All Creatures Great And Small (1978) s01e01 Episode Script

1 (Young man ) Magnificent animal.
It's a horse.
Yes, I know.
It's good to see it.
You know, that not all of them have gone, driven out by the tractor.
Have you ploughed with horse and tractor, then? Er, well Not exactly.
I thought not.
- Big place, is it? - Not as big as Leeds.
Will I have any difficulty finding my way about? To the vet's, for example.
You won't get lost if you've owt about you.
Excuse me, could you tell me where Traingate is, please? - You want Skeldale House.
- No, I want the vet's.
Skeldale is where the vet lives.
Thank you.
- (Dogs barking) - Shut up! Good afternoon.
My name is Herriot.
Mr Farnon is expecting me.
He wrote asking me to come today.
Mr Herriot? Surgery is from six till seven o'clock.
If you wanted to bring a dog, that'd be your best time.
No, no, I'm applying for the position of assistant.
- He said to come in time for tea.
- Assistant? Well, now.
I'm Mrs Hall.
I keep house for Mr Farnon.
He's a bachelor.
- Oh, yes? - He never said owt about you.
Oh.
Never mind.
Come in and have a cup of tea.
Thank you.
It shouldn't be long before he's back.
I suppose Mr Farnon is out on a case.
No, he's gone to Broughton to visit his mother.
I don't know when he'll be back, really.
- (Doorbell) - (Dogs bark) Quiet! Hello, hello.
Is Mr Farnon in? I'm afraid not.
Can I help you? Could you give him a message? Tell him Bert Sharpe has got a cow what wants boring out.
- Boring out? - Aye.
Goin' on three cylinders.
- Three cylinders? - Aye and if I don't do summat - she'll go wrong in her ewer.
- Very probably.
Don't forget, then.
You tell him.
Ta-ra.
(Coughing) Biggins is t'name.
Good afternoon.
Anything I can do? I've a cow grunting a bit.
Well, erm someone better come out and have a look at her.
Ah, well I don't know.
She might not be as bad as all that.
- Whatever you say.
- It's what you say.
- You're t'vet.
- Well, it's difficult.
After all, I We haven't seen her.
I think perhaps someone should pay her a visit.
It's all very fine but it's the expense.
It costs ten bob every time one of you sets foot on my place.
Then there's medicines on top of it.
Yes.
Well, perhaps you'd like to take something away with you.
A tin of stomach powder, perhaps.
- How do you know it's stomach? - I don't.
- It might be summat else.
- That's very true.
Look here.
It's a damn good cow this is.
I paid £50 for her at Scarborough market.
I'm sure she is.
So I feel she'd be worth a visit.
How about this afternoon? Aye, but would it be just one visit? No, happen you'll be coming again tomorrow and t'day after and we shall be landed with a clunkin' great bill.
I'm sorry but everything is very expensive these days.
Sometimes it'd be cheaper to give you t'cow at t'end of it.
Well, hardly! But I do see how you feel.
How about taking a fever drink as well as the stomach powder? That'd be safer.
You still couldn't be sure, could you? No, not absolutely sure.
- She might even have a wire in her.
- Yes.
Yes, she might.
Shoving medicine down her neck won't help.
- No, you're right.
- I think a lot of this cow - and I can't afford to lose it.
- That's why she should be seen.
I did suggest that, if you remember.
- Maybe that's the best, then.
- Yes.
Hadn't we better leave her while t'morning and see how she is? That's a very good idea.
You look at her in the morning and call us before nine if she's no better.
What if she doesn't last till t'morning? There is always that risk.
No good ringing if she's dead.
- True.
- Might as well ring Mallock.
- The knacker man.
- 'Fraid so, yes.
That's no use to me.
£5 from Mallock for a good cow.
- I do see how you feel.
- I think a lot of this cow.
- I'm sure.
- It'd be a very big loss to me.
What do you propose to do? Suppose you leave it until tonight to see if she recovers, and if she's not right, say, by eight, someone could come out and have a look.
- You'll come round then? - That's right.
