Churails (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

1
"I am a witch."
"My eyes cast black magic."
"I wander in the darkness of night."
"My aura will instil fear in you."
"Witch.
- It's my reincarnation."
"Witch.
- It's the end of your story."
'CHURAILS'
1. FIDELITY
'Once upon a time,
a lawyer, a boxer,'
'Once upon a time,
a lawyer, a boxer,'
'a wedding planner and a
murderer got together.'
'And they realised'
'that all their lives,
they'd been mannequins.'
'Mannequins'
'clothed in your honour,
for your honour.'
Your honour can go fuck
Watch your tongue, ma'am.
No, madam. Tell us the full story
From the beginning
In order.
Okay, mom.
- Here have this.
Make sure you finish it!
Dad, I'm leaving.
- Hold on.
Wait for your brother.
Come on, dad.
I'm just going to college.
And sending Munna as my
bodyguard everyday
it looks cheap.
And I'm wearing a burka.
So, what's the problem?
'On one hand, my dad's sandal.'
It looks cheap? Shameless girl!
Want to tarnish my reputation!
- 'Size 11.'
'On the other hand,
this 11 year old bull!'
'Munna by name,
my brother by relation.'
Dad, do you know what sis
does after college?
'And by profession'
'my bodyguard and blackmailer.'
Dad, sis attends tuition after
college and works really hard.
That's why she comes home late.
Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib
was a prominent poet
of the subcontinent.
Ghalib lost his parents
at a very young age.
He was raised by his uncle,
Mirza Nasrullah Baig.
But when he was 8,
even his uncle passed away.
Nawab Ahmed Baksh Khan had
fixed an allowance
for Ghalib's family
with the British.
Oh my God!
Zubaida!
'The witch that lives inside me'
Zubaida, don't do this!
'Has always been slightly
out of control.'
'And why wouldn't she be?'
'Girl. Poor.'
'And if that wasn't enough,
they named me Zubaida.'
'Of all the names in the world'
'Zubaida!'
Oh my! Dongle 420!
Oh wow!
Six pack. Oh God!
"Those were the days;
We would count coins!"
"We'd smoke cigarettes"
"We didn't have a care in
the world"
"I teach everyone a lesson,
I'll bury them!"
"I am like the crocodile
in a cat fight"
"I indulge in hanky panky,
don't be so sentimental!"
'Here, Zubaida would tear into
the poor punching bag'
'And on the other side
of the bridge'
Stop! Sameer!
Okay, come on, Sameer.
Here, sweetie.
I don't want, mommy.
Breakfast
Breakfast is the most important
meal of the day.
Morning, guys.
Morning.
- Hey there, buddy. How you doing?
Morning!
- Dad, stop! Dad.
Hey, sweetheart. How you doing?
What you up to?
Morning.
- Morning.
We need to do something
about the garden.
Oh, I'm on it.
I have shortlisted five gardeners.
They'll be here for an
interview tomorrow.
But please Jamil,
be nice to who we hire.
If they work properly.
Grace!
Grace!
Can you take this please? Thank you.
Listen,
do you want anything from New York?
Barneys? Bergdorf?
You fly tonight!
I didn't put it in my calendar.
I'll pack your navy blue pinstripe
and tangerine tie, yeah?
You know I love you.
- Of course I do.
Ew! Yucky, daddy.
You're yucky!
Hey! Don't do that. Stop!
- You guys!
Please. - Stop, the lot of you!
Stop it, right now.
Leave it, Jamil.
- Now.
This is our home.
It's not a pigsty
where dirty, filthy
- Please.
And you!
You're supposed to lead by example.
Kiddos, you know I love you.
But we've to be the best
versions of ourselves.
Right?
"Keep flying, without a care"
Sameer, behave yourself.
- Mila!
Mila, he's pulling off my glasses.
What's going on? Enough!
Chocolate.
Mummy, you always say
that we can't have chocolate
in the morning. - Well
Mummies get a free pass sometimes.
You're supposed to lead by example.
When you pop three monkeys
out of your tummy
then we'll talk.
Mummy.
- But I'm a boy.
I can't.
- Yes, dear?
