Beef (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[distorted, indistinct chatter]
[man] It happens.
- [cashier] How's your day going?
- [man] Really great. How's yours?
[cashier] Fantastic.
[man] Fantastic's, uh, fantastic.
[cashier chuckles] Sure is.
You up to anything fun this weekend?
Just taking it easy,
hanging out with the missus.
- Nice.
- How about you? Doing anything?
[cashier]
Same, brother. Oh, except no missus.
- [man] That might be a good thing.
- [cashier] Yeah.
[man] How is that Thompson's WaterSeal?
[cashier] It's really good.
It's like one of our popular ones.
- [man] Nice.
- [cashier] All right.
- Here's your receipt.
- [man] Thanks.
[cashier] Have a nice day.
Just making a return.
[cashier] Everything okay?
Yeah, just changed my mind.
This is the third time you've bought
and returned these hibachi grills.
Yeah, you know, just charcoal versus gas.
It's hard to decide.
I see you returned
the carbon monoxide detector again?
I thought you guys had
a no-questions-asked policy.
I'm not asking a question.
It's a statement.
Okay.
You got a receipt?
Yeah.
I got it somewhere.
[intercom beeps]
[cashier over intercom]
If you're making a return,
please be sure
to have your receipts ready.
[woman] Oh, come on.
I'll just keep them, then, yeah?
Super helpful.
[sighs]
[engine starts]
Always fucking something.
[seat belt clicks]
There's always something.
[car horn honking]
What? What?
[horn continues honking]
What is your prob? What?
[car horn honking]
Fuck this.
[tires screeching]
Where you at? Where you at?
Got you.
What the fuck, man?
[truck horn honking]
[horns honking]
Think I can't get you? Fuck.
Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?
Fucking shit.
Fuck you!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Show your fucking face!
Show your fucking face!
- [car horn honking]
- Show your fucking Fuck!
Oh, shit.
I got you, motherfucker.
[tires screeching]
I'm so fucking sick of this shit!
Every fucking day!
Where the fuck do you think you're going?
Oh, my God, you fucking idiot.
What are you doing?
No.
Stop. Stop, stop, stop!
[horn honks]
7-C-7-6-4-F-1.
7-C-7-6-4-F-1.
7-C-7-6-4-F-1.
["Liquid Dreams" playing over stereo]
I dreamed about a girl
Who's a mix of Destiny's Child ♪
Just a little touch
Of Madonna's wild style ♪
With Janet Jackson's ♪
[dramatic music playing]
[cell phone chimes]
Oh.
Are you kidding me?
Figure it out.
Just make it stop.
[George] Amy?
Yeah?
Are you okay?
Did something happen at Forsters?
Oh. No. Everything went great.
Jordan showed me her flagship store,
and she invited us to her home tomorrow.
So, you know, usual lovefest.
Well, then what's going on?
You seem all riled up.
Babe.
Come on.
Talk to me.
Okay, well, um
after the meeting,
I was sitting in the parking lot,
thinking about how many meetings and calls
I've had to do for the last two years.
Still somehow there's no offer coming,
and it just really got to me, you know?
Then I started driving
and there was this guy
Amy, before you spiral
I'm gonna have you stop right there.
Take a deep breath.
Pause.
You've got to start focusing
on the positive, okay?
You know, maybe we should start doing
the gratitude journals again.
[girl] Daddy!
I need more markers!
Our little artist.
Uh
Gratitude journals.
Yeah, you're right. Let's do it.
Thanks, babe.
Come on.
- [Amy gasps] Junie!
- Mommy, we missed you!
I missed you too, sweetie.
Look at the vase Daddy made.
- Oh.
- I think you're gonna love it.
Yeah, you're right, Junie. I do love it.
You're still cool with selling it
at your store, right, babe?
- Mm-hm.
- I mean, if you've changed your mind
it's okay.
They're just not really selling
at the gallery, so I don't know.
I can do it.
Paul.
Paul!
Hey, you home?
Yo. You see a Forsters receipt anywhere?
I'm in the middle of a game.
Dude, pick up after yourself, man.
You hear me?
[Paul] I'm in the middle of a game.
Yo, this fucking guy today,
he starts honking at me, right?
So I chased him down,
scared the shit out of that motherfucker.
That's what's wrong
with the world today, man.
They want you to feel like
you have no control.
You know?