Aye Last time you came out at night you charged extra for it.
That is usual in veterinary practice.
I shall be worse off than I were afore.
- Yes, I suppose so.
- I'm not a rich man.
No, I realise that.
It takes me all me time to pay t'ordinary bills.
- Yes, I'm sure.
- So that's a bad idea.
- Yes.
- Right, then, I'll be off.
- Grunting a bit, she is.
- Erm It's a good cow.
I can't afford to lose her.
(Dogs bark) - (Man hums ) - (Door slams ) Herriot? Herriot? - Hm? - I'm Siegfried Farnon.
Sorry you've had to wait.
- Oh, how do you do? - Very well indeed, thank you.
There was a Mr Biggins here about a sick cow.
He wanted us erm you to visit.
No, he didn't want you to visit.
He just wanted stomach powder.
- His cow sounds in a bad way.
- Ah, yes.
A Miss Brompton came for tea and I said you'd been called away.
Ah, yes.
Never mind about that.
I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived.
I've a shocking memory.
Come on.
I want to show you the place.
Very conservative folk, farmers.
And the Dales farmers are more conservative than most.
There you are.
The surgery.
- What do you think of it? - It looks very good.
Excellent.
You seem to have everything.
Yes.
It was very old-fashioned when I took over.
This sort of thing, you know.
Had to introduce a lot of new stuff.
Look at this, Herriot.
Adrivan.
The remedy for redworming horses.
It's a bit expensive.
Ten bob for a packet.
And look at this.
Gentian violet pessaries.
Shove one of these in a cow's uterus after a dirty cleansing, turns the discharges a very pretty colour.
Do you know this trick? A few crystals of resublimated iodine.
Like that.
A few drops of turpentine.
(Whistles ) La-la-la la la It's like witchcraft, isn't it? I use it for wounds in horses' feet.
The chemical reaction drives the iodine deep into the tissues.
- It does? - I don't know.
That's the theory.
But it looks wonderful.
Impresses the toughest client.
There is my latest purchase.
A wonderful thing.
- Oh.
- Take a peep at my retina.
- Very pretty.
- Huh? I could write you a certificate of soundness.
Good! I always thought I had a touch of cataract.
And here is the theatre.
Not much small animal work in this district.
I'm trying to encourage it.
Makes a nice change.
A lot of old hands wouldn't look at a dog or cat.
- But the profession must change.
- Oh, yes.
Really first class.
(Hums ) There was another caller while you were out.
Bert Sharpe.
I think he thought you may have been a garage.
He talked about boring out a cow going on three cylinders - and ewer and felon.
- He wanted Hudson's operation.
Doing out a blocked teat.
Here, hold that.
Ewer is the udder and felon is the local name for mastitis.
I'll soon learn the terminology.
Erm yes.
You know, if I'm successful enough to get the job.
- I wasn't assuming that - No, no.
That's all right.
We'd better be getting out to Sharpe's.
There are one or two other visits.
Look, why don't you come with me and I'll show you the district? - I'd like that.
- Good.
- Come on, boys.
Come on, dogs! - (Dogs bark) Come on, girl, get in there.
Go on, Christie.
Go on.
Get in there.
Go on, go on, go on.
Good boy.
Go on.
Sorry! That sometimes happens.
I should have warned you.
Seat's a little loose.
Here, take that.
- Lame mare where we're going.
- Yes.
I saw some horses when I came.
Still using them? Yes, but they're going fast.
Pity.
My favourite animal, the horse.
Yes.
Fine animals.
Still, if I was going to plough a field, - I'd take a tractor.
- Don't you like horses? Oh, yes, they're fine.
It's just, you know, the work.
Hm.
Well, I prefer working with horses to anything else.
- They're interesting - If I should take you on I could do the horse work myself but I like horses very much.
I was just thinking of the labour of ploughing.
Done much ploughing, have you? Brought up on a farm? Er no.
No, I was just, you know imagining what it would be like.
Ah.
Hello, Mr Farnon.
I'll get her.
Let's see her walk, then.
Which leg do you make it? - Near fore.
