007: Road to a Million (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

[lion roar]
[suspenseful music]
[Kamara] Okay, there's the junction.
[Josh] Let's go.
Just look out for signs.
Just keep an eye out for signs.
Il Ponte Di Gravina.
[Kamara] Di Gravina.
[epic music]
[Josh] Ooh.
[Kamara] Oh, my days. What the hell?
Look for the highest point.
[Josh] Up on those buildings?
By the church bell?
- [Kamara] Unless it's the crane?
- [Josh] The The crane?
Yeah. There's something
sticking out up there.
Oh, my God.
[suspenseful music]
[epic music]
[The Controller]
If you put ordinary people
into a James Bond Adventure,
would they crumble?
Fold like a pack of cards?
Or would some rise to the challenge,
if given the right encouragement?
No, Grace. Wait.
[Grace] We're so close. So close.
[The Controller] What would people
go to the ends of the Earth for?
Here we go again, brother.
[The Controller] For love?
For family?
- I'm getting a signal on the left, Dad.
- Yeah.
- On the Dad, yeah.
- There is no left turn.
Just go that way.
- [James] This is rear wheel drive.
- [Sam] Dad, go.
[The Controller] Now.
If our world has taught us anything
[suspenseful music]
The best way to motivate people
is with money.
[music intensifies]
[intense ominous music]
Nine million pounds.
Nine pairs of real people.
One million for each of them.
I've placed ten questions
around the world.
[James] That phone's ringing. Hello?
- [The Controller] Find them.
- Hello?
[The Controller]
Answer them.
Win a million pounds.
[Joey] Million-pound, man.
What wouldn't you do?
[epic music]
[grunts]
[yells]
[music stops abruptly]
The only thing standing in their way
is me.
[James Bond theme music tones]
[James Bond theme]
[James Bond theme music tones]
[soft suspenseful music]
[The Controller]
Let's start with these two.
James and Joey Bone,
the Bone brothers of South London.
[James] Some of those mountains
look a bit naughty, don't they?
[Joey] Proper naughty.
It's frightening. It's
- [James] It's a little daunting.
- Have we got to climb that?
[Joey] We're definitely not
in Croydon anymore, Jimmy Boy.
[phone ringing]
That phone's ringing.
[phone continues ringing]
Hello?
[The Controller]
The first question is for £5,000.
- First question, 5,000.
- Okie doke.
- [The Controller] You have to find it.
- You have to find it.
[The Controller] Cross the hills
behind this telephone box.
[James] Cross the hills
behind this telephone box.
- Until you reach a rocky mountain.
- Until you reach a rocky mountain.
- Climb it.
- Climb it.
[The Controller] On the other side,
descend to the sea cove.
On the other side,
descend to the sea cove.
[static]
That's it.
- [Joey] That's it.
- That's it.
Behind this here is the rocky mountain.
Climb that and descend to the sea cove.
I'm guessing that way.
[James] All right, well
Do you wanna try and find somewhere
that's a bit easier to cross
or you gonna go straight for it?
- D'you wanna hold me hand?
- Hold it?
Like being a little boy again.
[both laugh]
Who's holding mine?
[Joey laughs]
That's my 42-year-old brother there.
[Joey] The skinny jeans.
Not really the apparel that we want.
These are me best jeans and all.
[suspenseful music]
[Joey] I'd like to think
we're both intelligent.
Got good general knowledge.
And also, a drive to reach the goal.
- Thing is, you might lose your money.
- Yeah.
We might take your money.
[James] One step at a time but
[Joey] But that is looking daunting.
[James] Yeah,
that ain't gonna be no easy task.
Look at that sheep. That's a sheep.
[Joey] He's seen better days, ain't he?
[James] My brother's
always kind of looked out for me.
There's a few instances
where we would've had a scrap,
but when you are, like, nine,
trying to fight a 15-year-old,
I don't fancy my chances,
you know what I mean?
Fucking hell, Joe, there's a snake.
Jesus.
It's an adder.
- [Joey] It's hissing. It's nervous.
- [James] Don't get too close.
That's madness, innit?
When he was a baby, he was really chunky.
He looked like tortoise.
I used to call him a tortoise.
He was really round,
and he had a big, round head.
Me and my sister, where we were older,
we just used to carry him about.
My mum would say,
"He's never gonna learn to walk."
