Black Sheep Squadron (1976) s01e01 Episode Script

Five days after the Japaese attack on Pearl Harbor, the Pentagon announces that America needs her fighter pilots, which have been fighting valiantly to preserve the Chinese mainland against the relentless Japanese onslaught.
Hit hardest by this request is General Claire Chennault and his Flying Tigers, whose mercenary band have successfully been turning back the Japanese bombers as they search for targets over Mainland China.
So one by one these valiant Americans leave China and head back to their American units to fight in the South Pacific, with a special thanks from Chiang Kai-Shek and the entire Chinese populace.
I'm Greg Boyington, one of those valiant mercenaries, only I was having trouble getting out of China.
As a matter of fact, I was having trouble getting out of bed.
A victim of a plane that needed a new carburetor.
Most of us were planning to leave China, but Chennault owed everybody back pay and we were hanging around in hope that he'd cough it up, but it didn't look too promising.
Greg, its me, Freddie.
Did Doc Richard see you come in? It's okay, he's at the hotel.
He's one of the ushers.
Okay, let's go.
How you doing, Norm? Can you even stand up? I mean, I'm the bloody maid of honor.
What am I supposed to do, hold you up during the entire ceremony, or what? What's wrong with him? Ah, he's been like that all day.
I just think he's identifying with Charlene, bridal nerves or something.
You know, you don't look so hot, Greg.
You gonna be okay? - Yeah.
I'm serious.
- You okay? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Anybody got a bottle? Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
China - December 1941 (10 days after Pearl Harbor) Bombardier take the controls.
My wingman, Norm Fraser, had some last-minute plans to marry an Indian girl he met in Calcutta.
I agreed to be the best man.
Damn it.
I said he wasn't to be moved.
Then we better leave him there, don't you think, Doc? Oh, yeah, at least till he hemorrhages.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
If there is any man here who can show cause why this man and this woman should not be joined in holy wedlock, let him now speak or forever hold his peace.
Due to the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Let's get the hell out of here! Get going, Doc.
- I'm okay.
There's a slit trench where the hotel cooks hide.
I'll go there.
Let's get out of here! Which way are we goin'? Over by that building.
Are you sure? - Positive.
Where's the slit trench, Greg? I thought it was around here somewhere.
You know how much that fathead Gen.
Chennault owes me? I don't wanna hear it.
He owes me for my last five kills.
I don't wanna hear it.
Then this morning he gives me a ship that won't go 50 feet off the deck, I end up gargling my gunsight.
Chennault can't pay you until the Chinese pay him.
One way or another, he is going to pay me.
Tell Gen.
Chennault I wanna see him.
How are you, son? Well, to tell you the truth, General, I'm ticked off.
They said you were dying.
Dying to get paid.
Doesn't what we're doing here mean anything to you, Boyington? I'm a fair guy.
We've got a contract.
You're supposed to pay me $500 for every Zero I flame.
And right now you owe me for six.
I can't give you what I don't have.
It's against regulations to have pets.
Get rid of him or I'll have him shot.
It's okay with me if you throw him out.
Help yourself.
No luck, huh? I've had all I can stand from you.
I'm gonna get my money, Chennault.
One way or another, you're gonna pay what you owe.
You see what I mean about Chennault? A certified stuffed shirt and a tightwad.
I never would've come over here to begin with except I owed a lot of people money back in the States and I was trying to pay them off.
So here I was, no money and strung up like a Christmas turkey.
I had a major's commission in my old branch at the service in the Marine Corps.
All I had to do was get 500 miles to Calcutta and pick it up.
Right then and there I decided to steal an airplane and get out.
Okay, come on, come on.
Come on.
Who authorized that flight? S01E01 - Flying Misfits You don't have to like it, Boyington, but you're commissioned as a second lieutenant.
A second lieutenant, you're kidding! I've read your old service record, Boyington.
You were almost thrown out of the Marines four years ago for drunkenness and brawling.
You're lucky the Corps is willing to take you back at all.
Personally, I wouldn't let you clean toilets in a boot camp.
You're a pretty charitable guy.
You could begin by addressing me as "sir.
" My deal with the Marines Corps was set up by Admiral Nimitz and approved by the Secretary of the Navy.
I'm to be reinstated as a major.
Tough luck, you didn't make it.
Yes, I did.
You just haven't heard about it yet.
Your orders are coming through this afternoon.
I took the liberty of arranging your position for you.
You're to be stationed in a rear area of the South Pacific.
A little island called Espritos Marcos.
You're going to hate it there, it's the armpit of the Pacific.
Welcome aboard, Lieutenant Boyington.
Major Boyington.
And get rid of that dog.
It's against regulations.
Why don't you take him on your way out? What's the matter with him? I think he just hates jerks.
I am Major Boyington, with the General's personal staff in Washington.
Yeah, I know that, uh, it sounds a little strange, but, uh, you see, the General's housekeeper died suddenly and the General decided that he wanted his dog in the Pacific.
Yeah.
That's right, I'm scheduled out in three days, but I figured you might be able to get me an earlier flight.
To be frank, Sergeant, I'm not getting along very well with this dog, and I wanna get back to Washington.
Oh, no, that's fine.
You hold that plane.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Thank you, Sergeant.
Major Boyington? That's right.
I lost all my luggage in Honolulu.
Flight operations has gone into a real mess.
Had to borrow this uniform from the General's aide in Waikiki.
Is, uh, that the General's dog, sir? That's right.
Real beauty, isn't he? Yes, sir, a real prize-winner.
I was back in the Marines and on my way to the South Pacific.
The troops of the Japanese Empire overwhelmed the outnumbered Allies in the Pacific.
As Bhutan falls, American morale reaches a new low, as one by one, Pacific islands succumb.
Things are no better in the air, as the Japanese Emperor's pilots, seasoned from years of fighting over China, wreak havoc on unskilled American pilots.
American designers are back to the drawing board for swifter, more maneuverable planes, as the light, faster-turning Zeros descend on the valiant, outnumbered American fighter pilots.
As Marine foot soldiers cling to the beachheads, the war in the air becomes paramount.
Victory in the air will guarantee victory on the ground, and a swift end to the hostilities of war.
Hey, Sergeant, can you tell me where Col.
Laird hangs out around here? Uh, second Quad on the right, sir.
Thank you, Sergeant.
You're already in big trouble, Boyington.
