A Couple of Cuckoos (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

You're Going to Be My Boyfriend

1
LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room
LDR • Delivery Room • Operating Room
Congratulations, Umino-san.
You have a healthy new baby.
She isn't hearing us.
We'll take her to the nursery.
Wait, was this the right bed?
It's the empty one there.
Yes, this was the moment
the fateful mistake happened.
Umino-tei Diner
Umino-tei Diner
Meeting
Umino
Morning.
Was it your turn today, Onii-chan?
Oh, I'm taking the one with the big yolk.
No.
The lecithin in egg yolk is good for memory.
Here we go again with the loner talk.
I bet that's why you can't make any friends.
Shut up.
What do you think, Sachi?
Looking snazzy, aren't I?
Move.
Also, lame.
What, are you in your rebellious phase now?
So annoying.
Onii, help me out here.
This family doesn't know how to calm down.
It's too early for this.
Nagi, where are my earrings?
The bottom right shelf.
You shoved it in there when you
were drunk yesterday, remember?
Oh, right.
Thanks.
Get ready as quick as you can.
Her parents are looking
forward to meeting you, too.
Go get 'em, Nagi.
Sure, sure.
As if they aren't eager to
meet their real kid, too.
I never thought kids getting put in the
wrong bed at birth was a real thing.
Nagi, we'll see you at the dining hall.
Don't be late.
Yeah.
Oh, right, Nagi
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
How are my earrings?
Looking snazzy!
Onii-chan, are you joining their family?
Of course not.
I grew up here for sixteen years.
Do you really think I could
accept new parents now?
Don't care.
Then don't ask!
You're going now?
I'm leaving early to study at the library.
Studying more? Today?
I have to beat my rival.
That again.
I can't believe you're actually
someone else's kid, though.
That explains so much.
You're nothing like the rest of us.
Plus you're book smart, and a loner.
All those jokes about them finding
me at the river weren't that far off.
I can't
I don't want you to go away.
You're so silly, Sachi.
I'm not going away.
I'm going to tell them straight up
that I have no intention
of becoming their child.
They said they would honor my wishes.
Gotta get this over with quick
and get back to studying.
W-Wait, what?
No! You need to think it through!
No, I'm not
Stop!
Ow
Seriously, what's wrong with you?
Get off me!
That's my li— Boobs!
Ow!
You were just pretending to kill yourself?
Yeah.
I was going to make a video
and upload it to Inusta.
Inusta
Inusta
But you had to go and get in my way.
You're going to start some drama.
That's the whole point.
New Post
Man, this video's useless.
Ow!
Ow!
That was all to get more followers?
I have plenty of followers.
Well, good for you.
What, is this girl famous or something?
I feel like I've seen her before.
It's for my mom.
I want to start some drama
so I can convince her that
I'm not going to get married.
M-M-M-Married?!
You didn't know?
You can get married at sixteen.
Yeah, I know.
That's not what I meant.
Wow, people my age are already
getting married, huh?
Wait a second
You're in the same kind
of situation I am, then?
I see.
You're a mix-up baby,
and I have an arranged engagement.
We both have family issues, I guess.
Seems so.
By the way, are you my age, then?
I'm Amano Erika.
I'm a second-year at Orpheus Girls' Academy.
Ah, OGA, huh?
That's that fancy princess school.
This girl
Amano Erika's so cute.
Think I could meet her
if I went to Orpheus?
This dumb crap is all they
talk about during breaks.
You? I doubt it.
She can't be this cute.
I bet she's using filters.
Hey.
Are you listening?
I-It wasn't a filter.
What about you?
Umino Nagi.
Second-year, too.
I go to Megurogawa Academy.
Megurogawa!
Hang on, isn't Megurogawa
a super-elite prep school?
You must be really smart, Nagi-kun!
I guess.
Nagi-kun
Nagi-kun?!
That's it! I can use that!
Huh?
Guess what? You're going to be my boyfriend.
Huh?!
Aren't you honored?
A-Are you crazy? Why would I be?
Who would go out with a bratty
minefield of a woman like you?
You're so silly. I meant pretend.
Pretend?
Who has arranged marriages
these days, anyway?
Why would I ever marry a guy when I don't
know what he looks like or anything?
Dunno.
I don't know anything about
the rich people's world.
So here's the plan!
She's not even listening.
