Austin and Ally s01e01 Episode Script

Hey, Ally, guess who got a job at cupcake city.
Thanks, Trish, but there's no eating in the store.
But I do like cupcakes.
Gimme that.
Yeah, they give us all the rejects.
That one I dropped on the floor.
That's what I get for breaking the rules.
Hey, do you want to go to a movie Sunday? Oh, I'd love to go to the movies.
Oh, um, great.
Because you're exactly the person I was asking.
- It's a date! - Can't wait, lady-I've-never-met.
- Oh, where'd you go? - I was on the phone.
That was work.
Apparently "being there" is part of the job.
Gotta go.
Hey, Mr.
Dawson.
Guess who found 37 more cents.
Dad, stop taking money out of the mall fountain.
Those are people's wishes.
My wish came true.
I have 37 more cents.
Well, speaking of wishes: Dad, is there any way I could put a piano upstairs in my practice room? The one I'm using is older than the lady I'm dating Sunday.
Long story.
Honey, I know you love music, But the odds of making it in the music biz are like a bazillion to one.
C'mere.
Boom! And action! Did you not see the "please do not play the drums" sign? It's okay.
I'm an awesome drummer.
What you just said has nothing to do with what I just said.
- Are those corn dogs? - Mm-hmm.
Ew.
Do you know how dirty these drums are.
And how unhealthy corn dogs are and there's no food allowed in here? I'll handle this, Austin.
Ma'am, we are making a music video.
I am the director, although I prefer the term filmmaker.
And cut! We're gonna need a lot of instruments.
I can play anything Piano, drums, guitar, harp.
I can even play a trumpet through another trumpet.
Okay okay, well, I can play a harmonica through a sousaphone.
Prepare to be heimliched! Here's the thing about the instruments - You don't have any money.
- What if I pay you back when I get rich and famous? Great! Just have your Butler fly over on your private jet.
- And drop off a sack of shiny gold coins.
- Really? No.
Got it! Whoo! when the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
you don't know know know my name name name I'm gonna make make make you do a double take .
How long have you been standing there? I was wondering if I could get a discount on this harmonica.
You know, because it's been in the old lady.
Uh, this is my private practice room.
Did you not see the "keep out" sign? Hey, I liked that song, but if you want to make it really catchy, You've got to speed it up.
you don't know know know my name name name I'm gonna make make make him do a double take .
Cool, there's still some old lady spit in here.
Ew.
Goodbye.
And in the future.
Please obey signs.
Guess who got a job at the magic store! What about your job at cupcake city? Apparently being a horrible employee is grounds for termination.
Isn't that shocking? Magic shock finger.
Ooh, I'd better go.
I started my five-minute break two hours ago.
they want to know know know your name name name - Wait hey! - They want t g girl girl girl with the game game game.
.
Where did you hear that song? - It's all over the Internet.
- The Internet? Uh, that place people go on their computer.
- To look at stuff and shop.
- Okay, I know what the Internet is.
You seriously haven't seen this video? Here, look.
flip a switch, turn on the lightning get it right, show 'em how it's done free it up, no matter how you dress that song girl, you know, you got a number one go with it, you've got him where you want him drop the beat, they need to hear your sound play it up, it's coming down to you right now they want to know know know your name name name they want the girl girl girl with game game game and when they look look look your way way way you've got to make make make 'em do a double take make 'em do a double take uh .
It all started with a homemade video and a catchy song.
Two million hits later, Austin moon is a genuine.
Overnight Internet sensation.
It wasn't exactly overnight.
It was more like over Two nights.
How did you come up with your hit song? It just came to me.
What up, Dez? you've got to make make make 'em do a double take.
.
What up? That's my song! How could he just steal my song like that? - He messed with the wrong girl.
- That's right.
Get angry! Me likey.
There.
Allycat88 doesn't like this video! Takehahat, Austin! Whoo! - Yeah! - Calm down before you type a frowny face.
And really hurt his feelings.
Come on, we're gonna give him a piece of your mind.
- All right, let's go.
- Yeah! Sorry.
Magic shock finger.
- I just need to find out where he lives.
- Uh, the Internet? - You know, that place where - I know what the Internet is.
Faster faster, slower Faster faster! Hey! It's Ally from the music store.
Hi, I'm Trish.
Big fan.
Sorry.
Look, I'm here to what are you doing? I'm making my own cologne.
It's called "austin.
" Austin, Austin, Austin.
The secret ingredient is my sweat.
Wanna try some? I don't like you.
Since Austin's famous, We figure people are gonna want some Austin merchandise.
Here's some stuff we've come up with.
- Austin - Lunchbox.
- Austin - Pillow.
- Austin - Peanut butter.
- Chunky - Or smooth.
Mmm.
An Austin action figure.
I'm awesome.
I like pancakes.
It's true I do like pancakes.
what up? .
And my personal fave, The Austin foam spitter.
Why would anyone need a foam spit Hi.
Wow! A magic shock finger.
Me likey.
Look, I'm not here to see your junky Austin junk.
You stole my song.
You heard me playing it at the music store.
