Billions (2016) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1 Mmph.
You're in need of correction, aren't you? Yeah.
I might leave marks.
Not a great idea.
That's not a no.
Mnh! Oh! Ohh! That's got to burn.
Let me fix it.
Ahhh.
See, what you have to understand, Michael, is that this is a fucked up free zone.
Guys who sit in Chuck's chair become mayor.
Governor.
We have to be beyond reproach.
So no Tinder at the goddamn office, okay? It feels like yesterday I was telling you all this.
- Mm, 18 months ago.
- Huh.
Added some stuff of my own in there.
Yeah.
Tinder.
I heard.
Come on.
He's waiting.
Well, off the record, the, uh, Attorney General's always happy to take my recommendations on who to appoint to the federal bench.
Uh-huh.
Very good.
Thank you.
Sir.
Okay, guys.
What do we got on deck? Progress report on two of the open investigations.
Ari Spyros from the S.
E.
C Call back.
is here.
I'm sorry, sir.
He he wouldn't It's fine, Kim.
It's okay.
Thank you.
Well, Spyros.
What's the occasion? We're not interviewing right now.
Funny.
Here.
This got your panties all sticky? Drenched.
Suspect trading pattern on Pepsum Pharmaceuticals.
Uh-huh.
One of my grunts riding the Midas spotted a days-long buy spike.
Yeah, get me Spyros.
Take a look.
You can all study the charts, or I can give you the answers to the test.
- Please.
- Lenny Bosco Old Oaks Investments.
Peter Decker Quaker Ridge Financial.
Dan Margolis Century Capital.
These three small firms all knew exactly when to buy and when to sell the stock.
They had inside information.
You must get pings like that every day.
We do.
So? Get them talking and fine them.
It's bigger than that.
All three firms have links to Bobby Axelrod.
Bobby fucking Axelrod.
Man of the people.
You only have that exact look on your face when you're here.
The pizza's just really fucking good.
Take a bite.
Mmm.
It's good.
Good? That is a thing of beauty.
That's why we lived in here when we were kids.
Hey.
I don't usually open for breakfast, guys.
You want another? I do.
We want 'em all.
All? I want to come in with you.
Partner up.
What the fuck did you tell him, kid? I don't want no charity.
Look, all I told him was the truth, Bruno, okay? That I got a call from a guy who said he was coming in here with a falafel shop, and would I contract the rebuild.
And when I asked you about it, you said that you were getting squeezed by a new landlord.
And when I got that call, I made a couple calls of my own.
Falafel shop goes in the mall.
We lock in you in on a 20-year lease, and I cover the overage.
I-I-I don't know, Bobby.
Come on.
What is there to know? You let me slide for weeks without paying when I was coming in here every day after school.
That was just 'cause you were a good customer.
Which I want to keep being.
Nothing changes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'd love to tell you I knew you'd grow up to become what you did, but to be honest, I had no idea.
That makes two of us.
Come here.
Thanks.
Bobby, we are ready to roll on something sweet.
I think you'll want to piggyback.
What do you got? Lumetherm Power getting bought by Electric Sun.
Price is $41.
Stock's trading at $35.
We're looking at a 17% bump in two weeks when the deal closes.
Annualized, that's $442 I'd love to size up.
Maybe you buy 2 million shares for the main fund.
- Sounds about right.
- Great.
Scott Kazawitz's name is being floated as the new chairman.
Kazawitz.
That's a new piece of information.
Well, that's what you pay me for.
Who said this deal is gonna close? Ben said it would this morning.
Me? Everyone's saying it.
Who is this? My new analyst.
Well, if we hired you, you must be a genius.
Yale? Stanford.
Then Wharton.
Okay, Stanford-Wharton.
Electric Sun is controlled by Kazawitz.
He also owns 19.
3% of Lumetherm backdoored through his stake in Southern Wind.
You see that block trade last Thursday come out of Merrill? Yeah.
That was Fortress cashing out their shorts before the merger.
Wasn't it? Trade was at 12:52, when everyone was at lunch, which tells me they wanted it to be missed.
You guys caught it, which is something, I guess.
But you're looking at it backward.
Electric Sun's offer was just a ploy to temporarily prop up Lumetherm.
Typical Kazawitz play to bail on a loser.
He's an animal.
The block trade was Kazawitz getting out of Southern Wind, getting out of Lumetherm.
He rode the story, now he's out, which means you need to be out.
In fact, short.
It'll slide to $32 and change after word breaks.
Wow.
That's a good catch, Axe.
My cholesterol's high enough.
Don't butter my ass, Danzig.
Just get smarter.
Your read was good with the information you had.
You're new.
You'll figure it out.
Or you'll be gone.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
And he went to Hofstra.
This is big.
It's criminal.
And I want to be a part of treeing Bobby Axelrod.
Hey, I want to be an astronaut, but, uh, you know, I get airsick in choppy weather.
Your burden of proof is lower.
They'll talk to you because they're happy to pay a fine and move on.
I'm at the coalface.
And I really don't appreciate you strolling in here and telling me how to deploy my resources because you can't build your own fucking case.
I get it.
You guys are rock stars.
Yeah, we get it.
You want to be one, too.
None of that matters.
Uh, Spyros, if you've locked on to some trail of bread crumbs that leads to Bobby Axelrod, that could be a win for everyone.
So, leave your stuff, we'll take a look, and we'll let you know if it rises to the level that we can prosecute, one that won't be reversed on appeal.
You know, I understand the source of your reluctance.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have a wife, too.
But it's your job Hey, you got your answer.
We're done.
I loved and remember each and every one of your fathers, so I'm proud of all of you who are ready to head off to school in the fall.
26 of ours put through college by the Memorial Foundation so far.
And this year's group so let's bring them up, and let's give them a round of applause for their achievement.
Freddie Aquafino, off to Duke.
Freddie, Freddie.
I traded shoulder to shoulder with your father.
He'd be so proud of you today.
First year's tuition and board.
All right, come here.
That's what this is all about, guys.
Not only how our firm survived 9/11, but how we didn't give up.
How we committed to each other, to our family.
And I am so moved by how we've all flourished together.
Some flourishing more than others.
It's just wrong that you're the one standing there.
All right, that's enough.
No, no.
It's okay.
June I'd feel the same way.
I get it.
You got to be thinking, "Why was he spared? Why is my husband gone?" For months after the planes hit, all I could do was ask myself why.
Why was I the only surviving partner? Why wasn't I there? Could could I have done something? Why was I the only one out of the office on meetings that morning? We'll never know.
So I made up my own "why.
" Because of you.
You put it all on your back, Bobby.
Am I the greatest guy in the world? Hell, no.
I just did what I knew the partners and friends I'd lost would've done for my family.
What your husband would've done, June.
And you know I'm sorry.
'Cause I miss Rake every day just as my beautiful wife, Lara, misses her heroic brother Dean.
Bobby Axelrod is Mike Tyson in his prime.
And you do not want Mike Tyson in his prime.
Remember what happened to the guys who fought him then? Yeah, they got their faces pushed in.
But eventually he got beat.
Buster Douglas knocked him on his ass.
- Right.
- Ketchup? "Eventually" is the key word.
When Tyson was ready to go.
Since my appointment, this office is undefeated in financial prosecutions 81 and 0.
And that's because I know when the time is right.
I get it, but this would be a big one.
Bryan, what do you think happened here this morning? We got significant information.
Maybe.
Or maybe it was Spyros setting us up.
Now, we go in first and lose in the criminal action, Spyros in the S.
E.
C.
can still get him civilly.
Now, we win, Spyros wins.
We lose Spyros still fucking wins.
Damn.
The ketchup's empty.
We've got to be playing three-dimensional chess.
Axe is a folk hero in this town.
The guy gave the New York City Firefighter's Foundation $100 million last year.
Police gave him a plaque at Ground Zero with his goddamn name on it.
Spitzer's name was on all the highway signs, too.
Signs come down.
That's why I love you, man.
But a good matador doesn't try to kill a fresh bull.
You wait until he's been stuck a few times.
We need an opening, however small.
Then we get the guy the moment that he's gettable, just like the others.
But not if there's a chance we lose.
What about the other issue? The one Spyros mentioned home? Was he right about that? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I-I don't - You know what, it's a tough day - I don't know what for everyone.
- Oh! - Just I just had to sell the Oceanis.
Rake just loved that boat.
I am sure that's why it upset you.
