CHiPs (1977) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Attention, Hollywood Freeway units, Southbound at Vermont.
Vehicle is a black '76 Carrera.
One occupant.
L.
A.
15, Approaching four-level.
Stay in there, baby.
Don't quit me now.
That guy was possessed.
- What happened? - I don't know.
One minute, I was this close to knocking that yo-yo out of his socks.
Then he vanishes.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
Suspect just disappeared.
That pursuit is Code 4.
Notify L.
A.
P.
D.
Ten-four.
Attention all units Hey, Ponch.
Forget it.
That really kills my day, you know? There's no justice in life, Jon.
Only luck.
If that's the case, you're the luckiest guy in the world.
That stunt you pulled at the four-level, you almost closed the book.
Stunt? It was beautiful.
Come on, admit it.
That fast decel, that real tight 360, lock to lock.
Complete and total control.
Hey, Jon.
You know that "stunt," as you put it? It was sheer poetry in motion, old buddy.
You're crazy, you know that? You are.
You're crazier than that guy we were chasing.
Oh, yeah, that guy.
Well, if I ever scope that turkey again I'm gonna pull him out through his wind-wing, seat belt attached.
Hey, Jon.
Yeah, nice.
I bet he's got a Porsche in it.
Here it is again from Division Auto Theft.
They're working with area agencies to stop that sophisticated auto-theft ring that's been operating for about a week now.
This gang is very selective.
They go in for specialty items such as Porsches, Jensens, XKEs anything that smells money.
- What's a Jensen, sergeant? - Oh, jeez.
Down.
All right, take it easy.
Here's that updated Okay.
This is an update on that sports-car ring I was talking about.
And these guys are something else.
It happened again this morning.
This time they hit Century City.
Apparently, they got a couple of clever wrinkles.
One of them stakes out a garage spots a car and dummies up a parking ticket which he hands off to his partner, who turns it in 20 minutes later.
It's very neat.
They also use some of the standard tricks.
One of them took a Jensen from an outdoor parking lot.
Owner says the car was locked.
So either they have master keys or they can make them.
The $64,000 question is: How do they pull off this caper and get that many cars by us? Every time this gang strikes they hit one area and take six cars.
It's always six.
And somehow they just manage to disappear.
And that's all, except this morning.
They pressed their luck and bought a high-speed pursuit.
That APB you guys responded to, the Carrera, that was the sixth car.
But I guess he got away from you, huh, Frank? Can either of you guys add anything to the driver's sketch? No, nothing.
All right.
From now on, any sports-car stops you make I want you to check the VIN and the registration.
And be extremely aware of anything unusual: The driver doesn't fit the vehicle broken side window, punched-out ignition, anything like that.
Let's close these guys down, huh? All right.
It's all yours.
- How's it going? - I'll let you know as soon as I talk to your partner.
Hey, Frank, where you running off to? I thought I'd try and grab a quick breakfast.
I think I can save you the trouble.
The machine's all out of Ding Dongs.
So, Frank how's every little thing, huh? Anything I should know about I don't know about? It's a nice day.
Yeah.
It was also a real nice night for a certain CHP officer who was dirt-riding his CHP bike in the Cheviot Hills.
- No.
- Yes.
I got a call.
Those bikes are not supposed to be used for play.
That's right.
Now, we don't have any idea who that could be, do we? It stands to reason it wasn't we Me, sarge.
Frank, you got two more days of probation.
Don't blow it.
Harbor units, there's a spilled load, southbound at Gage.
All lanes are blocked.
Okay, you guys got it.
Gene, Baricza, tag along, huh? Sure.
How's the shoulder? You gonna be able to play tonight? Hey, that's right.
It's the finals.
Don't worry, I'd play even if I had a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna grab shots that'll make Getraer's head spin.
Oh, glue.
All right, come on.
Here's the biggie.
Who's gonna lead the children to the promised land and who's going over to chew the fat with Gabby Hayes? Howdy.
- Howdy.
You okay? - Yeah.
- We got ourselves a real doozy, ain't we? - What happened? I don't know.
One minute I was just riding along nice and easy-like and then: There's this gal in a El camino cut right in front of me.
Well, I throwed on the brakes, and the next thing I know I am doing a square dance across the freeway.
Any way to get this stuff off? Well, you got me there.
I mean, I just haul it, you know? Okay, hold it up right there.
Los Angeles 15, 7 Mary 4.
We're 10-97, the tie-up at Gage.
I need Einhorn's diesel rig and one of L.
A.
's biggest tankers.
Come on, keep it going.
Pull it right on through.
That's it.
That's it.
Keep it moving.
Okay, pull them up.
Keep going.
That's it, move it on through! Hey, pull it over! What's wrong, officer? Okay, okay.
Easy.
I'll be with you in a minute.
Just park it on the shoulder.
Give me a hand here, Fritz, will you? Hey, where you guys been? - How you guys doing? - How you doing? - Boy, this glue's some mess, isn't it? - Yeah.
