Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1 [theme music playing.]
[bats fluttering.]
[thunder crashes.]
[crows cawing.]
[lightning sizzles.]
[bats screeching.]
[girl.]
In the town of Greendale, where it always feels like Halloween, there lived a girl who is half-witch, half-mortal, who, on her 16th birthday, would have to choose between two worlds: the witch world of her family, and the human world of her friends.
My name is Sabrina Spellman, and that girl is me.
- [man in movie screams.]
- [audience gasps.]
[zombies growling, hissing.]
I was confused by the zombies.
I mean, why were they so freakin' slow? Fast-moving zombies is a relatively new concept in horror.
Earlier incarnations assumed that reanimated corpses were afflicted by rigor mortis, and, as such, moved slowly.
[people chattering.]
- [boy.]
How does she know these things? - [girl.]
No idea.
- [boy.]
Just thought they were kinda weird.
- [girl.]
I thought it was weird too.
It's fine.
[woman.]
Oh, excuse me.
- Sabrina.
- Ms.
Wardwell.
Hi.
[chuckles.]
I didn't know you were a fan of horror movies.
Sabrina's nuts for 'em, the gorier the better.
Well, um, who doesn't enjoy a good scare every now and again? Especially this time of year.
Ms.
Wardwell, we have a tradition of going to the movies and then to Dr.
Cerberus's to dissect whatever we just saw.
- Do you want to join us? - I have papers to grade.
But thank you, thank you for the offer.
Really.
See you in class, guys.
'Brina, why would you do that? - Invite Ms.
Wardwell? - Yeah.
I feel bad for her, living in that house all alone.
["Bad Moon Rising" playing on radio.]
I see a bad moon rising I see trouble on the way I see [tires screech.]
[panting.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[Wardwell.]
Hello? [girl.]
Help me, please.
[whispers.]
Oh, my God.
You poor creature.
My cottage is just down the road.
We'll get you all cleaned up, then call Dr.
Saperstein in the morning.
- [kids chattering.]
- [upbeat music playing.]
[girl.]
The whole thing functions as a metaphor.
[boy.]
It's a monster movie, Susie.
[Sabrina.]
Devil's advocate, can't it be both? - Exactly! Exactly, it is both.
- Yes.
On one level, yes, it's about zombies, but it's also about the Cold War.
- Civil rights.
- The collapse of the nuclear family.
- Did we just watch different movies? - [Susie.]
You didn't get that? From when the daughter turned into a zombie and then ate her mother? I think Harvey may have had his eyes closed during that part.
- No, I didn't.
- [girl.]
Aww! [Susie.]
Oh, that's terrible.
You missed the best - [Harvey.]
Save yourself, Sabrina! - [Sabrina laughs.]
No! [Harvey.]
I'm a little scared.
- [Sabrina.]
You seem very scared.
- [Harvey.]
They're in the woods.
Mmm! [Sabrina yells and chuckles.]
No, I'm not scared.
I'm not scared.
"They're coming to get you, Barbara.
" Harvey Kinkle, the only person you're gonna scare is yourself! [squeals.]
[Sabrina chuckles.]
[Harvey.]
Gotcha.
[both chuckle.]
I got you something.
[chuckles softly.]
Harvey.
[Harvey exhales.]
I love you, Sabrina.
I was gonna wait until your birthday to say that but since we maybe can't celebrate together this year, I thought I'm glad you didn't.
I love it.
And you.
[Harvey chuckles softly.]
Good night, Harvey.
Good night, Sabrina.
[chuckles.]
[soft whoosh.]
["Be My Baby" playing.]
- Be my, be my baby - Be my little baby - My one and only baby - Oh - Be my, be my baby - Oh - My one and only baby - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh [Wardwell.]
I brewed you some tea.
[fire crackling.]
I found some yummy almond cookies in the cupboard.
Won't you tell me your name? Or what happened? Did someone attack you? No.
The woods did.
Oh, well You're not from around here, are you? Everyone knows about the witch hunt in Salem, but there was one right here in Greendale Thirteen witches were hung in the forest and their angry spirits have haunted the woods ever since.
How do you know so much about witches? Well, I am Greendale's unofficial town historian, I suppose.
Plus, I teach at the local high school, Baxter High.