You know, me, I never set foot on a yacht until I started dating Bobby.
In Inwood, growing up, the only boating we ever did was the Staten Island Ferry.
Big Irish family.
Five sibs.
Close, though.
Firemen, cops, nurses.
Then, when I moved up here, this world, I saw how everyone looked at me.
I never judged.
Of course not.
So I got my act together.
And I'm comfortable in this life.
But certain things you learn in Inwood, they never leave you you know, like the idea that if someone has a problem with you and they come to you in person, you do what you can to take care of it.
But if they take that beef public, the ground just falls out from beneath them where I'm from.
You find yourself all alone.
Are you threatening me? You're fucking right I am.
It's how I grew up.
Excuse me, sir? Yes? I may be speaking out of turn I probably shouldn't have even been in the room where Axelrod was discussed but you know the Norton place out at the beach? - Why would we? - Not you.
The U.
S.
Attorney.
His father's house is around the jetty.
Yes, I know the house.
What? I just heard Bobby Axelrod is trying to buy it.
Where did you hear that? Court clerk's cousin works for the realtor and mentioned it.
- How much? - $83 million.
Really? That would be widely reported.
Widely.
People hate guys who buy things like that.
I just lost my mojo somewhere along the line.
It's fucking gone.
And you're Mrs.
Mojo, so I booked the appointment.
It's Dr.
Mojo.
Right.
I hear it happens to guys my age.
Maybe I'm depressed.
Maybe I should try some Prozac, Effexor Uh-huh.
We'll get to that.
Now, have you been eating, sleeping, exercising? Yeah, more or less.
Maybe not so much with the sleeping.
And things with your wife? Okay, mostly.
Sex? Normal.
I've been married 10 years, so So down to just once a day.
So, it's really just the book? I'm down 4% year to date.
Everyone else is up double digits.
I'm down.
- I'm fucked.
- You don't need meds.
You're just listening to the wrong voice.
You're tuned into the one yelling at you over the loudspeaker that you're fucking stupid and your performance blows.
And you're ignoring the quiet one inside telling you where the alpha is.
Now, that's the voice that got you here.
And it's still there if you're willing to listen.
What's that voice telling you? That even though I've stiffed a few that I'm pretty damn good.
Unh-unh.
Stand up.
Stand up.
What'd you take down last year? $7.
2 million.
$7.
2 million.
$7.
2 mill feel that.
$7.
2 million.
Bring it close.
$7.
2 million.
So, what's it saying? - That I'm awesome.
- There you go.
And what does it have to say back to that loud, critical voice? It's saying, "Fuck you.
" Good! Sit down.
Now, I want you to go back to your Bloomberg and cut bait on your losers you know the ones.
The ones you've been defending, hoping they'll come 'round, but, secretly, you know never will.
I want you to just commit that you're in it for the long haul, that you will succeed.
And once you do that, the new ideas, the winners, will present themselves because you are a winner.
You're in the Special Forces here.
You are a Navy SEAL.
And there's a reason for that.
Did the S.
E.
A.
L.
s make a mistake signing you up? No.
They did not.
The S.
E.
A.
L.
s don't make mistakes.
So get out there and do what needs to be done.
We have to stop here.
Hello, guys.
- Daddy! - Oh, how are you? Hm? How was school? What'd you get up to? - It was boring.
- It was boring.
Boring.
Fantastic.
Money well spent.
Those go off after dinner, okay? Okay! Hey, babe.
Hi, honey.
What are you working on? Just session notes.
Oh.
Wall-to-wall oedipal complexes making them all go limp? Pfft! You have an amazing understanding of people.
What are we drinking, here? - The usual.
- Mmm.
How's crime fighting? The usual.
Mm.
You good with your situation? I know you said you might've been feeling bored a while back.
That's not exactly what I said.
Hmm.
You said, uh, you weren't sure if you were still growing.
What's this about? I was talking to the head counsel of G.
E.
, and they're looking for a new head of H.
R.
I can put in the word if you want it.
Uh Is there s is there some reason I can't keep doing my job? No.
What do you mean? I heard about a position, so I presented it.
Don't you get enough of moving the pieces around the board at work? Okay.
You don't want to hear about opportunities, fine.
Are you prosecuting somebody at Axe? What's going on, Chuck? First off, no.
And second, you know that we don't discuss that.
So quit your fucking job.
Hey, Kev, will you take your sister upstairs and, uh, start the bath? I'll be up in a minute, okay? Thank you.
Take it easy, okay? I'm the goddamn U.
S.
Attorney, Wendy.
So? I've been working there since before we were married and long before you were in office.
Look, not that we're there, but we did always discuss that the day might come when there was a conflict.
That was before I was making eight times what you make.
And before you started making Chuck Sr.
plays like this.
Leave him out of it.
Okay? And who makes more money? Really? Is this, uh, what we're teaching the kids? Oh, are we teaching them that Daddy's job is always more important that Mommy's? I work for the public good.
No, you work for the good of Chuck Rhoades.
Maybe sometimes they intersect.
Oh, my God.
Would you turn off your fucking shrink switch? Mm-hmm.
Let's take this down a notch.
Yeah.
I just I don't know where all this is coming from, and you know I don't like to be manipulated.
I'm not manipulating.
Not that that's what you were doing, but that's what I felt like.
And of course your job's important.
You're a superhero.
And I'm super proud of you.
But my thing matters to me, too.
Of course.
You're killing it.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Watch it, there, Elmo! No! Get down, boy! Easy, big guy.
Ah, let him be.
Hey, let him be.
Let him be.
It's okay.
Let him go free.
- He's a live wire, that one.
- Ooh, yeah.
He chewed up a custom sofa.
We've got to calm him down.
Send him to obedience school.
He's going to the vet to get fixed.
Ooh.
Enjoy, guys.
All right, boys.
What do we say to Chef Ryan? Thank you! Boys, boys, look.
Look.
Look at this.
Look, look.
He's marking his territory.
He's peeing on the furniture.
Yeah.
Yeah, but he's showing Ryan who's boss.
That's why it's called a pissing contest when two men try and stake out their turf.
I don't love it when men do that, either.
Elmo, outside now! Come on.
Poor guy.
Dean, seventh president.
Hint two after Monroe.
Jackson.
Andrew Jackson.
Gordie, where was he from? Let's talk Yankees.
'Cause you don't know.
Don't switch the subject.
I do know.
Prove it.
Seattle? There was no Seattle back then, idiot.
I bet I'll get it on the next guess.
- Bet you don't.
- How much? 10 push-ups.
Deal.
Border areas near the Carolinas.
You can't fall for that every time, Dean.
See, he knows his customer, and he sets you up.
He's willing to look foolish short-term to win long-term.
You got to remember that.
And, Gordie, don't sucker your brother.
All right, come on.
Pay your bet.
We don't welsh.
See what you got.
One.
Two.
Lower.
Three.
Sir? The leniency conference starts in 10 minutes.
Afternoon.
Thank you for agreeing to see us.
What the fuck are you doing here, Dad? Trying to get me disbarred? Christ.
You're more dramatic than your mother.
We are not breaking any rules or regulations.
Mr.
Rhoades is not being compensated to appear here.
Oh, I know how careful he is and why you brought him.
But believe me, it's already backfired.
Hear us out.
Skip knows that he did wrong.
Now that he's been, uh, convicted, sure.
But when he had a chance to plead out That's the past.
Right now, we are trying to set something up that will allow Skip to show his rehabilitation and for him to contribute to society.
By what? Oh, I know.
Uh, paying a bigger fine in exchange for reduced jail time? What are we talking about, uh, $5 million? We were going to suggest $10 million in exchange for house arrest.
Which represents a far more reasonable settlement than Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, that way, instead of worrying about actually going to prison, you can get right to doing charitable works and warning your buddies about the pitfalls of being a bad actor.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
This is Skip.
And it is a fair offer.
Yeah, it sounds reasonable.
And it's the type of deal that has been made in this library countless times by my predecessors, but not by me.
You don't buy your way out of justice here.
You thought, because of our history, bringing my father, this would afford you some kind of a fucking courtesy? No.
He volunteered.
Well, you all miscalculated badly.
You know, instead of using my father, you should've emulated him and built your fortune without crossing the line.
You didn't.
So now your cronies are gonna see that they better not trade on inside information or abuse their positions, or they're gonna end up like you.
Broke, humiliated, and incarcerated as per the law.
I am not prepared for this.