Well, I don't envy you guys.
What's the problem, officer? We couldn't have been speeding.
Oh, no.
The reason I stopped you is because you're leaking oil.
It's kind of dangerous to the motorists, plus the kid on the bike.
L.
A.
341 Adam 7-9-5 King, Edward, Charles.
795 King, Edward, Charles.
Oh, gee.
Can I see your driver's license, please? Thank you.
Evel Knievel been on a bike long? Hey, just an accident, right? Poor fella.
Could've happened to anybody.
No.
Only to him.
Hey, your tires are a little low.
Are you carrying a full load? No, we're empty.
Well, you better get them checked, along with that leak.
The oil.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Are you from Northern California? - That's right.
Is that beautiful? - Right? - Yeah, yeah.
- My hobby's accents.
San Francisco? That's right.
You're gonna become a legend, Ponch.
So the last time, I stopped to see that cousin and she's put on some weight like you couldn't believe.
What are you doing? Writing a mechanical cite.
Oh, I see.
I'm out there running around, talking to Tex, calling for the rigs and playing court jester for the fans while you're going through the family album.
Give me that.
There you go.
Move out.
You okay? Don't you know how tired I am of hearing that question? Well, maybe you wouldn't have to hear it so much if you knew when to back off.
My brother has an expression, "Keep the tach in the black, baby.
" As usual, I shot my mouth off.
I was out of line.
Okay? Okay.
Great.
Getraer's really gonna bring the hammer down.
Nice.
Now I know why people are scared of cops.
In lieu of flowers, ask the boys to make a generous contribution to the Widows and Orphans Fund, okay? He'll just chew you out.
He won't kill you.
Oh, yeah? He wants to.
Well, if he does, I'll book him on a 187.
Sarge, the traffic's back to normal now.
That glue was some mess.
But I think we got it cleaned off everything.
What is that? - What? - That.
Yeah.
It's a mechanical I wrote.
Your new filing system, huh? How you gonna handle this? Locally? Or will it go the scenic route to Sacramento? Well, I'm gonna let you be the judge of that.
Come with me, Frank.
You too, Jon.
All right.
Let's run through our ritual once again.
Putting aside our personal relationship for just a second.
Do you have any problems with anybody else besides me? - No, just you.
- Yeah, well, what about at home? - You have any problems at home? - No.
Just you.
Would you believe somebody stole my chair? Come here, Poncherello.
Now, do you have any idea what this is? Take a wild guess.
This is your jacket.
Now, I want you to take a good, hard look and you tell me.
Do you think there's any room in here to bury another one of your accidents? Four things: I'm hot.
I'm tired.
I'm sticky.
While chasing that stolen this morning God almost spoke to me at the four-level.
So if it's all the same to you, let's take a rain check on the lecture because now I don't need it.
I don't get it.
I just don't get it.
I mean, your probation is over on Monday.
I would've thought you would've been careful.
Yeah, you would think so, wouldn't you? And it's over on Sunday.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Look I like to think that I'm a nice guy.
I know you don't agree but that's because you fall on the wrong side of my desk.
Now, maybe that would change if we could just get to the root of your problem.
Just what happens to you out there? You and Jon ride three feet apart, eight hours a day.
You respond to the same calls.
You stop the same violators.
You get into the same situations.
Yet any time anything happens, it's always your bike that comes back here looking like we ought to give it a funeral.
Why does that happen, Frank? Thanks for taking a rain check on the lecture.
If that is it, I'll change and get to work on that report.
Oh, you can leave now, Frank.
I don't want this to sound like a PR job but, I mean, if you'd take a closer look at his jacket maybe you'd find some citations and recommendations.
The guy's put some righteous criminals behind bars.
You've had to babysit him for six months.
What is it? His temper? No presence of mind? What? I don't know.
Sometimes the guy overdoes the role.
Sometimes he doesn't know when to back off.
Weird things happen.
You gotta be there.
You can't see them coming and once they're there, you can't stop him then.
Yeah, well, maybe I should have partnered him with an exorcist.
Hey, sarge.
- You won't put him in a car, will you? - I should put him behind a desk.
Chuck, how does it look? You got any spare bikes? You got some sense of humor, sarge.
Yeah.
Sometimes, with all that happens to me, I wonder if he really likes me.
Who, Getraer? No, God.
I know Getraer doesn't like me.
- Lf I was Getraer, I wouldn't like me.
- Hey, how can you say that, Ponch? Look what he just did for you.
He forgot the glue mess, didn't recommend extending your probation and he give you his very own bike.
What he gave me was a lit bomb.
If anything should happen to this bike my probation will be the least of my problems.
Hey, Ponch, I'm gonna run the plate on this Jag.
All right, baby.
California license Nora-4-Nora-6- 1-3, no wants.
Ten-four, L.
A.
