Infinity Train (2019) s01e00 Episode Script
Pilot
Why are you still on my hand? What does that number mean, Miss Tulip? I've been trapped on this train for a week.
You've been here your whole life, I should be asking you.
In that case, it will remain an endless search devoid of all meaning.
It won't wash off! It doesn't seem to be powered by anything.
Numbers are quantitative.
They represent things.
But this one just sits there like a dumb number, getting dumber every minute that it sits there 'cause it's dumb! I see you.
The switch is a balance, One-One.
You have to be on both sides.
Solved! Yay! Yay, us! Yus! No.
Nus.
The next care will probably be a fart car where everything is just a fart.
It could be a fart car.
Is that what you want? Sure, the stench would be the perfect bookend to my misery.
Oh, come on, you guys.
First off, do you even have a nose? Second off, you said that for the last eight cars.
It's just too unlikely.
You're right! I don't have a nose! Oh, that was gross! Why does that exist? The next car is probably gonna be a burp car.
Oh, stop it.
Maybe it's a pizzeria that only serves cold pizza.
That would be creative, huh? Or it could be a way home.
Home, home, home, home, home, ho Wow! Is this your house? No.
I am Atticus, king and uniter of the Corrigans and the Pembrokes.
I extend to you my greetings.
Hi.
I'm Tulip.
I like books.
Welcome, Tulip the Literate, to Corginia! No, no, no, no, no! Down, down, down! Go get it! - Please excuse us.
We just get very excited when someone new comes through the door.
Food dispensers, cattle to herd, gift of speech.
You guys look like you're doing pretty well for yourselves.
Yes.
We also have a wide variety of vertical surfaces on which to potty.
Can I interest you in a sunbeam to lie in? We have to go to the next train car.
I'm just trying to get home.
I miss the fart car! Well, the next door is locked.
We have some theories on it, but Atticus! Atticus, the river! Quickly, Tulip, to the temple! The monster has returned! The what? Yay! Shadow puppet! I can do an eagle! What was that thing? I will admit there are some things I haven't told you about Corginia, like Like why there's a giant shadow monster?! Yes.
Patience, young lady.
Ever since the monster appeared, the water has risen and ruined our city.
Even our belly-rub machines only scratch our backs now, which is basically worthless.
Everything is going paws-up around here, if you'll excuse the language.
Let me see if it's gone yet.
One-One, be careful! Well, looks like I'll have to start writing his obituary.
Awfully morbid little thing, aren't you? - Yes.
What is it, One-One? It's gone! I'm excited! Let us be on our way.
Didn't you want to go outside? - Yes.
Outside? Outside? - Well Outside? - Maybe.
Well, well Want to go outside right now? You want to go outside? Yes, I want to go outside! How long has it been like this? - About a week.
That's how long I've had this number on my hand.
Interesting.
Tulip, the monster that terrorized my people lives across the river.
Alas, I cannot reach it, for the water is two feet deep, and I would surely drown.
I want to enlist your help in hunting down the creature and saving my people.
Uh, well, you know, I want to help, but numbers on hands don't really have any connection to shadow monsters, and I'm not really a saving kind of person.
I'm more of a self-looking-ish person.
Self-ish.
That is not the word I want to use.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
I've got my own stuff to deal with.
Please, Tulip.
Those numbers on your hand must be related to it somehow.
It's just so unlikely.
- Unlikely like a fart car.
- Three cheers for fart cars! Hip, hip! - Oh! Fine, I'll help you, but then I'm out of here.
Excellent! I must warn you, however, we Corgis are a proud people, and we hate being picked up.
Why would you need to warn me about that? Stop! Oh, can you stop doing that? Stop wiggling for two seconds! It's the door.
Look out! Wait, what? It's just a little spider, building her little We're grossed out, right, Miss Tulip? We've destroyed the monster! I thought victory would taste less musty.
So my number Of course.
Yeah, of course, nothing happens.
Correlation isn't causation.
I know that.
All I want's an answer for the first clue I've gotten this whole time.
No, not allowed! - Miss Tulip! I could travel for years on this ridiculous train and nothing would get better.
Why is this thing on my hand?! I just want to go home.
Tulip, every now and then, there are things you just can't know.
I should be able to know.
Feels like every time I find something logical about this train, it's thrown back at me, and I'm stuck without answers.
Sometimes you have to wait until something comes along and gives you the right push.
I'd all but given up on defeating the beast, but you were the push I needed.
Thanks, Atticus.
Now, I'm not just lying on my back for fun here.
Okay.
Wait.
How could a spider cause that problem with the water? The shadow came from a work light, so why was there a work light? It's the beast.
That thing must have broken the pipe.
We should attack.
- We'll never make it.
Maybe we can escape out the door.
How do I unlock it? First, you put your paw on the handle.
Okay.
- Then you turn it.
All right.
That's how all doors open! My people have been working on this technology for decades.
- Let's just talk to it.