Is one of your students named Sabrina? Why, yes.
Sabrina Spellman.
Do you know Sabrina? [voice distorted, raspy.]
No, but I knew her bastard-of-a-father who broke sacred witch law when he married a mortal sow.
[gasping.]
[reciting spell in Latin.]
[continues reciting spell.]
The great work begins, Dark Lord.
I shall deliver Sabrina unto you.
[gasps.]
[owl hooting in distance.]
[bat chitters, screeches.]
[squeaking.]
[sighs.]
[screeching.]
Absit omen.
[crows cawing.]
Good morning, Aunties.
Ambrose.
[woman 1.]
Morning, darling.
How did you sleep? Tempestuously, by the sounds of it.
Now that you mention it, Aunt Zee, I did wake up once or twice.
It's an exciting time [chuckles.]
in more ways than one.
Hmm, I remember the week before my dark baptism.
It felt as if my real life were finally beginning.
I barely slept.
Rabbit's feet, under your pillow tonight, you'll sleep like the dead.
Speaking of the dead, a bat flew into my room last night.
- Smashed through one of my windows.
- Oh, want me to bring it back? No, Ambrose, we'll have none of your necromancy.
- Okay if I bury it in the garden? - [woman 1.]
Yes.
As you wish.
You can bury it in the pet cemetery by the sundial.
There's room there.
Oh, wait, what's this? Before it can be baptized, the temple of your body needs to be purified.
Cleansed of its toxins.
This is actually milk and eggs and rosemary and agrimony, and a cupful of vanilla and a pinch of John the Conqueror root and tannis.
Uh, and other herbs from my garden.
Drink up, darling.
- [clears throat.]
Don't do it, cousin.
- [Zee.]
Ambrose.
Sabrina, you need to pick a familiar before your dark baptism.
The Council sent the registry.
I've, uh, indicated a few suitable options.
Now, there's a very handsome hedgehog, a noble-looking owl.
Vinegar Tom would happily welcome another dog.
[Sabrina.]
About that, Aunt Zee.
[sighs.]
Instead of picking a familiar out of a book, which is so, I don't know, dehumanizing Familiars are goblins who have taken on the shape of animals to better serve their witch masters.
There's nothing human about them.
But I've been practicing a summoning spell I found in the Demonomicon, and what if I put it out there that I'm looking for a familiar, and see if anyone wants to volunteer? [woman 1.]
I think that's a charming idea.
What about your baptismal name? Have you settled on one yet? I have, as a matter of fact.
Edwina Diana.
Edwina, which is almost Edward, to honor my father, and Diana, to honor my mother.
And not just to honor them to be closer to them.
To have them with me as I walk the Path of Night.
[voice breaks.]
I wasn't gonna cry.
And [stammers.]
I just wish your mom and dad were here to see this, to see you.
- Me too, Auntie.
- [sniffs.]
They would be so proud of you.
They would be so proud of the young woman you've become.
Correction, Hilda, they'd be so proud of the young witch she is becoming.
Penny Dreadful for your thoughts, cousin? Just [sighs.]
some people might say that a bat crashing through a window is a bad omen.
I also found a two-headed frog in my shoe yesterday.
Hold a tick, you're not having doubts, are you, about your dark baptism? Back inside with Madams Jekyll and Hyde, you seemed excited.
And I am.
But I'm also a little It's all right to to be a little nervous.
Going into the woods, signing your name in the Dark Lord's book.
Even I had butterflies.
[chuckles.]
What have you told your mortal friends? That you're being transferred to some posh boarding school in Connecticut? Cousin - you have told them something, I hope.
- Not yet.
- I'm waiting for the right time.
- But it will never be the right time.
That's why you must rip this particular Band-Aid off.
You wouldn't understand, Ambrose, you were born a full witch.
You didn't have to say goodbye to half your life, your friends, your boyfriend.
True, but afterwards, when you're fully a witch, you'll stay younger longer.
You'll cultivate your gifts at the Academy of Unseen Arts, where your father was headmaster.
You will belong, cousin, in every sense of the word.
I know.
And I want all those things.
I do.
It's just [sighs.]
It's dumb.
