Arthur (1996) s01e01 Episode Script

1
# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet
- # Has an original point of view And I say, hey!
- Hey!
# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play
# And get along with each other
# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat
# Listen to the rhythm of the street
# Get together and make things better By working together
# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart
# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start
- # And I say, hey!
- Hey!
- What a wonderful kind of day
# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other
# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #
- Hey, DW!
- Hey
Oh
- (Come with me.)
- Why?
Sh! It's about our lost brother.
- We don't HAVE a brother.
- They're keeping him a secret. I've SEEN him.
Uh-oh - great(!)
Don't turn on
the light.
See?
I wonder where he went. Mom and Dad sold him or something.
- DW, that's ME.
- Is not.
- Is too.
- YOU wear glasses.
- That's before I wore glasses.
You were born with glasses.
You were only two years old then, so you probably don't remember
This quiz is to be completed in class. No talking!
- (That's a 7, right?)
- (No, it's a 2.)
- That's a 1?
- No, it's a 7.
THAT'S a 7.
No, Arthur, it's a 9. Stop bothering me!
Ahem!
These are your test results.
Anyone with four or more mistakes, see me later for extra homework.
- I guess math's not your best subject!
- I have a headache!
- Sometimes Francine gives ME a headache, too.
- Huh!
- Arthur!
- Got it!
No, I don't.
PEEP!
Come on, Arthur, you can do it!
- Aw!
- Oh, Arthur!
- I guess basketball's just not your sport(!)
- Girl:
- EGBD.
E, G ,B, D!
E, G, B, D.
Um
MP
7
RP
RO
It's not a 7. 8?
Huh?
# Arthur's in trou-ble! #
How do you get in trouble with the NURSE?
- What happened?
- I have to go to the eye doctor.
- What can you see?
- It's just blurry, Dr Iris.
- NOW what do you see?
- A giant worm!
Where?!
Hmm!
- That better?
- Yeah. I can read it all!
You just need glasses. That's why you've been getting those headaches.
You choose the frames you like.
Cool!
- Those are nice.
- Maybe I'll try something else.
Hey!
- There! Those look wonderful, Arthur!
- Very distinguished!
Really?
Look at that airplane way up there! Look at all the leaves on the trees!
Mom, you have grey hairs! Dad, have you always had bags under your eyes?
Wow! You look weird!
- You look different. You get a new haircut?
- NO!
Hey, Buster, look - Arthur's a four-eyes!
# Arthur's a four-eyes! Arthur's a four-eyes! # THEY LAUGH
Some people need glasses to see, Francine. Big deal(!)
- Hey, you guys, look - I'm Arthur!
- THEY LAUGH
Huh?
- I know - it's a new shirt.
- 'Fraid not.
- Waaah!
- Hmm?
- Arthur?
- Don't talk to me!
Well, it's better than being called Four-Eyes.
If I lose them, nobody can make me wear them.
I won't even know where they land.
Good riddance!
That's it, DW
- What are you doing with your glasses?
- DW took them. I got them!
Careful. Don't want them broken.
No, Mom.
- WHACK!
- OW! Er, ha-ha.
- Arthur, where are your glasses?
- I lost themat home, I think.
- It's harder than ever to see without them.
- Why not just wear 'em?
Don't need 'em! I know this school like the back of my hand.
Boys' room - third door. Right?
- Yeah.
- See? Why do I need them?
See you in class.
Oh! ..Well, the examination was better than I thought. Still
First door
second
third.
I said, "I'm not playing!"
Francine?
- What are YOU doing in here?
- This is the girls' room! Get out!
- EEEEK!
- A BOY!
- Get out!
GIRLS YELL
Get me out of here!
Oh, no!
I'll just have to get used to being a four-eyed weirdo.
'I'm Wilbur Rabbitt, and this is how we make the Bionic Bunny Show!
- 'Cut!
- Yeah, that's fine.'
Wilbur Rabbitt wears glasses just like mine?! ALL RIGHT!
- Old Four-Eyes is back.
- Hi, Francine!
- I know - you're wearing glasses!
- Yeah, I am.
Four-Eyes!
- Binky, did you know Wilbur Rabbitt wears glasses?
- Yeah, I saw it on TV.
- I didn't see that.
- It's great how they make him fly!
- Don't ask me to read you the questions. I need to concentrate!
- OK.
Look out, everyone, Arthur's got the ball!
THE KIDS CHEER
Very good, Arthur! All correct.
Arthur
How would you like to be on MY basketball team today? Like them?
- There's no glass.
- They're my movie-star glasses.
Don't they make me look beautiful? Wilbur Rabbitt wears glasses, y'know.
And his are just like mine.
..And since then, I always wore glasses. That solve your mystery?
I guess. But it's not as good as having a lost brother. Hey, look!
Who's this weird guy with Mom?
- That's Dad.
- Dad doesn't have a beard, Arthur!
Maybe Mom's divorced. I'm waking her up NOW and demanding an explanation!
DW! DW!
DW!
Quiet down. You may have heard Buster, turn around, please.
School pictures have been scheduled.
- Now?! I can't have my picture taken in these rags!
- Thursday afternoon.
That should give you time to change clothes(!)
There are a few things you have to remember about school pictures.
Not a good idea to drink six cans of soda then have your picture taken
BUUUURP!
..or rub your feet on the carpet and sit on a metal chair
or wear a flower if you're allergic.
AAAAAAAAAAAACHOO!
- One more out and we got 'em.
- We'll never do it. They're fourth-graders.
COME ON!
- The plan No matter what, get the ball to Francine.