Akbar told me
that babies don't come
out of mummy's tummy.
You push them from the
We cannot suspend a child
on that basis alone
Mrs Khan.
- Last week
told Amal that a boy's 'nony'
is called a penis.
I mean, we didn't know it was
called a penis up until
Times are changing, Mrs. Khan!
We actually encourage parents
to use the correct biological
terminology with the children.
This is highly inappropriate.
Please. I need you to bring Akbar
and his hippie parents in
so we can have a meeting. - This
is no legal matter, Mrs. Khan.
And even if it was
it's not like you're a practising
lawyer anymore.
Go home. Relax.
Take up knitting.
It can be very therapeutic.
'Asking a full time mother,
who left her career for her kids'
'to take up knitting, is wrong.'
I'm so sorry. I'm really so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
- Crazy bitch!
So we've Amal's piano
lessons on Monday
Salaar's karate,
and Sameer's English tuition.
Thank God they don't press charges,
or suspend children.
IN TAGALOG Control your rage or
it'll control you. - Yes, yes.
Putting aside your perfectly
nice family
Was this your idea or
somebody else's?
Boss, when you do this heavy
duty work yourself
something tingles inside me.
- Shut your mouth, Dilbar.
These? What are these?
I said purple dendrobiums
with green carnations.
I even sent the pictures
from Pinterest.
What flowers are these?
Hydrangeas.
- What?
Jugnu, madam!
Crap.
Imported from Singapore.
We got a great deal.
I'm only getting married once.
Lifetime marriage.
I don't want cheap deals.
I want something meaningful.
Mummy, say something!
My baby wants soul!
Aunty
Hydrangeas ooze soul.
Carnations represent weakness.
You want your lifetime marriage
to be strong, don't you?
Obviously! - Then why would you
on the very first day
I mean, it's okay, I can um
Have carnations delivered
in two hours.
It's not a big deal.
- No, this is fine.
Sure? Because I could fill this
place up with carnations.
We want hydrangeas. Right, mummy?
Yes, sure.
- Yeah, we're fine.
Okay, great then.
Go get your Sabya on.
Fucking soul.
Yes boys, what's the scene?
"The boy is a bit offbeat"
"But he is very sweet with
girls."
"He is insolent, and a fraud,
this tweet has gone viral."
"But you are a sharp knife,
good at making fools"
"We have made preparations
for your wedding."
"Everyone is dancing, and
rejoicing together"
"Everyone is dancing, and
rejoicing together"
"Live it up!"
Boss
Congratulations.
After this one,
we complete our hundred events.
We should celebrate
Golden, silver jubilee type.
We hit a hundred.
Feels like yesterday we were
having our first wedding!
"He is insolent, and a fraud;
This tweet has gone viral."
"But you are a sharp knife,
good at making fools"
Don't put your mouth to it.
"Everyone is dancing, and
rejoicing together"
'Fucking hydrangeas.'
'Five years ago,
I'd an eighty percent share'
'of Karachi's wedding market.'
'Then I got so distracted
by my marital issues'
'that the gays in this city took
over most of my business.'
'And whatever little
was left of it'
'I dropped a chandelier
on it myself.'
How do the January bookings
look like?
We've the Jofas right after
Christmas. - And?
Durranis confirmed for January? No?
Yes, I was about to inform you.
I called them for the advance
but they've decided to
go with Ro and Ho.
Ro and Ho!
Ro and bloody
I hate them.
- Yep.
Fucked by fairies.
Story of my life.
Jugnu,
the finances aren't looking good.
Fight stand! One, two
Three, four, five
Six, seven, eight
Nine, ten, eleven
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen
Fifteen, sixteen.
- Upper cut, baby! Upper cut!
Oh, thank you.
Didn't they've those
you know,
the chocolatey flakey things?
Okay, never mind!
He can do better, right?
I mean, I know he's my son.
And he's just seven,
but check out his forearm block.
You can do better!
Salaar, I know you can do better.
He can do better.
Only if I was a bloody gay man.
All my money worries
would be sorted.
You know,
everything is going so smoothly.
Which is great.
But I have so much time on my hands.
Jamil is never home.