You're only supposed to start missing things after you say goodbye to them, right? I've been under house arrest with our aunties for the last 75 years, Sabrina.
Forbidden from leaving these grounds.
I am continuously missing everything.
[dings.]
Spirits of the forest, I pronounce my intentions to thee.
Come forth and seek me, and equal we will be.
[dings.]
Not master and servant, but familiar to familiar, to share our knowledge, our spirit, and our traits.
[dings.]
[spirits sigh softly.]
[exhales.]
And now, spirits, we will wait.
[wind blowing.]
[leaves rustling.]
A summoning spell, Sabrina? - Calling forth a familiar? - Then you are being baptized.
Prudence, Dorcas, Agatha.
[Prudence.]
Well, well, well And are we to assume that means you'll be transferring to the Academy of Unseen Arts as well? That's the plan.
[Prudence.]
That's unfortunate.
We don't want half-breeds at the academy.
And who, exactly, are you calling a half-breed? Isn't that what you are? Half-witch, half-mortal? Stay with your own kind.
You don't want what happened to your mother and father to happen to you.
What did you say? [Dorcas.]
The accident that took their lives It would be tragic if a similar one befell you.
I'm not gonna be baited or bullied by you, not in the woods and not at the academy.
Stubborn mutt.
[reciting spell in Latin.]
What are you doing? [spell continues.]
A curse? You're cursing me? [all whoosh away.]
[laughter echoing.]
Succubitches.
- [students chattering.]
- Sabrina.
Hey, girl.
Stepped in some poison ivy, Roz.
Gotta wash it off me.
Okay.
[water running in shower.]
[Sabrina.]
If truly I am cursed today, let water wash the hex away.
If truly I am cursed today, let water wash the hex away.
[Susie whimpering.]
Susie? Susie.
What's going on? What happened? [soft sobs.]
They pulled up my shirt.
What? Who did? [Sabrina.]
It was four of them.
Four troglodyte football players.
They pulled up her shirt, Principal Hawthorne, because they wanted to see if she had breasts.
To see if she was really a boy or a girl under there.
Well, uh, Miss Spellman, if you could give me their names, then I will have them in for review.
Susie wouldn't tell me.
But I can guess.
Or you can bring in all the football players for questioning.
You're suggesting a witch hunt? I don't care for that term.
But Susie doesn't feel safe here, in your school.
She is living in a constant state of fear.
Hmm.
Well, if that is true, then you, as her friend might suggest to Miss Putnam that she find another school.
- [Harvey.]
Hey, what's up? Everything okay? - Some jerks were picking on Susie, being cruel to her, Harvey.
Calling her a freak, pawing at her.
[Harvey.]
Assholes.
Who were they? Susie won't tell me their names, but can you ask around? I'll do the same.
Of course, but 'Brina, these guys, they'll close ranks.
Especially to someone not on their bullshit team.
[Sabrina.]
We have to do something, Harvey, this can't keep happening.
[Harvey.]
I'm with you, we'll try, I'm just saying That there's no way to protect Susie? Is that what everyone's telling me? Not at all.
Perhaps I can be of assistance, Sabrina.
Ms.
Wardwell? Yes? [Wardwell.]
My heart weeps for your friend.
Such a difficult thing to be going through.
Yeah, it's this, uh this town, this school, there's a culture of Puritanical masculinity? And Principal Hawthorne is the most intolerant, the most buffoonish, the most misogynist of all.
When will the world learn? Women should be in charge of everything.
Our assistant principal, Ms.
Glover, she wouldn't turn a blind eye to what's happening.
I just wish Hawthorne would just Just what? Hawthorne's a bully and I wish someone would teach him a lesson.
Why not you? How would that help Susie? A fish rots from the head down.
Principal Hawthorne isn't an ally.
If If he were to take a sabbatical, say, I suspect you and your friends would come up with some way to help Susie.
The problem is, Hawthorne doesn't take sabbaticals or days off, even.
He's scared of spiders, you know.
Principal Hawthorne is? Hmm.
[laughs.]
Absolutely terrified of them.
A graven image.
The football players are a symptom, but the disease goes much deeper, into the bedrock of this school.
So, that's where we fight it, with a club.
For young women.
To meet and bolster each other.
Where we can discuss issues and problems we're facing and come up with proactive solutions.
