Alice (2009) s01e01 Episode Script
Part 1
Yame! Thank you all.
That's it for tonight.
See you on Tuesday.
Mr.
Chase? I believe we have a private lesson.
How many classes have you taken so far, Mr.
Chase? 10 in 6 weeks but I could always do with more.
You know that I'm only part-time.
You'll have to see another instructor.
Who do you recommend? Hajime.
Tim Roberts is a very good instructor.
I heard that he has a mean streak.
What about Jenny Moyers? She's no good for you.
Why not? too Pretty? Alice, that really hurt! Sorry, honey.
Where? Everywhere.
Should I kiss it better? Better? The pain is below.
No, do not get up! I need medical attention.
Come on.
So, tonight 7:00.
My mother is so looking foward to it.
Good for your mum.
I am too.
What have you told her about me? Just that your leg kicks need work.
true.
Can you spare any change, mam? No, but I've got these.
No.
.
.
No.
Absolutely no.
Where are these from? Kokatahi.
Where is that? Hawaii? New Zealand.
oh nice.
If Daddy is in New Zealand maybe I'll go looking for him myself.
Well, not in Kokatahi.
Will I bring out the fine china? Well, I thought you were excited to meet him.
I am! I only hope it's not the kiss of death Again.
What are you talking about? Alice, you know it's true.
You no sooner bring a guy home, and then you come up with a million reasons why he should never come back.
Well this one's different.
Good evening.
Ah! the roses, please? Thank you.
Hey you.
We were just talking about you.
Do you need more time? No, I think we covered everything.
come in.
For me? For both of you.
How lovely.
This is my mum, Carol and Jack.
Jack.
How wonderful to meet you at last.
The same here.
Let me put these in water.
Hang on.
This one is for you.
Dinner will be in 20 minutes, so you two entertain yourselves.
Thank you.
and then we'll redoo the floors sometime this fall.
Well, you have a beautiful home.
Thank you.
It feels like we've been here forever, because we have.
It's been the two of us for what? I guess almost 10 years now? 10 years on March 23.
Alice is meticulous with dates.
Yeah Well, that one.
that's when ? Her father disappeared on us.
Yes, of course.
Listen, my film is about to start, and I think the two of you can handle being without me for a little while, so I am going to say goodnight.
Thank you for dinner.
It was a treat.
Your very welcome.
Alright, sweetheart You can leave everything on the table.
- Good night, Mom - Good night.
I didn't mean to do the family baggage thing.
No, it's fine.
I I want know all about you.
What's up? how would you like to meet my family? Are they coming to town? No.
We'd have to go there.
Oh! ah OK When? What about tonight? Are you crazy? It will be an adventure.
Some things are more exciting on the spur of the moment don't you think? No.
.
.
Not when it involves meeting your parents.
Jack, I would have to get myself togetherand.
.
.
Alice, you're perfect as you are, and we could be back by Monday morning.
I know nothing about them Um What if they don't approve of me? They'll they'll approve of you when they see you with this.
It's got a hidden catch.
It looks really old.
It's been in my family a very long time.
Are you giving me this? Would you like to try it on? Jack, a ring means something.
This is too fast.
No, it's way too fast.
OK.
I'm Sorry, I got the wrong idea.
Maybe after you've seen my home met my friends No, I can't come with you, Jack.
Not tonight.
Maybe we should just take it easy for a while See what we feel in a few days, and.
.
.
Alice, I Just Give me some time.
Goodbye, Jack.
Was it a diamond ring? No.
.
.
But it was incredibly valuable.
So After weighing all the possible cons with all the unlikely pros you just kicked him out? I don't need the lecture.
Alice Honey, listen.
Just because dad left.
It does'nt mean they all will.
Well The ring.
He slipped in my pocket.
theres no way.
Jack! Jack! I'm afraid he's gone.
Who are you? A friend of Jack's.
I'm here to help him.
So why didn't you? Who are those guys? Jack took something that didn't belong to him.
We need it back.
What are you talking about? the ring, Alice.
How do you know my name? Where have you taken Jack? He's quite safe.
Then bring him back and let him tell me himself.
I'm afraid he's got to go back with me to face charges.
So you do have it.
No! Where did you take Jack? Wait! Hey, stop! Hello? Hey! Wait! What is this place? Hey! Wait! Come on! Curiosity killed the cat.
Oh my God! Spare some change, mam? No, but I've got these.
What happened? Hey! Stop! Stop! Good.
We have a.
Take them away.
Let me out of this thing! Temper, temper.
What the hell is this place? Mm, you should not have come after me , small oyster.
Hey! Come back here! Must dash.
running late.
Don't even think about it buddy.
You're an oyster! Just put the knife away.
I don't want nothin' to do with you, Do you hear? I'm a working man.
I don't want no trouble.
Suits see us together we both be dead, Wait! I need directions, sir! Go away.
can't help any oyster.
I'll pay you! Look, I have some money.
What is that? 20 bucks.
Bucks? I'm looking for a man who was kidnapped and brought here.
If you help me find him it's yours.
An oyster like you? Yeah.
I'm Alice.
The Alice? the Alice of legend? Ah you're kind of freaking me out umm, the guy that I'm looking for, he's probably locked inside that flying beetle thing.
Do you know where it's headed? You come with me.
Quick, quick! Oh, thanks But, no,no, I'm good.
Oh, if they if they see that you oyster, you dead.
They? Who's they? First I go.
Count 10, then follow, okay? What's in there? A man who knows! Knows that? Wait! Lust emotion passion I have an important announcement! A new tea has just come on the market.
Ever get that guilty feeling? Maybe abandoned the wife and kids.
And left them without a crumb to split between them? Or maybe you killed someone? A relative Or a neighbor And it's left that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach It's growing little by little Into a dull throbbing pain Gnawing away at you Undermining your confidence And making you feel sick and worthless.
and fearful? Well, fear no longer! Because Clear Conscience Has finally arrived.
Ah, The latest wonder of wonderfullness from this wonder of all wonders.
The hearts casino! Wait here.
Would you like a cup of tea? No thank you.
Who are you? A friend I hope.
I run the tea shop.
See? How did you break out of the scarab? The beetle thing? I used my hair pin and.
.
.
fell.
As you can see, I'm drenched.
Is this place ?Where ? What is it? Oh Wonderland.
That's a story in a kids book.
Does this look like a kid's story to you? No.
It's changed a lot since then.
So you are saying that it was real? You Oysters, don't know how to find us, So, excuse me So you tell yourself that we don't exist, and, quite frankly, I would like to keep it that way.
Why am I an oyter.
This? That's not going to come off.
Sorry.
Only the people from your world turn green when burned by the light.
It 's the Suits way of branding their catch, and they call you Oysters because of the shiny little pearls that you all carry inside.
What do you mean Pearls? She's Alice! Tell him who you are.
Wow, really? Ratty here thinks you're alice Of legend.
Who? The last umm The last time a girl called Alice came here from your world, she brought down the whole house of cards.
Oh, yes.
Made quite an impression Although it was 150 years ago.
It can't be the same girl! Oysters don't even live that long.
I still want a good price.
Wait a minute.
I am not for sale.
Not on the grass! Well.
Here we are.
Pink Nectar Filled with the thrill of human excitation.
50 oysters were drained of every last drop of hullabaloo so tht you, Ratty, can taste what it feels like win just once.
A warning Don't take it on an empty stomach, and only one tiny little drop at a time, otherwise, the experience might burst your shriveled up little heart.
got it? - got it.
- Just go.
He really smells.
Oysters were drained? What do you mean drained? Ratty tells me you're looking for someone.
His name is Jack Chase.
He was taken by a man with a white rabbit on his lapel.
I see.
the White Rabbit.
is an organization controlled by the suits.
They travel back and forth through the looking glass and vanish people from your world to ours.
