Ballers (2015) s01e01 Episode Script

1 Now tell me how you love it You know you at the top When only heaven's right above it We on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with the Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Holly Grove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slum Dog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls are down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I be sippin' so this shit is movin' kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
synced and corrected - (men shouting) - (whistle blows) (grunts) (sighs) (man shouts) - (groans) - (knee cracks) (crowd cheering) (music playing) Every man has a place In his heart there's a space And the world can't erase his fantasies Take a ride in the sky On our ship fantasize All your dreams will come true right away (laughs) Baby.
I love you.
Hell, yeah, you do.
Love you, too, girl.
- Do you really? - Yeah.
- Are you sure? - Why you always ask me that? - You ask me that a lot.
I do.
- How much? Got to quantify every damn thing, huh, baby? Maybe I just like to hear you say it.
- Maybe I'll just say it again.
- Okay.
I love you.
Bring it in here.
More than anything, baby.
More than football? More than ball.
Come on, now.
More than your Rookie of the Year trophy? - Fuck that trophy.
- All right.
How about that Super Bowl ring? It's just jewelry, baby.
So you would do anything for me? 'Cause, baby, you know I'd do anything for you.
Even kill myself.
Yup, absolutely anything, baby.
Even leave your wife? - You motherfucker.
I knew it.
- Hey, relax.
You told me you were separated.
Well, stop labeling every damn thing because you don't have to.
You lying piece of shit.
I checked.
Ah! Come on! Hey! Fuck! Ah! Oh, shit! (tires squealing) - (woman screams) - (crashes) Walk in the road of ecstasy The one thing I did know is that he loved his family more than anything.
Tina, you meant the world to him.
I remember my first game starting at defensive end.
It was it was at the old Giants Stadium and the wind was blowing and we were down by a field goal.
I read a screen pass and I dropped a game-winning interception.
And I could feel Rod's Darth Vader stare.
He looked at me, he said, "You do that again, you'll be bagging groceries.
" The very next play, he jumped the route, took it right to the house.
Saved my ass that day.
- How fucked up was that? - Man, you know what was fucked up was that shorty in the front row.
- You saw that? - Seen what? Hell, yeah.
She was a straight up freak.
Why do I always miss the freaks? Rod would have loved that, huh? God works in mysterious ways.
What do you say we honor my man's life by going out tonight? What are you thinking? Story? It was Rod's favorite spot.
- Am I invited? - "Am I invited?" I didn't want to be assumptious.
- Listen to this.
- I'll see y'all later.
So should I grab some of these funeral hos? Watch me work.
Watch me work.
Hello, hello.
All right.
Y'all look happy to see me.
I'm sorry.
I completely understand.
No, you really don't.
Do you know he didn't leave a will? No life insurance either.
Just Roddney being Roddney.
I miss the man already, but how long you know about that bitch Kim? I didn't know her much.
I never hung out with them.
Oh, stop with the lies, Spence.
Okay, at least tell me how I can help.
Start by helping yourself.
- Myself? - Yeah.
After Rod stopped playing, he had no idea who he was.
Identity issues.
Look, you a grown-ass man.
So go out there and figure your shit out.
I got a handle on that.
Is that what you tell yourself? I'm good.
(chuckles) - I get a good feeling - (phone buzzing) When I see you That's why I want you The way that I do Big Time.
Where the hell were you today? - Huh? - Did you hear about Rod? Oh, yeah, yeah, that.
Right, man, I'm sorry I couldn't make that, man.
I'm in a spot.
I need some gap cash short term.
You know, for rent and things.
Spencer: How the fuck is that even possible? You know how it is, I got a big family, lot of friends, too.
They need to eat.
Spencer: All right, how much you need? Just 300 grand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
$300,000? You signed for 12 mil out of school, Vernon.
You know how it is, man.
You spend the rookie deal, save the next.
You telling me the whole story right now? You know I'd do anything for you, right? But you've got to be straight up with me.
