Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
[SIREN WAILING.]
We have a 50-year-old male, chest pains, labored breathing! Hang in there, brother.
You're gonna be okay! Of course he's gonna be okay.
It's just gas! It's not gas, Mom! I'm having a heart attack! Well, maybe now you'll stop eating defenseless animals.
Not now, Christina! We'll take it from here.
- I love you, Bobby! - Wait! [PASSING WIND.]
No, it's my heart.
Pretty.
Huh? You look like an angel.
Ah.
How are you feeling? Okay, I guess.
So what happened? You had three stents put in.
Is that a lot? For a man your size, no.
I got to pee.
Do I just do it or do I go somewhere? No, don't just do it.
Here, let me help you.
[GROANS.]
- Easy.
- [GROANS.]
Slow, slow.
It's okay.
I got it.
You have nothing.
Lean on me.
Would you mind showing me your socks? Huh? Socks are my business.
Let me see.
Come on.
Narvanis RD-75s.
That's a shame.
What is wrong with them? Ah, they're made on the cheap in Vietnam.
One wash, they get all droopy in the top band.
They do.
That's 'cause they use a synthetic latex, whereas MaxDot Compression Socks, the company I happen to own, uses a natural blend.
So yours are better? The Canadian Association of Chiropodists thinks so.
I'll get you a couple of pairs, you'll see.
Thank you.
All right, so, uh, this is my stop.
Uh, leave the door open.
I'll wait out here for you.
Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work.
I'm a little pee-shy.
Well, I cannot leave you alone.
If you fall down, who's going to pick you up? Not me.
Okay, okay.
[TOILET SEAT CLICKS UP.]
You know, I have other patients.
That's not helping.
Would you like me to insert a catheter in your penis? I really don't.
[SIGHS.]
[SINGING TRADITIONAL YORUBA FOLK SONG.]
That's nice.
What's that? I used to sing this for my son before I put him to bed.
Always worked.
[RESUMES SINGING FOLK SONG.]
[LIQUID POURING.]
Hey, hey, would you look at that! No, thank you.
You come here often? Yes.
I work 12-hour shifts, three, four days a week.
No, I was making a joke.
Oh.
It was not funny.
Yeah, I got that.
- What's your name? - Abishola.
What a coincidence.
That's my mother's name.
Another joke? Yeah.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
People call you Abi? No.
Go back in there and wash your hands.
All right.
[WATER RUNNING.]
It's a pretty name, Abishola.
What's it mean? "Born to wealth.
" Oh, so you just work here for fun? Is it one of those ironic things, like when guys call me "Slim"? But you are not slim.
Yeah, I was Okay.
Is-Is-Is is my family still around? Yes.
Would you like me to get them? Oh, God, no.
Actually, tell 'em I died.
[LAUGHS.]
Ah, that joke you liked.
I understand having a difficult family.
Yeah? What's the deal with yours? - That is not your business.
- Okay.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
If you like, I can tell your family you're sleeping and to come back in the morning.
Ah, that'd be great.
Thanks, Abi.
- Abishola.
- Abishola, sorry.
You can call me Bob.
Good night, Bob.
[LAUGHS.]
What now? I never liked the sound of my name, but when you say it, it sounds nice.
Bob.
Say it again.
[LAUGHS.]
- Good night, Bob.
- Oh, yeah.
It's way better than "Bahb.
" ["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING.]
BOB: You know, I didn't see one nurse in this hospital wearing our socks.
Oh, Bob.
You're just like your father.
Always working, always looking for opportunities.
Yeah, but Daddy died when he was 58.
So Bob gets to kick ass for eight more years.
Every foot in here should have a MaxDot sock on it.
That includes orderlies, food service, morgue attendants, this guy back here.
DOUGLAS: I'm on it.
I'll set up a meeting with Sales and Marketing for first thing in the morning.
That won't work.
I have therapy in the morning.
Tomorrow morning's no good.
Sales and Marketing has therapy.
Christina, your marriage ended.
You wanted a job, I gave you a job.
Do the job! - Don't yell at me! - Don't yell at your sister, Bob! I'm not yelling at my sister.