Why? To use in the Casino.
Use? Did I say use? Slip of the tongue.
They're fine.
You know, they keep them alive, and.
.
.
moderately happy.
How do I get to this casino? That's the thing You don't.
way too dangerous.
But I know some people who know some other people If you know what I mean.
It's one of the privileges of running a tea shop.
Lighten up.
You you should wear this.
It'll cover the glow and stop you from catching a cold.
I have a little money, but I understand that you don't use that here.
Pieces of paper.
Pointless.
Then why would you help me? Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? I see.
You don't trust me.
fine! I am genuinely hurt.
Do you know why they call me Hatter? Cause you wear a hat? No.
Because I'm always there when they pass the hat.
So to speak.
Philanthropy Generosity I mean, you you can call it what you will.
It's who I am, and right now, looking at you, there is nothing I want more than to help you find Jack Jack And return you both to your charming world of children stories.
I don't believe you.
I know what you're thinking.
If I am the frying pan, then that, out there is the fire.
I'll be square with you.
I know people who like to help your kind, And if, every once in a while, I scratch their back They'll scratch yours.
Precisely! Lot of scratching.
Try to keep up.
You're late.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Black Jack Black Jack Everyone will win.
The time has come, Walrus, old friend to test our many stills.
The Ohhhs, the Ahhhs the giving drops passions, thrills, and see how joy, and awe and lust can all be turned to pills.
Ahh! What is it? Eh, the king requests your presence, Carpenter.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I've got a thing about heights.
Why couldn't they have build the city on the ground? Look at me.
Try not to look down.
OK? The Scarab just brought in the last shipment of oysters.
How many? Make the most of them.
We won't be getting any more till we find that ring and restart the looking glass.
There was just enough juice left in it for the last sortie, and the Queen would like for you to harvest more unusual emotions It is difficult enough getting the simple ones.
You know it takes a thousand thrills to make just the tiniest drop.
People want to experience more exotic wonders Surprise adoration Ecstasy Calm Elation! Their, keeping the masses happy is a very great responsibility, Carpenter, and one that weighs heavy on my shoulders.
If our people don't feel what they want to feel when they want to feel it, well, the whole system breaks down! The instant gratification is a very complex business.
That's why we have to keep moving forward, forever discovering more exotic wonders.
Ah! There you are! Oh, joy.
Oh bright day! Finally, and at last! How do you open this thing? I don't know, Majesty.
Well, there's ahidden catch somewhere But I can never remember! Right.
Summon the Queen.
23 17! 54 and.
.
.
10! Everyone's a winner! This is such a rush! That one talked! Oh my God! What's the time? I got to pick up my kids! we have a conscience one here.
I'd better see if I can find the car.
I can't move my What's going on? Maam? Oh! Hello! My feet seem to be stuck.
There's nothing wrong with your feet, maam.
Tell you what.
Why don't you come with us? And we'll help you find what you're looking for.
My kids.
I think I have kids, a family.
I 'm pretty sure that my husband's a Taurus.
Do you know my name? I can't remember my name, for some reason! Listen you don't need to bother for little things like that, maam.
What's wrong? She's regaining her faculties.
Do you know my name? It's something beginning with B I think Take her to the waiting room.
Come with us.
Did you talk? You shouldn't have talked.
I was worried about my kids.
We all have family somewhere.
I gotta find my car.
You can't leave.
None of us can.
I'm returning a library book.
It is a work of Edwin and Morcar.
How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail? He poured water of the Nile on every golden scale.
Come on, quick.
Hello, ducks.
It's all right.
Wait Why don't we just put these things away? Come on, you know me well enough.
We have our orders.
Keep that right hand where we can see it! It's just flesh and blood.
Right.
We all seen what you can do with that sledge hammer.
Did you like the box of confits I brought you guys last week? The cured meat and the cheese? They're all gone.
Well, if you don't treat me with a little respect, You won't get another crumb.
Sorry, Hatter.
Everyone's a little jumpy.
Everyone's always a little jumpy.
Where are we? The Great Library.
5,000 years of history hidden here Art Literature Law.
Rescued when the Queen of Hearts seized power.
She'd like nothing more than to see this burnt to nothing.
Who are those poor people? Refugees.
Those who don't want to be a part of the Queen's world of instant gratifacation.
We give them shelter and try to feed them the best we can, but it is dangerous.
If the Queen found out, they wouldn't stand a chance.
Why would she want to destroy all this? Wisdom is the greatest threat.
She controls people with a quick fix.
How are all my lovely suits today? We are very very happy maam.
How nice.
You're all so clever and pretty.
We found the Stone of Wonderland.
Where is it? We'll have the looking glass up and running in no time, and this time, we can bring 50 or 100 oysters a day.
With a charming practical joke.
My dear? Why am I not surprised? The girl! The ring, Alice.
Girl? Agent White took the box from a girl an oyster.
She must have the ring.
Yes.
Where is she now? She escaped.
What exactly do you mean escaped? Some of honnycomb containers are gettin a little old.
We have renovations planned in next years budget, but An oyster is running arround wonderland.
With my ring? We'll find her! Oh we'll find her alright.
But you, Agent White, will take no furthur part.
His head, Mam? Yes, of course.
What else? His foot? I'll put all suits on standby.
No! It'll only alert the resistance.
The last thing we want is to feed that riffraff a grain of encouragement.
No, we need someone who can work quietly behind the scenes Someone coldblooded ruthless criminally insane.
Is the Mad March alive yet? She is looking for her boyfriend a Jack Chance.
Chase His name is Jack Chase.
She needs help.
I thought of you, Dodo.
Really? And why would I want to help your oyster when you know that bringing her here puts us all at risk? Oh please.
I've spent years smuggling more dangerous things that this down here.
You know what rankles most about bloodsucking carpetbaggers like you, Hatter? Your gall.
While we risk our lives trying to bring freedom to ungrateful leeches like you, you swann about, living the good life.
Stop your crowing.
You know I'm on your side.
I'm sure you say That to all your enemies.
I do whats necessary.
I kiss wot bots need kissing so your machine stays oiled.
Look, if you can not help, I just leave.
Headstrong, isn't she? Can you help me get Jack out of the casino? I don't see how.
The resistance has contacts inside the casino, right? No comment.
Use them to find her guy.
She can pay you, but I want my usual cut upfront.
Pay me? Pay me with what? Show him the rock, Alice.
What? The ring on your finger.
No.
That is off limits! That's all you have, Alice.
No! It's not possible.
Where did you get it? It's none of your business.
It's not for sale.
Where did you get it? WotWhat, is it? Your oyster is wearing the Stone of Wonderland! That's impossible.
I'm never wrong - Where did you get alice? - Jack gave it to me - Jack? Jack Chase, the guy we're looking for.
Well, where did he got it? I don't know! - Give it to me - No! Take her out! Are you crazy? Stop!Just wait! You're in way over your head Hatter.
Just give me one second to talk to her, OK? It controls the looking glass.
You know that.
Calm down.
Put the gun away.
I'm sure we can all get what we want here.
But no one getting this ring! We've been waiting for years, for a break like this, and now it falls into our laps.
Stop waving that thing arround.
You're scaring everyone! If we can return the oysters back to their world, maybe we can save ours.
Just put the gun down! Think about it! The queen reduced to mopping floors.
It'll be just like the old days.
Justice Reason And the rule of law! Stop it! No! You shot Hatter! We don't need him anymore.
The ring is our ticket out of here.
Leave her alone, or, believe me, the next one will be aimed at your head! Look, Hatter, this is the game changer! I'll give you three times your price, 5! 10! You name it! Back off! If you let her leave with the ring, I will make every member of the resistance Hunting you down.
You'll be dead before teatime! And thats the thanks I get, huh? for keeping you bums-fed and watered all these years? Hatter! It is the blue button! Go, Alice! Hurry up and push the blue button! Go! Lucky.
