth says you never pay attention.
I pay attention.
Just not to him.
Willow.
Nice dress.
Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears! Hey, Cordelia.
Are you going to the Bronze tonight? Not with you.
- But we're going, right? - Who's playing? - Dingoes Ate My Baby.
- They rock.
Grunge, wow! What a new look! I knew flannel's so over but I can never tell what's coming next! I don't know about you, bit I'm scared! Excuse me, was I talking to you? Has any girl ever spoken to you of her own free will? I don't think so.
You know, I've often wondered why that is.
Got a mirror? Check back tomorrow.
I'll have that devastating comeback ready.
- Ooo! - Oh! Sorry about that.
That's OK.
I was totally phasing.
I'm trying to find the library.
- It's over there.
- Thanks.
I don't know you, do I? I'm Buffy.
I'm new.
You're new and improved.
Oh! Hey, you forgot your stake.
Hello! Hi! Is anybody here? Oh! Anybody's here.
Can I help you? Textbooks.
I'm I'm looking for textbooks.
- Miss Summers? - Good call.
Guess, I'm the only new kid, huh? So, I'm taking Eurocentric history, and I'm gonna need I think I know what you're after.
That's not what I'm looking for.
- Are you sure? - I'm way sure.
My mistake.
What is it you said you wanted? - Hi.
- Hi.
Mr Barnes said I should help you get caught up, if you're having trouble Or I could not No, that'd be great.
History isn't my best subject.
I sort of lack a best subject.
I'm Buffy.
I know.
I'm Willow.
Good to meet you.
- That's a great outfit.
- Thanks.
I'm totally jamming on your dress.
Oh, no.
It's dorky.
I'm aware that it's dorky.
Not a jot.
It's lush.
Laura Ashley's definitely back.
- You think? - She's back, and this time it's personal.
You see, that mated her with the Home Depot guy, - and that's how we got Martha Stewart.
- Wow.
Can I ask you? What's up with the school librarian? - You met Mr.
Giles.
- Yeah.
Is he new? He started a few weeks ago.
He used to be the curator of some British museum.
I don't know why he'd work here, except that we do have some… pretty im-portant collections.
- Hi.
I'm Cordelia.
- Hi.
I just thought we'd be a little welcoming committee.
Help you get adjusted, explain who to hang with, and why.
- Thanks.
- Quite frankly, when I saw those shoes I knew there was a beautiful bond of sisterhood between us.
Really! I was very, very moved.
The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me.
What kind of name is "Buffy"? - Hey, Aphrodesia.
- Hey.
Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out and that's why she's starting in the middle of the semester.
- Neg! - Pos.
She was starting fights! Negly.
Well, I heard from Blue, and she said that she saw the transcript I've been trying to work this out.
And all I can figure is that you're building a really little fence.
Oh, this er no! Actually it was for self-defence.
My last school was kind of interesting.
Well, it's pretty mellow here.
You'll be fine once you know your way around.
Ah, those guys? The Housers.
They'd be genuine hard-core gangstas except for the upper-class white guy stigma.
Total wannabies, but they're OK.
Ah! The Panga Inbreeds.
Dudes! Surf's always up somewhere in the world? Guess it's not that different on my side of the hill.
Well, try your hand at it.
OK, let's see um That would have to be the Theater Club.
Oh, well spotted.
What gave it away? They're always way gesture-y.
What is the homework? I didn't GET the homework! And them? Ah film club.
They spend their time deciding that every movie is an Existential meditation on Freudian sexuality.
- Even 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'? - Especially 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'.
Ah the Dirty Girls.
Why do you call them Oh, wow.
They have 'views' on hygiene.
It's pretty intense.
- So which group are you affiliated with? - Well, I've applied to a few, but doesn't look good.
Oh, I haven't heard back from the Dirty Girls.
Willow! You've met Buffy, right? She might be going to the Bronze tonight.
- Willow, what's wrong? - You didn't hear? Hear what? In the women's locker room, they found someone.
And? - I mean, someone - Dead.
- Dead? - Way dead! So not just a little dead then.
Don't you have an elsewhere to be? - Are you, guys, sure? - I heard it from Ms Ramsey.
- He was in a locker.
- I heard he used to go here.
- And that it was a gang thing.
- You think he was killed by someone? No, I'm sure it was natural causes.
He crawled up in the locker and died of old age.
Um I gotta book (?).
See you guys later, okay? O-kay? Principal Flutie? Er, Bambi? Barbie? er, Betty? Wilma? Buffy.
I am so sorry about this.
I know it's your first day.
I just want to say, we very seldom We almost never have dead kids stuffed in a locker.
- I have a very strict policy about that.
- So it's true? Yeah.
I know it's hard.
Certainly, not the welcome I would've planned for you.
I know, you're upset, confused You probably got that thing like when you burp and you've got that vomity taste in your mouth.
I just want you to know that we're all here for you.
- If there's anything that you need.
- Can I look at the body? Oh, great.
OK.
What's the sitch? I'm sorry? What's the sitch here? You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker? Yes.
'Cause it's the weirdest thing.
He's got two little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained.
Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going 'oooh'? I see.
Is he Will he rise again? No, he wasn't changed.
Just dead.
Oh, dear.
I was afraid of this.
Well, I wasn't.
It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind on my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair.
I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus and I don't care.
Then why are you here? To tell you that I don't care.
Which I don't! and have now told you So Bye! - You cannot escape your destiny.
- Wanna bet? Do you think it's coincidence, your being here? It was fated.
Why can't you people just leave me alone? Because you are the Slayer.
Into every generation a Slayer is born.
One girl in all the world.
A Chosen One.