I I can't.
Please.
Chuck you know I am not a bad man.
I can't.
This was to be about leniency.
Have some mercy.
My father always told me that "mercy" was a word that pussies used when they couldn't take the pain.
I love you, Dad.
But if you walk into my office and try to use your influence again, you are gonna walk out of here in handcuffs.
Mr.
Wolkowska Skip.
I've known you since I was a boy.
I remember you and my dad exchanging sets on the tennis court out East.
I never wanted to see you like this.
I never wanted you to.
Yeah, but here we are.
So please hear this.
I know that you have the strength to get through it and come out the other side a better man.
I wish you well.
Hey.
Yo, Axe.
Really? Here? They were gonna obliterate each other on Superior Auto.
Has to be your call.
We've got to stay long, Superior.
We should increase our position, I think.
You think? Aluminum wheels for cars and light-duty trucks have totally replaced steel.
And the numbers out of the factory are telling me Superior is producing the shit out of them.
"Dollar" Bill What does the cheapest man in America think? That "The Pouch" is wrong.
Numbers out of the factory tell me that they over-produced this quarter.
They're stuck with merch they can't move, and the stock's gonna dip.
Short.
What's your level of certainty? I am not uncertain.
We're done here.
Why didn't you tell me you were certain? Why would I? Do your own fucking work.
Okay, come on! Any time you can disrupt a criminal enterprise, that's a good result, and that is what happened here.
Once again, over 400 kilos of cocaine, dozens of weapons seized.
$2.
8 million off the streets in this takedown.
All defendants have been indicted and are also off the streets.
Mr.
Rhoades! All right.
Thanks, guys.
You're proud about small-time convictions - of small-time players - Hey, hey.
That's enough.
uneducated minorities with limited options.
- That's enough.
- What about the hundreds of millions billions in fraudulent gains in the financial sector? Why aren't you prosecuting the investment banks and hedge funds for insider trading? You're bragging about netting minnows, but you won't touch a firm like Axe Capital.
My office is soft on financial crime.
Go ask the 81 convicted felons of financial crimes currently serving time.
But you have a very specific conflict of interest right in your own home.
Growing up, I saw firsthand the corrosive power that big business can have, and I am determined to check that.
Take Skip Wolkowska.
Now, he has many influential friends, but their entreaties on his behalf were not entertained.
As your own paper reported, Mr.
Wolkowska will serve his full sentence, effective immediately.
That's all the time I really have.
Thanks.
Who let The fucking Journal in with the blindsided questions? He was not supposed to That guy you know over at Skadden on Axe's team Yeah, Orrin Bach.
He was my law professor.
Yeah.
Get with him.
And tell him to tell Axe not to buy that house.
Not to buy? Nice.
I need Spyros at the S.
E.
C.
- Spyros.
- Do you know the story about the mouse that starts roaring like a lion? No.
Yeah.
It doesn't end well for the goddamn mouse.
Do the people you work with pretend they're impressed when you speak in riddles like some kung-fu instructor from the movies? Well, let me be direct.
I know you sent that reporter in to ask about Axe Capital.
Why would I do that? We're on the same side.
You're on your side.
I'm on mine.
Well, we can both benefit.
And besides, it's the right thing to do.
Spyros, you wouldn't know the right thing to do if it kneeled down and sucked your tiny goddamn cock! You pull any shit like that again and I will loose holy fucking hell on you! So, this is how a man with no conscience spends his time.
It's how a grown-up does.
You know, I remember when you were my professor, you told us a lawyer's calling was beyond mere recompense.
It was to serve the spirit of the law regardless of gain.
Yeah.
It is.
Until it's not.
What? You'll see.
Once you sell out and play for the defense, too.
Nah, I've found my calling.
Okay, Claude Dancer.
One day you'll be coming to me just like this, asking for a job.
The good news is this when you get out of there, you're starting at $1.
4, easy.
Nail a few headline cases $1.
7.
Better news? I'll hire you.
I'm staying.
No, you're not.
Hey, speaking of headlines, is this shit we're hearing about the beach house real? 'Cause that's a headline you don't want.
Since when's a rich guy buying a house illegal? There's the way things look and the way things are.
You taught me that.
It's like he's slapping my guy in the face with a white glove.
You know what happens next.
If there were any doubt, we'd tie him to his chair.
World's full of snipers.
But Bobby runs a clean shop.
So he just keeps a top defense firm on retainer at $800 an hour because he loves lawyers? Must be.
And we're $1,000 an hour.
There's nothing there.
Like Warren Buffett says, you put a police car on anyone's tail for 500 miles, he's gonna get a ticket.
Hey.
Come in.
Bite? Oh, God, no.
I'm glad you came in.
I was gonna come see you.
About? A purchase I'm considering.
An impulse purchase? Naturally.
Sizeable? I'm guessing it's something you may not even particularly need.
People are saying if I do, it'll unleash the hounds which makes me want it even more.
That's good.
Back when we started, you wouldn't have been able to recognize the motivation until long after you bought it.
Well, back when we started, I was just rich, not super-rich.
You know, being a billionaire I never get to talk about this with anyone 'cause who's gonna give a shit? But being a billionaire, when you walk into a room, it's like being a woman with a perfect set of tits.
Or great legs.
Or eyes like yours.
You know exactly what everyone's looking at, and you know exactly what they want.
You know what that's like.
Okay, player.
Identifying the fact that buying can be a surrogate for power and that outside authority isn't something you do well, this is progress.
You've come a long way since we started.
I guess considering when we started I was staggering around crying along with the half of us still breathing.
But knowing isn't enough.
You've got to exercise control.
Don't get into a bitch fight over nothing.
Don't buy it.
You nailed Lumetherm Power.
Deal crumbled.
I covered at $31.
19.
Nice.
You said $32-ish, but I saw it was going even further, so I waited.
Whoa, living dangerously.
All right.
Good job.
You just made us another $18 million.
Yeah.
Thanks.
We got sidetracked.
You came to me.
You're thinking about leaving.
Uh, well, it's crossed my mind.
Is this about comp? No.
God, no.
You've you've always made that clear.
I'm better paid than anyone in my med-school class except the guy who invented the synthetic bladder.
I'll short his company, give some speeches, chop him down to size.
It's not about comp.
But it is about value mine and growth, as in whether I'm still growing.
I love this place, but I do miss seeing more than a handful of other patients.
At-risk adolescents, women in crisis.
You know, using those other muscles.
Where's this coming from? It's been on my mind.
Your value to the firm is absolute.
You just saved me from making a huge mistake for dick-measuring purposes.
So let's do this.
Spend as much time away from here as you want.
See other patients outside.
But stick with me.
Thank you.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, dear.
I hear you've been very busy.
Yeah.
- He's in the den.
- Okay.
What the hell was that stunt? Skip Wolkowska's an old friend.
He asked for help.
I didn't want to refuse.
But I was 90% sure you'd react the way you did.
It's a win any way you look at it.
How is that a win? I knew that Skip's lawyer would spread it, and it'd land in the news.
And if you treat me that way, they'll all fear you.
That's what you need right now.
You'll be seen as tough on Wall Street.
Hmm.
Some audible to call.
You're welcome.
Now, listen.
You didn't smile enough during the presser.
You let them get to you.
You're right.
And I didn't like that question about Axe Capital.
- What prompted that? - Spyros planted it.
S.
E.
C.
wants me to move on Axe.
It's difficult to convict a popular man.
Yes, I know.
Well, if you move on him and take that risk, you have to get the reward.
You can let the S.
E.
C.
do the mopping up, collect their fines, but they can't be seen as leading it.
A lot of people have Axelrod's back in this city.
He's made them a lot of money.
And you know the line if you're gonna strike against the king.
The King is house shopping right now.
Prime beachfront, heritage.
Hasn't even come on market yet.
That's a mistake.
A conspicuous buy like that in the news? He goes from a billionaire that you can pull for to just another rich asshole.
If he turns the populous against him, he gives his edge to you.
I passed word that, uh, he shouldn't buy it.
If he's innocent, he passes, because he's a disciplined player and he knows that's the disciplined move.
But a guilty man, he buys that house to show me he's got nothing to hide.
Smart.
Maybe I can have a friend make a bid, get the competitive juices flowing.
I like that.
Roger could always use a new house.
And I know Denny Dantone is actively looking.
You guys know I only drag food into this room for the Super Bowl.
Come on, Charles.
I made the pot pies.