[Joey] Look at the mist.
It's like Hound of the Baskervilles.
Almost in giant country, look.
Top of the clouds.
[James] There was always money problems
and that, growing up.
When I was four,
my mum and dad got divorced.
If you're living in a house
anxious about money,
there's always that element of stress.
It almost seemed intangible
you would actually have a load of dough.
[suspenseful music]
[Joey] You're consciously thinking
about next week, if work dries up.
What about in two months' time,
if something happens?
[Joey] The bottom of the back, the knees
Starting to kick in innit?
[Joey]and the calves are screaming.
[Joey] A million pounds,
it's a life-changing amount.
60/40 split I'm sure will be fine
with James, you know?
[Joey] This looks like a cove.
Yeah. This is covey, innit?
- [James] There's a bag.
- [Joey] Is it like
[James] Oh! Nearly done my ankle.
What are we looking for? A signal?
Genuinely don't know.
Something that looks unusual.
You know, something that looks
like it shouldn't be there.
The "sea cove" is his words.
So, are we going more into the sea?
I can't see anything
immediately in front of us.
Unless I'm absolutely losing the plot.
[Joey] We're tired now.
Physically I'm knackered.
Ain't gonna lie,
I actually feel all right.
You're six years younger than me though.
There you go! In between those rocks.
I can see a
There's something there.
Gotta pull that in there,
must be on a box or something.
- Do it sharp, right.
- Yeah, bit by bit.
- Are we moving it, or not?
- I don't think we are.
Shall I just go in? I'll just go in.
[James] I should've taken my clothes off.
Ah, it's gonna hit me knackers
in a minute.
I'm trying to see how far it goes.
[Joey] Is the chain on the floor?
Can you see it?
Do you want me to come in as well?
How easy we thought that was.
We just pull that chain in.
[James] I'll move,
I'll pull it in as well.
[Joey] There ain't a lot
of footing here, you know?
[grunts]
I can see something. It's here.
We are moving it!
[grunts]
- Is there something there?
- Got it.
Oh, you got it?
Oh, sweet. Well done, boy.
[breathing heavily]
[both grunt]
[Joey] Jesus Christ.
- [James] Pull that one.
- [Joey] Pull that out. Look, that's it.
Joe, if we don't get
this bloody question right now
- That's it, we're done.
- Let's get that up on dry land.
[James] There you go.
Push it to the side.
[Joey] Perfect.
- Oh, my God.
- [Joey] Oh, mate, proper bit of kit.
[The Controller]
You're in the Inner Hebrides.
Some of the most rugged
and beautiful islands in the world.
Buried here are said to be the remains
of over 40 Scottish kings
who ruled these lands in the Dark Ages.
One of these kings
was immortalised by Shakespeare.
What was that king's name?
Hamlet, Richard III, Macbeth.
- Hamlet definitely, was a Dane. Hamlet.
- He's speaks to the skull
- Hamlet was a prince.
- Macbeth's the one with the witches.
- The witches are around him and all that.
- Macbeth's Scottish.
- I get that with the name Mac.
- The thing is
- Is Richard III a Shakespeare play?
- Yeah.
Yeah? I mean
Richard III is the disabled king.
You're the English
I'm not trying to put it all on you
No, put it on me,
but I don't remember him being Scottish,
I feel like he's an English king.
The only thing that makes me think
it's Richard III
is it's one of Shakespeare's
historical plays,
which are based on real kings,
i.e. Henry III, Henry V, Richard III.
Macbeth is a tragedy.
- Just like Romeo and Juliet.
- [Joey] Which wasn't real.
Whereas Shakespeare's historical plays
are based on real figures.
This is where after an eight-hour trek,
your brain's gone.
[James] No,
Not Hamlet. That's out the window.
[Joey] It's between B or C, innit?
As someone who's not as well-read as you,
regarding Shakespeare,
English and whatever, you know,
I know Macbeth, I've heard of him.
I know he's a Scottish guy,
but is he a real person?
Was he a king?
But he was based in the Dark Ages.
That's the thing.
- What's Richard III based on then?
- Now is the winter of our discontent.
- You know that famous speech.
- I'm not as well-read as you.
- So Richard, the Lionheart, who's that?
- I don't think that's Richard III.
Richard III was a king
that, basically, was deformed.
Me brain's gone to mush.