- BREAK!
- Go, Arthur!
- Go on!
- You can do it!
You're out!
- Hooray!
- Well done!
- Yes!
- I've to get a new dress for picture day.
- I'll get new shoes AND a dress.
We beat the fourth-graders! I tagged them and we won!
So anyway, we should compare dresses to make sure we don't wear the same.
- What are YOU wearing?
- To what? School pictures.
Who cares?
- Not YOU, obviously(!)
- Francine could have the prettiest picture.
- Me?
Except for mine, of course.
- Ow!
- It'd take a lot of work, but you could be a whole new Francine.
We could even look like twins Maybe.
- Really? Nah!
- Leave it to me.
- I TOLD you I didn't have any dresses.
- What's that back there?
Put it on.
- I'll look stupid.
- Do you want a nice school picture or not?
Trust me.
See? It's perfect once you fix the little rip here.
Just have your Mom run a needle over that. And now for your hair!
- What's wrong with my hair?
- Huh(!)
- Close your eyes until I tell you to look.
- But
- Do it!
OK, you can look now.
- ARGH!
- I don't get it! It always works for ME.
Get me out of this!
Wait, I have an idea.
- Hello, Flossie? This is Muffy.
- Ooh! Muffy, my favourite little client!
Can I bring a friend to my appointment? She needs a special!
- You got it, kid!
- That's great! Thank you!
It's all set. Meet me tomorrow afternoon at the Salon De Beaute.
The what?!
- You didn't say it's a beauty parlour.
- Did you think it was a pet shop(?)
No way am I going in.
I knew you'd chicken out. Luckily, I brought my secret weapon.
Remember this? Last year's picture.
- Is THIS what you wanna look like?
- OK, OK, you win!
Ma fille! How positively brilliant to see you!
Eduardo, look who's here!
- Muffy!
- How fabulous!
- And what have we here?
- ..Francine.
Oh, that's right. Well, we don't promise miracles.
Not in YOUR price range, anyway.
This is our Queen Of The Nile look.
VERY popular. No?
Well, then, let's try for something more au courante!
- Don't you have anything more normal?
- If you insist Oh, just the thing!
I-I'll take that, I guess. Only, not too much hairspray.
You got it, kid. ..One prom queen to go - extra curls, hold the sauce!
FLOSSIE HUMS A TUNE
Now, ma cherie, you will rest - and wake up as the girl of your dreams.
DRYER SWITCHES ON
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've waited for. Let's hear it
for Francine Frensky!
APPLAUSE
Francine sports a brand new hairdo - the crowd loves it!
- Play ball!
- Behind the plate, she prepares for the opening pitch.
There's the pitch!
Huh? OOF!
- Eeooout!
- What a dazzling play by Francine!
The third inning. Francine runs to the outfield and returns the ball
to Arthur, who makes the catch!
Final play of the game Francine races to beat the ball, slides
and safe!
Her hairdo touches the plate just in time. What a game!
Francine. Francine?
So - what do you think?
- I knew it!
- Oh, if only she had hair like YOURS.
- It's great!
Wait and see how it looks with your dress.
There goes my new soccer ball.
Now
there are a few little things you should know about hair care.
- WHAT are you doing?
- Riding my bike.
I don't think so! Bicycles and curls do NOT mix.
See? I told you it was worth it. No swimming, no riding in convertibles,
and wear protective headgear in the rain.
-
- Honey? Arthur called. Tomorrow's kickball game - you bring the ball.
Oh, I forgot. Absolutely NO kickball.
- No way!
- And no lying down!
- I can't do this. There's too many rules.
- Remember my secret weapon? Well, then?
- OK.
- Like it?
- No.
- I wasn't asking YOU.
- Well, it's
- ALIVE(!)
Just pretend you don't see them. Boys ruin everything!
Incoming! (..Was it an accident or does she look like that on purpose?)
A combination of gravitational pull and stress on the hair follicles(!)
- You're gonna get it!
- Francine, calm down.
Aw! Now look what you did!
- There, you can't see a thing.
- Yes, you can. It's all over
- Ahem!
Now, if you stay still until picture time, everything will be fine.
- Can't play?!
- You heard her. She can't mess up her hair.
- Why?
- I have to keep it nice for school pictures.
- It's the fourth-graders!
- They'll KILL us now.
- Good! ..No slouching.
Good posture is the key to beauty.
- She's lost her mind.
- And WE'LL lose the game.
Who needs her? We're just as good.
Hey!
Can I help you find the ball(?)
- Come on, guys, get up!
- Sit down!
It's 1-0.
- 2-0.
- You have to get used to this, Francine.
If you wanna look nice, no kickball.
It's just a silly game. Why run in a circle and get your shoes dirty?
- She caught it - and YOU'RE out.
- She wasn't even playing!
Know there's a poodle on your head? Yeah, and it does tricks! Watch!
Safe!
- How could you?!
- I'm sick of being perfect.
Besides, I like the way I used to look.
Next!
Remember me? I'm the one who burped.
Next!
- Listen. Don't go in. You'll regret it forever.
- You're making it worse.
Next!
Next!
Oh, that Francine!
Like my father says, you get what you pay for.
If I were YOU I'd burn those, and quick.
I sort of LIKE them. See this smudge? I got it sliding into home!
- Hey, want to trade?
- Hers didn't come out. Technical difficulties.
- I'll trade if you promise not to laugh.
- I won't if you won't.
- OK.
- I like it. Looks just like you.
- So does yours.
I give up, Francine Frensky!
I'm sorry to say you'll NEVER be like me.
- Kickball?
- You bet!