Always Jane (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[soft dramatic music]
[Jane] I hope everyone could
have the experience that I've
had with my family.
I, uh God, I can't even
imagine what it would be like
without them.
My life would have ended up
in a much different direction
if I didn't have them.
It is my safe place. It is my
home,
and where I feel the
most comfortable.
I hope for a world where
being yourself is instantly
acceptable.
[music playing]
So this is my room.
Mirror. Gotta check.
I need to get my hair cut.
I have so many split ends.
Disgusting!
You see Youtubers doing this
crap.
That's not a good angle.
Okay, bye.
My name is Jane.
I'm a senior in high school.
My family is crazy, and loud,
and obnoxious, but
We're a family and at the end
of the day we're always gonna
be there for each other
no matter what.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
[Laura] I was a vegetarian,
please.
[David] That's what warned us
to Jane's girlfriends.
They're vegetarians and she
makes likes soups and stuff,
and I'm like, that's, that's,
that's chicken stock.
She's vegetarian. She's
like "Ah, she'll never know."
[Laura] They won't know they
are on day one again.
[David] You're sinister.
[Jane] My mom's name is Laura
and she is very loyal.
And she's always being
annoying, and over-stepping
sometimes, but it's only
because she cares.
Thank you for the eggs mom.
[Laura] You're welcome. Thank
you for cleaning the dishes.
Okay.
She's a mama bear. That's how
she describes it, but
I wish everyone had a Laura
in their life.
[David] That's it. She will
not move now.
[laughter]
[Laura] That's really pretty,
girl.
[Jane] My dad, David
He is honestly the best dad I
could ask for.
He is very funny and
embarrassing.
Is that you, dada?
[David] Yeah, hi honey.
[Jane] Are you pooping?
[David] It's really bad in here.
[Jane] Oh.
Hey
[Mae] Ugh!
[laughter]
[Jane] And Mae
She's the smartest one out of
all of us.
She has her moments where we're
just laughing so hard
that we can't even control it.
- That's gross
- Ow, fuck, Mae!
We put lash adhesive on
our lips.
I'm Debby Ryan now.
[Mae] Ew it looks like I got
stung by a bee.
[laughter]
[Jane] Emma, let me see yours.
Emma, she's my other sister.
She's the oldest.
And what can I
say about her
She's a bitch!
No, I'm kidding.
Am I gonna be famous?
[Jane & Mae] No.
[laughter]
She's in the Coast Guard
Academy.
Coast Guard Cutter Yeagan,
this is Coast Guard Cutter
Hamilton, over.
[Jane] She comes home
sometimes on weekends.
She's very much my like my dad
and my mom if they were like
mixed together.
She's very overprotective. She's
a very positive person
to be around.
[indistinct]
[Emma] You're overevaluating
food.
You're like this
"So, how is it?"
[Mae] You know what he does?
You know what he does?
He eats something and he sits
there like this
Yeah, why do you do
that? He does do that!
But then we're like "What
are you doing?"
And then he's like "I'm
feeling the food."
"I'm knowing the food."
[Jane] My grandfather, his
name is Gabriel.
Hi!
[Gabriel] Hi, honey.
- You want a new one?
- Yeah.
[Jane] We call him Jidu
because in Arabic
Jidu means grandfather or
grandpa.
[Gabriel] You sleep good?
[Jane] Yeah.
He just loves everything about
our family. He's so funny.
[Gabriel] I was a mason. I
became head of my lodge,
which became the master, the
master of the lodge.
They used to refer to me as
worshipful master.
My wife would tell me,
"Worshipful master, take the
garbage out."
I was born in Brooklyn. In
Methodist Hospital.
February 9th, 1929.
It's funny, before I married
my wife I wanted to buy
a Cadillac convertible. It was
between getting married or
buying a Cadillac. I got
married instead.
Best thing I ever did, because
she was a wonderful, wonderful
person.
I adopted my daughter Laura.
She was one week old.
And that's who I'm living here
with.
You couldn't ask for a better
daughter than Laura.
