Cavendish (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

1 She's the cleverest student But furthest from prudent And deviates often from plans But don't call her Annie Or Fannie or Nanny Her name, now as always Is Anne Anne of Green Gables Anne of Green Gables Anne, Anne, Anne Anne of Green Gables Oh What the hell - are you doing, man? - I don't want to listen to the Anne of Green Gables musical anymore, OK? Why not? It's a good musical! That's top notch songs! Oh, boy You know, we got to get in the vibe.
- We're going to her hometown.
- We're not going to her hometown.
We're going to our hometown.
We're not tourists.
Well, we're essentially tourists at this point.
Hey, how sick do you think Dad will be? Do you think we'll be able to talk to him or do you think - he'll be like a husk? - I guarantee you Dad is fine.
- He's probably just doing it for attention.
- Oh, don't say that.
- Dad's OK.
He's a good guy.
- Dad is a good? - He's OK.
- He's not OK! Dad is not a good guy.
He abandoned us - when we were kids, Mark.
- Come on Like, when I was a kid.
You were like twenty.
I was not like twenty.
- How old were you? - I was eight! What do you think our age difference is? Honestly, I've never known.
And you are blowing my mind right now.
It's only four years - between us? - Yes! Cause in my memory, back then, you were already balding.
- I was not balding at eight! - You were a balding boy.
No, I wasn't! I've always had a high forehead.
I wasn't bald! Man, I swear to you.
There was a period of my life when I thought you were so much older than me I didn't think I had a brother.
I thought you were Dad's friend.
- Oh, come on.
Come on! - I'm serious! I'm serious! - You're not serious.
- There was a kid at daycare who asked if I had any siblings and I was like: It's just me, my mom, my dad and my dad's friend Andy, who sleeps in the same room as me for some reason.
- Seems self-conscious about his thinning hair.
- Alright.
Just, please Shut up.
Just We're driving and we're not talking.
- We're done, OK? - Alright.
- Then we're gonna listen to - No! No! - Anne Anne - Mark! Anne of Green Gables Bridge, bridge, bridge.
Where the gables are green and the hills are pristine - And the waters are - Shut up! Turn it off, Mark! I'm gonna drive this car off the cliff! I swear! And here we are.
Yeah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Wow! Look at this place! Oh! I forgot about the UFO! - I didn't.
- Oh! - My gosh! Is that little Mark? - Hi! Yes.
Sorry, who are you? I'm Ruth! I'm your father's - Well, I guess you'd say partner.
- Dad's got a partner.
- Cool.
- I remember you from when you were a little boy.
You haven't changed a bit! - Thank you, Ruth.
- And who's your friend? Hi, Ruth.
It's Andy.
- Andrew.
- He's slightly less memorable.
I used I lived here for eight years.
We used to come into your hardware store.
Were you sort of balding back then too? - That's him.
Yeah.
- No.
No.
I wasn't.
- I was eight.
That's not a thing.
- That's who you're thinking of.
Let me help you with your things.
- Oh, sure! - You don't have to.
Or OK.
- I like this place already.
- Um.
It's great.
- Here it is! - Wow! I'm not sure how much of this stuff you will remember.
Oh, man! Look at all this cool crap! Wow! Aww Sarcophagus.
Andy, we've got a sarcophagus.
Wow, Andy, check this stuff out, man! We've got a stuffed baby deer.
That's horrifying.
Oh, we got a fetus in a jar, Andy! - Please don't be real.
- Your father dealt with a lot - of shady people over the years.
- Yeah.
And we used to help him.
He used to call me "the bait".
Oh, you're the bait! Well, now, I remember you! - Yeah, I remember when you were the bait.
- So, where is Dad? Out back yelling at a school group or something? He's actually in bed now.
He's been spending - a lot of time there.
- Oh, really? Is he like a - Is he like a husk? - No, no quite.
No.
The doctor says that he'll be fine.
He just has to take it easy.
But of course, that doesn't come naturally to him, as you know.
- Ha! Ha! Ha! - We don't.
We don't know him.
- Well, you'll see him tonight at dinner.
- Cool, cool.
I know what's new.
You probably haven't seen - the wrestling bear.
- My goodness! Andy, come on! Let's go and take a look at that guy! - What a big boy! - Hello.
- Woah, woah, woah! - Oh! My gosh! Oh, well.
OK.
This is my niece Bryn.
She helps us out at the museum.
Hey, Bryn.
You kind of scared us there for a second.
- Yeah.
- Oh! Maybe Bryn could show you around town tomorrow when the stores are open again.
Yeah.
Sure, that sounds good.
Why are the stores - closed today, by the way? - It's Beast Day.
- OK.
Cool.