Come on, Hatter! How did you do that? No! Bodyarmor? you're not even wounded? You lied to me! I was trying to help you.
By selling my ring? I didn't know it was the stone of Wonderland, did I? Well, you could have asked me before bringing me here! You would'nt have come! You're dammed right, i wouldn't.
he almost killed me! Yeah, well, he actually shot me! Now tell the truth.
What is the stone of Wonderland? It is big deal.
It was mined by the ancient knights to power the looking glass the door that connects our world to yours.
Knights? They were wiped out a long time ago by the Queen.
She took the looking glass and of course the stone.
How did Jack get hold of it? What now? The Queen wishes to know whether you have revived Mad March.
The queens favorite assassin? Oh! Yes, of course.
No, I'm still working on it.
Where is he? Where's his head? That's the part I'm still working on.
Well, I'll try to arrange an extension of Say, an hour.
Are you kidding? This will take weeks.
Well, the Queen wants him now.
Tough! The bio-molecular transfistropia is a delicate and complex process which requires time.
Besides which the subject is dead.
Is that what you'd like me to tell the Queen? Tough.
No, but Then have him ready in an hour.
Where do you think you're going? Anywhere but here.
There are no-go areas in this town.
I don't believe this is happening.
And this place, you people This is all too weird! Listen, calm down.
I'm gonna try and get you home, okay? Really? What, really.
Could Could'nt you keep still? And whats in it for you? Let me guess You want your usual cut upfront I don't blame you for being angry.
I acted impetuously .
.
No, selfishly.
you acted selfishly.
Whatever word you want to use! Let me make it up to you.
Alice, this is a dangerous place.
trust me, you gonna need my help.
Well? Where is he? I don't see him.
Before I present Mad March I feel I should war Eh Prepare you What? In the interest of expediency, I had to make some technical adjustments.
What are you talking about? Shortcuts.
How short? What on earth have you done to him? Think of him as a hybrid, Majesty.
In many ways, he is better than before.
We don't need a usermanual, do we? I hate user manuals.
Not too close.
He's still finding his way.
Does he have all his old skills? Forensic? Tracking? Homicidal mania? I believe so.
Believe so? There wasn't much time for testing.
Does he speak? Let's try him out then.
Mad March How are you today? Piss Off you .
.
cow.
Excellent! He's good as new! Now then Marchy, I need you to find someone A girl.
Not interested.
I see.
How disappointing.
Well, in that case, we'll just have to find another use for you.
Lets put him in the gaming room, where the geeks can have fun with him.
What? What else am I to do with you? I'm devastated truly.
Aw.
That's too bad Take him away.
He's obviously past his prime.
Okay.
Okay! Tell me about this broad.
The looking glass is the only way to get you back home And it is here in the city, but it's the most heavily guarded piece of kit in Wonderland.
I've got to find Jack first.
Have you not heard a word I've said? I don't know how he got mixed up in this, but I know that he's not a thief.
He was trying to surprise me, or sweep me off my feet, and.
.
so, somehow, he got a hold of this ring, and it has landed him in a pile of trouble.
If it wasn't for me he would be home safe.
How did he get hold of it? Well, I don't know.
The point is I'm the only one who can get him out of this mess.
How'd you figure that out? Well, I've got the ring.
I can use it to negotiate his release.
No.
No.
You No? No, you can negotiate with the Queen.
She's crazy.
You have to cut your losses.
get the hell out of here while still can.
No, I can't simply just abandon Jack.
I mean, he's innocent.
And besides, I like him.
Oh you like him? Yes A lot! Trust me I know a thing or two about liking people, and, in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, like,turns into, what was his name again No, not in my world.
Look, I have a bad record with liking guys There's a shock.
Well and this is the first one,that has meant anything.
there's no way that I'm going to give him up now.
Stay close.
Hey.
Hey! Look at me Did you see her? Hey! Get out of here! Hey.
You! Did you see? Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I asked She told you she was Alice - Yes If you work with rats long enough.
you can turn into one, eh? What is that? Nothing I've ever seen before.
Wait No, it can be.
Sir? Sir! suits! Sir? What? We should run.
Run! Hurry! Come on! that way.
down here! my smuggling boat.
Quickly! Hang on.
There's a knack to this.
Which, apparently, I've never learned! Come on! Damn! I'll call for a scarab.
Where is the casino? I already told you, can't negotiate with the Queen.
But The white rabbit is a different kettle of onions.
Prehaps they'll do a deal.
It's a long shot, but the only one we've got.
We? I don't think you know this, Alice, but my shop was ransacked.
I'm homeless.
I am a target now, not only for the suits, but the resistance as well, and there's only so many place in Wonderland that I can hide.
The way I see it, I've only got one option -Which is? Go back with you to your world.
Before we do anything, We must get rid of the royal escort.
They are heading for the shore.
I don't know who that weirdo is leading the posse, but he's got one hell of a nose for blood.
And this is the place to find it.
What was that? There are things in these woods that defy imagination.
Come on, we haven't got much time.
Look We can't shake the posse.
We can't fight them either.
There's only one thing left to try.
What's that? Lead them into a trap.
Keep your breathing shallow.
Did you hear that? Yep, you should finda tree that you can climb.
What? Why? the trap we talked about? This is it.
I'm the bait.
Go! Wait! What is it? Tell me! It is a Jabberwock.
What? Alice, less of the questions.
Just get going.
You're going to lead this thing back to the posse? Yes, after he gets a good look at me! Now, could you please go? That's your plan? If you don't Run.
Not that way! Hey! Come on! Are you okay? Yes Come on! Are you okay? Just about.
Stay still.
Vermin! Saboteurs! Anarchists! I was this close to catching him! This close! Degenerate air-heads! that's it.
This way.
Sabateurs! Pig pushing clots! Bug squashers! Who the hell are you? I am a knight.
The White Knight, to be precise.
Sir Charles Eustace Fothoringhay Le Malvois the Third.
Who are you? I'm Alice.
Alice? The Alice? The Alice? No.
Just Alice.
Just Alice? I thought all of you guys were wiped out years ago.
Well, you thought wrong.
As you can see, I'm tough as nails.
Are there any others like you? Certainly not! I'm a one off.
My nan used to say that if I were the only eligible bachelor left in the world I'd be an old maid.
???? my escutcheon No, I meant are there any other knights in these woods Your comrades in arms? heavens! No! Are you mad? We were all wiped out years ago.
So you dug that pit on your own? You think I'm too old? Well, let me tell you something, nugface Youth is vastly overrated! I may have put on a few years, but I'm crafty.
I have a very inventive and calculating mind thats high with groundbreaking state of the art ideas.
I invent all sorts of things.
The beehive-mousetrap, for instance.
This here pit, as you so rudely call it, is in fact my third attempt at the gravity assisted snare, Mark IV.
He's mad as a box of frogs.
How the hell have you survived? Oh, yes! I am a knight And I'm an inventor,as I said, but, If i'm honest, strickly only on a part time basis.
You don't say! And I dabble in the black arts, now and then soothsaying toenail readings that sort of thing.
Here, let me show you! Give me your palm.
Get off! Nothing.
It is the sacred ring.
The stone of Wonderland.
Our ring! Don't get too exited, Grandpa.
The ring stays on the lady finger, OK It is meant to be be! This time, this place, this meeting in the woods Okay, we need to get away from him before he gets us killed.
But maybe he can help us.
Have you forgotten about the weirdo that's tailing us? This freak show will draw his attention for sure.
If this knight has survived out here for this long, Maybe he knows a thing or two.
Listen, Charlie, we have some very bad men following us.
who want to kill us and steal the ring.
Do you know anywhere we can lay low for a while? The stars are aligned in a cosmic-ray of hope! And you want to put your faith in him? Yes He might be nuts and 150 years old, and dressed like a car crash But he's a survivor.
