Charlie (1984) s01e01 Episode Script
Rise
1 I too have heard the voice of the Irish For trying to get arms to your fellow citizens so they could defend themselves.
Trying to make it a crime for an Irish man to go to the aid of his fellow countrymen, if that had been the case with me and your father, there would have been no country for Lynch and his cronies to make a Hackball's Cross off today.
You should have been leader years ago, you've ten times the smarts of them, anyone can see that, but sure they knew that.
That's why they did it to you.
And yet you sit in his cabinet, the only one doing any good, nine years.
But in the tenth they burned the topless towers of Troy.
Huh.
There's a reason it's called politics ma, I'm just waiting for the right moment.
Well I hope I live long enough.
You watch that George Colley, I never liked him even when you were at school together, the self satisfied puss on him.
Ah no, I'm satisfied with what I have.
Buy yourself a new hat, you might be needing one.
Getting near.
Heave ho o'clock.
Howya Charlie.
How are you Jacinta.
By my count we've got 58 Dream on.
27 max, still 11, 12 short at least.
6, 9, 21 are for me.
31 to 39 and Lenihan will propose me.
6 is a devious fucker and 9's a delusional fucker, 21's a mendacious reptile and 33 and 4 have got money troubles so will vote for whoever slips them the most.
As for Lenihan, it's like nailing jelly to the wall, 28 max, you're the worst fucking judge of people.
Have I misjudged you then PJ? (Laughs) Tell our friends on the back benches we're under starter's orders, have Doherty and Reynolds meet me later.
At the department? We could always take an ad out in the newspaper while we're at it.
At the Coq, and make them a separate reservation.
Don't want anyone leaping to the right conclusions.
That's why I chose you, why I stuck with you in spite of all that's been said about you, in spite of all the lonely nights when you're off down some God forsaken corner of the country.
That's why I urged you not to give up when you wanted to give up.
Terry I suppose that means you're going to be off working the party? Such is the price of power.
KNOCK ON DOOR I suppose if I'm not to be just any old Minister's mistress, I better make you as mad as I can while I've still got you, hadn't I? I'm telling you Albert, he's the one with the class and the vision to drag this country kicking and screaming into the 20th century, get it taken seriously by the great nations of the world.
He should have gone to the airport.
He'll start tongues wagging.
And be associated with Lynch's capitulation? This government is sick and dying, he's avoiding infection.
Is that what he's doing in there PJ? He's doing the wife of a judge in there.
Albert, Sean.
Boss.
So what's the word from the back benches? Lynch is a goner, it's only a matter of when.
What are Colley's people saying? He's got the numbers.
Does he? It's us back benchers who are going to pay, the party will be decimated come the election.
It'll look like we accept the policies, and therefore the successor.
Then more of the same, strikes, spiralling debt.
We must hasten his departure, politically, Doherty, the economy has got to be the leadership issue.
The north is obviously problematic for you.
The economy, the back pocket, that's what people really care about.
We all signed up to Lynch's manifesto.
So, how are we going to play it? Tell them I'm the man to give them what they want.
But give them what exactly? Mrs Keane is waiting for you in the taxi.
Leadership.
He's definitely thinking of me for justice Mara? Dead cert, in the bag.
May I? Work away.
Aristocracy, does he ever tell you why he called the nag that? Because says Charlie someone's got to sit on the aristocracy and it might as well be him.
Charlie.
Des.
Just for living expenses, Allied Irish said.
All I'm doing Des, just living.
No better man for it.
But they said it's got to stop.
The overdraft extensions, it's over a million.
Living way beyond your means they said.
A house guarantees it.
They say if the debt's not settled in full they'll move to sell.
They wouldn't dare.
At least not when I'm Taoiseach.
They'll take what I give them.
But Charlie, a million's still a million.
Everything's negotiable Des, when you have power.
A boy from Donnycarney, study in contradiction.
PJ! There again, what is politics if not the art of mastering contradiction.
Your own, your party's and the country's.
One down, two to go.
I've decided, it's the north, that's our battleground.
You're kidding? Because Thatcher pats him on the head and tells him to run along Jack Lynch thinks he's playing it right.
But he's out of touch with his people.
And I know my people.
They might not all have strong feelings about the north, but they don't want the Brits to be dictating terms to us, they want their representatives to negotiate with the Brits as equals.
You play the green card and they'll throw all the arms trial shite at you again.
I'm not going to play it.
I'm a minister, I must subscribe to the principle of cabinet loyalty.
Or, appear to.
But if a back bencher were to speak, a back bencher with a conscience, perhaps people would listen Let Ms De Valera know her Republican views won't be suppressed by me if I become Taoiseach.
Well I hope we've got plans to expand the armed forces too.
She openly defied Jack on the north.
They're breaking cover George, they must think he's getting near the numbers.
You must persuade Jack to go soon.
He hasn't got the stomach for the fight, or the authority anymore, and we can't wait till spring, we can't allow them any more time to organise.
Duck, please.
I've the whole Cabinet on my side Desmond, apart from the Minister for Health himself.
He can run around the country drumming up support in the Cumanns, eating his chicken and chips for all he's worth.
Chicken and chips No, not for me, the duck agus na bruiti maith se do thoil e.
Yes, sir.
But power resides in the Cabinet.
I think I can depend on most of the junior ministers too, Ray? Nothing, tea, black.
Certainly sir.
The rest of the party will follow our example.
I'll win it by an Irish mile, which may I remind you is a full quarter of a mile longer than your English mile.
We can't allow the smallest chance.
We know from past experience he has no respect for democracy, or the rule of law.
He's a gurrier Desmond, plain and simple.
Desmond, George, Ray.
You know Sean Doherty, one of our back benchers.
What's the news from Leitrim Doherty? Wouldn't know Mr Colley, being from Roscommon.
Gabh mo leithsceal, some of our ministries keep us very busy.
You must find all of these U-turns on the economy as tiresome as the rest of us, Colley? I think you'll find the government, of which you are a member, has been consistent in its economic policy.
A foolish consistency is the hob goblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers and divines.
Two words Charlie.
I'm afraid gentlemen, the duck is off.
Colley above even telling you to F off, hard to credit you went to the same school.
Same school perhaps, but he was never in my class.
How many PJ? Still only 30 tops.
Still no big guns.
Hang on, there's McCreevy.
You said big guns not loose cannons.
Your former colleagues got any news for us? Everyone who was at O'Malley's place has a black dot next to their number.
Well? McCreevy's good for a vote, but I had to promise him finance for the fact.
McCreevy in finance! Jesus.
Look at them, had it all handed to them on a silver plate, think they own the fucking world, yet they've never been born.
They're the fuckers that have been holding this place back.
DUCK QUACK GUNSHOTS (Clapping) Still playing the country squire Chas? Patrick.
Well, as the old man used to say, someone's got to live in the big house, so best make sure he's a friend.
And, seeing as your father was such a good friend to me, I thought I'd give you first shout on the deal.
A deal, is that what you're calling it? Every JFK needs his Camelot.
Tell me straight CJ, how much are we talking about here? I'll leave the details to Des.
I got AIB down to 7.
7k? 700k.
I might be the proud possessor of a couple of banks, but I'd hate to think that I was the only one in on such a good deal, can you get someone else to stake you half? There are many others only too glad to help.
Of course we'll have to construct some sort of notional paper deal between Gallagher Group and one of Mr Haughey's holding companies to make it all, you know, an option to purchase some of the land here maybe.
An expensive fucking option.
That's me Patrick, but better than the alternative.
Shot him right through the Sallynoggin, sir.
Take it inside with the others and have them sent over to my Cabinet colleagues Mr Colley and Mr O'Malley.
There was something you might be able to help me out on, the planning permit on my Stephen's Green sites.
You know I can't be seen to offer favours in return for my friend's disinterested generosity.
But all those West Brit conservationists whining on about historic buildings are standing in the way of my building, and you want a modern city Chas, a gaff in keeping with your vision for the country.
KNOCK ON DOOR 7's here.
Six All-Ireland medals for the county and Lynch loses two by-elections there, if he can't deliver Cork what hope has he of delivering the rest of the country? The party will be destroyed.
We're screwed Charlie, I'm screwed.
My father had the seat before me and his before him.
The grass-roots are behind you, but Lynch wants that auld maid Colley to take over.
I thought you were with the pricks.
No! No, no, I'm not with the, the pricks, no.
I've always thought you were the man, the one with the Vision thing.
Oh I have vision, 20-20 vision.
And you were seen leaving Des O'Malley's house, he's running Colley's campaign.
I don't know who told you Charlie, I'm with you.
I swear.
What do I have to do? Stay with them.
Let me know who's with them and what they're offering them.
That's how you can prove yourself.
KNOCK ON DOOR 13's on the line.
Speaking.
I'm well, how are you? I heard the business was in trouble, it's a difficult situation, hadn't realised vandalism was such a problem west of the Shannon, and of course there's no one to sue, if you're declared bankrupt you'd have to give up your Dail seat.
I would be personally very sad to see you leave, I think you're ministerial material.
Perhaps it mightn't have to come to that.
I have recently come into some funds, I could arrange a bridging loan.
Pearse believed that Ireland's history makes her spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and politically one indissoluble nation.
And the history of the people of every part of this island is one of unfulfilled aspirations, exploitation, disappointments and setbacks.
Pearse wanted a nation in which that long and troubled story could be brought to an end, and in which all the divergent strands could be pulled together in the achievement of greatness.
APPLAUSE How are you? Glad you could make it Geraldine.
Is this you declaring yourself as a candidate for the leadership? Mr Lynch is still Taoiseach and leader of Fianna Fail I believe.
But it is his intention to step down next year.
If he lasts that long, but then you seem to know more than I do.
But your speech? We're here to celebrate our national hero Padraig Pearse, not me.
But with Mr Lynch in America, you making a statement about Irish unity, it's code, surely, the green card? I'll make you a promise Geraldine, if ever I do become Taoiseach, you can have the first interview.
So you do intend to be Taoiseach? Well, she's certainly improved the general aesthetic of the press lobby by about 300 percent.
Bird or no bird, she's still a political correspondent, Charlie, I wouldn't underestimate her.
I had her eating out of my hand PJ.
The press are still at that evolutionary stage between wolf and domesticated dog, they'll eat out of your hand so long as they like what you're feeding them, but when they tire of it they'll bite the hand off you.
I'll bring her to heel.
You've got to train them.
Give them enough so they don't starve and turn on you, but not so much that they'll ever know you, or what you're really thinking.
No chance of that.
You shouldn't have offered her first interview.
The older pol corps will see it as her stepping out of line.
Fuck sake.
How can anything ever get done in this place if everyone stands dutifully in line? It's obvious to me that the time has come when someone with a new approach and fresh thinking should take over the leadership of the government.
