Nero Wolfe (2001) s01e00 Episode Script

A brownstone on west 35th street, Manhattan.
Most people walk by without a second look.
This is Nero Wolfe's office.
A man who thinks he's the world's greatest detective.
Truth being, he is.
Wolfe is punctual, especially about meals.
Breakfast at 8:00 in his room Lunch at 12:30, dinner at 6:30.
He also weighs a seventh of a ton.
Evening.
Good evening.
I went to the bank this afternoon.
Oh.
Would you like to have the news? You're overdrawn.
But the bank is hopeful.
I told them you have a ship coming in.
Smells great, Fritz.
What is it? Starlings.
Delivered this morning.
Fresh.
The sage? No, sir.
What do you mean, "no, sir"? I thought you might like it once With saffron and tarragon.
Remove it.
Oh, no, you don't understand.
This is You did not consult me.
To think that without warning One of my favorite dishes has been radically altered is an unpleasant shock.
It may possibly be edible but I am in no humor to risk it! Please dispose of it and bring me four coddled eggs and a piece of toast! Fritz, I'll take some.
Saffron, yeah.
Mmm really wonderful.
Surprisingly little fat.
Thank you, sir.
And there's a glaze or something what did you use in that? That glaze is a secret but I can tell you one ingredient.
Red currant.
Red currant, yes.
And you like the saffron and tarragon? He doesn't know what he's missing.
Thank you, sir.
Coffee, please, Fritz.
Who's that? Someone who doesn't know the rules.
Wrong number.
Guess again.
You're Archie Goodwin.
I got to see Nero Wolfe.
What's your name? Pete.
Pete.
Got a last name, Pete? Drossos.
And what do you want to see Mr.
Wolfe about? I got a case.
I'll tell him.
Now, normally, I would run the kid along.
Sure, Pete, come on in.
But after Wolfe's childish performance with Fritz It thought it would do him good To have another child to play with.
Right in here.
Archie, I will not have interruptions at meals.
You call eggs a meal? This is Mr.
Peter Drossos.
He wants to consult you about a case.
I was going to tell him you were busy but I remembered how sore you got at Fritz 'cause he didn't consult you.
I didn't want you get sore at Pete 'cause he didn't consult you either.
Sit down, Mr.
Drossos.
Dragging Wolfe is always a bit of a gamble.
Turn a little more to face me, please.
Thank you.
You wish to consult me? Yeah, I got a case.
I always welcome a case but timing is a little unfortunate because Mr.
Goodwin was going out this evening to see an important billiard match.
Now, of course He'll have to stay here to take down all that you say and all that I say.
Happily.
Like I said, always a gamble.
All right, young Pete, fire away.
Yeah, I guess it's okay him taking it down but I got to watch my end.
This is strictly under the lid.
If you mean it's confidential, certainly.
Then I'll spill it.
It happened about an hour ago.
I was at the corner of 35th and ninth working the "wipe racket".
Please, what is the wipe racket? You know when a car stops at the light you, um, walk over with a rag and start wiping the window.
Anyway, this caddy stops for the light.
The window was closed, so I couldn't hear but she worked her lips.
Help.
Get a cop.
The guy stuck a gun in her ribs and I got a license plate; Connecticut Y-Y-9-4-3-2.
May I see it, please? It's excellent.
So what do you think of this case I got? Well, it seems a little hazy.
Okay, look, the car was a dark gray '52 Caddy.
The driver was a good-looker.
She had on big gold spiders for earrings.
Spiders that stretched out like so; pure gold.
Pure gold, huh? Okay, it looked like pure gold.
Well, anyway, these people, they had bucks.
So I figure, if he kills her and I identify him, I get a rewart for hanging on him.
But that's when I decided I need to come see you because this case is too big for me to handle by myself.
So, I figure 50-50.
What do you say? Archie, you have that licence number? Call Mr.
Cramer's office and give them that number.
Say that you have information that that car, or its operator may have been involved in a violation of the law in this city in the past hour and suggest a routine check.
Do not be more definite.
Say that information is unverified.
And that inquiry should be discreet.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Who's this Mr.
Cramer? A cop? No, he's an inspector.
You, yourself, suggested the possibly of murder, Pete.
If there was a murder, there's a corpse.
If there's corpse, it should be found.
Unless, and until it is found, where's your case? We have no idea where to look for it.
So, we'll trick the police into finding it for us.
I often make use of them in that way.
Archie, of course, you will not mention Pete's name since he doesn't want to be marked.
Call Cramer.
I called Manhattan homicide.
I couldn't reach Cramer but I talked to detective Purley Stebbins.
I told him all about the case and, of course, I didn't reveal the source.
Excellent.
Now, your notebook.
Excuse me, what time is it? Yes, it's four minutes to 8:00.
I got to be home by a quarter to.
See you tomorrow.
After that, a billiard match would seem pretty dull.
But might as well go.
Sir.
The next afternoon Wolfe was having a beer relapse.
He was trying to cut down to two quarts a day And it wasn't going very well.
See who that is and send them away.
Well, I supposed of course, it was Pete but it wasn't; it was sergeant Purley Stebbins of Manhattan homicide west.
Nobody's home.
Nuts.
I want to see Wolfe and you.
All right, this is me.
I know that.
Now take me to Wolfe.
Yesterday evening you called me about a car.
A dark gray Cadillac with Connecticut plates.
I told you we had some information not checked.
That the car, the driver, the owner was involved in something.
I know that.
Exactly what was your information and where did you get it? You asked me that yesterday, I passed.
I still pass.
We don't want our informant to be annoyed.
Well, he's going to be.
Now, who was it and what did he tell you? Nothing doing, Purley.
Now you know dam well this is just a bad habit of yours.
Now, if something happened that makes you feel that I should tell you who and what you tell me what happened and see if I agree.
You know how reasonable I can be.
Couple of hours ago a car stopped for a red light at the corner of 35th and ninth.
A boy with a rag starts wiping the window.
As he circles in front of the car it jumps forward runs over the boy and keeps going.
The driver was a man alone.
Couple of people agreed on the plates: Connecticut, Y-Y-Nine-Four-Three-Two.
The same dark-gray Cadillac, the same car you called me about yesterday.
The boy died in the hospital shortly after the ambulance got him there.
What was the boy's name? What that got to do with it? Just tell me his name.
Drossos.
Peter Drossos.
The son of a bitch.
Who, the boy? No.
Do you tell me or does he? I wish you luck, Mr.
Stebbins.
That boy ate at my table yesterday.
Yeah? Well, that makes it bad, huh? People got no business running over boys that ate at your table.
Can I help you, madam? Does Nero Wolfe live here? Yes.
Do you think I could see him? I won't take long.
My name is Mrs.
Anthea Drossos.
Yes, Mrs.
Drossos.
You are Nero Wolfe? I am.
And this gentlemen? Sergeant Stebbins, homicide.
He is investigating the death of your son.
My boy, Pete, would not want me to tell this in front of a cop.
I'll be in the kitchen.
Asrchie? Well, madam You know my boy was killed.
Mom? I'm here, Pete.
Go to Mr.
Wolfe.
Tell him what happened.
We're almost at the hospital.
The can where I keep my money.
Give Mr.
Wolfe the money.
Hold on, Pete, hold on.
Tell him to find tell him to find the guy that ran me down.