Sir, I'm sorry, sir, but I don't know what you mean.
You're supposed to be a big-time hotshot, six Zeros.
Well, let me tell you something, I'm up to my brass buckle in hotshots.
I don't need another one.
Especially not a rule- and regulation-breaking drunk.
You got it? Sir, I don't know what Col.
Mathis told you about me, but we just didn't hit it off, that's all.
And I'd really like to start off on the right foot here, sir.
Who are you trying to kid? "Morning report from air transport commander on new arrivals.
I've got a Major Boyington on board.
" Major Boyington! "The Major was a pickup in Calcutta.
"He's bringing in Gen.
Moore's dog from some little burg in West Texas.
" But that wouldn't be you, would it, Lieutenant? May I see that, sir? Thank you.
That's gotta be a mistake all the way around.
Oh, yeah? Sure.
To begin with, Gen.
Moore's from Pennsylvania, not West Texas.
I'm a Lieutenant, not a Major, and I'll bet if you check A.
T.
C.
regulations, they've got a provision against importation of animals without military authorization.
If I were you, sir, I'd pass this back up to A.
T.
C.
general headQuarters and flag it.
I mean, if you want to go to that much trouble, sir.
You're damn right I do.
And you can bet I will.
You really think you're pretty sharp, don't you? Well, sir, any way I answer that I'm gonna end up in trouble.
Let me tell you something, Lieutenant.
We have just two books on this island, and everything runs by those two books! Now do you know what they are? One of them wouldn't be the Marine Corps manual, would it, sir? Right on target.
And the other one is Naval regulations.
Nav Regs! Now, have you ever seen either of those two books? Well, sir, when I was in boot camp, I flipped through the Marine Corps manual once or twice.
But I have to admit I'm a little hazy.
And to be perfectly honest, sir, I was sort of waiting for the Navy to synopsize their manual because someone told me that it was, uh, a thousand pages long, sir.
1,256 pages.
And you are going to live by them, every single one of them, or you're gonna rot in the brig.
Now, get out of here and report to Quarters.
And tell Maj.
Sanderson that you're under hack.
You know what that means? Yes, sir, house arrest.
That's right.
Until I can figure out just who's kidding who with this air transport command manifest.
Dismissed! Yes, sir.
Pentagon.
Admiral Nimitz's office.
We have an overseas call for Adm.
Nimitz.
Uh, the Admiral's in a conference right now.
Who's calling? Who's calling, sir? Tell him it's his son, Ted.
Uh, one moment please.
prime importance.
This is for you, Admiral.
Teddy, where are you, son? I beg your pardon, Admiral? Who is this? This is Greg Boyington, sir.
There must be some mistake.
I was told my son was on this line.
Oh, no, sir.
I told your aide that your son Ted suggested that I call.
He must have made a mistake, sir.
Where is Teddy? Isn't he still in Honolulu? Did he get his mother's cookies? Yes, sir, he sure did.
They were a bit crumbled, but they were great.
I even had some myself, sir.
Uh, look, Admiral, do you remember me? I sent you a four-page night letter from Kunming.
And your office responded and wired me that I was to be reinstated into the Marine Corps as a Major.
Yes, I remember.
There must have been some foul-up, Admiral, because it came through as a second lieutenant.
I figured you'd want to know.
If you're in Kunming, how could you have seen Teddy in Honolulu? That's impossible.
Well, that's a that's a long story, sir.
I'd like to hear it, please.
Well, you see, sir, I was transferred to And Ted was in and then we met in the Southeast.
and we had a drink before I was transferred to in April.
We seem to be breaking up.
What, sir? Look, get on with it.
Why are you calling? Well, as I was saying, I was re-inducted in the Marine Corps as a second lieutenant, and I'd really prefer to be a Major, sir.
Do you think you could get that straightened out? You're already an ace? You have six kills or something? Yes, sir.
You think you could talk to someone for me? Where are you? Espritos Marcos.
Okay, I'll cable Gen.
Moore.
He'll have your commission papers amended.
Check with his office in the morning.
Yes, sir and thank you, sir.
And next time you see Teddy, ask him to write his mother more often, will you? Oh, absolutely, sir.
But you know Teddy's so busy with We better disconnect.
I can hardly hear you.
Good hunting.
Where's the dog? Hey! Is this dog chicken or what? Who are you, mister? Forgetting the fact that you're, uh, not supposed to drink under hack, you got crummy taste in bourbon, Greg.
This stuff will rot your guts out.
What else is on your mind? I'm from General HQ, the other side of the island.
I got a report on you from Col.
Laird, so I did some checking.
Your military record reads like something out of the Eight Ball Almanac.
This is very amusing, pal, but I've had about all of you I can stand.
Get outta here.
Maybe if you didn't start off so crisp, you wouldn't get into so much trouble, son.
If I want spiritual advice, I'll get drunk with a chaplain.
I also read that you were one of the first American aces.
You shot down six Zeros while you were with Chennault.
It's been swell.
You're about to get pitched out.
10 years ago I'd have enjoyed having you try, but now it's a lot easier just to pull rank.
I'm General Moore.
That's nice.
Out you go, Sparky.
Just a moment till Sparky gets his coat off.
Oh, boy, I've done it again.
Betty Grable.
I have a few tips for you, Greg.
General, about Laird's beef Shut up.
You're assigned to Col.
Laird.
I think Laird's a first-class jerk.
You, on the other hand, are a blue-ribbon jerk.
You run your mouth with your mind in neutral, and that can be a very dangerous habit.
Now, maybe, maybe when the time is right, I can help you.
I don't know.
We'll have to see.
General, I'm a combat pilot.
How many Qualified combat pilots do you have out there? I've seen the reports.
We're losing guys just because they're so green they don't know how to cover up.
You aren't gonna fly, Greg.
You might as well get used to the idea.
You're 35 years old.
You're too old to be a pilot.
You got to have the reflexes of a 20-year-old in combat.
With all due respect Don't pull my leg.
You haven't got any respect.
That's the one thing I like about you.
Here, take this.
So that's supposed to be my dog.
I wouldn't have an ugly mutt like that.
But I'll let you keep him if you want.
I'm gonna give him to you to hold until I get back.
Oh, yeah, your commission came through, Major.
That ought to get you clean with Laird for now.
And stay away from that stuff.
What's the matter, Major? Just make it Greg, will you? Right.
I'm, uh, Larry Casey.