A leader They've only given us two days to the ballot and you're at the airport, Reynolds? Well, you will be taking a political holiday for the rest of your fucking career if you get on that plane.
PHONE RINGS Yes? You know you shouldn't call me here.
Yes, Terry, we're on track.
Yeah, well I look forward to that particular meal.
No bother fella, I can sort that drink driving charge for you, we just need to know Okay, okay I'll see.
What is the boss up to? He had to take a call, which way 49? What does he see in her? She's practically a Brit.
Didn't you know, Doherty? Us Northside boys can't resist a posh bird.
It's our only failing.
Leave the man to his contradictions, he's our man.
When the King's Mistress is happy, the King is happy.
They all want to talk to you.
So what have you lot been talking to them about? Tell them I'm winning this and they're either with me or against me.
We need something to go back to them with? Well ask them to imagine their balls sitting on the Christmas dinner plate alongside the turkey, ham and fucking brussels sprouts and tell them that's their own future they're looking at if they don't vote for me.
And the women? Ring every Cumann leader in the country, have them remind their TDs who it is their grass roots want.
And don't sound desperate.
Listen fella, we've just got the numbers from PJ and we're winning this.
So you're either with us or you're in the wilderness for the next ten years.
We still need a heavyweight to propose you.
Colley's got the whole Cabinet apart from yourself.
500,000? I told you, I talked Allied Irish down from 1.
2 million to 700.
That's Gallagher's contribution along with some other interested parties, keep them quiet for the time being.
And the rest? If you win when you win, there are several new business acquaintances who say they'll be happy to help you out then.
In the meantime, I've set you up a private account with us.
It's a new system I've been working on.
Technically offshore, in Cayman, but available here through a system of back-to-back loans.
It's all anonymous, coded, only I know who or what they stand for.
Des, do you think that before he crowned himself Emperor, Napoleon had to stand around listening to his accountant talk shite? That's why I hire you, to take care of my financial affairs.
Yes Charlie.
Sorry Charlie.
How are the nerves? I do not have nerves PJ, because you have the numbers.
We still need a name to propose you.
My Ireland will give opportunity to new names, those who get there on merit not just because of where they went to school, who their father was.
By the way, your mother had this sent into the office, your father's war medal.
Here he is, the man who would be king.
The man who will be king, Brian.
Don't get too comfortable on that fence, I don't want to have to push you off it myself.
You'll have to push someone soon, without a senior party member to nominate you, there won't even be a vote.
Well, like I said, I'm happy to serve under either of you.
I didn't ask you Brian.
McSharry? I thought it would look better if your Number Two at Finance was proposing me, it sends out a clear signal.
You shouldn't have left him off your Cabinet list.
How Well George, may the best man win If he hasn't already.
SOUNDS OF PARTYING FLOORBOARD CREAKS PJ? They've all gone home or gone to the bar.
Terry, how did you I told the guards if they didn't let me in I'd have every last one of them fired.
Now's your chance to do all those things you always wanted to do.
Now you can show them how brilliant you really are.
Hit the ground running so fast you burn it up.
But first, we must inaugurate your new office.
Healing Charlie, that's what the party needs now.
There's a lot of anger out there, talk of spying and bribes and undue pressure.
I can't be held responsible for my opponent's actions Brian.
You know Brian, why it's me here and not you? Because you want to be liked, and you are liked.
But to achieve that you've had to accept other people's estimation of yourself, to play along with it, even though you're far brighter than that.
But I don't accept other's estimation of myself.
So the likes of Colley and his cronies in the party and Fitzgerald and the blue shirts don't like me, so what? I'm not going to stay in the box they put me in, and I won't stand for this country to be kept in the hole the likes of them have buried it in these past 50 years.
I hope you know you always had my vote? Knew you'd get it one day, my oldest political mucker, whatever role you think fitting.
I'm happy to serve.
KNOCK ON DOOR So this is it? Not quite the Oval Office though, is it? Not yet.
Any thoughts on Justice? That's another thing, how can we ever hope to attract foreign investment with our phones still in the dark ages.
The Pabex, that's the boyo you need, state-of-the-art.
We had them in special branch.
Your mother's on the way up.
Will I have them order it so, the Pabex? What are you doing in this office? You might have fixed the party leadership, but you have not been elected Taoiseach yet.
Are you threatening to vote against your own party colleague? Where's Jack gone? He resigned, didn't you hear? Well, are you? I'll give you the same support you gave Jack.
If you want us and our supporters to vote for you as Taoiseach, we want seats in the Cabinet, a veto on your appointments in Justice and Defence, and George as your Tanaiste.
Are you trying to blackmail me? Are you trying to hold your own party to ransom? How dare you undermine the democratic process.
Mrs Haughey, it's been a long time.
You look well.
I see you bought the hat.
Mrs H, Taoiseach.
I'll walk you down ma, PJ will make sure you have pride of place in the gallery with Maureen and the kids.
And get word to the whip PJ, I will sit in the front bench on my own, no-one will speak for me, except me.
Yes sir.
I call on Dr.
Fitzgerald, leader of the opposition.
I'm conscious of speaking for a large part of the Irish people, including people within Deputy Haughey's own Party, Deputy Haughey presents himself here, seeking to be invested in office, but he comes with a flawed pedigree.
The Labour Leader, Mr Frank Cluskey.
A total lack of scruples, a total lack of principle and a total lack of either personal or business integrity.
Dr.
Noel Browne, Independent.
I'm afraid of Deputy Haughey.
He has done everything to get power and I think he will do anything to hold power.
The question has been put and is carried by 82 votes to 62, I declare Charles J.
Haughey, Taoiseach.
Flawed pedigree? It's what you have that counts, not what people say you are.
And I have power now.
He went to a good school.
Many's a bastard went to a good school.
Come up to Abbeville, this night of all nights.
You know I wouldn't feel comfortable there, Cathal.
And you'll want to be with Maureen and the family.
Take me home.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC AND CHATTER It's all about the psyche, Brits want their kings and queens and the Yanks their president, and we want our Chieftan.
When the chief is fat and happy, his people are happy.
Have you seen him PJ? He's in his study.
Jimmy Would you like a drink, Miss? It's the regulations.
I can't take a shit without the Central Bank wanting to fill out forms upon forms of the what, where and when of it.
I could get you a one to one with Charlie if you like, he's very keen to give businessmen their head.
Liberate them from the shackles of regulation.
Where is he anyway? Inside, accepting the good wishes of his supporters.
If you don't play the game you don't play the game.
And there's only one game in this town now.
And if you're interested, I've developed a new system with Guinness Mahon for selected key business influencers, though technically it's in the Cayman Islands so there's no issue with tax, but because it's accessible here, there are no issues with exchange rate controls either.
Sounds like a tax dodge scheme to me Traynor! A tax efficiency system, fully compliant with legal obligations, if you want to play the game.
A Junior Minister? I had to accommodate Mr Colley and Mr O'Malley.
But they're the pricks.
Well some things cannot be helped.
You promised me the Ministry of Justice.
I didn't promise you anything, Doherty.
They threatened to vote against me, it would have split the party right down the middle.
For the sake of the party I couldn't risk it, Junior at Justice or nothing.
He's right, you shouldn't have done a deal with them, you'll never be rid of them.
You mean they'll never be rid of me.
As Sun Tzu says in the good book, you should crush the fuckers dead.
I was not going to let it be taken away from me PJ, not when I was so close.
After all the dirt I had to eat, after all those chicken dinners.
KNOCK ON DOOR Taoiseach, I'd like to introduce a great friend of mine, and a great admirer of yours.
MUSIC AND LAUGHTER BELOW Well after all the kicks from all the pricks, we did it.
So how does it feel? Like I'm still not Well if you think this is anti-climactic, wait until you see the state of the fucking country! Good evening, I wish to talk to you this evening about the state of the nation's affairs and the picture I have to paint is not, unfortunately, a very cheerful one.
The figures which are just now becoming available to us, show one thing very clearly.
As a community we are living way beyond our means.
I don't mean that everyone in the community is living too well, clearly many are not and have barely enough to get by, but taking us altogether, we have been living at a rate which is simply not justified by the amount of goods and services we are producing.
To make up the difference we have been borrowing enormous amounts of money, borrowing at a rate which simply cannot continue.
In our present economic situation it is madness to think that he can keep on looking for more money for less work.
Since I have staked my personal credibility on it, from now on I will be co-ordinating all policy in relation to financial planning from the Department of the Taoiseach.
What about the Minister for Finance? What about him? Mr O'Kennedy, do you have any objection? Someone has to dig us out of the hole the previous minister dropped us into.
Mr Lynch believed in collective Cabinet responsibility.
You were a member of that government.
He didn't believe in it when it came to importing arms to defend the citizens of Northern Ireland.
Speaking of which, from now on I shall also be taking personal responsibility for our Northern Ireland policy.
That's the responsibility of the Minister for Foreign Affairs! Mr Colley, unlike some I do not consider Northern Ireland to be a foreign affair.
I'm sure Mr Lenihan does not consider Northern Ireland to be a foreign affair, do you Mr Lenihan? I, I no.
Do you, Mr Colley? You had a veto on appointments to Justice and Defence, nothing more, please confine yourself to areas which concern you.
Taoiseach, I feel I must point out, as Secretary to the Government, these changes simply won't work.
The Department of the Taoiseach is, in essence, a small department.
Well Mr Nally, the Taoiseach's office is a small department no longer.
And this government is no longer a place for people who simply won't work.
Do I make myself clear? The rules, the budgets, the policies will all have to be rewritten, we have a lot of tough decisions to make.
Now Mr Nally, will you please pass around the list of proposed cuts.
They're just afraid Charlie.
They're Ministers for fuck sake, they're meant to have the courage to take tough decisions.
But the Party, Charlie, if we implement these cuts we'll be slaughtered in an election.
We're on the brink of having to call in the IMF, I will not preside over such a humiliation, if we get our house in order we can present ourselves to the electorate as the party of good governance.
But the electorate know that we're the ones that spent it in the first place.
That was Lynch's government.
Of which you were a member.
An unwilling and marginalised member.
10 percent off all Departments at a time of 15 percent inflation, 14 percent unemployment, all I'm saying Charlie is Brian, I believe I appointed to you Foreign Affairs, I want this country to eat at the top table of the world.
Not only have I had to agree to Colley and O'Malley, but the rest of my ministers are too worried about their own seats to have the spine to make the right decisions.
We need to make their seats dependent on you.
Winning my own majority, that's got to be the priority, then I can sort the country out.
From Foreign Affairs Taoiseach, there's talk of the H Block Prison protest escalating.
If Foreign Affairs want to make themselves useful, tell them to get me a meeting with Thatcher at the Leader's Summit.
He won't respect you Mr Nally unless you stand up to him.
