Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
- Help! Help, Fionna! help!
- Help, Fionna!
Hold on, citizens!
Fionna and Cake
to the rat-scue!
- Help this man up!
- Help us, Fionna!
No!
I'll get them!
You have a bus to catch!
- Huh?
- Aw, chute!
Wahahaha.
Fionna, stab!
Careful, careful!
Tit for tat, rat!
Hyah!
Fionna!
Ice Prince.
The ice won't hold him
for long.
You've got this, Fionna.
Hans Brinker action-go!
Puck him up, girl!
Wa-woah!
Waugh-hmph.
Cat trick!
Whoo!
Good job, Cake.
Back atcha, sis!
Good job, both of you!
Fionna, Cake,
you are great fighters.
And so funny
and interesting.
Will you join me
on my magical adventures?
Oh, ice Prince.
Sure thing, bro.
Tell me.
Who are you, really?
Huh?
Oh, gob no!
Ughahh.
Snooze, 10 minutes.
I'm not really feeling
like myself today ♪
Hated every job I've had ♪
What's wrong with me ♪
Everyday's the same ♪
Painfully mundane ♪
'Cause I'm running
from my feelings ♪
And my fear of sudden
change ♪
Every time I leave my room
I wanna die ♪
Even when I'm
with my friends ♪
I'm alone inside ♪
'Cause nothing
really matters ♪
And I don't know
what's sadder ♪
The fact I even try ♪
Or that my hopes and dreams
are shattered ♪
I'm not really feeling
like myself today ♪
Ay ay ay ay ♪
Hmbrg Uh!
Hmm Ugh.
"Cheers" is filmed before
a live studio audience.
Evenin' everybody!
Nooorm!
Sammy!
Set me up.
"Cheers" is filmed
before a live--
"Cheers" is filmed before--
"Cheers is-- "Cheers" is--
"Cheers" is filmed
before a live studio audience.
I don't wanna go to woooork.
Wake up sleepy head,
it's my turn to use the pants.
Bad dream?
I had a great dream.
It's the third night in a row
I've dreamed about
a mysterious ice Prince.
And you were there, too.
And you could talk.
And stretch!
I know,
it sounds nuts!
But also..awesome.
Buddy,
your ears are freezing.
Oh.
Your nose, too!
Is that normal?
Maybe I have a fever?
I'unno.
Hm, I hope
it's nothing serious.
That's the last thing
we need right now.
Wa wa wa wa Cake wa!
Wa, wa, wa!
Wa wa wa wa food!
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa.
Uhh
C'mon, weirdo.
Weren't you hungry?
You haven't really eaten
in like
three days.
How about tuna sandwich?
It's your favorite.
My uniform!
Stop acting crazy!
Ah!
That's it,
I'm calling the vet.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, see you then.
Bye.
Good news, Cake!
We're going to the vet today
But they only had
a lunch time opening.
So, guess you're coming
to work with me, pal.
Please try
to act professional.
Bleh.
Welcome to Queenie Bus Tours,
"Where bus dreams come true."
My name is Fionna Campbell,
and I will be your guide today.
Do we have any folks
visiting from out of town?
I'm from here.
I'm from around
the corner!
I'm also from here.
I live in the graveyard, uh,
next to the graveyard.
Why do I even ask?
Over on our left we have out
oldest building,
the city post office.
In 1911 there was a fire,
but they stamped--
Stamped it out!
Heh, yes.
Marshall Lee, everybody!
World's best unknown musician!
Catch him on the corner of 14th
and Elm in half an hour.
Blah.
Oh! Uh-- uh and-- and,
on our right, the city park.
Behold the largest outdoor
fountain in a five block radius.
Yay.
It underwent a renovation
12 years ago.
Who's the statue of?
Dunno, dude.
We're now passing
by the city aquarium.
Anybody not know
what an aquarium is?
- Uh--
- Great.
Now we got that covered.
You know what they say
about the cafeteria.
Please do not
"axolotl" questions
when ordering
the aquarium sushi.
Hey, anybody here into
dream analysis?
Because I've been having
this dream
about a cool Ice Prince
and giant penguins and stuff.
It feels like the universe
is trying to tell me something.
Why would I dream
about an ice guy?
I had a dream once about
some ice cream
It could mean, you know,
like that one time
Uh, obviously you're dreaming
about a cool Ice Prince now,
because you just got dumped
by a hot DJ Flame.
That's it.
I'm right.
Bro, you got dumped
by DJ Flame?
W-Whatever that's not
what it means, okay?
My dream is way
more significant.
