Tucker's Witch (1982) s01e00 Episode Script

Pilot

- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
- You're up early.
What are you doing? - My dream diary.
- Oh, what is it this time? - It's not nice.
It's those elevator murders.
- Where are the aspirin? What'd you do with the aspirin? Elevator murders? - You know those three girls that were strangled in elevators? - I wish Jerry and Tina wouldn't serve that cheap red wine.
- You don't have to drink it.
- Keeps me from having bad dreams.
I can never find the aspirin.
- Why don't you try some of mother's primrose tea? I think it might work.
- I've got a better idea.
- Rick.
- Hmm? - Rick, I'm working.
- My headache's going away.
- So is my dream.
- It's definitely working.
- Bless you.
- Dickens, beat it.
I said scram.
Come on, pal, you know the rules.
- Wait a minute, Rick, I think that she has a message for me.
- It'll keep.
- No.
- Amanda, that's not fair.
- I'm sorry, but it could be important.
- Why do you have such a terrific-- Why can't witches get messages from a fish or a canary? Why does it have to be a cat? - Okay, Dickens, this better be good.
Rick! - Hmm? - There's been a fourth.
- Fourth what? - Elevator murder.
And we're gonna get involved.
- There's only one thing we're gonna get involved in and that's a vacation, someplace where there are no missing persons, no insurance frauds, no blackmailers, no strangled girls, and definitely no cats.
- Wanna bet? - I got five says you're wrong.
- You're on.
Rick.
Rick, his name is Frank.
- Whose name? - I don't know, I just flashed on the name Frank.
I think he might have something to do with the elevator murders.
- Amanda, in the first hour of this day, I've been subjected to bad dreams, slamming doors, messages from Dickens.
Please spare me one of your flashes.
- Now wait a minute, Buster, my flashes have gotten us a whole lot further than your facts.
- Oh, it is true, the facts this morning seem relatively insignificant.
City council voted to rezone Tarzana.
The aspirins weren't where they were supposed to be, and the kitchen sink is still leaking because your mother once again failed to be here to let the plumber in.
These fact, however meager, are things I can count on.
- Good morning.
- Are you saying that you can't count on me? - Last week you were convinced Harvey Winston's gun wasn't loaded.
You nearly got yourself killed.
- What? - All right, all right, that's true.
That's absolutely true, but what about all the other times? - Amanda, it scares me when you start putting too much faith in this stuff.
It's too unreliable.
One of these days it's gonna let you down when you're really counting on it.
- He's right, dear.
- Good morning, Mother.
- Good morning.
- Are you gonna be around this afternoon to let the plumber in? - No problem.
I have dozens of orders to fill.
Oh, I'm afraid Myra got loose this morning.
Honestly, that goat! She got into my herbs again and ate all the valerian.
- Nothing in here about your fourth murder.
Dickens should check his sources.
- Let me see that.
- Pretty flowers, Ellen.
Who's Bernie? - Oh, he's driving me to my Chinese cooking class this morning.
He makes a wonderful shrimp szechuan.
My goodness, look at the time! He'll be here any moment.
I had no idea it was so late.
- It isn't.
- Amanda, dear, if you are going to practice on the clocks, I wish you would reset them afterwards.
- Sorry, I forgot again.
Come on, move, damn it.
- Close, dear.
- Oh, come on, Mom, I missed.
- I rest my case.
- Oh, that can't be Bernie already.
I, oh, I gotta let him in.
- That's Marcia and there's something up at the office.
- You wanna bet? - Five bucks.
- You're on.
Hello? Hello, Marcia.
Yeah, I'll put you on the box.
Go ahead, we're both here.
- There's a woman here in the office who's really anxious to talk to you.
- Did she say what it was about? - Those elevator murders.
The second victim was her sister.
- Go on.
- They discovered another body this morning.
That's the fourth.
She thinks she knows who the killer is.
- Tell her we'll be right in.
Don't look so smug.
- Mrs.
Delasandro from across the street and you know who.
- Here we are! Ta-dum! Well, what do you think? - She's amazing.
- And that was just a preview.
Now don't forget, it's the Monica Clinger School of Dance and it's on the corner of Olympic and La Brea.
We'll see you at 4:00 sharp.
What's at 4:00 sharp? - Adele's recital.
You are coming, aren't you? Rick promised.
- It slipped my mind.
- He's a violent man, Mr.
Tucker.
He used to beat my sister.
- What reasons would he have for killing the other three women? Did he know them? - The police say he didn't, but I think he's pulling the wool over their eyes.