(Radio announcer) The march organisers warned Mr Haughey's government against cuts that would affect their members, saying that the gap between the rich and the poor was widening, and that inflation and unemployment already placed an intolerable burden on those at the lower end of the pay scale.
Further austerity measures would only increase these social disparities.
Charlie! Ladies.
I can't believe it, Donnycarney's own as Taoiseach.
A ham for you all for the Sunday lunch.
To celebrate.
Jesus Charlie, thanks.
Never forgets his own people, never forgets where he comes from.
Sure wasn't he the one to get us the widow's pension in the first place.
Jacinta give the rest of them to the families that need them most.
Will I say who they're from? Let that be, our little secret and take one for your mammy too.
Too good to us Charlie.
Nothing's too good for you ladies, nor should it be.
KNOCK ON DOOR Yes! Taoiseach, the arrangement for the Leader's Summit.
There's the general meet and greet, then the photo.
There's a pecking order, longer serving Premiers in the middle.
You'll be next to Thatcher as the two new boys.
Rumour has it she's a woman, Mr Nally.
It might be an opportunity for a word.
KNOCK ON DOOR Nothing from Foreign Affairs in the private session with Thatcher? FA from FA.
And Geraldine Kennedy from the Tribune's here, you promised her first interview as Taoiseach.
Tell her I am sorry, it was a mistake and that it would only offend the other scribes and Pharisees.
Colley, what the fuck are you doing on my phone line? VOICES ON THE LINE KNOCK ON DOOR PJ, have Doherty do something about this phone console he got me, I don't want to be listening to George Colley telling Mrs Colley how many rashers he'd like for his tea.
And get me this number in Paris.
Yes sir.
Right lads, whose up for an auld EEC summit in gay Paris? PHONE RINGS Votre Excellence? I'll be there around 7, is everything ready? Quatre costume et douzieme de chemise.
Good, I'll see you then.
President d'Estaing? Charvey, my tailors.
Oh, well I thought I'd let you know personally, we've got you a one-on-one with Schmidt.
At last, a proper politician.
Not you, Helmut Schmidt.
What about Thatcher? Her office said that there are no outstanding matters between Her Majesty's government and the Republic of Ireland.
Apart from six counties, it is not solely for her to decide what is and what is not an outstanding matter.
Car's waiting.
Geraldine, I told you Will I tell my readers that you were lying when you made that promise to me, Taoiseach? Five minutes, gentlemen.
I hope that you'll be writing something positive about me, for a change.
That depends.
Can we start with the economy? You've made a much applauded statement regarding our need to tighten our belts, what measures are you proposing? Myself and my Cabinet are considering a range of radical measures.
But what measures exactly? We cannot deal in specifics until they have been agreed collectively by the Cabinet.
And the North? I intend to address the Northern situation.
How? In 1970, you attempted to illegally import arms.
Mr Haughey, so you have nothing to say about the Arms Trial? PJ, get on to Hugh ask him if he's still in charge of that paper of his, because some of his journalists seem to be pursuing their own personal agendas.
Yes Taoiseach.
Sorry Geraldine.
The economic situation I have inherited is far from ideal, Chancellor Schmidt, Helmut.
Yes I've heard, you have a lot of problems with strikes and so with your balance of payments, and so on.
A devil's circle.
The world is changing.
People are frightened.
The State must work with the workers.
Our workers seem intent on destroying the State.
In Germany every year we meet with the unions, we set aside our political differences and discuss what our problems are.
And then we agree what's best for the country and for the people.
And we sign an agreement that binds us all for the next year.
No chance of our headbangers sitting down with us.
Tell me how it works, this Social partnership, we call it.
Welcome back Taoiseach, how did it go? Well Charlie got some new shirts and his tailor gave me a tie, he told him I was his security guard.
And last night we took Helmut Schmidt for a slap up at the Crillon, Jesus the bill came to more than my annual budget for Foreign Affairs.
Nally will go mental when he sees it.
Welcome back Taoiseach.
Mr Nally.
But as Charlie says we've got to look the part if you want to be taken seriously.
Dare I ask, Thatcher? Wouldn't meet with him.
Do you not have any good news for me, PJ? You might want to have a word with your Tanaiste.
You will state your unequivocal loyalty to me and the government, we made a deal.
You got what you wanted, in return I get your loyalty.
Yet I go away for two days and you're making speeches, saying I enjoy no such loyalty.
I made you Tanaiste.
In return for voting for you as Taoiseach, nothing more.
You're a member of my government.
The government.
The press knew the Cabinet had knocked back my proposed cuts.
There were 15 of us around that table.
Are you going to fire me? Most of your Cabinet colleagues, apart from O'Malley, say I should.
But that's what you want.
To be the martyr to your twisted morality.
Why should I give you what you want? In my Cabinet you are more tied to me than I am to you.
What is power if it's not absolute? To be rid of them I need to win my own majority, to do that I need to fix the economy.
But to thwart me they block my every effort, they're willing to let the whole country go down the tube, why? Out of spite, because I'm a gurrier from the wrong side of the tracks.
Those pricks would sooner split the Party, lose their seats, destroy the country than let me run it as I know I can.
That bitch Thatcher won't even talk to us about the North.
That's entirely my boy.
I have to open up the Ard Fheis at the end of the week, I've nothing to give them.
Give them hope.
Give them vision.
How did you win the job in the first place? The North.
That was just a tactic to remove Lynch.
Turn it into a strategy.
As leader they will be only too willing to throw the Arms Trial at me.
Exactly, that's what they're all counting on.
Colley, Fitzgerald and Thatcher, that you'll be too afraid to speak your mind on it.
Go on the attack, call their bluff, you sort out the North you'll win your majority, you'll be free of those pricks forever.
Yes, the North, that would be the achievement.
But Thatcher doesn't have a bluff.
Have you forgotten yourself completely? What is it you're best at, better than even politics? Seducing difficult women.
Whatever it takes Nally.
Tell the Brits we're willing to consider everything to find a solution.
Constitutional change, NATO membership, even Thatcher's precious EEC contributions and CAP reform, just get her to the Summit table.
I've been on to Hume and he agrees, we need to change the dynamic of the argument.
Nationalists talk to us, Unionists talk to London, but London and us hide behind constitutional positions and won't talk to each other, that's why it's always failed.
Why don't you say that? Northern Ireland is a failed political entity.
The grass-roots will love you for it, it will steal a march on Sinn Fein and make Thatcher sit up.
And drag us into civil war! No, if we let it be known in Washington that we're willing to discuss every possible outcome to progress the situation it will give her no alternative.
She is desperate to get into bed with Reagan, she'll have to meet with me, even if only to put me in my place.
And if it backfires? That's why I'm a politician, Nally, and you're a civil servant.
I have got something between my legs.
With all due respect Taoiseach, kindly F Off.
LAUGHTER He I'm sorry, Taoiseach.
No.
I apologise for my associate, Mr Mara, and it is good of you to stay so late, Mr Nally.
You better have something good for my entrance.
I thought the Rocky theme? Or I can't Get Any Satisfaction.
A Nation Once Again? Oh go on? You mean sing it? No, paint it.
When boyhood's fire was in my blood, I read of ancient A nation once again Neither apologetic about our national aims, nor ambivalent in our pursuit of them.
RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE And Ireland long a province been, a nation once again.
A nation once again, And Ireland long a province been, a nation once again.
(Shouting) We want Charlie.
We want Charlie.
One for your mother's collection? Got to be matched by deeds.
It says you're going to meet yer one Thatcher in Downing Street.
Make sure she shows you proper respect, just because we're Irish, you know? I'll show her proper respect, even though she's English.
And call for the British to declare their interest in the eventual unity of Ireland.
Strong, clear, direct, excellent document Nally.
Just here.
Hello boys.
Mrs Keane is here to cover the London summit from the fashion angle.
All ready to do battle with Perfidious Albion? And what a fine example of Irish craftsmanship you present me with, Mr Haughey.
Every time I drain its spout, I'll think of you.
LAUGHTER In our private session I praised her Rhodesian strategy.
Whether this is Irish Blarney or shameless flattery, Mr Haughey, I'm not quite sure, but I do like it when you talk Rhodesian positions.
Slowly I brought her around to the main business, we're both new to this I said, but that is also a chance for us to start afresh, consider all the relationships.
But one in particular.
I got her to agree that we should meet regularly and discuss these relationships bi-laterally, as grown-ups.
She's coming to Dublin in December, if we can make progress, as I am sure that we can, then (Bangs on table) Perfect launch for re-election.
No, no, least I can do.
To Charlie, to Charlie and peace in the North, financial deregulation in our time, and of course, a landslide victory at the next election.
Charlie! (On phone) Just need to bide our time, he's got to call an election before next summer, the whole public sector is about to go out if they don't get 20 percent, and he can't give them that, it's just not in the estimates.
Every time I pick up my phone there are voices in my head.
That book that PJ gave me, the Art Of War, it says the great sovereign sees through a third eye, the eye of spy.
I am the leader of a modern democracy Doherty, not Mao Tse fucking Tung.
Did you never hear tell of something called Watergate? But the system's legit, we had them in Special Branch.
It's just, if the boss needs to talk to somebody pronto, he can override any call that they're on.
Being able to listen in on them is an added bonus.
But if it were known that I could listen into any call in Leinster House without the caller being aware, there's a moral dimension Doherty.
Moral dimension sorted, leave it to the Doc, but if you ever change your mind about I won't.
Or, I could make a few of my own inquiries to save you any further "moral dilemmas".
They're here, sir.
Show them in.
Shall I call the relevant ministers? No, I don't want them messing things up.
What's the plan? To win the next election.
With inflation running over 15 percent Taoiseach, my members have to live.
All any of us are trying to do.
The 20 percent we're demanding is non-negotiable.
Everything is negotiable.
Well then you leave us no alternative but to go out, and it won't just be the teachers or postal workers this time, it will be the whole public sector.
You won't have a country left to run.
Sit down and don't threaten me.
Sit down I said.
Tell me, how have you come to this 20 percent? We're not settling for anything less.
The reason I want to negotiate with you directly is because I'm on your side.
(Chuckles) The side of the worker.
As many in my Cabinet were against doing anything for you, simply to bring about a state of national crisis, to bring me down.
They can't stand that a working class boy from Dublin's Northside is running the country.
They're willing to play with your member's livelihoods to play politics with me.
Now I ask you, why 20 percent? If inflation stays at 15 percent next year, which it is likely to do, you'll be back here looking for more.
What should we be asking? Over two years you should be looking at a 32.
75 percent pay settlement, let's call it 34 percent, in case of variation, though it will depend on my staying in power.
What's the catch? When I am returned I expect you to enter into regular agreements with us for the good of the country.
We are not your enemies.
We are your social partners.