That's where the song came from? I thought I made it up.
Oh, I guess that makes more sense.
Since I've never actually written a song before.
I've tried, but they're all terrible.
I wrote that song and you have to tell everybody the truth.
I can't! Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me? Consider my feelings.
Are you really that selfish? So based on that ridiculous response, I'm guessing you're really not gonna do anything? No no, I want to make this right.
How about.
A life-size chocolate Austin?! what up? .
Is that milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Trish! Tonight on "the Helen show," Overnight Internet sensation austin moon, live! That's right! Live live live! I am so sick of that guy.
I'm so talented! - How can he steal my song like that? - I'm an overnight sensation.
- Stop pulling that string.
- I'm unstoppable.
Ha ha ha ugh.
Hey, he's gonna be on "the Helen show" tonight, right? I say we crash his interview and tell the whole world the truth.
On live television? In front of people? I can't do that.
You have to! That guy's a lowlife song-stealing thief.
they want to know know know .
It's a catchy song.
That's it! Dad, I'm taking my break.
I've got to go interrupt a live television broadcast.
Okay, have f!! C'mon, Trish.
We're gonna be the surprise guests on today's "helen show.
" they want to know know know - Do you want to get that? - No, it's just work.
Oop! Okay, the onlyhihing standing between us.
And telling the world the truth about Austin is that guard.
The trick is to act like you're supposed to be here.
You gotta exude confidence.
Can I help you ladies? No! Yes, we're looking for the kitchen.
Or bathroom! We're friends with Bernie.
Or Lulu? We're going to "the Helen show.
" We're musicians in Austin moon's band.
Look, you austies have been trying to sneak through here all day.
He's dreamy.
That song'cacatchy.
I get it.
Sorry, ladies.
If your name's not on my list, You're not getting in.
Did we say musicians? No, see, I meant.
Magicians! Bad liars Pretty good magicians.
Hey, welcome back.
Our next guest is overnight Internet sensation Austin moon! - It's go time.
- I can't do this.
There's a stage out there.
You know I have stage fright.
I know it's scary, but you can do it.
I'm here for you.
You just take all the time you need.
- Thanks, Trish.
I really appreciate - Time's up.
Hold everything! We're here to tell you the truth.
That guy is a weasel! And not like a cute weasel you'd want as a pet.
More of a lying evil weasel who steals music! He's never even written a song.
Because he can't! And This isn't "the Helen show.
" This just in.
"theelelen show" tapes next door.
know know know your name name name they want the girl girl girl with game game game when they look look look your way way way you gotta make make make 'em do a double take.
.
So we are out of time.
- Oh.
- It's too bad 'cause we would love to hear you do another original song.
Darn! I've written so many songs.
I wish you had more time.
How about you come back tomorrow? Tomorrow? - Yeah.
- Another original song? - Uh-huh.
- By tomorrow? That's what I said.
- Um um, I - Oh, come on.
You don't want to let down all your fans.
Right, austies? Yeah.
Um, okay.
- Tomorrow it is? - Oh, you heard it right here, folks! Austin will be back tomorrow to do a new original song! Yes! Guess who got a job at the pet store! Roof roof meow! You didn't even work at the magic shop two days.
That's gotta be a new record.
I plan obebeing better at this job after this.
Has anyone seen a giant snake about yea big? Oh, he's probably not poisonous, But there's a really good chance that he's totally poisonous.
- Ally, I need your help.
- Speaking of giant snakes.
- I need a new song by tomorrow.
- Ha! Why don't you just write a song? You know I can't.
I've tried.
Listen.
I need a song, it can't be too long song song song song song song song song song song song song song.
I wrote that last part.
Okay, uh, how about this? I'm not helping you with your song get out of my store.
- That doesn't rhyme.
- There's the door.
.
That's better.
I know you're mad.
I didn't mean to steal your song.
Then I acted like a weasel.
Not a cute cuddly weasel, But a jerky no-credit-giving weasel.
I'm sorry.
Who am I kidding? My dad always said music was a waste of time.
He said I had a bazillion to one chance of making it.
That's exactly what my dad said to me.
Do you know what my dad said to me? "dez, stop texting the dog!" I guess my 15 minutes of fame are over.
I just wanted to prove my dad wrong.
Austin, wait! I'll help you write one more song.
- You will? Yes! - Whoo! - Thank you, thank you! - But first you have to do something for me! Anything.
Name it.
Uh uh, I want a a I I want a a ham! - Did you just say a ham? - Apparently I did.
Here, you can give her my ham if you want.
Okay, we have 18 hours.
To write the greatest song ever.
Go! Oh, um, it's not that easy.
I'll get you started.
There.
That's the first note.
That helps, right? Gee, are you sure you've never written a song before? What do you normally do? Well, there isn't a "normally.
" Sometimes I get a tune in my head.
Sometimes I think of a lyric and write it down.
Never touch my book.
- What do you got? - Okay, um "the tears of your heart cry " - Too depressing.
- Okay.
- "the midnight sadness " - That's even more too depressing.
This song should be fun, like a splash of sunshine.