Well, looks like we didn't bust the car-theft ring.
Car's clean.
So's the guy.
Just hold on.
Help is on its way.
Hit the concrete, creep.
Do it.
Now.
- You talking to me? - And expedite, L.
A.
Ten-four, 7 Mary 3.
I'm gonna tell you for the last time.
Hit the concrete.
It's John Wayne.
Okay, okay.
Ponch, go and check out the girl.
Everything's under control.
Your parents give you a name? Go and take care of the girl.
Where are you hurting? I'm fine.
- Where's the pain? - I'm all right.
I'm fine.
What's your name? - Carol Rosen.
- Carol.
Are your legs pinned, Carol? Can you move your legs? - I'm okay.
I'm fine.
- All right.
All right, Carol.
Now, I want you to put your arms around my neck, okay? I'm going to try and ease you out now.
- All right? Here.
Here we go.
- All right.
Okay, go.
Here we go.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop, it hurts.
Oh, God, they're pinned.
- Carol, everything is gonna be okay.
- My legs are pinned.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- Okay.
No, no, don't shake your head.
Just take a deep breath.
There, see? Just stay relaxed.
A rescue unit's already on the way.
And if I know them, they'll be here before I even have time to get fresh with you.
Yeah, those guys are always out to spoil my fun.
Thank you.
There.
Poncherello? Yeah, Poncherello.
But everybody calls me Ponch.
Well, almost everyone.
There.
Gotta have you looking okay for company, huh? - Motorcycle cop? - Yup.
Been with california's finest for the past two years.
Oh, yeah? You have very soft eyes.
Hey, don't spread that around, okay? It's taken me three years to build a reputation as a killer.
Listen.
You better get ready.
Company's here.
Thank you.
Hey.
What a world.
Hey, nice shot, Ponch.
Yeah, pretty lucky.
Let me ask you something, Frank.
You see all right? You ever think you might need glasses? You can ask that after the shots I've been making? Twenty-four hours left of probation.
You got no fear.
It comes from having job security.
We wouldn't be having another one of our chats if there wasn't something.
- Go ahead, pull the pin.
- Know that mechanical cite you wrote? The sticky one? Well, it came back auto carrier.
But you wrote box van.
Hang on to your stripes.
It was a box van.
- Auto carrier.
Van.
Computer says auto carrier.
Run it again.
I did.
Auto carrier.
- Good game.
- Good game, sarge.
Way to go, Ponch.
Hey, my man, Fritz.
- Good game, Fritz.
- Right on.
You ever hear of computer error? Have you seen the top drawer of my filing cabinet? Okay, all right, uncle.
Maybe I did make a mistake.
There was enough happening.
I'll be a bit more careful in the future, okay, sergeant? Thank you.
So your daddy's a judge, huh? Well, now, that's a coincidence, because I practice law too.
Really? A lawyer.
You know, I really dig lawyers.
Say, do you believe in vibrations? That some moments are destined to happen? Like now moments.
There you are.
I've been out in the garage looking for you, talking As luck would have it, I happened to meet Sherri here.
Sherri Bell, Jon Baker.
- Hi, Jon.
- Hi, how you doing? - Sherri's a stewardess.
- A stewardess? That's exciting.
Where are you coming from? Or, where you going? Well, I just got back from London.
It's really a neat town.
And tomorrow, I'm off to Bali.
I can hardly wait.
The South Seas.
That's the life.
Is it true what they say about the men down there? What's that? - Hey, are you gonna tell me? - Later.
Look, Jon.
Sherri's Bali flight leaves at midnight.
Since you'll only be in town a few hours what if we have dinner, take in a show? Hey, did Ponch tell you the time that we were out on this twe? Did Ponch tell you that we're california Highway Patrol? We were working on this 23-110 one time.
Had the reds on and everything.
That's when someone throws projectiles at you.
We were going down there with Cop.
Nice try.
Hey.
What'd I do? Oh, just stand there and let me kill you.
Really, what'd I say wrong this time? Didn't you tell her we were cops? Or did you use the old "practice the law" line? Good evening.
May I take your car? Fellas, they did it again.
Last night, six more sports cars were taken from a party in Holmby Hills.
The gang posed as parking attendants.
The real attendants were later found safe.
But the gang, three of them, were armed and are now considered to be dangerous.
So any sports-car stops you make you think may be dirty please proceed with extreme caution.
You may wanna consider backup.
Now, guys, this is in our own backyard.
So let's nail them, huh? Okay, it's all yours.
You wanna give me that plate again? Boy-Henry-4-7-7-2.
It's a Bushkin moving van.
- Thanks.
- All you want is a picture of it? Yep.
I tell you, I'm wiped out.
I was awake most of the night, tossing, turning.
Eight more hours.
What do you say, let's just have a nice, quiet Sunday? Pull it over there, would you, please? Cover me, Ponch.
Hi there.
Listen, do you have any idea how fast you were going? I don't know.