There's something he isn't telling.
Don't ask me what it is, but I feel it right here in my gut.
- Miss Barringer, we have to have more to go on than just your intuition.
- Mr.
Tucker, I built a $2 million cosmetic business on my intuition, and I thought you'd understand about intuition, especially you, Mrs.
Tucker.
Aren't you supposed to be a psychic or something? - This is a detective agency, Miss Barringer.
If I have any special talents, they're not something we rely on.
We deal in hard, cold facts here.
- Well, I don't have any hard, cold facts.
That's why I came to you.
- So we can help you nail your brother-in-law? What if he turns out to be innocent? - I loved my sister a great deal, Mr.
Tucker.
I want the murderer caught, whoever he is.
- Well, we'll have to meet with your brother-in-law.
Where can we find him? - He works for the construction company that's putting up the new Fleischman building in Century City.
He's an electrician.
- What's his name? - Kopcheck.
Frank Kopcheck.
- Did you say Frank? - It's really Francis.
- I do not owe you $5.
We did not bet on his name.
- Why don't that pushy broad just keep her mouth shut, you know? First the cops, now you.
What is this? - She thinks you killed her sister.
- I was bowling that night.
I got a whole team that says I was there.
- She also says you used to beat your wife.
- Okay, now look, buddy, I don't know who you think you are.
You don't come up here! You don't-- - Mr.
Kopcheck! Mr.
Kopcheck! We're not trying to nail you.
We just wanna find out who murdered your wife.
We need your help.
- Once.
I hit her once.
I did not used to beat her.
- When was that? - A couple of days before she got killed, I found out she was cheating on me, so I called her on it and when I did, she just denied it, you know, so I dealt with it But that don't make me a murdered, you know.
Look, I don't care what my sister-in-law says about me.
I loved my wife.
- Do you happen to have any small personal item that she carried around with her? - Why? - Well, I can sometimes tell a lot about people from their personal effects.
- Wait a minute.
I got a keyring of hers.
Would that help? - D-M, any idea whose initials these are? - They weren't hers.
- What about the guy she was seeing? What's his name? - I'd like to find that out myself.
- Do you mind if we borrow this for a while? - Yeah, sure, go right ahead.
I don't need it anymore.
- Thanks.
I've got an idea.
The company he works for put up at least one of the other buildings where the bodies were found.
- You can scratch Frank Kopcheck.
- You always were a sucker for sentiment.
- No, no, I'm getting the image of a short, bald man with beady, black eyes.
He's the one we're looking for.
- Kopcheck's clean as a whistle.
We checked him out.
Had an airtight alibi for every one of those murders.
- What about were there any link between the murders? - Oh, same MO.
Always strangulation, always in an elevator, always in a new high-rise.
- Well, what about the girls? Did they have anything in common? - Two blondes, one brunette, and now a redhead.
Two tall, one short, one average.
Three in their 20s, one in her 40s.
All married.
- You don't have much to go on, do you? - No.
No, no, no.
But it certainly makes me feel a whole lot better to know that you two are on board again.
Tell me, Mrs.
Tucker, any of your famous insights? - I'm working on it.
- Good, good.
But if you decide the murder weapon's at the bottom of the La Brea Tar Pits like last time, please keep it to yourself, huh? I'm still trying to live that one down.
- I've got a feeling that I'm gonna make up for that on this one, Sergeant Fisk.
- Oh, you're not gonna crack this case.
We've gone over every piece of evidence with a fine tooth comb.
We've done blood tests, fiber tests, hair tests, logistic analyses, ran them all through the computer.
What'd we come up with? Zilch.
You're dealing with random killings here.
Girls just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Why don't you do yourself a favor? Tell your client her brother-in-law's clean and go look for somebody's lost cocker spaniel.
- You're probably right, Sergeant.
Oh, by the way, do you mind if I take a look at that charm bracelet before we go? - Oh, yeah, sure.
We found it under the body.
It must've fallen off during the struggle.
We checked it for fingerprints.
Say, how did you know about this bracelet? - Oh, you mentioned it to one of your men just now when we arrived.
- I did? Oh.
- Pretty, huh? - Uh-huh.
- One of us should check the relatives of the other victims, see if those initials mean anything.
- You think the initials are the link we're looking for.
- You think your mother remembered to let the plumber in? - So let's say you're the killer.
- Hmm? - How do you know that you're not gonna bump into somebody coming off the elevator? - That's why I pick new buildings.
They're deserted, no tenants.
- Very clever.
- See, I lure the girls into the elevator, then push the stop button between floors.