"I have a boyfriend that
I'm deeply in love with."
"He's really smart and
he has a bright future."
High Intelligence
Bright Future
"He cares for me a ton."
Madly in Love
"Oh, Erika, you could have told us sooner."
And that's how the marriage was called off.
And she lived happily ever after.
I see. You have quite the imagination.
Right?
But alas, in reality, it fails.
For I have no intention of cooperating.
Huh?
What do you mean, "Huh"?
I told you.
I'm about to go see my real parents.
I don't have time for your games.
My "games"?!
My future is on the line here!
So is mine.
If you don't want to get married, then don't.
I'm asking you because
I don't have that option!
Shoot, what time is it?
Stop!
Yup, you're definitely squeezing here.
Definitely squeezing.
I can see that! You don't need to zoom in!
I don't think you can explain this away.
So what, then?
I'll just attach this clip of the video
to Megurogawa Academy's contact form.
Don't!
The school's going to contact my parents!
They'll be concerned about
my emotional well-being
and involve my real parents,
who are going to feel responsible
and force me into their care!
You're so desperate.
Obviously!
Cooperate with me, then.
Fine, as long as I can get
to where I'm going on time.
Okay!
So, what do I have to do to
pretend to be your boyfriend?
Isn't it obvious?
How would it be obvious?
I've spent my entire life studying.
I've never dated or anything.
Ew, that's hilarious.
Shut up!
You're on Google right now, too!
Found it.
It says you do it.
Do it Do it? Do it?!
Let me see that!
Stop it!
Come on, seriously, stop it.
Why don't you just use that?
Can't you just show them that picture?
Oh, I get it.
It would prove that I have a boyfriend.
It must be nice being smart, huh?
You don't even need the Internet.
More like you're not even thinking.
This picture makes it look like there was an
incident, though, so let's take another one.
And above all, I'm not cute in it.
All about you, huh?
Come closer.
Er, right.
Is this girl really a rich
person's daughter, though?
A little closer.
She smells so nice!
You just look like an idiot.
I'll send that video to your school.
I apologize.
And why does it look like I picked up
a random person off the street
to take a picture with?
Because I'm a random person off the street.
Oh, whatever.
Come with me.
H-Hey!
Where are we going?
To find clothes for you.
Huh?!
Quit griping and come with me!
This is perfect.
We totally look like a couple.
What's up with this?
I just remembered a girl in my class who
went for matching outfits with her boyfriend.
We look really close, don't we?
Not really. It just looks like we happened
to be wearing the same clothes.
Or like I've just been in an accident.
At least you don't look like
a random stranger, right?
Hello!
I'd like to buy all of this.
Total
That'll be 495,000 yen.
Four hun—
No, no, no, no, no!
I only have 1,000 yen!
I'll buy it in one payment on my card.
All of that?!
Keep the outfit. Think of
it as an official uniform.
Th-The stuff about her
being a princess was true.
What kind of home does she come from?
Here we go.
Look happy, like you're
having a lit-ass time.
L-Lit?
Lit!
You're messing around, aren't you?
I'm dead serious here.
You have to act stronger if
you're going to be my boyfriend.
Stronger?
That's better than the last one.
We aren't going to get anything better.
I'm going to go borrow the changing room.
She's only showing her parents.
Do I really need to look strong?
Rich
Displays
of
strength
Displays of strength
Princess
Princess
Power
Power
Contracts
Contracts
Force
Force
In
all
black
In all black
Could it be that she's
Hang on Is your family a yak—
Hotel moguls.
Ah, so you're legit.
So why did you want us to dress up like that?
I figured my parents wouldn't
butt in if you looked strong.
She's actually just an idiot.
It's no use, though.
They all look so awkward.
What? After all that?
A good photo
I think a good photo is one that gives
you a sense of the air of the moment.
The air?
Yeah.
The climate, the scents
Not just that,
but also the air, as in the feelings of
the people in the photos and taking them.
That's why I try not to
edit my photos too much.
Huh
So I think I'll use this photo.
But that's the first one we took.
It's the one that makes us
look the closest, though.
And it's kind of funny, right?
I guess if you're happy with it.
Yup.
I thought Amano-san and I lived
in totally different worlds.
"Actually, I have a boyfriend."
Maybe she's actually pretty normal.
Upload the picture, and
Sent.