Just got in last night.
How do you do, Larry? Looks like a real bore here, huh? This paperwork is endless.
Where does it all go? I don't know.
I've been filling out these supply forms for two weeks now.
Yeah.
Well, you should see what they gave me.
It can't be worse than what I've got.
It sure can.
I'm handling the disposition of court-martials for the whole Southwest Pacific.
Can you beat that? I'm just off the boat now I'm supposed to start slammin' these guys who've been out there fightin', into the brig.
You're kidding me.
Let me see.
It's a big responsibility.
And I don't think I have the right training to be making these decisions.
I was just thinkin' of asking Col.
Laird to give me something else.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hold on.
Look, this is something that I have a great deal of experience with.
Then he should've given it to you.
You're right.
He should have.
Larry.
It is Larry? Yeah.
Tell you what.
Let's swap.
You take the supply forms, I'll take the court-martials.
Well, I'm not sure I am.
Let me help you with that.
Thank you.
But Hello, hello I don't I don't understand.
Why do you want Are you sure this is okay? Look, Larry, how'd you like to get out of this ticker-tape foxhole and into a real combat unit? That's why I came over here.
I'm a pilot, not a paper shuffler.
I think I'm about to form a sQuadron.
Excuse me, Major, but, uh, I happen to know a few things about protocol.
To begin with, they don't let Majors set up air combat sQuadrons, and second of all, all squadrons are formed in the Pentagon.
That's protocol.
I never pay any attention to protocol.
Where are you gonna get your pilots? All the guys out here are attached.
Not those.
You're kiddin'.
Those guys are all screw-ups.
So am I.
This guy was a Lulu.
"A captain with four air victories and a tendency to slug superior officers.
" "Jerry Bragg, "High school football, tops in his flight class at Pensacola.
Drunk and disorderly, assault and battery.
" Not bad for only four months in the service.
This guy hits officers and steals Scotch.
My kind of Marine.
I'm a little worried about his flight record, but we'll straighten him out.
What if some of 'em aren't here, Greg? If they're not here, we don't want 'em.
May I have your attention, please? Hey, listen up! I'm Major Boyington and I'm the one who posted orders for you guys to be here this afternoon.
I want the following officers to form up on Lt.
Casey.
"Second Lt.
Robert Anderson.
"First Lt.
Donald French.
"First Lt.
T.
Joseph Wiley.
"First Lt.
Robert Boyle.
"First Lt.
Jerome Bragg.
"Capt.
James W.
Gutterman.
"Second Lt.
Michael Swenson.
Second Lt.
Fred Josephson.
" My name is Greg Boyington.
I'm supposed to decide who's going to be court-martialed and who's going to be allowed to go back into action.
Hey, that's my Scotch! Lt.
Wiley? T.
J.
, right? How'd you get that away from that transport captain? Lt.
Wiley is under general arrest for breaking the beak of a transport pilot.
The Captain wouldn't let him bring back 15 cases of Scotch from Sydney, so he confiscated it.
I, uh, convinced the Captain to share it with me.
You guys like standin' around in twos or what? No.
I'm forming a sQuadron.
Help yourself, Lieutenant.
I've gone through all the court-martial records from the Southwest Pacific.
And I have selected you men for your lack of brains, talent for trouble, and because you are the only pilots available.
Now, for those of you that don't join my sQuadron, I'm gonna recommend court-martial proceedings.
For those that do, I'm gonna sign you up.
Any Questions? I got a Question, Major.
Go ahead.
How about if I just knock you on your backside? You'd get some bent teeth trying.
Well, you see, that don't matter much to me.
As you know, I'm being beefed already for hittin' a Colonel in Sydney.
You're only a Major, and kind of an old one at that.
Suppose I give it a go? Suppose you do? $20 on the Major.
Hold it, Corporal.
It's Quarantined, don't go in there.
Forget it, there's a fight goin' on in there.
Go! I said hold it, Major.
You got him, come on.
Get him, get him.
Go.
Come on, Major.
Get up.
Come on, get him.
You want more or you had enough? Oh, yeah, I've had enough.
You're pretty tough for an old man.
Anybody else? I don't know about the rest of these guys, Grandpa, but I'll fly with you.
Don't you know squadrons are formed in the Pentagon? Got a thing about protocol, Gutterman? How do you figure you're gonna form one way out here? Well, to be perfectly honest, I thought I'd steal one.
You're nuts, mister.
In or out, Gutterman? How old are you, anyway? You figure you're gonna fly with us? I never met a combat pilot over 25 years old.
You have now.
Gutterman, I can fly a lot better than I can fight.
Well, if that's true, you must be one hell of a pilot.
Okay, Gramps, I'll fly.
Yeah.
Yeah! But I believe you're gonna be court-martialed before any of us.
You guys get enough, huh? What do you mean? None of the court-martials have gone through? Yes.
Uh, I'm sorry, Commander.
I'll look into it right away.
Yes, sir.
No, sir.
The fact is we have a lot of new men here, and the, uh, the paperwork is, uh, overpowering.
Yes, sir, overpowering.
I will, sir.
Right away.
Lieutenant, I just got a telephone call from ComSoPac.
Apparently none of the court-martials have been getting up to Fleet.
Well, well, sir, uh, I Well, where are they? You've been working on them for 10 days.
He's been working on supply forms.
I've been working on court-martials, Colonel.
Damn it, Boyington! Everything's in channels, Colonel.
But the Fleet hasn't received any of them.
That's right, and they won't.
Well, then you better tell me why, and in one big hurry, Major.
Because I didn't file any of the charges.
I disapproved them.
You disapproved them? How many? All of them.
You disapproved every court-martial in the Pacific for a three-month period of time? Yes, sir.
You're joking? No, sir.
Sir, the the way I see it, if any of these guys pull this kind of stuff again, that's the time we nail 'em for it.
Not now.
Why not keep them fighting instead of just sitting around? I'm shipping you out, Boyington.
Right now.
You are through, do you understand me? You have had it.
You are finished! I am shipping you out! Out! I'm having a run of bad of luck with my commanding officers.
I think you better move up the timetable, Greg.
I think you're right.
I knew if I could get this bunch ofjerks up into the sky, I could turn them into the best fighter squadron around.
They had guts and orneriness and that's what you need.
But I had to steal planes.
Before you can steal them, you have to find them.
The best place to do that was the General HQ on the other side of the island.