You're like a drizzle of darkness.
We need to get you to relax.
You know, get your creative juices flowing.
- Shut your eyes.
- I'm not going to shut - Just shut your eyes.
- Okay, I will.
Don't touch my book.
Okay.
Imagine you come home.
And your living room is just full of cheerleaders.
Uh, that's not really my idea of fun.
Okay, pretend you're on stage performing Oh, no way.
I have horrible stage fright.
Then imagine you're on the beach.
Ugh.
Sand's getting everywhere.
Ew, is that guy really wearing a thong? Okay, forget the beach! What do you like? - I like pickles.
- Great.
Pretend you're eating a Pickle.
- There's no eating in the store.
- All right! Why don't we try this: I'll close my eyes and you tell me to imagine stuff.
Okay, Imagine I'm giving up.
I quit.
Got it.
Are there cheerleaders there? Austin, what I'm saying is.
Maybe we should just forget this whole songwriting thing.
Whoa whoa.
Not so fast.
- Okay, almost there.
- Uh, what are you doing? Funning you up.
Oh yeah! No, I don't We're gonna dance! No thanks thanks.
This is silly.
See? It's fun.
- Ally, so, like, you can do it.
- Come on, let's groove.
- C'mon, let's go.
- Okay.
Whoo Whoo! - There, I'm dancing.
- Are you sure? - That was like the worst dancing I've ever seen.
- That is pathetic.
Okay, fine.
Whoo! What up? I-I I think it worked.
I feel fun.
I feel like I could do anything.
Watch, I'm gonna do a cartwheel.
I can't do a cartwheel.
Well, don't waste the creativity.
Come on.
Let's write a song.
whoa-aa yeah-hhh stop hiding out in the shadows scared to show the world you exist don't lock yourself in the darkness the world is so much brighter than this yeah, if you never take a shot you're never gonna win so turn it all around and break down the walls whoa-aaa come on and give it everything you can take a chance, make a stand and break break break down the walls whoa-aaa break down the walls whoa break down the walls whoa come on and take a chance, make a stand and break break break down the walls break down the wall.
- It only took all night, but we did it! - Whoo! - This song is awesome! - Okay well, you'd better hurry.
You only have one hour to get to "the Helen show.
" You mean we'd tttter hurry.
I want you to be there with me.
Really? You mean it? I wouldn't be going on "the Helen show" at all if it wasn't for you.
- Thank you.
- Oh.
Oh, uh - Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
- We did it! - We finished it.
We knew you could do it.
Here, we got you this.
Guess who got a job at the mug store.
"congrats, we knew you could do it.
" aw, thanks.
We also got you this one.
"sorry you failed.
You did your best"? Well, we got you two mugs just in case.
Dez wasn't supposed to show you that one.
- Come on, we've gotta go.
- I'm going to "the Helen" Let's go! Up next, Austin moon's brand-new song.
Millions of people are about to hear my song.
It was so worth quitting my job at the mug store to come here.
Ally, the piano player's sick.
You have to play piano for me.
Uh uh, I can't.
I can't go out there.
You know I have stage fright.
What if they turn off all the cameras.
And everyone in the audience goes like this? No! No way.
I can't do this.
No, it's really easy.
Just go left and then right.
Left and right.
That's it, that's it.
Look, it's like you say in the song: Take a chance, break down the wall.
- I'm sorry.
- Wait! I have the perfect solution.
Okay, everybody, we're back in 30 seconds.
See, Ally, nobody can see you.
It's just like you're not on stage.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out here.
You're gonna be great.
Trust me.
Hey, welcome back.
And here to sing his brand-new original song is.
Austin moon.
Thank you.
This song was written.
By an incredible songwriter, Ally Dawson.
She kind of wrote my first song too.
Ladies and gentlemen, here she is.
See, you're facing your fear.
That was my plan.
You're welcome.
L-let's hear it for lyly, everybody.
How was your date with that old lady? She slept through the whole movie.
I had to explain the whole thing to her on the bus ride home.
My practice room? What is all this stuff? What are you guys doing here? Pickles! But look at that piano.
I used the money I got from being on "the Helen show" to pay for all this.
I I can't believe you did this.
- Thank you.
- I figured we'd be spending a lot of time in here, So we should probably make it as comfortable as possible.
Uh we? I want you to be my partner.
Spend more time with you? You're a songwriter with stage fright; I'm a singer who loves being on stage.
We're a perfect match.
What do you say? We're partners.
Guess who got a job as Austin's manager.
She has so much job experience, her resume was like eight pages.
Oh, I promised his fans.
We'd have new songs up on the website every Friday.
Oh, I don't work fridays or other weekdays.
We have to write a new song every week? Trish, for the first video, I need 10,000 monkeys and a big wedding cake.
You can have a turtle and a donut.
I already have that.
Aw, man! My video just got bumped to number two.
- What's number one? - You on "the Helen show.
" Hey look, they're even showing the part where you threw up on Helen.
You're famous thanks to me.
Thanks to you.
Well, let me show you something.
Here you go.
Oh, me too, me too!