Tell him to find tell him to find Here is Pete's money.
He made it himself.
Do you understand? Yes, I understand.
Archie? This way.
$4.
30.
A hearty congratulations to you.
I figure after deducting for income tax and the ten cents call to Stebbins there's enough left over to put a pool over here or Shut up! Will you return that to her tomorrow? I will not return it tomorrow or any other day.
You know that's impossible.
Give it to the red cross! You give it to the red cross! Should that woman come back and ask what we did with Pete's money I'm not going to feel like saying the red cross and I'm not going to lie.
You brought him into this house! This is your house! You gave the boy cookies! You ate a couple of the cookies.
What? Nothing.
What? I didn't have a cookie.
I did not have a single cookie.
You had a couple of them.
Well, you've always said it's not so much that you earn the money but to feel like you've earned the money.
So why don't we earn our money? "Woman with spider earrings "who on Tuesday at the corner of ninth and 35th street "silently asked a young boy to get the police: "please communicate with Nero Wolfe at the address in the phone book.
" There's enough there to run an ad in the Mirror and if not, I'll throw in a few bucks.
I regard that as brilliant.
We're using Pete's money for Pete.
And since there's no chance there'll be a nibble it won't expose you to any work.
What do you say? Very well.
Tell Cohen it has to appear in tonight's edition.
Don't explain.
It was almost noon when the ad in the Mirror had baited the first fish our old friend, inspector Cramer.
Where's Wolfe? Inspector Cramer.
I don't think he's expecting you.
Damn right, he isn't.
Archie, this is farcical.
Why did you put that ad in the Mirror? I do not use brassavolas in trigeneric crosses.
Now, your notebook, Archie.
Dear Mr.
Jordan I asked you why Dear Mr.
Jordan in reference to the orchids You put that ad In the Mirror.
in performing Damn it, Wolfe! In specific reference to Vanda Caerulea I asked a civil question.
Civil? Civilize it.
Put it your way.
Do you know that woman with the spider earrings? Archie? I have no idea.
Back to the letter.
Yes, please.
Please, let's get back to it.
You're covering up something.
Or someone.
Did you ever hear of Matthew Birch? Yes.
Oh, so you have? Would you tell me when and where? It's in the newspaper.
Here as reported.
"The body of a man "was found late Tuesday night "in a desolate alley "alongside a south street pier.
It is thought a car ran over him.
" Except for newspaper and radio items connected with his death had you ever seen or heard of him? Under that name? Under that or under any name! Not to my knowledge.
Go back.
Have you got the spelling? V- A-N-D-A C-E-R-U-L-A E- A.
E- A? Do you have any reason to suspect or suppose that the man found dead in the alley was someone you had seen or heard of in any connection whatsoever? Ah, that's more like it.
That settles it.
The answer is no.
May I ask one? Have you any reason to suppose or suspect that the answer should be yes? Well, here's the complication: the car that killed that boy was found on 186th street with the Connecticut plates still on it.
Technicians work out on it all morning.
They clinched it that it killed the boy.
Caught tight underneath the car was a piece of cloth the size of a man's hand torn from the flap of jacket worn by a man named Matthew Birch.
So The same car that killed that boy ran over Matthew Birch.
Do you agree? For a working hypothesis Well that's the point! Wou are working on it.
You put that ad in! I'll stipulate that I am capable of flummery That I have on occasion gulled and hoaxed you, inspector but you know I eschew the crudeness of an explicit lie.
I tell you, I have no client in this matter.
Now, I will admit that the evidence that the boy and Matthew Birch Nero Wolfe's office.
being killed by the same car is a noteworthy complication.
But that should make things easier for you.
Even though the license plate may be useless.
Surely you can trace the car itself.
Yeah, well, we have.
It was stolen four months ago in Baltimore.
It's been repainted twice.
Well, that was, um interesting.
It was a, uh telephone call in reference to orchids.
Thank you, Archie.
Okay.
Um, you know, I've never had any notion that you're a crude liar, Wolfe.
I've never seen you be crude.
No Not crude.
You're nice.
Archie, I- I- I'm not happy with Wait, wait, wait.
The phone call.
Hmm? It was a woman answering the ad.
She wouldn't give her name, uh Uh, she made an appointment.
It's lunch.
Uh, she made an appointment for 20 minutes from now.
Archie, this is insufferable.
So Dear Mr.
Jordan "dear Mr.
Jordan " Mr.
Wolfe? No, I'm Archie Goodwin Mr.
Wolfe's assistant.
Right on the dot.
I am usually punctual.
What can I do for you, madam? This is a clipping of your advertisement.
And this is a check made out to you for $500.
May I see it, please? Not yet.
It has my name on it.
So I would guess.
I want to ask you some things before I give you my name.
What things? About the boy the boy I asked to see a cop.
I would like to see him.
Will you arrange for me to see him? If you could just give me his name and address I think that that woud be enough for the $500.
Describe the boy.
Describe the other occupants of the car.
What time did it happen? What did the boy say? Exactly what did he do? As for your name that is no longer in your discretion.
Mr.
Goodwin seizes your bag by force, if necessary and examines its contents.
If you complain, we are two to one.
Sit down, madam! I like eyes at a level.
Sit down and we'll discuss it.
But first, the name.
My driving license.
I am Mrs.
Laura Fromm.
I am a widow.
My New York residence is I've noted it.
You still maintain you were driving the car, and told the boy to get a cop? I do, most certainly.
Then you're in a pickle.
The police want to question you about a murder.
Yesterday, a car ran over the boy and killed him intentionally.
What are you saying? It was the same car the one you profess to be driving when you spoke to the boy.
I don't believe it.
You will.
The police will explain to you how they know it was the same car.
There's no question about it, Mrs.
Fromm.
I am not assuming that you were driving the car that killed the boy, but I tell you merely by being drawn to me by that advertisement and coming rigged in those earrings you have put your foot in it.
And if you stick to it that you were driving the car you will have fully qualified as a feeble-minded donkey.
I was not driving the car.
That's better.
Where were you Tuesday evening between 6:30 and 7:00? At an executive meeting for the aid to european refugees.
And the following day, Wednesday? Where was I? Same time 6:30 to 7:00? What is has got? That's when he was struck and killed.
I was having tea with a friend.
The friend's name, please? The friend's name is Paul Kuffner my publicist.
This is a check for $10,000.
I see it is.
It's a retainer.
For what? It seems as though I'm going to need your expert advice and maybe your help.
Bosh.
You're offering to pay me not to tell the police of your visit.
I am Mrs.
Damon Fromm.
My husband left me a large fortune.
I have position and responsibilities.
If you would to report my visit to the police, I would arrange to see the commissioner.
So if you would come to my home tomorrow I don't go to people's homes.
Fine.
Then I will come here at noon.
Until then you will not report my coming here.
I want to I must see someone.
I must try to find out something.
If I don't, you may inform the police.
If I do, I will need your advice and probably your help.
That's what the $10,000 is for.
Archie, is she Mrs.
Damon Fromm? I would say yes but I wouldn't sign it.
Archie, go to Mr.
Cohen's office and ask to see pictures of Mrs.
Damon Fromm.
Phone me from there.
You will stay here with me.
This is ridiculous.
No doubt, but under the circumstances not unreasonable.