- I think so, too.
- Would you like to examine it? - Mm.
This one's hotter than the other.
Have you a hammer? Thanks.
Up, girl.
That's it.
Thank you.
Looks like pus in the foot to me.
I'll bet you're right.
They call it "gravel" here.
What do you suggest we do about it? Open up the sole and evacuate the pus.
Right.
I'll watch your technique.
- Try that.
- Thank you.
Damn.
There are several places it could be.
I'll try this one.
She likes you.
She prefers to lean on you than her bad foot! There it goes.
She'll get relief now.
Well done, Herriot.
Just isn't funny when the horn's as hard as that.
A shot of tetanus antitoxin.
Come on.
There you are, old girl.
Now, then, Mr White, if you'll hold up the hoof, I'll just disinfect the cavity.
Come up, lass.
Up, lass.
Come on, now.
Up, lass.
Good and high.
Thank you.
(Coughs ) By God, Mr Farnon.
I wondered what the hell had happened here for a minute.
Ain't it wonderful what science can do nowadays? Got here, then? That's good.
Afternoon, Mr Sharpe.
Hear you've got a blocked teat.
That's about it.
I thought you'd better see her.
Here she is.
Mm-hm.
Blocked.
Hudson's.
Aha.
There you are.
(Sharpe ) 'Ey up! I'm sorry, I ought to have told you.
This is a very friendly cow and she always likes to shake hands.
(Sharpe laughing) - She'll be all right now.
- Yes, but will you be? (All laugh) She's going on all four cylinders now.
Good.
- Is that the best you can do, then? - Er it's a double four.
- There you are.
- Thanks.
- Good health.
- Good health.
Well you can have this job if you want it.
£4 a week and full board, OK? Thanks! - I accept.
- Good.
Let me tell you about the practice.
I bought it from an old man of 80 a year ago.
Still practising, mind you.
Marvellous, tough old character.
But he got a bit beyond getting up in the middle of the night.
And in other ways he'd let the practice slide.
Those ancient instruments you saw belonged to him.
What with one thing and another there wasn't much practice left.
I'm trying to build it up again.
From today's visits I'd say you were very successful.
It's coming on.
The farmers like to see a younger man with new treatments.
They're not too conservative, then.
Well they are about one thing.
Money.
It's a devil of a job educating them out of the three and six penny treatments.
Dalesmen are marvellous people but they don't like parting with their brass.
Unless you can prove they're getting something in return.
Come on.
Sup up.
I'll get you another.
- I'll get these.
- No, no.
My night.
Same again, please.
You're looking pleased with yourself.
Yes.
Do I look so smug? Yes.
Well, I must admit to feeling very relieved.
Most chaps at college haven't found anything.
It's a bad time.
All those pathetic advertisements you see.
"Veterinary surgeon, fully experienced.
"Will work for keep.
" Very bad for the profession, offering services for nothing.
Still, we're all right, as long as we work hard.
There's a chap over there I want to have a word with.
He never could make up his mind whether to call us in or not.
Yeah, useless these days.
They don't take the trouble.
I was repairing old Colton's dry-stone walls the other day, you know, where it comes down to t'beck.
Some daft sod run his car into it, didn't he? That's right.
I was setting it up again.
One of these walking chaps come along, - all socks and walking stick.
- Aye.
Dales is full of 'em.
He says to me, "You're making a good job of that wall.
" I said, "Of course I am.
I've got to look at t'bugger "for t'next 30 years.
" A pint, please.
- You're new round here.
- Yes, that's right.
- Came in with Mr Farnon? - Yes.
I'm his new assistant.
- A vet? - That's right.
You'll be seeing a lot of me around here.
But when you come here to tap the fluid off our beer barrels, you pay us.
Here's your new boss wanting his pint.
- Take for two, would you? - James, that's kind of you.
You've introduced yourself? He told us he came to stop you killing off the local cows.
If the cows are like your two pigs it'd be the only thing to do.
- Nothing wrong with our pigs.
- Nothing that a good square meal wouldn't put right.