I need the whole story.
Man, I'm gonna call you back.
I'm gonna call you back.
Vernon.
Vernon.
Spencer.
Mi amigo.
Andale.
Man, that was some funeral, huh? Hope that many people show up when I die.
(laughs) Some hot snatch there, too.
Did you get any leads? Joe, it was a fucking funeral.
All right, tackle the messenger, why don't you? I'm just saying I've done some of my best work at funerals.
You want to know why? Because people are thinking.
People are thinking I could have done stuff differently.
I wish I'd known my mother.
I wish I'd taken care of my grandmother better.
I wish I had a financial manager to manage my finances.
Stuff like that.
- Come on, show some respect.
- I'm sorry, you're right.
It's just that I'm getting a lot of pressure from upstairs.
You know, and I don't mean God.
They think I hired you because you were on my fantasy team.
You played defense for crying out loud.
I'm gonna play in an IDP league? That's for suckers.
Look, there's gonna come a time, because you've been here a year now, where you're gonna have to Monetize my friendships, right? Yeah, but the way you say it, you know, "monetize my friendships," it makes me sound like an asshole.
And I'm not.
You know me.
(sighs) I hired you for access.
For your friends.
For players.
Even the ones you hate.
I don't care.
I don't care who it is.
I don't care who they played for.
What about Roddney, huh? He probably could have used your help.
Can we manage his estate at least? There is no estate.
Tina was left with nothing.
(sighs) Wow.
You're kidding me, right? No.
Who dropped the fucking ball there? Huh? Who? You did.
is of a believer who's actually connecting to the spiritual world.
Baby, you still haven't moved? - I'm mourning.
- Really? Dr.
Oz says people deal with grief in their own individual way.
I'm gonna give you a pass today, but tomorrow your ass is out looking for a job.
Seriously, baby, do us both a favor and learn something from Roddney's life.
What do you want me to learn? When you have too much free time on your hands and you fuck groupie whores, you end up dead.
Baby, you playing right now or are you serious? (music playing) For sure.
For sure.
Hey, DJ.
Oh, what's up, Spence? What's up, baby? It's good to see you, brother.
You know my boy Antonio, right? I got to ask who's the most dangerous weapon in the league? - Serious? - What type of question is that? What you guys doing here tonight? - You heard about Roddney? - Yeah, I did, man.
Tragic, man.
I'm sorry to hear that.
- We here to celebrate.
- We have good reason to celebrate.
- It's Brittney's birthday.
- My 25th.
- Man, serious question, bro.
- Yeah? How you like work in the office? I know you miss playing ball.
- You Warren Buffett yet? - No, far from it.
Far from it.
Trying to be.
Whoa, whose Bentley? I know this ain't a rental.
Jackpot just caught that.
- You paid cash? - COD all day.
- Cash on delivery? - Why not? First piece of free advice.
You got to listen, y'all make millions.
- Never buy a depreciating asset.
- Okay.
If it drives, flies, floats or fucks, lease it.
Let's go have fun.
I bought a real elephant.
What do you mean? You mean like a toy.
No, no, no.
$265,000 I paid for this elephant.
- What is wrong with you? - Plus tax.
(music playing) - Hi.
- Hey.
- I'm Dashi.
- Charles Greane.
Who do you play for, Charles Greane? I used to play for the Bucs.
But I'm retired now.
Haven't really figured out my next step yet.
- I'm still contemplating.
- Bye.
Didn't Rod meet Kimmy here? And Tina.
(laughs) He had a thing for bottle service girls.
Who the fuck doesn't? Think it's the uniform? No, it's they're hot and you're drunk.
Hi, I'm Dashi.
Ricky.
What do you do? I'm in branding.
- She's in branding.
- How about that? (moaning) (loud moaning) Hey, come on, you son of a bitch.
Hurry the hell up.
Ricky: Oh, shit.