I think you're ahead of me by
one.
They take care of me like you
wouldn't believe.
I want to live long enough to
see my grandchildren grow.
Because I really am enjoying
them.
Bye, Jidu.
Bye.
I have about six more months
left before
my whole life is gonna
change.
I don't really talk about it
that much, but
like it's not a secret
that I'm trans.
And I don't really think it's
gonna be a secret
when I get my surgery.
So might as well be honest.
Going to school.
This guy has been
hitting me up.
I don't think he knows that
I'm trans.
As a transgender woman, in my
opinion,
for my own safety I tell them
before I go out with them.
Like three years ago I never
talked to anybody.
And I was like 15. I'm 18 now.
And I was like, so shy.
And I was like
I always felt like no one was
ever gonna love me
because of it.
Or no one would ever want to
even talk to me, not just love.
But like no one would ever
even want to like consider me.
It made me cry because I can't
really control that.
Like, it's how I was born, and
like, it's not the only thing
that's like that's not the
only thing that defines me.
But like, I'm not gonna lie
about it to someone.
Because like, that's just lying
to myself too.
But I don't know. Like, I'm not
worried about that.
I just like I don't It's just not the right time
for me I don't think.
My life's kinda normal. I go to
work, go to school. That's it.
[Jane] Into hell we go.
[Faith] Oh.
Look cute today.
[Lucy] Video me, but
not too close.
[Faith] I look like a circle.
- Wait put this forward
- First of all
- No, like come over here
- Wavy hair.
[Jane] Aim it at her.
Move the chair. Move the chair
up.
And then [inaudible]
Instead of going to my
district high school,
I went into a trade school. It
was just a relief to be able to
start over. And not have to
worry about people seeing me
change and make comments on it
and stuff.
So I just wanted a new slate,
and introduce myself as Jane
to my peers and everyone.
So yeah, I'm in my senior year
of high school now.
I do cinematography. We film
here.
Me and my friends are all
excited to just be, done.
We want to get out of here,
get into college and just
move onto something else.
We're tired of being in Sparta
and Sussex.
I'm gonna apply to SVA soon
and SVA is the School of
Visual Arts.
And it's based in Manhattan,
but they have schools all
around the world. Hopefully I
get in there.
So that's gonna be exciting.
And action.
How do you feel right now?
[Faith] About what?
Like about what?
[Jane] Like about everything?
I feel I don't know what
you're like, referring to.
Okay, what do you think
about me modeling?
I think it's a great
opportunity.
Why do you have to
talk like that?
Because I think it's a
magnificent opportunity for her
to do this.
Alright, restart.
Faith, why do you?
I think you can do
whatever you put your mind to.
- That's what I think.
- Alright
Are you homophobic?
I'm heterophobic.
I didn't talk to you
freshman year.
Yeah, you really didn't.
Because I was intimidated by
you.
I was like, "Her films are so
good and mine
are not that good."
[Jane] Films in general have
always interested me
and I was always trying to
be artistic in a way.
And this was always a way for
me to escape my reality
when I was younger, cause even
though I didn't know
I was trans, like I didn't
like my life at the time,
because I didn't know who I
was.
I was struggling a lot and I
think film was a way
to escape that.
[Faith] Jane wasn't very open
to us, me and Lucy
for a little while, but um
like we weren't gonna ask
or anything
- Like that wasn't our business.
- About being trans?
Yeah, like, that's not
my business and I didn't care.
When was it? Sophmore year,
Junior year? I don't know.
Get out of my way!
Earthquake.
[Jane] Are you excited to go
prom shopping?
You have to bring your
camera to that!
[Jane] Yeah, I am.
What are you looking for for a
prom dress?
Something that's gonna
wow all the bitches
in Sussex county.
[music playing]
That's my mom.
Hi, the world. What
are we doing today, Jane?
We're gonna go prom
dress shopping.
So, who are you going with?
There's no boy in the
picture.
I'm just, I didn't ask
if there was a boy.
You don't need a boy
to go to the prom.