- Why? - You know how long it takes to strangle somebody? Let's get out of here.
- I think you people are sick.
- Good morning, Arnie.
- Five trips for one leaky faucet.
- I forgot.
Oh, that poor man.
He'll never speak to me again.
I've just had so much on my mind lately.
- He'll get used to it.
How's business? - 10 more orders for Slumberland Tea.
I knew it would be a big seller.
- Are you sure they're drinking it, not smoking it? - Oh, well, whatever.
Helps pay the rent.
- Any patterns emerging? - You tell me.
These flags are the murder sites.
These pins, all the new high-rises near completion in the city.
- Looks random to me.
- Morning.
- Marcia, good morning.
What's all this? - Copies of all the coverage on the murders, right back to day one.
Rick asked for them.
Oh, and by the way, Rick, you were right about the initials.
- Did you call the Secretary of State's office? - Yep, they referred me to the department of trademarks.
I had to go down there in person to get the dope.
According to them, the initials D-M are registered to some video dating service.
- Now wait a minute, wait a minute.
You didn't tell me about this.
- I don't tell you everything.
Besides, I was only following up your hunch.
- Hunch? - That the initials were the link.
- Video dating service, huh? - Yeah, you know, one of those high-tech lonely hearts clubs.
This one's an outfit called Data Match.
- I'll go in and join, see what I can find out.
You check out those other relatives.
- Wait a minute, why don't I go in and join while you check the relatives? - Honey, if the killer turns out to be one of those members, it could be very dangerous.
- It could also be a lot of fun.
I'll flip you for it.
- All right.
Call it.
- Tails.
- I guess that settles it.
Amanda! That's not fair.
- Okay.
To show you what a sport I am, we'll both join.
And you can go first.
- Well, we're always open for new members, Mr.
Tucker.
The more, the merrier.
Let me call Danny, our manager.
There's a Mr.
Tucker here who'd like to join.
Okay.
He said he'll be right out.
- Great.
- Hi.
I'm Danny Kirkwood.
Welcome to Data Match.
Now when you find a girl in the profile that you're interested in, you come on over here to our tape library and you locate her tape according to her code number.
Then you come on over here to one of our viewing booths and you take a look at it.
- What about viewing it at home? - No, sorry, no tapes or profiles allowed off the premise.
House rules.
- Gotcha.
What if I like what I see? - Well, then we let her know that you're interested.
She comes on down and views your tape.
If the lady likes what she sees, you're in business.
- Uh-huh.
- This is the file room.
You can put your membership on hold for up to six months, if you're away on business or find a young lady you want to concentrate on for a while.
- Sounds fair.
Terminated? - Yeah, past members and dropouts.
You'd be surprised how many people rejoin.
- Hi, I'm Laurie.
I'm gonna be taping your interview.
Just follow me.
- I'm not gonna be here when you're through.
Laurie's our assistant manager.
You'll be in great hands.
- Can you have a seat right here, please? - So I'm gonna give this to you right now.
- What's this? - That says you're a member in good standing of Data Match.
It's the beginning of a whole new way of life for you.
- Okay, now look at the camera.
- So what name did you use when you joined? - My own.
I'm an insurance adjuster.
- I think I'll use my maiden name and give them the office phone and address.
- I used the office.
- Okay, I'll use the home phone and address.
- Did you come up with anything when you talked with the relatives of the other victims? - None of them had even heard of Data Match.
How'd you do? - I went through all the profiles in that library.
I didn't come up with one of the victims, not even the two we know for a fact were members.
- Well, that makes sense.
I mean, they're hardly available for dating.
They must've been pulled.
- And put in the terminated file.
- The what? - They hang onto the records of all past members in a special file.
- You wanna bet we find all four of them there? And if we do, the killer has got to be another member.
I'll tell you one thing, I'll spot him when I go through those profiles tomorrow.
I'd know him anywhere.
Short, bald, beady black eyes.
His face is getting clearer and clearer all the time.
You know what bothers me? The club never informed the police that two of the members were victims.
But think of the publicity.
I mean, a thing like that could ruin a dating agency.
You're right.
We've got to get into that special file.
Mm-mmm, he's at it again.
- The peeper? - I'll fix him.
- Hey, Rick.
You're gonna do all right, pal.
You've already had requests of three of our most popular girls.
- Excuse me, Danny.
I think Miss Hobbs has a problem.
- Excuse me.
Hi, can I help you? - Hi, I've done the dumbest thing.
I forgot my glasses and I'm making a mess of this application.