Wow, you're gonna do the speech and everything.
One born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil, blah blah blah - I've heard it, OK? - I don't understand this attitude.
You've accepted your duty, you've slain vampires before.
Well, I've both been there and done that.
And I'm moving on.
Growing as a person.
Watch it happen.
You have no idea what's going on, do you? There's vampires? Big deal.
You kill them.
You think vampires are the only threat we face here? What do you mean? There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Werewolves.
Zombies.
Ghouls.
Incubi.
Succubi.
Everything you've ever dreaded under your bed but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day.
They're all real.
What, you're, like, sent away for the Time-Life series? Yes.
- D'you get the free phone? - The calendar.
Cool! Zombies, huh? OK.
First of all, I'm a vampire slayer.
And secondly, I'm retired.
- But your work is not finished.
- My work? I'm sixteen! I don't have work.
I have homework.
And you haven't been properly trained.
Which is why you're here.
Yes.
I - I'm a Watcher.
And a Watcher serves by finding the Slayer, leading her on her path.
It is my destiny to guide you.
Yeah, well, the last guy they sent to 'guide' me you should see what happened to him.
Yes, I know all about it.
You don't know anything about it.
You don't know what it's like.
I was happy.
I was Cindy Lou Who just coasting through my life when vampires - which are only supposed to be in cheesy movies - start killing people.
People I know.
And I find out I'm the Slayer, the only one in the world, and I gotta stop them.
And I do.
I train.
I hunt.
It becomes my whole life.
I can do things no other kid can do and actually that's fairly lush, I'm kinda into that.
So I kill the vampires.
Yay me.
And when it's all over, what's left? My grades are the suck.
My social life has achieved leper stage.
And I get thrown out of school for causing trouble.
Not exactly a medal and a book deal, if you know what I mean.
Yes, I-I do.
I just wanna be like everybody else.
Like anybody else.
But you're not, are you? Well, I mean to be.
O-kay - Are you the new girl? - Yeah.
Hey! I'm in line with you here, right? Sure.
I'm psyched you came.
Is the band good? Well, they don't know any actual chords yet but they have really big amps.
But it's always a good time, you know.
Yeah.
It seems normal.
A normal thing to do.
Er yeah? Well, I mean everyone comes here, right? So, you didn't do normal things at your old school? Oh, sure.
Only.
Exclusively.
You know, everyday stuff.
Homework, student council, football team You were on the football team? No! I ch So, is Willow coming tonight? Oh, I saw her sneaking on campus with some guy.
Willow has a boyfriend? She does tonight.
I didn't know the guy.
So, you didn't have any extra-curricular choices - What was he like? - Who? - Willow's friend.
- Oh, erm, kind of - Pale? - Yeah.
What was he wearing? Erm er a jacket.
No.
What was it like? You know, was it outdated at all, some old style? You're really caring about this outfit! Um Yeah.
But it was pretty striking.
You know, sleeves rolled up, collar, very Lionel Ritchie.
I mean, who's still sporting that look? This is nice.
I- I don't usually do this sort of thing.
I don't usually get asked.
But I'm having a good time, though.
Where did you say you went to school? Crossroads.
So Time for some kissing, huh? Relax.
Oh, we probably shouldn't even be here.
Especially after what happened to that poor boy.
He had it coming.
What do you mean? Coming up here alone, at night.
With a complete stranger.
What kind of an idiot would do a thing like that? What's the matter? Don't you wanna snuggle? Hey! Wait up! Where would they be? Buffy, uh, what's the sitch? You might need this.
This wouldn't by any chance be a vampire issue? The auditorium.
I'll try it round back! All right.
Get your hands off of her.
Ooh.
Seconds.
So what is it with vampires and clothes? You always think the march of fashion stopped dead the day you did.
It really is such a giveaway.
You know, you really shouldn't be here.
A vampire, all alone at night.
It just isn't safe.
You've got me wrong.
Oh, my bad.
You're not a vampire? I'm not alone.
Oops.
I-I don't suppose you'd be sweeties and attack me one at a time? - You watch too many movies.
- You can never watch too many movies.
Oh.
Ow.
That was my favourite spine.
Buffy! Get Willow out of here! She's hardly bit, she'll be all right! Heads up! - Can you walk? - Oh.
Mom was right about boys.
Ow! I'll go get help.
Xander, do you usually carry a purse? Ugh, God, I hate leftovers.
See what happens when you roughhouse? I don't like to hit girls that I'm afraid of.
Who are you? I'm the slayer.
A slayer! - Wait! - I'll call you! Better face facts.
You've run out of time.
You've run out of friends.
And nobody likes your outfit.
Freeze! I know how to use this.
I think.
OK.
Buffy? Be careful, you guys.
There's some Your friend can't help you now! Hold that thought.
I'm really sorry about all this.
That's okay.
It's kind of a destiny thing.
So.
What does a Vampire Slayer do, exactly? Hey, look at them.
Well, it seems Buffy's found her own level.
I can't believe we were almost nice to her.
I know.
I'm not saying you didn't do well.
Wait - now I am.
You didn't do well.
You, you stunk up the place.
What, are you kidding? She was huge! She had the moves, this Crane Technique… And she saved my life.
Which I'm for.
If she'd been a minute later, you'd be dead.
Or worse.
And you revealed yourself.
- And you, you let one of them get away - You know, are you sure you're wearing enough? 'Cause we might get a cloud today.
I cannot believe that the fate of the world may well be in the hands of this teen thing.
Relax.
The world's in beauty hands.
Trust me! (# See A Little Light by Bob Mould) Listen, theres music in the air I heard your voice, coming from somewhere Based on the transcript by: Stormwreath