You mean, like, a club to topple the white patriarchy? - Wait.
What? - Exactly.
To mobilize and protest if we need to get political, to fight when we need to fight, to defend each other.
So Susie never feels alone, so none of us do.
Won't Hawthorne block this? He wouldn't let me start a Daughters of the Black Panthers club last year.
I may have a plan for getting this through without the interference of Hawthorne.
I just need to do it fast.
How fast? As soon as possible.
But definitely by Friday.
Just in time for your birthday.
Yes, but remember, we're not making a big deal about that - this year.
- [Roz.]
But it is a big deal.
It's your sweet 16, on Halloween.
There's an eclipse.
I mean, that kind of cosmic alignment demands a party.
- Harvey, back me up.
- I've tried, Roz, multiple times, but But I have plans with my aunts.
Years-in-the-making plans.
It's a super-secret Spellman family tradition that I'm not supposed to talk about, so let's just focus on our club.
What should we call it? [Roz.]
The She-Hawks.
[cawing.]
Ah, Stolas.
My familiar, my faithful factotum.
[caws.]
Our Dark Lord is wise.
He senses her attachment to the mortal world and has sent us to see that his will will be done.
[chuckles.]
And see to it we shall.
[phone rings.]
Spellman Sisters Mortuary, how may I assist you? [pants.]
Oh, no.
[Zee.]
Yes, Hilda, what is it? A young man has just been stabbed.
His mother and father are coming to see us.
Poor, poor dears.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
Praise Satan.
And do the parents want an open or closed casket? [stammers.]
We didn't get that far, Zelda.
Their son was just stabbed to death.
Well, even if we can't use his flesh, we still need blood for Sabrina's baptism, and human blood is always preferable, so, the timing couldn't be more perfect.
Hellishly so.
[softly.]
It's It's very funny.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Kemper, we're so sorry for your loss.
My sister and I will do everything to make it as painless as possible.
We couldn't have children, so we had to adopt Connor.
Oh.
Could you make him look like that? [Harvey.]
About your birthday, 'Brina.
I know you have this super mysterious thing with your aunts you're not allowed to talk about but are you a hundred percent sure I can't convince you otherwise? It could just be the two of us watching the eclipse together, waiting for it to get dark.
- Harvey, that sounds like a dream.
- Mm-hmm.
But this thing, it's it's kind of an obligation.
[sighs.]
And you really can't tell us, tell me, anything about it? Only that it's important to my aunts and to me.
What's so important you're gonna miss your birthday for it? It's not so much about my birthday.
It's It's more about what comes after.
That sounds ominous.
I'm moving, Harvey.
[sighs.]
I'm leaving Baxter High and going to a boarding school in Connecticut.
What? Are you being serious? My aunts are dropping me off this Friday night.
What the hell are you talking about, Sabrina? I'm talking about this amazing opportunity that I I can't say no to.
So amazing you've never mentioned it to me? Or to Roz? Or to Susie? I didn't want to freak you guys out.
So what? You were just going to leave? Without saying bye? No, of course not.
Well what school? What's its name? Um, it's, uh Sorry, I'm blanking.
- Really? - It's on the tip of my brain.
[sighs.]
'Cause I gotta say, 'Brina, this is all feeling kind of shady.
It's almost like What? I dunno, like you're hiding something from me which you don't ever have to do.
You know that, right? No, of course I know that.
You can just tell me the truth whatever it is and it'll be fine.
I Seriously, 'Brina.
- [Sabrina sighs.]
- There's nothing we can't handle, as long as we're being honest with each other.
Harvey What is it? Tell me.
It might be easier if I showed you.
Okay.
[birds twittering.]
[Sabrina.]
Listen.
I love that sound.
The wind blowing through tree branches.
I think that's my favorite sound in the whole world.
What did you want to show me? This place.
It's where I was born, Harvey.
Not in Greendale General.
Here.
In this grove of trees.
Almost 16 years ago.
[sighs.]
It's also where I'll be reborn this Friday night.
On my 16th birthday, at the stroke of midnight, under an eclipsing blood moon.
I don't understand.
Reborn how? The ceremony's called a dark baptism, but it's not as bad as it sounds.