I should have some time with my son.
We'll be right there.
Your mother.
That's a loyal woman.
Don't.
I'm just saying that your mother would never let her job interf She never left the kitchen, Dad.
That's what you wanted in a wife, not me.
Still, Wendy's making things difficult for you.
Why is she still working? We started to discuss it.
Legally, there's no conflict yet.
She'll do the right thing.
Better hope so, son.
Danny fucking Margolis.
What brings you back? When I saw you at Sun Valley, you said you were happy as a clam in shit at Century.
Well, I am.
I was.
You know how it is.
Things are good there.
I like Jerry, but I miss the family.
Well, you had to go it on your own with a bigger chunk of the pie.
Yeah, true.
Place looks great, by the way.
Is that your rolling art out front? The Lambo? No.
I like to sit tall in the seat.
Look, um, I have some ideas, and I'd love to share them with you.
I'd love to hear them.
Come to the next dinner.
We'll bang some steaks, talk some concepts.
Yeah, okay.
But I was just hoping that maybe, you know No, I know what you were hoping.
Door's always open.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's cool, Bobby.
I-I will.
Uh, take care.
Hall.
I need to see you.
This is cozy.
It's secure.
I checked with my sources in Washington.
There's no case file against you, but Dan Margolis was arrested.
He was released on his lawyer's recognizance, and his arraignment's currently on hold.
Which tells you what? That he's cooperating.
Did you hear it okay? How the hell did you know? He was making too much eye contact.
Barely blinked.
And his pulse was hammering like he was running a marathon.
You were smart to stay quiet.
Look, the S.
E.
C.
isn't the thing.
Fines are a part of life.
The attack you have to worry about is the U.
S.
Attorney's.
Now, here's what you're gonna do.
One that reporter from The Journal, the one that was asking about you, he needs to be handled.
I would do it myself, but then he's out of the game.
No value added.
Better if you make him your best friend.
And two remember, you don't have to outswim the shark.
You just have to outswim the guy you're scuba diving with.
You want me to do that? You remember that night in Reykjavik? Wish I didn't, but I do.
You said there was only one thing you were afraid of.
Windbreakers.
Guys in windbreakers walking in your office saying, "Step away from the computer.
" And you told me you'd make sure it wouldn't happen.
So, let me make sure.
Look there.
Steven Birch? It's either him or you.
- Memorize that.
- Well, if it's gonna be someone, it may as well be that fraud.
We're sharing the stage at the Delivering Alpha Conference this week.
He acts like he's my best friend despite short squeezing me on HMOs last year.
So do it.
Hall.
Wendy Rhoades tried to quit today.
We've been fighting back-to-back in the trenches for 15 years.
But today she tried to quit.
Still trust her? I want to.
I didn't know this place was open for lunch.
It's not.
- Thanks, Tony.
- My pleasure, Mr.
Axelrod.
We're off the record.
If you fuck me, I never talk to you again.
Got it.
Good.
If you ever want to come here, just call me.
Now, why was my name coming out of your mouth at a press conference? Hey, that was before you asked me to lunch.
Jump in.
Let's talk about those kids you put through college.
That's the one question gets me walking away from the table.
That's between them and me.
I don't talk about it with anyone else.
Bon appétit.
What's next? Softball.
Underhand.
Give me some insight into how you process information.
The press acts like information's a dirty word.
Everyone has access to the information.
We just know how to analyze it better.
You answer me one.
When did it become a crime to succeed in this country? America used to salute the guy in the limousine.
They wanted to be the guy in the limousine.
They still want to.
But now they throw eggs at it.
I only ever went egging once.
Biggest house in the neighborhood, and they never gave out any candy, so they deserved it.
We destroyed that place.
Once? You're an altar boy.
That was every Halloween for me.
You're from around here, right? Yeah, Grand Concourse.
Then White Plains.
Yeah, me too.
Well, Yonkers, but it wasn't nice back then.
Hey, man, Yonkers used to be a place where you could really get your ass kicked.
You're a good kid for a fucking hack.
And you're a good guy for a bankster.
All right, fuck it.
I wasn't gonna give you this, but you're here for a story and now I like you, so - Steven Birch.
- Piedmont Capital.
Yeah.
That swap deal he did on Arcadian Rail Road the timing is very curious.
What kind of swap? I'm not gonna write the article for you.
Do an autopsy on the deal, you'll find yourself a Pulitzer in the carcass.
Here's my cell.
Don't call until the market closes.
No voicemail.
- No E-mail.
- Understood.
Enjoy your lunch.
How do you respond to the criticism that hedge funds are the scavengers of the financial sector and that a select few have undue influence on the markets? Any public statement you make or position you take can send a stock soaring or falling.
We're not scavengers.
We're white blood cells scrubbing out bad companies, earning for our investors, preventing bubbles.
Excuse me.
A hedge fund like mine is a market regulator.
I want people like Bobby Axelrod on that wall.
I need them on that wall.
Axe makes my life easier by shouting if he sees something.
The moment I let someone in a boardroom or a government office tell me what I can or cannot buy, I may as well close the shop, and I'm not closing the shop.
Let's touch on the role of the activist investor in today's market.
I'm not just playing for myself.
I'm playing for all shareholders, like my good friend Steven Birch here.
Bobby Axelrod, Steven Birch, thanks to you both.
Um, that, uh, thing we were talking about, they are levered four to one.
When their accounting comes out, it's not gonna look pretty, right? Those fucking guys.
I wasn't told.
I don't know why Brooks saved those seats for them.
I'm gonna find him and skin his ass.
Enough.
I'm gonna get me that scalp.
You crushed it.
Crushed.
Let's get out of this ratfuck.
Watch out.
He may buy the building.
It's an A-minus building.
Needs overhaul.
He doesn't consider anything less than triple-A.
- Yet he hired you.
- Easy, Bryan.
Learn anything from my talk? Volumes.
You staying for mine? I know your act.
You sending me messages? 'Cause I'm here.
Well, the kids in my office really thought you might buy that house.
I told them you got big balls, but not that big.
Yeah, right.
I'll probably pass.
It's so nice, though, you know.
Feels like you're part of the beach and ocean.
And all that air out there shit, you know about it.
He must let you use a bedroom some weekends if you say please.
Walk away.
I should.
But then again, what's the point of having "fuck you" money if you never say "fuck you"? You're a smart man.
So you know when I bring an action, not some county or even state, it's the United States versus.
Don't give me a reason.
Oh, I know who brings an action.
And I know what you feel about your perfect record, too.
You can't afford a mark in the loss column.
There's a saying in baseball.
Towns fire managers.
Owners just give them the bad news.
You're the only one running the big money they cheer for.
But that's because you worked that 9/11 shit Fuck yourself.
I have never sent out a single press release, given one interview.
I lost every one of my friends that day.
And you've managed to make some new ones since.
But like I said, they may be cheering now, but believe me, they are dying to boo.
And now from the other side, the man whose job is to ride herd over the bulls and bears, Yeah.
Denny Dantone's coming in with an offer on the Norton house $62 million.
Prepared to close in less than a week, I hear.
How the fuck did he see it? He didn't.
He knew the house.
Been to parties there.
Son of a bitch.
Hey, babe.
Hey, babe.
What the hell's wrong with Elmo? He went to the vet to get fixed, remember? The house, I want it.
Okay, let's take a beat.
People are gonna say that They might.
Offer $63 million cash.
Take it or leave it on the call.
Wire goes out first thing.
Yeah.
Mike Dimonda from The Journal.
Sorry to wake you.
I was up.
I'm calling for comment.
On? Skip Wolkowska, your father's friend, committed suicide.
No comment.
Shh, shh.
Rough morning.
But a reminder like this is useful.
What we do has consequences, intended and, uh unintended.
The decisions we make, the actions we bring, have weight.
I'll have to carry this one.
So would I have given a break to some drug dealer? No.
So, why would I give one to a businessman? None of this should change your mission.
Come to work every day and be just and strong in the actions you bring, and don't waver.
All right, that's it.
Back to work.
This'll cheer you up.
Front fucking page of the Post.
It's like he's daring you.
Gotcha! You like it? I love it.
Hey! Hall.
What do you got? There's movement.
It's likely they've opened a case file on you.
You know what? I'm ready.
They could be coming after you.
Fuck 'em.
You waited up.
I made sure the kids were asleep.
I wanted to see you.
Me too.
That hurts.
I'll bet it does.