Oh, oh, my bad.
My bad.
Oh, shit, you're Ricky Jarret.
Yeah, man, I used to watch you and your boy Roddney play at SC.
Oh, yeah? You a Trojan fan, too, huh? - Hell, no.
Fuck the Trojans.
- All right.
So, wait.
Hang on.
I guess the rules, they don't apply to you, huh? You guys with your fucking self-entitlement.
Y'all ain't nothing but a bunch of selfish, womanizing assholes.
You know what I mean, player? No, I don't know what you mean.
Come tell me, big country.
Why don't you ask your boy Roddney? (grunts) Why don't you ask him, punk? What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the truck.
Get the truck.
You a SC fan now, ain't you? - Hey! Hey! - You love SC.
- No! No! No! - Fuck that! Fuck that! Come on outside.
Bring his ass outside.
Yeah, bye.
Get ready to break out the checkbook.
He had that shit coming, man.
Call your agent.
Call Jason now.
Where the fuck is Charles at? Call Jason.
Who's gonna win the LPGA? Who's gonna win the LPGA? - (phone vibrating) - You are? - Who? - You are.
Fuck! Jesus.
(sighs) - Ricky.
- Jason.
What up? - Got a little situation.
- Another one? How little? I let some punk-ass frat boy incite me, so I dropped him.
Oh, fuck.
Why'd you do that? Why do I do anything? Shit just happens to me.
All right, well, I'm sure you had a good reason.
Let me get on it, but in the meantime, don't talk to anyone.
Lay low and I'm gonna call you first thing, all right? - Let's go.
- Bye, Jason.
- Get in there.
- Oh, man.
Get the fuck in the car, come on.
Jason took care of it, baby.
Jason took care of it.
Jason's taking care of it.
We're good.
We're good.
We're good.
- Yeah, we're good.
- We're good.
Of course his life is hard.
His name is JaMarcus.
Hey, let me call you back.
Here comes my favorite ex-client.
(laughs) You better say that.
Damn living legend.
I'm setting up a pro day.
Do you ever stop selling? But you look like you could still play.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
So you handled that Ricky situation? (sighs) I already spoke to the GM.
We're fucked.
They're trying to move him.
That quick? Yeah, well, shit's changed.
- He's trending.
- Yeah, in the wrong goddamn direction.
All right, I'll give him a call.
See if I can straighten his head out.
In the meantime, did Vern hit you? Yeah, he left me some cryptic message.
What's up? Well, he's broke as a motherfucker, that's what's up.
- And he needs a loan.
- Not surprised.
You know his childhood friend Reggie handles his money.
Fat Reggie from Crenshaw handles his money? Yeah.
Thinks playing Pop Warner together makes him E.
F.
Hutton.
God damn.
How could you let that happen? What, like I had a choice? How did you let that happen? I'm trying to get him a new deal.
I should be handling his money.
Why aren't you handling his money? I know what this is about.
That old thing with the money manager.
What'd he get you for? - 800 grand.
- Look, we all get burned.
Don't let Vernon learn the hard way, all right? He needs you.
And if you don't sign him, somebody else will.
You're right.
I'm gonna loan him 300K - and sign him as a client.
- Whoa! (laughs) You're crazy.
Spencer, I know you don't got that kind of money.
No crazier than you loaning your first client 50K when you had zero.
Things turned out okay for you.
Yeah, but you were a sure thing.
No, I wasn't.
Not even close.
Bro, bro, I'm on the elliptical this morning watching "SportsCenter.
" What's up with your boy Ricky? What is it, cocaine? - (phone ringing) - You've got to give me the real scoop.
Ricky, what's going on, brother? - You wanted to talk? - Yeah.
Let's have dinner tonight at Prime 112.
No, no, no, can't do that.
Can't do that.
I don't want to see nobody and this cannot wait, Spence.
Come on.
- Where you at? - Where else you think I am? I'm right outside your fucking office.