Like you're gonna eat shit
with a smile on your face or some shit.
Fuck that, dude.
Fuck it, man!
I don't wanna
I'm so sick of smiling, dude.
[cell phone ringing]
Hi.
[woman in Korean]
It's Mom. Have you been good?
[in Korean] Yes, Mom. How are you and Dad?
Living with your uncle has been tough.
- Hmm?
- Dad and I fight every day too.
[in English] What?
I don't think he wants to work anymore.
Why would I want to work at my age?
I don't even have time to eat breakfast!
Mom, Dad, don't worry.
[in English] Business is good.
[in Korean]
I'll buy that land you always wanted.
[in English] I'll build a big house.
Sure.
[in Korean] No, really!
Anyway, stop worrying about us.
Find a nice Korean girl at church
and get married.
Start a family.
[in English] Okay.
[speaks Korean]
[father] And it'd be nice
if Paul started making some money.
[in Korean]
He doesn't even leave his room.
How's he gonna make money?
[in English]
Hey, I just bought this chain for two Gs.
What the fuck did you guys do?
[in Korean] I'll call you back.
- [in English] Paul can't play right now.
- What the fuck is your problem?
- You making that money off crypto?
- It's none of your business.
It is if you're gonna lose all your money.
I know what I'm doing. All right?
No, you don't, dude.
You promised you wouldn't do that shit.
That's why I made more than you this week.
I don't have to fix toilets.
I've been busting my ass
since Mom and Dad lost the motel.
And you're gonna gamble
while they're going to work for Samchon?
Should you be lecturing me
when you're the one who let Isaac
run his shady shit at the motel?
- It's why we lost it in the first place.
- He's our cousin.
I did not know.
Our family's a bunch of fucking losers.
Write down all your passwords.
- All of them. All your accounts.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
I'm gonna change it
so you can't access that shit.
Are you fucking serious?
Yo, write down all your shit,
or you can start paying rent.
All right.
Did you eat?
[Amy] Yes, you're absolutely right.
I didn't think of that.
Mm.
No, I know. It's just, uh
I'm the owner so there's no one
higher up you can speak to
Hello?
Hello?
Your husband's brilliant.
Yeah.
No, he is. Um
The globs, they don't feel
too out of place in here?
No, I think it's exactly
what the store needed.
It's a good thought.
It's a very positive thought.
I mean, you're both brilliant.
Your life,
it's, like, such an inspiration.
Thanks, Mia.
I wake up every day feeling very lucky.
[Mia] You know, I got into design, like,
right after we studied
Haru Nakai's work in college.
[Amy]
Ah. Yeah, George's dad was very special.
We miss him every day.
[speaks Japanese]
What?
That means "I'm sorry" in Japanese, right?
Cool.
Thanks.
[woman] Love the space.
Oh. Appreciate you, Mama.
Let us know if you have
any questions, okay?
Oh, my God. Amy Lau.
Could we get a photo together?
Of course.
I got it.
I've been buying your plants
online for years.
I just thought I should stop by the store.
- Oh, I love that.
- [camera clicks]
I read your interview in Calabasas Style
and I just wanna say
I really look up to you
and how you live your life.
Thank you.
I don't know how you keep it all together.
Yeah, so he drove off
and I pretty much just played it cool.
He's lucky though
'cause I would've gone nuts on him.
I did get his license plate.
Lot of crazy drivers these days.
Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
[Danny] All right.
- Okay.
- [Danny] There she is.
I put in my own grout by the way.
Grout's easy.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, it looks great, so
Hey, bud, do you happen to have
those referrals I was asking about?
- Remember I texted you about those?
- Yeah. Um
You know, I asked around
and all my friends have a handyman so
Contractor.
I'm a contractor.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course, yeah, totally. Totally. Um
By the way, if you know
of a good tree trimmer,
let me know, 'cause I've been
meaning to cut these bad boys.
I could do it.
Hmm? Oh.
I mean, don't you need like
a certification or something?
What, are you gonna get
a guy with, like, five stars on Yelp?
Those reviews are fake, man.
They're totally fake.
Look, I'll come back tomorrow
with some dudes, 600 bucks.
It would be nice to get it done. Um
Five-fifty?
[both chuckling]
Uh My guy.
- Only 'cause it's you.
- All right. See you tomorrow.
- Great.
- Okay, great. Yep.