I'm only 6.
Listen, when you're coming down that hill, you gotta keep to the right, okay? Okay.
- Ponch here.
- You're not gonna believe this but your van, Boy-Henry-4-7-7-2, just passed me southbound on the San Diego.
- What's your 10-20? - Mulholland.
Bingo.
We're at Sunset.
We'll take it.
- You remember what I told you, okay? - Okay.
Hang in there.
Bye-bye.
- You want some? - Hey, I'm driving.
You're drinking.
Hey, quick, dump that.
Come on, I got a Chippie on my tail.
Quick, dump it.
Hi, officer, what seems to be the problem? May I see your license, bill of lading and registration? Yes, sir.
I have them right here.
Why didn't you stop when you saw me? And I know you saw me.
I thought you was after that Caddy.
Didn't you see? He was doing 75 easy.
- What seems to be the problem? - A Milwaukee misdemeanor, for a start.
I can tell you the brand, if you're interested.
Oh, boy.
"Oh, boy" is right.
But we'll get to that in a minute.
Now, step out.
Come here.
You stay here.
I just ran the plate and something's screwy.
Getraer's right and he's wrong.
Listen, it's all set.
All you have to do is press that button.
- Okay.
- Plate is registered to an auto carrier.
Hey, I'm ready.
But do you see an auto carrier? I don't see any auto carrier.
And now I got the proof.
Yeah, but something's screwy with this registration, Ponch.
Look here.
I'm gonna make a call.
How come the plate on the van isn't the same one listed on the registration? - BH4772.
Hey, that's not our plate.
- You sure? I've been driving this rig for two years.
Our number's RR8481.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3, copy.
Hey, Ponch.
I just had Dispatch contact Bushkin.
They don't have this plate registered to any of their vans.
You got something? Stands to reason, the guys we stopped yesterday must've put their plate on this van.
Maybe they switched them, scared we'd run the plate and find out it wasn't registered to a van.
You smell like a brewery.
Hey, what if Getraer is right for all the wrong reasons? What if that van we stopped yesterday was camouflaged? What if it really was an auto carrier? Every time this gang hits, it takes six sports cars.
Every time, six.
Just what a small car carrier could hold piggyback.
The guy I stopped, with the low tires like it had a full load, he said it was empty.
The leak wasn't coming from the engine.
It's coming from the trailer, the rear end.
Hey, I'll put out an APB.
Attention, all units.
Stand by for information on auto-theft ring.
Be on the lookout for a white tractor-trailer with the name Bushkin on the side.
Possible license, Robert-Robert-8-4-8- 1.
Any information, Division Auto Theft or this station.
Kara B-4- 12, clear.
L.
A.
15-5 is now in pursuit.
Bushkin van, northbound at Third.
Attention Harbor units, Bushkin van, northbound at Third.
Got a Chippie on my tail.
We can't outrun them.
We gotta lighten our load.
I got an idea.
Take the next off-ramp.
- Still got two motors.
- They'll have us on the freeway.
Get off the freeway.
Maybe we can lose them downtown.
You know what I'm thinking? We're on Temple.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Don't hit him! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Six months I've waited for this moment.
I feel great.
Yeah, I'm happy for you.
Yeah? Well, he isn't.
We've had some good times together.
Well, it hasn't been dull, that's for sure.
- Maybe we could partner up on occasion.
- You've gotta be kidding.
No, it's simple.
If we're together, I'll stay out of trouble.
Then I won't go back on probation.
- And if I'm not on probation - You won't be riding with me.
What do you say, sarge? Hey, Jon.
I heard what happened at the County Jail today.
If you say it fast, it won't hurt as much.
Oh, give it a rest, will you, Frank? Anyway the captain spoke to the commissioner and there'll be a commendation for both of you.
They also told me to tell you that he and I are very proud of what you did today.
I'm coming up at one minute to six months.
Wanna synchronize watches? Probation's over.
Hey, pull over! Pull it over! Your first day off probation.
Anything happen, Frank? I wrote seven cites, went to court, booked a drunk judge.
- And that's it? - And I got a haircut, see? And that's it? Let me try a name on you.
A Mrs.
Edna Gellar.
That mean anything? I knew an Ed Gellar once in high school.
Still owes me 20 bucks from prom night.
Oh, that's funny.
I think you'd remember Mrs.
Gellar.
She claims you told her to drive down an embankment today.
Hey, I can explain I gotta hand it to you, Frank.
You covered your tracks like an Apache.
I did some checking.
You ordered the tow through a payphone, not from your bike.
Mrs.
Gellar went down the embankment because she's 8 cents short of a dollar, not because I told her to.
Listen, I believe you, Frank.
The only trouble is she's related to Bill Gellar.
Does that name mean anything? I'll take a wild guess.
Captain Bill Gellar? The big muckety-muck up in Sacramento? The very same.