I'm not deaf! just Alice I will be honored to escort you, your goods and vassal to my sacred kingdom.
Did he just called me a vessel? even works over mud.
wiping the tracks clean away.
Maybe senile Sam does have a trick or two up his ahh escutcheon.
Welcome to the Kingdom of the Knights.
Well, well What do you know.
Before the war the Queen of Hearts This was once the greatest city in the realm.
The Red King and his elected council ruled Wonderland with the wisdom of the ancients.
And the hearts destroyed everything? We lived in harmony for a thousand years, but when the queen came to power She just wanted to feel the good not the bad.
Believe it or not, this was once the throne room.
sadly, all that's left now is the throne.
That was good, Charlie.
What was it? A barbecued zarrapastrojon.
They're the devil to catch, but well worth the trouble, don't you think? When in Rome Shall'nt be long.
What I want to know is how we cut a deal with the white rabbit.
I did say it was a longshot But as long as you got that ring, you've got a chance.
You! What happened to we? I can't leave, Alice.
Wonderland's my home.
I can't just abandon it, despite what I said I have to stay and fight.
What? Seeing all this Look This great kingdom and what what has become of it.
It's a wake up call, to be honest.
My people I mean, there's hundreds of refugees that are all hiding underground, they're all counting on me.
Didn't that Dodo guy, Say he was going to have you hunted down and killed? Yep But I'm thinking if I turn up with the ring, he might forgive me.
So that's what this is about Don't worry.
I'll get you home, safe and sound first.
And Jack? You have to forget about Jack.
We'll never get him out of the Casino alive and it's only going to set off alarm bells.
That will make your escape impossible! Okay, so you were just leading me on, back there there? Just believe me.
It will be a suicide.
Jack's a lucky guy.
What? Nothing.
Look, it's late and we all need our rest.
We can argue about this tomorrow.
Yes? Dinah? Dinah You're alive? What are you doing here? Dinah? Dad? Dad? Daddy? What was that? That's the Early Warning System! Someone has broken through the perimeter! Where's Alice? Battle stations! Sound the order of Seraphim! Drum! No.
No! I need a horse.
which way should we go? You don't have to come, Charlie.
This isn't your fight.
You could'nt be more wrong! The Alice of legend came to me for a reason.
Call it what you will, Divinity, fate, an alignment of forces beyond mortal understanding.
In time, you'll see that I am the true paladin here, and you are merely a harbinger.
And besides, you You'll never find her without my help.
Remember I'm also well versed in the black arts.
We shall be guided by my psychic connection the mysterious things that binds menkind to the outer realm.
Galadoon of Boosh.
You're going the road wrong way, harbinger! We should go west.
You go West.
I'm going east.
She going to the Hearts Casino.
But that's certain death.
Why would she go there? Hello Alice! You look like you could use a little company.
She's lying,of course.
We could search her again, of course More .
.
thoroughly.
It won't do any good.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Winston! Where did you hide it girl? I told you, I don't know what you're talking about.
I never worn a ring in my life.
We know Jack gave you the ring, Alice.
The White Rabbit told us, heaven rest his soul.
But the question is: Did you leave it in your world? Winston, you idiot! Now she knows we don't know if she brought it with her! Ahmn thats right.
Sorry, dearest.
This interrogation bussiness is very tricky.
Wait! Is she really that clever? Oh, yes.
I think she just may be.
You walked into Mad March's trap on purchase, didn't you? You wanted him to catch you, because you didn't know your way here.
you could only do that,of course if you'd hidden the ring first, somewhere very discreet.
Am I right? Your plan was to cut a deal with one of my cohorts, make your demands, and return the ring only when they'd been met.
But suddenly you find yourself face to face with the Queen of Hearts herself the most powerful woman in the history of Literature and you don't know wether you can go through with it.
you've lost your nerve.
That about sums it up, Doesen't it? No.
No? I haven't lost my nerve.
Now we've got her where we want her.
So, then,Alice, my dear What are your demands? I want you to free my boyfriend Jack Chase and send us both home.
When we're certain that we're safe, I'll tell you where the ring is.
I see.
Number Nine.
Go and fetch this Jack Chase.
But, maam Do as you're told.
What a coincidence.
It appeares that Jack Chase was waiting just outside the door.
me wonders why.
Jack? Are you alright? I'm fine.
What are you doing here? We found her running around the forest all on her tod, so I brought her here.
I was very curious to see what sort of tart my son is hanging around with these days.
Son? You're her son? His real name is Jack Heart.
He lied to you about that too.
- Mother .
.
- Don't Mother me you odious quizling.
Your girlfriend has hidden the stone of Wonderland out there in the bushes somewhere.
She's not my girlfriend.
She's nothing to me.
Jack? So why did you gave her my ring? As I said a thousand times before, I didn't gave it to her.
She took it.
She was an affair, that's all.
Someone to pass the time with as I explored her world.
I took the ring so's to be certain I'd have the power to return Little did I know she'd go through my things while I slept.
Alice Tell us where you hid the ring.
What? I didn't ask to come here.
I certainly didn't ask you to hide the ring, so come on Tell everyone where it is.
I won't tell anyone where it is until you've taken me home.
Perhaps that's not such a bad idea.
If I take her home, We'll be sure to get it back.
Brilliant.
The only little niggery well, I wouldn't trust you if you told me the sun is round.
Sadly, we've had to shut down the looking glass altogether now.
I'm sure we can run over the lovely girl without having to go all the way back to smelly old Home Sweet Home.
AhLook who's here.
The Duchess.
Majesty Meow.
Jack, you have nothing to say to your fiancee? What? Do not tell me Jack forgot to mention his life-long love, his wildly romantic engagement, and upcoming wedding? So this is I'm afraid so.
Really? I'm starting to wonder about your taste, Jack.
But if you think she's pretty, What must you think of me? He thinks you're the most gorgeous creature in the world.
That's why he's marrying you.
You see, Alice, dear, Jack's been engaged for months now.
His flight through the looking glass was no more than a diversion, ????, A wave goodbye to a mischievous youth.
You're going to tell us where you hid the ring and then you're going to wish you had never laid eyes on my son.
Well, I'd better run.
goodbye, Alice.
I forgive you for taking the ring.
I know you're upset with me and I don't blame you.
He's here.
goodbye.
Duchess? Take her to the Truth Room.
Yes, Maam.
Dad? Daddy! Keep moving.
He's here.
Who is she, Jack? Jealous? Of course I am.
Then help get me out of here.
You know I can't do that, but, maybe If you tell me what your up to I'm not up to anything.
????, indeed we should not have any secrets between us.
I know what you're thinking, but that isn't so,no how.
contrarywise, if it weren't so, it might be and if were so,it would be but as it isn't, ????.
That's logic.
I am Dr.
Dee, and this is my brother Dr.
Dum.
Our job is to open you up, pull everything out until we find everything we're looking for.
Relax.
Let your mind go.
Allow yourself to fall into a deep sleep.
Dad? How old are you? But you are alone in the house.
Why have you been left alone? Dad left.
Mom is asking the neighbour to take care of me so that she can look for him.
Did he say goodbye? No.
Why don't you see if He's left you something in his study? No.
Why not? I'm afraid to go in there.
Nonsense.
Humpty-Dumptysat on the wall Humpty-Dumpty had agreat fall all the King's horses and all the King's Men Couldn't put Humpty together again Now is the timefor a battle.
Let's see if we can find a little lever and pry the tasty oyster open.
Please! No! Well, now It looks like Daddy left you with a fear of heights.
This isn't happening.
It's all in my head.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
I just have to wake up.
It's real! Of course it's real.
But I'll die! Undoubtedly.
But do not want to know where I hid the ring? Not really.
This is much more fun.