I'm yelling at Sales and Marketing! Want me to take that off your plate, Sis? Just stick with running your HR department.
And I'll ask it again.
We're a family business.
Why do we need human resources? Because we're humans, Christina! - Wait on a sec.
- What's wrong? Did you pop a stent? No, I'm fine.
Uh, there was a nurse here last night.
She was really nice to me.
I I wanted to thank her.
Oh, come on.
Oh, I saw that movie.
Sexy nurse, late at night, happy ending fully covered by Blue Cross.
That's why we need human resources.
Seriously? Guy's screwing us, and you say "Have a lucky day"? Really? Is that what I said? Can we please focus? First Nike pushed us out of Korea.
Now they're pushing us out of Malaysia.
Calm down, Bob.
You're no good to us dead.
How can I calm down?! We are running out of Asian people to make our socks! Maybe it's for the best.
Maybe it's time we stop exploiting these people.
We don't exploit anybody.
We contract foreign companies to do that.
All we do is turn a blind eye.
DOUGLAS: But we treat them great.
- We had suicide nets way before Apple.
- [ABISHOLA SINGING FOLK SONG.]
DOTTIE: Are you listening to yourselves? You are both horrible [SINGING CONTINUES.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
Hi.
I was hoping you could help me.
I'm looking for a nurse.
Her name is Abishola.
Oh, she's not on right now.
Can I give her a message? Uh, well, I wanted to bring her some socks.
Socks? Yeah, they're compression socks.
Very therapeutic, especially if you're on your feet a lot.
Oh.
Nice.
Got an activated charcoal thread in the toes.
Real odor eater.
Would you like me to give 'em to her? Actually, uh, I'd like to give 'em to her myself.
Do you do you have her address? Oh, I can't give that out.
I understand.
Would a pair of socks change your mind? Are they magic socks? All right, what's it gonna take? Honey, you in Detroit.
You need to give me some money.
May I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Abishola.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Abishola is sleeping.
She worked very late.
What do you want with Abishola? Is she in trouble? No, no.
Nothing like that.
Close the door.
There's something wrong.
Why does there have to be something wrong? There's a white man at the door.
Tell me, when has that ever been good? [KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
What do we do? Get the boy.
Can I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Abishola.
I want to bring her socks.
Excuse me.
- He has socks.
- What? Socks.
He's selling them? No, I believe that they are a gift.
Oh, no, this is bad.
This is because you keep taking those ketchup packets from Wendy's.
[EXHALES.]
What is going on? There's a big white guy out there with a bag of socks.
AUNTIE OLU: For you.
What did you do for those socks? I did not do anything.
Excuse me, Auntie.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Remember me? - Yes.
Pee-Shy Bob.
What do you want? Well, I promised you the best-made socks in the world, and I am a man who keeps his promises.
Thank you.
Go ahead, give that top band a workout.
You can't hurt it.
- Very nice.
- Basically indestructible.
Although I wouldn't wear them around an open flame.
Okay.
So, uh, anyway, is today, like, a day off for you? Yes.
Goodbye.
Hey, hey, hey, where are you going? Back to sleep.
Who was that man? A patient at the hospital.
But why does he bring you socks? He likes the way I say "Bob.
" Good night.
Bob was right.
These are very wonderful socks.
Here is your breakfast, Mum.
Ah.
Thank you, Dele.
Can I ask you something? Make it fast.
I have to catch the bus.
I was invited to join the track team at school.
Oh.
That's nice.
Yes.
The coach told me that I am an exceptionally fast runner.
I see.
And will running fast help you become a doctor? No, but it would be fun.
Oh, you want fun? Study hard, get good grades, become a doctor and take care of me when I'm old.
That will be fun.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Good morning, Uncle.
Good morning, Auntie.
Good morning, Auntie and Uncle.
Uh-uh.
Aren't those my socks? Yes.
They are very comfortable.
Although I don't know why they call them "flesh tone.
" Thank you.
- I brought you a gift.
- Ah? Oh! It has latex on the top so it doesn't droop.
Very fancy.
Where did you get these? [CHUCKLES.]
One of my cardiac patients.
- Hmm.
- He brought it to my home.
