Breaking Bad: Original Minisodes (2009) s01e01 Episode Script

Man,
you look so freakin' good, baby.
- I could
- Shut up.
Don't you fucking look at me.
I'm not your baby, you punk ass.
Sir, yes, sir.
I think that you need to obey me.
Unless you want me to stick this
where the sun doesn't shine.
No, ma'am.
I don't think I'd like that.
Just yet.
You're gonna pay for that,
you dirty little pervert.
Right on, cowgirl.
Shut up!
Hands where I can see 'em.
You're under arrest here, pal.
Sergeant,
are you gonna take avantage of me?
I want you to tell me all your
dirty filthy secrets,
you dirty little boy.
I want a full confession.
I want to tell you everything.
Aren't you going to read me
my rights?
You have no rights!
You're a perp
and you have no rights.
Actually, I do.
I got the right to remain silent.
Just say,
"You have the right to remain silent."
Jesus. For God's sake, Hank.
I'm just saying, I got rights,
you gotta merandize.
I think that if you want
a piece of this action,
that you will get me a full confession,
you dirty little scal.
What?
Just "scal".
We don't "Scal", it's
It's so 1985.
It's like some bad TV show, you know
What are you doing?
I'm just saying,
a little authenticity here.
All right, let's do a different one.
I'm a terrorist, you're the CIA.
No upper grabby hands.
Honnestly, the water boarding?
Fun for you, not so fun for me.
Do whatever you want, come on.
Do whatever you want.
I ask you
for a little creativity in the bedroom.
A little.
And what?
I'm asking for the moon?
Apparently!
Enough.
All right, I'll shut up.
All right, I will say something.
I'll confess!
Nice goddamn Valentine's Day
this turned out to be.
Honey, come on.
Sugartit?