34 percent? I've asked them to keep it under their hats until I've informed the Cabinet.
You haven't discussed it with the Minister for Finance? No.
But Taoiseach this Do you really think it's from the IRA? The name, their call sign.
The provos know I'm key now.
I've reached a stalemate with Thatcher, she won't back down over recognising H-Blockers, the IRA can't back down from going on hunger strikes once they've been called.
But why go to you? Because I'm key to the man who's key.
When will we meet them? Do you think that I, or anyone associated with me, can be seen to meet with these men? Charlie, Charlie stay, just to wake up beside you I'm expected at home.
Just once, Charlie! I'm sorry.
SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND Are you telling the Taoiseach what he can and can't do, Mr Colley? We're nearly bankrupt as it is.
They are estimates, estimates are not facts.
They should be based on them at least.
No estimates change as new facts emerge.
The new data is worse than the old.
You tell the country we must tighten our belts then you spend, spend, spend.
Our GDP to debt ratio is touching 100 percent.
Everything we earn goes to servicing that debt.
Because you lot wouldn't accept the cuts I proposed.
Now we can keep on borrowing at this rate until March, then when I'm re-elected with my own majority then I will revise my estimates.
George, listen, it might be a fix, in the short-term, with the election unknown.
So you're all right with him trying to buy the election by rigging the estimates.
We have to think of the Party.
What will you say after? That you were just obeying orders? It's you who's got the problem with the democratic will of the Party, Colley.
Did you talk to them, the Provos? Communication has been established.
So why Mrs Keane? So that you know they know where you ought to be and where you really are, he said.
What's the message? Hunger strikes are on, ten of them, October.
The leadership support the strikes but privately believe it's doomed as a strategy.
They think Thatcher's not the type to give in.
They want you to persuade her to give way on some of the demands so that everyone can find a way out.
We'll fight on my image and mine alone, I'll win this election for myself, I will not be beholden to anyone else.
Get that one to Mount Street.
Yes Mr Mara, sir.
But there's a Hunger Strike march today.
The best thing you can do for those boys in the H-Blocks is to help me win this next election.
Yes sir, Taoiseach.
It's a site, I'm hoping to buy it.
Must be paying you well.
With some mates, if we can get the price down.
O'Hara is the estate agent.
I could have a word with Bill.
Just get that picture to Party Headquarters and keep out of trouble.
They say the Council might consider rezoning it too.
Mount Street, you cheeky bollox.
Yes boss.
Cabinet confidentiality is very important, Sean.
It is Taoiseach.
Crucial to the running of a democratic government.
As Junior Minister for Justice, I shall make it part of my personal responsibility to find the source of these leaks, and fix it.
(Radio) Accompanied by her Foreign Minister and Northern Ireland Secretary of State, Mrs Thatcher's visit to Dublin Castle looks set to be the most important Anglo Irish Summit since the foundation of the State.
What's this PJ? Timotei, it says.
What are we trying to do here? We're trying to show her that we have some class, that we have some pride, that we're a real fucking country, that can make its own shampoo.
She's only here for the day, what does she need shampoo for anyway.
She's hardly going to break off in the middle of the Summit and wash her fucking hair.
You know, this is not just me against Thatcher, this is me against her, her Cabinet, her civil service, the press, most of my own Cabinet and civil service, they're all just waiting, so everything has got to be right.
But now Mr Haughey, she says, I see that you're a man that I can do business with.
Let us do business then Margaret, says he.
Let us explore the totality of relations.
Great phrase, Nally.
Thank you.
You know that Lord Carrington told me that they have been trying to persuade her for months to tackle the North together with us, and doesn't she see them, double them and then go and tell you privately that she has nothing against unity.
So long as they're not seen to promote it.
Historic in any man's language, how do you do it? I have a way with difficult women.
Gets enough practice.
(They all laugh) Sorry Geraldine, private conversation.
Historic you said at the press conference, is that your reading? Or was it just a card to swing the election.
Will you lot never give me just a jot of credit? 60 years ago my mother and father fought for this, they had to leave their home in Derry because of this, had to bring us up in poverty because of this.
Everything I have done I have done to make this good, so that no one has to live that life again, so that we can hold our heads up high amongst the nations of the world.
And now finally I get the British government to treat me, and us, as equals, to accept that we are part of the solution and not the problem.
And even that you begrudge me.
No, that's why I dropped in.
I wanted to congratulate you.
And to ask whether I can say that you claim an historic breakthrough? Yes, say that, why not something positive for a change.
But no more specific than that.
The totality of our relations are still fragile.
Now for once will you leave off the third degree and join us in a drink? I'm sorry Taoiseach, I'm afraid I have to file my story.
So are you going to tell us what Maggie whispered to you on the way out? She said, you're the first leader I've met, Mr Haughey, who's got a bigger cock than mine.
LAUGHTER From now on, I want good news stories only.
I have an election to win.
Good man Charlie.
Slainte.
My information, Margaret, is that the prisoners did not surrender and that there was a deal and that you've reneged.
Okay, you do not talk to terrorists, you do not make deals with them, but the document, this mountain climber, your go-between brought them, yes, it's open to interpretation, but they've had plenty of time to study semantics in that prison.
You won't get anywhere rubbing their noses in it.
Margaret, remember what I said in Dublin? I am with you all the way on this.
You know we're on the same side.
I'm sorry once again about those press reports, over excited journalists.
Oh, it won't happen again.
I can assure you of that.
Nally? (Laughter on phone) Nally? Nally, get in here and get this fucker O'Malley out of my head will you.
(Voice on phone:) Amadan, that's what the Provos called him.
turfed out of office.
I'll let our friends in the press A helpful discussion with Mrs Thatcher, Taoiseach? A contradiction in terms, but I've talked her down.
A memo to all ministers, there must be no more loose talk about Irish unity.
No, not a memo.
An edict.
I categorically stand by my comments.
The totality of relations opens the way for Irish unity, within a decade, in any man's language.
Are you suggesting that Mrs Thatcher has privately agreed to all of this? (Voice of Reverend Ian Paisley on radio:) The Unionist people of Ulster were cutting civilisation out of the bogs and meadows of this country, while Mr Haughey's ancestors were wearing pig skins and living in caves.
Dr Paisley, can I just How did the summit go, Taoiseach? Charlie, Taoiseach, I She made me sit outside the room for ten minutes until she'd see me.
The last person who did that was the headmaster at Joey's in Fairview, I was 11.
And I swore I would never, ever be humiliated like that again, Brian.
But you said good news for the election.
All that hard work, wooing her, cajoling her, flattering her, only to have her talk down to me like I was a child of 11, again.
Who can't keep his pals in order.
Like we're not a real nation at all, just playing at it.
All bilateral meetings are off, the North is about to blow, we've lost our place at the table.
How am I meant to win an election, Brian? If the few ministers who were meant to support me go around undoing my work.
I thought it might turn up the heat on her.
Turn up the heat on her? She's a fucking blowtorch, Brian.
(Margaret Thatcher on radio:) The government will never concede political status to the hunger strikers.
Turn that woman off, would you Jacinta.
It's all about timing Charlie.
I figure tomorrow's the bottom of the barrel and the Last Chance Saloon at the Okay Corral, if you want a majority.
You've got the edge in the polls, but the economy, hunger strikes, we're on a knife edge.
At the Ard Fheis you have the grass-roots, your people.
The people who love you, and the full telly coverage.
Off anywhere special for Valentine's, Jacinta? Anywhere special or had someone special.
Here, go and buy yourself a new dress, show off those lovely legs of yours.
Thanks Charlie.
Don't forget your mother's RTE Guide.
You take great care of her, I hope I can rely on your vote.
Sure who else is there? Are you holding an election? You heard it here first.
Good man, Charlie.
The period which has passed since I first addressed you as Taoiseach and President of Fianna Fail, has in many respects, been one of the most difficult and anxious which That, our country has had to face.
The difficulties which have confronted us have proved more formidable than anyone could possibly have anticipated.
That's as maybe, but you mustn't appear the victim, or the cause of the difficulties, but the hero.
In the midst of a world economic recession, unprecedented in its severity, I have concentrated on bringing the economy safely through.
Our father who art in Abbeville! Practically alone among the countries of Europe, we have succeeded in maintaining economic growth.
We have? Yeah, because I've thrown money at the fucking unions.
No, because you've invested in infrastructure and people.
Through investment in people and infrastructure The security and comforts which our old people have earned, and the bright future which our children so richly deserve.
On Monday I go to President Hillery and ask him to dissolve the Dail.
Good man Charlie.
Music, PJ.
What have you got for me this year? It's now or never? Haha, no it's a cracker.
You'll have them singing in the aisles.
MUSIC From southern glens to Aston Shores, The ancient cry of freedom roars From Northern hills to Leinster's doors, We'll rise and follow Charlie Charlie's song we'll sing as one (TV announcer) Images just coming through from the Stardust Nightclub in North Dublin, fire officers say there have been many casualties, witnesses say the emergency lights failed and that the fire doors were chained shut, others say they were herded into toilets where many have been crushed.
The Dublin Fire Brigade are still KNOCK ON DOOR Fetch our coats Jimmy.
Best I could find.
We must be going Charlie, the Ard Fheis.
Postpone it.
But the election.
They're saying 50 dead, PJ.
50 of my constituents.
Don't want to look like I have no heart.
It's a tragedy, Taoiseach, a desperate tragedy.
But all our plans are for this moment.
The majority is there for the taking, but the window through which you might take it is open only momentarily.
You can't step into the same river twice.
I can.
I will.
We must postpone it.
(Radio announcer:) As the hunger strikes enter their 13th week, Mrs Thatcher continues to rule out any concessions to the prisoners.
Relations with the Irish government have taken a turn for the worst as the various factions involved jockey for position.
Further dialogue seems unlikely unless someone can break the deadlock.
Any chance of a Dublin led compromise agreement is receding fast after the promising start to discussions with Mrs Thatcher's historic visit to Dublin in December.
Neither side seems prepared to offer any quarter (Announcer:) The votes for the Fermanagh and South Tyrone By-election have now been counted.
West, Henry W, Ulster Unionist, 29,046.
Sands, Bobby, Anti H-Block, Armagh, political prisoner, 30,492.
Bobby Sands MP.
Well that's it, it's Provos a go-go.
Sinn Fein are the Republican Party now and they'll be looking at our border constituencies and licking their lips.
It's nearly summer Charlie, there's only a few weeks left for the Dail to run.
We have to call the election, whether we like it or not.
You never know, this hunger strike thing might blow over.
Taoiseach, does this change the political landscape? Excuse me, Geraldine.
Has your green card been trumped? Mr Haughey, does this blow your chances of an overall majority? Are you ready to call the election, Mr Haughey? Mr Haughey, are you ready to call the election? Taoiseach, will Fianna Fail stand against the hunger strike?