Uh-uh, to your home? Good.
You're ready for another husband.
And one with a weak heart.
Even better.
I am not looking for a husband.
Let me be the judge of that.
What does he do? He makes socks.
Oh, he sews like a woman? No, it's his business.
Ah, so a businessman has come to your house to court you.
There's no courtship.
He just brought me socks now.
From his business.
[CHUCKLES.]
I like this man.
He's a white man.
Eh, a woman of your age cannot be picky.
Here's 50 bucks.
What for? Sold you out for a hundred.
Glad you're still alive.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Hello? Yes, this is she.
He did what? No, that can't be right.
My son is a good boy.
He does not get in fights at school.
Are you sure there's not another Dele Babatunde Adebambo? Hmm.
Okay.
I'll be right there.
- Cover for me.
- Go.
ABISHOLA: I don't understand.
My son does not make fights.
Well, apparently some unfortunate words were said to him, and he lost his temper.
I don't care who said what.
Her son assaulted my son.
Yes, I got that part.
Now, what was the unfortunate word your son said to my son? That's not important.
It's just trash talk.
ABISHOLA: Okay, I'll ask again.
What trash did her son say? I'm just gonna write it down.
Ah.
"Jungle bitch.
" Again, trash talk.
So, your son, who I assume is the same color as you, uses a racist word for my son.
How is this possible? Still no excuse for him throwing a chair at my Calvin.
Hey, call me a jungle bitch and see how fast I throw a chair at you.
Okay, okay, let's-let's all just take a deep breath and figure out how we can resolve this.
Oh, I'm breathing fine.
I'm breathing just fine.
How about this? You teach your son to speak with respect towards my son, who is a straight A student.
And there'll be no more fighting.
That's not good enough.
Her kid should be suspended.
Ah.
And what grades does her Calvin get? I don't see how that's important.
ABISHOLA: Well, one of these two boys is going to be a doctor, and I'll give you a clue.
It is not your Calvin.
I'm sorry, Mom.
You have three days suspension, during which you will do all your homework, and clean the apartment from top to bottom.
When you are finished, we'll find more homework for you to do.
Yes, Mom.
And I think you should join the track team.
- Really? - Yes.
One day, you'll throw the chair at the wrong person, and need to run for your life.
[MONITOR FLATLINING.]
Come on, Mr.
Liebman, come back to us.
Everyone clear.
- Clear.
- Clear.
[ELECTRIC JOLT.]
[MONITOR CONTINUES FLATLINING.]
That's enough.
I'm calling it.
Time of death, 5:47.
[MONITOR SHUTS OFF.]
Look at him.
A fountain of compassion.
They say he's on the spectrum, but I think he's just a dick.
Hello? Is this Mrs.
Liebman? Mrs.
Liebman, this is Abishola, from Woodward Memorial Hospital.
I'm so very sorry to inform you that Hey, hey, whose legs need a hug? What? I was next door getting a checkup for the old ticker, I thought I'd swing by, bring you some more socks.
Please wait.
Hello, Mrs.
Liebman? Are you still there? These are the new fall colors.
Nobody else has them.
Shh! Yes, yes, your-your husband passed away at 5:47 this evening.
Yes.
Come whenever you're able.
My condolences to you and your family.
What is wrong with you? Guy died, huh? Yes, a guy died.
I-I'm real sorry about that.
Why don't we, uh, pick this up another time? Good plan.
Wait.
Yeah? Leave the socks.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
What, a guy can't take the bus? - Do whatever you want.
- Come on.
You can't tell me you didn't feel something special when you sang to me in the toilet.
- You are a crazy man.
- I must be.
I'm getting on a bus, I don't know where it's going.
Hey, uh Tell you what, here's a 20.
Next ten guys are on me.
All right? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Thank you.
Ah, this is nice.
Roomy.
I thought there'd be more weirdos.
You are the weirdo.
Guaiwu.
That's Mandarin for weirdo.
So, where you from? Nigeria.
Wow.
That's a heck of a commute, huh? Hello, Abishola.
Hello, Kemi.
Who is this? Eh-heh.
So you're telling your friends about me, huh? Hey, she's wearing my socks.