[woman over intercom]
Did you fire him yet?
[man over intercom]
No. He's trimming the trees.
[woman] Okay, you have to fire him
after that. He's so annoying.
[man] I know.
I know, he really is.
It's perfect.
Just like you.
Can you go get me your other paintings?
Okay.
[Fumi] She needs a real art teacher.
Your father always said
it's not about talent, it's about taste.
[George] Yeah, I know what you mean, Mom.
Guys, I don't wanna
put pressure on Junie, okay?
I mean, painting helps with her anxiety
and she just stopped
picking her skin, so
But you know, we always appreciate
your advice, Fumi.
And thank you so much
for babysitting tomorrow.
A grandmother should spend time
with her grandchild.
Yeah, and tomorrow's gonna be
a really big day
because Jordan has finally invited us
to her home.
Amy has been working
so hard on this sale, Mom.
Kōyōhaus could be in every Forsters
all over the country.
What she should do
is move her store to Rodeo Drive.
- Ooh. I'll look into that.
- [George] Hey.
Even if it all falls through,
we have everything we need
right here, right, guys?
- George.
- [Fumi] Joji.
Your whole house needs a remodel.
Right, and, you know,
you're the one who wanted Junie
in all those mindfulness classes
and organic gardening playgroups, so
All that matters is that June thrives
as her truest self.
- Well, no one thrives for free, so
- My sister was a loud eater.
And you know, three years ago
her husband was struck by a train.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Oh, shit.
Yo, D!
What's up, big boy?
Yo.
- Oh, my God.
- So sexy.
- Oh!
- [Danny] What's up, man? Good to see you.
Good to see you. Oh, my God.
Dude, so sexy, man.
- Thank you.
- Come on, man. You look so good.
You look good.
- Have you been working out?
- Little bit.
[in Korean] Miss, two ox bone soups.
- [in English] What's up?
- What's up, coz?
How you doing? You look healthy.
Three months out of jail.
Thank God for the fucking Filipinos.
- They had my back in there.
- Yeah.
What about you, man? What's going on?
Um, it's good.
Yeah, it's good. It's busy.
- Busy's good.
- Yeah.
My folks are having a
- You know, having a rough time but, um
- Mm.
Yeah, since the motel.
I feel like they're stuck in Korea
'cause of me.
- Kind of shitty.
- All right.
Like I told the cops,
you didn't do anything wrong.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I was just the middle man, okay?
Who knew you could
counterfeit baby formula?
I didn't know. No one knew that, right?
Yeah, totally,
no one knew that, so I mean
You're back up on your feet.
It's all good. We love that.
It's all good. Everybody's good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
All right, man,
I just need a little money.
[in Korean] Miss, over here!
My bad. My bad.
[in English] Can you lube my pussy
with kimchi juice before you?
- I'll pay you back.
- There's no soup. I just fucking sat down.
We haven't even eaten yet!
Can we eat before you?
Isaac. Okay. I'm sorry. My bad.
Sorry for yelling, first of all.
I need to work on that. Um
I'm gonna give you the money.
I feel bad about the motel,
so I'm gonna give you 20K.
I'm just asking you,
is there any way we can enjoy this meal?
Dude, yes.
- Hey, cheers, please.
- Thank you.
[speaking Spanish]
[chuckles] Okay, here we go.
[Amy] I can't wait to cash out
and just stay home with June.
Remember, if you have a bad trip,
I'm here for you.
I've been microdosing to up my creativity.
It's fine.
This mushroom dinner
is just a means to an end.
It's not enough for people like Jordan
to own a retail empire,
they need to see God.
[George]
Paul McCartney once saw God on a trip
and said that God
looked like a massive wall.
Say shit like that inside.
[car horn honking]
Hey, by the way,
if I go to a spiritual place tonight,
just let me go alone, okay?
Wait. What?
[crows cawing]
[workers chattering in Spanish]
You hear that?
Crows love me.
See?
No problemo.
Come on, Danny.
Come on, Danny.
[car horn honking]
Fuck!
- [workers speaking Spanish]
- [Danny groaning]
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit!
Lunch is on me, guys.
[man over intercom]
Danny, can we talk to you for a minute?
[woman] Just fire him.
It's an ugly-ass house anyway.
Yo. Where you going? Get in the car.
My boy's picking me up.
- Dude, just get in the car, Paul.