Trying to make it a crime for an Irish man to go to the aid of his fellow countrymen, if that had been the case with me and your father, there would have been no country for Lynch and his cronies to make a Hackball's Cross off today.
You should have been leader years ago, you've ten times the smarts of them, anyone can see that, but sure they knew that.
That's why they did it to you.
And yet you sit in his cabinet, the only one doing any good, nine years.
But in the tenth they burned the topless towers of Troy.
Huh.
There's a reason it's called politics ma, I'm just waiting for the right moment.
Well I hope I live long enough.
You watch that George Colley, I never liked him even when you were at school together, the self satisfied puss on him.
Ah no, I'm satisfied with what I have.
Buy yourself a new hat, you might be needing one.
Getting near.
Heave ho o'clock.
Howya Charlie.
How are you Jacinta.
By my count we've got 58 Dream on.
27 max, still 11, 12 short at least.
6, 9, 21 are for me.
31 to 39 and Lenihan will propose me.
6 is a devious fucker and 9's a delusional fucker, 21's a mendacious reptile and 33 and 4 have got money troubles so will vote for whoever slips them the most.
As for Lenihan, it's like nailing jelly to the wall, 28 max, you're the worst fucking judge of people.
Have I misjudged you then PJ? (Laughs) Tell our friends on the back benches we're under starter's orders, have Doherty and Reynolds meet me later.
At the department? We could always take an ad out in the newspaper while we're at it.
At the Coq, and make them a separate reservation.
Don't want anyone leaping to the right conclusions.
That's why I chose you, why I stuck with you in spite of all that's been said about you, in spite of all the lonely nights when you're off down some God forsaken corner of the country.
That's why I urged you not to give up when you wanted to give up.
Terry I suppose that means you're going to be off working the party? Such is the price of power.
KNOCK ON DOOR I suppose if I'm not to be just any old Minister's mistress, I better make you as mad as I can while I've still got you, hadn't I? I'm telling you Albert, he's the one with the class and the vision to drag this country kicking and screaming into the 20th century, get it taken seriously by the great nations of the world.
He should have gone to the airport.
He'll start tongues wagging.
And be associated with Lynch's capitulation? This government is sick and dying, he's avoiding infection.
Is that what he's doing in there PJ? He's doing the wife of a judge in there.
Albert, Sean.
Boss.
So what's the word from the back benches? Lynch is a goner, it's only a matter of when.
What are Colley's people saying? He's got the numbers.
Does he? It's us back benchers who are going to pay, the party will be decimated come the election.
It'll look like we accept the policies, and therefore the successor.
Then more of the same, strikes, spiralling debt.
We must hasten his departure, politically, Doherty, the economy has got to be the leadership issue.
The north is obviously problematic for you.
The economy, the back pocket, that's what people really care about.
We all signed up to Lynch's manifesto.
So, how are we going to play it? Tell them I'm the man to give them what they want.
But give them what exactly? Mrs Keane is waiting for you in the taxi.
Leadership.
He's definitely thinking of me for justice Mara? Dead cert, in the bag.
May I? Work away.
Aristocracy, does he ever tell you why he called the nag that? Because says Charlie someone's got to sit on the aristocracy and it might as well be him.
Charlie.
Des.
Just for living expenses, Allied Irish said.
All I'm doing Des, just living.
No better man for it.
But they said it's got to stop.
The overdraft extensions, it's over a million.
Living way beyond your means they said.
A house guarantees it.
They say if the debt's not settled in full they'll move to sell.
They wouldn't dare.
At least not when I'm Taoiseach.
They'll take what I give them.
But Charlie, a million's still a million.
Everything's negotiable Des, when you have power.
A boy from Donnycarney, study in contradiction.
PJ! There again, what is politics if not the art of mastering contradiction.
Your own, your party's and the country's.
One down, two to go.
I've decided, it's the north, that's our battleground.
You're kidding? Because Thatcher pats him on the head and tells him to run along Jack Lynch thinks he's playing it right.
But he's out of touch with his people.
And I know my people.
They might not all have strong feelings about the north, but they don't want the Brits to be dictating terms to us, they want their representatives to negotiate with the Brits as equals.
You play the green card and they'll throw all the arms trial shite at you again.
I'm not going to play it.
I'm a minister, I must subscribe to the principle of cabinet loyalty.
Or, appear to.
But if a back bencher were to speak, a back bencher with a conscience, perhaps people would listen Let Ms De Valera know her Republican views won't be suppressed by me if I become Taoiseach.
Well I hope we've got plans to expand the armed forces too.
She openly defied Jack on the north.
They're breaking cover George, they must think he's getting near the numbers.
You must persuade Jack to go soon.
He hasn't got the stomach for the fight, or the authority anymore, and we can't wait till spring, we can't allow them any more time to organise.
Duck, please.
I've the whole Cabinet on my side Desmond, apart from the Minister for Health himself.
He can run around the country drumming up support in the Cumanns, eating his chicken and chips for all he's worth.
Chicken and chips No, not for me, the duck agus na bruiti maith se do thoil e.
Yes, sir.
But power resides in the Cabinet.
I think I can depend on most of the junior ministers too, Ray? Nothing, tea, black.
Certainly sir.
The rest of the party will follow our example.
I'll win it by an Irish mile, which may I remind you is a full quarter of a mile longer than your English mile.
We can't allow the smallest chance.
We know from past experience he has no respect for democracy, or the rule of law.
He's a gurrier Desmond, plain and simple.
Desmond, George, Ray.
You know Sean Doherty, one of our back benchers.
What's the news from Leitrim Doherty? Wouldn't know Mr Colley, being from Roscommon.
Gabh mo leithsceal, some of our ministries keep us very busy.
You must find all of these U-turns on the economy as tiresome as the rest of us, Colley? I think you'll find the government, of which you are a member, has been consistent in its economic policy.
A foolish consistency is the hob goblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers and divines.
Two words Charlie.
I'm afraid gentlemen, the duck is off.
Colley above even telling you to F off, hard to credit you went to the same school.
Same school perhaps, but he was never in my class.
How many PJ? Still only 30 tops.
Still no big guns.
Hang on, there's McCreevy.
You said big guns not loose cannons.
Your former colleagues got any news for us? Everyone who was at O'Malley's place has a black dot next to their number.
Well? McCreevy's good for a vote, but I had to promise him finance for the fact.
McCreevy in finance! Jesus.
Look at them, had it all handed to them on a silver plate, think they own the fucking world, yet they've never been born.
They're the fuckers that have been holding this place back.
DUCK QUACK GUNSHOTS (Clapping) Still playing the country squire Chas? Patrick.
Well, as the old man used to say, someone's got to live in the big house, so best make sure he's a friend.
And, seeing as your father was such a good friend to me, I thought I'd give you first shout on the deal.
A deal, is that what you're calling it? Every JFK needs his Camelot.
Tell me straight CJ, how much are we talking about here? I'll leave the details to Des.
I got AIB down to 7.
7k? 700k.
I might be the proud possessor of a couple of banks, but I'd hate to think that I was the only one in on such a good deal, can you get someone else to stake you half? There are many others only too glad to help.
Of course we'll have to construct some sort of notional paper deal between Gallagher Group and one of Mr Haughey's holding companies to make it all, you know, an option to purchase some of the land here maybe.
An expensive fucking option.
That's me Patrick, but better than the alternative.
Shot him right through the Sallynoggin, sir.
Take it inside with the others and have them sent over to my Cabinet colleagues Mr Colley and Mr O'Malley.
There was something you might be able to help me out on, the planning permit on my Stephen's Green sites.
You know I can't be seen to offer favours in return for my friend's disinterested generosity.
But all those West Brit conservationists whining on about historic buildings are standing in the way of my building, and you want a modern city Chas, a gaff in keeping with your vision for the country.
KNOCK ON DOOR 7's here.
Six All-Ireland medals for the county and Lynch loses two by-elections there, if he can't deliver Cork what hope has he of delivering the rest of the country? The party will be destroyed.
We're screwed Charlie, I'm screwed.
My father had the seat before me and his before him.
The grass-roots are behind you, but Lynch wants that auld maid Colley to take over.
I thought you were with the pricks.
No! No, no, I'm not with the, the pricks, no.
I've always thought you were the man, the one with the Vision thing.
Oh I have vision, 20-20 vision.
And you were seen leaving Des O'Malley's house, he's running Colley's campaign.
I don't know who told you Charlie, I'm with you.
I swear.
What do I have to do? Stay with them.
Let me know who's with them and what they're offering them.
That's how you can prove yourself.
KNOCK ON DOOR 13's on the line.
Speaking.
I'm well, how are you? I heard the business was in trouble, it's a difficult situation, hadn't realised vandalism was such a problem west of the Shannon, and of course there's no one to sue, if you're declared bankrupt you'd have to give up your Dail seat.
I would be personally very sad to see you leave, I think you're ministerial material.
Perhaps it mightn't have to come to that.
I have recently come into some funds, I could arrange a bridging loan.
Pearse believed that Ireland's history makes her spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and politically one indissoluble nation.
And the history of the people of every part of this island is one of unfulfilled aspirations, exploitation, disappointments and setbacks.
Pearse wanted a nation in which that long and troubled story could be brought to an end, and in which all the divergent strands could be pulled together in the achievement of greatness.
APPLAUSE How are you? Glad you could make it Geraldine.
Is this you declaring yourself as a candidate for the leadership? Mr Lynch is still Taoiseach and leader of Fianna Fail I believe.
But it is his intention to step down next year.
If he lasts that long, but then you seem to know more than I do.
But your speech? We're here to celebrate our national hero Padraig Pearse, not me.
But with Mr Lynch in America, you making a statement about Irish unity, it's code, surely, the green card? I'll make you a promise Geraldine, if ever I do become Taoiseach, you can have the first interview.
So you do intend to be Taoiseach? Well, she's certainly improved the general aesthetic of the press lobby by about 300 percent.
Bird or no bird, she's still a political correspondent, Charlie, I wouldn't underestimate her.
I had her eating out of my hand PJ.
The press are still at that evolutionary stage between wolf and domesticated dog, they'll eat out of your hand so long as they like what you're feeding them, but when they tire of it they'll bite the hand off you.
I'll bring her to heel.
You've got to train them.
Give them enough so they don't starve and turn on you, but not so much that they'll ever know you, or what you're really thinking.
No chance of that.
You shouldn't have offered her first interview.
The older pol corps will see it as her stepping out of line.
Fuck sake.
How can anything ever get done in this place if everyone stands dutifully in line? It's obvious to me that the time has come when someone with a new approach and fresh thinking should take over the leadership of the government.