Sometimes you gotta go with
the obvious answer,
and Macbeth is Scottish.
You know what I mean?
Should we go with the obvious answer then?
[suspenseful music]
Oh, fucking hell.
- I just don't know, man.
- I mean, I
To go through all of that,
what we've gone through,
even pulling it out the water,
to ask a question like that.
I've got no clue. I would say Macbeth.
[Joey] If it wasn't multiple choice,
it was just a question
- Just go with it.
- I'd say Macbeth.
- Just go with it.
- I'm scared.
- I know, so am I.
- I'm scared.
A lot of money, man.
[laughs]
- Forget the five grand.
- Oh, man. It's a proper Proper
Oh, no.
[The Controller] In front of you
are three smoke grenades,
A, B and C.
Green smoke is the right answer,
red smoke is the wrong answer.
- Yeah, go for C.
- You sure?
- Go for it.
- All right.
Go for it. If it's wrong, it's wrong.
I mean, you know
[suspenseful music]
All right. So we're going C, Macbeth.
[both yell excitedly]
[both laugh]
[epic music]
[James] Thank God for that.
- [Joey] I never doubted you, mate.
- [James] I doubted myself, mate.
You just go for the,
"Oh, Scottish, Macbeth,"
Why do I always make
more of it than it has to be?
[Joey] I don't think I've ever been
so stressed out in my whole life.
[The Controller]
The next question is for £10,000.
It's six miles away.
To get there, you'll find a car
on the other side of this headland.
[James] Hold on.
[Joey] Ho ho. An old Land Rover.
[James] Oi.
[The Controller]
Go east across the mountains
to a farm in the village of Torrin.
[engine starts]
[suspenseful music]
[Joey] This track's gonna take us
up onto the main
- [James] Drag.
- [Joey]drag, hopefully, init?
Yeah. Put your foot down.
[The Controller]
The hares are running.
[suspenseful music]
[The Controller] Two nurses.
Friends.
Ex-cops.
[Keith] If you thought that was easy,
look at the next one.
It's your fault. I'm gonna kill ya.
I'm gonna kill ya.
[The Controller] A father and son.
A married couple.
A cross-section of Britain today,
if you will.
The last of the party.
The sisters.
Sana and Saiqa.
Fresh out the box.
We just graduated last year from uni.
I did three years of economics,
pure economics.
[Sana] I studied design engineering.
I am currently working
as a process engineer.
I'm a fraud analyst. I work in a bank.
[Saiqa] Those are called meanders.
The force of the water is so strong
that it erodes the riverbank.
- And it's split it up.
- Only on one side.
That's why it has a curving shape.
We learnt this in geography GCSE.
Isn't nature so cool?
[intense music]
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is massive!
[Saiqa] Jeez, it's so vast.
Oh, my God. What are we doing?
[mystical music]
[phone ringing]
[Sana] Is it ringing?
It's ringing. Where are we at?
[ringing continues]
- Hello?
- [The Controller] The first question
is for £5,000.
First question.
- [The Controller] But you have to find it.
- [Saiqa] But you have to find it.
[The Controller] Behind this
telephone box, there's a river.
There's a river.
[The Controller] Cross it,
make your way and across the glen
until you reach the mountain.
At the top there's a small loch.
[static]
- What did he say? Say it again.
- Behind the river there's a mountain.
Get to the top of the mountain.
- He said the top of the mountain?
- Mate, already?
I was saying it loudly.
[suspenseful music]
[Saiqa] We're only
one-and-a-half years apart.
But I did always look up to my sister
and I think I still do to this very day.
- We're going up the mountain.
- Come, look. Can you see that?
- What?
- The rocks we saw the going up.
Why not cut through here
Because that was the rocks
we saw going all the way up.
- It's just a wall.
- We can at least hold it and go up.
- You wanna try that way?
- Try that instead?
Let's try your way.
[exhales]
Here. Let's go.
As an older sister,
I used to guard her like gold.
I wouldn't let anyone touch her,
anyone come near her.
I love you, you love me
We're a happy family ♪
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you ♪♪
[Sana] Being around Saiqa
helps bring out
more of a confident side in me.
Oh, yeah. Come on.
[Saiqa] Be careful.
[Sana] Holy shizzle. Oh, no.
[laughs]
You're saying this way,
not that way, right?
