Being Human (US) s01e01 Episode Script

- We're all hiding something, aren't we? From the moment we wake, look in that mirror, all we do is spin our little lies, suck in that gut, colour that hair, twist off that wedding ring.
And why not? What's the penalty? What are the consequences, really? "I'm only human," you say, and all is forgiven.
But what if some cruel twist of fate makes you something else, something other? Who forgives you then? Byron wrote about Prometheus.
"The retched gift eternity was thine "and thou has borne it well " - Don't know that one.
- " making death a victory.
" - Wow! Such light date patter.
So that's why you became a nurse? To help people experience the victory of death? - I'm sorry.
Is that what you asked me? But you know what I mean, right? That living thing, that breathing, living thing taking its last breath it's gorgeous.
Every human spends a night or two on the dark side and regrets it.
But what if you only exist on the dark side? - So, this is my place.
Do you wanna come in? I think I got a really awful bottle of wine.
- How could I possibly say no to that? We just want the same things that you do: a chance at life, at love.
We're not so different in that way.
- Sorry, were you expecting a cheese course? Come on! Don't make me embarrass myself.
- And so we try and sometimes fail When you're something other, a monster the consequences are worse.
Much worse.
You wake up from your nightmares.
We don't.
- Huh? Stanislaw's Mortuary.
- Hey, it's me.
I need your help.
- You little slut.
Dr.
Baker, telephone for you.
Dr.
Baker, telephone.
- Hey, you know, there's a better way to do this.
- Do what? Be a better monster? No, thank you.
- Or dignified monster.
- You're joking, right? - You shouldn't have to run into the woods every time that you turn.
- Pretty sure the gang down at the Econolodge wouldn't take too kindly to me doing it there.
So - So what about what I said? What about the apartment? - Yeah, it's perfect.
That's a great idea.
Let's do that.
It's perfect.
We'll have full moon parties.
We'll invite the neighbours over and eat them.
- Or We can look after each other like normal people.
Aren't you tired of punishing yourself squatting in hostels, and hourly motels? Don't you ever just want your own bed? Besides, God! What do you do with a girl if you meet one? - And yet another gentle reminder of how badly my life sucks.
Thank you.
- Seriously, would you just think about it? This could help.
Both of us.
- How could 4 walls and a toilet possibly help this? And for the record, reminding me I haven't had sex in the last 2 years- Hey.
Total lie.
- Sorry.
- No, he is.
Please.
- I am.
- I'm Aiden.
- Hi.
Um, Cara.
- Josh.
- Are you new here or- - Yeah, I'm actually- I'm just filling in for Rebecca.
She didn't show up in ICU, so they called me in.
Welcome, Milady.
- Yeah, I'm actually just looking for the nurse's station.
Do either of you know- - It's 2nd floor, left from the elevator.
- Great.
Thanks.
It was really great meeting both of you.
- Aiden, good to see you.
How you feeling? Better, right? After last night, huh? Pretty girl.
- What are you doing here, Marcus? - You know, the grind.
He's an alderman.
Big muckety-muck! Yeah, Bishop wants us to go after more people of influence, people of use.
- Well, you can tell Bishop that the hospital is off-limits for recruiting.
- Tell you what share him with me and we'll take him to Bishop together.
- I don't drink live anymore.
- Since when? Last night? - Leave him alone.
- Yeah, sure.
Bishop will be so disappointed.
He thought for sure you were back.
- Tell Bishop what happened last night was a mistake.
- Sure.
Are you back in? I don't mind cleaning up your occasional mess.
That's what we do.
We're family.
But if you are back, you and I are gonna have to set a few ground rules.
There's an order now.
There's Bishop and there's me.
You will respect that.
- Don't worry.
I know how many years it took you to get your nose firmly inserted up Bishop's ass.
- Are we OK in here, Aiden? - Are you serious? - About what? - Being normal.
Trying to be.
- Mm-hmm.
- I used to think this curse was what happened to me once a month.
And I realized this-this- this is the curse: every day sitting on a bench watching people walk by - I don't think so - eating sandwiches, making plans, being what I used to be.
I always tell myself: "Well, Josh, this is what you get.
"This is what you deserve.
This is what you are "Now.
" I can't do this like this any more.
- Of course I don't cook.
- You don't eat.
- And I don't clean.
- I have O.
C.
D.
- Uh, my credit's crap.
Just putting it out there.
- Took us a month, but we found it! If I said it I meant it There's a view.
- Of an alley.
The plumbing's beat to hell.