I dream a lot about
being a hotdog.
I dream
about being a banana!
Mine's too messed up
to even talk about.
Hey, focus.
We all have weird food dreams, okay?
But my dream is special.
It means something.
I can feel it.
You're bombing, Fi!
See?
Cake agrees with me.
Woah, hey buddy.
- Ah!
- Ugh!
Cake. No, Cake.
Cake!
Merciful heavens!
- Keep runnin', Cake!
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
My allergies!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
That's enough!
Aha!
W-Wuh? Queenie?
W-Why are you here?
It's called a spot-check,
ya ding dong.
I've gotten several complaints
about your tours.
So I went undercover
like a true boss.
And I see not only were
the complaints true,
but you also bring
a crazed animal on board?
I had to bring her.
She's sick or something.
Oh, a rabid crazed animal.
It's not her fault.
Cake's a good kitty!
Whuh. Uh, rabies!
Stop the bus!
Smooth driving, Van Damn.
Whatever, Marshall.
You never pay anyway.
Hah, true, true.
What?
It'll all
come back around.
Don't worry.
He didn't pay?!
Uhh, what's the big deal?
These buses are always
half empty.
It's not hurting anybody.
It's hurting my big
fat wallet!
Psh.
Whatever.
Rrgh!
Turn in your uniform.
You're fired!
What?!
Mmm Fine!
I never even wanted this stupid
job in the first place.
And no one even cares
about your dumb tours!
Jesus, stop!
Just bring it back later
if you want
your deposit back.
I do really need
that deposit back.
Ugh, Cake, this is like
my fifth job this year.
Maybe I could be like,
a game designer?
I've got a lot of good ideas, right?
Ugh, it doesn't matter.
All the jobs suck
in this stupid city.
Hey, hey, check out
my new mixtape.
And there's nowhere to go
Tea samples! Tea samples!
nothing exciting
ever happens.
And the people are all boring.
Ugh. Quit wiggling around,
you nugget.
Okay, get this.
You know Jerry from HR?
Oh yeah, Jerry.
Well, he told me he ate
the contract papers
in front of the client!
Excuse me.
I need to get through.
That's Jerry for ya.
Excuse me!
Move!
Whoa!
Hey, that was an
impressive display
of some real
aggressive jerkiness.
Yeah. You should join
our roller derby team.
We need bodies.
Ugh! She hurt our
feelings real good.
Hmm, one latte coming up.
300 ml of milk.
And froth to 55 degrees.
High and slow.
Low and steady.
Beautiful.
Order for C.B!
Six butterscotch lattes
and three dozen
cream puffs!
Ohh, thank you.
Gary, I know it was quiet
a tall order
but my grandkids just love
these little coffee drinks.
Just kidding!
They're all for me!
One coffee to go
Please.
Good morning.
And hello to you too, Cake.
Aw, what's wrong
with her?
And what's wrong with you?
I'm fine.
Just got fired,
my cat's acting weird
so I gotta take her
to the vet now.
Which I can't afford because,
oh yeah, I just got fired.
That's a bummer.
But maybe this
will cheer you up.
My latest prototype.
Now, it's still in development,
so give me your honest feedback.
Oh, oh!
Just needs the final touch.
A raspberry
buttercream scarf.
Mmm good.
Fionna, it wasn't done.
Gary, how long have
we known each other?
Hmm, I don't know.
I guess like, forever.
Then you should know by now
I have zero impulse control
when it comes
to sugary food.
I'm gonna make you more,
but this time, really savor
and analyze it.
Dude, I said I liked it.
I know, but I need detailed feedback.
Wa wa wa wa
wa wa wa wa wa.
Wa wa wa wa.
Rrrr.
Wa wa, mouse!
Wot's this?
No roughhousing
in my bakery!
There shouldn't be mice
in the bakery either.
Phah, bakeries
have mice in them.
It's always
been this way.
Since ye olden days.
It's tradition.
Ugh, another one of your
frilly abominations, eh?
Ahhh, wait,
don't taste it yet!
The recipe's
still in development!
Oh?
Huh!
Let's see how it compares
to the classic choux pastry.
Agh, my heart.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Not even fit
for a wee mousy.
Hey!
What's your problem, BB?
Gary worked hard
on these biscuits.
Lass, this is
Butler's Buttery Buns.
And I say stick
to what's traditional.
Maybe raspberry
was the wrong choice.
Gary,
you should just quit!
Mmm
I do it all the time.
No, no, no, no, no, I just need
to perfect the recipe first.
It's part of a 64-step plan
to open my own bakery.