I'm going to check squadron rotations.
You see what kinda base you can scare up, something isolated but close enough so we can to get up the slot and back without runnin' out of gas.
If we get caught doing this, we're gonna get so buried under official reprimands, we're not gonna see daylight for 25 or 30 years.
What's so great about daylight? Some of the best times I've ever had were in the dark.
Jim, we got to get off this island in 10 or 12 hours, or Laird's gonna drop a net on us anyway.
I figure it's gonna take him at least that long to have the adjutant corps type up all the charges.
You better get goin'.
Okay, Gramps.
Lieutenant, what's been taking so long? I've been outside waiting for 45 minutes.
Uh, I'm sorry, sir.
I'm afraid I don't understand.
Aren't you the Lieutenant that went to get the medical reports on the returning squadron? Uh, no, sir, no, sir.
See, you have me mixed up with somebody else.
Well, damn it, I don't have all day! Of course, you guys don't give a rat's butt about my problem.
It doesn't make any difference to you if there are 15 or 20 pilots flying in that sQuadron with active cases of malaria and yellow fever.
Since you're I'm I'm sorry, sir, see, II don't understand You got a squadron coming out of action, right? You mean 214? Of course I mean 214.
Uh, now you mean uh, there are malaria cases in that squadron, Doctor? Son, what have we just been talking about? Well, sir, uh, I guess, uh, I mean that, uh, this is the first time that I've heard about anything like it.
It's hardly the kinda thing that you would spread around, now, is it, Lieutenant? Uh, no, you wouldn't.
I've got to process all the medical forms, and arrange to have an entire sQuadron airlifted to a temporary Quarantine area, and I don't have all afternoon to get that done, Lieutenant.
Uh, well, now you see, now, I haven't heard about, uh, any kind of medical airlift, sir.
You haven't heard, Lieutenant, because until I read the Flight Surgeon's report, I can't make a decision on whether we're dealing with active tri-cycular gal-cometic malaria, or just a dormant hyper-jaundiced condition masquerading as malaria.
Now, the two symptoms are almost identical, unless you're alert to the differences.
Uh, yes, sir.
It's possible that the Flight Surgeon has misdiagnosed this whole thing.
Would it be convenient, Lieutenant, for you to get them for me now? Uh, yes, sir.
Thank you.
Sure.
And, Lieutenant? - Yes.
Would get me some blank medical forms, in case I have to alter the diagnosis.
How can you, change the diagnosis without examining the patient, sir? By reading the blood toxin report and checking it against the white blood cell count, of course.
Something these flight surgeons never think to do.
If they did, it would save us a lot of time and trouble, don't you think? Why, you would think it would.
You certainly would, yes.
Uh, I'll get, uh, 214's medical history for you, Commander.
Oh, if you want, you can use Col.
Warfield's office.
He's in Sydney.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
- Sure.
Well, how'd you do? - Pretty good.
I think I found us a good base.
Oh, yeah? Where is it? It's a little island about 60 miles south of here.
The Seabees haven't finished the strip.
Before they could finish working on it, the war took a left turn and put this little strip out of reach.
I got some aerial photos.
Looks like we can fly off it.
If we can get some reserve tanks, we can make it to Bougainville and back.
It'll be tight, but I think it'll work.
I don't know, Jim.
Wait, you haven't heard the best part yet.
As a matter of fact, it's what makes this the perfect base.
See, there's a hospital not three miles from the end of the strip.
And this hospital is still being used as the main port of entry for all military medical personnel of the, uh, female persuasion.
Beginning to sound like a pretty good base.
I also ran into about 30 nurses who were stationed there.
They're Quartered in a compound near the beach.
I thought tonight might be a good time to have a luau.
Um, good, okay.
Call Casey.
Tell him to steal a truck and bring the rest of the sQuadron over here.
Tell him we're taking off tomorrow at 0800 on a hospital plane and to get out of there without being observed.
No kidding.
You mean you found a squadron? As luck would have it, it turns out I'm the ranking medical officer on this whole damn island.
You should read the medical record.
The whole squadron is infected with malaria.
It's the worst epidemic I've seen in my entire two-hour medical career.
I've arranged to have all the pilots under Commander quarantined for 14 days on the lsle of Munata.
How long will they let you stay in the Major grade? I try not to worry about that kind of stuff.
Two weeks ago, I was a second lieutenant.
I only got one Question.
- Shoot.
How are we supposed to get orders to fly those birds over to La Cava? Colonel Laird is still our CO.
When he finds out what you're doin', we're dead.
I've been giving that a great deal of thought.
Damn, that's good Scotch.
Where did you get this stuff? I didn't know there was this kind of Scotch anywhere on the island.
Well, sir, uh, I'd rather not say.
Stole it? I gotta tell you something, son.
When you delivered this bottle to me this afternoon, I figured, "Who would send an old blister like me a free Quart of Scotch?" I forgot you were on the other side of the island.
Dorothy Lamour.
- Yeah.
How are you and Laird hitting it off? Great.
He's got me up for a dishonorable discharge.
Well, all things considered, you lasted longer than I thought you would.
Sir, do you have any plans for this evening? Plans, no.
I just thought I'd sit it out here and enjoy your gift.
Would you like to go to a luau? A what? - A luau.
Luau? Are there gonna be any girls? 30 nurses.
And I've got another case of Scotch.
Just what is it you want from me anyway? Nothing.
Come on, you'll never make that fly, Greg.
But you give me just one minute.
I'll take these damn stars off because I learned a while back that Generals don't make out.
We were really bored at Vella La Cava.
I mean, it was okay while the Seabees were building the strip, but after they left there wasn't anything to do.
Really? No, really.
We were stationed there for six weeks and the only guys there were doctors.
I mean, there was one really nice one but there were 30 nurses, you know what I mean? Getting a little buggy towards the end.
What's his name? I'm going there, I'll look him up.
Uh, Jim Reese.
Little Tennessee boy, he was real cute.
And he was dating 30 nurses? Well, maybe not 30, probably more like 20.
The nurses really go for doctors, you know what I mean? Come here, I wanna show you something.
Uh, hey, wait a minute.
You're not trying to get me off away from the others 'cause I wouldn't wanna do that.
Oh, no, no.
I mean, you know, we just met.
Frankly, uh, we were sort of warned about you pilots.
Well, uh, I'm something of a doctor myself.