- Thank you.
- Right, Mr Farnon.
- There you are.
- No, no, no.
Oh, you're doing it, aren't you? - Are you all right? - Fine.
Sorry.
- Good evening, Mr Herriot.
- Oh, Mr Sharpe.
Good evening.
I don't pack a punch like my Violet when I shake hands.
This young man today met my Violet.
She's been going on three cylinders.
She don't like people taking liberties until she shakes hands.
She missed his hand and caught him in the bread basket! - You should have seen him! - She's worse than any bull.
No, it's just friendly.
It's just as well she aimed high.
You might have become the Dales' first gelded vet.
You can always tell an experienced vet.
He sets himself where the cow can't kick him.
- Hast thou worked on a farm? - Well, no, not exactly.
So all thy knowledge is out of books.
At college we practised on farms.
Aye, learning on some poor farmer's stock.
Under supervision, of course.
Will Mr Farnon be keeping his eyes on thee? - I'm now qualified.
- Oh, aye! Serve another one up.
Come on.
No, actually, I've Now, then, young man.
I've summat to tell thee.
I've been among beasts all my life.
I'll tell thee something.
I don't go with them chemicals but I know how to cure a beast.
- That's excellent.
- If I had time, lad, I could tell thee so many cures tha'd never believe it.
- Really? - I've seen a cow left for dead by a vet, not Mr Farnon, of course.
After just a touch of summat special, she walked away.
That's very remarkable.
Aye.
Many's the rogues that's trying to get the secret from me - but I keep it to mesen.
- They must be worth a fortune.
- Well, I must be off.
- Afore you go, young man, I'm going to tell thee summat as nobody knows but me.
I could have made a lot of money out of this.
Folks has been after me to tell them, but I never have.
It's t'cure for malanders and salanders in horses.
You can't mean it! Not malanders and salanders! I do mean it.
All you have to do is rub on this salve of mine and t'horse walks away sound.
And you're really going to tell me the name of this salve? I am, young man, but only on one condition.
Thou must tell no one.
Thou must keep it to theesen.
Then nobody'll know but thee and me.
Just thee and me, lad.
All right, I promise.
I won't breathe a word.
Marshmallow ointment.
Come on, James, time we were off.
Night, Ted, thank you very kindly.
- Evening, Charlie.
- Evening.
Thank you.
(Dogs bark) Come on, then, you lot.
Come on, then.
Come on.
That was a very good night.
- Glad you enjoyed it.
- I'll say I did.
This morning I was in Glasgow, out of college and out of work.
And tonight I'm in Yorkshire in a job.
I'm very grateful.
Not at all.
If you hadn't found that infected spot in the mare's hoof or gone back to that cow after she'd shaken hands you'd still be out of a job.
Thank you anyway, Mr Farnon.
Siegfried's the name.
Siegfried.
A nightcap, I think.
Hm.
Yes, it was a good night.
And pretty valuable for you, too.
Indeed.
I have to get to know the people.
No, I mean, er professionally.
Didn't you learn of a cure? For malanders and salanders? Ah, yes.
The panama hat.
He told me it was marshmallow ointment.
Yes.
Though come to think of it the panama hat did look like it had been eaten by a horse.
- Good health.
- Good health.
You know, the trouble is some of the time marshmallow ointment or panama hats or burying a dead cat at midnight would do just as much good as we can do.
- Surely there are new treatments.
- Some of them are damn good.
But you'll find time and again, you know exactly what the trouble is but there's nothing you can do.
Specific remedies, that's what we need.
Specific remedies.
Something we can give them that'll go right to the seat of the infection and kill it.
- Often we just don't have it.
- No.
And we need vaccines for all the common infections - tuberculosis, contagious abortion and so on.
Yes.
Our surgical methods are marvellously sophisticated.
It would astonish our fathers.
But we still need new vaccines and drugs.
Come on, then, baby.
Take horses.
I rather pride myself on being an expert with horses.
If you get a call to a horse, check with me first, will you? Hm? Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
What can you do about a bad laminitis? Keep them moving.