Do you refuse? No.
I deserve it.
It isn't necessary, Archie.
You are Mrs.
Fromm.
Before you leave, an understanding: my decision whether to accept your retainer and work for you will be made tomorrow.
You are not now my client.
Understood.
And a question: do you know who the woman was who was driving the car Tuesday and spoke to the boy? I won't answer that now because I can't.
I really don't know.
But you think you know? I won't answer it.
Have you ever seen or heard of a man named Matthew Birch? No.
Why? A man of that name was run over and killed by a car Tuesday night and it was the same car that killed the boy Wednesday.
Since the car itself cannot be supposed ruthless and malign someone associated with it must be.
I am warning you not to be foolhardy or even imprudent.
Mrs.
Fromm extended her hand.
Wolfe doesn't usually rise when a woman enters or leaves but it was lunch time and the hand was in the way.
I walked Mrs.
Fromm to the door spent the rest of the day making sure her check was bona fide.
That woman is 18 minutes late and I shall not permit this to interfere with my lunch.
She must have heard you.
I'm Denis Horan, counselor-at-law.
James Albert Maddox, also an attorney.
There's been a terrible tragedy.
We must see Nero Wolfe.
Mrs.
Fromm's body was found an hour ago.
She was apparently run over by an automobile.
Is that the reason you've come to see me? Mrs.
Fromm was a former friend and client.
Not your client.
I advised her.
Badly.
Perhaps it would be well for each of you to tell me without interruption to what extent, and with what authority you represent Mrs.
Fromm.
I represent Mrs.
Fromm.
You do not.
My firm is counsel to Mrs.
Fromm.
I am counsel for the association of european refugees.
I am also executor of Mrs.
Fromm's estate.
And in that capacity, Mr.
Wolfe I ask you formally, under what conditions and for what purpose did she give you a check for $10,000? I prefer not to tell you.
Do you know the law, Mr.
Wolfe? No.
Then I suggest you to seek advice.
I can compel you to disgorge that check Unless you can establish that Mrs.
Fromm received value for it.
I can't.
She received nothing.
But I intend to earn that money.
How? By making sure her murderer is exposed and punished.
That's ridiculous.
We'll see.
Am I correct, sir in assuming that you are not demanding that I return the money Mrs.
Fromm paid me? That depends.
Tell me under what arrangement and for what purpose the check was made out and I will consider the matter.
No, sir.
I will tell you nothing whatsoever of the conversation I had with Mrs.
Fromm.
Then you're withholding evidence.
Phooey! I will report it to the police in writing signed.
Archie? And why not to me? Because I'm not a simpleton.
Because I have reason to think that the conversation that I had with Mrs.
Fromm was one of the links in a chain that led to her death.
And if that is so the person most eager to know what she said to me is probably her murderer.
Nonsense.
I am not her murderer.
That remains to be seen.
This is a sham.
You're not interested in finding the killer of my client.
Excuse me.
You're only interested in the $10,000.
I'm going to replevy that money.
Archie, call inspector Cramer.
Wait a minute.
You're making a mistake, Wolfe.
You say you want to investigate a murder yet you have two of the people closest to Mrs.
Fromm here in your office and you chase one of them out! Bosh! Will you describe, fully and frankly the course and nature of your relations with Mrs.
Fromm? Certainly not.
If I send Mr.
Goodwin to the office of the association of european refugees will you instruct the staff to answer his questions fully and freely? No.
I Then I have little use for you.
Archie, show Mr.
Horan to the door.
Counselor.
I wasn't sure Mrs.
Fromm would like to be called a socialite.
It didn't seem very dignified, but then, it isn't dignified to be murdered by a car, either.
Hey, Lon! Hey! Well, well, well, so Nero Wolfe is on the case.
I was just passing by.
I wanted to ask a few questions.
What do you know about Nora Fromm's activities the day she was killed? What do I get? Appreciation, respect trust me.
Eh all right, start with lunch at the Churchill, Paul Kaffner public relations guy for the A.
E.
R.
The association for european refugees.
Kuffner told the cops she was worried about something.
What happened after lunch? Went back to the A.
E.
R.
office where a Mrs.
Wright, executive-something says she spent their time going over the books.
Then Fromm goes home meets her personal secretary, friend and confidante.
Named? Jean Estey.
Estey helps her get dressed for dinner.
The buter said they had some argument.
Where's dinner? Denis Horan's apartment.
Yeah? Who's there? Just Horan, his wife Claire Angela Wright and Paul Kuffner.
Dinner breaks early.
Rumor is, Horan was overly familiar with Mrs.
Fromm so he walks her back to the car and watches her drive away.
Yeah, so he was the last man to see her alive, huh? As far as is known.
Listen, uh, anything new on this, uh, Matthew Birch guy? What's Matthew Birch got to do with it? Are you saying his murder's connected to Fromm? Eh, what else you know about the guy, huh? He's a special agent for immigration and naturalization services.
Married, seems to live above his means.
What do you got? Eh, the cops seem to have it wrapped up that the same car that killed the kid killed Birch.
Hey, and Fromm was killed by a car also.
That's sweet, Archie.
That's very sweet.
So who hired Nero Wolfe? Nope.
Not yet.
Hey, what you mean? Come on! Come on! I promise you I'll give you an exclusive later.
Hey Arch! No tasting.
I wasn't tasting.
I was sampling.
You must explain to me the difference someday.
Inspector Cramer was here.
Any blood flow? You'll have to ask him yourself.
The top floor was devoted to Wolfe's second obsession: Orchids.
Eh, cattleyas.
Wrong.
Andropium.
What information did you obtain from Mr.
Cohen? Well, miss Fromm had quite a busy social schedule And so I told him.
Wolfe sat there with eyes closed and nose twitching.
her publicist Mr.
Kuffner When I finished, he held his pose for a long moment absorbing everything I think.
Then he opened his eyes.
Cramer was here.
Yes.
So Fritz said.
Yes.
He was uncommonly offensive.
He intimated that had I told him yesterday of Mrs.
Fromm's visit, she would not have been killed.
He was insufferable.
How old is Jean Estey? Lon didn't specify.
He thought young, I suppose under 30.
Why? Is she comely? No data.
Get her and bring her here.
"Get her and bring her here.
" Well, that's Nero Wolfe.
How was I even going to get to see Jean Estey? I concocted and rejected four different plans.
Yes? Uh, yes, there seems to be some confusion about the flower arrangements for the funeral.
I must consult with miss Estey immediately.
Mr.
Goodwin is the name.
This way, please.
Thank you.
What's this about flowers? Miss Jean Estey? Yes.
What about flowers? Yes, that's why I've come to see you.
Have you heard the name "Nero Wolfe"? The detective? Yes.
Well, certainly.
Good.
He sent me.
Mr.
Wolfe would like to know if there would be any objection to orchids miltonia roezlii alba.
They're pure white and quite beautiful.
Eh, grief grief.
I'm quite accustomed.
We have it under control.
Thank you, thank you.
You-You see pardon? What started me was the way you're dressed.
Ot, it's grotesque.
Yes, well, the costume merely got me in.
Why, yes, I understand under false pretenses, and what for? Mr.
Wolfe would like to invite you to dinner.
Are you aware that Mrs.
Fromm gave Mr.
Wolfe a check for $10,000 yesterday? Yes.