Come on, man, let's go.
Ricky's right there.
He's right there.
Hold on one second.
Just give me a minute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, hey, listen to me.
Listen to me.
You should be handling him, okay? The time to pounce is when people are at their weakest.
He's weak.
You smell that? Blood in the water.
- You hear me? - Got it.
Okay.
What's up, Ricky? - It's on mute.
- Oh, okay.
Just tell him I said, "What's up?" Okay? Okay, go, go, go, go.
All right, brother.
Let's roll.
Hey, leave that corny motherfucker in the office, man.
- I don't want to be traded.
- You've been traded before.
Yeah, I was young and stupid then.
- Then? - Yeah, then.
This time it's different, man.
I like where I am.
Don't want to play the get-to-know-you game.
Learn a new playbook.
Shit, I mean, they want to send me to sorry-ass Jacksonville where careers go to die, then I'll retire.
I'll do something else.
- I do not care.
- Are you threatening to quit? Spence, I had 80 catches last year, baby.
I had 80.
So you're gonna retire early? Pull a Tiki Barber and pursue your dreams after football, huh? (laughs) Shit.
You think there should be special rules? Ricky rules? Hell, no.
I'm not saying that.
But, you know, how could you know? They didn't treat you like this.
Golden boy.
Golden boy, huh? Let me tell you how it went down for the golden boy.
I had this vision of my retirement day standing up at the podium, microphone in front of me.
Coach on one side, owner on the other, family and friends around.
You know how it really went down? Sitting up in my goddamn living room just staring at my cell phone waiting for that call to come in.
From the GM, the owner.
I would have taken a call from the fucking trainer.
Thank you, Spence.
Appreciate it, Spence.
Good luck, Spence.
You know when that call finally came? Never.
For real? You better wise the fuck up.
'Cause you got one contract left and when it's done, you'll be out here in the streets with the rest of us.
You keep fucking up like this, you keep acting like a little kid, when it's done and you're done, you're gonna be broke and miserable.
And you know what the worst part about it is? Nobody will give a fuck about you.
I've been there.
You need to grow up.
You need to start acting and conducting yourself like a professional.
Look at me.
No more doing shit on your own.
No more phone calls.
No more meetings.
No more nightclubs.
No more fucking girls in the bathroom.
And no more fucking Twitter.
Fuck Twitter, man.
Salesman: Hey, hey, how you doing today, buddy? Good.
Good.
How about you? I'm doing great.
You looking for an upgrade? Oh, no.
I'm actually looking to get me a job.
You ever worked in car sales before? No, sir.
- Sales of any kind? - No, sir.
(chuckles) What was your last job? You a football fan? Come on.
Hell, yeah, I'm a fan.
Played offensive line for the Bucs.
- Charles Greane.
- No shit.
- Yeah.
- I don't remember you.
Ahem.
Hello.
Mr.
Johnson, Ricky Jarret.
I'm calling to apologize, all right? Um, I messed up, all right? No other way to say it.
I messed up.
I'm a fuckup.
I let my emotions get the best of me.
I appreciate your honesty, son.
Also want to add, though I want to add that I will never, ever put myself or your team in this position again.
It's good to hear.
And I admire the call.
I'll take it all under consideration.
- Thank you, sir.
- You take care.
Cut him.
Cut me? Cut Ricky Jarret? 22nd all time on the receivers list.
- Behind Steve Largent.
- Who the fuck is that? He's in the Hall of Fame, Rick.
How do you not know who Steve Largent is? Can't believe they got me in this position, man.
I can.
Because the first thing they teach us in PR is to not get caught fucking skanks in the bathroom.
Men have done much worse.
You know what? Just shut the fuck up.
They got no value for me out there.
Well, look, you know how it is now.
Once they see an imperfection, - the organization wants nothing to do with you.
- Politics, Rick.
He's still one of the best damn slot receivers in the league.