- Go upstairs.
You can see a building that can see water.
It's- There's a reflection.
Look at those windows.
I mean, you could rest a pie on those sills.
- Yeah, you could if you were an 80-year-old woman.
- This place is amazing, Aiden.
You know it.
I want it.
- Just play it cool, OK? - Totally.
- You sure? - Got it! - So? What do you guys think? - Well, honestly, it's a little dark.
- Yeah.
- Which a coat of light paint can help.
A lamp.
You like dark.
- And the plumbing is a little bit- - Look, I know.
I keep meaning to fix that.
- Which we can help with.
I mean, what are weekends for? - Look, truth is, there was an engaged couple living here.
All right? They started fixing the place up.
Things didn't work out.
- What, they split? - Yeah, sort of.
She died.
- Who died? - The girl.
- The fianc?e.
- Yeah.
- In the house? Shouldn't you have mentioned this in your ad? - Well, I don't know.
Do people do that? - Yeah, it's fine.
- Look, if you don't want the place- - It's fine? - People die.
- In old-age homes, car accidents.
Not with their heads lodged in my future oven.
- Josh.
- Yeah, um She was my fianc?e.
- I'm so sorry for your loss.
- Look, I probably should've mentioned that.
It's just, um I don't come back here much.
- And that's why you're, uh, you're out here? - Look, you two seem all right.
I know the place isn't perfect, but it's a great place for a couple.
It really is.
- What? - What? - It's OK.
- So-so look, I can come by on weekends and do what fix-up I can.
As far as I'm concerned, any furniture in there is yours.
And honestly I don't need a credit check.
- I'm gonna need you to hold- Oisin, my bastard brother - Ah! - Look at you, Julia Child.
- Well, if you're alone in the kitchen and you make a mistake who will know? - What? - Someone's in the house.
- Where? - Upstairs.
Aiden, Aiden.
Wait, wait, wait! Shouldn't we call 911? - You're a werewolf.
- Yeah, occasionally.
- Useless condition.
- Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the Bobbsey twins! I am God.
I am everywhere.
I drove all night just to get back home.
- Are you trying to scare us with Bon Jovi? - You can hear me? - Yeah.
- You went searching for drug change under the wrong couch cushions, lady.
I'm calling the cops.
- Josh.
- What? - She's a ghost.
- Shut up.
You're a ghost? - Sorry, I don't totally have a handle on this.
I'm Sally.
Hi! Crap! - Wait, what? - So, you-you- You've just been here since you - Since I bit it? Pretty much.
one-sided conversation, me ranting, people just walking through me.
Oh! For a month, there was these vegans.
Like, this isn't Burning Man.
You can shower.
- How did you die? If it's not too personal a question.
- No, not at all, especially since I have no idea.
- At all? - I remember going to sleep.
I remember lying next to Danny, and I woke up and there was this.
Anyway, you two gonna go all Twilight on each other at some point? - Excuse me? - I know what you are.
- How? - Because it's all you guys ever talk about.
I wanna be normal, but I can't, 'cause I wanna eat people, etc.
It's OK.
I'm cool with it! Believe me, the regular living are overrated.
- So, wait.
So, stop.
Let me just get this straight.
So you've just been watching us, right? Just going through our things? Great, great.
We're living with Sally, the peeper ghost.
- Oh, relax.
I can't even move dust.
And I'm not a peeper much.
I would have that mole checked out.
You were pre-med, weren't you? You should know that.
- Well, I'm gonna enjoy this.
- You were supposed to marry what's-his-face, weren't you? - Danny, yes.
- Right, so why don't you just go haunt him? - Josh, just- - No, I mean, listen.
I'm sorry that you're a ghost and all, but if you're gonna spend eternity with someone, shouldn't it be with the one that you loved or, you know, anywhere but here? - I'm sorry.
I wish I could say it's a blood-sugar thing, but Josh is rude all the time.
- It's OK.
Josh, I would love to leave.
- But she can't, bec- Right? - Right.
- You're not my first ghost.
- How can you seme, anyway? - Well, think of us as sort of different countries on the same continent.
- Oh my god! That's beautiful, really.
We're Africa.
OK, so about this whole leaving thing, have you tried? - Obviously I've tried.
I haven't been moping around the house, rattling chains, taking bubble baths.
I would love to just open that door and magically walk back into the life that was ripped away from me.
I did have plans, you know.
- We gotta get to work.
- I'll be here.
- It was great meeting you.
- At lease I don't masturbate to Nova! - So you're OK with a ghost living in our house? - You do realize that technically it's her house.