I know. I'm just gonna
be going alone I guess.
Hanging out, having
fun, dancing.
[Laura] Pretty dresses.
Look at all the choices.
How do I zoom out?
What do you think?
[Salesperson] This is very
good material.
[Laura] You'll be a bride.
[Jane] Oh God!
Before, I never talked about
being trans with my friends.
Because I was so uncomfortable
with my body parts
and people knowing about that.
[Laura] What do you think
about that one?
[Jane] It makes my butt look
good.
Like if someone asked me if I
was trans I would be honest
but it just didn't make me
feel like a woman.
[Laura] Yeah, I
don't like that.
[Jane] And I hated
feeling that.
[Laura] That's a no from mom.
[Jane] I think I've learned
that it doesn't make me
less of a woman
for people to want to know
about my journey and
what I've been through.
I've had so many issues with
my body
and I'm just so tired of
hating it that I really
just wanted to choose to love
myself and be happy.
And not have anything hold me
back from that.
[Laura] Wow.
[Lucy] So, yes to the dress?
Is ten a lot? I'll do
eight.
[coffee dripping]
[Laura] People would say when
Jane first came out.
They would say to me. "Laura
you're like, such a cool mom."
I'm like, "Why am I cool mom?"
"Well you have a transgender
kid. That's so hip and cool."
I'm like what!?
I didn't know that, I didn't
know I was trendy, you know.
Thanks Jane. You know, but um
Like I don't know.
[David] The heck.
[Laura] What?
[David] She got two detentions
because of being tardy.
Did you know that?
No, why would I know that?
[David] Because we're her
parents.
[Laura] Why didn't you know
it?
[David] Well it was supposed
to channel through you to me.
[Laura] Oh, really?
I didn't get that memo.
[David] The gradudation is
scheduled for the 17th?
No.
- Surgery is the 17th?
- Yeah.
Oh, but the operation is, it's
the 17th?
[Laura] I don't think they
know about that.
Did you wanna talk about that
Jane?
[Jane] I don't care.
[Laura] So Jane is scheduled
to have her, um
How do you say it?
[Jane] Confirmation.
[Laura] Confirmation surgery.
On the 17th which is her high
school graduation date
so we're missing that.
So, a lot of stuff happening
at the Noury Household.
For the next couple of months.
[Jane] When I first came out I
told my mom I wanted
the surgery. Not everyone
who's trans has surgery. Like,
that's not a requirement when
you are trans. Like, you do not
have to go through a surgery
to feel "completed"
or to "complete" your journey.
So it's really up to you and
what you want and what you
feel is going to help you
minimize the dysphoria you have
with your body.
I know that this will make me
happy.
Today, like, a boy was asking
me, "I know you're transgender
but like, what did you look
like when you were a boy?"
I was like, "What do you mean
when I looked like a boy?"
I looked the exact same I guess,
I just had shorter hair
He's like, "Can I ask you a
personal question?"
"Didn't you have anything
done, cause like you're
transgender?"
I was like, "No I'm just a girl.
I didn't get anything done."
Being transgender does not
mean surgery.
That's a totally different,
like, conversation.
I don't want their first
question to be like,
"Oh, what's in your pants?"
Because it's just so personal.
That's what transitioning is.
It's whatever makes you feel
good about yourself
and what helps alleviate that
gender dysphoria and makes
you feel more the person that
you feel on the inside.
- It's scary.
- Very nervous.
And it was a long road getting
to this point you know?
Clearing her for surgery
but yeah, we're nervous.
[David] All the different
psychologists and therapists
that we've had to visit all
confirming that she needs this.
You know, for her to be happy
for the rest of her life.
- We support it but we're scared.
- Of course.
And it's an entire team
that you have to meet with
and uh, yeah, they scheduled
us, so
[David] And they have this
really graphic powerpoint
showing the process and look,
it's, it's
It's hard. It's hard to
It's not for everyone.
But they're showing all the
vaginas
and the room is silent and
Laura goes "Hey that's me!"
[laughter]
"I think I see me up there!"