Are you crazy? Clinically insane.
That's it for tonight.
See you on Tuesday.
Mr.
Chase? I believe we have a private lesson.
How many classes have you taken so far, Mr.
Chase? 10 in 6 weeks but I could always do with more.
You know that I'm only part-time.
You'll have to see another instructor.
Who do you recommend? Hajime.
Tim Roberts is a very good instructor.
I heard that he has a mean streak.
What about Jenny Moyers? She's no good for you.
Why not? too Pretty? Alice, that really hurt! Sorry, honey.
Where? Everywhere.
Should I kiss it better? Better? The pain is below.
No, do not get up! I need medical attention.
Come on.
So, tonight 7:00.
My mother is so looking foward to it.
Good for your mum.
I am too.
What have you told her about me? Just that your leg kicks need work.
true.
Can you spare any change, mam? No, but I've got these.
No.
.
.
No.
Absolutely no.
Where are these from? Kokatahi.
Where is that? Hawaii? New Zealand.
oh nice.
If Daddy is in New Zealand maybe I'll go looking for him myself.
Well, not in Kokatahi.
Will I bring out the fine china? Well, I thought you were excited to meet him.
I am! I only hope it's not the kiss of death Again.
What are you talking about? Alice, you know it's true.
You no sooner bring a guy home, and then you come up with a million reasons why he should never come back.
Well this one's different.
Good evening.
Ah! the roses, please? Thank you.
Hey you.
We were just talking about you.
Do you need more time? No, I think we covered everything.
come in.
For me? For both of you.
How lovely.
This is my mum, Carol and Jack.
Jack.
How wonderful to meet you at last.
The same here.
Let me put these in water.
Hang on.
This one is for you.
Dinner will be in 20 minutes, so you two entertain yourselves.
Thank you.
and then we'll redoo the floors sometime this fall.
Well, you have a beautiful home.
Thank you.
It feels like we've been here forever, because we have.
It's been the two of us for what? I guess almost 10 years now? 10 years on March 23.
Alice is meticulous with dates.
Yeah Well, that one.
that's when ? Her father disappeared on us.
Yes, of course.
Listen, my film is about to start, and I think the two of you can handle being without me for a little while, so I am going to say goodnight.
Thank you for dinner.
It was a treat.
Your very welcome.
Alright, sweetheart You can leave everything on the table.
- Good night, Mom - Good night.
I didn't mean to do the family baggage thing.
No, it's fine.
I I want know all about you.
What's up? how would you like to meet my family? Are they coming to town? No.
We'd have to go there.
Oh! ah OK When? What about tonight? Are you crazy? It will be an adventure.
Some things are more exciting on the spur of the moment don't you think? No.
.
.
Not when it involves meeting your parents.
Jack, I would have to get myself togetherand.
.
.
Alice, you're perfect as you are, and we could be back by Monday morning.
I know nothing about them Um What if they don't approve of me? They'll they'll approve of you when they see you with this.
It's got a hidden catch.
It looks really old.
It's been in my family a very long time.
Are you giving me this? Would you like to try it on? Jack, a ring means something.
This is too fast.
No, it's way too fast.
OK.
I'm Sorry, I got the wrong idea.
Maybe after you've seen my home met my friends No, I can't come with you, Jack.
Not tonight.
Maybe we should just take it easy for a while See what we feel in a few days, and.
.
.
Alice, I Just Give me some time.
Goodbye, Jack.
Was it a diamond ring? No.
.
.
But it was incredibly valuable.
So After weighing all the possible cons with all the unlikely pros you just kicked him out? I don't need the lecture.
Alice Honey, listen.
Just because dad left.
It does'nt mean they all will.
Well The ring.
He slipped in my pocket.
theres no way.
Jack! Jack! I'm afraid he's gone.
Who are you? A friend of Jack's.
I'm here to help him.
So why didn't you? Who are those guys? Jack took something that didn't belong to him.
We need it back.
What are you talking about? the ring, Alice.
How do you know my name? Where have you taken Jack? He's quite safe.
Then bring him back and let him tell me himself.
I'm afraid he's got to go back with me to face charges.
So you do have it.
No! Where did you take Jack? Wait! Hey, stop! Hello? Hey! Wait! What is this place? Hey! Wait! Come on! Curiosity killed the cat.
Oh my God! Spare some change, mam? No, but I've got these.
What happened? Hey! Stop! Stop! Good.
We have a.
Take them away.
Let me out of this thing! Temper, temper.
What the hell is this place? Mm, you should not have come after me , small oyster.
Hey! Come back here! Must dash.
running late.
Don't even think about it buddy.
You're an oyster! Just put the knife away.
I don't want nothin' to do with you, Do you hear? I'm a working man.
I don't want no trouble.
Suits see us together we both be dead, Wait! I need directions, sir! Go away.
can't help any oyster.
I'll pay you! Look, I have some money.
What is that? 20 bucks.
Bucks? I'm looking for a man who was kidnapped and brought here.
If you help me find him it's yours.
An oyster like you? Yeah.
I'm Alice.
The Alice? the Alice of legend? Ah you're kind of freaking me out umm, the guy that I'm looking for, he's probably locked inside that flying beetle thing.
Do you know where it's headed? You come with me.
Quick, quick! Oh, thanks But, no,no, I'm good.
Oh, if they if they see that you oyster, you dead.
They? Who's they? First I go.
Count 10, then follow, okay? What's in there? A man who knows! Knows that? Wait! Lust emotion passion I have an important announcement! A new tea has just come on the market.
Ever get that guilty feeling? Maybe abandoned the wife and kids.
And left them without a crumb to split between them? Or maybe you killed someone? A relative Or a neighbor And it's left that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach It's growing little by little Into a dull throbbing pain Gnawing away at you Undermining your confidence And making you feel sick and worthless.
and fearful? Well, fear no longer! Because Clear Conscience Has finally arrived.
Ah, The latest wonder of wonderfullness from this wonder of all wonders.
The hearts casino! Wait here.
Would you like a cup of tea? No thank you.
Who are you? A friend I hope.
I run the tea shop.
See? How did you break out of the scarab? The beetle thing? I used my hair pin and.
.
.
fell.
As you can see, I'm drenched.
Is this place ?Where ? What is it? Oh Wonderland.
That's a story in a kids book.
Does this look like a kid's story to you? No.
It's changed a lot since then.
So you are saying that it was real? You Oysters, don't know how to find us, So, excuse me So you tell yourself that we don't exist, and, quite frankly, I would like to keep it that way.
Why am I an oyter.
This? That's not going to come off.
Sorry.
Only the people from your world turn green when burned by the light.
It 's the Suits way of branding their catch, and they call you Oysters because of the shiny little pearls that you all carry inside.
What do you mean Pearls? She's Alice! Tell him who you are.
Wow, really? Ratty here thinks you're alice Of legend.
Who? The last umm The last time a girl called Alice came here from your world, she brought down the whole house of cards.
Oh, yes.
Made quite an impression Although it was 150 years ago.
It can't be the same girl! Oysters don't even live that long.
I still want a good price.
Wait a minute.
I am not for sale.
Not on the grass! Well.
Here we are.
Pink Nectar Filled with the thrill of human excitation.
50 oysters were drained of every last drop of hullabaloo so tht you, Ratty, can taste what it feels like win just once.
A warning Don't take it on an empty stomach, and only one tiny little drop at a time, otherwise, the experience might burst your shriveled up little heart.
got it? - got it.
- Just go.
He really smells.
Oysters were drained? What do you mean drained? Ratty tells me you're looking for someone.
His name is Jack Chase.
He was taken by a man with a white rabbit on his lapel.
I see.
the White Rabbit.
is an organization controlled by the suits.
They travel back and forth through the looking glass and vanish people from your world to ours.
Why? To use in the Casino.
Use? Did I say use? Slip of the tongue.