- Yeah - Beast Day.
- What is Beast Day? Oh, well Once a year, a beast emerges from the forest and searches for someone to consume, so everybody closes their stores and stays at home just to wait things out.
I'm gonna take you to your room.
- Uh, actually.
- Stop you right there.
Yeah.
Could you maybe repeat what you just said? Yeah.
Rewind that and sort of run it back for us.
Oh! Every small town - has its superstitions.
- Oh, so it's a superstition.
Maybe that's the wrong word.
What do you call something that everyone believes in because it's real? - A fact.
- A fact! That's it, that's what we have.
And as a matter of fact, - Bryn did a drawing of the beast.
- Oh, it's just a quick sketch based off the detailed account of the town's residents.
OK! Yeah, that is very detailed, Bryn.
Like anatomically detailed.
A lot going on south of the border on the old beast.
Yeah.
OK, I'll give that back to you there.
- I can sketch you sometime if you want.
- I'm gonna say no to that, but thank you so much for offering.
- OK.
So just let me know whenever is good.
- Not We don't want to.
I think we're gonna go check out our old room now, - if that's cool.
- Yes! Yes.
Well, it's exactly how you left it.
Oh, wow! This place looks exactly the same! Look, all my trophies and medals and all your shelf space where trophies and medals theoretically could've gone.
Oh, Big Bear! Remember Big Bear, Andy? - Yeah.
- Man, I can't believe Dad held on to all of our stuff.
- I hope he's OK.
- Dad is fine.
- Probably in bed watching TV.
- Oh, you cynic.
- Ah! Look at that.
- Who's that? It's Molly Field.
It's this girl I used to have a crush on.
Oh! Like, when you were the same age as her or? - Yes.
- OK.
Yeah, no, just checking.
Oh, hey, look at that! You did win some stuff.
What is that, a sixth place ribbon? And birthday boy.
Birthday boy! - Someone rewarded you for having a birthday.
- Yeah.
- Buddy, it is good to be home! - Yeah.
OK! I've set out the scraps of meat and the milk as an offering to the beast, so I think we're all set.
Rollie should be down any minute.
Oh! Here he comes! Dad? You OK, Dad? You need help or something? Are you alright? You OK, Dad? Oh! No! Surprise! - Are you kidding me? - Oh My gosh! - Look at them! That was a prank? Well, I had to make some kind of an entrance, didn't I? Tada! That was a hell of a prank, Dad! You are bad! Come here, Daddy! Mark! Look at you, little guy.
You've grown! - Well, I'm thirty now.
- You're 30 years old? - Yeah.
- Good boy! Andy! - How's the stick? - What stick? The one up your ass.
- Oh! - My goodness, Rollie! You walked into that one, pal.
- Oh, it's great to be home! - I suppose we should get started.
Bryn, sweetie, would you like to say the beast prayer? The beast prayer? - Oh.
OK.
- Great.
Whenever you're ready.
Dear Lord, please keep us safe from the beast this night.
The awful beast, with its face of wolf, its body of wolf, and horrifying fangs not unlike those of a wolf.
Many would be tempted to believe it is a wolf.
However, we know it is the beast, bigger than a wolf, probably.
We're pretty sure it has more limbs.
So please keep us safe, O Lord.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Cool prayer, Bryn.
Thanks.
Did we have Beast Day when I was a kid, Dad? - I don't really remember that.
- Well, our family didn't really celebrate it that much.
Ruth's more into that kind of things.
I figure if there is a beast, we should cover out basis.
But also, I think it's a nice excuse to spend time with family.
Oh, please start.
- Enjoy the ham.
- So, Dad How are you feeling? You look a lot livelier that I expected.
Oh, well, sorry to disappoint you, Andy.
Actually, I have had a couple of little heart attacks.
But I'm not quite on my death bed, if that's what you were expecting.
Cheers! Well, you kind of led us to believe that.
- That's why we're here.
- Oh! Well, it's funny.
I thought you were here cause you wanted to spend some quality time with your dad! That's funny, Dad.
And it's funny what you said also, Andy.
This meal is so good, Ruth.
Yeah, the ham and whatnot.
Terrific.
I'm sorry.
Are you accusing us of not wanting to spend time with you? Because last time I checked you abandoned us when we were kids.
Ah Here we go! What did I say? Let's get the facts right, Andy.
I did not abandon you.
Your mother took you to Toronto.
All I did was pretend you were dead and ignore you for 26 years.
That's worse! That is so much worse! Maybe we'll just agree to disagree and uh concentrate on this delicious ham.
- What do you actually want me to say, Andrew? - I don't know! Uh, how about "I'm sorry" and then let's go from there? Alright! Fair enough! I'm sorry.