[Laura] "What am I doing up
there?"
[laughter]
But it was like Emma, Jane, May,
me, David and we were all like
this looking at
all the vaginas.
[Jane] So embarassing.
[Laura] And you agreed David.
[laughter]
[Laura] Yeah, we're embarassing
wherever we go.
It's pretty funny.
A little piece
All of Jane's information
that I've been collecting
over.. Since she came out to us.
If anybody ever thinks that
this was an easy decision,
or that we were just like "Sure
Jane,
let's go, you know, have a sex
change. Whatever you want."
It wasn't like an overnight
decision.
It was years and years of
preparation.
Of legal papers.
Of therapy appointments.
There's one to give her
permission
Here it is. "This complies with
the student's ability to play a
sport of the affirmed sex. In
this case Jane would like to
play soccer."
Here's my girl, on the girl's
soccer team.
Living her truth and having a
great time at it.
[Jane] What about the modeling
thing? I'm really excited.
It's going to be so much fun.
Ready?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
[Faith] How do I do this? What
do I with my arms?
[Jane] Just move them.
I fucking hate you.
[David] It's hard to believe
that this all just came from
just sort of, like, you
just sending a headshot
and then
[Laura] I know! Like the
pictures that she was putting
on Instagram were just so
beautiful.
I just felt that I wanted to try
to submit to modeling agencies
and see where it went.
She always says that like "Oh my
God you can be a
model. You should be a model."
I'm just in high school and,
you know
I had I've had no
experience so maybe?
[Laura] We're going to
California
- I know.
- for this competition.
[Laura] Are you prepared?
[Jane] Probably not, I still
have to get a bunch of stuff.
What even is it? Like,
what's going to happen?
So it's a modeling
competition for 20 girls
around the world. It's a
global model competition.
It's for transgender models, and
we're all gonna meet in L.A.
and compete to sign with the
Slay model agency.
[Laura] Gretel.
[David] You're my true mother,
and I remember succinctly
being nestled gently
inside your womb like a little
Bratwurst.
[Lucy] I remember last year's,
um, English class.
We were talking about like,
transgender people.
My teacher brought up
She was like,
"Uh so you guys, like, know this
girl Jane?"
I raised my hand and I was like
"Yeah she's my best friend."
[Jane] Everyone from my old
school I don't talk to them
at all. It's just so awkward.
Like we weren't really friends
anymore.
- We haven't been here
- I'm surprised it's still
- in so long.
- up it's so old.
[Jane] I remember this being
so loud.
[swing squeaking]
[Lucy] Yeah, you always got
the one that squeaked.
[Jane] I wish it was sunny.
It's so much prettier
when it's sunny here. And like
peaceful.
[Lucy] Oh, I miss the summer.
[Jane] Do you miss anything,
like, about the old me?
Like, do you miss him in any
type of way?
Or do you think that nothing
ever really changed?
No, I feel like you're the same
still.
Cause I know like some families
are like, "I miss my kid." Like,
"I miss having my son
or my daughter back." Like, "I
want them back."
When really like, they're still
them.
But they're just changing their
gender. Like, that's it.
They didn't change
anything about them.
Just their appearance.
Oh, I'm so cold.
I need to start walking. It's
freezing just sitting there.
[Lucy] What about you?
[Jane] What about me?
[Lucy] Do you miss anything?
[Jane] About me? No, I mean I
miss I just pity my old self.
Because, like, I was just so
sad. Like, you remember
I remember calling you
- Yeah, I remember.
- I called you at night.
[Jane] Like, almost every night
just crying to you.
- You were always there for me.
- Yeah, you're a lot happier now.
[Jane] Yeah, I was depressed.
Especially, like
Yeah, it's like, 7th grade. It
was like the worst year.
[Lucy] You definetly love
yourself better.
[Jane] 7th grade was the worst
year.
[Jane] I don't look at my old
name as like,
something that was so foreign to
me.
Like an alien, or like something
that never existed.
I don't pretend like I didn't
exist before.
Because I was once a child who
was growing up as a boy.