I handle her personal checking account.
Ah.
Did she tell you what the check was for? No.
Well, I can't tell you, either.
But I can tell you that Mr.
Wolfe feels responsible for Mrs.
Fromm and feels an obligation to investigate her death.
Oh, the police are investigating it.
Two of them left here just a half an hour ago.
Yes, yes, the police.
I'm sure they'll do a very fine job and they'll solve it.
But if they don't, Mr.
Wolfe will.
Don't you want Mr.
Wolfe to solve it? It doesn't matter what I want.
Well, it matters to Mr.
Wolfe, and that's why he's inviting you to dinner.
Our offices are at 35th street.
We could be there in 15 minutes.
Shall we go? Oh, go now? Yes.
Oh, no.
Look, I may be in the middle of this mess but I'm not going to say or do anything to make it worse than it already is.
Now, I've been instructed Miss Estey! There you are.
Archie Goodwin.
I work for Nero Wolfe.
I'm in disguise.
I'm Paul Kuffner.
I handle public relations for Mrs.
Fromm and I am not in disguise.
Sorry to break in like this and take miss Estey away but there are urgent matters.
Upstairs, please, miss Estey.
Pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Goodwin.
I've heard a great deal about you and Mr.
Wolfe.
Ah, Beecham, Mr.
Goodwin is leaving.
See him to the door, would you? It was a fine job.
He could have said, "get out of this house 'til I ask Miss Estey what you're trying to put over.
" But no, sir.
Gentlemen, uh, Fritz has provided us with some lovely homemade cookies in case any of you is interested.
Napkins are provided.
Hello, everyone! I'm a mortician.
Saul, Fred, Orrie.
Saul, Fred and Orrie, our best freelance operatives were waiting when I got back to the office.
So you went to miss Estey dressed as? A mortician.
Ah.
This got me in.
Unfortunately, miss Estey with the well-timed help of a Paul Kuffner refused your dinner invitation.
You don't look very alert.
Sit down, Archie.
Remove the silly cap.
So, I must inform you of the situation in all of its intricacy.
The police will tell me nothing.
With all of their advantages of manpower and authority they will certainly forestall us.
But I intend to persuade myself that I am justified in keeping Mrs.
Fromm's fee.
Besides, I resent the assumption that those who come to seek my help may be murdered with impunity that's the personal reason.
We'll get the bastard.
I doubt it, Fred.
But we will try.
There are dozens of possible approaches to the problem.
So Saul, tell me, where do you want to start? I'd kind of like to start with that A.
E.
R.
place that refugee joint? Mrs.
Fromm's organization.
Why? Because they're interested in refugees and Birch used to be with the immigration and naturalization service.
That's the one connection I see between Birch and Mrs.
Fromm.
Very well.
Take $200 in expenses.
But a displaced person would not be lavish.
Yeah, I know that.
I'll start with the spider earrings not that I've seen any.
How big were they? Archie? Like so, like so.
Were they gold? I think they were gold, but don't quote me.
Archie, give Orrie $100.
What about you, Fred? Where do you start? Them earrings.
No.
They're- They're covered.
Has anyone a suggestion for Fred? We'll think of something.
Let's try this: I assume that on Tuesday afternoon when the woman driver stopped at the corner and told the boy Pete to get a cop that the man in the car with her was Matthew Birch.
What? I don't get that, Mr.
Wolfe.
Good.
Then it probably hasn't occurred to the police.
Now, I admit that this is extremely tenuous but later that night, the same car ran over and killed Matthew Birch in a place and manner indicating that it had carried him to the spot.
Therefore, since Birch was in the car late in the evening why not assume that he was in the car early in the evening? The assumption would be that the man that ran the car over the boy on Wednesday was the same guy who was in the car with the woman on Tuesday.
Because wherever he was, he knew the boy could identify him.
It couldn't have been Birch 'cause by Wednesday, Birch was dead.
That's probably what the police assume.
It sounds logical.
Fred, you will proceed on my assumption that Birch was in the car with the woman.
Try either to validate it or disprove it.
Archie will supply you with a photograph of Birch.
Archie, could you get photographs of everyone involved? Tomorrow.
Do so.
And then there's something I want you to do.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Archie will coordinate your efforts.
'Morning.
Have you any questions about the instructions I gave you last night? One.
It's clear enough as far as it goes but who am I after? You're stirring them up.
Turning a tiger loose in a crowd or, if that's too bombastic, a mouse.
How will they take it? Will they tell the police? If so, which one or ones? Sure.
I see the possibilities.
Is there a specific item I should retrieve? No, none.
What? You've been eating corned beef.
Yes, I have.
Yes, I have.
I've been eating corned beef But not in premises.
Well, well, no costume today.
"Representing Nero Wolfe.
" Yes, but not exactly.
Oh? I'm here on my own.
On your own.
But don't you work for Nero Wolfe? I like to get work for me, too when I get a chance.
Read the other side.
"To discuss what Mrs.
Fromm told Mr.
Wolfe.
" Yes, that's exactly what I want to talk with you about, but just between you and me.
I don't understand.
Oh, you soon will.
You see, I was present during the talk that Mrs.
Fromm had with Mr.
Wolfe.
I remember all of it.
I have a very good memory.
I could recite it to you word for word or mighty close to it.
Well? I think you'd appreciate hearing what that talk was.
I've reason to believe that you would find it most interesting if I woud recite it to you word for word for $5,000.
Now, I don't expect you to have that kind of money right now.
You can pay me this afternoon but I must be paid in advance.
This is incredible.
Why on earth should I pay you five cents to hear about that talk, let alone $5,000.
Why? Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it? After you pay, and I deliver you may or may not decide whether you got your mony is worth.
And what if I told Mr.
Wolfe about your offer? I'd say you were a liar.
You trust me.
I'd simply say you were a dirty liar.
Well, I suppose I should be insulted and indignant, but I'm too shocked.
I didn't know you were a common skunk.
You should go.
Yes, well, think about the offer.
Taxi! Looking for a Mrs.
Horan.
Thank you, sir.
Just across the street.
Ah, Mrs.
Horan.
Do I know you? Do we know each other? Quiet, darling.
Not exactly, but we're about to meet.
Oh, a detective, working with Nero Wolfe.
For Nero Wolfe.
Have you heard of him? Oh, yes, my husband saw him the other day.
What day was it? I'm not sure.
If you're looking for him No, Mrs.
Horan, actually.
Turn the card over.
"To discuss what Mrs.
Fromm " With me? Why would I be interested? Mrs.
Fromm visited Mr.
Wolfe and Poor Mrs.
Fromm.
I was present out their conversation.
She tried to help all those people Their entire conversation You see, I heard everything that was said.
And to satisfy your curiosity I will tell you for $5,000.
And I will pay it back the day it rains up instead of down.
How about that? What an amusing idea.
Yes, yes, yes.
"Raining up instead of down.
" Yes.
Would it be raining from the clouds up or up from the grounds to the clouds? Well either actually.
I think I like it better raining up from the ground.
Oh, well, we're about the rain are we, Mrs.
Horan? you see, I'm willing to sell you some information about what Mrs Fromm might have said to Mr.
Wolfe.
But why would that interest me? Oh, I see.
You mean, she told him something awful about me.
That doesn't surprise me any.