- He lives super close.
All right.
[driver] Uber for Paul?
Mushrooms are the cornerstone
of every ecosystem.
So as CEO of the Forsters Corporation,
I am happy to announce
that we've partnered with a few nonprofits
in the exploration of fungal utility.
Medicine.
What the hell is that?
Babe, it's a mushroom pizza.
George, they're normal mushrooms.
This is so stupid.
As my father used to say,
"You can eat any mushroom once."
[all laughing, then applauding]
[glass clinking]
Hi. Sorry. Hi. Before we dig in,
I just need to take a moment
to say a toast to our inspiring host,
my sister-in-law Jordana Forster.
I remember the first time
you took me foraging.
We were visiting my motherland
[on voicemail]
You've reached Brianna Kinsley Realty.
- Please leave a message.
- [voicemail beeps]
Hi, this is Danny Cho. I'm calling
about the Summit Drive property.
I run a very successful
residential construction company
and I'm very serious about buying.
So please call me back. Thank you so much.
Hi, this is Danny Cho again.
I just called
about the Summit Drive property.
I wasn't sure if this is a landline.
Here's my number just in case.
818-555-4181.
Hi, Danny again.
I also have money.
For the down payment.
I forgot to mention that. I have money.
Please call me back.
[cell phone chimes]
Fuck.
There's always something. What the fuck?
[groans]
[indistinct chatter]
You never mentioned
you were married to Haru Nakai's son.
- Hello?
- Well, I didn't know you were a fan.
- Yes.
- You know what?
You should come to this gallery opening
tomorrow night.
George is loaning
one of his father's pieces.
Really? I would love that.
Nobody else in my family
understands culture.
That's why Forsters
has been stuck in the past.
That's why you're here.
To change that.
See? I like you.
You have this serene
Zen Buddhist thing going on.
Well, you know, just doing me.
[bartender] Here you are.
- Thanks very much. Thanks.
- Thank you.
Listen, obviously I didn't invite you here
just to eat weird shit.
I don't even like mushrooms.
- Except for the magic kind.
- Mm-hm.
There's an offer being drawn up.
Expect a term sheet tomorrow.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much, Jordan.
I can't wait to see
what you do with Kōyōhaus.
Okay, there'll be a few weeks
of due diligence.
A couple of months, max.
Yeah, of course. No skeletons here.
Good.
Don't fuck this up.
'Cause you and I both know
I could just go to China
and copy your shit for less.
Yeah. I mean, let's keep
the jobs in America, right?
Totally.
Cheers.
[tires screeching]
[George snoring]
[Amy] Oh, thank God.
[beeping]
What the fuck?
[June screams] Mommy!
[Amy] Hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, it was just a bad dream,
sweetie, okay?
You can go back to sleep. Mama's here.
What if the nightmare comes back?
Well, um
you know, whenever I have a bad dream,
I just think of a happy time.
You do?
Yeah.
In fact, I think
of a happy time with you, Junie.
I think about the day you were born.
You know, for the longest time
you were growing inside of Mama's belly.
And then all of a sudden, poof.
You were right there, looking back at me.
And then the crazy part was
you were already you.
I remember the hospital bed.
I remember the
the blanket around your little face.
It was 4:00 a.m.
and the whole city was silent.
No meetings.
No e-mails.
No pretending.
It was just you and me.
And there was nothing wrong
anywhere in the entire universe.
I wish we could've stayed there.
[Danny] Nobody understands.
Fuck you.
You don't even know.
And when I'm dead, you will see.
You will fucking see.
"To ensure high CO levels,
wait for hibachis
to set off the detector." I did that.
[carbon monoxide detector beeping]
No, this is not it.
Ah! Fuck.
[gasps]
[beeping stops]
Jesus, it's been there the whole time.
[dramatic music playing]
This fucking guy.
[June giggling]
You gotta catch me!
[Amy] Hey, sweetheart,
do we have any nine-volt batteries?
[George] Uh, I don't think so. Why?
Uh, I just think we need to replace some.
Uh, in what?
I'll take a look later.
I think in the safe?
Why were you opening the safe?
Uh, well, you know, I've been seeing
all these Nextdoor posts
and people are fricking crazy out there.
Well, I changed the combo.
Oh. Well, maybe
You don't think, like,
I should have the new combo?
What if something bad happens,
like someone follows me home or something?
Amy.