But that inflammation under the horn is the devil.
Why can't we give the horse something that will cure it? Like you can inject Arecholin for intestinal spasm.
I mean to say, I've always thought I'm sorry, James.
I'm rattling on and you must be dead beat.
Yes, we do need new vaccines for contagious abortion.
Time for bed, I think.
You've had a very long day.
Yes, perhaps we'd better.
What time in the morning? Small animal clinic, nine o'clock.
Very keen to build that up.
Right.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Sorry to trouble you.
- Where do I sleep? - Didn't Mrs Hall show you? No, she didn't know I'd be staying.
No, of course not.
Stupid of me.
- This way.
- Thank you.
Well, there you are.
I hope you'll be comfortable here.
I'm sure I will.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Well done.
James Herriot assistant veterinary surgeon in private practice.
(Knock on door) (Knocking) Good morning.
Do you want to see the vet? This way, please.
Thank you.
Now what have we here? Ah! A tortoise.
What's his name? Mr Tortoise, then.
And what's wrong with him? Is he poorly? We'll have a look at him.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Does he walk about? Perhaps he hasn't been walking about very much before.
Yes, he looks fit enough.
I'll tell you what.
You keep him in a warm part of the garden and next time you bring him in, you bring your mummy too, and she can tell me what's wrong.
All right? - There we are.
- (Mumbles ) Thank you.
Hello.
My God, you've got a job on here.
Will she ever go again, do you think? She'd better or you're gonna do a lot of walking.
- I'm going to do a lot of - You're to have this car.
This is my car? That's right.
Admirable little beauty, isn't she? Well, yes.
Yes.
Right, hop into mine.
You'll have plenty of time in that.
- I'll show you some more farms.
- Righto.
- How was morning surgery? - Not very busy, really.
- How many? - Only one.
We won't make our fortunes out of that one.
There's a great future in dogs and cats.
You mark my words.
- This was a tortoise.
- Oh! Sally Garth.
- Did she say anything? - Not a word.
That's Sally Garth.
She never does! - It's been a right warm day.
- Yes.
You can look forward to a nice, quiet evening.
Do you mind holding the fort alone tonight? I want to pop over and see my mother.
- Of course not.
- Good.
I'm sure you're dying to get started on your own.
There's plenty of time.
In any case, I started this morning.
Of course! You saved that tortoise's life! There'll be nothing this evening.
(Sings ) - Mr Herriot? - Yes.
Phineas Calvert for thee.
He's got a bull that sounds right badly.
Hello, yes? That's right, Herriot.
Well, I'll come out and see him.
Where are you? Yes, got that.
I'll come out as quickly as I can.
Wish me luck, Mrs Hall.
This one sounds really bad.
Here he is.
Cush, then, lad.
Cush, then, lad.
Cush, baba.
Cush, then, lad.
Poor bugger.
- Is there owt tha' can do? - We'll have to see.
He's a good bull and all.
Only started a couple of hour ago.
Since then he's got worse.
Much worse.
Puffing like a bellows, he were.
Bit like pneumonia, you know.
Worse 'un I've ever known.
He's in a hell of a state.
Dost tha' think he'll peg out? Oh, I'm sure he'll be all right once we find out what's wrong.
'Ee and he has cost me a lot.
I were expecting t'best cows ever out of this chap.
And he's as quiet as a sheep.
- Is it bad? - 110.
It's hard to believe.
- What is it, then? - Have you any sheep here? - Aye.
- Nothing wrong with them? No, nothing.
You passed them coming up, remember? - Are you thinking of anthrax? - I'm thinking of anything I can.
His breathing's so bad he can't swallow his saliva.
I hate to see him suffering like this.
Look, just tell me if you can't do no good, and I'll go get me gun out.
- This is his hay? - Aye.
He's suffering badly.
I'll go and get the gun.
I'll not let him suffer.
Has he been out today? Aye, he's been out on t'tether all morning, it was so warm.
Get that hose up here quick.
- Hosepipe? - Yes, as quick as you can.
He's got sunstroke! We have to be quick.