It's kind of like when we went to Shoshanna Feldman's bat mitzvah.
Or Guadalupe Lopez's quinceañera.
I'm leaving my girlhood behind.
[chuckles.]
In the woods? Is that a metaphor? Harvey, do you remember at the beginning of the school year, what Miss Wardwell told us about Ye Olde Greendale? How there were witch trials like in Salem, but no one ever talked about them or wrote about them? There are no gravestones, no monuments? Hazily, yeah.
That's because the witches didn't want anyone to know.
So that the coven could keep living in Greendale, privately, undisturbed, through the centuries.
So that we could.
"We.
" [laughs.]
What are you saying? That you're a Half-witch.
On my father's side.
I'm saying that witches are real, Harvey.
And my father was one.
A warlock.
And that after this weekend, after my baptism, after I sign my name in the Dark Lord's book, I'll have to leave Baxter High and go to the Academy of Unseen Arts What? and renounce any and all meaningful connections to mortals.
There are so many delicious things about being a witch, but the one really bad thing is saying goodbye to you and to Roz and Susie.
I mean Are you saying all this because you don't want to be with me? Because I said I love you? No, Harvey, no.
I'm saying this because on Monday morning, I don't want to suddenly be gone from your life and you not know why or blame yourself.
I know it's a lot to take in.
That you're a witch? Sorry, a half-witch? Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
So, forget I said anything.
Harvey, listen to my voice, hear my words, and forget I said anything.
Bless your mind, bless your heart, let these painful thoughts depart.
[Harvey.]
Wait - Oh! - Harvey? Sabrina, what Where are we? The woods.
[crows cawing.]
We were walking home and decided to try a different path.
Oh.
[sighs.]
- Then? - Then we got lost for a minute but now we're okay.
Good.
[sighs.]
Were we talking about something? I was telling you how I have plans with my aunts this Halloween.
Hey.
Hey.
- Why so glum? Sabrina.
- [sighs.]
I was telling Harvey that I was leaving Baxter High to Go to a posh boarding school in Connecticut? Yes, but then, I didn't want to lie to him, Ambrose, so [sighs.]
I told him I was a witch.
Oh, my.
But it was too wrenching so I took it back.
- Wrenching in what way? - In every way.
This whole situation, it's it's impossible.
I love Harvey.
I don't want to say bye to him.
Or my friends.
I wish I could just bring them with me.
Along the Path of Night? Oh, cousin.
If If only I could make things easier for you.
That's okay.
I'll get through it.
I'll get through it.
But one thing you can do is help me with a spell later.
To deal with my principal.
So I can set up a club at school before my baptism.
To protect Susie.
And all the girls.
If I can't stay with them, at least I can do this one thing.
My grimoire is your grimoire.
And what time will we be spell-casting? - Midnight-ish.
- The witching hour? Ooh, spooky.
[door opens and closes.]
Oh, Aunt Hilda, the weird sisters are horrible.
Everyone who goes to the academy is snobby and horrible and racist.
Why on earth would they curse you for no reason? Don't worry, I washed it off me.
- Well, we're gonna check that for sure.
- [Zelda.]
They're jealous of you.
You're the daughter of a High Priest.
Who are they? [scoffs.]
Nobodies.
But that's precisely why you need a familiar.
To protect you from these sorts of attacks.
I tried summoning one.
[clears throat.]
Break an egg, please, miss.
[breathes deeply.]
Better safe than sorry.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
I was right.
That is a blood curse.
Oh, it's lingering.
So, untreated, that is gonna eat slowly away at your health, your will, and your sanity.
So, a regimen of salt water baths, reversing candles for a couple of weeks, and that will do the trick, I think.
All right, off you go.
[Sabrina sighs.]
Aunties? The weird sisters said something about Mom and Dad.
What did they say about your mother and father? Their accident.
They were almost implying that it wasn't an accident.
- Well, that's just poppycock.
- Yeah.
Your father and mother were flying to Italy.
Edward was giving a lecture at the Vatican when their plane went down.
Tragically.
Now get upstairs and into a bath like your Aunt Hilda says.
- [squeaks.]
- [water splashing.]
[clock ticking.]
[hand splashes.]
[bugs chirping.]
[baby crying nearby.]
