Call Me Dad (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
-What's going on?
-What?
-What are you doing?
-I was just dreaming.
-You're being noisy.
-Sorry.
THREE WEEKS EARLIER
CALL ME DAD
Hi, Erik!
Hello, lad. Say hi to your mum.
Sure. Have a nice walk.
Thanks.
Morning.
Mum?
Hi.
Hi, darling.
What are you doing here?
-Did you just get up?
-Yes.
-Did you have fun?
-Yes.
-Lone?
-Yes, she just got back from Bali.
Nice. How about I get started?
-With what?
-Your waste recycling system
-I'm installing it for you.
-Was that today?
-Yes.
-No
-We spoke about it last week.
-I totally forgot.
-Never mind. I'll just fix it.
-Let's just drop it.
It'll only take 5-10 minutes.
I can't be bothered.
You'll have to drill.
There's already drilling in my head.
Don't do that, sweetie.
I'll handle it.
I'll fix it.
Are you
-I just had a
-Hey, hey
I just really want to
go back to bed.
Yes, of course. You do that.
-Yes. Let's talk later.
-Take it easy. I'll go to work.
I hope you feel better soon. Bye.
-Hi.
-Morning.
-Hi.
-Morning. Sorry I'm late.
-Stop right there. What's with you?
-Huh?
-What's all this?
-Don't do that.
Why is your hair a mess? Why
No, excuse me! Stop that.
-Have you been shagging?
-Am I not allowed to?
Sure, but you could have
showered before work.
I would have been more late
and you'd be bickering. Let me see.
Keep you shagging fingers off me!
Wash your hands!
-Sure.
-For God's sake.
Please prepare the redcurrants
for the panna cotta.
What's the cream for?
The panna cotta.
Didn't we agree not to use
animal dairy products?
Sure, but your girlfriend isn't back
from the Cash and Carry yet.
-Howdy.
-Hi.
Can you get the rest of the bags?
They were so heavy.
-Did you shop at Irma, Carla?
-Yes.
-What about the Cash and Carry?
-Sure, but
It was so far, so I went to Irma.
-They're next door to each other.
-Does it matter where I shopped?
Not if you don't care how
much more expensive Irma is.
-Did you get everything?
-Sure.
Where's the oat cream?
It was sold out.
The Cash and Carry never sells out.
What about lemongrass?
I didn't get lemongrass,
but I got lemons.
It's not the same thing.
-Do you know that?
-Why did you shop at Irma?
-That's enough!
-Half the ingredients are missing.
I've been running around, my wrists
are killing me from the heavy bags,
-and you're babbling about lemons!
-Lemongrass!
-Let's all calm down.
-For Christ's sake!
-Why can't you be nice to her?
-I think I'm being nice!
She's not all there.
There's something wrong.
-No, it's her ADD.
-Her ADD?
-Sure.
-Did a GP tell you that?
Carla did. She hasn't been able
to concentrate or focus for a while.
Our business is social-minded
and responsible.
We have to handle it.
-I'll buy oat cream.
-Carla, sweetie.
-You have to coax it out.
-There isn't I crushed a tomato.
-No, it's fine.
-Okay, sure.
Just a second.
Hi, mum.
Tonight?
Tonight's not so good.
I'm going to the bingo with Carla.
Sure, I'll come round afterwards.
Bye. Love you.
-She's being really weird today.
-Who?
My mum. First this morning,
and now she called and insisted
I come over tonight.
-Why is that weird? It's not.
-It is.
Why tonight and not tomorrow?
I'll just call her and say
No, Emil
Maybe she needs you to be there.
Maybe she needs you.
Give it a thought. We need
to get going. We're already late.
-How are you doing?
-Fine. How about you?
-Fine.
-Sounds good.
-How long have we got?
-Five.
-Five minutes. Got it.
-See you. Okay, bye. Hi!
-Hi.
-Hello there.