Now, take another wild guess.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Would you like to synchronize watches, Ponch?
Vehicle is a black '76 Carrera.
One occupant.
L.
A.
15, Approaching four-level.
Stay in there, baby.
Don't quit me now.
That guy was possessed.
- What happened? - I don't know.
One minute, I was this close to knocking that yo-yo out of his socks.
Then he vanishes.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
Suspect just disappeared.
That pursuit is Code 4.
Notify L.
A.
P.
D.
Ten-four.
Attention all units Hey, Ponch.
Forget it.
That really kills my day, you know? There's no justice in life, Jon.
Only luck.
If that's the case, you're the luckiest guy in the world.
That stunt you pulled at the four-level, you almost closed the book.
Stunt? It was beautiful.
Come on, admit it.
That fast decel, that real tight 360, lock to lock.
Complete and total control.
Hey, Jon.
You know that "stunt," as you put it? It was sheer poetry in motion, old buddy.
You're crazy, you know that? You are.
You're crazier than that guy we were chasing.
Oh, yeah, that guy.
Well, if I ever scope that turkey again I'm gonna pull him out through his wind-wing, seat belt attached.
Hey, Jon.
Yeah, nice.
I bet he's got a Porsche in it.
Here it is again from Division Auto Theft.
They're working with area agencies to stop that sophisticated auto-theft ring that's been operating for about a week now.
This gang is very selective.
They go in for specialty items such as Porsches, Jensens, XKEs anything that smells money.
- What's a Jensen, sergeant? - Oh, jeez.
Down.
All right, take it easy.
Here's that updated Okay.
This is an update on that sports-car ring I was talking about.
And these guys are something else.
It happened again this morning.
This time they hit Century City.
Apparently, they got a couple of clever wrinkles.
One of them stakes out a garage spots a car and dummies up a parking ticket which he hands off to his partner, who turns it in 20 minutes later.
It's very neat.
They also use some of the standard tricks.
One of them took a Jensen from an outdoor parking lot.
Owner says the car was locked.
So either they have master keys or they can make them.
The $64,000 question is: How do they pull off this caper and get that many cars by us? Every time this gang strikes they hit one area and take six cars.
It's always six.
And somehow they just manage to disappear.
And that's all, except this morning.
They pressed their luck and bought a high-speed pursuit.
That APB you guys responded to, the Carrera, that was the sixth car.
But I guess he got away from you, huh, Frank? Can either of you guys add anything to the driver's sketch? No, nothing.
All right.
From now on, any sports-car stops you make I want you to check the VIN and the registration.
And be extremely aware of anything unusual: The driver doesn't fit the vehicle broken side window, punched-out ignition, anything like that.
Let's close these guys down, huh? All right.
It's all yours.
- How's it going? - I'll let you know as soon as I talk to your partner.
Hey, Frank, where you running off to? I thought I'd try and grab a quick breakfast.
I think I can save you the trouble.
The machine's all out of Ding Dongs.
So, Frank how's every little thing, huh? Anything I should know about I don't know about? It's a nice day.
Yeah.
It was also a real nice night for a certain CHP officer who was dirt-riding his CHP bike in the Cheviot Hills.
- No.
- Yes.
I got a call.
Those bikes are not supposed to be used for play.
That's right.
Now, we don't have any idea who that could be, do we? It stands to reason it wasn't we Me, sarge.
Frank, you got two more days of probation.
Don't blow it.
Harbor units, there's a spilled load, southbound at Gage.
All lanes are blocked.
Okay, you guys got it.
Gene, Baricza, tag along, huh? Sure.
How's the shoulder? You gonna be able to play tonight? Hey, that's right.
It's the finals.
Don't worry, I'd play even if I had a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna grab shots that'll make Getraer's head spin.
Oh, glue.
All right, come on.
Here's the biggie.
Who's gonna lead the children to the promised land and who's going over to chew the fat with Gabby Hayes? Howdy.
- Howdy.
You okay? - Yeah.
- We got ourselves a real doozy, ain't we? - What happened? I don't know.
One minute I was just riding along nice and easy-like and then: There's this gal in a El camino cut right in front of me.
Well, I throwed on the brakes, and the next thing I know I am doing a square dance across the freeway.
Any way to get this stuff off? Well, you got me there.
I mean, I just haul it, you know? Okay, hold it up right there.
Los Angeles 15, 7 Mary 4.
We're 10-97, the tie-up at Gage.
I need Einhorn's diesel rig and one of L.
A.
's biggest tankers.
Come on, keep it going.
Pull it right on through.
That's it.
That's it.
Keep it moving.
Okay, pull them up.
Keep going.
That's it, move it on through! Hey, pull it over! What's wrong, officer? Okay, okay.
Easy.
I'll be with you in a minute.
Just park it on the shoulder.
Give me a hand here, Fritz, will you? Hey, where you guys been? - How you guys doing? - How you doing? - Boy, this glue's some mess, isn't it? - Yeah.