Mom? Dad? Wait! [echoing.]
[baby fussing.]
Mom? Dad? Are you coming? To my baptism? I've taken your names, I hope that's all right.
[babies crying.]
- [gasps and pants.]
- [heartbeat rhythm.]
[clock ticking loudly.]
[ticking slows.]
["I Put A Spell On You" playing.]
I put a spell on you This isn't like you, cousin, using witchcraft to settle personal vendettas.
These are desperate times, Ambrose.
Now remember, I don't want to kill Principal Hawthorne, I just need to give him a good scare.
Ms.
Wardwell told me he's terrified of spiders.
Oh, that's easy, then.
It's lucky that Aunt Hilda keeps them as her familiars.
[lid clicks.]
Are you sure you don't want to kill him? Because we could do that.
Nope.
I just need him to take a day or two off from school.
Right.
Well, we'll only mildly traumatize him, then.
Spider, O Spider, pray why do you spin your pretty white web so fine and so thin? To catch fat flies and make them into pies.
Spider, O spider, pray, do you not see? Here comes a big, buzzing, blundering bee.
He'll spoil your fine net while you fume and you fret, but no mercy you grant, and no mercy you'll get.
[static hisses on TV.]
[sniffs.]
[spiders stridulating.]
[grunts.]
[shouts.]
[screaming.]
[screaming continues, echoes.]
[sighs.]
[inhales sharply, exhales.]
[wind whistles.]
[Sabrina.]
Oh, no.
What now? [sighs.]
[window grinds.]
[rasping male voice.]
Sabrina.
Who Who are you? Show yourself.
[rasping whisper.]
I heard you calling in the woods.
[gasps.]
And I came.
[meows.]
Aw! - [meows.]
- [Sabrina chuckles.]
- [cat purring.]
- [chuckles.]
Such a pretty kitty.
What's your name? [Zelda.]
I don't understand you, niece.
You'd rather a feral familiar than one bred for service? Salem doesn't serve me, Aunt Zee.
We're in a partnership.
He'll protect me, I'll protect him.
Drink up, darling.
I put a bit of cinnamon in it this time.
And why did you name him Salem of all things? I didn't.
He named himself Salem.
At least you have your familiar now.
And you're purifying yourself.
Yeah, you're almost ready for your baptism.
About that.
So, I'm in the middle of getting this club started at school.
Club? What kind of club? Women protecting women.
You know, sort of like a coven.
Anyway, I was wondering if we could maybe, possibly postpone my baptism a little bit.
- Postpone it? - Oh, dear.
[Zelda.]
Sabrina, you cannot postpone your 16th birthday, especially not when it falls on the eclipsing of a blood moon which only occurs once every 66 years.
If it's just about a club, dear It's not, Aunt Hilda.
There's also the Harvey of it all.
We very recently took things to the next level.
He hasn't defiled you, has he? Witch law forbids novitiates from being anything less than virginal.
- [Ambrose.]
Oh, wow.
- Aunt Zelda.
Not that it's anyone's business, but no.
[aunts.]
Praise Satan.
[Sabrina.]
However, now that you bring it up, I admit, I have reservations about saving myself for the Dark Lord.
Why does he get to decide what I do with my body? Because it is witch law.
Covenant.
Okay, but why? And if you don't know, maybe I can talk to someone before my baptism, someone who can help me understand these things so I can make an educated choice.
Choice? It is our sacred duty and honor to serve the Dark Lord.
The extraordinary, delicious gifts he bestows on us in return for signing his book.
- And you, you would deny him that? - It's my name, Aunt Zelda.
We all signed the book, and proudly, I might add.
This is your mother's influence.
[Hilda.]
Zelda, calm down.
Your blood pressure.
[Zelda.]
This is your fault too.
We should've home-schooled her, as is our custom.
Sabrina, do you not want to join the Church of Night as a full member? I think so, I just don't know why I have to give up everything in my life that's human to do it.
Witch law.
The Path of Night or the Path of Light.
[together.]
But not both.
And yet, my father, a warlock, married my mother, and she was human.
Yes, and it very nearly got Edward excommunicated.
[slams chair.]
Which begs the question, why would I want to join an organization that would do that to anyone I cared about? Because it's what they wanted for you.