- This shit is humiliating, fellas.
- We're fixing it.
Yeah, I've already been in contact with Philly, Miami, Atlanta, Tennessee.
- And? - I'm waiting to hear back from them.
- Oh, you're waiting? - Jason: Yeah.
- You guys on vacation? - No.
We're not on vacation.
You know training camp starts in three weeks.
Baby, chill, all right.
Look, I can't stand the wait.
This is Siefert.
You looking for a guy who could set the edge for you? Always.
Never been able to replace this guy Strasmore.
Used to get after the QB for us.
I heard you're concentrating on the other side of the ball these days.
- You calling about Jarret? - Yes, I am.
When did you become a registered agent? (chuckles) Not an agent.
Just a friend.
- I was worried.
- Why? I came in, "SportsCenter" wasn't on.
You weren't on the couch.
I thought somebody abducted you.
Baby, why you always got to make jokes at my expense? You know I'm sensitive.
'Cause deep down, I know you like it.
I really don't, though.
You always played better for a hard-ass coach.
(sighs) True, but You know Mama is always here for you.
More than anything in this world, I've got your back.
We in this shit together.
So, how'd it go today? - Any leads? - Oh, man.
Little rough out there for your boy today, baby, but ahem, you're now looking at the newest salesman at the biggest Chevy dealership in Miami.
(squeals) Yay! (laughs) I'm so proud of you.
You did it.
Oh.
All for you.
Mmm.
Mm-mmm.
About to get a Chevy striptease.
Oh, Dr.
Greane.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
(humming) Give it to me.
And even more bad news coming out of Green Bay for troubled slot receiver Ricky Jarret.
The eight-year veteran has just been released by the Packers.
Now he's got to search for a new (turns TV off) Dear God if You bestow upon me a chance to play ball in this league again, a chance to lace up my shoes, a chance to put on that helmet and once again ball ball on these motherfuckers, I'll give You all the glory.
I get it now.
I'll do You proud.
Amen.
Man: Try to sell on warranty, try to sell on the gap And what I do if I don't know something? Hey, you're a car salesman, Charles.
Just make it up.
Ah, how you feel, sir? I'm feeling good.
How are you? Good.
Good.
You looking to upgrade? No, no, no.
I'm looking for a truck for fishing in the Keys.
Oh, fishing.
I grew up fishing.
My daddy taught me early.
Yeah, I still do some.
Where, back in Biloxi? How you know I'm from Mississippi? - Aren't you Charles Greane? - Yes, sir.
Larry Siefert, Miami Dolphins.
I scouted you when I was at the U.
Still can't believe we lost out to Central Florida.
Hey, UCF had a lot less folks back then.
Wasn't always a city slicker like I am now.
This is the new model, right? Yeah, yeah, brand-new for this year.
What are some of the upgrades? Uh, a lot of torque.
It's got new torque power.
The horsepower - What's the horsepower? - It's got about 625.
You played with Ricky Jarret, right? Yeah, yeah.
About three seasons.
Right after we won the Super Bowl.
He sure is some character.
(laughs) Yeah, that Ricky is always entertaining.
Is he as much of an ass as he appears? No, he's just passionate.
All Ricky cares about is winning.
If anything, he's just a little misunderstood.
- Aren't we all? - I guess so.
Hey, mister, you really here about this Chevy, or you came to kick the tires on Ricky? (chuckles) People often mistake country with dumb.
Those people are usually from the city.
Good point.
So this the great Man: That guy looked like a buyer, man.
Did you get his phone number, contact, anything? Oh, man, it don't matter.
He ain't buying nothing.
Fuck, you got a crystal ball now? You can see the future? I prayed to God and He answered my call.
(laughs) You know the Lord works in mysterious ways.
I also know that it was me and your super agent who got you that in-person with Miami.
It's all part of God's plan, ain't it? - Let's talk about our plan.
- Let's.
Need you to be contrite.