A leader They've only given us two days to the ballot and you're at the airport, Reynolds? Well, you will be taking a political holiday for the rest of your fucking career if you get on that plane.
PHONE RINGS Yes? You know you shouldn't call me here.
Yes, Terry, we're on track.
Yeah, well I look forward to that particular meal.
No bother fella, I can sort that drink driving charge for you, we just need to know Okay, okay I'll see.
What is the boss up to? He had to take a call, which way 49? What does he see in her? She's practically a Brit.
Didn't you know, Doherty? Us Northside boys can't resist a posh bird.
It's our only failing.
Leave the man to his contradictions, he's our man.
When the King's Mistress is happy, the King is happy.
They all want to talk to you.
So what have you lot been talking to them about? Tell them I'm winning this and they're either with me or against me.
We need something to go back to them with? Well ask them to imagine their balls sitting on the Christmas dinner plate alongside the turkey, ham and fucking brussels sprouts and tell them that's their own future they're looking at if they don't vote for me.
And the women? Ring every Cumann leader in the country, have them remind their TDs who it is their grass roots want.
And don't sound desperate.
Listen fella, we've just got the numbers from PJ and we're winning this.
So you're either with us or you're in the wilderness for the next ten years.
We still need a heavyweight to propose you.
Colley's got the whole Cabinet apart from yourself.
500,000? I told you, I talked Allied Irish down from 1.
2 million to 700.
That's Gallagher's contribution along with some other interested parties, keep them quiet for the time being.
And the rest? If you win when you win, there are several new business acquaintances who say they'll be happy to help you out then.
In the meantime, I've set you up a private account with us.
It's a new system I've been working on.
Technically offshore, in Cayman, but available here through a system of back-to-back loans.
It's all anonymous, coded, only I know who or what they stand for.
Des, do you think that before he crowned himself Emperor, Napoleon had to stand around listening to his accountant talk shite? That's why I hire you, to take care of my financial affairs.
Yes Charlie.
Sorry Charlie.
How are the nerves? I do not have nerves PJ, because you have the numbers.
We still need a name to propose you.
My Ireland will give opportunity to new names, those who get there on merit not just because of where they went to school, who their father was.
By the way, your mother had this sent into the office, your father's war medal.
Here he is, the man who would be king.
The man who will be king, Brian.
Don't get too comfortable on that fence, I don't want to have to push you off it myself.
You'll have to push someone soon, without a senior party member to nominate you, there won't even be a vote.
Well, like I said, I'm happy to serve under either of you.
I didn't ask you Brian.
McSharry? I thought it would look better if your Number Two at Finance was proposing me, it sends out a clear signal.
You shouldn't have left him off your Cabinet list.
How Well George, may the best man win If he hasn't already.
SOUNDS OF PARTYING FLOORBOARD CREAKS PJ? They've all gone home or gone to the bar.
Terry, how did you I told the guards if they didn't let me in I'd have every last one of them fired.
Now's your chance to do all those things you always wanted to do.
Now you can show them how brilliant you really are.
Hit the ground running so fast you burn it up.
But first, we must inaugurate your new office.
Healing Charlie, that's what the party needs now.
There's a lot of anger out there, talk of spying and bribes and undue pressure.
I can't be held responsible for my opponent's actions Brian.
You know Brian, why it's me here and not you? Because you want to be liked, and you are liked.
But to achieve that you've had to accept other people's estimation of yourself, to play along with it, even though you're far brighter than that.
But I don't accept other's estimation of myself.
So the likes of Colley and his cronies in the party and Fitzgerald and the blue shirts don't like me, so what? I'm not going to stay in the box they put me in, and I won't stand for this country to be kept in the hole the likes of them have buried it in these past 50 years.
I hope you know you always had my vote? Knew you'd get it one day, my oldest political mucker, whatever role you think fitting.
I'm happy to serve.
KNOCK ON DOOR So this is it? Not quite the Oval Office though, is it? Not yet.
Any thoughts on Justice? That's another thing, how can we ever hope to attract foreign investment with our phones still in the dark ages.
The Pabex, that's the boyo you need, state-of-the-art.
We had them in special branch.
Your mother's on the way up.
Will I have them order it so, the Pabex? What are you doing in this office? You might have fixed the party leadership, but you have not been elected Taoiseach yet.
Are you threatening to vote against your own party colleague? Where's Jack gone? He resigned, didn't you hear? Well, are you? I'll give you the same support you gave Jack.
If you want us and our supporters to vote for you as Taoiseach, we want seats in the Cabinet, a veto on your appointments in Justice and Defence, and George as your Tanaiste.
Are you trying to blackmail me? Are you trying to hold your own party to ransom? How dare you undermine the democratic process.
Mrs Haughey, it's been a long time.
You look well.
I see you bought the hat.
Mrs H, Taoiseach.
I'll walk you down ma, PJ will make sure you have pride of place in the gallery with Maureen and the kids.
And get word to the whip PJ, I will sit in the front bench on my own, no-one will speak for me, except me.
Yes sir.
I call on Dr.
Fitzgerald, leader of the opposition.
I'm conscious of speaking for a large part of the Irish people, including people within Deputy Haughey's own Party, Deputy Haughey presents himself here, seeking to be invested in office, but he comes with a flawed pedigree.
The Labour Leader, Mr Frank Cluskey.
A total lack of scruples, a total lack of principle and a total lack of either personal or business integrity.
Dr.
Noel Browne, Independent.
I'm afraid of Deputy Haughey.
He has done everything to get power and I think he will do anything to hold power.
The question has been put and is carried by 82 votes to 62, I declare Charles J.
Haughey, Taoiseach.
Flawed pedigree? It's what you have that counts, not what people say you are.
And I have power now.
He went to a good school.
Many's a bastard went to a good school.
Come up to Abbeville, this night of all nights.
You know I wouldn't feel comfortable there, Cathal.
And you'll want to be with Maureen and the family.
Take me home.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC AND CHATTER It's all about the psyche, Brits want their kings and queens and the Yanks their president, and we want our Chieftan.
When the chief is fat and happy, his people are happy.
Have you seen him PJ? He's in his study.
Jimmy Would you like a drink, Miss? It's the regulations.
I can't take a shit without the Central Bank wanting to fill out forms upon forms of the what, where and when of it.
I could get you a one to one with Charlie if you like, he's very keen to give businessmen their head.
Liberate them from the shackles of regulation.
Where is he anyway? Inside, accepting the good wishes of his supporters.
If you don't play the game you don't play the game.
And there's only one game in this town now.
And if you're interested, I've developed a new system with Guinness Mahon for selected key business influencers, though technically it's in the Cayman Islands so there's no issue with tax, but because it's accessible here, there are no issues with exchange rate controls either.
Sounds like a tax dodge scheme to me Traynor! A tax efficiency system, fully compliant with legal obligations, if you want to play the game.
A Junior Minister? I had to accommodate Mr Colley and Mr O'Malley.
But they're the pricks.
Well some things cannot be helped.
You promised me the Ministry of Justice.
I didn't promise you anything, Doherty.
They threatened to vote against me, it would have split the party right down the middle.
For the sake of the party I couldn't risk it, Junior at Justice or nothing.
He's right, you shouldn't have done a deal with them, you'll never be rid of them.
You mean they'll never be rid of me.
As Sun Tzu says in the good book, you should crush the fuckers dead.
I was not going to let it be taken away from me PJ, not when I was so close.
After all the dirt I had to eat, after all those chicken dinners.
KNOCK ON DOOR Taoiseach, I'd like to introduce a great friend of mine, and a great admirer of yours.
MUSIC AND LAUGHTER BELOW Well after all the kicks from all the pricks, we did it.
So how does it feel? Like I'm still not Well if you think this is anti-climactic, wait until you see the state of the fucking country! Good evening, I wish to talk to you this evening about the state of the nation's affairs and the picture I have to paint is not, unfortunately, a very cheerful one.
The figures which are just now becoming available to us, show one thing very clearly.
As a community we are living way beyond our means.
I don't mean that everyone in the community is living too well, clearly many are not and have barely enough to get by, but taking us altogether, we have been living at a rate which is simply not justified by the amount of goods and services we are producing.
To make up the difference we have been borrowing enormous amounts of money, borrowing at a rate which simply cannot continue.
In our present economic situation it is madness to think that he can keep on looking for more money for less work.
Since I have staked my personal credibility on it, from now on I will be co-ordinating all policy in relation to financial planning from the Department of the Taoiseach.
What about the Minister for Finance? What about him? Mr O'Kennedy, do you have any objection? Someone has to dig us out of the hole the previous minister dropped us into.
Mr Lynch believed in collective Cabinet responsibility.
You were a member of that government.
He didn't believe in it when it came to importing arms to defend the citizens of Northern Ireland.
Speaking of which, from now on I shall also be taking personal responsibility for our Northern Ireland policy.
That's the responsibility of the Minister for Foreign Affairs! Mr Colley, unlike some I do not consider Northern Ireland to be a foreign affair.
I'm sure Mr Lenihan does not consider Northern Ireland to be a foreign affair, do you Mr Lenihan? I, I no.
Do you, Mr Colley? You had a veto on appointments to Justice and Defence, nothing more, please confine yourself to areas which concern you.
Taoiseach, I feel I must point out, as Secretary to the Government, these changes simply won't work.
The Department of the Taoiseach is, in essence, a small department.
Well Mr Nally, the Taoiseach's office is a small department no longer.
And this government is no longer a place for people who simply won't work.
Do I make myself clear? The rules, the budgets, the policies will all have to be rewritten, we have a lot of tough decisions to make.
Now Mr Nally, will you please pass around the list of proposed cuts.
They're just afraid Charlie.
They're Ministers for fuck sake, they're meant to have the courage to take tough decisions.
But the Party, Charlie, if we implement these cuts we'll be slaughtered in an election.
We're on the brink of having to call in the IMF, I will not preside over such a humiliation, if we get our house in order we can present ourselves to the electorate as the party of good governance.
But the electorate know that we're the ones that spent it in the first place.
That was Lynch's government.
Of which you were a member.
An unwilling and marginalised member.
10 percent off all Departments at a time of 15 percent inflation, 14 percent unemployment, all I'm saying Charlie is Brian, I believe I appointed to you Foreign Affairs, I want this country to eat at the top table of the world.
Not only have I had to agree to Colley and O'Malley, but the rest of my ministers are too worried about their own seats to have the spine to make the right decisions.
We need to make their seats dependent on you.
Winning my own majority, that's got to be the priority, then I can sort the country out.
From Foreign Affairs Taoiseach, there's talk of the H Block Prison protest escalating.
If Foreign Affairs want to make themselves useful, tell them to get me a meeting with Thatcher at the Leader's Summit.
He won't respect you Mr Nally unless you stand up to him.