You know why I didn't tell you.
Dad?
Wait, sweetie.
Hey, stop, honey.
Okay, you have a wonderful day. Okay?
And you tell Mommy
all about it later, all right?
[June] Mom.
Stop.
Come on, Dad, let's go.
[door opens, then closes]
377 Bon Homme Road.
"377 Bon Homme.
I live at 377 Bon Homme."
Fucking dick-ass.
One-one-one-four.
One-one-one-four.
320, 3
Where the fuck is 377? What the fuck?
[beeps]
[Danny] You didn't think I would find you?
I'm gonna find you, motherfucker.
Oh, I'm gonna whoop your fucking
What?
You wanna go? Let's go.
Let's fucking go right now.
You wanna fucking go?
Let's fucking go, motherfucker!
- [gun clicks]
- [moans]
[Danny] Bon Homme.
Bon Homme. Bon Homme.
"E.T. Bon Homme."
- [gun clicking]
- [moaning]
Yum.
Where the fuck do you live?
[doorbell rings]
Hi.
Can I help you?
Sorry to bother you.
I'm a contractor working down the street.
Did you remodel recently?
Uh, yeah. Why?
Well, I couldn't help but notice
that your rooftop conduits
don't have supports.
It's an electrical hazard.
What?
I'm not trying
to make any money off of you.
I just thought I'd come and let you know
so you can get your guy to fix it.
Hey, you're not some kind
of weirdo, right?
'Cause if you are,
you should know that I own a gun.
Like I said, miss,
I'm just trying to be helpful.
Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
I'll be on my way.
Hey, no, just wait a second.
Okay? I'll be right there, just
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you so much
for checking out the roof.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, of course.
Is there anything else
you want me to look at while I'm here?
Oh, no, we just did this whole remodel.
Everything in the kitchen is brand-new
and my mother-in-law
thinks it's all basic,
but I don't know,
I feel like I did a good job.
Oh, you did good, all right.
Well, please tell that to her
and my husband.
Is he home right now?
Um
He won't be home for a while.
[Danny] Mm.
Oh.
He's Japanese.
Yeah.
Hey, where's your garage?
You know, we actually had to have
two different companies
do the cabinetry.
It was a whole thing.
Took forever to finish.
- Hmm.
- But you know, it worked out.
Ah, yeah, definitely see some warp here.
I'm sorry. Are you serious right now?
Yeah, it's just absorbing
all this moisture.
- Fuck. There's always something.
- Yes.
There's always something.
It's, like, you work so hard for so long
just to provide for your family, right?
Yeah. If not you, then who's gonna?
- [Amy] Yeah, exactly.
- Yeah.
And then at some point,
you think you'd get to relax, but no.
There's too much moisture, so now
I gotta redo these fucking cabinets.
I gotta redo the roof probably,
and then by the time I'm done,
I'm running out of money,
the kitchen's out of style,
and the whole time,
all I wanted was a fucking hot tub.
You have a timeless kitchen.
So I think you're okay.
- [chuckles]
- I'm sorry. I just
I'm just tired.
Oh, don't be sorry. You're fine.
I'm I feel you. I understand.
That's a nice car.
Your husband like driving this?
Uh, he actually drives
the minivan for the kid
and I drive the luxury car for work.
Nice.
Yeah.
Do you mind if I use your restroom?
Hey, babe, call me back when you get this.
I'm so upset.
Thank God this contractor came over
and he caught everything.
- [door opens]
- Our fucking cabinets
Oh, you know, I gotta go.
Hey, thanks again for everything.
We should exchange numbers
I'm late for an appointment
so I gotta go. Bye.
What the fuck?
["The Reason" playing]
What the fuck?
[song continues intermittently]
Hey! Hey!
[inaudible dialogue]
There's many things I wish I didn't do ♪
But I continue learning ♪
[horn blaring]
I never meant
To do those things to you ♪
6-R-K-P-6-3-2.
6-R-K-P-6-3-2.
6-R-K-P-6-3-2.
That I just want you to know ♪
I've found a reason for me ♪
To change who I used to be ♪
A reason to start over new ♪
And the reason is you ♪
I'm sorry that I hurt you ♪
It's something
I must live with every day ♪
And all the pain I put you through ♪
I wish that I could take it all away ♪
And be the one
Who catches all your tears ♪
That's why I need you to hear ♪