You're in need of correction, aren't you? Yeah.
I might leave marks.
Not a great idea.
That's not a no.
Mnh! Oh! Ohh! That's got to burn.
Let me fix it.
Ahhh.
See, what you have to understand, Michael, is that this is a fucked up free zone.
Guys who sit in Chuck's chair become mayor.
Governor.
We have to be beyond reproach.
So no Tinder at the goddamn office, okay? It feels like yesterday I was telling you all this.
- Mm, 18 months ago.
- Huh.
Added some stuff of my own in there.
Yeah.
Tinder.
I heard.
Come on.
He's waiting.
Well, off the record, the, uh, Attorney General's always happy to take my recommendations on who to appoint to the federal bench.
Uh-huh.
Very good.
Thank you.
Sir.
Okay, guys.
What do we got on deck? Progress report on two of the open investigations.
Ari Spyros from the S.
E.
C Call back.
is here.
I'm sorry, sir.
He he wouldn't It's fine, Kim.
It's okay.
Thank you.
Well, Spyros.
What's the occasion? We're not interviewing right now.
Funny.
Here.
This got your panties all sticky? Drenched.
Suspect trading pattern on Pepsum Pharmaceuticals.
Uh-huh.
One of my grunts riding the Midas spotted a days-long buy spike.
Yeah, get me Spyros.
Take a look.
You can all study the charts, or I can give you the answers to the test.
- Please.
- Lenny Bosco Old Oaks Investments.
Peter Decker Quaker Ridge Financial.
Dan Margolis Century Capital.
These three small firms all knew exactly when to buy and when to sell the stock.
They had inside information.
You must get pings like that every day.
We do.
So? Get them talking and fine them.
It's bigger than that.
All three firms have links to Bobby Axelrod.
Bobby fucking Axelrod.
Man of the people.
You only have that exact look on your face when you're here.
The pizza's just really fucking good.
Take a bite.
Mmm.
It's good.
Good? That is a thing of beauty.
That's why we lived in here when we were kids.
Hey.
I don't usually open for breakfast, guys.
You want another? I do.
We want 'em all.
All? I want to come in with you.
Partner up.
What the fuck did you tell him, kid? I don't want no charity.
Look, all I told him was the truth, Bruno, okay? That I got a call from a guy who said he was coming in here with a falafel shop, and would I contract the rebuild.
And when I asked you about it, you said that you were getting squeezed by a new landlord.
And when I got that call, I made a couple calls of my own.
Falafel shop goes in the mall.
We lock in you in on a 20-year lease, and I cover the overage.
I-I-I don't know, Bobby.
Come on.
What is there to know? You let me slide for weeks without paying when I was coming in here every day after school.
That was just 'cause you were a good customer.
Which I want to keep being.
Nothing changes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'd love to tell you I knew you'd grow up to become what you did, but to be honest, I had no idea.
That makes two of us.
Come here.
Thanks.
Bobby, we are ready to roll on something sweet.
I think you'll want to piggyback.
What do you got? Lumetherm Power getting bought by Electric Sun.
Price is $41.
Stock's trading at $35.
We're looking at a 17% bump in two weeks when the deal closes.
Annualized, that's $442 I'd love to size up.
Maybe you buy 2 million shares for the main fund.
- Sounds about right.
- Great.
Scott Kazawitz's name is being floated as the new chairman.
Kazawitz.
That's a new piece of information.
Well, that's what you pay me for.
Who said this deal is gonna close? Ben said it would this morning.
Me? Everyone's saying it.
Who is this? My new analyst.
Well, if we hired you, you must be a genius.
Yale? Stanford.
Then Wharton.
Okay, Stanford-Wharton.
Electric Sun is controlled by Kazawitz.
He also owns 19.
3% of Lumetherm backdoored through his stake in Southern Wind.
You see that block trade last Thursday come out of Merrill? Yeah.
That was Fortress cashing out their shorts before the merger.
Wasn't it? Trade was at 12:52, when everyone was at lunch, which tells me they wanted it to be missed.
You guys caught it, which is something, I guess.
But you're looking at it backward.
Electric Sun's offer was just a ploy to temporarily prop up Lumetherm.
Typical Kazawitz play to bail on a loser.
He's an animal.
The block trade was Kazawitz getting out of Southern Wind, getting out of Lumetherm.
He rode the story, now he's out, which means you need to be out.
In fact, short.
It'll slide to $32 and change after word breaks.
Wow.
That's a good catch, Axe.
My cholesterol's high enough.
Don't butter my ass, Danzig.
Just get smarter.
Your read was good with the information you had.
You're new.
You'll figure it out.
Or you'll be gone.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
And he went to Hofstra.
This is big.
It's criminal.
And I want to be a part of treeing Bobby Axelrod.
Hey, I want to be an astronaut, but, uh, you know, I get airsick in choppy weather.
Your burden of proof is lower.
They'll talk to you because they're happy to pay a fine and move on.
I'm at the coalface.
And I really don't appreciate you strolling in here and telling me how to deploy my resources because you can't build your own fucking case.
I get it.
You guys are rock stars.
Yeah, we get it.
You want to be one, too.
None of that matters.
Uh, Spyros, if you've locked on to some trail of bread crumbs that leads to Bobby Axelrod, that could be a win for everyone.
So, leave your stuff, we'll take a look, and we'll let you know if it rises to the level that we can prosecute, one that won't be reversed on appeal.
You know, I understand the source of your reluctance.
- Mm-hmm.
- I have a wife, too.
But it's your job Hey, you got your answer.
We're done.
I loved and remember each and every one of your fathers, so I'm proud of all of you who are ready to head off to school in the fall.
26 of ours put through college by the Memorial Foundation so far.
And this year's group so let's bring them up, and let's give them a round of applause for their achievement.
Freddie Aquafino, off to Duke.
Freddie, Freddie.
I traded shoulder to shoulder with your father.
He'd be so proud of you today.
First year's tuition and board.
All right, come here.
That's what this is all about, guys.
Not only how our firm survived 9/11, but how we didn't give up.
How we committed to each other, to our family.
And I am so moved by how we've all flourished together.
Some flourishing more than others.
It's just wrong that you're the one standing there.
All right, that's enough.
No, no.
It's okay.
June I'd feel the same way.
I get it.
You got to be thinking, "Why was he spared? Why is my husband gone?" For months after the planes hit, all I could do was ask myself why.
Why was I the only surviving partner? Why wasn't I there? Could could I have done something? Why was I the only one out of the office on meetings that morning? We'll never know.
So I made up my own "why.
" Because of you.
You put it all on your back, Bobby.
Am I the greatest guy in the world? Hell, no.
I just did what I knew the partners and friends I'd lost would've done for my family.
What your husband would've done, June.
And you know I'm sorry.
'Cause I miss Rake every day just as my beautiful wife, Lara, misses her heroic brother Dean.
Bobby Axelrod is Mike Tyson in his prime.
And you do not want Mike Tyson in his prime.
Remember what happened to the guys who fought him then? Yeah, they got their faces pushed in.
But eventually he got beat.
Buster Douglas knocked him on his ass.
- Right.
- Ketchup? "Eventually" is the key word.
When Tyson was ready to go.
Since my appointment, this office is undefeated in financial prosecutions 81 and 0.
And that's because I know when the time is right.
I get it, but this would be a big one.
Bryan, what do you think happened here this morning? We got significant information.
Maybe.
Or maybe it was Spyros setting us up.
Now, we go in first and lose in the criminal action, Spyros in the S.
E.
C.
can still get him civilly.
Now, we win, Spyros wins.
We lose Spyros still fucking wins.
Damn.
The ketchup's empty.
We've got to be playing three-dimensional chess.
Axe is a folk hero in this town.
The guy gave the New York City Firefighter's Foundation $100 million last year.
Police gave him a plaque at Ground Zero with his goddamn name on it.
Spitzer's name was on all the highway signs, too.
Signs come down.
That's why I love you, man.
But a good matador doesn't try to kill a fresh bull.
You wait until he's been stuck a few times.
We need an opening, however small.
Then we get the guy the moment that he's gettable, just like the others.
But not if there's a chance we lose.
What about the other issue? The one Spyros mentioned home? Was he right about that? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I-I don't - You know what, it's a tough day - I don't know what for everyone.
- Oh! - Just I just had to sell the Oceanis.
Rake just loved that boat.
I am sure that's why it upset you.