- Look, I'm sorry that she died and she never got married and-and she doesn't know how to move on, but seriously, I mean, the whole point of this house was having one place where monsters aren't, where you don't have to apologize or hide or think about what we are.
Where we can eat pizza, or pretend to eat pizza, where we can be human for, like, just an hour or 2.
- And from what I know about ghosts, a ghost isn't a ghost without a reason.
Sally, everything she knows about ghosts seems to come from Whoopi Goldberg.
She knows nothing, Josh.
Would you please give her a chance to find her way? - Where the hell are we? - They just cleared this place out for expansion, but that could take years.
It's perfect, isn't it? You can change down here.
- Into a crazy person? - Step one, we got an apartment, but if you really want to do this, have a chance of having a normal life, you gotta find a reliable way to deal with your transformation.
So, step 2, your own personal- - Cage.
- It works though, doesn't it? You could use it tomorrow night.
- Does it lock? - Try it.
I can let you out in the mornings.
- Emily? - Come on, people.
As fast as you can.
Get out of the way.
- OK, the G.
S.
W.
in the chest.
Hurry up, he's bleeding out.
Give me an A.
B.
G, C.
B.
C, M-7.
- Sad, isn't it? Cara.
- Oh, I know.
- OK.
You know, her mom comes by everyday, passing out flyers, which I get, because you want to do everything you can, but let's face it, she's scattered in a dumpster, isn't she? I mean, aren't they always? Oh God! Unless you you knew her.
Anyway, we absolutely should do something for her, like, uh, have a vigil or start a group or a clothing drive or o me.
I just meant that if it were me, I would want closure.
- It's OK.
- I've had, like, a hundred cups of coffee today.
I keep on making it for the cops, and then every time I make a pot, I think I should stay and have a cup with them, because I-I don't want them to think that I'm hiding anything, oh, which, I'm not.
- So, the police are here again? - Re-canvassing.
- You're home.
- Yep.
- So, I've been thinking about what you said, you know, and I think I should try to move on.
- Great.
- So, I just need you to call Danny, tell him to come over, fix the pipes, and, uh, I'll take it from there.
Josh.
If you could call Danny- - Can it wait? - It'll take 2 seconds.
- I just want to be alone.
And see, this is the problem.
You're always here, so I can never be alone.
- Where am I supposed to go? - I don't know.
Beyond? I- I-I don't- - Yes, please.
Like I'd rather be shacking up with a vampire and, oh yeah, a day drinker.
Josh, I was gonna get my Master's, and now I have nothing to read but stupid blogs over your shoulder.
I've tried to leave.
I don't know how.
- Then figure it out, Sally.
Figure it out, OK? Because I- My life sucks enough without having to live in your purgatory.
- You're right.
I have stuff to work out.
You don't know how lucky you are! - Lucky.
Right, yeah.
- Whatever's going on with you, at least you have the chance to fix it.
It's a bad bump on the otherwise ongoing road of your life.
I can't do anything.
I can't change anything.
I can't even drink a beer to make myself feel better.
So just go on your pansy-ass mopey kick, but at least have the decency to appreciate that you haven't dropped off a cliff to nowhere.
- How did you manage to make this about you? - Last time we spoke, you mentioned you and Rebecca were friends.
- We worked together, yes.
- Some of your coworkers tell us you were more than that.
- More than what? - More than friends.
When was the last time you were at Rebecca's apartment? - Hold on.
I never said I was at her apartment.
- You've never been there? - No.
- You sure? - Aiden didn't do this, Tim.
- What are you talking about? - He didn't do this.
- Of course.
He didn't.
- You're going to wait in the car and you were never here, OK? - You know what? I'll be in the car.
- Good.
Thanks, Tim.
Bye.
Good to see you back, Aiden.
- I'm not back, Bishop.
- Really? 'Cause Marcus said that girl was so torn up, you could read the VIN number off her ribs.
- Marcus is an ass.
- Maybe.
God, Aiden! It's been months.
- I've been busy.
- I can see that.
You look horrible.
- Thank you.
Look, I would take it as a personal favour if you would make this thing disappear.
Please.
- I will.
Well, I would, but it's not as easy as all that this time.
See, 'cause everybody seems to know that Rebecca had a thing for Aiden, so it's Rebecca and Aiden, Aiden and Rebecca.
We'll get through it.
We always do.
Always will.
- I'm not back, Bishop.
What happened with Rebecca was a mistake.
- Right, happens to all of us.