We just wanted to say so,
so sorry for the delay.
No problem. The food looks great.
When is it ready?
-Five minutes.
-Okay.
-Let me leave you to it.
-Hanne.
The guests are arriving
Poul, I'm coming.
I'm coming.
No, no, no
What's going on?
Are you okay? What?
I spoke English to her.
-It doesn't matter one bit.
-It does matter.
-Stop it, Emil.
-It's extremely narrow-minded!
-It's not all right.
-Calm down.
I completely disagree.
-Hi.
-I wanted to ask
Is there any nuts in the food?
Like peanuts?
There's no nuts in any
of the food. No nuts.
Okay.
-Hanne, come on!
-Perfect, I'll leave you to it.
I'm coming, Poul.
Why do you keep
speaking English to her?
That's weird. Let's have a look.
Can't you cut them in half?
That's a lot of strawberry.
-Cut it in half. We'll save some.
-It's fine.
-Hanne and Poul have done it again.
-Yes, they're good at it.
Exactly.
They're having a speech now.
Is it good?
I should apologise
for speaking English.
-No, no. Don't.
-But it's not okay.
-No, Victor, it's not okay.
-Relax. Just calm down.
We'll be gone in twenty minutes
and all will be good.
-Just take a deep breath.
-Yes, sure. I will.
Hey. We need to talk about Carla.
It's not working out.
She's dragging us down.
-She makes mistakes.
-She's a bit slow, yes.
-Yes.
-Yes, unfortunately, she's
useless. Carla is useless.
So she needs to go.
She's dragging us down.
I know it's hard because
she's your girlfriend.
But the business comes first.
You need to fire her. You have to.
So
So I'm taking her to Absalon
tonight, and I'll speak to her.
Good. I think that's the
right decision. I really do.
-No, I have to
-Don't, Emil!
Hanne? I was looking for you.
-Listen
-No, no, no.
-I just wanted to apologise
-Breathe
for speaking English
to you before. That wasn't okay.
-What's happening?
-He's having an allergic reaction.
Okay. Is he okay?
Of course he's not!
Can't you see that he's not okay?
The ambulance is on its way.
I wanted to make sure you
received my apology.
-What's going on, Poul?
-It was a mistake.
Are you sure there's
no almonds in the food?
-Yes, completely.
-Poul, have some more water.
Have some more. Drink, drink.
There might be a tiny drop
of almond cream in the panna cotta.
-I asked you!
-You did.
There's been some miscommunication.
It's our responsibility.
-That can't be right.
-Please make room.
Ambulance.
-What happened?
-He's having an allergic reaction.
Poul? Look at me.
We need Poul on the gurney.
It's ready.
I'm getting some adrenaline ready.
Why? Why did you use almond milk?
The oat cream was sold out,
so I got almond milk.
-Why didn't you tell her?
-Because I was stressed out.
Welcome to drag bingo
with The Girlfriends!
Great audience.
This will be amazing!
Let's get started!
Where I come from,
we say "ba shí ba".
You all look confused.
That's 88 in Chinese.
Athena, you're from Hillerød, right?
Yes. Actually, I'm an ethnic dancer.
Has anyone nearly got a full card?
-The number of
-Hi, sweetie.
new digital ID's
I've got this week. Twenty-seven.
-Twentyseven.
-Hi. Where have you been?
Where did you go?
I got us cards and everything.
Right.
-Malene threw me out of the flat.
-What?
Why?
I forgot to shut a window
in the living room this morning.
There was a break-in,
and all of Malene's stuff is gone.
-No!
-Yes.
-Oh my God! Okay
-Now she wants me out by tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?
-Yes.
That's not fair.
-Can't you just apologise to her?
-She told me to get out of her life.
-Did she?
-Forty-three years old.
Forty-three.
That's nasty. How about
How about Viola? She had a flat.
Her boyfriend just moved in, so no.
-We need some more numbers.
-Okay.