Dad
You're so funny lol
It's almost your curfew.
You'd better come home!
No!
How did he know?!
I guess there's no point in trying
to deceive your parents.
All right, then
We're going to have to do it.
Your ideas are so extreme!
What else am I supposed to do, then?
There's got to be something, right? Like
Hey, what's this about?!
I thought you didn't have
a boyfriend, Erika-tan!
No way Why are those guys here?
Friends of yours?
As if.
These guys are from the
high school next to mine.
I got doxxed a little while ago,
and now I'm dealing with stalkers.
Oh. I guess that's what
it's like being famous, huh?
Stop it.
You're a princess at a chaste
all-girls school, aren't you?
That's why we followed you, you know!
Don't worry.
She's perfectly chaste.
Seriously, don't!
Erika-tan, who is this guy?
Huh? Me?
Just ignore them.
I'm Amano-san's contractual boyfriend.
B-Boyfriend?!
Why would you tell them the truth like that?
This is the problem with
stuck-up studying addicts.
You can't engage with these kinds of people.
What was that?
Contractual?!
Who do you think you are, asshole?!
Wait, are they picking
a fight with me right now?
You just noticed?!
Get away from Erika-tan!
Come on, let's run!
Wow, he's tough.
What's wrong with this kid?!
Never come near Amano-san again.
W-We're sorry!
Those types of people need
to learn the painful way.
Th-That's an option?
Umino Family wisdom:
"If anyone picks a fight with you, win."
A
i
R
a
b
u
Y
u
I
n
v
i
n
c
i
b
l
e
My parents were both delinquents.
That's how I was raised.
Never mind that!
I just realized I have to punch him!
My fiancé!
I'm going to ruin the mood!
They'll stop talking about me marrying
him if I completely wreck the mood.
I guess that's better than trying
to get yourself canceled.
Wow.
I'm still excited.
I've never seen a fight in person.
I promise I'll give him a good
wallop like you did, Nagi-kun.
Yeah.
If that's what you're gonna do,
you might as well go whole hog.
Yeah!
Miss, it's time for you to come home.
Gah! They were tracking my GPS location!
Well, thanks for today.
I'll delete that video.
Please do.
Um
I guess since I'll probably never
see you again, I'll tell you
I don't have any friends,
because of how I am.
But it kinda felt like we were
on a date today. It was fun.
Too bad you're not the one
I'm supposed to marry, Nagi-kun.
Just kidding.
Goodbye.
I'd have to politely decline.
Crap! I'm late!
I'm sorry I'm late!
Ah, there you are.
Nice to meet you.
You must be Nagi-kun.
It's nice to meet you.
Where have you been?!
We were worried.
We thought you weren't
going to show up for us.
Thank goodness.
These are my real parents?
So anyway, Nagi, there's something
I've been keeping from you.
That's right.
The four of us parents talked it through.
Yeah?
The truth is,
we all care about our biological children,
as well as the children we raised.
It's been sixteen years, after all.
I'd imagine.
So then, we realized
If the two of you got married,
you'd both be our kids.
Wait, what are you saying?
I was so surprised when I saw
the photo my daughter sent me.
To think you two were
already in a relationship!
It sure does speed things along.
Huh?
Miracles really do happen!
She's back.
Allow me to introduce you.
To my daughter, Erika, with whom
you were mixed up at birth.
Wh-Why?!
That's my question.
I'm looking forward to your marriage.
M-Marriage?!
I can't accept that!
Neither can I.
But I have to keep my word.
Wait.
There's been a change in circumstances!
Ready? And
Ow!
That day, I became engaged.
And
I'm in Class A.
Segawa Hiro
Where is
Pardon me!
Coming through!
I'm sorry.
Are you all right?
Sure.
Thank goodness.
Sorry, I'm in a hurry.
I would have just let it slide before.
But now that I have a fiancée,
I need to hurry.
Segawa Hiro!
I'm taking you down in the next exam!
Um
Who were you again?
Umino Nagi!
The guy who's ranked second in our class!
I decided a long time ago
What kind of person do I like?
Someone smarter than me.
That once I reached number one,
I would confess to her.
Actually,
though
we
aren't
sib-
lings.
And so, fate was set in motion.
Oh, yeah
I guess Onii-chan wasn't really my brother.
Nagi-kun's my fiancé
This is an epic tale of love.
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