Do you think that you could help me? - I bet I can.
Do you mind if I move this briefcase? - It belongs to the gentleman over there.
- Rick, is this yours? - Yeah, thanks.
- Okay, Rick, I've got your first tape set up if you wanna come on back.
Okay, I'll be in my office if you need me.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
I'm all yours.
Yeah, all right.
- Hi, I'm Babs.
I have an insatiable appetite for life and people.
I love roller coaster rides, pink champagne, long walks on the beach, yellow roses, and sensitive men.
You know what I mean.
I'm a woman of many moods.
Impulses yet to course.
Humor, shy sometimes, uninhibited, yet discriminating in my passions.
- There's more to you than meets the eye, Amanda.
Dancing, music, sports.
I think you're gonna be very much in demand.
- I hope so.
- Well, you wanna see the rest of the place? Come on, I'll show you.
- Amanda? Amanda, are you all right? - I'm nervous.
- Yeah, you gotta relax.
- I'll try.
- In here's the library.
On the bottom shelf, we have the profiles for the men.
Oh, Rick, I'd like you to meet Amanda.
Amanda, this is Rick.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Amanda just joined today.
As a matter of fact, looking at her profile, I'd say you two might have a lot in common.
- Is that right? - Rick just joined the other day himself.
He's already very much in demand.
- Oh, really? - Marilyn, Liz, Babs.
- Oh, Babs.
I thought she had a lot to offer.
- It's a good choice, good choice, great gal.
Little bit independent, but she gets her share of repeat calls.
- Lucky ol' Babs.
- Okay, we are set up for Amanda's interview now.
- It was nice meeting you.
- Rick.
- Rick.
- Right this way.
- I think you did it again, pal.
Look, I'll give you a call as soon as I set up that date with Babs, okay? - Oh! - No, no, let me get that for you.
- Thanks, Danny, I'm always forgetting this thing.
- You know, that guy's briefcase was empty when he got here.
Now it's not.
- Uh-oh, another member with sticky fingers.
- Yeah, I guess I better check.
- I really don't see why you have to go through with that dumb date.
Hi, I'm Babs.
I'm insatiable.
- You looked at her tape? - Curiosity got the better of me.
- Well, I think she may be helpful.
In first place, she's married, but separated.
Second place, Danny said she gets a lot of repeat dates.
- I'll bet.
- One of them could be our killer.
- More likely she's the killer.
She looked pretty tough to me.
- Like a short, bald man with beady, black eyes.
- Who knows? Contact lenses and a wig? If I were you, I'd give her hair a nice, big pull.
- I love you when you get like this.
Gotta run.
- What's the rush? - Gotta pick her up in 15 minutes.
See ya later.
- Now stop it.
I know what you're doing and it's not going to work.
Now this time, I'm really leaving.
Amanda, this is no time for games.
I'm leaving right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh boy.
I'm gonna be very late.
Amanda, I've got work to do.
- All right.
Business before pleasure.
- That's more like it.
See ya later.
On second thought, don't bother waiting up for me.
- Yeah, that's me.
Everything right up front, nothing left to the imagination.
- I wouldn't say that.
- Mmm, this is gonna be fun.
- Listen, I know you like the beach, so I made reservations in Malibu.
- Uh, uh-uh.
I made the date so we go in my car.
- Okay.
- I pick out the restaurant.
I pay the tab.
And afterwards, we come back to my apartment.
When you make the date, you get to call the shots.
Those are my rules.
Everybody sticks to them.
Okay? - Okay by me.
- I'd like to find a man.
Actually, I'd like to find different types of men.
I think I'm looking for a variety of interpersonal relationships.
- In other words, you're really interested in playing the field, is that right? - Yeah.
- I fixed you a sandwich and a glass of milk.
Any luck? - Nothing.
I was so sure I could pick up a sense of the killer from these tapes.
- My goodness, it's cold in here.
- Oh! You gave me such a start.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mother.
Look, any time my little stunts start getting in your way, you just tell me.
- Oh, yes, I will.
I'll get used to them again, darling.
It'll just take me a little time.
- I just want you to be happy here.
- Besides nothing that you do is nearly so maddening as the tricks your grandmother used to play.
We never knew what she was gonna do next.
- Now she was a character.
She certainly knew her craft.
I only wish I had her command.
Mine's so unreliable.
- Maybe you're trying too hard, dear.
Well, I remember that my mother used to say to me, if you have the knack, don't force it.
It will just come in its own sweet time.
Of course, in my case, it never did.
- It's funny how it skips a generation like that.