What was it? Well, I'm not sure you understand exactly what I'm talking about here.
Maybe I need to make myself perfectly clear.
First you give me the money then I give you the facts, see? You know what I think, Mr.
Goodwin? No, I do not.
I think you're much too fine a person to use these kind of tactics to stir up my curiosity.
Well, if it's the money, we could I thought you were a nice man.
You have kind eyes.
Did you know that? I thought you were a nice man, but I can see i was wrong.
Ya-Wa, attack! That's not necessary.
Oh! No, no, bad dog! Bad, bad! Hey! Just have him stop.
Well, it's dangerous out in the front lines but I still wasn't ready to give up on my quest for $5,000.
This is the association for european refugees? Yes, it is.
Just like sign says.
I'm here to see Angela Wright.
She's busy.
Well, show her this card.
She's busy.
Show her the card.
She'll see me.
Mrs.
Wright will see you.
Corner office.
I told you so.
You're next, Mr.
Heim.
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you very much.
Come in.
Afternoon.
You represent Mr.
Nero Wolfe.
I suppose you are a detective also.
Well, actually Are you trying to solve her murder? Well, actually, what I'd like to do is I can't see why would anyone wish her dead? No matter how she could be.
She was doing such humanitarian work.
She certainly was.
You know, the A.
E.
R.
is a private organization supported by wonderful people like Mrs.
Fromm which helps immigrants to find jobs and provides legal and financial assistance.
Yes, that's very touching.
If it were not for Mrs.
Fromm, I might never have been able to come here.
What a tragedy her death is.
Terrible, terrible tragedy, huh? So, how can I help you? Ah, well, are you aware that Mrs.
Fromm visited Mr.
Wolfe the day she was killed, murdered? No, I didn't know that.
Yes.
But we were not so close that she confided in me.
I see, I see.
So, then you wouldn't be interested in anything Mrs.
Fromm had to say to Mr.
Wolfe? About me? For $5,000, I'll tell you exactly what the conversation was in detail.
So, it does concern me.
Sit down, Mr.
Goodwin.
Perhaps we can arrange something.
I'm sure we can.
Shall we put your offer in writing? You take me for a sap? A "sap"? For a fool.
Oh, if you were a fool no, if you were so dishonest, wouldn't Mr.
Wolfe? I mean, he is a detective, you agree? You see, the thing is I, uh, I've fallen on hard times recently and I've never done this before.
I, uh, my mother, cancer.
Ridiculous.
What? Ridiculous.
What is ridiculous? Mr.
Goodwin, I resent being taken for a sap.
Is it sap? That's my vanity.
Tell Nero Wolfe tell him I mind being underrated by him and tell him I think he is a sap for thinking he can fool me with such a crude trick.
But miss Wright Yes, Mr.
Goodwin? Good luck to all of you.
After Angela Wright, I had one more offer to make Paul Kaffner, but I called Wolfe to report.
Archie, come home at once.
Mr.
Kuffner is here and I want to see you.
Oh! Don't sit there, Archie.
Your right to sit at that desk is suspended.
Move, please.
Move.
Mr.
Kuffner has a shocking accusation.
Sit there.
Mr.
Kuffner? A woman I trust says that you offered to tell her about the conversation Mrs.
Fromm had with Mr.
Wolfe if she would first pay you $5,000 in cash.
What's the woman name? I have not told Mr.
Wolfe because one was requested not to.
Of course, you know it.
I've forgotten.
Tell me.
No.
For God's sakes, if you were a U.
S.
senator I wouldn't expect you to name the accuser but since you're not, go climb a tree.
He has a point, Mr.
Kuffner.
Anonymous accusations are in questionable taste.
You should name her.
I was asked not to.
Then I'm afraid we're at an impasse.
May I smoke? No.
It was Angela Wright.
Archie? Did you make Angela Wright such as proposal as described by Mr.
Kuffner? No, sir.
Did you say anything to her that could have reasonably been construed as such a proposal? No, sir.
Then you may sit at your desk.
Mr.
Kuffner, I'm afraid we're at a dead end.
If it is an issue of voracity between Mr.
Goodwin and Mrs.
Wright I believe Mr.
Goodwin.
Yes, you would.
Of course.
And even if I could prove such an offer was made where would it get me? Look, Wolfe, we haven't much time.
I must get to Mrs.
Fromm's funeral but you should know that my professional function was to give advice to my clients.
Mrs.
Fromm and the association relied on me to handle their affairs so that their activities would be regarded in a favorable light.
I will do anything in my power to see that Mrs.
Fromm's reputation is not damaged, and, while I see no connection between the association's affairs and her death, I believe it is possible, indeed probable that there is a connection between Mrs.
Fromm's death and a talk with you.
Now, if I am to further my client's interests I need to know about that conversation.
I've tried to talk to the police about it but they won't tell me, so you must.
I'll pay you $5,000 for it.
Which is it, Mr.
Kuffner, black or white? Five minutes ago you were going to report an iniquitous proposal.
Now you're ready to be a party to it.
An extraordinary ethical somersault.
I have the cash with me.
No, Mr.
Kuffner.
I'm afraid to deal with you.
You're too agile for me.
You can't deny me.
You can't.
As a representative of Mrs.
Fromm's interests I have the right to demand it.
You'll be late for the funeral.
Orry used hi connections in the jewelry trade to locate a store on 46th street where the golden spider earrings had been displayed in the window.
When Orrie asked about them, the proprietor clammed up.
Now it was up to me to open that clam somehow.
Who is it, Irving? I don't know, papa.
Oh, it's you again.
Who are you? Archie Goodwin.
We work for Nero Wolfe.
The detective? That's right.
I want to ask you something about the murder of, uh, Pete Drossos.
Who's that? A gangster? I know nothing about gangsters.
Oh, no.
He was a 12-year-old boy just like your son here.
Irving, go.
Do your homework.
Now.
A boy murdered? Why didn't you say so.
Come.
Explain.
I still don't understand why this boy was killed.
And by the same car.
So you want what? I want to know who bought those earrings.
Those spiders? That's right.
One of a kind.
I gave her a good price.
Yeah? How'd she pay? By check.
By check? What was the signature? The name? It was the woman who was murdered Laura Fromm.
Ah, Laura Fromm.
You've been most helpful.
Thank you.
We're back.
We tracked down the earrings.
Guess who bought them.
Mrs.
Damon Fromm.
You knew? No, Orrie.
I was asked to guess.
Now I know.
Good work, Orrie.
Saul phoned.
He started something but he's not sure what.
Yes, I know.
I saw him at the association office.
Yes.
He calls himself Leopold Heim.
Under that name he has taken a cheap hotel on first avenue.
After you left the association office he had a brief talk with Angela Wright.
Who referred you to our organization? Uh, special agent for immigration and naturalization.
It was, uh, Birch.
Mr.
Matthew Birch.
Oh, really? Mr.
Birch is dead.
Dead? Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
A few weeks ago he told me to come here, so here I am.
You entered the country illegal? Well, yes and no.
Yes.
I was told this association would be able to help people like me.
The association cannot be an accessory to a violation of the law.
No, no, I understand.
No.
Of course not.
I don't know what I should do.
Consult with a lawyer.
A lawyer? I don't know any lawyers.
Here is a lawyer you can trust.
Denis Horan.
I have no money.
He works for the association.