You're a doctor? I don't like to wear this around the compound because people keep coming up to me and ask me for medical alcohol.
Uh, uh, isn't that kind of unusual? I mean a doctor who's a pilot.
It'sit's very unusual.
Uh, what is it? I mean, uh, you're a doctor.
That kinda changes things.
That is obvious, eh? Yeah, I mean, well, you know.
It's different with doctors and nurses.
It's like we belong to the same club or something.
You're right.
With reserve tanks, I can make it from Vella whatever to Bougainville and back.
Look, Greg, I'm a little bagged right now.
Do we have to discuss this thing here? I admit we need a squadron and pilots.
Suppose I told you, General, that right now under your command, you've got a squadron that's coming out of action two weeks early with malarial infestation.
And this sQuadron won't have anybody to fly their planes for two weeks.
Suppose I told you that? Okay, suppose you told me that, where you gonna get the pilots? Where do I get them? Is that the Question? Right.
All the pilots are attached on this island.
You'd need 20 unattached pilots to fly those birds.
Right, now, General, if I could get those 20 pilots on this island, would you give me the sQuadron and cut the orders? There are no unattached pilots on this island, boy! So, forget it.
You're wrong, sir, there are.
Where? Here, and there, and passed out all over this beach.
You mean you mean all these guys here, theythey're the pilots? Yes, sir.
Capt.
Gutterman there is one of the biggest foul-ups in the South Pacific.
And I recognize some of these other officers, at least four of them who are awaiting court-martial.
They all are, or were.
That's why I found 'em.
Shut up, honey, I'm trying to sleep.
Okay, yeah! At least you gotta admit they're unattached, General.
Can they fly? General, this is gonna be the best damn sQuadron in the South Pacific.
You give me this squadron and I promise you, you're gonna bag Zeros.
And I'm supposed to screen Laird off of you for two weeks.
I guess you realize, Greg, that if you don't pile up a hell of a kill record in 14 days, you gotta come back here and get dumped in the stockade.
Take a chance on me, General.
Take a chance on all of these bums.
What's the number of your sQuadron? Okay, if they come out of action early, you got it.
Two weeks.
It's gonna be the shortest combat tour on record.
Thank you.
What're you gonna call the sQuadron? I'm gonna call them what they are.
What's that? The Black Sheep.
I don't want to talk about it, T.
J.
Come on, either you did or you didn't.
The nurse I was with has got a crush on some doctor she met over at Vella La Cava.
She's almost engaged to him.
Gotta cut my tie.
Hey, you're kidding, what was the guy's name? I don't know.
Was it Jim Reese? That's right, Lt.
Reese.
How'd you know that? Oh, I had some of the same trouble, Captain, but, uh, I managed to steer around it.
I gotta meet this guy.
Hey, here it comes.
Before we took off, I got a hold of a 214 flight backup.
These guys hadn't been killing anything but mosquitoes.
In the six weeks of their current combat tour they had lost six planes, and hadn't shot down one Japanese Zero.
Not much of a record.
You guys the replacements for 214? We sure are, Major, I'm Greg Boyington.
Maj.
Buell.
What is goin' on? We get pulled out of action, they tell us to bring our planes back and report to the flight surgeon.
Now they tell me all my boys got malaria.
I'm sorry to hear about that.
Nobody has malaria.
I got two weeks left on this combat tour.
You know how fouled up these Rear Area types can get.
I hope you get it figured out, Major.
These guys are supposed to be fresh replacements? They look sicker than my boys.
They are sick but they're still willing to fly.
That's what makes the Marine Corps pilot the most respected man in the service.
I hope you don't really believe that, Major.
I'm supposed to take your men over to the hospital facility on the Servace atoll.
You ready to go, Major? All right, let's go.
Well, look at it this way.
If worse comes to worse, you all get a trip to Sydney.
Some of those planes over there can barely fly.
You take care of the ones that do.
And if you crash one, I'm gonna knock your head off when I get back here.
I sure hope you guys start feeling better, Major.
Nobody's sick, I keep telling everybody! Hey, Gramps! - Yeah? You wouldn't make a kid like me go up in a crate Iike this, would you? Okay, we're gonna take off in twos.
I'm gonna take off last and circle the field.
You guys warm up on deck.
Vella La Cava's about 50 miles south of here.
Only four of you have flown combat.
Gutterman, Anderson, French, and Boyle.
So, for now, you're flight leaders, even though two of you don't have rank.
Now, for those of you that've never been in a fighter before, they're just like the trainers back in the States.
Only one difference.
There's a little button on the stick.
When you press it, it fires real bullets.
Let's go, guys.
Okay, you guys.
We only have these birds for a little while.
We're going to have to make it count.
I learnt some nice tricks in China.
These Zeros can be shot down.
Just gotta know how to do it.
I'm gonna teach you.
You can start by learning how to fly in formation.
Some of you guys are bouncing up and down.
Line them up.
Fly 'em straight and level.
Gutterman, will you stop crowding me? You're about to take my wing tip off.
We're supposed to be flying in formation, T.
J.
Did anybody ever teach you about flying in formation? I'm not flyin' in formation.
I'm flying in holy terror.
Now, will you stop climbin' all over me? Where did you get your wings, T.
J.
, in a raffle? Just get the hell away from me, will you, Jim? I'm not kidding.
I'm sorry about that.
What are you doin', Wiley? You put a burst into me.
My mistake.
You okay, Jim? I don't know.
Hold on a minute.
I got some trouble, Pappy.
My right aileron is all shot to hell.
I'm I'm sorry, Jim.
II hit the trigger by mistake.
That button is tricky.
When we get down on the ground, T.
J.
, you're gonna lose some teeth.
Okay, Jim, what're your damages? I'm rolling into a slow right-hand turn.
I cracked with a lot of left rudder, but I'm banked over, Gramps.
I'm gonna have trouble getting it down.
Okay.
Everybody form up on me and stay loose.
Okay, Gramps, I see a strip.
What now? Boyle and Anderson, flip to 10, 000 and fly high cover.
The rest of you guys get down and get your aircraft off the strip.
I'll fly you down, Jim.
Right.
Welcome to Vella La Cava! Hey, it looks like we're finally gonna have some fun.
Ooh, I think we got some pilots! Okay, Jim, let's make a pass at it.
I'll stay on your right.
I can't flare it out.
I'm going in.
He's out.
Go over and get him.