Yeah, I'm thinking that. Yeah.
[Saiqa]
We were a very tight knit family.
Let's go back through the clue again.
[Saiqa] We spent a lot of our free time
inside the house doing board games.
You sure it's that mountain
and not the one behind us?
- Yeah, right?
- Is that all it said?
My parents, when we leave the house,
they're like, "Text us when you've left,
when you're in the car,
when the cars dropped you off."
Whilst that was all well and good,
it meant that I didn't really understand
what the real world was like.
Come on.
[Saiqa] I want to put myself
in uncomfortable situations.
[Saiqa] Right behind you. Freezing now.
This way.
[ominous music]
- Look, it's just getting taller.
- Aw!
Are we just Okay, that one.
That's where we're going.
Where the hell is this loch?
[eerie music]
- [Sana] What's that?
- [Saiqa] What?
[Sana] That.
Is that too small to be a loch?
[Saiqa] What are you pointing to?
[Sana] There's lots of water there.
Oh, my God.
This is the most water I've seen.
[Sana] Please, please be the one, man.
I cannot I've genuinely lost
all hope at this point.
There's nothing sticking out to me.
Is there anything sticking out to you?
It doesn't seem obvious.
- This looks big though.
- Yeah, this looks like a
[Sana] No.
[sighs]
"Top of the mountain, there is a loch.
There you will find your question."
There you'll find your question.
How about I be the leader?
[gasps]
[wind blowing]
Which way are we going, Sana?
That way or that way?
Uh
- That looks more like a mountain.
- They're all mountains.
[Sana] This mountain is cruel.
It's tricking us.
[Saiqa] No, the mountain is fine.
It's the man that's cruel.
The voice.
I think the voice is not on our side.
Don't take it personally.
[chuckles]
[Joey] This track's gonna take us
up onto the main drag hopefully.
I'm still getting over
that question, Jesus Christ.
Oh, mate.
That's just conked.
I've not even done anything.
- Gonna flood the engine.
- You've got your foot all the way down?
You got the handbrake?
- Nothing to do with the handbrake.
- It's going backwards.
It's not going.
[engine choking]
[James] That's a gonner, mate.
[Joey] It's ran out of diesel.
There's no diesel in the thing.
Oh, mate, leave it out. Find a car.
[engine choking]
[James] He's winding us up.
- It's not doing nothing.
- He gives us the promise of a car.
We ain't gonna get there.
We might as well just walk.
- [yells angrily]
- [laughs]
[Joey] Oh, mate.
[James] Now we've gotta walk six miles.
You think what he's done to us today,
like, promise
The mountain over the hill
ends up a full-blown seven-hour trek.
I think I've walked more in today
than I have in the last two years.
[laughs]
You keep saying
you want to get out a bit.
All right, so, Torrin.
- [Joey] We're looking for a farm.
- [James] We need a farm.
[Joey] Well, we're thinking
a working farm, no?
[James] Well
- We're going into a farm here.
- This is what I'm saying.
This is a farm. Without a doubt.
- We're in the right vicinity.
- We're definitely in the right vicinity.
[James] Where's the question?
- Oh, mate.
- Oh, mate.
These are some proper motors.
[James Bond music tones]
Reminds me of Dad's old Capri.
Look at that Roller.
That is a proper car.
[James] We've gotta find the box,
or whatever it is.
[Joey] How about underneath?
We're looking for
Oh, hello. Hello.
Hit the play button.
[The Controller] This is
a Rolls Royce Phantom III.
A triumph of British engineering.
Made when King George VI
was on the throne.
And this is
King George's most famous speech.
[voice of King George]
Over and over again.
We have tried to find a peaceful way out
of the differences between ourselves
and those who are now our enemies.
But it has been in vain.
[The Controller]
For £10,000,
King George's speech was made
on the eve of which event?
A. The First World War.
B. The Second World War.
C. The D-Day landings.
[suspenseful music]
You ever seen The King's Speech?
- With Colin Firth?
- Yeah.
So that's Queen Elizabeth's dad.
His brother, David, is the one
who abdicated with Wallis Simpson.
He had a stutter,
he struggled to speak.
He had a stutter, yeah.
- It's World War II.
- Not the First World War?
No. The First World War was,
I think, King George.
I know the speech,
not what he's talking about.