Gotta stick to the plan.
Pshh, plans.
I never make plans.
Right, Cake?
Don't you have a vet
appointment right now?
Ah!
Shoot! Shoot!
Here, take more biscuit people
for the road.
Thanks Gary!
Really chew on it!
I want notes!
Tumbleweeds and rattlesnakes ♪
Fighting off sidewinders ♪
Rode to town with my guns
blazing ♪
Everyone knew I was amazing ♪
Wah, whoa!
Woah, you okay?
Dammit, my uniform!
Hey, so what.
That's your prison uniform.
No way I get
that deposit back now.
Wait,
did you quit your job?
That's a power move.
Mh! Whoa.
These are, like, really good.
Where are these from?
I didn't quit.
I got fired.
Wah, wah.
Oh! Marshall, could you
let your mom know
my rent is gonna
be late this month?
Uhhh, me and her
aren't really
talking right now.
What?!
But I can barely
afford the vet!
Nope!
Not gonna do it.
Marshaaaall.
But you know what though?
Vets are like a total scam.
My buddy Ellis can fix her up
and he'd only charge you like
a couple of theeese.
Sounds kinda shady.
Nooo. He's-- he's--
he's super legit.
Okay.
What's his address?
Ow! Ugh.
Rrrr
Ugh!
So nasty.
Sorry, Cake.
I wouldn't blunder through
brambles for anyone but you.
Argh!
Ugh.
If I die out here,
no one's ever gonna find
my corpse.
Aaaghh!
Sorry, traveler.
I mean no harm.
I'm just planting some weeds
back here.
Don't you mean
pulling weeds.
If you'll step
into the bushes with me
I'll show you
something amazing.
Yeah, okay.
Keep going.
Wow.
You planted all this?
Yes.
Out there my job is to destroy
all the wildflowers and weeds.
Did you know that any plant
can be considered a weed?
What?
That doesn't sound right.
Raspberries, roses, elms,
all weeds
in the wrong context.
In here these guys
are chill and harmonious.
My beautiful misfits.
Behold.
A dandelion?
Taraxacum officinale.
Most people hate them,
but they can grant wishes.
Just close your eyes
and blow.
Yep.
That's about sums it up.
Aw.
So, Ellis
can you help my cat
or what?
Uh, no, my name is Hunter.
Goddammit.
You looking for Ellis?
One for Bruno.
One for Brock.
One for Butch.
One for Stanly.
Wait, Stanly gets two.
Because he gets me.
I love you, bro.
That's Ellis P.
Another
"beautiful misfit"?
Aren't we all?
You guys are so lucky
to roll with me.
Excuse me.
Ah! Stranger!
Get her, boys!
Eat her face!
Et tu, Stanly?!
Um, Marshall said
you could help my cat, Cake?
Oh, yeah. I'm deeply connected
to all animals
and speak their language.
But what's in it for me?
Omigosh, bagfood!
Payment accepted.
Step into my office and place
cat on the exam table.
You mean the little car?
Yes, I mean the little car!
C'mon, Cake.
It's okay.
'Aight, what's wrong with
this little kitty cat?
Cake's just been acting
really weird lately.
And I can't
figure out why.
Hmm
Oh, you're a sad one,
aren't you?
Okay, try not to freak out when
you see my powers in action.
Wom wom wom wom wom
wom wom wom wom.
Open up the channels
of communication.
What's that?
Catnip?
Yes, it's catnip!
So, what kinda symptoms
are we talkin' about?
Well, she's been
really restless,
and having bad dream--
I can sense that
she's veeeerry restless
and having bad dreeeeams.
I'm so intuitive.
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa
wa wa wa wa wa wa wa.
Cake says, hmm,
that you know what's wrong.
She wants you
to tell meee!
I don't know what's wrong
with her!
That's why I'm here!
Open your mind!
Uh
maybe she's sick?
Maybe she's not getting
enough sleep?
Maybe she feels trapped
in my crummy little apartment?
Well, yeah! Nobody feels good
when they're trapped!
She's gotta get out,
prowl the streets.
Where's she gonna go?
She's a cat in a sad
little city!
Lotsa places, Midtown,
Upper Midtown,
Central Midtown.
Downtown?
I'm not familiar. Ugh.
Maybe it doesn't
matter where.
What if she's just bored
with everything
and wishes the world
was more magical?
It should be more magical.
In my dreams
I'm a beautiful prince.
Cake!
Come back!
You're welcome!
Cake!
Come back!
Sit!
I command you to sit!
Cake, please!