Like, from zero to fourteen I
was growing up as a male.
And that's all I knew.
Seeing my little sister and my
older sister, doing painting
their nails and doing make up
and talking about girl things.
Like, I wanted to be part of
it,
but I felt like I never could
because I was on the other side
of being a boy and I didn't know
how to
express my emotions and feel
feelings like that because
I had to learn to be a girl.
I had to learn to do feminine
things and put on make-up
and buy clothes, girl clothes. I
was used to buying boy clothes.
And not getting ready all the
time and doing my hair.
I wasn't used to that stuff.
Wait, let me see first.
No!
No.
Not good.
[giggling]
Mae!
[Mae] Ew! Why does he look
like that?
Jane's friend likes a boy and
said boy is talking to Jane.
And Jane is not helping her
situation.
Because she keeps snapping him
back.
Okay, but we're It's
nothing though.
But you're snapping your face.
- I snap everyone.
- Face means you want to talk
- to him. That's Snapchat logic.
- So, what should I send?
Your forehead!
Talk to the forehead.
[Mae] When you send you face and
you smile where you're like
[Jane] I'm not doing any of
that.
[Mae] Yes, you are!
[Jane] I'm just doing
[Mae] That's what you do!
Yeah, it makes your nose
smaller.
[Jane] I don't inhale.
I just do I just lift my
eyebrows up.
[Mae] That means, "I wanna talk
to you."
[Jane] This?
[Mae] When you don't want to
talk to somebody, you have to
look a little bit ugly. So
that they don't talk to you.
I'm helping you here, and what
do you do? Ignore my advice?
There's no Okay, I'm
done. I'm done. Nothing.
You should be telling
this to him. Not to me.
That'd be so
[mocking noises]
[playful screaming]
[David] Jane, honey, I love you
but you have a responsibility.
You gotta go to work, honey.
You only got ten minutes.
[Jane] I'm going. I'm going.
[David] You still gotta get
changed. It takes 10 minutes
to get over there.
[Jane] Alright.
[Mae] You have to go to work.
[Jane] I'm going to hit you.
Again.
[indistinct]
[Jane] Love you. Bye.
[Mae] You'll have a great time.
Go make some memories.
[Jane] Shut up!
You are a bitch.
[music playing]
[Coworker] Oh, you do that?
[Jane] I do that. I just always
see people do that.
[music playing]
[Customer] When is this
modeling thing?
[Jane] Saturday, I go Saturday.
It's for a whole week. It
ends the
It starts the 8th and ends the
15th of February.
[Customer] Are you actually in
the show. You're competing?
[Jane] Yes. It's a competition
against 25 other girls.
Well, 24.
During her shifts, um,
she'll practice her walk. Um
I do, and then you yell
at me.
You're like, "Stop walking."
[Laura] You gonna let me win?
[Gabriel] Am I gonna let you
win? No.
You gotta earn it.
I like sports. I love sports.
That's what I watch on tv.
Baseball and football.
I'm a registered Republican.
This country was founded on
great principles,
and the Democrats don't follow
those great principles.
It's too bad.
But if a good Democrat came
along I'd vote for them.
I like I look at the person.
[Laura] Daddy, teach me the
moves in Arabic.
[speaks Turkish]
[Gabriel] That's Turkish, not
Arabic.
[Laura] We'll say it in Arabic.
What's that?
[speaks Arabic]
[Laura] That's shit, because
I've got nothing.
[speaking Arabic]
[Gabriel] I am very broad
minded. I am not a prejudiced
person either. I take you for
what you are.
Because that's the way I am. I
was brought up that way.
I have a lot to be thankful
for. I really do.
[Laura] I beat you.
[Gabriel] You beat me. She
beat me.
[Laura] Look in the camera and
say, "I beat you."
[Gabriel] Huh?
[Laura] Look into the camera
and say
She beat me, and I taught
her how to play this game.
You did not teach me!
But she's pretty good.
[ringing]
- Hey!
- Hey!
[Jane] How are you?
[Emma] I'm good, how are you?