- He's been forced into war. I'm pretty
- [laughs]
We should just go
with what we think, World War II.
If it's D-Day landings,
it's D-Day Landings, but
Let's not overthink it.
We've tried to overthink it before.
- World War II.
- Let's not overthink it. B, wasn't it?
[suspenseful music]
[The Controller]
For £10,000,
you have selected answer B.
Your answer is
[music intensifies]
- Correct.
- Yeah! Get in there!
[both yelling and cheering]
Get in there, son!
[epic music]
This is a bit more like it, brother.
This is a bit more like it.
[Joey] How is the old Italian?
[James] Uh, bon-buongiorno.
Before we start trying to give it
some Del Boy Italian,
- let's ask if they speak English.
- Definitely.
If we can get some, you know,
communicating straight away,
if we need to.
[James] Parli Inglese?
- [James] Grazie.
- [Joey] Grazie.
[phone ringing]
[ringing continues]
Buongiorno.
The next question is for £25,000.
Twenty-five grand.
You'll find it on a street
called Fondamente Nove.
- We want a street, Fondamente Nove.
- Now.
[The Controller] In a villa
called Donà Dalle Rose.
In a villa. Donà Dalle Rose.
- [The Controller] On the second floor.
- On the second floor.
You have 60 minutes to reach the question.
We've got one hour to reach that question.
- Donà Dalle Rose?
- Yeah.
On this street?
Donà Dalle What's the street?
I couldn't get it. It was too quick.
- Fontava
- [Joey] Fonta
- Fontavalla Nova, was it?
- Something like that.
- What's the name of the villa?
- [Joey] Donà Dalle Rose.
Mi scusi, parli Inglese?
- A little bit.
- What's the name of the street, Joe?
Can't remember the name, Dolla Dala Nova?
But there's a villa.
We're looking for a villa,
Donà Dalle Rose?
- Donà Dalle Rose.
- [James] You know?
No.
- Where?
- Maybe I, um
I'm not sure.
With an hour,
it's gotta be relatively close,
so don't go crazy.
Look at your signs.
- [James] Fondamenta.
- [Joey] Fondamenta.
[Joey] I think the area
might be Fondamenta.
Yeah. Fondamenta. Was it Del Lovo?
No, it's Fondamenta, Del Novi
[James] Fondamenti Novi.
- De La Novi?
- De La Novi.
[Joey] That's what
it sounded like on the phone.
I can just about grasp
the English language,
so the Italian language
I've only been here 20 minutes.
Buongiorno! We are looking for
a street called Fondamente Nova.
- Cross the bridge, straight?
- That bridge.
Grazie. Have a lovely day.
[dog barking]
What did she say? Did she say that way?
Across the bridge and go right?
- You spoke to her.
- Yeah, but we're both in it together.
Straight onto the water she said.
- [James] Parli Inglese?
- Si.
We are looking for a street
called Fondamente Nove.
- You know where?
- Yeah, you just passed it. Right there.
[Joey] Oh. I mean, it's a rabbit warren.
Oh, that is cold.
Come on. I think we're close.
Hmm.
[Saiqa] My hands are, like, numb.
They're so cold.
[Sana sighs]
Where are you going? What?
There it is.
[Saiqa] Oh! Oh, my God.
[sighs]
Ha.
[laugh] Only the 76th loch
we've seen today.
Oh, my God.
What did he say specifically?
"There's a loch
and there will be your question."
Yeah, swim in. You got this.
I'm here for moral support.
Oh, no, this is so cold.
Don't think about the cold.
Oh, my shoes are getting stuck.
Do I just pull it out?
There's nothing around it.
You're kidding me.
Wait, no, there's something.
You know, there's something there,
but I don't know if that's it.
Shall I come in with you?
Where is it?
- [Saiqa] Ah! Anything?
- [Sana] No.
- Something? You got it?
- No.
Why don't you feel around on the floor?
Oh! Ah.
- You got it?
- No, but my feet are stuck.
You scope this side
and I'll scope this side.
Just, like, feel around with your feet.
Oh. Oh, yo!
Hold on.
- I got stuff on the side.
- Move your hand.
I got it.
- That feels like a rock.
- No, it's not.
[Saiqa grunts]
Oh, yes!
Oh, my God!
[inaudible]
So heavy.
- I'm stuck.
- Okay.
Let's go.
Oh, my back.