Well, I don't envy you guys.
What's the problem, officer? We couldn't have been speeding.
Oh, no.
The reason I stopped you is because you're leaking oil.
It's kind of dangerous to the motorists, plus the kid on the bike.
L.
A.
341 Adam 7-9-5 King, Edward, Charles.
795 King, Edward, Charles.
Oh, gee.
Can I see your driver's license, please? Thank you.
Evel Knievel been on a bike long? Hey, just an accident, right? Poor fella.
Could've happened to anybody.
No.
Only to him.
Hey, your tires are a little low.
Are you carrying a full load? No, we're empty.
Well, you better get them checked, along with that leak.
The oil.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Are you from Northern California? - That's right.
Is that beautiful? - Right? - Yeah, yeah.
- My hobby's accents.
San Francisco? That's right.
You're gonna become a legend, Ponch.
So the last time, I stopped to see that cousin and she's put on some weight like you couldn't believe.
What are you doing? Writing a mechanical cite.
Oh, I see.
I'm out there running around, talking to Tex, calling for the rigs and playing court jester for the fans while you're going through the family album.
Give me that.
There you go.
Move out.
You okay? Don't you know how tired I am of hearing that question? Well, maybe you wouldn't have to hear it so much if you knew when to back off.
My brother has an expression, "Keep the tach in the black, baby.
" As usual, I shot my mouth off.
I was out of line.
Okay? Okay.
Great.
Getraer's really gonna bring the hammer down.
Nice.
Now I know why people are scared of cops.
In lieu of flowers, ask the boys to make a generous contribution to the Widows and Orphans Fund, okay? He'll just chew you out.
He won't kill you.
Oh, yeah? He wants to.
Well, if he does, I'll book him on a 187.
Sarge, the traffic's back to normal now.
That glue was some mess.
But I think we got it cleaned off everything.
What is that? - What? - That.
Yeah.
It's a mechanical I wrote.
Your new filing system, huh? How you gonna handle this? Locally? Or will it go the scenic route to Sacramento? Well, I'm gonna let you be the judge of that.
Come with me, Frank.
You too, Jon.
All right.
Let's run through our ritual once again.
Putting aside our personal relationship for just a second.
Do you have any problems with anybody else besides me? - No, just you.
- Yeah, well, what about at home? - You have any problems at home? - No.
Just you.
Would you believe somebody stole my chair? Come here, Poncherello.
Now, do you have any idea what this is? Take a wild guess.
This is your jacket.
Now, I want you to take a good, hard look and you tell me.
Do you think there's any room in here to bury another one of your accidents? Four things: I'm hot.
I'm tired.
I'm sticky.
While chasing that stolen this morning God almost spoke to me at the four-level.
So if it's all the same to you, let's take a rain check on the lecture because now I don't need it.
I don't get it.
I just don't get it.
I mean, your probation is over on Monday.
I would've thought you would've been careful.
Yeah, you would think so, wouldn't you? And it's over on Sunday.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Look I like to think that I'm a nice guy.
I know you don't agree but that's because you fall on the wrong side of my desk.
Now, maybe that would change if we could just get to the root of your problem.
Just what happens to you out there? You and Jon ride three feet apart, eight hours a day.
You respond to the same calls.
You stop the same violators.
You get into the same situations.
Yet any time anything happens, it's always your bike that comes back here looking like we ought to give it a funeral.
Why does that happen, Frank? Thanks for taking a rain check on the lecture.
If that is it, I'll change and get to work on that report.
Oh, you can leave now, Frank.
I don't want this to sound like a PR job but, I mean, if you'd take a closer look at his jacket maybe you'd find some citations and recommendations.
The guy's put some righteous criminals behind bars.
You've had to babysit him for six months.
What is it? His temper? No presence of mind? What? I don't know.
Sometimes the guy overdoes the role.
Sometimes he doesn't know when to back off.
Weird things happen.
You gotta be there.
You can't see them coming and once they're there, you can't stop him then.
Yeah, well, maybe I should have partnered him with an exorcist.
Hey, sarge.
- You won't put him in a car, will you? - I should put him behind a desk.
Chuck, how does it look? You got any spare bikes? You got some sense of humor, sarge.
Yeah.
Sometimes, with all that happens to me, I wonder if he really likes me.
Who, Getraer? No, God.
I know Getraer doesn't like me.
- Lf I was Getraer, I wouldn't like me.
- Hey, how can you say that, Ponch? Look what he just did for you.
He forgot the glue mess, didn't recommend extending your probation and he give you his very own bike.
What he gave me was a lit bomb.
If anything should happen to this bike my probation will be the least of my problems.
Hey, Ponch, I'm gonna run the plate on this Jag.
All right, baby.
California license Nora-4-Nora-6- 1-3, no wants.
Ten-four, L.
A.
Well, looks like we didn't bust the car-theft ring.