I think I'm sick.
[Jane] Ew!
[Laura] How you doing, Em?
[Emma] I'm good. So let me ask
you a question.
I was looking at the website,
the Slay website, the other day.
This is like a competition,
right? If you win what happens?
[Jane] I'll be signed to an
agency
and I'll be able to get
jobs.
[Emma] Woooow!
[Jane] You're so dumb.
[Emma] If it's not meant to be,
it's not meant to be.
But I feel like it is.
[Emma] I go to the United
States Coast Guard Academy
in New London, Connecticut.
I try to go home to see my
family when I can.
[Laura] Everybody, when I say I
have a transgender daughter,
they say, "Oh the one in the
military, that Emma?"
[Emma] Yeah, like listen to
that.
I remember in high school I
was very protective over Jane.
Dealing with people not
being accepting.
And your crazy ass sister,
being like, "I'll hurt you."
[Jane] In front of the whole
school.
[Emma] I didn't mean to. It
was an accident.
[Laura] What did you do?
[Jane] Freshman year, one day
we had an activity where we
came into this auditorium.
And my therapist, my personal
therapist, came onto the stage
and was basically educating
everyone about the LGB
community, but mostly about
trans wellness.
And you know, all I wanted was
just to be in the shadows
and not be put
in any spotlight.
They only did this whole
seminar and like this whole
assembly because I was being
bullied.
All these seats were filled up
with all of my classmates
and, you know, freshman,
sophmore, juniors, seniors.
Like all the Most of the
school was in here with me.
[music playing]
[Jane] Right when she started
saying, like, "Does anyone have
any questions?" Like, that's
when I started losing my breath.
Because I was just waiting for
someone to say something
and, you know, freshmen year I
didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't want to be vocal
about it. I just wanted to
be a girl and nothing else.
Like I didn't want to be a part
of any conversation yet.
I was only a year out, like I
was still so new to everything.
One of Emma's classmates, who
was also a senior, he was a boy,
said something along the lines
of, "I think it's wrong"
um, "to be trans."
And, um like I get shaky
and I'm like lightheaded
talking about it right now,
but
I don't even wanna cry
it's so stupid, but
[Emma] They started saying
that it was a sin for
transgender individuals to
transition into another gender.
And that's when I started
getting angry.
[music playing]
[Jane] But yeah, he was um, he
said my name and he said um
"I know Emma's sister is trans."
and, um you know he looked at me
and Emma and he was.. Which
is you know, he can have his
opinions, like I'm totally
fine what that. Like, I get it.
But, you know, it just felt very
targeted and it's such a big
space, it was just a lot of
pressure and I couldn't
defend myself 'cause
I was just so scared to
say anything and I didn't have a
voice back then.
So Emma was my voice in that
situation, so I was grateful
that I had her there, but um
You can have your own
beliefs. That's fine.
You know, believe, like, what
you wanna believe.
I'll believe what I wanna
believe.
But the minute you start making
nasty comments
about my family, then there's
like, a problem.
[whispered] Oh my God, I'm gonna
get emotional.
Like, it made me so angry.
Why is it a sin? Because
someone wants to be
happy, you know? I raised my
hand and looked at him
and I was like, "How dare
you!
How dare you say that."
How in any way does her
transition affect you?
It doesn't.
[Jane] I just could feel
everyone's eyes on me.
Right when he said my name and
it was just everything that I
didn't want, so I just felt
frozen, and I couldn't breathe
or move. You know, being only
like 15, I felt like I had to
just sit here and hold my
breath and
wait for it to be over.
A lot of pressure.
[Emma] I sat down and I kinda
like, needed to breathe,
so I kinda got up and left and
I left Jane there and I was
like, "You're gonna be fine."
Then everyone was
staring at me.
[Emma] And everyone was
like, "Yes! Yes!"
[Jane] You mean everyone was
applauding for you.
Everyone was
applauding for you.