We have a 50-year-old male, chest pains, labored breathing! Hang in there, brother.
You're gonna be okay! Of course he's gonna be okay.
It's just gas! It's not gas, Mom! I'm having a heart attack! Well, maybe now you'll stop eating defenseless animals.
Not now, Christina! We'll take it from here.
- I love you, Bobby! - Wait! [PASSING WIND.]
No, it's my heart.
Pretty.
Huh? You look like an angel.
Ah.
How are you feeling? Okay, I guess.
So what happened? You had three stents put in.
Is that a lot? For a man your size, no.
I got to pee.
Do I just do it or do I go somewhere? No, don't just do it.
Here, let me help you.
[GROANS.]
- Easy.
- [GROANS.]
Slow, slow.
It's okay.
I got it.
You have nothing.
Lean on me.
Would you mind showing me your socks? Huh? Socks are my business.
Let me see.
Come on.
Narvanis RD-75s.
That's a shame.
What is wrong with them? Ah, they're made on the cheap in Vietnam.
One wash, they get all droopy in the top band.
They do.
That's 'cause they use a synthetic latex, whereas MaxDot Compression Socks, the company I happen to own, uses a natural blend.
So yours are better? The Canadian Association of Chiropodists thinks so.
I'll get you a couple of pairs, you'll see.
Thank you.
All right, so, uh, this is my stop.
Uh, leave the door open.
I'll wait out here for you.
Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work.
I'm a little pee-shy.
Well, I cannot leave you alone.
If you fall down, who's going to pick you up? Not me.
Okay, okay.
[TOILET SEAT CLICKS UP.]
You know, I have other patients.
That's not helping.
Would you like me to insert a catheter in your penis? I really don't.
[SIGHS.]
[SINGING TRADITIONAL YORUBA FOLK SONG.]
That's nice.
What's that? I used to sing this for my son before I put him to bed.
Always worked.
[RESUMES SINGING FOLK SONG.]
[LIQUID POURING.]
Hey, hey, would you look at that! No, thank you.
You come here often? Yes.
I work 12-hour shifts, three, four days a week.
No, I was making a joke.
Oh.
It was not funny.
Yeah, I got that.
- What's your name? - Abishola.
What a coincidence.
That's my mother's name.
Another joke? Yeah.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
People call you Abi? No.
Go back in there and wash your hands.
All right.
[WATER RUNNING.]
It's a pretty name, Abishola.
What's it mean? "Born to wealth.
" Oh, so you just work here for fun? Is it one of those ironic things, like when guys call me "Slim"? But you are not slim.
Yeah, I was Okay.
Is-Is-Is is my family still around? Yes.
Would you like me to get them? Oh, God, no.
Actually, tell 'em I died.
[LAUGHS.]
Ah, that joke you liked.
I understand having a difficult family.
Yeah? What's the deal with yours? - That is not your business.
- Okay.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
If you like, I can tell your family you're sleeping and to come back in the morning.
Ah, that'd be great.
Thanks, Abi.
- Abishola.
- Abishola, sorry.
You can call me Bob.
Good night, Bob.
[LAUGHS.]
What now? I never liked the sound of my name, but when you say it, it sounds nice.
Bob.
Say it again.
[LAUGHS.]
- Good night, Bob.
- Oh, yeah.
It's way better than "Bahb.
" ["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING.]
BOB: You know, I didn't see one nurse in this hospital wearing our socks.
Oh, Bob.
You're just like your father.
Always working, always looking for opportunities.
Yeah, but Daddy died when he was 58.
So Bob gets to kick ass for eight more years.
Every foot in here should have a MaxDot sock on it.
That includes orderlies, food service, morgue attendants, this guy back here.
DOUGLAS: I'm on it.
I'll set up a meeting with Sales and Marketing for first thing in the morning.
That won't work.
I have therapy in the morning.
Tomorrow morning's no good.
Sales and Marketing has therapy.
Christina, your marriage ended.
You wanted a job, I gave you a job.
Do the job! - Don't yell at me! - Don't yell at your sister, Bob! I'm not yelling at my sister.
I'm yelling at Sales and Marketing! Want me to take that off your plate, Sis? Just stick with running your HR department.