It's a service.
Oh, a service.
That's very kind.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Saul went to Ran's office and told him of his plight.
Mr.
Heim, you have a very big problem.
Many people like you come to me every day but I'm only able to help a very few.
However there may be a solution to this mess.
Where can you be found? Hotel.
The hotel Duval in room 312.
Go to your room and wait.
Tonight.
I wait? This evening.
This evening.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
I really appreciate it very much.
Thank you.
So Saul went back to the hotel.
At 8:00 p.
m.
he had a caller.
Uh, just a second, please.
Just one minute.
Please.
Yes, uh, come in.
Please come in.
The door is open.
You Heim? Who are you? I'm here to help you.
What do you mean? How how are you going to help me? I'm aware of your predicament and I sympathize.
But don't worry.
You want help, don't you? Yes, I need help.
Of course I do.
You're an illegal.
Illegal, really, in a manner of speaking.
That means the FBI and the police have to be dealt with.
It's going to be costly.
So you you wanted how much? Ten thousand dollars.
What? $10,000? No, but for what is the? To prevent any kind of exposure or harassment.
No, no.
You don't understand.
I have nothing.
I have nothing.
$10,000 is a ridiculous amount You can do it by the month, by the week a little bit here, a little bit there.
I see, for a little bit from the week and the month.
Yes, but I could and the papers are then good, yes? Guaranteed.
Remember Any attempt to alter this arrangement would be disastrous.
Sleep on it.
I'll be back.
Sure.
Um sir? Sir, I want to thank you.
I appreciate very much your your helping me.
And walk ease easy there, young fellow.
When he left, Saul managed to follow him.
The man is now at a restaurant on third avenue and 14th street.
Saul called from across the street at well, it was less than a half hour ago.
I'll take the sedan and drop Orrie off.
I'll lay back with the car.
Nero Wolfe's.
Archie, it's Fred.
Is the boss there? He ought to hear this.
Hiya, Fred.
It's Fred.
Take a taxi.
Go to Saul's.
If tuns out Fred doesn't needs me worse than Saul I'll come join you.
Go on, Fred.
I'm at a phone booth third avenue and 55th street.
I just found a lot of new stuff about Matthew Birch.
His main hangout was a dump on ninth and 54th Danny's bar and grill.
I've been in and out asking about Birch Telling people my name is O'Connor.
and I've been told that my wife was seen with him at a park last Tuesday afternoon In a dark gray Cadillac.
One guy told me there's a guy who'll give me the lowdown on Birch.
If I wanted to see him, come back between 9:30 and 10:00.
Go ahead and play it, but wait 'til I get there.
I'll take the sedan and park across the street.
I'll wait in the car until I hear you scream or they roll your corpse out.
If you leave with company, I'll tail you.
Otherwise, walk along 42nd street, keep going and I'll wait until you're loose and then I'll come get you.
You got it? Okay.
Anything else, Mr.
Wolfe? No.
Proceed.
You know I dislike guns.
So do I, except in situations where I might get knifed plugged or shoved off a building.
I laid back and waited.
I decided to wait half an hour until 10:19 But I didn't have to wait that long.
The driver didn't spot me tailing him But he drove kind of fast, a little too fast for a night when the rain was starting to come down harder and harder.
They were talking.
I couldn't make out what they were saying, so I looked for a better vantage point.
Get up.
You ever been to st.
Louis, Missouri? St.
Louis? No.
Me, neither.
Got alligators there.
Hello, Mort.
We been waiting for you.
Is he clean? Yeah, but he had an "s" and "w" under his arm.
What's this about your wife and Matthew Birch? Someone said they saw her with him.
I think she's cheating on me.
You know Matt Birch? Me? Birch? No, but she must've known him.
I guess so.
Check his papers.
All right, boss.
My name's not "O'Connor.
" No, it's "Durkin.
" See, the reason I was Shut up.
Archie Private dick, eh? Who you working for? Myself.
Even a private dick has a personal life and my wife Shut up! Archie The big, white guy he's "lips".
I followed him from the hotel.
Where's Orrie? Orrie's upstairs.
He's watching our back.
What do you got for me here, mort? Oh, yeah.
Let's get serious, now, huh? I want to hear you talk.
All right.
Get up.
Come on.
Back up.
Ah be nice.
Does it hurt? Good, good.
Get some rope, boys.
Tie them up.
In less than a minute Saul looked through their wallets.
They were Lips Egan and Mortimer Erwin.
And the last entry is Leopold Heim, me.
What do you think little blackmail? So, that'sit.
Geez, there must be a thousand names in this book.
Each one paid ten grand that's ten million bucks.
Quite a racket, fellas.
Do you care to comment? Yeah.
I ought to explain.
Yeah.
I should explain.
We work for Nero Wolfe and we disapprove of blackmail but that's not what we're working on.
We're working on a murder or should I say three murders? So, if I ask you about your racket, it's to get at a murder, see? For instance was Matthew Birch in with you on this? Ow! Ow! That's it, you lousy little rat! Now that that's out of your system you feel better? Another thing, uh how much of, uh, the cut of the dough was yours and who got the rest? What dough? "What dough?" Huh.
Who gave you the tip on Leopold Heim? Nobody.
Tough character.
He's very tough, Archie.
Let me do a little crisscross on him.
Yeah, get his arms.
All right.
Hey, Fred, move him.
Come on.
Allright.
Here we go.
The crisscross? "The crisscross," yeah.
I don't know if you've been introduced It's a scientific method for stimulating vocal cords.
If and when you decide you don't want any more there's a phone right there and you can always call police headquarters.
We'll stop the science here you can tell them anything you want without interference or you can answer my questions.
Did you see Birch in that car? Who gave you the tip on Leopold Heim? Who's the boss of your racket? Birch is or was.
Hmm.
All right, now, we're getting somewhere.
Now did you see Birch in the car with a woman last, uh, Tuesday afternoon? What woman? "What woman?" This hurts me more than it hurts you.
All right, let up, let up.
I saw them together.
You saw them together in Birch's car? I don't know whose car it was.
Ah, who- who was the woman? I don't know her either.
All right, who was driving the car? Was Birch driving the car? No, no, that's what surprised me she was.
Birch wasn't the type of guy who let a dame do the driving.
Who gave you the tip on, uh, Leopold Heim? I don't know.
Oh, no! Come on, I'm telling the truth.
I got leads in two ways from Birch and from some woman.
What woman? I don't know.
Well, how do you know it wasn't a trap? She uses a password.
A password, eh? Well, what's the password? "Said the spider to the fly".
"Said the spider to the fly.
" Spider earrings.
Yeah "Spider earrings".
Very good, Fred.
Very, very good.
And, uh, what number did you call her at? Oh, I never called.
No, she called me.
Birch was the contact.
Are we, uh are we expecting anyone? Well, hello, there.
Ah-Ah-Ah.
Hello, Orrie.
Good to see you.
Just in time.
Thanks.
Come on in.
That hurts.
"That hurts," huh? Yeah, well, we're very serious here.
I've got the name of an ambulance, if you'd like.
Yes, it is serious serious enough to finish you, Goodwin.
Pipe down, pipe down.
I'm going to make a phone call.
Nero Wolfe.
Yeah, I need some advice.
I'm asleep.
Well, splash some And, so, I filled him in.