(Radio announcer) The march organisers warned Mr Haughey's government against cuts that would affect their members, saying that the gap between the rich and the poor was widening, and that inflation and unemployment already placed an intolerable burden on those at the lower end of the pay scale.
Further austerity measures would only increase these social disparities.
Charlie! Ladies.
I can't believe it, Donnycarney's own as Taoiseach.
A ham for you all for the Sunday lunch.
To celebrate.
Jesus Charlie, thanks.
Never forgets his own people, never forgets where he comes from.
Sure wasn't he the one to get us the widow's pension in the first place.
Jacinta give the rest of them to the families that need them most.
Will I say who they're from? Let that be, our little secret and take one for your mammy too.
Too good to us Charlie.
Nothing's too good for you ladies, nor should it be.
KNOCK ON DOOR Yes! Taoiseach, the arrangement for the Leader's Summit.
There's the general meet and greet, then the photo.
There's a pecking order, longer serving Premiers in the middle.
You'll be next to Thatcher as the two new boys.
Rumour has it she's a woman, Mr Nally.
It might be an opportunity for a word.
KNOCK ON DOOR Nothing from Foreign Affairs in the private session with Thatcher? FA from FA.
And Geraldine Kennedy from the Tribune's here, you promised her first interview as Taoiseach.
Tell her I am sorry, it was a mistake and that it would only offend the other scribes and Pharisees.
Colley, what the fuck are you doing on my phone line? VOICES ON THE LINE KNOCK ON DOOR PJ, have Doherty do something about this phone console he got me, I don't want to be listening to George Colley telling Mrs Colley how many rashers he'd like for his tea.
And get me this number in Paris.
Yes sir.
Right lads, whose up for an auld EEC summit in gay Paris? PHONE RINGS Votre Excellence? I'll be there around 7, is everything ready? Quatre costume et douzieme de chemise.
Good, I'll see you then.
President d'Estaing? Charvey, my tailors.
Oh, well I thought I'd let you know personally, we've got you a one-on-one with Schmidt.
At last, a proper politician.
Not you, Helmut Schmidt.
What about Thatcher? Her office said that there are no outstanding matters between Her Majesty's government and the Republic of Ireland.
Apart from six counties, it is not solely for her to decide what is and what is not an outstanding matter.
Car's waiting.
Geraldine, I told you Will I tell my readers that you were lying when you made that promise to me, Taoiseach? Five minutes, gentlemen.
I hope that you'll be writing something positive about me, for a change.
That depends.
Can we start with the economy? You've made a much applauded statement regarding our need to tighten our belts, what measures are you proposing? Myself and my Cabinet are considering a range of radical measures.
But what measures exactly? We cannot deal in specifics until they have been agreed collectively by the Cabinet.
And the North? I intend to address the Northern situation.
How? In 1970, you attempted to illegally import arms.
Mr Haughey, so you have nothing to say about the Arms Trial? PJ, get on to Hugh ask him if he's still in charge of that paper of his, because some of his journalists seem to be pursuing their own personal agendas.
Yes Taoiseach.
Sorry Geraldine.
The economic situation I have inherited is far from ideal, Chancellor Schmidt, Helmut.
Yes I've heard, you have a lot of problems with strikes and so with your balance of payments, and so on.
A devil's circle.
The world is changing.
People are frightened.
The State must work with the workers.
Our workers seem intent on destroying the State.
In Germany every year we meet with the unions, we set aside our political differences and discuss what our problems are.
And then we agree what's best for the country and for the people.
And we sign an agreement that binds us all for the next year.
No chance of our headbangers sitting down with us.
Tell me how it works, this Social partnership, we call it.
Welcome back Taoiseach, how did it go? Well Charlie got some new shirts and his tailor gave me a tie, he told him I was his security guard.
And last night we took Helmut Schmidt for a slap up at the Crillon, Jesus the bill came to more than my annual budget for Foreign Affairs.
Nally will go mental when he sees it.
Welcome back Taoiseach.
Mr Nally.
But as Charlie says we've got to look the part if you want to be taken seriously.
Dare I ask, Thatcher? Wouldn't meet with him.
Do you not have any good news for me, PJ? You might want to have a word with your Tanaiste.
You will state your unequivocal loyalty to me and the government, we made a deal.
You got what you wanted, in return I get your loyalty.
Yet I go away for two days and you're making speeches, saying I enjoy no such loyalty.
I made you Tanaiste.
In return for voting for you as Taoiseach, nothing more.
You're a member of my government.
The government.
The press knew the Cabinet had knocked back my proposed cuts.
There were 15 of us around that table.
Are you going to fire me? Most of your Cabinet colleagues, apart from O'Malley, say I should.
But that's what you want.
To be the martyr to your twisted morality.
Why should I give you what you want? In my Cabinet you are more tied to me than I am to you.
What is power if it's not absolute? To be rid of them I need to win my own majority, to do that I need to fix the economy.
But to thwart me they block my every effort, they're willing to let the whole country go down the tube, why? Out of spite, because I'm a gurrier from the wrong side of the tracks.
Those pricks would sooner split the Party, lose their seats, destroy the country than let me run it as I know I can.
That bitch Thatcher won't even talk to us about the North.
That's entirely my boy.
I have to open up the Ard Fheis at the end of the week, I've nothing to give them.
Give them hope.
Give them vision.
How did you win the job in the first place? The North.
That was just a tactic to remove Lynch.
Turn it into a strategy.
As leader they will be only too willing to throw the Arms Trial at me.
Exactly, that's what they're all counting on.
Colley, Fitzgerald and Thatcher, that you'll be too afraid to speak your mind on it.
Go on the attack, call their bluff, you sort out the North you'll win your majority, you'll be free of those pricks forever.
Yes, the North, that would be the achievement.
But Thatcher doesn't have a bluff.
Have you forgotten yourself completely? What is it you're best at, better than even politics? Seducing difficult women.
Whatever it takes Nally.
Tell the Brits we're willing to consider everything to find a solution.
Constitutional change, NATO membership, even Thatcher's precious EEC contributions and CAP reform, just get her to the Summit table.
I've been on to Hume and he agrees, we need to change the dynamic of the argument.
Nationalists talk to us, Unionists talk to London, but London and us hide behind constitutional positions and won't talk to each other, that's why it's always failed.
Why don't you say that? Northern Ireland is a failed political entity.
The grass-roots will love you for it, it will steal a march on Sinn Fein and make Thatcher sit up.
And drag us into civil war! No, if we let it be known in Washington that we're willing to discuss every possible outcome to progress the situation it will give her no alternative.
She is desperate to get into bed with Reagan, she'll have to meet with me, even if only to put me in my place.
And if it backfires? That's why I'm a politician, Nally, and you're a civil servant.
I have got something between my legs.
With all due respect Taoiseach, kindly F Off.
LAUGHTER He I'm sorry, Taoiseach.
No.
I apologise for my associate, Mr Mara, and it is good of you to stay so late, Mr Nally.
You better have something good for my entrance.
I thought the Rocky theme? Or I can't Get Any Satisfaction.
A Nation Once Again? Oh go on? You mean sing it? No, paint it.
When boyhood's fire was in my blood, I read of ancient A nation once again Neither apologetic about our national aims, nor ambivalent in our pursuit of them.
RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE And Ireland long a province been, a nation once again.
A nation once again, And Ireland long a province been, a nation once again.
(Shouting) We want Charlie.
We want Charlie.
One for your mother's collection? Got to be matched by deeds.
It says you're going to meet yer one Thatcher in Downing Street.
Make sure she shows you proper respect, just because we're Irish, you know? I'll show her proper respect, even though she's English.
And call for the British to declare their interest in the eventual unity of Ireland.
Strong, clear, direct, excellent document Nally.
Just here.
Hello boys.
Mrs Keane is here to cover the London summit from the fashion angle.
All ready to do battle with Perfidious Albion? And what a fine example of Irish craftsmanship you present me with, Mr Haughey.
Every time I drain its spout, I'll think of you.
LAUGHTER In our private session I praised her Rhodesian strategy.
Whether this is Irish Blarney or shameless flattery, Mr Haughey, I'm not quite sure, but I do like it when you talk Rhodesian positions.
Slowly I brought her around to the main business, we're both new to this I said, but that is also a chance for us to start afresh, consider all the relationships.
But one in particular.
I got her to agree that we should meet regularly and discuss these relationships bi-laterally, as grown-ups.
She's coming to Dublin in December, if we can make progress, as I am sure that we can, then (Bangs on table) Perfect launch for re-election.
No, no, least I can do.
To Charlie, to Charlie and peace in the North, financial deregulation in our time, and of course, a landslide victory at the next election.
Charlie! (On phone) Just need to bide our time, he's got to call an election before next summer, the whole public sector is about to go out if they don't get 20 percent, and he can't give them that, it's just not in the estimates.
Every time I pick up my phone there are voices in my head.
That book that PJ gave me, the Art Of War, it says the great sovereign sees through a third eye, the eye of spy.
I am the leader of a modern democracy Doherty, not Mao Tse fucking Tung.
Did you never hear tell of something called Watergate? But the system's legit, we had them in Special Branch.
It's just, if the boss needs to talk to somebody pronto, he can override any call that they're on.
Being able to listen in on them is an added bonus.
But if it were known that I could listen into any call in Leinster House without the caller being aware, there's a moral dimension Doherty.
Moral dimension sorted, leave it to the Doc, but if you ever change your mind about I won't.
Or, I could make a few of my own inquiries to save you any further "moral dilemmas".
They're here, sir.
Show them in.
Shall I call the relevant ministers? No, I don't want them messing things up.
What's the plan? To win the next election.
With inflation running over 15 percent Taoiseach, my members have to live.
All any of us are trying to do.
The 20 percent we're demanding is non-negotiable.
Everything is negotiable.
Well then you leave us no alternative but to go out, and it won't just be the teachers or postal workers this time, it will be the whole public sector.
You won't have a country left to run.
Sit down and don't threaten me.
Sit down I said.
Tell me, how have you come to this 20 percent? We're not settling for anything less.
The reason I want to negotiate with you directly is because I'm on your side.
(Chuckles) The side of the worker.
As many in my Cabinet were against doing anything for you, simply to bring about a state of national crisis, to bring me down.
They can't stand that a working class boy from Dublin's Northside is running the country.
They're willing to play with your member's livelihoods to play politics with me.
Now I ask you, why 20 percent? If inflation stays at 15 percent next year, which it is likely to do, you'll be back here looking for more.
What should we be asking? Over two years you should be looking at a 32.
75 percent pay settlement, let's call it 34 percent, in case of variation, though it will depend on my staying in power.
What's the catch? When I am returned I expect you to enter into regular agreements with us for the good of the country.
We are not your enemies.
We are your social partners.
34 percent? I've asked them to keep it under their hats until I've informed the Cabinet.