He could drop down dead at any minute.
Right, turn the water on, please.
All right, my beauty.
Cush, then, bull.
Good lad.
Cush, then.
That's it.
Cush, then.
He swallowed! Did you see that? He swallowed! Yes! I think he's going to be all right! Right, now you take the hose and I'll take his temperature.
Keep the water on his head and shoulders, please.
There's no doubt.
He's getting better by the second.
He is that.
It's 105.
Give me that.
Yes, we can leave him now.
He'll get out of the water when he's had enough.
- (Bull grunting) - Hey, now, lad.
He may not be dry any more, but by God, I am.
Come on, young man.
Mother! Get us two brown ales, lass.
- This here's Mr Herriot.
- How do you do? - Is t'bull better? - Yes, he's quite well now.
He had sunstroke.
Well, who'd have thought of it! Get us that ale, love.
By gum.
Well, I'll tell you, you right flummoxed me, lad.
I don't know what to say to you.
Good lass.
Thank you.
Thanks to this young man or we'd have had a dead bull.
- Cheers.
- Aye, cheers, lad.
At least me bill should be reasonable.
We only used cold water and I supplied that.
I shouldn't be too long.
I'll leave right away.
I'm sorry but I've got to go out again.
You can have your tea first! I've got to treat a horse with colic.
He's Lord Halten's favourite hunter.
Fickle things, horses' digestions.
Wouldn't want to put him down.
And what about your digestion? You've got to have your tea.
Pop it back in the oven, would you? I'll take it out when I get back.
Aye, well, when you get colic we shan't have to send to have thee put down.
- (Door slams ) - Tha'll just fade away.
- Mr Soames? - Yeah, I'm Mr Soames.
My name's Herriot.
- I was expecting Mr Farnon.
- He's with another client.
Clever man is Mr Farnon.
We're old friends.
Yeah.
Great friends.
I understand you have a horse with colic.
In there.
One of His Lordship's best hunters.
In need of expert assistance, I'd say.
How long has he been like this? It began with a bit of a bellyache this morning.
This fella's been giving him black draughts all day.
I wouldn't be surprised if he'd messed it up.
I got the draughts down him all right.
They're doing no good.
Call yourself a horseman? I should have done it meself.
He needs more than a black draught to help him.
You've done nothing yet.
You want to have a wash? I want to make a rectal examination.
I've never seen anything like this.
All right, go and get him his water.
Maybe we'll get something done.
God, it would be while Mr Farnon's away.
- This is no ordinary colic.
- What the hell is it, then? I have to examine him but continual severe pains could mean a torsion, a twisted bowel.
Twisted bowel, me foot.
He's got a bit of bellyache.
He just wants something to shift him.
Did you bring Arecholin? If this is a torsion that would be the worst thing for him.
It would drive him mad.
It contracts the intestinal muscles I don't want a bloody lecture! I want that horse cured! (Horse neighs ) Everything points to the same thing - a torsion.
All right, have it your way.
Just do something.
Are we going to stand here all night? There's no cure for this.
You must put him out of his pain.
No cure? Put him out of his pain? What are you saying? I suggest you let me put him down.
- What do you mean? - I should shoot him now.
I have a humane killer in the car.
Shoot him? Are you stark raving mad? - Do you know what he's worth? - It makes no difference.
He's been going through hell all day.
You should've called me hours ago.
- He may last a few hours more.
- (Horse neighs ) That's all.
And he's in continuous, agonising pain.
Why does this happen to me? His Lordship's away on holiday, otherwise he'd try to make you see sense.
Your boss would have given that horse an injection and he'd have been OK in half an hour.
Why can't we wait till Mr Farnon comes back, let him have a look! (Gunshot) Mr Farnon will carry out a postmortem tomorrow.
Lord Halten will have my diagnosis confirmed.
I'll inform His Lordship and Mr Farnon.
- Ring him up tonight.
- Yes, I will.
And I'll let him know what sort of assistant he has.
And I'll be at that postmortem and I'll see you proved wrong.
Then I'm gonna sue you!