Casey, commandeer one of those jeeps.
Gun 'em until they're 100 yards over the hill.
Okay, Pappy, I'm on my way.
Okay, ladies.
Let's go.
That way.
Take it easy, Jim.
Jimmy.
I told you what I was gonna do, T.
J.
Pappy, I got $20 on Jim.
You're covered.
Give me an extra $5 at 2-to-1.
You got it.
How about you, French? I'll take some of that, Pappy.
I want Wiley.
You want in? I'll put $20 on T.
J.
Give me the $20.
Hi, are you guys gonna be stationed here or what? Come on, T.
J.
, nail him Oh, that's nice.
That's really nice.
I mean, I'm so glad you dropped by.
Yeah.
Which one do you like? Well, the Captain's kinda cute.
Yeah, have you got $10? Oh, yeah, but Come on, put him away.
I don't understand.
Get up, you guys! We need a winner or all these bets are off.
Come on! Come on now, T.
J.
You can do it! Are you in command of this circus, Major? Temporarily.
I would like to inform you that this airstrip is going to be off-limits for all medical personnel.
You got that, girls? Yeah.
I believe I'm in need of some medical assistance.
Me, too.
Look, Commander.
I think you got the wrong idea.
See, these men You know, you don't make a very good first impression, Major.
Neither do you, honey.
Oh, welcome to Vella La Cava, guys.
Let's go check out the living Quarters.
Casey, come here.
- Yes, sir.
Pick somebody and go find out what's left of Jim's plane.
Let's go.
Next week, there's a large concentration of Japanese fighter pilots arriving on San Mintos reef.
They're getting a strip ready.
We gotta blow up the field, or our bombers are gonna get clobbered.
Conserve your fuel, gentlemen, because returning from the slot is going to be a major problem.
Maybe we'll get to scrounge up some extra tanks over at Pelatau.
Uh, I'm here to report on those two pilots we got over at the hospital.
Capt.
Gutterman's got a concussion.
So I'm gonna keep him overnight.
But Lt.
Wiley tried to break into the nurses' Quarters on the second floor and he fell off the ledge.
Well, l--I put him in a room to check on him for internal injuries.
I went to get my medical bag, and by the time I got back, he did it again.
Where is he now? Lt.
Wiley is missin' in action, somewhere in that hospital.
I sure am glad you guys got here.
Ever since those Seabees pulled out, I have had one God-awful problem.
I've lost about 30 pounds and I believe I'm developin' a heart murmur.
War is hell, Doctor.
Uh, I'm Greg Boyington, you must be Jim Reese.
I'm what is left of Jim Reese.
I'd gladly trade you guys the floor plans of the hospital for a little relief from some of them ladies.
214, we're to be here for at least two weeks.
Depending on the hunting.
Mmm.
Well, you best get your flak vest, Major, 'cause we got word over at the hospital that some Rear Area flathead's on his way out here.
He's supposed to arrive tomorrow sometime in the afternoon.
And I believe he's looking to skin your hide and nail it to the outhouse door.
Let's see the floor plans of that hospital.
You got it.
Yes, yes.
Now, here in the Store, I call it the Store Okay, I wanna remind you guys that we're only here to find Lt.
Wiley who's in extreme medical jeopardy.
Now, any of you men lay a hand on a nurse, you're gonna have to answer toto somebody.
Right, Pappy.
Come on, let's go.
You sure this is okay? Yeah.
Sheryl will take over my duty.
Hi, there.
Hey, Marie, cover for me, will you? Hi.
Gee, I'm still on duty.
I'll cut it five minutes short.
Sure this is okay? What about the wounded? They're all asleep.
Hi.
Kill the lights, will ya, honey? All right, this is Cdr.
Delmonte.
Who's on duty here? The bomber wing was getting clobbered.
The Japanese were moving more and more fighters into the area.
We had to hit that field on San Mintos reef before they could get it set up.
Trouble was, it was deep in enemy territory.
And getting there and back with a bunch of unseasoned pilots could be dangerous.
On the way to the target, I decided to get in a little classroom instruction on ducking and flaming Zeros.
Gutterman and Wiley, let's see a scissors movement.
Boyle, calm down.
Roger, Pappy.
Come on, come on, T.
J.
, close it up! You gotta stay tight on his tail and cross under him.
Listen, you meatheads.
These Corsairs we're flying can't turn with a Zero.
Zero's lighter, but we're faster.
You try and turn with him, he's gonna cross under you and rip your belly open.
That's why we fly in pairs.
The Zero gets on your tail, you and your wingman make a scissors movement.
Then you're gonna end up on the Zero's tail and flame 'em.
You got it? Right, Gramps.
Got it.
Roger, Pappy.
Okay, Pappy, we got you.
Okay, Casey and French, let's see it.
Come on, Bragg, Anderson.
Better.
That's better.
Now you're gettin' it, guys.
Gutterman, you're too close.
Okay, you guys.
new Eddy, two, five, six.
We need a shot at the strip on San Mintos reef.
We're ready, Gramps.
Keep a sharp lookout for bogies.
Anybody seen one, you stay tight.
Don't break out without checking with me first.
Don't fly on my wingtips so close, will you? If I don't move, I suppose you're gonna shoot me down? It's been known to happen, Captain.
Okay, follow me in.
And stay out of the trees.
Wiley, pull up, you're coming in too low.
Get outta here.
Pappy, I, uh, kicked one of those palms back there.
Why didn't you pull up, T.
J.
? I was so intent on strafing the field II didn't see the palm trees.
Looks like I got a little left wing damage.
Damn, Wiley, looks like you knocked two feet off your wing tip! I'm losin' altitude, what do I do, Gramps? Increase your power.
I'll stay with this jerk and fly cover.
You go on, Gramps.
Hey, Gutterman, if you want to close up a little bit now, it's okay.
That's very humorous, T.
J.
(Greg) Okay, Jim, stick with him.
Head for the bomber base at Pelatau.
I'll take these guys home.
Right.
How the hell are you, Colonel? You really think you're pretty smart, don't you, Boyington? We already had that conversation.
You keep asking me the same question.
Let me list the charges against you.
Disregard of a superior officer's direct commands, piracy of 20 airplanes, the theft of a squadron number, illegal formation of a combat sQuadron without Pentagon approval, conduct unbecoming an officer, And I will throw in impersonating a medical officer, just to make it a round half dozen.