This is the perfect number of people
in a monogamous relationship.
Six. Six people.
-I have to live on the street!
-Sweetie.
I just have to live on the street.
That's the consequence
when I can't shut a window!
Sweetie, calm down.
Take a deep breath.
It's the position we know
from the Swinger Club.
You're not stupid, sweetie.
You're not stupid.
On the other hand
You won't have to live on
the street, sweetie. You can
stay at my place.
-What?
-You can stay at my place.
-Are you serious?
-Yes, you can't sleep on the street.
Sweetie
I don't know what to do without you.
-Don't be so sad.
-No. It'll be great, sweetie.
You can cook while
I have a nice glass of wine.
-Sixty-three.
-That's me.
That's me. Bingo! Bingo!
Do we have a winner?
You get this little cat.
A waving cat.
This, as you know,
you put in the window,
and it waves goodbye to all STD's.
Goodbye, gonorrhoea. Goodbye,
chlamydia and everything else.
Give her a hand.
I'll bring the prize.
Take a look at this lovebird.
Can you take it? Give her a hand.
Athena-lady, what's the
atmosphere like out there?
Hi.
-Where are you?
-I'm here, darling. Hi.
Hey.
-Are you okay? Really?
-Yes.
Yes, it's all good. I'm just tired.
Today's been a really long day.
We were cooking for
The Ghanian Friendship Association.
-The what?
-Ghanian Friendship Association.
-Okay.
-We made a dessert.
Viktor made a great panna cotta.
Made with almond cream,
and someone was allergic.
This guy, Poul, came in
and his face was swollen.
He couldn't see straight.
He looked like a frog.
I've never seen anything like it.
What was that?
-What?
-Didn't you hear it?
No. Tell me about the frog. Come on.
His face was just really swollen.
It was actually quite frightening.
I felt really bad for him.
-What is that?
-It's nothing. Stay here. Stay.
-Mum, if it's mice
-It's not mice.
Mum, if it's mice, I need to check.
It's not mice, sweetie.
-Hi, Emil.
-Hi, Viktor.
What's up?
It was
That thing I wanted to tell you.
-Yes?
-Or we wanted to tell you.
Right. Over to you, Viktor.
I'm in a relationship
with your mum.
Yes.
We're in a relationship.
-A bit of a strange situation.
-Very.
-You two are in a relationship?
-Yes.
And we know it's kind of
a strange situation.
Yes. Very strange situation.
-Okay.
-Yes.
-So how do you feel about
-How do you feel?
-Can you
-Can you
-Put up with it?
-Handle it?
-Can you handle it?
-What do you think?
Really?
We're curious to know
if you can handle it.
-Can you handle it?
-Can you?
-It's important to know
-Extremely. It's crucial.
-Shit, he can't handle it.
-I can.
-Can you handle it?
-Yes.
-You can?
-Of course I can. It's fantastic.
My best friend and my mum.
It's beautiful.
-Sweetie.
-I thought I was going to die.
-Mum, relax
-We've been so nervous.
You should have just told me.
This is something to celebrate.
When I hear that, I say the word
Champers.
-I'll get a bottle.
-What's up?
We're not done
You're so wonderful, Helle.
He's a scoundrel.
-Yes, he is.
-Champers.
-Emil. I'm so happy.
-Let's get this party started.
-Viktor! I can't reach the bottle!
-I'll help your mum.
Sure.
I'm coming, Helle!
-It looks great.
-Prosecco, Bollinger? Ouch
-Sweetie
-Hands off. Give me the glasses.
Ouch! No, don't.
-It went fine.
-It did.
I'll have a look in the cellar.
-Emil? I'll look upstairs.
-Sweetie?
-Emil?
-Sweetie?
-What are you doing?
-Emil?
Aren't you coming?
We have a glass of Prosecco for you.
Sweetie?
Come on.
-Champers!
-Sounds great!
I'll be right there.
Come out!
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