Car's clean.
So's the guy.
Just hold on.
Help is on its way.
Hit the concrete, creep.
Do it.
Now.
- You talking to me? - And expedite, L.
A.
Ten-four, 7 Mary 3.
I'm gonna tell you for the last time.
Hit the concrete.
It's John Wayne.
Okay, okay.
Ponch, go and check out the girl.
Everything's under control.
Your parents give you a name? Go and take care of the girl.
Where are you hurting? I'm fine.
- Where's the pain? - I'm all right.
I'm fine.
What's your name? - Carol Rosen.
- Carol.
Are your legs pinned, Carol? Can you move your legs? - I'm okay.
I'm fine.
- All right.
All right, Carol.
Now, I want you to put your arms around my neck, okay? I'm going to try and ease you out now.
- All right? Here.
Here we go.
- All right.
Okay, go.
Here we go.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop, it hurts.
Oh, God, they're pinned.
- Carol, everything is gonna be okay.
- My legs are pinned.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- Okay.
No, no, don't shake your head.
Just take a deep breath.
There, see? Just stay relaxed.
A rescue unit's already on the way.
And if I know them, they'll be here before I even have time to get fresh with you.
Yeah, those guys are always out to spoil my fun.
Thank you.
There.
Poncherello? Yeah, Poncherello.
But everybody calls me Ponch.
Well, almost everyone.
There.
Gotta have you looking okay for company, huh? - Motorcycle cop? - Yup.
Been with california's finest for the past two years.
Oh, yeah? You have very soft eyes.
Hey, don't spread that around, okay? It's taken me three years to build a reputation as a killer.
Listen.
You better get ready.
Company's here.
Thank you.
Hey.
What a world.
Hey, nice shot, Ponch.
Yeah, pretty lucky.
Let me ask you something, Frank.
You see all right? You ever think you might need glasses? You can ask that after the shots I've been making? Twenty-four hours left of probation.
You got no fear.
It comes from having job security.
We wouldn't be having another one of our chats if there wasn't something.
- Go ahead, pull the pin.
- Know that mechanical cite you wrote? The sticky one? Well, it came back auto carrier.
But you wrote box van.
Hang on to your stripes.
It was a box van.
- Auto carrier.
Van.
Computer says auto carrier.
Run it again.
I did.
Auto carrier.
- Good game.
- Good game, sarge.
Way to go, Ponch.
Hey, my man, Fritz.
- Good game, Fritz.
- Right on.
You ever hear of computer error? Have you seen the top drawer of my filing cabinet? Okay, all right, uncle.
Maybe I did make a mistake.
There was enough happening.
I'll be a bit more careful in the future, okay, sergeant? Thank you.
So your daddy's a judge, huh? Well, now, that's a coincidence, because I practice law too.
Really? A lawyer.
You know, I really dig lawyers.
Say, do you believe in vibrations? That some moments are destined to happen? Like now moments.
There you are.
I've been out in the garage looking for you, talking As luck would have it, I happened to meet Sherri here.
Sherri Bell, Jon Baker.
- Hi, Jon.
- Hi, how you doing? - Sherri's a stewardess.
- A stewardess? That's exciting.
Where are you coming from? Or, where you going? Well, I just got back from London.
It's really a neat town.
And tomorrow, I'm off to Bali.
I can hardly wait.
The South Seas.
That's the life.
Is it true what they say about the men down there? What's that? - Hey, are you gonna tell me? - Later.
Look, Jon.
Sherri's Bali flight leaves at midnight.
Since you'll only be in town a few hours what if we have dinner, take in a show? Hey, did Ponch tell you the time that we were out on this twe? Did Ponch tell you that we're california Highway Patrol? We were working on this 23-110 one time.
Had the reds on and everything.
That's when someone throws projectiles at you.
We were going down there with Cop.
Nice try.
Hey.
What'd I do? Oh, just stand there and let me kill you.
Really, what'd I say wrong this time? Didn't you tell her we were cops? Or did you use the old "practice the law" line? Good evening.
May I take your car? Fellas, they did it again.
Last night, six more sports cars were taken from a party in Holmby Hills.
The gang posed as parking attendants.
The real attendants were later found safe.
But the gang, three of them, were armed and are now considered to be dangerous.
So any sports-car stops you make you think may be dirty please proceed with extreme caution.
You may wanna consider backup.
Now, guys, this is in our own backyard.
So let's nail them, huh? Okay, it's all yours.
You wanna give me that plate again? Boy-Henry-4-7-7-2.
It's a Bushkin moving van.
- Thanks.
- All you want is a picture of it? Yep.
I tell you, I'm wiped out.
I was awake most of the night, tossing, turning.
Eight more hours.
What do you say, let's just have a nice, quiet Sunday? Pull it over there, would you, please? Cover me, Ponch.
Hi there.
Listen, do you have any idea how fast you were going? I don't know.
I'm only 6.