Isn't that right, Hilda? Didn't Edward and Diana both say so? Yeah, they they did, lamb.
Many times.
You are a Daughter of the Church of Night.
Your father was a High Priest.
You will be baptized under a blood moon, as we were, as all the Spellmans before you were, as your children will be.
And that, niece, is final.
[Zelda slams door.]
Let me ask you, that spell we cast on Hawthorne last night, you enjoyed that? From the glint in your eye, you loved it.
Yes.
Of course.
You realize that your gifts, that euphoria fade to nothing if you aren't baptized.
I know.
I just need to be sure.
In that case, you need to get your hands on a malum malus.
- What's a malum malus? - It depends on who's translating.
If it's a man, it's the apple of evil.
If it's a woman, it's the fruit of knowledge.
What do you do with it? It's an apple, Sabrina, you bite it.
[exhales.]
And it whispers secrets to you.
Grants you knowledge.
Sometimes it might show you a glimpse of the future.
"Should you walk the Path of Night or the Path of Light?" The malum malus might illuminate one path over another.
- Is that interesting to you? - Yes, I'm interested.
Go to an orchard, find the oldest tree.
It'll have one.
The older the tree, the more it's seen, the more it knows, the more accurate its reading of the future will be.
Groovy.
[Ambrose.]
And make sure there are no worms in it.
[meows.]
[crow cawing.]
[Wardwell.]
A malum malus? And what, Stolas, if the malum shows the half-breed something that dissuades her from her baptism? Our Dark Lord wouldn't like that, would he? [caws.]
Hi, Mrs.
Meeks.
Rosalind and I were wondering, is Principal Hawthorne in yet? Um Principal Hawthorne won't be coming in today.
He's had a shock.
Shoot.
Rosalind and I have a club proposal we were hoping to get approved today.
In Mr.
Hawthorne's absence, Assistant Principal Glover would, I suppose be empowered to review such applications.
[whispers.]
Hawthorne has never been sick a day in his life.
What did you do, stick pins in a voodoo doll? [upbeat rock song playing.]
[Sabrina squeals.]
- Yes! - Tonight Susie! Come on! We need help! Okay.
Tonight [Susie.]
You guys, you aren't doing all this just for me, are you? For all of us.
Fifty-three percent of Baxter High is female, Susie.
The school needs a club like this.
It's long overdue, girl.
But, yes, if anyone messes with you again, you'll have a recognized, legitimate sisterhood backing you up.
- And the name, WICCA? - Rosalind came up with it.
The Woman's Intersectional Cultural and Creative Association: WICCA.
- [girls chuckle.]
- [phone rings.]
[Sabrina and Rosalind.]
Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! [chuckling.]
[Roz.]
And the more girls who join, the harder we'll be to silence.
[woman.]
That call was for you, Sabrina.
Ms.
Wardwell has asked to see you in her office.
[Salem purrs.]
[Wardwell.]
Assistant Principal Glover tells me she's ratified your organization and that on the application, I was listed as faculty advisor.
- I hope that's okay, Ms.
 Wardwell.
- Happy to do it.
Especially if this club gives you the peace of mind you're so clearly craving.
It'll help.
At least on this one front.
Oh, is there Is there something else bothering you? Weighing on you? - If I can be honest with you - Oh, absolutely.
there is a possibility of me going to a different school, a private school, but I'm not 100 percent sure it's something I want.
Well, is, um Is it a good school? [Sabrina.]
One of the best.
And, complicating matters, my dad went to this school.
[laughs.]
Then why wouldn't you go? Mind you, not that I want to see my prize pupil vanishing on me.
This wouldn't be about a boy, would it? I've noticed how enamored you are with Mr.
Kinkle.
Harvey's a part of it, sure, but it's everything.
All my life is in Greendale.
It's proving difficult to untangle myself from that.
[school bell rings.]
Well, um this merits further discussion.
Why don't you and I get together after school and see if we can't untangle this Gordian knot together? I'd love that, Ms.
 Wardwell, but I have plans after school.
- Oh? - I'm going apple picking.
Ha! How fun.
Where would that be? ["Hurdy Gurdy Man" playing.]
[door opens.]
'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing songs of love Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing songs of love - [Zelda.]