They're fine.
You know, they keep them alive, and.
.
.
moderately happy.
How do I get to this casino? That's the thing You don't.
way too dangerous.
But I know some people who know some other people If you know what I mean.
It's one of the privileges of running a tea shop.
Lighten up.
You you should wear this.
It'll cover the glow and stop you from catching a cold.
I have a little money, but I understand that you don't use that here.
Pieces of paper.
Pointless.
Then why would you help me? Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? I see.
You don't trust me.
fine! I am genuinely hurt.
Do you know why they call me Hatter? Cause you wear a hat? No.
Because I'm always there when they pass the hat.
So to speak.
Philanthropy Generosity I mean, you you can call it what you will.
It's who I am, and right now, looking at you, there is nothing I want more than to help you find Jack Jack And return you both to your charming world of children stories.
I don't believe you.
I know what you're thinking.
If I am the frying pan, then that, out there is the fire.
I'll be square with you.
I know people who like to help your kind, And if, every once in a while, I scratch their back They'll scratch yours.
Precisely! Lot of scratching.
Try to keep up.
You're late.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Black Jack Black Jack Everyone will win.
The time has come, Walrus, old friend to test our many stills.
The Ohhhs, the Ahhhs the giving drops passions, thrills, and see how joy, and awe and lust can all be turned to pills.
Ahh! What is it? Eh, the king requests your presence, Carpenter.
Thank you.
What's the matter? I've got a thing about heights.
Why couldn't they have build the city on the ground? Look at me.
Try not to look down.
OK? The Scarab just brought in the last shipment of oysters.
How many? Make the most of them.
We won't be getting any more till we find that ring and restart the looking glass.
There was just enough juice left in it for the last sortie, and the Queen would like for you to harvest more unusual emotions It is difficult enough getting the simple ones.
You know it takes a thousand thrills to make just the tiniest drop.
People want to experience more exotic wonders Surprise adoration Ecstasy Calm Elation! Their, keeping the masses happy is a very great responsibility, Carpenter, and one that weighs heavy on my shoulders.
If our people don't feel what they want to feel when they want to feel it, well, the whole system breaks down! The instant gratification is a very complex business.
That's why we have to keep moving forward, forever discovering more exotic wonders.
Ah! There you are! Oh, joy.
Oh bright day! Finally, and at last! How do you open this thing? I don't know, Majesty.
Well, there's ahidden catch somewhere But I can never remember! Right.
Summon the Queen.
23 17! 54 and.
.
.
10! Everyone's a winner! This is such a rush! That one talked! Oh my God! What's the time? I got to pick up my kids! we have a conscience one here.
I'd better see if I can find the car.
I can't move my What's going on? Maam? Oh! Hello! My feet seem to be stuck.
There's nothing wrong with your feet, maam.
Tell you what.
Why don't you come with us? And we'll help you find what you're looking for.
My kids.
I think I have kids, a family.
I 'm pretty sure that my husband's a Taurus.
Do you know my name? I can't remember my name, for some reason! Listen you don't need to bother for little things like that, maam.
What's wrong? She's regaining her faculties.
Do you know my name? It's something beginning with B I think Take her to the waiting room.
Come with us.
Did you talk? You shouldn't have talked.
I was worried about my kids.
We all have family somewhere.
I gotta find my car.
You can't leave.
None of us can.
I'm returning a library book.
It is a work of Edwin and Morcar.
How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail? He poured water of the Nile on every golden scale.
Come on, quick.
Hello, ducks.
It's all right.
Wait Why don't we just put these things away? Come on, you know me well enough.
We have our orders.
Keep that right hand where we can see it! It's just flesh and blood.
Right.
We all seen what you can do with that sledge hammer.
Did you like the box of confits I brought you guys last week? The cured meat and the cheese? They're all gone.
Well, if you don't treat me with a little respect, You won't get another crumb.
Sorry, Hatter.
Everyone's a little jumpy.
Everyone's always a little jumpy.
Where are we? The Great Library.
5,000 years of history hidden here Art Literature Law.
Rescued when the Queen of Hearts seized power.
She'd like nothing more than to see this burnt to nothing.
Who are those poor people? Refugees.
Those who don't want to be a part of the Queen's world of instant gratifacation.
We give them shelter and try to feed them the best we can, but it is dangerous.
If the Queen found out, they wouldn't stand a chance.
Why would she want to destroy all this? Wisdom is the greatest threat.
She controls people with a quick fix.
How are all my lovely suits today? We are very very happy maam.
How nice.
You're all so clever and pretty.
We found the Stone of Wonderland.
Where is it? We'll have the looking glass up and running in no time, and this time, we can bring 50 or 100 oysters a day.
With a charming practical joke.
My dear? Why am I not surprised? The girl! The ring, Alice.
Girl? Agent White took the box from a girl an oyster.
She must have the ring.
Yes.
Where is she now? She escaped.
What exactly do you mean escaped? Some of honnycomb containers are gettin a little old.
We have renovations planned in next years budget, but An oyster is running arround wonderland.
With my ring? We'll find her! Oh we'll find her alright.
But you, Agent White, will take no furthur part.
His head, Mam? Yes, of course.
What else? His foot? I'll put all suits on standby.
No! It'll only alert the resistance.
The last thing we want is to feed that riffraff a grain of encouragement.
No, we need someone who can work quietly behind the scenes Someone coldblooded ruthless criminally insane.
Is the Mad March alive yet? She is looking for her boyfriend a Jack Chance.
Chase His name is Jack Chase.
She needs help.
I thought of you, Dodo.
Really? And why would I want to help your oyster when you know that bringing her here puts us all at risk? Oh please.
I've spent years smuggling more dangerous things that this down here.
You know what rankles most about bloodsucking carpetbaggers like you, Hatter? Your gall.
While we risk our lives trying to bring freedom to ungrateful leeches like you, you swann about, living the good life.
Stop your crowing.
You know I'm on your side.
I'm sure you say That to all your enemies.
I do whats necessary.
I kiss wot bots need kissing so your machine stays oiled.
Look, if you can not help, I just leave.
Headstrong, isn't she? Can you help me get Jack out of the casino? I don't see how.
The resistance has contacts inside the casino, right? No comment.
Use them to find her guy.
She can pay you, but I want my usual cut upfront.
Pay me? Pay me with what? Show him the rock, Alice.
What? The ring on your finger.
No.
That is off limits! That's all you have, Alice.
No! It's not possible.
Where did you get it? It's none of your business.
It's not for sale.
Where did you get it? WotWhat, is it? Your oyster is wearing the Stone of Wonderland! That's impossible.
I'm never wrong - Where did you get alice? - Jack gave it to me - Jack? Jack Chase, the guy we're looking for.
Well, where did he got it? I don't know! - Give it to me - No! Take her out! Are you crazy? Stop!Just wait! You're in way over your head Hatter.
Just give me one second to talk to her, OK? It controls the looking glass.
You know that.
Calm down.
Put the gun away.
I'm sure we can all get what we want here.
But no one getting this ring! We've been waiting for years, for a break like this, and now it falls into our laps.
Stop waving that thing arround.
You're scaring everyone! If we can return the oysters back to their world, maybe we can save ours.
Just put the gun down! Think about it! The queen reduced to mopping floors.
It'll be just like the old days.
Justice Reason And the rule of law! Stop it! No! You shot Hatter! We don't need him anymore.
The ring is our ticket out of here.
Leave her alone, or, believe me, the next one will be aimed at your head! Look, Hatter, this is the game changer! I'll give you three times your price, 5! 10! You name it! Back off! If you let her leave with the ring, I will make every member of the resistance Hunting you down.
You'll be dead before teatime! And thats the thanks I get, huh? for keeping you bums-fed and watered all these years? Hatter! It is the blue button! Go, Alice! Hurry up and push the blue button! Go! Lucky.