I am sorry that you've got such a massive stick up your ass.
That's great.
Good ham.
Great, great ham.
I have no idea why I came back here.
- Well, why don't you leave? - You know what? I'm going to.
I'm gonna leave! I am going to leave tomorrow and I'm gone.
Alright, then! Right.
That's fine by me! I can go back to pretending you're dead, - can I? - Dad, don't Alright, well.
Um I'll put your dinner in the fridge for later! You know, I think we're gonna look back on this as a productive conversation.
- Yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
- It really is great ham.
It is good ham.
Thank you, Bryn, for saying that.
I was waiting for someone to corroborate.
You want to talk about it? - No.
- OK.
- Oh! Oh, I had a nightmare.
- What? Boys! Your father is missing! - Was it the? - Yes.
It was the beast.
Or possibly something else, but I'm pretty sure it was the beast.
What do you think, constable Gibbs? It's kind of hard to tell.
There's no sign of forced entry, no body and no hard evidence linking this to the beast.
Thank you! He probably just went for a walk and booked himself into a motel or something.
He wasn't going for a walk! He was attacked in the yard! - We found his robe.
- So? So, there's blood on it.
See? Blood.
Blood.
Constable Gibbs - Blood on the robe.
You see that? - Hmm.
This is interesting.
Come on! If he was attacked by a beast, don't you think there'd be more blood? And wouldn't it be torn a bit? - Yeah, that's a good point.
- Or Countertheory.
The beast knows how to undress people.
- That is interesting.
- Bryn! Did you see anything like that in your dream, Mark? To be honest, the details of my dream are pretty hazy, - so I'm not sure.
- Woah.
You had the beast dream? - I guess I did, yeah.
- The beast dream? - Oh, this changes everything.
- No! It doesn't change a thing.
I mean, Mark heard a bunch of stuff about a beast yesterday, then he had a dream.
That's how dreams work.
- Shut your mouth.
- What did the beast look like - in your dream? - Well, unfortunately, the whole dream was from the beast's P.
O.
V, - so I never got to look at him.
- Damn it! Damn it! It would have been nice if the beast had walked passed a mirror or something.
- I was thinking the same thing.
- That would've been good.
Can we please stop talking about Mark's dream and find Dad? You know, that's a good call.
It's time to get down to business.
Can I have your attention please? I'd like to welcome our mayor, Helen Breeley.
Hello, citizens of Cavendish! How are the best damn people in the world? Wouh! - Doing very well, thank you.
- Alright, good stuff.
Good to hear.
Unfortunately, a time many of us have feared since childhood is upon us.
The beast has returned to our fair town and taken one of our own.
Last night, Rollie Tennesen disappeared.
One of his sons saw it happen in a dream.
Yeah.
Beast dream.
Brutal.
Now, none of us were alive the last time the beast took a townsperson, but we've all heard the stories.
They are woven into the very fabric of our municipal flag.
The question is: Now that the beast has returned, what should we do? - Yes? - Uh is what it is you don't go to used to say he's a street angel the house devil.
I say all you got to do is give him a wicked you're golden.
I appreciate your honesty, Felix.
Thank you.
Mayor Breeley! I'd like to say something.
- What's that, Molly? - That's Molly Field! - Huh? - From the grade 3 photo.
Oh! You should talk to her.
After this.
- After this.
- You all know me.
- You know how I earn a living.
- Oh, yeah.
- You work here at the dinner.
- That's right.
But you also know how I supplement my income.
- I want to say hunting.
- Hunting! - OK! - As a hunter, I can tell you.
If you want to catch something, you gotta be ready to try really, really hard to catch it.
Really hard.
I've hunted everything there is to hunt in these woods.
Deer, coyote, man I thought was a creature cause of the way that he was moving.
- Sorry again, Felix.
- go on.
So if you really want to catch this beast, you gotta be ready to get out there tonight and strike without hesitation! Yeah? - I got a big old bag of weapons here.
- Holy smoke! - Let's go kill the beast! - Yeah! I can see why you like her, man.
She's nuts! Kill the beast! Kill the beast! Kill the beast! - This is such a stupid idea.
- What are you talking about? The Tennesen boys out in the woods in a posse, looking for Dad, trying to save him - from the clutches of the beast.
- "Clutches of the beast" Dad's just hiding because he wants me to feel guilty - for yelling at him.
- Come on, Andy.
Everyone else is convinced that it's the beast.
Including Molly Field who, by the way, is looking pretty good.
Didn't notice a fella.
- I doubt she even remembers me.
- She remembers you.
Are you kidding me? The way she said "Hey, sorry, we're all out of weapons", but here's a compass and a bag of flashlights"? There were sparks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I can really see like a summer romance springing up between you two.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
I think so.