You know, me, I never set foot on a yacht until I started dating Bobby.
In Inwood, growing up, the only boating we ever did was the Staten Island Ferry.
Big Irish family.
Five sibs.
Close, though.
Firemen, cops, nurses.
Then, when I moved up here, this world, I saw how everyone looked at me.
I never judged.
Of course not.
So I got my act together.
And I'm comfortable in this life.
But certain things you learn in Inwood, they never leave you you know, like the idea that if someone has a problem with you and they come to you in person, you do what you can to take care of it.
But if they take that beef public, the ground just falls out from beneath them where I'm from.
You find yourself all alone.
Are you threatening me? You're fucking right I am.
It's how I grew up.
Excuse me, sir? Yes? I may be speaking out of turn I probably shouldn't have even been in the room where Axelrod was discussed but you know the Norton place out at the beach? - Why would we? - Not you.
The U.
S.
Attorney.
His father's house is around the jetty.
Yes, I know the house.
What? I just heard Bobby Axelrod is trying to buy it.
Where did you hear that? Court clerk's cousin works for the realtor and mentioned it.
- How much? - $83 million.
Really? That would be widely reported.
Widely.
People hate guys who buy things like that.
I just lost my mojo somewhere along the line.
It's fucking gone.
And you're Mrs.
Mojo, so I booked the appointment.
It's Dr.
Mojo.
Right.
I hear it happens to guys my age.
Maybe I'm depressed.
Maybe I should try some Prozac, Effexor Uh-huh.
We'll get to that.
Now, have you been eating, sleeping, exercising? Yeah, more or less.
Maybe not so much with the sleeping.
And things with your wife? Okay, mostly.
Sex? Normal.
I've been married 10 years, so So down to just once a day.
So, it's really just the book? I'm down 4% year to date.
Everyone else is up double digits.
I'm down.
- I'm fucked.
- You don't need meds.
You're just listening to the wrong voice.
You're tuned into the one yelling at you over the loudspeaker that you're fucking stupid and your performance blows.
And you're ignoring the quiet one inside telling you where the alpha is.
Now, that's the voice that got you here.
And it's still there if you're willing to listen.
What's that voice telling you? That even though I've stiffed a few that I'm pretty damn good.
Unh-unh.
Stand up.
Stand up.
What'd you take down last year? $7.
2 million.
$7.
2 million.
$7.
2 mill feel that.
$7.
2 million.
Bring it close.
$7.
2 million.
So, what's it saying? - That I'm awesome.
- There you go.
And what does it have to say back to that loud, critical voice? It's saying, "Fuck you.
" Good! Sit down.
Now, I want you to go back to your Bloomberg and cut bait on your losers you know the ones.
The ones you've been defending, hoping they'll come 'round, but, secretly, you know never will.
I want you to just commit that you're in it for the long haul, that you will succeed.
And once you do that, the new ideas, the winners, will present themselves because you are a winner.
You're in the Special Forces here.
You are a Navy SEAL.
And there's a reason for that.
Did the S.
E.
A.
L.
s make a mistake signing you up? No.
They did not.
The S.
E.
A.
L.
s don't make mistakes.
So get out there and do what needs to be done.
We have to stop here.
Hello, guys.
- Daddy! - Oh, how are you? Hm? How was school? What'd you get up to? - It was boring.
- It was boring.
Boring.
Fantastic.
Money well spent.
Those go off after dinner, okay? Okay! Hey, babe.
Hi, honey.
What are you working on? Just session notes.
Oh.
Wall-to-wall oedipal complexes making them all go limp? Pfft! You have an amazing understanding of people.
What are we drinking, here? - The usual.
- Mmm.
How's crime fighting? The usual.
Mm.
You good with your situation? I know you said you might've been feeling bored a while back.
That's not exactly what I said.
Hmm.
You said, uh, you weren't sure if you were still growing.
What's this about? I was talking to the head counsel of G.
E.
, and they're looking for a new head of H.
R.
I can put in the word if you want it.
Uh Is there s is there some reason I can't keep doing my job? No.
What do you mean? I heard about a position, so I presented it.
Don't you get enough of moving the pieces around the board at work? Okay.
You don't want to hear about opportunities, fine.
Are you prosecuting somebody at Axe? What's going on, Chuck? First off, no.
And second, you know that we don't discuss that.
So quit your fucking job.
Hey, Kev, will you take your sister upstairs and, uh, start the bath? I'll be up in a minute, okay? Thank you.
Take it easy, okay? I'm the goddamn U.
S.
Attorney, Wendy.
So? I've been working there since before we were married and long before you were in office.
Look, not that we're there, but we did always discuss that the day might come when there was a conflict.
That was before I was making eight times what you make.
And before you started making Chuck Sr.
plays like this.
Leave him out of it.
Okay? And who makes more money? Really? Is this, uh, what we're teaching the kids? Oh, are we teaching them that Daddy's job is always more important that Mommy's? I work for the public good.
No, you work for the good of Chuck Rhoades.
Maybe sometimes they intersect.
Oh, my God.
Would you turn off your fucking shrink switch? Mm-hmm.
Let's take this down a notch.
Yeah.
I just I don't know where all this is coming from, and you know I don't like to be manipulated.
I'm not manipulating.
Not that that's what you were doing, but that's what I felt like.
And of course your job's important.
You're a superhero.
And I'm super proud of you.
But my thing matters to me, too.
Of course.
You're killing it.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Watch it, there, Elmo! No! Get down, boy! Easy, big guy.
Ah, let him be.
Hey, let him be.
Let him be.
It's okay.
Let him go free.
- He's a live wire, that one.
- Ooh, yeah.
He chewed up a custom sofa.
We've got to calm him down.
Send him to obedience school.
He's going to the vet to get fixed.
Ooh.
Enjoy, guys.
All right, boys.
What do we say to Chef Ryan? Thank you! Boys, boys, look.
Look.
Look at this.
Look, look.
He's marking his territory.
He's peeing on the furniture.
Yeah.
Yeah, but he's showing Ryan who's boss.
That's why it's called a pissing contest when two men try and stake out their turf.
I don't love it when men do that, either.
Elmo, outside now! Come on.
Poor guy.
Dean, seventh president.
Hint two after Monroe.
Jackson.
Andrew Jackson.
Gordie, where was he from? Let's talk Yankees.
'Cause you don't know.
Don't switch the subject.
I do know.
Prove it.
Seattle? There was no Seattle back then, idiot.
I bet I'll get it on the next guess.
- Bet you don't.
- How much? 10 push-ups.
Deal.
Border areas near the Carolinas.
You can't fall for that every time, Dean.
See, he knows his customer, and he sets you up.
He's willing to look foolish short-term to win long-term.
You got to remember that.
And, Gordie, don't sucker your brother.
All right, come on.
Pay your bet.
We don't welsh.
See what you got.
One.
Two.
Lower.
Three.
Sir? The leniency conference starts in 10 minutes.
Afternoon.
Thank you for agreeing to see us.
What the fuck are you doing here, Dad? Trying to get me disbarred? Christ.
You're more dramatic than your mother.
We are not breaking any rules or regulations.
Mr.
Rhoades is not being compensated to appear here.
Oh, I know how careful he is and why you brought him.
But believe me, it's already backfired.
Hear us out.
Skip knows that he did wrong.
Now that he's been, uh, convicted, sure.
But when he had a chance to plead out That's the past.
Right now, we are trying to set something up that will allow Skip to show his rehabilitation and for him to contribute to society.
By what? Oh, I know.
Uh, paying a bigger fine in exchange for reduced jail time? What are we talking about, uh, $5 million? We were going to suggest $10 million in exchange for house arrest.
Which represents a far more reasonable settlement than Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, that way, instead of worrying about actually going to prison, you can get right to doing charitable works and warning your buddies about the pitfalls of being a bad actor.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
This is Skip.
And it is a fair offer.
Yeah, it sounds reasonable.
And it's the type of deal that has been made in this library countless times by my predecessors, but not by me.
You don't buy your way out of justice here.
You thought, because of our history, bringing my father, this would afford you some kind of a fucking courtesy? No.
He volunteered.
Well, you all miscalculated badly.
You know, instead of using my father, you should've emulated him and built your fortune without crossing the line.
You didn't.
So now your cronies are gonna see that they better not trade on inside information or abuse their positions, or they're gonna end up like you.
Broke, humiliated, and incarcerated as per the law.
I am not prepared for this.