And I'll ask it again.
We're a family business.
Why do we need human resources? Because we're humans, Christina! - Wait on a sec.
- What's wrong? Did you pop a stent? No, I'm fine.
Uh, there was a nurse here last night.
She was really nice to me.
I I wanted to thank her.
Oh, come on.
Oh, I saw that movie.
Sexy nurse, late at night, happy ending fully covered by Blue Cross.
That's why we need human resources.
Seriously? Guy's screwing us, and you say "Have a lucky day"? Really? Is that what I said? Can we please focus? First Nike pushed us out of Korea.
Now they're pushing us out of Malaysia.
Calm down, Bob.
You're no good to us dead.
How can I calm down?! We are running out of Asian people to make our socks! Maybe it's for the best.
Maybe it's time we stop exploiting these people.
We don't exploit anybody.
We contract foreign companies to do that.
All we do is turn a blind eye.
DOUGLAS: But we treat them great.
- We had suicide nets way before Apple.
- [ABISHOLA SINGING FOLK SONG.]
DOTTIE: Are you listening to yourselves? You are both horrible [SINGING CONTINUES.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
Hi.
I was hoping you could help me.
I'm looking for a nurse.
Her name is Abishola.
Oh, she's not on right now.
Can I give her a message? Uh, well, I wanted to bring her some socks.
Socks? Yeah, they're compression socks.
Very therapeutic, especially if you're on your feet a lot.
Oh.
Nice.
Got an activated charcoal thread in the toes.
Real odor eater.
Would you like me to give 'em to her? Actually, uh, I'd like to give 'em to her myself.
Do you do you have her address? Oh, I can't give that out.
I understand.
Would a pair of socks change your mind? Are they magic socks? All right, what's it gonna take? Honey, you in Detroit.
You need to give me some money.
May I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Abishola.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Abishola is sleeping.
She worked very late.
What do you want with Abishola? Is she in trouble? No, no.
Nothing like that.
Close the door.
There's something wrong.
Why does there have to be something wrong? There's a white man at the door.
Tell me, when has that ever been good? [KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
What do we do? Get the boy.
Can I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Abishola.
I want to bring her socks.
Excuse me.
- He has socks.
- What? Socks.
He's selling them? No, I believe that they are a gift.
Oh, no, this is bad.
This is because you keep taking those ketchup packets from Wendy's.
[EXHALES.]
What is going on? There's a big white guy out there with a bag of socks.
AUNTIE OLU: For you.
What did you do for those socks? I did not do anything.
Excuse me, Auntie.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Remember me? - Yes.
Pee-Shy Bob.
What do you want? Well, I promised you the best-made socks in the world, and I am a man who keeps his promises.
Thank you.
Go ahead, give that top band a workout.
You can't hurt it.
- Very nice.
- Basically indestructible.
Although I wouldn't wear them around an open flame.
Okay.
So, uh, anyway, is today, like, a day off for you? Yes.
Goodbye.
Hey, hey, hey, where are you going? Back to sleep.
Who was that man? A patient at the hospital.
But why does he bring you socks? He likes the way I say "Bob.
" Good night.
Bob was right.
These are very wonderful socks.
Here is your breakfast, Mum.
Ah.
Thank you, Dele.
Can I ask you something? Make it fast.
I have to catch the bus.
I was invited to join the track team at school.
Oh.
That's nice.
Yes.
The coach told me that I am an exceptionally fast runner.
I see.
And will running fast help you become a doctor? No, but it would be fun.
Oh, you want fun? Study hard, get good grades, become a doctor and take care of me when I'm old.
That will be fun.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Good morning, Uncle.
Good morning, Auntie.
Good morning, Auntie and Uncle.
Uh-uh.
Aren't those my socks? Yes.
They are very comfortable.
Although I don't know why they call them "flesh tone.
" Thank you.
- I brought you a gift.
- Ah? Oh! It has latex on the top so it doesn't droop.
Very fancy.
Where did you get these? [CHUCKLES.]
One of my cardiac patients.
- Hmm.
- He brought it to my home.
Uh-uh, to your home? Good.