I see what you're doing.
No.
What am I doing? What are you talking about? I'm not staying the summer.
I'm waiting till we find Dad - and then I am out of here.
- Andy, the greatest gift you can give yourself is to let love into your heart.
- Hmm? You know who said that? - No.
Garfield talking to Odie.
In some pretty unconvincing fan fiction I read.
But that line resonated.
- I liked that line a lot.
- Wait.
I'm tired of - What's wrong? - Where is the rest - of the group? - Oh, where's the group? - Hello? - Hey! Easy, man.
- You don't need to summon the beast.
Let's just - There's no beast! What was that? Oh, I think that might have been the beast.
It wasn't the beast.
It was just - just a wild animal.
- I don't think - that makes it better, Andy.
- Yeah, you're right.
- What do we do? - I think we run.
- What? OK, OK, OK! - We run, you stupid bastard! - Go, go, go! - Stop, stop, stop! - Where are we, man? - I don't know.
Keep going! In here! In here! In here! In here! Here.
OK.
OK.
Let's just stay here for a second.
- You know what I mean.
- I think I figured it out.
The beast and I have a connection.
If I could see it in my dream, then it can probably see me - and now it's coming to close the loop.
- Will you shut up? We just have to keep our voices down and - Aaaah! - What is it? - Should I stab it with my pitchfork? - No, no! It's it's a person.
Dad? Dad, are you OK? - Should I stab him with my pitchfork now? - No, you should not stab him with a pitchfork! - Oh, my goodness.
- He's had some sort of psychotic break.
We have to get him to the hospital.
No, we can't go out there.
There's a beast out there! - There is no beast! - Beast - See? - He is delirious.
Get him up.
You know what? Actually, yeah.
Because if the beast brought him here, then it's probably gonna come back for him.
Alright.
Let's go, Daddy.
How are you feeling, man? - You good? - OK.
What was that? Oh no! It's the beast! It's come to close the loop.
- Let's go, let's go.
- Go, man.
Go, man.
Just go.
Go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
Oh, crap! It's the beast! Oh! God, Andy! - You just stabbed a little kid! - Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, my God! Hey! You OK? Hey, buddy.
Um We should probably get out story straight.
I thought you were the beast.
Jacob! What the hell did you do to my son? - Oh, crap.
She's got a son.
- He came running out of nowhere.
I thought I thought he was the beast.
He's 8 years old! He was scared! Why did you bring an 8-year-old to hunt a beast? - Why would you stab a child? - OK.
I don't want to sound like a jerk here, but you're the one who said we should - strike without hesitation, so - You son of a bitch! Woah! Get off! So, I know that wasn't the ideal reunion between you and Molly, but when she attacked you, - I didn't see a ring.
- Can you just please shut up? Or what? You're gonna wait until I have a kid - and then stab it? - Please, just shut up! Come in, boys! Dr.
Green is just explaining what happened.
Well, due to your father's memory loss, it is going to be difficult to pin down a precise sequence of events, but it does appear that he sleepwalked into the forest, got lost and suffered a nervous breakdown due to his general poor health.
At least, that's what the doctor side of me has to say.
Personally, I think this is a classic case of the beast.
- I knew it! - OK.
Time to see how the stitches are holding up on that child you stabbed.
So you stabbed a child? - Did you? - And not only did Andy stab a kid, it was the son of a woman he used to have a crush on.
Molly? Oh, she's a catch! And I happen to know - she's single.
- Woah! There you go, Andy.
If you can convince her to forget you stabbed her son, she's all yours.
That's great, thank you, Dad.
Thanks.
Oh Yes.
Um, Andy - I'm sorry about last night.
- What? I'm sorry about last night.
I'm glad you're back and I know you were thinking of leaving, but if you did choose to stay, then there's a room for you as long as you want.
- Wow! - Up to you.
Well.
Um OK.
I guess we could stay a couple of extra days, - see where it goes from there.
- Sounds like a yes to me! No, that is a tentative yes.
It is not a full yes.
- A nice full yes.
- Great.
So just let know when you want me to draw you.
- Uh Not gonna do that.
- No, we're we're cool.
- It's gonna be great.
- So, Dad, gotta ask.
- Hmm-mm? - Do you remember seeing the beast at all last night? The only thing I can remember is seeing Andy in the cave and then thinking: "If I stab him now, I can plead insanity".
That was nice for one second.
It was nice.
I just remembered something.
After Andy stabbed Molly's son last night, he told him he wanted - to get their story straight.
- No.
There is.
.
I'm not kidding! He said that to a child.
- A bleeding child! - There's a reason for that.
He's positively evil!