All right. This better be worth it.
I can't even feel my hands.
You ready for this?
[The Controller]
For thousands of years,
these spectacular mountains
protected the clans who lived here,
providing a natural fortress
against invasion.
In 84 AD, an invading army
tried to conquer these lands
and failed.
For £5,000,
who were they?
Oh, my God.
The Huns. The Romans. The Vikings.
Well, the Vikings were here, right?
They're part of Scotland's history.
So if they conquered it,
they didn't fail, I don't think.
Yeah, I agree.
Let's scrap the Vikings then.
I'm pretty confident that it's either
the Huns or the Romans.
The Romans, I don't think,
ever got to Scotland, did they?
Okay, where did the Romans
actually invade?
They tried to expand
too quickly or something,
and they couldn't,
and lost a lot of warriors.
It's possible they lost
some of them in Scotland.
I don't know who the Huns are though.
Me neither.
I've never heard of them.
I dunno. My gut's saying the Romans,
but that's just because
I don't know what the Huns are.
- Oh, you wanna go Romans?
- Yeah.
- Why, what do you think?
- I was going Huns.
Really? We don't know
anything about them.
- It couldn't be the Romans, right?
- It could be. Why not?
You're the history geek.
No, not for this sort of stuff.
This is so specific.
I'm so bad at history.
This is something that I trust you with.
I think you should trust your gut.
Your gut said the Romans, right?
Yeah.
We don't know anything
about the huns, do we?
- No.
- I think we go for it.
- Go the Romans?
- Yeah.
I'm just trying to think,
was there anything about the Romans
in Scotland?
- 84 AD, do you know anything about
- Wait, 84 AD as in
The Romans were before, weren't they?
- Were they after?
- I don't know.
- Was it AD?
- I wanna say it was, you think it was
I think it was BC. The Romans were all BC.
- Really?
- Must have been
because that was
before Christianity, right?
- I don't know.
- Yeah, think about it.
Why were they all believing in
the whole Roman mythology?
Christ might not have reached
I think it's the Huns.
- Really? We're switching?
- Yeah.
BC just makes more sense
for the Romans, right?
Yeah, that makes sense to me.
If you think it was BC,
then that makes sense to me.
I still don't know who the Huns are, so
- [Sana] Just do it.
- [Saiqa] The Huns.
- [Saiqa] Let's go.
- [Sana] Yeah. Okay.
[breathes nervously]
Oh, I dunno.
- Okay. Huns?
- God, I don't know.
This is so stressful.
[breathes nervously]
Yeah?
Yeah.
I'm literally gonna break down right now.
- We've made this decision together.
- Yeah.
That's okay.
- Do you wanna pull it?
- No.
Yeah, you pull it.
Pull it out.
- You're not
- We can still change our mind.
We can't now.
- Oh, no!
- Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
[Sana sighs]
It's okay. It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. It's okay.
It's good.
[sombre music]
Poor lasses.
There you go.
- Damn, that was a short run.
- Yeah.
Damn.
- That's okay.
- All right, well
Bye.
[suspenseful music]
[Joey] How we doing for time?
- [James exahles]
- [Joey] Calle Lunga de Caterina.
- Fondamente Nove.
- Sweet.
[James] Sweet as a nut.
Right, so Donà Dalle Rose. Donàtella Rose.
Here we go,
this looks a little more promising.
That's not it.
- Is it a famous villa or is it
- Here are. Donà Dalle Rose.
- Donà Dalle Rose!
- Got it!
Hey, yes!
- Get in there. Happy days.
- Right.
[James]
Better be it.
[Joey]
We gotta get up on the second floor.
[James] Buongiorno? Hello?
Let's slip round the side.
[Joey]
Back entrance.
- Well, there's a scaffold.
- That's what I'm saying.
[Joey] So
Okay.
Have a shufty over the wall.
Is there a way down?
I definitely ain't jumping it.
You all right coming up?
There's a rope here.
Give me a little bit of slack.
You can definitely tell
that you work in an office.
- You got it tight?
- Yeah.
There's a bench here.
- All right.
- Lovely.
There's an open window up here.
- Is there?
- Yeah.
[Joey] Got it?
- [James] Job done.
[Joey] Cool. I think we gotta get up
through a window
But how?
[James]
Here you are. Look.
It's cushty. Nice bit a level. Okay.