Somewhere between the tiramisu and the naughty bits, we lose our heads.
It wasn't a mistake, Aiden.
You're a shark.
Be a shark.
- Not anymore.
- All right.
Marcus mentioned your little blood-bank diet.
How's that going? Sit down.
you played at my feet, and now I don't even get basic common courtesy? Huh? I'm worried about you.
- I'm fine.
- Well, you don't look fine.
- What do you want from me, Bishop? You want help with your little recruiting plan? - Who said anything about recruiting? - Marcus told me everything.
- Forget about Marcus.
What I care about is you.
- No, what you care about is control.
The changes that I've made, the life that I'm trying to live, oh, you can't stand that, can you? - OK.
Would you put yourself in my shoes for a second? You don't call.
You don't write.
You move in with a werewolf.
- How did you know that? - I think you have no idea what you're up to.
I think you're lost.
I think if you're not careful, you may never find your way back again.
and that, Aiden, that worries me.
- Is that all? - Would you believe that making you angrier was not the point of all this? - Bishop you can forget about it.
- Aiden.
It's cold out there without us, isn't it? OK.
- Don't you ruin the time.
- Sorry.
- Josh? Josh! Where did you go? - You found me.
Here we are.
- I wasn't looking for you.
Jackie broke her arm "shrooming".
- Jackie, she's- That's your, uh - My girlfriend? - Right.
- Yeah.
- And her arm's OK? - I missed you.
- I miss you too.
- So - So, how is everybody? - Everybody? You mean your family? We've been freaking out for the past 2 years, wondering if you were dead or alive.
Whatever is happening, how can you not say anything to the people who love you? - Why would you- I told you not to worry about me.
- Oh right, your note.
Josh, did you ever think that the one thing not to say to Jewish parents is "don't worry"? Please.
Please, just tell me what's going on with you.
- You wouldn't underand.
- Try.
- You wouldn't.
It's complicated.
- Josh, I'm your sister.
I'm genetically inclined to love you unconditionally.
But I thought we were also friends.
- I'm happy to see you.
Believe it or not, I've really really missed you.
But I kind of need you not to tell anyone that you saw me here.
- What would I tell them anyway? This has been the least satisfying reunion ever.
- I love you.
OK, Em? Just I don't know.
Just try to remember that.
Bravo! Bravo! Don't want to be played out Hello? Hello? I'm calling about your daughter.
- Yes? - She's dead.
- What? Who is this? Hello? Who- - I've tried to leave.
I really have.
I've stood at the door.
I've stuck out a toe.
And I can't stop thinking: If I do step outside what if I just blow away? What if I can never find my way back? What if I never see him again? - Josh? Josh? Josh! - You need to see something.
- What? - You're a lot sloppier than you used to be Aiden.
The girl, they know it was you.
- Josh? - What are we doing here? You told me this was about Rebecca.
- I took care of that.
It's fine.
- I can't be here.
- It breaks me up to see you this way, Aiden.
You can understand that, right? I gave you eternal life.
I want you to live it.
- No, you want me to fall in line.
- I'm not gonna lie to you.
I never have.
Things are about to change.
But that's neither here nor there.
What's important is this: Life doesn't have to be so hard.
Not for us.
Come with me, Aiden.
- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? - You have to leave! You have to leave! - Two years of nothing, and you can't even talk to me? No way! No! - No, no, no! Look, look, I'll, uh I'll come see you.
I'll come see you.
I promise.
I just need to be- I need to be alone right now.
- I know why you ran away, Josh, OK? You think I'm an idiot? Everything was ahead of you, cookie-cutter perfect, just like Mom and Dad.
You panicked.
I geit.
You're not nearly as mysterious as you think you are.
- All right, I hear you.
I really do.
- Why punish me? You were my best friend.
Why shut me out? - Look, Emily, I told you it's comp- It's complicated and- - Are you sick? - I'm sorry.
Just go.
- What are you doing? - You have to go! - Josh! - Oh no! - Welcome back, Mr.
Aiden.
- Come on, Aiden.
Please! Please.
Aaah! - Let me help you! Stay away from me! You stay away from me! Sally.
Sally.
Are you home? Can you hear me? Please, listen to me.
If there's any chance, any way you can leave the house, any way you can find Aiden or find me, tell-tell him I'm in the roo- the room and my sister's here.
And the door's locked.
He'll-he'll know what that means.
Please.
Listen, if Please, if you don't come, if someone doesn't open that door I will kill her.
Sally, please.
- Josh!