I I can't.
Please.
Chuck you know I am not a bad man.
I can't.
This was to be about leniency.
Have some mercy.
My father always told me that "mercy" was a word that pussies used when they couldn't take the pain.
I love you, Dad.
But if you walk into my office and try to use your influence again, you are gonna walk out of here in handcuffs.
Mr.
Wolkowska Skip.
I've known you since I was a boy.
I remember you and my dad exchanging sets on the tennis court out East.
I never wanted to see you like this.
I never wanted you to.
Yeah, but here we are.
So please hear this.
I know that you have the strength to get through it and come out the other side a better man.
I wish you well.
Hey.
Yo, Axe.
Really? Here? They were gonna obliterate each other on Superior Auto.
Has to be your call.
We've got to stay long, Superior.
We should increase our position, I think.
You think? Aluminum wheels for cars and light-duty trucks have totally replaced steel.
And the numbers out of the factory are telling me Superior is producing the shit out of them.
"Dollar" Bill What does the cheapest man in America think? That "The Pouch" is wrong.
Numbers out of the factory tell me that they over-produced this quarter.
They're stuck with merch they can't move, and the stock's gonna dip.
Short.
What's your level of certainty? I am not uncertain.
We're done here.
Why didn't you tell me you were certain? Why would I? Do your own fucking work.
Okay, come on! Any time you can disrupt a criminal enterprise, that's a good result, and that is what happened here.
Once again, over 400 kilos of cocaine, dozens of weapons seized.
$2.
8 million off the streets in this takedown.
All defendants have been indicted and are also off the streets.
Mr.
Rhoades! All right.
Thanks, guys.
You're proud about small-time convictions - of small-time players - Hey, hey.
That's enough.
uneducated minorities with limited options.
- That's enough.
- What about the hundreds of millions billions in fraudulent gains in the financial sector? Why aren't you prosecuting the investment banks and hedge funds for insider trading? You're bragging about netting minnows, but you won't touch a firm like Axe Capital.
My office is soft on financial crime.
Go ask the 81 convicted felons of financial crimes currently serving time.
But you have a very specific conflict of interest right in your own home.
Growing up, I saw firsthand the corrosive power that big business can have, and I am determined to check that.
Take Skip Wolkowska.
Now, he has many influential friends, but their entreaties on his behalf were not entertained.
As your own paper reported, Mr.
Wolkowska will serve his full sentence, effective immediately.
That's all the time I really have.
Thanks.
Who let The fucking Journal in with the blindsided questions? He was not supposed to That guy you know over at Skadden on Axe's team Yeah, Orrin Bach.
He was my law professor.
Yeah.
Get with him.
And tell him to tell Axe not to buy that house.
Not to buy? Nice.
I need Spyros at the S.
E.
C.
- Spyros.
- Do you know the story about the mouse that starts roaring like a lion? No.
Yeah.
It doesn't end well for the goddamn mouse.
Do the people you work with pretend they're impressed when you speak in riddles like some kung-fu instructor from the movies? Well, let me be direct.
I know you sent that reporter in to ask about Axe Capital.
Why would I do that? We're on the same side.
You're on your side.
I'm on mine.
Well, we can both benefit.
And besides, it's the right thing to do.
Spyros, you wouldn't know the right thing to do if it kneeled down and sucked your tiny goddamn cock! You pull any shit like that again and I will loose holy fucking hell on you! So, this is how a man with no conscience spends his time.
It's how a grown-up does.
You know, I remember when you were my professor, you told us a lawyer's calling was beyond mere recompense.
It was to serve the spirit of the law regardless of gain.
Yeah.
It is.
Until it's not.
What? You'll see.
Once you sell out and play for the defense, too.
Nah, I've found my calling.
Okay, Claude Dancer.
One day you'll be coming to me just like this, asking for a job.
The good news is this when you get out of there, you're starting at $1.
4, easy.
Nail a few headline cases $1.
7.
Better news? I'll hire you.
I'm staying.
No, you're not.
Hey, speaking of headlines, is this shit we're hearing about the beach house real? 'Cause that's a headline you don't want.
Since when's a rich guy buying a house illegal? There's the way things look and the way things are.
You taught me that.
It's like he's slapping my guy in the face with a white glove.
You know what happens next.
If there were any doubt, we'd tie him to his chair.
World's full of snipers.
But Bobby runs a clean shop.
So he just keeps a top defense firm on retainer at $800 an hour because he loves lawyers? Must be.
And we're $1,000 an hour.
There's nothing there.
Like Warren Buffett says, you put a police car on anyone's tail for 500 miles, he's gonna get a ticket.
Hey.
Come in.
Bite? Oh, God, no.
I'm glad you came in.
I was gonna come see you.
About? A purchase I'm considering.
An impulse purchase? Naturally.
Sizeable? I'm guessing it's something you may not even particularly need.
People are saying if I do, it'll unleash the hounds which makes me want it even more.
That's good.
Back when we started, you wouldn't have been able to recognize the motivation until long after you bought it.
Well, back when we started, I was just rich, not super-rich.
You know, being a billionaire I never get to talk about this with anyone 'cause who's gonna give a shit? But being a billionaire, when you walk into a room, it's like being a woman with a perfect set of tits.
Or great legs.
Or eyes like yours.
You know exactly what everyone's looking at, and you know exactly what they want.
You know what that's like.
Okay, player.
Identifying the fact that buying can be a surrogate for power and that outside authority isn't something you do well, this is progress.
You've come a long way since we started.
I guess considering when we started I was staggering around crying along with the half of us still breathing.
But knowing isn't enough.
You've got to exercise control.
Don't get into a bitch fight over nothing.
Don't buy it.
You nailed Lumetherm Power.
Deal crumbled.
I covered at $31.
19.
Nice.
You said $32-ish, but I saw it was going even further, so I waited.
Whoa, living dangerously.
All right.
Good job.
You just made us another $18 million.
Yeah.
Thanks.
We got sidetracked.
You came to me.
You're thinking about leaving.
Uh, well, it's crossed my mind.
Is this about comp? No.
God, no.
You've you've always made that clear.
I'm better paid than anyone in my med-school class except the guy who invented the synthetic bladder.
I'll short his company, give some speeches, chop him down to size.
It's not about comp.
But it is about value mine and growth, as in whether I'm still growing.
I love this place, but I do miss seeing more than a handful of other patients.
At-risk adolescents, women in crisis.
You know, using those other muscles.
Where's this coming from? It's been on my mind.
Your value to the firm is absolute.
You just saved me from making a huge mistake for dick-measuring purposes.
So let's do this.
Spend as much time away from here as you want.
See other patients outside.
But stick with me.
Thank you.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, dear.
I hear you've been very busy.
Yeah.
- He's in the den.
- Okay.
What the hell was that stunt? Skip Wolkowska's an old friend.
He asked for help.
I didn't want to refuse.
But I was 90% sure you'd react the way you did.
It's a win any way you look at it.
How is that a win? I knew that Skip's lawyer would spread it, and it'd land in the news.
And if you treat me that way, they'll all fear you.
That's what you need right now.
You'll be seen as tough on Wall Street.
Hmm.
Some audible to call.
You're welcome.
Now, listen.
You didn't smile enough during the presser.
You let them get to you.
You're right.
And I didn't like that question about Axe Capital.
- What prompted that? - Spyros planted it.
S.
E.
C.
wants me to move on Axe.
It's difficult to convict a popular man.
Yes, I know.
Well, if you move on him and take that risk, you have to get the reward.
You can let the S.
E.
C.
do the mopping up, collect their fines, but they can't be seen as leading it.
A lot of people have Axelrod's back in this city.
He's made them a lot of money.
And you know the line if you're gonna strike against the king.
The King is house shopping right now.
Prime beachfront, heritage.
Hasn't even come on market yet.
That's a mistake.
A conspicuous buy like that in the news? He goes from a billionaire that you can pull for to just another rich asshole.
If he turns the populous against him, he gives his edge to you.
I passed word that, uh, he shouldn't buy it.
If he's innocent, he passes, because he's a disciplined player and he knows that's the disciplined move.
But a guilty man, he buys that house to show me he's got nothing to hide.
Smart.
Maybe I can have a friend make a bid, get the competitive juices flowing.
I like that.
Roger could always use a new house.
And I know Denny Dantone is actively looking.
You guys know I only drag food into this room for the Super Bowl.
Come on, Charles.
I made the pot pies.