Come on, Hatter! How did you do that? No! Bodyarmor? you're not even wounded? You lied to me! I was trying to help you.
By selling my ring? I didn't know it was the stone of Wonderland, did I? Well, you could have asked me before bringing me here! You would'nt have come! You're dammed right, i wouldn't.
he almost killed me! Yeah, well, he actually shot me! Now tell the truth.
What is the stone of Wonderland? It is big deal.
It was mined by the ancient knights to power the looking glass the door that connects our world to yours.
Knights? They were wiped out a long time ago by the Queen.
She took the looking glass and of course the stone.
How did Jack get hold of it? What now? The Queen wishes to know whether you have revived Mad March.
The queens favorite assassin? Oh! Yes, of course.
No, I'm still working on it.
Where is he? Where's his head? That's the part I'm still working on.
Well, I'll try to arrange an extension of Say, an hour.
Are you kidding? This will take weeks.
Well, the Queen wants him now.
Tough! The bio-molecular transfistropia is a delicate and complex process which requires time.
Besides which the subject is dead.
Is that what you'd like me to tell the Queen? Tough.
No, but Then have him ready in an hour.
Where do you think you're going? Anywhere but here.
There are no-go areas in this town.
I don't believe this is happening.
And this place, you people This is all too weird! Listen, calm down.
I'm gonna try and get you home, okay? Really? What, really.
Could Could'nt you keep still? And whats in it for you? Let me guess You want your usual cut upfront I don't blame you for being angry.
I acted impetuously .
.
No, selfishly.
you acted selfishly.
Whatever word you want to use! Let me make it up to you.
Alice, this is a dangerous place.
trust me, you gonna need my help.
Well? Where is he? I don't see him.
Before I present Mad March I feel I should war Eh Prepare you What? In the interest of expediency, I had to make some technical adjustments.
What are you talking about? Shortcuts.
How short? What on earth have you done to him? Think of him as a hybrid, Majesty.
In many ways, he is better than before.
We don't need a usermanual, do we? I hate user manuals.
Not too close.
He's still finding his way.
Does he have all his old skills? Forensic? Tracking? Homicidal mania? I believe so.
Believe so? There wasn't much time for testing.
Does he speak? Let's try him out then.
Mad March How are you today? Piss Off you .
.
cow.
Excellent! He's good as new! Now then Marchy, I need you to find someone A girl.
Not interested.
I see.
How disappointing.
Well, in that case, we'll just have to find another use for you.
Lets put him in the gaming room, where the geeks can have fun with him.
What? What else am I to do with you? I'm devastated truly.
Aw.
That's too bad Take him away.
He's obviously past his prime.
Okay.
Okay! Tell me about this broad.
The looking glass is the only way to get you back home And it is here in the city, but it's the most heavily guarded piece of kit in Wonderland.
I've got to find Jack first.
Have you not heard a word I've said? I don't know how he got mixed up in this, but I know that he's not a thief.
He was trying to surprise me, or sweep me off my feet, and.
.
so, somehow, he got a hold of this ring, and it has landed him in a pile of trouble.
If it wasn't for me he would be home safe.
How did he get hold of it? Well, I don't know.
The point is I'm the only one who can get him out of this mess.
How'd you figure that out? Well, I've got the ring.
I can use it to negotiate his release.
No.
No.
You No? No, you can negotiate with the Queen.
She's crazy.
You have to cut your losses.
get the hell out of here while still can.
No, I can't simply just abandon Jack.
I mean, he's innocent.
And besides, I like him.
Oh you like him? Yes A lot! Trust me I know a thing or two about liking people, and, in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, like,turns into, what was his name again No, not in my world.
Look, I have a bad record with liking guys There's a shock.
Well and this is the first one,that has meant anything.
there's no way that I'm going to give him up now.
Stay close.
Hey.
Hey! Look at me Did you see her? Hey! Get out of here! Hey.
You! Did you see? Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I asked She told you she was Alice - Yes If you work with rats long enough.
you can turn into one, eh? What is that? Nothing I've ever seen before.
Wait No, it can be.
Sir? Sir! suits! Sir? What? We should run.
Run! Hurry! Come on! that way.
down here! my smuggling boat.
Quickly! Hang on.
There's a knack to this.
Which, apparently, I've never learned! Come on! Damn! I'll call for a scarab.
Where is the casino? I already told you, can't negotiate with the Queen.
But The white rabbit is a different kettle of onions.
Prehaps they'll do a deal.
It's a long shot, but the only one we've got.
We? I don't think you know this, Alice, but my shop was ransacked.
I'm homeless.
I am a target now, not only for the suits, but the resistance as well, and there's only so many place in Wonderland that I can hide.
The way I see it, I've only got one option -Which is? Go back with you to your world.
Before we do anything, We must get rid of the royal escort.
They are heading for the shore.
I don't know who that weirdo is leading the posse, but he's got one hell of a nose for blood.
And this is the place to find it.
What was that? There are things in these woods that defy imagination.
Come on, we haven't got much time.
Look We can't shake the posse.
We can't fight them either.
There's only one thing left to try.
What's that? Lead them into a trap.
Keep your breathing shallow.
Did you hear that? Yep, you should finda tree that you can climb.
What? Why? the trap we talked about? This is it.
I'm the bait.
Go! Wait! What is it? Tell me! It is a Jabberwock.
What? Alice, less of the questions.
Just get going.
You're going to lead this thing back to the posse? Yes, after he gets a good look at me! Now, could you please go? That's your plan? If you don't Run.
Not that way! Hey! Come on! Are you okay? Yes Come on! Are you okay? Just about.
Stay still.
Vermin! Saboteurs! Anarchists! I was this close to catching him! This close! Degenerate air-heads! that's it.
This way.
Sabateurs! Pig pushing clots! Bug squashers! Who the hell are you? I am a knight.
The White Knight, to be precise.
Sir Charles Eustace Fothoringhay Le Malvois the Third.
Who are you? I'm Alice.
Alice? The Alice? The Alice? No.
Just Alice.
Just Alice? I thought all of you guys were wiped out years ago.
Well, you thought wrong.
As you can see, I'm tough as nails.
Are there any others like you? Certainly not! I'm a one off.
My nan used to say that if I were the only eligible bachelor left in the world I'd be an old maid.
???? my escutcheon No, I meant are there any other knights in these woods Your comrades in arms? heavens! No! Are you mad? We were all wiped out years ago.
So you dug that pit on your own? You think I'm too old? Well, let me tell you something, nugface Youth is vastly overrated! I may have put on a few years, but I'm crafty.
I have a very inventive and calculating mind thats high with groundbreaking state of the art ideas.
I invent all sorts of things.
The beehive-mousetrap, for instance.
This here pit, as you so rudely call it, is in fact my third attempt at the gravity assisted snare, Mark IV.
He's mad as a box of frogs.
How the hell have you survived? Oh, yes! I am a knight And I'm an inventor,as I said, but, If i'm honest, strickly only on a part time basis.
You don't say! And I dabble in the black arts, now and then soothsaying toenail readings that sort of thing.
Here, let me show you! Give me your palm.
Get off! Nothing.
It is the sacred ring.
The stone of Wonderland.
Our ring! Don't get too exited, Grandpa.
The ring stays on the lady finger, OK It is meant to be be! This time, this place, this meeting in the woods Okay, we need to get away from him before he gets us killed.
But maybe he can help us.
Have you forgotten about the weirdo that's tailing us? This freak show will draw his attention for sure.
If this knight has survived out here for this long, Maybe he knows a thing or two.
Listen, Charlie, we have some very bad men following us.
who want to kill us and steal the ring.
Do you know anywhere we can lay low for a while? The stars are aligned in a cosmic-ray of hope! And you want to put your faith in him? Yes He might be nuts and 150 years old, and dressed like a car crash But he's a survivor.