You're ready for another husband.
And one with a weak heart.
Even better.
I am not looking for a husband.
Let me be the judge of that.
What does he do? He makes socks.
Oh, he sews like a woman? No, it's his business.
Ah, so a businessman has come to your house to court you.
There's no courtship.
He just brought me socks now.
From his business.
[CHUCKLES.]
I like this man.
He's a white man.
Eh, a woman of your age cannot be picky.
Here's 50 bucks.
What for? Sold you out for a hundred.
Glad you're still alive.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Hello? Yes, this is she.
He did what? No, that can't be right.
My son is a good boy.
He does not get in fights at school.
Are you sure there's not another Dele Babatunde Adebambo? Hmm.
Okay.
I'll be right there.
- Cover for me.
- Go.
ABISHOLA: I don't understand.
My son does not make fights.
Well, apparently some unfortunate words were said to him, and he lost his temper.
I don't care who said what.
Her son assaulted my son.
Yes, I got that part.
Now, what was the unfortunate word your son said to my son? That's not important.
It's just trash talk.
ABISHOLA: Okay, I'll ask again.
What trash did her son say? I'm just gonna write it down.
Ah.
"Jungle bitch.
" Again, trash talk.
So, your son, who I assume is the same color as you, uses a racist word for my son.
How is this possible? Still no excuse for him throwing a chair at my Calvin.
Hey, call me a jungle bitch and see how fast I throw a chair at you.
Okay, okay, let's-let's all just take a deep breath and figure out how we can resolve this.
Oh, I'm breathing fine.
I'm breathing just fine.
How about this? You teach your son to speak with respect towards my son, who is a straight A student.
And there'll be no more fighting.
That's not good enough.
Her kid should be suspended.
Ah.
And what grades does her Calvin get? I don't see how that's important.
ABISHOLA: Well, one of these two boys is going to be a doctor, and I'll give you a clue.
It is not your Calvin.
I'm sorry, Mom.
You have three days suspension, during which you will do all your homework, and clean the apartment from top to bottom.
When you are finished, we'll find more homework for you to do.
Yes, Mom.
And I think you should join the track team.
- Really? - Yes.
One day, you'll throw the chair at the wrong person, and need to run for your life.
[MONITOR FLATLINING.]
Come on, Mr.
Liebman, come back to us.
Everyone clear.
- Clear.
- Clear.
[ELECTRIC JOLT.]
[MONITOR CONTINUES FLATLINING.]
That's enough.
I'm calling it.
Time of death, 5:47.
[MONITOR SHUTS OFF.]
Look at him.
A fountain of compassion.
They say he's on the spectrum, but I think he's just a dick.
Hello? Is this Mrs.
Liebman? Mrs.
Liebman, this is Abishola, from Woodward Memorial Hospital.
I'm so very sorry to inform you that Hey, hey, whose legs need a hug? What? I was next door getting a checkup for the old ticker, I thought I'd swing by, bring you some more socks.
Please wait.
Hello, Mrs.
Liebman? Are you still there? These are the new fall colors.
Nobody else has them.
Shh! Yes, yes, your-your husband passed away at 5:47 this evening.
Yes.
Come whenever you're able.
My condolences to you and your family.
What is wrong with you? Guy died, huh? Yes, a guy died.
I-I'm real sorry about that.
Why don't we, uh, pick this up another time? Good plan.
Wait.
Yeah? Leave the socks.
Hi.
Oh, my God.
What, a guy can't take the bus? - Do whatever you want.
- Come on.
You can't tell me you didn't feel something special when you sang to me in the toilet.
- You are a crazy man.
- I must be.
I'm getting on a bus, I don't know where it's going.
Hey, uh Tell you what, here's a 20.
Next ten guys are on me.
All right? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Thank you.
Ah, this is nice.
Roomy.
I thought there'd be more weirdos.
You are the weirdo.
Guaiwu.
That's Mandarin for weirdo.
So, where you from? Nigeria.
Wow.
That's a heck of a commute, huh? Hello, Abishola.
Hello, Kemi.
Who is this? Eh-heh.
So you're telling your friends about me, huh? Hey, she's wearing my socks.