I should have some time with my son.
We'll be right there.
Your mother.
That's a loyal woman.
Don't.
I'm just saying that your mother would never let her job interf She never left the kitchen, Dad.
That's what you wanted in a wife, not me.
Still, Wendy's making things difficult for you.
Why is she still working? We started to discuss it.
Legally, there's no conflict yet.
She'll do the right thing.
Better hope so, son.
Danny fucking Margolis.
What brings you back? When I saw you at Sun Valley, you said you were happy as a clam in shit at Century.
Well, I am.
I was.
You know how it is.
Things are good there.
I like Jerry, but I miss the family.
Well, you had to go it on your own with a bigger chunk of the pie.
Yeah, true.
Place looks great, by the way.
Is that your rolling art out front? The Lambo? No.
I like to sit tall in the seat.
Look, um, I have some ideas, and I'd love to share them with you.
I'd love to hear them.
Come to the next dinner.
We'll bang some steaks, talk some concepts.
Yeah, okay.
But I was just hoping that maybe, you know No, I know what you were hoping.
Door's always open.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's cool, Bobby.
I-I will.
Uh, take care.
Hall.
I need to see you.
This is cozy.
It's secure.
I checked with my sources in Washington.
There's no case file against you, but Dan Margolis was arrested.
He was released on his lawyer's recognizance, and his arraignment's currently on hold.
Which tells you what? That he's cooperating.
Did you hear it okay? How the hell did you know? He was making too much eye contact.
Barely blinked.
And his pulse was hammering like he was running a marathon.
You were smart to stay quiet.
Look, the S.
E.
C.
isn't the thing.
Fines are a part of life.
The attack you have to worry about is the U.
S.
Attorney's.
Now, here's what you're gonna do.
One that reporter from The Journal, the one that was asking about you, he needs to be handled.
I would do it myself, but then he's out of the game.
No value added.
Better if you make him your best friend.
And two remember, you don't have to outswim the shark.
You just have to outswim the guy you're scuba diving with.
You want me to do that? You remember that night in Reykjavik? Wish I didn't, but I do.
You said there was only one thing you were afraid of.
Windbreakers.
Guys in windbreakers walking in your office saying, "Step away from the computer.
" And you told me you'd make sure it wouldn't happen.
So, let me make sure.
Look there.
Steven Birch? It's either him or you.
- Memorize that.
- Well, if it's gonna be someone, it may as well be that fraud.
We're sharing the stage at the Delivering Alpha Conference this week.
He acts like he's my best friend despite short squeezing me on HMOs last year.
So do it.
Hall.
Wendy Rhoades tried to quit today.
We've been fighting back-to-back in the trenches for 15 years.
But today she tried to quit.
Still trust her? I want to.
I didn't know this place was open for lunch.
It's not.
- Thanks, Tony.
- My pleasure, Mr.
Axelrod.
We're off the record.
If you fuck me, I never talk to you again.
Got it.
Good.
If you ever want to come here, just call me.
Now, why was my name coming out of your mouth at a press conference? Hey, that was before you asked me to lunch.
Jump in.
Let's talk about those kids you put through college.
That's the one question gets me walking away from the table.
That's between them and me.
I don't talk about it with anyone else.
Bon appétit.
What's next? Softball.
Underhand.
Give me some insight into how you process information.
The press acts like information's a dirty word.
Everyone has access to the information.
We just know how to analyze it better.
You answer me one.
When did it become a crime to succeed in this country? America used to salute the guy in the limousine.
They wanted to be the guy in the limousine.
They still want to.
But now they throw eggs at it.
I only ever went egging once.
Biggest house in the neighborhood, and they never gave out any candy, so they deserved it.
We destroyed that place.
Once? You're an altar boy.
That was every Halloween for me.
You're from around here, right? Yeah, Grand Concourse.
Then White Plains.
Yeah, me too.
Well, Yonkers, but it wasn't nice back then.
Hey, man, Yonkers used to be a place where you could really get your ass kicked.
You're a good kid for a fucking hack.
And you're a good guy for a bankster.
All right, fuck it.
I wasn't gonna give you this, but you're here for a story and now I like you, so - Steven Birch.
- Piedmont Capital.
Yeah.
That swap deal he did on Arcadian Rail Road the timing is very curious.
What kind of swap? I'm not gonna write the article for you.
Do an autopsy on the deal, you'll find yourself a Pulitzer in the carcass.
Here's my cell.
Don't call until the market closes.
No voicemail.
- No E-mail.
- Understood.
Enjoy your lunch.
How do you respond to the criticism that hedge funds are the scavengers of the financial sector and that a select few have undue influence on the markets? Any public statement you make or position you take can send a stock soaring or falling.
We're not scavengers.
We're white blood cells scrubbing out bad companies, earning for our investors, preventing bubbles.
Excuse me.
A hedge fund like mine is a market regulator.
I want people like Bobby Axelrod on that wall.
I need them on that wall.
Axe makes my life easier by shouting if he sees something.
The moment I let someone in a boardroom or a government office tell me what I can or cannot buy, I may as well close the shop, and I'm not closing the shop.
Let's touch on the role of the activist investor in today's market.
I'm not just playing for myself.
I'm playing for all shareholders, like my good friend Steven Birch here.
Bobby Axelrod, Steven Birch, thanks to you both.
Um, that, uh, thing we were talking about, they are levered four to one.
When their accounting comes out, it's not gonna look pretty, right? Those fucking guys.
I wasn't told.
I don't know why Brooks saved those seats for them.
I'm gonna find him and skin his ass.
Enough.
I'm gonna get me that scalp.
You crushed it.
Crushed.
Let's get out of this ratfuck.
Watch out.
He may buy the building.
It's an A-minus building.
Needs overhaul.
He doesn't consider anything less than triple-A.
- Yet he hired you.
- Easy, Bryan.
Learn anything from my talk? Volumes.
You staying for mine? I know your act.
You sending me messages? 'Cause I'm here.
Well, the kids in my office really thought you might buy that house.
I told them you got big balls, but not that big.
Yeah, right.
I'll probably pass.
It's so nice, though, you know.
Feels like you're part of the beach and ocean.
And all that air out there shit, you know about it.
He must let you use a bedroom some weekends if you say please.
Walk away.
I should.
But then again, what's the point of having "fuck you" money if you never say "fuck you"? You're a smart man.
So you know when I bring an action, not some county or even state, it's the United States versus.
Don't give me a reason.
Oh, I know who brings an action.
And I know what you feel about your perfect record, too.
You can't afford a mark in the loss column.
There's a saying in baseball.
Towns fire managers.
Owners just give them the bad news.
You're the only one running the big money they cheer for.
But that's because you worked that 9/11 shit Fuck yourself.
I have never sent out a single press release, given one interview.
I lost every one of my friends that day.
And you've managed to make some new ones since.
But like I said, they may be cheering now, but believe me, they are dying to boo.
And now from the other side, the man whose job is to ride herd over the bulls and bears, Yeah.
Denny Dantone's coming in with an offer on the Norton house $62 million.
Prepared to close in less than a week, I hear.
How the fuck did he see it? He didn't.
He knew the house.
Been to parties there.
Son of a bitch.
Hey, babe.
Hey, babe.
What the hell's wrong with Elmo? He went to the vet to get fixed, remember? The house, I want it.
Okay, let's take a beat.
People are gonna say that They might.
Offer $63 million cash.
Take it or leave it on the call.
Wire goes out first thing.
Yeah.
Mike Dimonda from The Journal.
Sorry to wake you.
I was up.
I'm calling for comment.
On? Skip Wolkowska, your father's friend, committed suicide.
No comment.
Shh, shh.
Rough morning.
But a reminder like this is useful.
What we do has consequences, intended and, uh unintended.
The decisions we make, the actions we bring, have weight.
I'll have to carry this one.
So would I have given a break to some drug dealer? No.
So, why would I give one to a businessman? None of this should change your mission.
Come to work every day and be just and strong in the actions you bring, and don't waver.
All right, that's it.
Back to work.
This'll cheer you up.
Front fucking page of the Post.
It's like he's daring you.
Gotcha! You like it? I love it.
Hey! Hall.
What do you got? There's movement.
It's likely they've opened a case file on you.
You know what? I'm ready.
They could be coming after you.
Fuck 'em.
You waited up.
I made sure the kids were asleep.
I wanted to see you.
Me too.
That hurts.
I'll bet it does.