I'm not deaf! just Alice I will be honored to escort you, your goods and vassal to my sacred kingdom.
Did he just called me a vessel? even works over mud.
wiping the tracks clean away.
Maybe senile Sam does have a trick or two up his ahh escutcheon.
Welcome to the Kingdom of the Knights.
Well, well What do you know.
Before the war the Queen of Hearts This was once the greatest city in the realm.
The Red King and his elected council ruled Wonderland with the wisdom of the ancients.
And the hearts destroyed everything? We lived in harmony for a thousand years, but when the queen came to power She just wanted to feel the good not the bad.
Believe it or not, this was once the throne room.
sadly, all that's left now is the throne.
That was good, Charlie.
What was it? A barbecued zarrapastrojon.
They're the devil to catch, but well worth the trouble, don't you think? When in Rome Shall'nt be long.
What I want to know is how we cut a deal with the white rabbit.
I did say it was a longshot But as long as you got that ring, you've got a chance.
You! What happened to we? I can't leave, Alice.
Wonderland's my home.
I can't just abandon it, despite what I said I have to stay and fight.
What? Seeing all this Look This great kingdom and what what has become of it.
It's a wake up call, to be honest.
My people I mean, there's hundreds of refugees that are all hiding underground, they're all counting on me.
Didn't that Dodo guy, Say he was going to have you hunted down and killed? Yep But I'm thinking if I turn up with the ring, he might forgive me.
So that's what this is about Don't worry.
I'll get you home, safe and sound first.
And Jack? You have to forget about Jack.
We'll never get him out of the Casino alive and it's only going to set off alarm bells.
That will make your escape impossible! Okay, so you were just leading me on, back there there? Just believe me.
It will be a suicide.
Jack's a lucky guy.
What? Nothing.
Look, it's late and we all need our rest.
We can argue about this tomorrow.
Yes? Dinah? Dinah You're alive? What are you doing here? Dinah? Dad? Dad? Daddy? What was that? That's the Early Warning System! Someone has broken through the perimeter! Where's Alice? Battle stations! Sound the order of Seraphim! Drum! No.
No! I need a horse.
which way should we go? You don't have to come, Charlie.
This isn't your fight.
You could'nt be more wrong! The Alice of legend came to me for a reason.
Call it what you will, Divinity, fate, an alignment of forces beyond mortal understanding.
In time, you'll see that I am the true paladin here, and you are merely a harbinger.
And besides, you You'll never find her without my help.
Remember I'm also well versed in the black arts.
We shall be guided by my psychic connection the mysterious things that binds menkind to the outer realm.
Galadoon of Boosh.
You're going the road wrong way, harbinger! We should go west.
You go West.
I'm going east.
She going to the Hearts Casino.
But that's certain death.
Why would she go there? Hello Alice! You look like you could use a little company.
She's lying,of course.
We could search her again, of course More .
.
thoroughly.
It won't do any good.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Winston! Where did you hide it girl? I told you, I don't know what you're talking about.
I never worn a ring in my life.
We know Jack gave you the ring, Alice.
The White Rabbit told us, heaven rest his soul.
But the question is: Did you leave it in your world? Winston, you idiot! Now she knows we don't know if she brought it with her! Ahmn thats right.
Sorry, dearest.
This interrogation bussiness is very tricky.
Wait! Is she really that clever? Oh, yes.
I think she just may be.
You walked into Mad March's trap on purchase, didn't you? You wanted him to catch you, because you didn't know your way here.
you could only do that,of course if you'd hidden the ring first, somewhere very discreet.
Am I right? Your plan was to cut a deal with one of my cohorts, make your demands, and return the ring only when they'd been met.
But suddenly you find yourself face to face with the Queen of Hearts herself the most powerful woman in the history of Literature and you don't know wether you can go through with it.
you've lost your nerve.
That about sums it up, Doesen't it? No.
No? I haven't lost my nerve.
Now we've got her where we want her.
So, then,Alice, my dear What are your demands? I want you to free my boyfriend Jack Chase and send us both home.
When we're certain that we're safe, I'll tell you where the ring is.
I see.
Number Nine.
Go and fetch this Jack Chase.
But, maam Do as you're told.
What a coincidence.
It appeares that Jack Chase was waiting just outside the door.
me wonders why.
Jack? Are you alright? I'm fine.
What are you doing here? We found her running around the forest all on her tod, so I brought her here.
I was very curious to see what sort of tart my son is hanging around with these days.
Son? You're her son? His real name is Jack Heart.
He lied to you about that too.
- Mother .
.
- Don't Mother me you odious quizling.
Your girlfriend has hidden the stone of Wonderland out there in the bushes somewhere.
She's not my girlfriend.
She's nothing to me.
Jack? So why did you gave her my ring? As I said a thousand times before, I didn't gave it to her.
She took it.
She was an affair, that's all.
Someone to pass the time with as I explored her world.
I took the ring so's to be certain I'd have the power to return Little did I know she'd go through my things while I slept.
Alice Tell us where you hid the ring.
What? I didn't ask to come here.
I certainly didn't ask you to hide the ring, so come on Tell everyone where it is.
I won't tell anyone where it is until you've taken me home.
Perhaps that's not such a bad idea.
If I take her home, We'll be sure to get it back.
Brilliant.
The only little niggery well, I wouldn't trust you if you told me the sun is round.
Sadly, we've had to shut down the looking glass altogether now.
I'm sure we can run over the lovely girl without having to go all the way back to smelly old Home Sweet Home.
AhLook who's here.
The Duchess.
Majesty Meow.
Jack, you have nothing to say to your fiancee? What? Do not tell me Jack forgot to mention his life-long love, his wildly romantic engagement, and upcoming wedding? So this is I'm afraid so.
Really? I'm starting to wonder about your taste, Jack.
But if you think she's pretty, What must you think of me? He thinks you're the most gorgeous creature in the world.
That's why he's marrying you.
You see, Alice, dear, Jack's been engaged for months now.
His flight through the looking glass was no more than a diversion, ????, A wave goodbye to a mischievous youth.
You're going to tell us where you hid the ring and then you're going to wish you had never laid eyes on my son.
Well, I'd better run.
goodbye, Alice.
I forgive you for taking the ring.
I know you're upset with me and I don't blame you.
He's here.
goodbye.
Duchess? Take her to the Truth Room.
Yes, Maam.
Dad? Daddy! Keep moving.
He's here.
Who is she, Jack? Jealous? Of course I am.
Then help get me out of here.
You know I can't do that, but, maybe If you tell me what your up to I'm not up to anything.
????, indeed we should not have any secrets between us.
I know what you're thinking, but that isn't so,no how.
contrarywise, if it weren't so, it might be and if were so,it would be but as it isn't, ????.
That's logic.
I am Dr.
Dee, and this is my brother Dr.
Dum.
Our job is to open you up, pull everything out until we find everything we're looking for.
Relax.
Let your mind go.
Allow yourself to fall into a deep sleep.
Dad? How old are you? But you are alone in the house.
Why have you been left alone? Dad left.
Mom is asking the neighbour to take care of me so that she can look for him.
Did he say goodbye? No.
Why don't you see if He's left you something in his study? No.
Why not? I'm afraid to go in there.
Nonsense.
Humpty-Dumptysat on the wall Humpty-Dumpty had agreat fall all the King's horses and all the King's Men Couldn't put Humpty together again Now is the timefor a battle.
Let's see if we can find a little lever and pry the tasty oyster open.
Please! No! Well, now It looks like Daddy left you with a fear of heights.
This isn't happening.
It's all in my head.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
I just have to wake up.
It's real! Of course it's real.
But I'll die! Undoubtedly.
But do not want to know where I hid the ring? Not really.
This is much more fun.
Are you crazy? Clinically insane.