It doesn't fit.
- [Hilda.]
Well, it will.
- Then we can color it in.
- [door opens.]
[Zelda.]
What's the point? I don't even know why I bother.
- There's something you should see.
- [Hilda.]
Mmm? In the embalming room.
So dramatic.
- [Zelda.]
It's a birthmark.
- Except I poked it, and [Hilda.]
Oh, that doesn't bleed.
That's a witch's mark, then.
Or it's simply that his blood started to settle in his buttocks.
But if it is a witch's mark and Connor here was murdered A witch hunter? Is that possible? Might be worth bringing up to the Council.
Yet another reason Sabrina needs to join the Church of the Night.
So she's protected.
- Witches without covens are easy pickings.
- I've been praying on that, Zelda, and I just think that if she wants to talk to someone, an outside opinion Who would you have her talk to, Hilda? The Dark Lord himself? [chuckles.]
No.
No, but I just I feel like, as close to him as reasonably possible.
- Finish the embalming.
Carefully.
- [Ambrose.]
Hmm.
We'll need every single drop of blood for Sabrina's anointment during the baptism.
Shame they decided against a closed casket.
We haven't had long pig for dinner in ages.
[soft rock song playing.]
Ooh Ooh Ooh - Ooh - Ooh - Ooh - Ooh Hey, I should probably get a pumpkin for my stoop, in case we get any trick-or-treaters.
- Your aunts don't need any more, do they? - No, Harvey.
I think they're covered.
Okay.
[kids chattering.]
[sighs.]
Nothing's ever easy, is it? [kids giggling in distance, echoing.]
[Sabrina.]
Hickery Pickery, Hickery Pickery, where shall this girl go? She'll go east, she'll go west, she'll go to the crow's nest.
Hickery Pickery, Hickery Pickery.
[caws.]
[wind whistling.]
[Sabrina.]
Wait.
- [scarecrow roars.]
- [Sabrina gasps and grunts.]
[Sabrina pants.]
[scarecrow roars.]
[shrieking roar.]
[Wardwell chuckles.]
There will be no apple picking for you, my dear.
[maniacal laugh.]
[panting.]
[roars.]
- [inhuman shriek.]
- [scarecrow roars.]
[roaring, snarling.]
[snarling continues.]
- Salem.
- [Salem meows.]
[Sabrina sighs.]
Oh, my God.
Well done.
Good boy.
Who Who sent that? Was it the weird sisters? [Salem growls.]
Okay, well, can you help me get through the maze? - To the tree? - [Salem meows.]
[panting.]
[screams, echoing.]
How will I know, Salem, which apple is the the malum malus? [Salem growls and hisses.]
[branch creaks softly.]
[Sabrina.]
Malum should I be baptized? [crunching.]
[distant voices echoing.]
[gasps.]
[distant, distorted screams.]
[tree crackles.]
[trunk thumping.]
[beast snarls.]
[growling.]
[heavy footsteps.]
[growling continues.]
[wind whistling.]
- Hey.
- [gasps.]
Pumpkins are in the truck.
Why didn't you wait for me? - [Salem meows.]
- [Harvey.]
Aw! - Who's this little guy? - [Salem purrs.]
[Sabrina.]
Um A stray.
I'm taking him home.
I never really thought of you as a cat person, but okay.
[Salem meows.]
Salem? [meows.]
Aunties? Ambrose? Can we please have a family meeting? I've made a decision about my baptism.
[Hilda.]
Sabrina.
We're in here.
- [man.]
Is this the child? - It is, Your Excellency.
[Hilda.]
This is our niece, Sabrina.
Oh, my child.
You have no idea how special you are, do you? How you've been chosen.
Sorry, do I know you? Honestly.
Forgive her, Father, she knows not what she says.
Sabrina, we are being honored tonight.
This is Faustus Blackwood.
He's High Priest of the Church of Night.
[stammers.]
Dark Lord Satan's representative on earth.
Your aunts tell me you're having doubts about your baptism.
That you may, in fact, not be signing your name in the Book of the Beast.
- Uh - No, no, no.
That cannot be.
That must not be.
So let us see what I can do to convince you.
[theme music playing.]
[man.]
Brett, move your head.