You left out a couple, Colonel.
Insubordination, drunk and disorderly Well, l, uh, I don't wanna be greedy, do l? Why don't you get your Rear Area butt out of my chair? You know, I've been looking over the personnel records of the men in this squadron you formed.
Capt.
Gutterman is a disgrace to the American uniform.
He has been dealing in everything from contraband liquor to black market silk stockings.
Lt.
French has been under hack almost his entire military career.
Oh, Lt.
Wiley.
Crashed three planes while undergoing Marine Corps pilot training, and I'll bet you've got him flying right now, haven't you? You have your facts mixed up, Colonel.
My facts are perfectly accurate! They may be accurate, but they're not current.
Lt.
Wiley shot down Capt.
Gutterman yesterday, making it four.
Ahem, it's, uh, five, sir.
He crash landed on our bomber strip on Pelatau.
He's okay but he wholesaled the plane.
There, you see? Now it's five.
You know, that boy has only been flying for three months, and he's already a Japanese ace? Boyington.
You're as good as in the brig right this minute.
Oh, it was very clever, you getting Gen.
Moore to support you in all this.
With all due respect to the General, he's not gonna last long in this war either.
I'm gonna fly directly to Fleet HeadQuarters, and I'm comin' away with your court-martial! Get out of here before I kick your chin up between your eyes.
Take your hands off me! You realize what you're doing? What the hell do you think you're doing? Get your hands off me! Adios, Colonel.
You're under arrest, for gross insubordination! And you better - Don't you come near me! Don't make me use this.
Take your hands off me! Anybody who breaks a regulation under my command is gonna go to the brig! Do you hear that? And I don't care how many Zeros he's shot down! You're gonna go to the brig, Major! You and all of these drunks and eight balls! You better get the hell out of here, Colonel! Keep away from me! That's tellin' him, Pappy.
Shut up, Don.
Just shut up.
How're you doin', Pappy? I'm doin' okay.
Where's T.
J.
? I left him on the ground at Pelatau.
How's his plane? Not good.
They got a Corsair on the ground over there that nobody's usin'.
The pilot set it down two weeks ago and just walked off into the jungle.
I'm trying to get somebody to fly it out, but Needs a little work.
T.
J.
's got a mechanic workin' on it right now.
Says he'll bring it over later tonight.
Personally, I think we ought to ground that kid.
I'll have a talk with him.
You better have more than a talk, Gramps.
I'll take him.
You take French.
I like the kid.
He flies a nurse better than anybody in the service.
But come to flying a plane, he's got no instinct.
I'll take him as my wingman.
We need everybody up in the air.
If he's gonna be flying, I'll keep him.
Kind of got used to him yelling: "Gutterman, get off my starboard wing!" Keeps me from going to sleep.
Hey, Jim.
Come on inside, will you? I want to have a talk with you.
Laird found us.
He's going to try and move around our end and bring this whole mess up to Fleet.
Gen.
Moore can cover us for a while, but let's face it, unless we become a pretty damn successful outfit in a hurry, they're gonna ship us out of here in cages.
I got another piece of bad news for you.
I was talking to a bomber pilot over at Pelatau, he says they already got the word on us.
Special orders, 214 isn't gonna get any fighter escort duties.
We know where that came from.
If Laird can keep us from gettin' bomber escort, we're not gonna get any Zeros.
Zeros don't come up after us.
They only go after bombers.
Damn Laird! He wouldn't give me a chance.
Listen, Greg, I don't like the man, but let's at least be honest.
You didn't give him much of a chance.
I know.
Just that I got a weakness for guys like that.
Show me a rule book commando, and I just can't help myself.
I gotta stick my foot out and see if I can trip him.
Sounds like a serious personality flaw.
I got more than one, Bunky.
Well, we're sunk.
We're never gonna suck the Japanese into a straight fighter plane shootout.
They got orders to only go after the bomber wing.
You got an idea? Yeah.
Well, let's hear it.
I'm gonna get a bottle of Scotch I got hidden.
And get drunk.
That ain't much of a plan, Greg.
I never said it was.
I'm sorry, Pappy.
Hey, that's okay, Jerry.
Here, sit down, have yourself a drink.
I was just over at the hospital.
Got a lock on that side door.
Don't worry about that.
Anderson used to work for a hardware store.
We'll get him to pick the lock and make us a key.
Yeah! You ever seen the light, Pappy? No.
Heard some guys talking about it.
You know, it's spooky.
You sit around and you just know your number's been called.
Ain't that something? I ain't even seen a Zero, and I got that feeling.
You do, huh? Yeah, Pappy.
Why don't you tell me about it? I don't see how that will help.
Listen, Jerry, we don't have a chaplain here, and I'm your commanding officer.
So if you got something that makes you feel funny, why don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help you.
I was just sitting around this afternoon.
I got this feeling I was a dead man.
I knew if I was going on a mission, I wasn't gonna come back.
It's a feeling.
But it's real.
Get up, Jerry.
What is it, Gramps? Why? I got something that's gonna help you.
Hey, what are you doing? Hey, Bragg.
Yeah, Gramps? You still see the light? No.
If I don't die in the next ten minutes, I feel like I'm gonna live forever.
Come on, Gutterman.
Wake up.
What happened to you? I know how we can do it.
I know how we can get those Jap fighters to come play with us.
You okay? What happened to you? We'll fake 'em off.
How do you like that, Jim? It's a hell of a plan, isn't it? Yeah, Greg, that's a whale of an idea.
Why don't you pick out a piece of the floor over there and grab yourself some shut-eye? 'Cause in three hours, we're going to be flying.
We're gonna be in the air before the sun's up.
Extra fuel.
Everybody goes.
You're serious, aren't you? You better believe it.
We're gonna hit Bougainville, we're gonna get every fighter that the Japs have there up in the air for a game of tag.
They won't go up, Greg, they got their orders.
Oh, yes, they will.
This time they will.
Where you going? I'm gonna arrange things with the General.
Gonna wake up you bums at 0430.
I was sound asleep.
What did he want? He's drunk.
I was having a hell of a good dream.
Guess I won't get it back now.
This mission was important.
Even though we'd hit San Mintos reef and put it out of action, the Japanese just up and moved the fighter squadron to Guam.
It was still pounding hell out of the bombers.
They wouldn't come up and fight us, and that posed a strange problem.
And of course, strange problems bring strange solutions.