[Jane] Me being outed in front
of a whole auditorium is
is doesn't even is so
much doesn't even
match the day to day struggles
that make
being trans even harder. And
when it doesn't have to
be that hard. Like shopping for
clothes. That person
going into that dressing room
is That might be their first
time actually going out in
public and not doing this
behind closed doors where they
feel most safe.
Like, it's so noticeable when
people are judging you.
[Laura] Yeah, doesn't help
when someone is saying "chicks
with dicks" behind you
in the hallway.
Um, but could you tell us, like,
what we could have done
better.
[Jane] I think you guys were
amazing in everything you did
to help me and be there for me.
I couldn't have asked for
more.
You know, I think you guys did
a beautiful job.
[David] And your sisters?
[Jane] Not so much.
[laughter]
- No, they were the best.
- They were the best.
The first, um, prom Jane went
to,
we're putting these
dresses on Jane,
and Emma is getting
pissed off, because everything
looks fabulous on Jane, and Emma
is like "Let me try that on!"
And she's five feet tall and
she just was like
"I hate you." She's like "Put it
back on, you look better in it."
That was so funny.
I always looked up to
Emma.
Well, you know what
honey, we look up to you.
You're one of the bravest
people we know.
[Jane] Stop crying.
[Laura] I can't! I love you so
much.
[Jane] Drink your tea.
[Laura] I can't drink, I'll
cough. I'll choke.
It's okay when they cry.
[David] She cries over eggs.
[Jane] You cry
over everything.
[Laura] They were supposed to
be poached.
They were hard boiled.
Leave me alone. It was 20 years
ago and I was hungover.
[David] She cried and we were
in a restuarant.
We love each other more than
anything else. We do.
We're a very close knit
family, but even in that
tightness and that closeness, we
missed it.
Everything you planned for,
everything you thought that
your child's life would be, is
completely out the window.
And you worry. You're scared.
I'm so fucking lucky,
that I have my fucking parents
and my family.
It's just I feel bad sometimes.
Like, I feel like a burden
but, I know that they love me.
I'm just being emotional.
[tearing paper]
Hey!
[Laura] What does it say?
Accepted!
Yay!
Accepted into the School of
Visual Arts.
Yay! Aww.
Look at that. What
does it say?
Accepted Students Day.
[Jane] What I submitted for my
application to SVA, was a
whole compilation of all the
films I made in high school,
and I submitted that and I
wrote a whole long essay,
about my journey and being
trans
and wanting to work in the
film industry.
[Jane] I'll get to learn what I
like to do, what I love to do.
And I also want to do modeling
and acting.
Like I think I wanna keep my
options open, and I dont think
I wanna do just
one thing either.
What I most like about
modeling is
the fashion involved and,
so when I'm gonna be in L.A.
there's gonna be at least five
photoshoots. I believe. I don't
know the specific numbers.
And we're going to be doing
rehearsals for the show.
I haven't really
met a lot of trans girls.
That would be cool.
[Gabriel] This is my This was
our bedroom.
I love you. I can't ask for
better. I really can't.
So this was my wife's bedroom
and my bedroom.
And I had a son. I lost him in
an automobile accident.
That's John. He
was 22 years old.
That was my first tragedy.
Losing him.
I hope I make 92, I'll make 91
on the 9th of February.
I don't know why they got this
for me. I'm not gonna use it.
That's the plaque that's on the
moon.
I put a little arrow right
where my name is.
So I was in the aerospace
industry for about 42 years.
My big project was Apollo 12.
I signed the plaque which went
to the moon.
That plaque is still on the
surface of the moon with my
name on it.
I have a lot to be thankful
for. I really do.
That's it.
[Laura] Dad!
[Gabriel] Well, I have nothing
to complain about except
losing my wife. But listen,
nobody lives forever.
We were married 58 years.
[Laura] Jane first came out to
her grandma.
[Jane] Yeah, it was um..
[Gabriel] Didn't bother her.
[Laura] No.
[Gabriel] We're very broad
minded.
[Jane] I was in eighth grade,
when I came out to my grandma.
Um, yeah, um
[Laura] You texted her.