You haven't discussed it with the Minister for Finance? No.
But Taoiseach this Do you really think it's from the IRA? The name, their call sign.
The provos know I'm key now.
I've reached a stalemate with Thatcher, she won't back down over recognising H-Blockers, the IRA can't back down from going on hunger strikes once they've been called.
But why go to you? Because I'm key to the man who's key.
When will we meet them? Do you think that I, or anyone associated with me, can be seen to meet with these men? Charlie, Charlie stay, just to wake up beside you I'm expected at home.
Just once, Charlie! I'm sorry.
SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND Are you telling the Taoiseach what he can and can't do, Mr Colley? We're nearly bankrupt as it is.
They are estimates, estimates are not facts.
They should be based on them at least.
No estimates change as new facts emerge.
The new data is worse than the old.
You tell the country we must tighten our belts then you spend, spend, spend.
Our GDP to debt ratio is touching 100 percent.
Everything we earn goes to servicing that debt.
Because you lot wouldn't accept the cuts I proposed.
Now we can keep on borrowing at this rate until March, then when I'm re-elected with my own majority then I will revise my estimates.
George, listen, it might be a fix, in the short-term, with the election unknown.
So you're all right with him trying to buy the election by rigging the estimates.
We have to think of the Party.
What will you say after? That you were just obeying orders? It's you who's got the problem with the democratic will of the Party, Colley.
Did you talk to them, the Provos? Communication has been established.
So why Mrs Keane? So that you know they know where you ought to be and where you really are, he said.
What's the message? Hunger strikes are on, ten of them, October.
The leadership support the strikes but privately believe it's doomed as a strategy.
They think Thatcher's not the type to give in.
They want you to persuade her to give way on some of the demands so that everyone can find a way out.
We'll fight on my image and mine alone, I'll win this election for myself, I will not be beholden to anyone else.
Get that one to Mount Street.
Yes Mr Mara, sir.
But there's a Hunger Strike march today.
The best thing you can do for those boys in the H-Blocks is to help me win this next election.
Yes sir, Taoiseach.
It's a site, I'm hoping to buy it.
Must be paying you well.
With some mates, if we can get the price down.
O'Hara is the estate agent.
I could have a word with Bill.
Just get that picture to Party Headquarters and keep out of trouble.
They say the Council might consider rezoning it too.
Mount Street, you cheeky bollox.
Yes boss.
Cabinet confidentiality is very important, Sean.
It is Taoiseach.
Crucial to the running of a democratic government.
As Junior Minister for Justice, I shall make it part of my personal responsibility to find the source of these leaks, and fix it.
(Radio) Accompanied by her Foreign Minister and Northern Ireland Secretary of State, Mrs Thatcher's visit to Dublin Castle looks set to be the most important Anglo Irish Summit since the foundation of the State.
What's this PJ? Timotei, it says.
What are we trying to do here? We're trying to show her that we have some class, that we have some pride, that we're a real fucking country, that can make its own shampoo.
She's only here for the day, what does she need shampoo for anyway.
She's hardly going to break off in the middle of the Summit and wash her fucking hair.
You know, this is not just me against Thatcher, this is me against her, her Cabinet, her civil service, the press, most of my own Cabinet and civil service, they're all just waiting, so everything has got to be right.
But now Mr Haughey, she says, I see that you're a man that I can do business with.
Let us do business then Margaret, says he.
Let us explore the totality of relations.
Great phrase, Nally.
Thank you.
You know that Lord Carrington told me that they have been trying to persuade her for months to tackle the North together with us, and doesn't she see them, double them and then go and tell you privately that she has nothing against unity.
So long as they're not seen to promote it.
Historic in any man's language, how do you do it? I have a way with difficult women.
Gets enough practice.
(They all laugh) Sorry Geraldine, private conversation.
Historic you said at the press conference, is that your reading? Or was it just a card to swing the election.
Will you lot never give me just a jot of credit? 60 years ago my mother and father fought for this, they had to leave their home in Derry because of this, had to bring us up in poverty because of this.
Everything I have done I have done to make this good, so that no one has to live that life again, so that we can hold our heads up high amongst the nations of the world.
And now finally I get the British government to treat me, and us, as equals, to accept that we are part of the solution and not the problem.
And even that you begrudge me.
No, that's why I dropped in.
I wanted to congratulate you.
And to ask whether I can say that you claim an historic breakthrough? Yes, say that, why not something positive for a change.
But no more specific than that.
The totality of our relations are still fragile.
Now for once will you leave off the third degree and join us in a drink? I'm sorry Taoiseach, I'm afraid I have to file my story.
So are you going to tell us what Maggie whispered to you on the way out? She said, you're the first leader I've met, Mr Haughey, who's got a bigger cock than mine.
LAUGHTER From now on, I want good news stories only.
I have an election to win.
Good man Charlie.
Slainte.
My information, Margaret, is that the prisoners did not surrender and that there was a deal and that you've reneged.
Okay, you do not talk to terrorists, you do not make deals with them, but the document, this mountain climber, your go-between brought them, yes, it's open to interpretation, but they've had plenty of time to study semantics in that prison.
You won't get anywhere rubbing their noses in it.
Margaret, remember what I said in Dublin? I am with you all the way on this.
You know we're on the same side.
I'm sorry once again about those press reports, over excited journalists.
Oh, it won't happen again.
I can assure you of that.
Nally? (Laughter on phone) Nally? Nally, get in here and get this fucker O'Malley out of my head will you.
(Voice on phone:) Amadan, that's what the Provos called him.
turfed out of office.
I'll let our friends in the press A helpful discussion with Mrs Thatcher, Taoiseach? A contradiction in terms, but I've talked her down.
A memo to all ministers, there must be no more loose talk about Irish unity.
No, not a memo.
An edict.
I categorically stand by my comments.
The totality of relations opens the way for Irish unity, within a decade, in any man's language.
Are you suggesting that Mrs Thatcher has privately agreed to all of this? (Voice of Reverend Ian Paisley on radio:) The Unionist people of Ulster were cutting civilisation out of the bogs and meadows of this country, while Mr Haughey's ancestors were wearing pig skins and living in caves.
Dr Paisley, can I just How did the summit go, Taoiseach? Charlie, Taoiseach, I She made me sit outside the room for ten minutes until she'd see me.
The last person who did that was the headmaster at Joey's in Fairview, I was 11.
And I swore I would never, ever be humiliated like that again, Brian.
But you said good news for the election.
All that hard work, wooing her, cajoling her, flattering her, only to have her talk down to me like I was a child of 11, again.
Who can't keep his pals in order.
Like we're not a real nation at all, just playing at it.
All bilateral meetings are off, the North is about to blow, we've lost our place at the table.
How am I meant to win an election, Brian? If the few ministers who were meant to support me go around undoing my work.
I thought it might turn up the heat on her.
Turn up the heat on her? She's a fucking blowtorch, Brian.
(Margaret Thatcher on radio:) The government will never concede political status to the hunger strikers.
Turn that woman off, would you Jacinta.
It's all about timing Charlie.
I figure tomorrow's the bottom of the barrel and the Last Chance Saloon at the Okay Corral, if you want a majority.
You've got the edge in the polls, but the economy, hunger strikes, we're on a knife edge.
At the Ard Fheis you have the grass-roots, your people.
The people who love you, and the full telly coverage.
Off anywhere special for Valentine's, Jacinta? Anywhere special or had someone special.
Here, go and buy yourself a new dress, show off those lovely legs of yours.
Thanks Charlie.
Don't forget your mother's RTE Guide.
You take great care of her, I hope I can rely on your vote.
Sure who else is there? Are you holding an election? You heard it here first.
Good man, Charlie.
The period which has passed since I first addressed you as Taoiseach and President of Fianna Fail, has in many respects, been one of the most difficult and anxious which That, our country has had to face.
The difficulties which have confronted us have proved more formidable than anyone could possibly have anticipated.
That's as maybe, but you mustn't appear the victim, or the cause of the difficulties, but the hero.
In the midst of a world economic recession, unprecedented in its severity, I have concentrated on bringing the economy safely through.
Our father who art in Abbeville! Practically alone among the countries of Europe, we have succeeded in maintaining economic growth.
We have? Yeah, because I've thrown money at the fucking unions.
No, because you've invested in infrastructure and people.
Through investment in people and infrastructure The security and comforts which our old people have earned, and the bright future which our children so richly deserve.
On Monday I go to President Hillery and ask him to dissolve the Dail.
Good man Charlie.
Music, PJ.
What have you got for me this year? It's now or never? Haha, no it's a cracker.
You'll have them singing in the aisles.
MUSIC From southern glens to Aston Shores, The ancient cry of freedom roars From Northern hills to Leinster's doors, We'll rise and follow Charlie Charlie's song we'll sing as one (TV announcer) Images just coming through from the Stardust Nightclub in North Dublin, fire officers say there have been many casualties, witnesses say the emergency lights failed and that the fire doors were chained shut, others say they were herded into toilets where many have been crushed.
The Dublin Fire Brigade are still KNOCK ON DOOR Fetch our coats Jimmy.
Best I could find.
We must be going Charlie, the Ard Fheis.
Postpone it.
But the election.
They're saying 50 dead, PJ.
50 of my constituents.
Don't want to look like I have no heart.
It's a tragedy, Taoiseach, a desperate tragedy.
But all our plans are for this moment.
The majority is there for the taking, but the window through which you might take it is open only momentarily.
You can't step into the same river twice.
I can.
I will.
We must postpone it.
(Radio announcer:) As the hunger strikes enter their 13th week, Mrs Thatcher continues to rule out any concessions to the prisoners.
Relations with the Irish government have taken a turn for the worst as the various factions involved jockey for position.
Further dialogue seems unlikely unless someone can break the deadlock.
Any chance of a Dublin led compromise agreement is receding fast after the promising start to discussions with Mrs Thatcher's historic visit to Dublin in December.
Neither side seems prepared to offer any quarter (Announcer:) The votes for the Fermanagh and South Tyrone By-election have now been counted.
West, Henry W, Ulster Unionist, 29,046.
Sands, Bobby, Anti H-Block, Armagh, political prisoner, 30,492.
Bobby Sands MP.
Well that's it, it's Provos a go-go.
Sinn Fein are the Republican Party now and they'll be looking at our border constituencies and licking their lips.
It's nearly summer Charlie, there's only a few weeks left for the Dail to run.
We have to call the election, whether we like it or not.
You never know, this hunger strike thing might blow over.
Taoiseach, does this change the political landscape? Excuse me, Geraldine.
Has your green card been trumped? Mr Haughey, does this blow your chances of an overall majority? Are you ready to call the election, Mr Haughey? Mr Haughey, are you ready to call the election? Taoiseach, will Fianna Fail stand against the hunger strike?