Did you ever feel left out? - Oh no.
Frankly, I was relieved.
I wouldn't have wanted all that responsibility.
Besides, having your grandmother in the house was quite enough.
I pity your poor father.
He had the patience of Job.
Bless his heart.
- You still miss him, don't ya? - Yes.
But being here with you and Rick, it isn't so bad.
You don't mind about Bernie, do you? - Mother, I couldn't be more pleased.
- You'll like him.
He's a nice man.
You'll meet him.
He's a widower.
Of course, he's not your father.
But he's good company.
That's Bernie now.
We're off to the movies.
Don't forget your sandwich.
- Hello? Hello? - Hi, this is Danny.
- Danny? - Danny Kirkwood from Data Match.
Look, I know it's kinda short notice, but I was wondering if you were free for dinner.
- Dinner? - You haven't eaten already, have you? - Well, as a matter of fact, I haven't.
- Terrific.
Listen, to tell you the truth, I was very impressed with your interview.
- Thanks.
- I'd like to see more of you.
- Is that okay? I mean, for management to date clients? - There's no rules against it.
As a matter of fact, the last manager married one of the clients.
- I suppose I could.
- Pick you up in about 15 minutes.
- Wait a minute.
Why not? Dickens, come on.
What's good for the gander is good for the goose.
- I'll bet some of the guys you meet through Data Match are a little weird, huh? - A couple, yeah.
- Any of them ever try to get rough? - With me? I'm a black belt.
Hey, what are you doing way over there, huh? Come on over here and give me a kiss.
- Shouldn't you keep your eye on the road? - Oh, relax, sweetie.
I could drive this road with my eyes shut.
Now where's that kiss? Come on.
- Look out! - No fair, you're peeking.
- Hey, you wanna hear something real funny? The brakes are out.
- Put it in low.
- I'm trying to.
It won't go.
It wont', ahh! - You all right? - Uh, yeah, I think so.
How 'bout you? - I'm okay I think.
- I don't understand.
I just had these brakes fixed.
- Who knew you were going out tonight? - Nobody I can think of.
Except, well, the people down at Data Match office, that's all.
- Carol and Laurie.
- Yeah, and Danny, of course.
He keeps tabs on all the girls.
- All set.
- Where are we going for dinner? - Fun, new place.
Just opened.
- Really, where is it? - Oh, it's not far.
It's a fabulous view.
- Is in the The Hills? - No, it's a new high-rise, top floor.
You'll love it.
- I wish I brought some bread crumbs.
- I'm sorry? - I was just saying I wish I brought something to munch on.
I'm starving.
- We're almost there, hang on.
- That's funny.
- I think we're outta gas.
- Where's your ladies' room? - Around the back.
- Thanks, I'll be right back.
Rick! - Hi, we aren't able to come to the phone right now, but if you'd care to leave a message.
- Swell.
Everything okay? - Yeah, it seems to be.
Damndest thing, though, the tank was almost full, right? - Must've been something in the gas line.
- Isn't that strange? - Hi, fella, where's Amanda? Amanda? Amanda? - Rick, it's me.
You're not gonna believe this, but I think Danny Kirkwood is our man.
I'm with him now, supposedly on a date.
I'm at the corner of Pico and Beverly.
I don't know how much he knows, but he's taking me to a recently completed high-rise somewhere near here.
He says it's got a fabulous view.
I'll bet it does.
I'm gonna try and nail him.
You better bring the cavalry.
I gotta go now, hurry! - Dickens! Thanks, pal.
- Top floor? - Mm-hmm.
- Hey, what are you doing? - Private detectives have been known to carry guns, Mrs.
Tucker.
- Now wait a minute.
- Oh no, you don't! - Rick, wait! - What? - Don't let me down now.
I got him, wanna bet? - No bet.
- Well, what's going on here? - We've got your elevator murderer, Sergeant Fisk.
- Really? Where are you hiding him? - Where else? - You can't miss him.
He's a short, bald man with beady, black eyes.
- Apparently, Danny Kirkwood's wife used to cheat on him all the time.
Finally, she ran off with a guy she met through a dating service, so Danny sets himself up with Data Match.
Started killing off other married women who were doing the same thing.
Guess in his own sick way, he thought he was getting back at her.
Too bad he had to drag Data Match into it.
I think they provide an excellent service, for people who are looking for that kind of thing.
Then it only takes one rotten apple.
You know, Babs wasn't really so bad.
I'll bet if I had hung in there, I could find the girl of my dreams.
- Rick? - Hmm? - Come here.

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