- No! Hello! Atticus! Return to your seat! Miss Tulip! Should I start writing your obituary? Miss Tulip, what's wrong? I think I got my push.
You've been here your whole life, I should be asking you.
In that case, it will remain an endless search devoid of all meaning.
It won't wash off! It doesn't seem to be powered by anything.
Numbers are quantitative.
They represent things.
But this one just sits there like a dumb number, getting dumber every minute that it sits there 'cause it's dumb! I see you.
The switch is a balance, One-One.
You have to be on both sides.
Solved! Yay! Yay, us! Yus! No.
Nus.
The next care will probably be a fart car where everything is just a fart.
It could be a fart car.
Is that what you want? Sure, the stench would be the perfect bookend to my misery.
Oh, come on, you guys.
First off, do you even have a nose? Second off, you said that for the last eight cars.
It's just too unlikely.
You're right! I don't have a nose! Oh, that was gross! Why does that exist? The next car is probably gonna be a burp car.
Oh, stop it.
Maybe it's a pizzeria that only serves cold pizza.
That would be creative, huh? Or it could be a way home.
Home, home, home, home, home, ho Wow! Is this your house? No.
I am Atticus, king and uniter of the Corrigans and the Pembrokes.
I extend to you my greetings.
Hi.
I'm Tulip.
I like books.
Welcome, Tulip the Literate, to Corginia! No, no, no, no, no! Down, down, down! Go get it! - Please excuse us.
We just get very excited when someone new comes through the door.
Food dispensers, cattle to herd, gift of speech.
You guys look like you're doing pretty well for yourselves.
Yes.
We also have a wide variety of vertical surfaces on which to potty.
Can I interest you in a sunbeam to lie in? We have to go to the next train car.
I'm just trying to get home.
I miss the fart car! Well, the next door is locked.
We have some theories on it, but Atticus! Atticus, the river! Quickly, Tulip, to the temple! The monster has returned! The what? Yay! Shadow puppet! I can do an eagle! What was that thing? I will admit there are some things I haven't told you about Corginia, like Like why there's a giant shadow monster?! Yes.
Patience, young lady.
Ever since the monster appeared, the water has risen and ruined our city.
Even our belly-rub machines only scratch our backs now, which is basically worthless.
Everything is going paws-up around here, if you'll excuse the language.
Let me see if it's gone yet.
One-One, be careful! Well, looks like I'll have to start writing his obituary.
Awfully morbid little thing, aren't you? - Yes.
What is it, One-One? It's gone! I'm excited! Let us be on our way.
Didn't you want to go outside? - Yes.
Outside? Outside? - Well Outside? - Maybe.
Well, well Want to go outside right now? You want to go outside? Yes, I want to go outside! How long has it been like this? - About a week.
That's how long I've had this number on my hand.
Interesting.
Tulip, the monster that terrorized my people lives across the river.
Alas, I cannot reach it, for the water is two feet deep, and I would surely drown.
I want to enlist your help in hunting down the creature and saving my people.
Uh, well, you know, I want to help, but numbers on hands don't really have any connection to shadow monsters, and I'm not really a saving kind of person.
I'm more of a self-looking-ish person.
Self-ish.
That is not the word I want to use.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
I've got my own stuff to deal with.
Please, Tulip.
Those numbers on your hand must be related to it somehow.
It's just so unlikely.
- Unlikely like a fart car.
- Three cheers for fart cars! Hip, hip! - Oh! Fine, I'll help you, but then I'm out of here.
Excellent! I must warn you, however, we Corgis are a proud people, and we hate being picked up.
Why would you need to warn me about that? Stop! Oh, can you stop doing that? Stop wiggling for two seconds! It's the door.
Look out! Wait, what? It's just a little spider, building her little We're grossed out, right, Miss Tulip? We've destroyed the monster! I thought victory would taste less musty.
So my number Of course.
Yeah, of course, nothing happens.
Correlation isn't causation.
I know that.
All I want's an answer for the first clue I've gotten this whole time.
No, not allowed! - Miss Tulip! I could travel for years on this ridiculous train and nothing would get better.
Why is this thing on my hand?! I just want to go home.
Tulip, every now and then, there are things you just can't know.
I should be able to know.
Feels like every time I find something logical about this train, it's thrown back at me, and I'm stuck without answers.
Sometimes you have to wait until something comes along and gives you the right push.
I'd all but given up on defeating the beast, but you were the push I needed.
Thanks, Atticus.
Now, I'm not just lying on my back for fun here.
Okay.
Wait.
How could a spider cause that problem with the water? The shadow came from a work light, so why was there a work light? It's the beast.
That thing must have broken the pipe.
We should attack.
- We'll never make it.
Maybe we can escape out the door.
How do I unlock it? First, you put your paw on the handle.
Okay.
- Then you turn it.
All right.
That's how all doors open! My people have been working on this technology for decades.
- Let's just talk to it.
- No! Hello! Atticus! Return to your seat! Miss Tulip! Should I start writing your obituary? Miss Tulip, what's wrong? I think I got my push.