Listen, when you're coming down that hill, you gotta keep to the right, okay? Okay.
- Ponch here.
- You're not gonna believe this but your van, Boy-Henry-4-7-7-2, just passed me southbound on the San Diego.
- What's your 10-20? - Mulholland.
Bingo.
We're at Sunset.
We'll take it.
- You remember what I told you, okay? - Okay.
Hang in there.
Bye-bye.
- You want some? - Hey, I'm driving.
You're drinking.
Hey, quick, dump that.
Come on, I got a Chippie on my tail.
Quick, dump it.
Hi, officer, what seems to be the problem? May I see your license, bill of lading and registration? Yes, sir.
I have them right here.
Why didn't you stop when you saw me? And I know you saw me.
I thought you was after that Caddy.
Didn't you see? He was doing 75 easy.
- What seems to be the problem? - A Milwaukee misdemeanor, for a start.
I can tell you the brand, if you're interested.
Oh, boy.
"Oh, boy" is right.
But we'll get to that in a minute.
Now, step out.
Come here.
You stay here.
I just ran the plate and something's screwy.
Getraer's right and he's wrong.
Listen, it's all set.
All you have to do is press that button.
- Okay.
- Plate is registered to an auto carrier.
Hey, I'm ready.
But do you see an auto carrier? I don't see any auto carrier.
And now I got the proof.
Yeah, but something's screwy with this registration, Ponch.
Look here.
I'm gonna make a call.
How come the plate on the van isn't the same one listed on the registration? - BH4772.
Hey, that's not our plate.
- You sure? I've been driving this rig for two years.
Our number's RR8481.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3, copy.
Hey, Ponch.
I just had Dispatch contact Bushkin.
They don't have this plate registered to any of their vans.
You got something? Stands to reason, the guys we stopped yesterday must've put their plate on this van.
Maybe they switched them, scared we'd run the plate and find out it wasn't registered to a van.
You smell like a brewery.
Hey, what if Getraer is right for all the wrong reasons? What if that van we stopped yesterday was camouflaged? What if it really was an auto carrier? Every time this gang hits, it takes six sports cars.
Every time, six.
Just what a small car carrier could hold piggyback.
The guy I stopped, with the low tires like it had a full load, he said it was empty.
The leak wasn't coming from the engine.
It's coming from the trailer, the rear end.
Hey, I'll put out an APB.
Attention, all units.
Stand by for information on auto-theft ring.
Be on the lookout for a white tractor-trailer with the name Bushkin on the side.
Possible license, Robert-Robert-8-4-8- 1.
Any information, Division Auto Theft or this station.
Kara B-4- 12, clear.
L.
A.
15-5 is now in pursuit.
Bushkin van, northbound at Third.
Attention Harbor units, Bushkin van, northbound at Third.
Got a Chippie on my tail.
We can't outrun them.
We gotta lighten our load.
I got an idea.
Take the next off-ramp.
- Still got two motors.
- They'll have us on the freeway.
Get off the freeway.
Maybe we can lose them downtown.
You know what I'm thinking? We're on Temple.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Don't hit him! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Six months I've waited for this moment.
I feel great.
Yeah, I'm happy for you.
Yeah? Well, he isn't.
We've had some good times together.
Well, it hasn't been dull, that's for sure.
- Maybe we could partner up on occasion.
- You've gotta be kidding.
No, it's simple.
If we're together, I'll stay out of trouble.
Then I won't go back on probation.
- And if I'm not on probation - You won't be riding with me.
What do you say, sarge? Hey, Jon.
I heard what happened at the County Jail today.
If you say it fast, it won't hurt as much.
Oh, give it a rest, will you, Frank? Anyway the captain spoke to the commissioner and there'll be a commendation for both of you.
They also told me to tell you that he and I are very proud of what you did today.
I'm coming up at one minute to six months.
Wanna synchronize watches? Probation's over.
Hey, pull over! Pull it over! Your first day off probation.
Anything happen, Frank? I wrote seven cites, went to court, booked a drunk judge.
- And that's it? - And I got a haircut, see? And that's it? Let me try a name on you.
A Mrs.
Edna Gellar.
That mean anything? I knew an Ed Gellar once in high school.
Still owes me 20 bucks from prom night.
Oh, that's funny.
I think you'd remember Mrs.
Gellar.
She claims you told her to drive down an embankment today.
Hey, I can explain I gotta hand it to you, Frank.
You covered your tracks like an Apache.
I did some checking.
You ordered the tow through a payphone, not from your bike.
Mrs.
Gellar went down the embankment because she's 8 cents short of a dollar, not because I told her to.
Listen, I believe you, Frank.
The only trouble is she's related to Bill Gellar.
Does that name mean anything? I'll take a wild guess.
Captain Bill Gellar? The big muckety-muck up in Sacramento? The very same.
Now, take another wild guess.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Would you like to synchronize watches, Ponch?