Let him know you learned from the experience.
- Yes, be humble.
- Also that it won't happen again.
- Never.
- And that you're gonna do anything the coach - and team needs you to do.
- Absolutely.
- Even play special teams.
- Absolutely not.
- I'm not doing that.
- Rick.
I'll even play special teams.
Good, now get going.
You don't want to be late, okay? He's a stickler for punctuality.
I won't be late, yo.
And I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with.
So I appreciate y'all don't bail on me when shit goes down.
Never crossed our minds.
Let's go.
I'm a passionate man.
It's all coming from a spiritual place.
That right there, don't say that.
Get it.
Ricky: Ooh! He's gonna fuck this up.
Yeah, about a 60% chance.
Ricky: Got this! - Coach.
Coach.
- Hey, Csonk, get me one of them Peronis.
- Coach.
- Yeah? - Um, I'm sorry, I - What? You're what? - It's 5:01.
- Which makes you? - Late.
- Good, then we understand each other.
Do me a favor, undo that line right there.
- This one? - Right there.
I got you, Coach.
I got you.
You are an asshole.
Bad life choices, son.
Bad life choices.
Coach! (music playing) My man! Come deliver that green hug.
- Come on in, man.
- Thank you.
You know I appreciate this.
It's the biggest favor anybody's ever done for me.
Thank you.
I can't thank you enough.
You're welcome.
Who the fuck are all these people? (whispers) I don't even know.
You better start knowing.
Thank you, man.
I'm good for this.
I'm gonna pay you back with interest.
I know you will.
'Cause now you're a client.
Hey, cool.
You want to hang out a little bit? No, I'm good.
Have fun.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Vernon: Ma, where Eugene at? Damn, you got a big set of balls on you, I'll give you that.
I want you to know who I am, Coach.
People talk a lot of shit about me.
- Mm-hmm.
- I understand my rep.
Yeah, well, don't worry about that.
I form my own opinions.
Look, I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry I was late.
Let me ask you a question.
What are the three most important things to you? God, family, football.
That's good.
For a second there, I thought you were gonna say friends.
I wasn't.
Jarret, there are very few people that deserve a second chance and there's less that deserve a third.
Are you one of those people? Yes, sir.
Absolutely.
That's good.
That's real good.
So you keep your head on straight, you work hard, you've got a shot.
Welcome to the Miami Dolphins, son.
Coach, you won't regret this.
Oh, yeah, I've heard that one before.
We'll see.
Oh, by the way, not everybody thinks you're a low-rent scumbag.
Somebody actually had something nice to say about you.
- Yeah, like who? - Know the guy who works at the Chevy dealership? You don't know Charles Greane? No shit.
Charles got a job? Go help Csonka get the fish out of the cooler.
Tell Shula to meet me in the bar.
Houlihan's.
Oh, fuck that.
My man.
How you doing? - You ain't gonna believe this.
- You got married? Yeah, right.
No, even crazier, though.
I met with the coach.
Guess who's coming home.
- To play for the Dolphins? - Hell, yeah.
So I fucking delivered for you.
- You did good, big bro.
- Bet your ass I did.
How about this? From here on out, I'm handling your affairs.
All right, we can work something out.
I think we can work something out.
You gonna stay out of trouble? Yeah, I'll try it out.
'Cause I ain't holding your hand, only your money.
Well, you better get ready to use both hands, then.
Shit.
You got any money left? Look, I might be a fuckup, but when it comes to my cash, I'm like Money fucking Mayweather.
All right, every dollar I've ever made is coming to you, Spence.
Think you can handle that kind of pressure, golden boy? - Hello? - (sighs) Hello, Spence? Babe, we're gonna miss the movie.
Everything okay? Never better.
Never better.
Thought I lost you there.
Spence? Yo! A-whoo Ha, ha - Oh, yeah - Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah Oooh, oooh Mack man's got to get over Got to get over