All my life I'd been a huckster.
I conned my way into the Service and stole the squadron.
Maybe last night Bragg knocked some sense into me.
Why should I spend my career only messing with the Marines? What the hell? Why not spread it around and start conning the Japanese? In five minutes we're gonna be over the Jap fighter strip at Bougainville headed toward Guam.
Everybody form up in a "V.
" Like a bomber flight.
Now the whole trick here is to make the Japanese think we're bombers on the way to Guam.
Then they'll come up after us.
Everybody up to 13,000 ft.
Okay, you guys.
You just flunked the fighter pilot test.
You're now bomber pilots.
Let's get on their frequency and sound like it.
This is bomber group to Charlie One.
We're at 13,000 and turning onto our final approach.
Set up on targets and check formation points.
Roger, Charlie One.
We have, uh, base leg operational.
We're set up on Guam.
E.
T.
A.
, five minutes.
Tail gunners and waist gunners, keep a sharp eye out.
Roger, group.
We don't have any bogies so far.
Keep the formation tight and stand by.
We'll commence bombing in five minutes.
Keep sharp.
Get the fighers up.
There's an American bomber squadron heading for Guam.
Keep these formations tight, men.
We've reached our target.
Roger, Charlie One.
First assault squadron is ready for run.
We're coming down to 6, 000 feet.
Standby.
Roger, we're with you.
Flight leaders, check in.
"A" flight, ready.
"B" flight, ready.
"C" flight, ready.
Roger, flight leaders.
Change back to regular frequency.
All right, now we've got them on the way up.
Hold your positions.
Get set, on your guns.
They've tricked us.
Alright, now let's teach them a lesson.
Okay, here come the meatballs.
Break into twos and let's go get them.
Hey, I got one eating my tail! I'm comin', T.
J.
! Get a little closer, will ya, buddy? Okay, French, cover me.
I'm on one.
Right, Gramps.
Way to go, Pappy.
Two bogies at seven o'clock.
Get under him, French.
Got it, Gramps.
I'll fly cover, you take him.
Casey, give us some help over here, will you? Hey, Casey, where the hell are you? I've got problems of my own.
Break left, break left, Jerry.
They're breaking off, I guess they've had enough.
Okay, let's get out of here.
That's it, meatheads, let's head for home.
How many kills do we have? Uh, I got three, Greg.
I got two.
Got two, Pappy.
What about you, Gramps? I got two of 'em, Pappy, and I didn't see the light.
How about you, Wiley? I got shut out.
Didn't get anybody.
Well, at least you didn't get one of us.
There's some satisfaction in that.
How many did you get, Gramps? I got five.
Eighteen? That's gotta be a squadron record.
It actually happened.
We got 18 victories and no losses.
Sometimes, I guess, we just get lucky.
Congratulations, Maj.
Boyington.
We just got a confirmation from an Aussie coast watcher and you have 18 kills.
We'd like to get your statement or any remark you might have to make for the folks back home.
You're gonna be an honest to goodness war hero in about 48 hours.
Well, tell the folks back home that I wasn't up there alone.
And that we just got lucky, that's all.
Oh, go ahead and tell 'em! Pappy faked 'em out, and we kicked the hell out of 'em! Pappy? Yeah, that's right, he may be an old man, but he can shoot like crazy.
Yeah, I know, Colonel, I think I'm pretty sharp.
Would you like to pull yourself away from all this, uh, glory, and step inside, Major? Excuse me, fellas, I'm gonna get chewed out.
Congratulations, fellas.
For a bunch of black sheep, you shoot pretty straight.
Thank you.
You have been charged with disobeying orders, illegal constitution of a squadron, assaulting a superior officer Wait a minute.
You pulled a gun on me if you remember, Colonel.
piracy of 20 Marine aircraft, and conduct unbecoming an officer.
Listen, Laird, you've got big trouble brewing.
I doubt that.
Oh, yeah? If you wanna play boy scout, that's great.
But if you try and court-martial a squadron that just chalked up eighteen Zeros, you'd look like mud to the press and to the Marine Corps public relations people.
We will see about that.
- No, we won't.
General, I was just about to relieve Maj.
Boyington of his command.
No, you won't, Colonel.
Boyington is right.
We're supposed to be selling the war effort out here.
Now somebody does something good, you don't hang a jacket on him.
That just doesn't make any sense.
I don't wanna be argumentative, but this Major is in my command and I have the right to bring him up on charges.
That is my right as a Marine Corps officer.
I suppose that's true, Colonel.
But you've got no right to relieve him if I don't want him relieved! It's the same thing.
- No, it's not the same thing! Technically, he can still command his squadron and be under hack while awaiting a general court-martial.
Here, look it up.
It's in the manual.
However, I would recommend that you don't make a fool of yourself and go on record as court-martialing a national hero.
Our job is to win the war and guys like Boyington are doing it.
General, this man is not a hero, he is He is a bum, he is a drunken bum! General, you cannot run the Marine Corps and not follow regulations.
You cannot I will not withdraw the charges.
Major, you are under hack, pending disposition of these charges.
If the General wishes, you may remain in command of these, uh, men.
However, you will not be allowed to leave your quarters when not flying.
And you will not be allowed alcoholic beverages.
And you will not be allowed to attend outdoor movies.
We'll see who ends up winning this one, sir.
I intend to have Boyington cashiered.
You get out of here, Laird, before I throw you out again.
General, you are a witness.
This man is threatening me for the second time.
Laird, I suggest you get the hell out of here before he kills you! Yes, sir.
I've got to admit, Greg, watching you get into trouble has become one of my major amusements.
At least I get to keep my squadron.
For a while.
Uh, those nurses still on the island? Yes, sir.
That's why I picked this out.
Uh, you're gonna have any luaus? Yes, sir.
You take those damn stars off.
War is hell, isn't it, son? Patsy Kelly.
- Patsy Kelly? Yeah.
Somebody once said that wherever I went, I just set up my own Marine Corps.
There was a reason for that.
They didn't much like the way they had it set up before I got there.
My guys stayed in more trouble on the ground and in the air than any other squadron in Marine Corps history.
We were a haven for drunks, and screw-ups, and troublemakers, but it didn't seem to matter to the nurses.
And God knows it didn't matter much to me.
Some of us lived.
Some died.
But we were always Black Sheep.
Just name a hero, and I'll prove he's a bum.