I talked about Mort, talked about Lips told him about the notebook with 1,000 names now in my pocket he could draw his own conclusion and I told him about lips' claim that Birch was the boss in the racket although the orders came from a woman he had never seen and how Denis Horan showed up in the middle of all this.
This is very satisfactory.
Apologize to Mr.
Horan.
What? Have a heart.
He's a lawyer.
We won't give him cards to play.
Keep the notebook.
Mention it to no one And put in the safe as soon as you get home.
Right, right.
Although it makes me ill to consider As Wolfe laid out the rest of the plan some of it was sketchy but, finally, I said I had it and I hung up.
those barbarians to my house.
Boys, you committed two felonies assault with a firearm on Fred And extortion on Saul.
Aw, you'll never make it stick.
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
Now, my inclination would to have the cops come down here and take you two birds away, but I work for Nero Wolfe, see? So, he might think differently.
He might want to bring you to his house for questioning.
That's we 're gonna do.
All right, you have one other choice which is to go to the cops.
Now, I'd be happy to take you down to the station But that's your only choice.
As for you, Mr.
Horan I want to tender our sincere apologies.
Because of these two characters.
Mr.
Wolfe would personally send his regrets as well.
Yes, and I would like to apologize to you for one other thing, actually.
I neglected to introduce you to Mr.
Saul Panzer Yes.
Thank you very much For all the help you've given me.
I appreciate very much.
Otherwise known as Leopold Heim.
That's it.
All right, now Please go out your business.
But there is, uh I had th this great idea.
In fairness to, uh, Mr.
Egan over here.
If we go down to Wolfe's house, you might want to, uh, be represented by an attorney and just by coincidence, guess what? There's an attorney in the room Mr.
Denis Horan.
Horan was in a pickle.
If Horan deserted them they might desert him But to say yes would tie him to them.
Isn't it a lawyer's duty to help a guy who's in a jam? So, it is, but I'm quite busy right now.
Yeah, so am I.
Of course.
Very well, I'll see what I can do.
Uh, we'll have to have a talk.
All right, let's go, boys.
Hey, bring those pliers for a souvenir, Fred.
Good morning.
Good morning.
All right, take it easy, Fred Don't kill anybody, all right? How did everything go? Good.
I took over from Fred about 5:30.
Fred, you awake? I'm going to get a coffee.
Did you sleep well? Oh, thank you.
This is insufferable! Well, then don't suffer.
I told you many times you can leave at any time you want.
How about us? For you, deluxe accommodations.
Your tie is crooked.
Eight breakfasts.
Well, that includes three houseguests.
Guests? Here? I am on a mission and I am starving.
Archie, I need $500.
What for? Phone calls.
Fritz, I'm just going to have that 'cause that looks great.
Mmm.
I knew it would be useless for me to guess what Wolfe had in mind for Orrie and I knew it would be useless to ask.
I also knew Wolfe well enough to know he had something up his sleeve.
He always did.
That must be inspector Cramer.
We called him when we got home last night And told him everything.
Well, almost everything.
Yeah? Yeah, we're on our way somewhere.
Where are these characters? And what do you want to tell me? Uh, come in.
What kept you so long? Mr.
Goodwin phoned more than six hours ago.
As you know my house is full of questionable characters and I want to get rid of them.
Where are they? Guilty of extortion.
And, and assault and I'm certain much more.
Archie will explain later.
But first, I have two questions.
Why did the man who killed the boy in broad daylight dare to run the risk of later identification by one or more onlookers? And the other question concerns the journey of the earrings bought by Mrs.
Fromm worn by the woman in the car some days later.
Then worn again by Mrs.
Fromm three days after that.
Can you explain that? No.
So I have provided my own answers.
But I can't expound upon them without naming my candidate.
If you're ready to name a candidate don't let me stop you.
Have you got one? Oh, yes.
The hell you have.
Name them.
The question was: "Have I a candidate?" Not "am I ready to nominate?" I may be in an hour or week, but not now.
What is it, Fred? Yes, sir.
Horan wants to speak with you; now.
Urgent.
Mm, this man Horan is a hyena and he irritates me.
Why don't you talk to him? Bring him in.
Oh, I think I've seen you work all the dodges there are, Wolfe but this one takes the cake.
And I don't get it.
Oh I'm glad you're here.
So am I.
I have decided to reveal a conversation I had with Mrs.
Fromm the night of my party.
I would have revealed it earlier except that, as her attorney I thought it privileged but now it seems critical.
Get to it, Horan.
She told me that she had received information that someone in the organization was furnishing the names of illegal immigrants to a blackmailing group led by Matthew Birch and that a man named Egan was involved.
She impressed on me especially the importance of avoiding any scandal that might damage the association.
It was so like her.
Always thinking of others, never of herself.
You okay? Yes.
Aren't you, uh, Egan's attorney? No no, that was a mistake.
I acted on impulse.
I've told him I can't act for him.
Purley, bring Egan.
You realize, of course that this man is evidently a low criminal and he's in a desperate situation.
He's scarcely a credible witness.
Yeah.
Come on in.
Let's take a pew.
Aren't you Lawrence Egan? Otherwise known as Lips Egan? Yeah.
Yeah.
That's me.
And Mr.
Horan here says he doesn't represent you anymore.
He also says that you're a low criminal and a That's not what I said! Shut up! One more interruption and out you go.
Did you say you wouldn't represent him anymore? Yes or no? Yes.
Did you say he was a low criminal? Yes.
Then shut up.
Have you seen this man before last night? Well? I got to think.
Don't hurt yourself.
He also said that you're involved in the blackmail scheme.
Yeah, I've seen him before last night.
I've seen him lots.
Dozens of times.
Right, brother? You lousy rat.
Sit down! He's in it up to his ears.
That's a lie! You led him into this.
Maybe so but I got all I need right now, Mr.
Horan.
You're being detained as a material witness in a murder and extortion case.
Purley.
Get him out of here and take the others with you.
Let's go, boys.
It's 9:00.
My orchids.
You mean you're just going to leave when When what? You've got this retch cornered and you're clawing away at him to get at another retch that unspeakable Horan.
I'm not after blackmailers.
I'm after a murderer.
You can deal with them just as effectively elsewhere.
You bet I can.
And I'm going to take your men with me all four of them.
You may have three of them but not Mr.
Cather, he's not here.
Where is he? I want him.
You can't have him.
He's on an errand.
Haven't I given you enough for one morning? Archie, do you remember where Orrie has gone? Couldn't remember to save me.
Good.
Don't try.
And the truth was I didn't have the smallest idea where Orrie was.
I've never seen as much top brass in one day as I did during the next eight hours.
Finally, they tied up a reasonably accurate statement and I was sent down to police commissioner Walter Neary's office.
Howdy, commish, what's up? So tell me about this deal with Jean Estey.
Again? It looks different now.
Well, I was over there I talked to a few And Mrs.
Horan and Angela Wright whose idea was that? Hey, that's you.
So, Wolfe knew.
I'll have to think about that one.
That fat son of a bitch.
He said he's ready to earn the money Mrs.
Fromm paid him to identify the murderer.
He wants Stebbins and me.
He wants the five people chiefly involved.
And if that's not enough he wants three or four policewomen not in uniform.
He wants you immediately.
He wants Durkin, Panzer and Egan.