- Up. Mind your fingers.
- Yeah. Okay.
- [James] You hook it on at that there?
- Yeah. That's it.
- You foot it.
- Yeah.
Yeah, go on.
[Joey] You still footing it?
You're getting a bit shaky.
Oh, wow. Jimmy boy.
- Looking good?
- You'll love it in here, mate.
I wouldn't be so sure.
- You all right? Good man.
- Yeah.
No time to admire it,
we got eight minutes.
[James]
Ooh!
[Joey] You could go down
a rabbit hole here.
The, er The history and that
in here is unbelievable.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Gotta be something going on.
[suspenseful music]
- I'm frightened to touch anything.
- I know. Hold on.
Oh, Jesus!
Look at the size of that.
[James]
My God.
Okay, listen. I'm just gonna do this.
Just be careful. Don't hurt him.
It's resting up against him.
He's having a little move.
- Stay there.
- He's having a little snooze.
A lovely snake. All right, let's do it.
[Joey] On that table.
[James] Here we go.
[Joey] That's it.
[James]
Here it goes.
[machine beeps]
[The Controller]
In the hills of central Italy,
there is a Pagan festival.
A celebration of the snake catchers,
where they worship the snakes
like this boa constrictor.
This snake could crush
a human to death in seconds.
For £25,000,
what's the length of this snake?
[Joey]
Jesus. Oh, mate.
[The Controller] 185 centimetres.
220 centimetres.
265 centimetres.
- Well, you and me
- About 190?
- We're closer to that.
- Shall we have another look at it?
[Joey] Just looking at him,
I think he looks shorter than us.
[James] We've gotta do it properly though.
Well, you wanna get him out?
[suspenseful music]
- You gotta to do it firmly.
- His muscles are next level.
- I don't want to upset him.
- If you tickle him, he'll get wound up.
You've gotta do it all in one motion.
That's it.
I don't think you should pull him out.
[James] I'm not pulling him out.
- [Joey] Oh, he's heavy, mate. He's heavy.
- [James] Okay.
- [Joey] He's heavy.
- [James] Let him lie on the floor.
Get that tape measure quickly.
Let him wiggle out.
[Joey] He's not gonna wiggle out.
- [James] I'm trying to ease him out.
- [Joey] I'm gonna stick my glasses on.
- [James] He's struggling.
- [Joey] Keep him there.
You're strangling him.
I'm not strangling him.
He wants to strangle us.
You gotta hold it on his head.
Joe, he's a fucking snake, like.
He's pulling away. Get around quickly.
[Joey]
Got come back round to there.
- He's 185.
- You sure?
- I reckon he's 185.
- He's pulling away.
Keep it on him there.
This is not what I envisioned in Venice.
[Joey] You're not right at his snout.
You don't wanna be near his
- [James] I don't mind the snout.
- [Joey] Right near the business end.
He's laying low,
so just do it quickly.
- You've got the snout?
- I've got the snout, I've got this side.
- You've got to basically
- I'm losing his tail, see?
I'll pull his tail down here.
There's a good boy.
Could be a girl.
Try and relax him.
Try and relax him.
You've gotta let him do
what he wants to do.
- [Joey] 220 now. Do it one more time.
- [James] Bloody hell.
This is the moment
because he's doing this.
What is it?
- Now I've got 255.
- Push it in.
- Maybe it's 255 then.
- It's 185, 225, or 265.
Joe, just calm yourself down, yeah?
Now I've got 246.
I'm losing it down there.
[James]
We need to get this right.
I don't know, now I've got 230.
- That's closer to 225.
- You've come down a bit.
All right. Look.
[Joey] There you go.
Just make sure
he don't recoil on his head.
Good boy.
I don't know, I'm plumping for 225,
but as you started sliding it about,
it was getting more and more.
220, I think it is, but
[sighs]
I honestly don't know.
It's either 220 or 265.
Mate. All right. Listen, I had 252
and 256 I think I measured.
We're well over 185.
[Joey] I'm gonna go 265.
You happy with that?
- [James] I think we should go 265.
- [Joey] It's more than 200.
Listen. We've had a go. It's not easy.
There's only so many times
you can measure a snake. Cool?
C, 265.
[machine beeps]
[The Controller] For £25,000,
you selected answer C.
Your answer is
[suspenseful music]