[Jane] I did, I texted her, "I
am transgender."
and he picked it up.
And then he said "What
is this? What?"
And then I ran and took the
phone from him.
And I took my grandma's hand
and I took her to her bedroom
and then I was, I showed her
the text
and she was like, "Okay wow"
she's like "Well at least like..
you said something." Like,"At
least you could be happy now."
"And I love you." And she
was just really there for me.
And then the next day I told you
and the day after that I told
everyone else, so
[Laura] And I blamed Caitlyn
Jenner and I said,
"Stop watching that show!"
But she didn't even know
what it meant.
She thought I was transvestite.
No, you meanTayta?
Yeah, Tayta thought
that.
Tayta was like, "Just wear
the clothes in the house.
Nobody has to know."
"Just wear the girl clothes in
the house. Shhh!"
"Don't worry. Lots of guys do
that. It's okay."
We knew. We knew
something was bothering her.
But she still wouldn't talk
about it and we didn't wanna
pressure her into it or corner
her.
[Jane] I was just struggling
'cause I didn't know anything.
I was, like, lost. I was just so
uneducated about everything.
Right, well we all were.
Yeah, I didn't know
trans was a thing.
[David] When Jane first came
out to the family it was a
Orthodox, causeJidu is
Syrian Orthodox.
And it was an Orthodox Easter
and Jane showed up and she was
stunning. She had her makeup
on. She had high heels. She had
a beautiful dress on.
But our families in Brooklyn
growing up, all of them
very, very close knit. Very
tight. Um, if I had to tell you
where they stood on
a political range
I would say everybody is right
in the middle.
The majority of people are
right in the middle.
They might lean right, but
everybody's in the middle.
And for the family to have
never seen her before
they had heard, now.
We had told everybody.
But to see her and to see the
look on everybody.
And how everybody swarmed her
and embraced her and hugged her.
And just the tears that were
in that room.
And I'm talking about, you
know, 60 people.
[Laura] I think I called every
gay cousin I had.
And they were like "Oh that's
beautiful."
I'm like, "What do I do?" "What
do I do?" "What do I say?"
"What do I say?" "Tell me what
not to say."
It was a scary time. I mean we
were just scared for you.
You know? "What if she changes
her mind,
this is just a phase?"
You know? Like just all these
things go through your mind.
Who's gonna follow her into a
parking lot and beat the crap
out of her? You know?
Those are real things that
happen everyday.
And you're scared to, you know?
And I can't follow you
to school everyday.
[Laura] From a parent's view
and I've seen it firsthand that,
um, parents make it about
themselves and not their
children. And, uh, I think you
have to
take a step to the side and
realize
it's not about you and it's
about somebody else's
happiness.
As a mom who has struggled
seeing the unhappiness in their
child
Worrying about suicide.
Going to bed wondering if I'm
gonna wake up to a child
who is not with us anymore.
And then like, just finally
coming to that breaking point
where she comes out.
And it's just it's almost
like um
a weight coming off of all
of us.
[David] And then everyone
would tell us, you know,
"Jane is lucky to have you guys
as parents,"
and I'm just saying well
We're lucky to have we're
lucky to be Jane's parents.
Nobody is exceptional for
loving your kid.
We're not exceptional. Jane,
you're exceptional.
[Laura] I want her to have it
all.
And she's gonna have it all.
Within time, she's gonna
have it all.
She's gonna have everything
she wants.
[Jane] I think my mom has
always wanted to support me
and really pushed me to do
better.
Because coming out I was very
shy. I was very closed off.
And I wasn't very confident
and she always noticed the
things I picked up on and things
that I was interested in.
So for her, like, putting me in
a competition.
Like, I would never be able to
do that myself.
[music playing]
[Jane] Today's the day!
We're going to L.A.!
I can't wait. I just
wanna have a lot of fun.
[Laura] She's always been
excited about L.A.
Even before all of this. She
always said she wanted to live
in L.A.
I'm like, "Do you even know
where L.A. is?"
I mean, like, who get to do
this? Not many people.
[music playing]