And he says we'll be bringing the murderer with us.
He's a maniac.
Insufferable.
Get him down here.
He won't come.
You bring him.
Got a warrant? I'll get it.
Commissioner, he won't open his mouth.
He'll get out on bail Go home and do his own inviting.
Without us.
Well, I'll see you gentlemen later.
Always a pleasure commish.
Would someone please tell me what this is all about? I'm inspector Cramer.
New York homicide.
I want you to understand that this is official.
Only up to a point.
You were brought here by the police department.
With the approval of the D.
A.
I'm done with you.
But now, Nero Wolfe will proceed on his own.
I want you to understand that he has, uh, no authority to insist on any answers to any questions he may ask.
You understand that? This is, uh a little awkward.
I have only seen two of you before Mr.
Horan and Mr.
Kuffner.
Mr.
Goodwin has provided me with a chart, but I'd like to check.
You're miss Jean Estey? Yes.
Mrs.
Angela Wright? Cheer up.
Mrs.
Denis Horan? I don't see Mr.
Goodwin tells me you have a charming little pet.
Thank you all for coming.
Uh, this is the first time I've undertaken to single out a murderer from a group of mostly strangers.
It seems a little presumptuous but let's see.
I have no questions to ask but indeed I have questions to ask of myself.
For instance why did Mrs.
Fromm wear those golden spider earrings when she came to see me? Answer: they were part of an attempted imposture.
She wanted to impersonate the woman who was wearing them in the car in order to find out what I knew.
Another question.
Why did Mr.
Horan go to the factory last night? Answer: because his greed had impelled him to a foolish action giving Leopold Heim's name and address to Mr.
Lips Egan and he was alarmed.
I protest.
Inspector Cramer, this is slander.
You're a lawyer.
Sue him.
Mr.
Horan.
If I were you I'd stop blathering About your implication in blackmail and extortion.
On that you're sunk, and you know it and now you're confronted with a much greater danger identification as the murderer of Pete Drossos.
But, I-I You can't possibly escape a term in jail but with my help you may go on living.
I suppose most of you know nothing of the extortion enterprise which has resulted in the death of three people.
So you can't follow me throughout but one of you will most assuredly be able to follow me.
Where do I begin? With the golden spider earrings.
Unusual and very unattractive.
Why would a woman of taste like Mrs.
Fromm, upon seeing these earrings in a store window, be motivated to purchase them? Perhaps she didn't find them unattractive.
Tastes differ? Ptooey.
Do you remember Mr.
Lips Egan saying that in phoning him a woman used a password? What was it, Mr.
Egan? "Said the spider to a fly.
" Exactly.
"Said the spider " Perhaps Mrs.
Fromm had overheard that peculiar password used and the impulse struck her to play a kind of game with those who she thought might be involved.
What game? Possibly to see if anyone would respond.
What we do know is that a woman wearing those earrings was driving a car with a man and mouthed the words "Help.
Get a cop.
" to a boy named Pete Drossos And the car suddenly drove off.
The next day, the same car now driven by a man, ran over the boy at a fairly busy intersection.
We know it was a man driving because witnesses caught a glimpse of him.
So, obviously the driver was the man in the car with the woman the day before.
This seemed obvious because this man would be afraid that Pete Drossos could identify him.
But that theory was invalidated when I learned that the man in the car with the woman was Matthew Birch and Matthew Birch had been killed the nightbefore Pete Drossos was run over.
So who was the driver? I put myself in his place.
I can't expect to kill the boy at my first attempt.
I must anticipate driving through that intersection several, or even many times.
There will be people around.
Witnesses.
So what do I do? Wear a mask? A false beard? No.
I proceed with my hazardous and mortal adventure dressed in a brown suit and a felt hat.
Manifestly either I am a peerless dunce or I am a woman.
Let's say, hypothetically I am a woman.
For if I am a woman, many of the complexities disappear since most of the roles now become mine.
I am, let us say, involved in the blackmailing project.
I may even direct it.
Mrs.
Fromm catches wind of it, she becomes suspicious.
She asks me guarded questions.
She even gives me the spider earrings as a gift to provoke a reaction.
I tell Matthew Birch, one of my accomplices about Mrs.
Fromm's suspicions.
He insists upon meeting me.
He has me drive his car, which is unusual.
He suddenly produces a gun and orders me to drive somewhere.
Whatever the cause of his hostility I know his character.
I fear for my life.
At a corner the car stops.
A boy approaches to wipe my window.
His face is close to mine.
I mouth the words, "help.
Get a cop.
" Birch prods me and we go.
I recover from my panic.
Somewhere, sometime, I catch him off-guard and attack.
I disable him, but I do not shoot him.
I have him in the car, helpless and unconscious and later that night, I drive to a secluded alley, dump him out run his body over several times, park the car, and go home.
I could make up this story.
Show me the proof.
I intend to.
The next day I decide the boy is a threat not to be tolerated.
He may identify me as Birch's companion in the car.
So that afternoon, dressed as a man I get the car from where I parked it and dispatch the boy Ending that possibility.
Proof.
Proof.
Where's the proof? Mrs.
Fromm was going to the Horans' apartment for dinner that night.
I found her car parked nearby.
I hid on the floor behind the front seat Armed with a tire wrench.
Horan came down with her, but Hold it.
Hold it! I got 'em here, but there's a limit.
Give me a fact or we're through.
Archie, let them in, please.
The red chair.
My name is Nero Wolfe.
What is your business, Mr.
Levine? I'm a partner in B.
and S.
Levine.
The "S" is for sidney, my brother.
And the business? A clothing store, men's clothing on Fillmore street in Brooklyn.
Why are you here? Well there was this phone call at the store, and a man said that this wife had bought for him a felt hat and a brown suit last week and did we remember about it and I said, "sure" and he said, to make sure, would I describe her, and I did.
And then, what happened? Then he talked me into coming here.
What a talker that man is.
A salesman he should be.
I want to know about the woman who bought the brown suit and felt hat.
She's here.
I saw her as soon as I sat down.
All right.
It's a fact.
I was a fool.
I bought the suit for claire Horan.
She asked me to, and I did it.
You bitch! That's a lie! She's a murderer and a liar! Shut up! Shut up, you fool! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! All right, Purley.
Get 'em out of here all of 'em.
Get 'em out of here.
Mrs.
Horan, too.
Get her out of here.
I felt I owed Lon Cohen a good shot for his paper.
He'd done me some good favors and now he'd do a few more.
He said you wanted to see me? I said that, Mrs.
Drossos.
Mrs.
Drossos, this is for you.
This is $5,000.
It's half of Mr.
Wolfe's fee.
You see, Mr.
Wolfe and Pete were partners and he would like you to have that.
But, I, I, I gave him Pete's money, five dollars.
I know.
Wolfe believes that a deal is a deal.
But why does he not give it to me himself? Mr.
Wolfe, uh, is a bit of a coward, you see.
A coward? He hates to see a woman cry.
Thank you for coming.
Fritz will see you home.
Don't tell him I cried.
I will not.
Well, I gave her half of Mrs.
Fromm's fee.
And she took it? Of course she took it.
Did she did she, uh? Maybe when she left the house.
But not a single tear inthe house.
Well, that's remarkable, Archie.
It's very, very remarkable.
Remarkable.