So I was thinking
that I should start practising
law again.
I had to fire everyone.
I'll have to leave the club too.
But I'll miss being all this.
I'm so resourceful.
And I can multi-task. I should.
Break the board, Salaar!
Come on!
I should just move to Islamabad.
Start afresh.
I should talk to Jamil.
Yes, I should tell him
that I want to do something new.
I want to achieve something
new in life.
Break the damn wood, Salaar!
He's done better. He's done better.
Jamil is crazy about you, okay?
Talk to him, he will understand.
And you go do you.
Find yourself that courtroom,
and do
'Objection, Your Honour, and'
'Ooh, milord!'
We don't do, 'Ooh, milord'.
- Really, sweetie?
I think that is the real issue then.
Listen, Islamabad is for
socially awkward freaks.
And you're Queen Jugnu, man.
If you killed ten people at
the wedding, almost
They didn't really die!
People will get over it.
Don't worry about it.
You are right.
I am the Queen.
Jugnu Chaudhary is the Queen
of this whole damn jungle.
This shit isn't working!
Come on, baby!
You can do it, honey!
So your friend was after money
What were you after?
I love those earrings on you.
- Thanks.
You got them.
- I know.
That's why I love them.
I was Thank you for entertaining
Shanwari at the party today.
Due to your irresistible charm,
he'll now invest in my campaign.
You're the perfect wife.
'Perfect wife.'
'Fuck you, perfect wife.'
After this campaign stuff is done
let's go on a holiday. You and me?
We'll leave the kids with mummy.
Capri?
I was thinking,
I should start working again.
Work?
What do you mean work?
You've not worked in years.
Yes, that is why
I was just being anxious.
- Are you unhappy?
No, of course I'm happy, silly.
I'm just happy anxious!
If it's because of that principal
then the bitch totally deserved it.
Plus we're in the clear,
so there's nothing to worry about.
It's not that.
What is it then? I am here.
Yes, you are.
But I don't think I'm fully here.
I mean, it's just an idea.
But it'll be nice, using my skills
to excel in something else.
Push my boundaries.
Push your boundaries as what?
Who'll hire you?
You know what I mean.
I am a qualified lawyer.
Yes, but you're
You're rusty.
And family law, is it even law?
Work in an NGO
Part-time. You know, baby steps.
Yeah, you're right.
Part time NGO sounds good.
'This is what it boils down to.'
'Soft. Mouldable.'
'Colourful.'
'Shape us as you deem fit.'
And to make the lives of these elite
types even more colourful
you jumped right in.
As if we didn't have
enough thieves and junkies
in the building
Now even murderers are going
be our neighbours!
They should have hung her.
Bloody witch!
'This little devil
was spying on us.'
'Looks like he's an informant
for the police.'
'We have to get out of here.'
'And before going,'
'we'll need to get rid of him.'
'Make sure they don't escape.'
'I was all set to end things'
'But right then'
'My fucking caseworker
made her entry.'
She lives alone.
No husband or children.
You won't have much work to do.
It's very hot,
may I get a glass of water?
'Who doesn't love a second chance?'
'Fate, boss.'
'Fate.'
"Surrounded in smoke, where are
you off to?"
"No one is listening to you"
I'm Batool. You needed a maid?
"Am I thinking, or have
I lost it?"
"Dawn in darkness;
What are you saying?"
"If you are crazy.?"
I can't iron clothes.
Cut some amount from my pay.
It's fine.
There is that bag over there.
I took some old clothes out for you,
take them.
No need.
You hired someone like me,
that's more than enough.
Someone like you comes cheap.
Cut the amount from my pay.
How does it feel
To be free?
You thought I was free?
There are vacant rooms in the house.
If you want, you can stay here.
I'll think about it.
Alright, think about it.
Good night.
Bitch.
"I manage to read
your eyes."
"I steal everyday, and
sing songs."
"Sometimes I just throw
my heart away"
"I bathe in tears"
"I flow like the wind at night."
"We'll have to fool mother
today"
Did you have sex with her?
Speak!
- No, sir. I
I respect her a lot. I wouldn't
- You respect her?
That's why you sent her naked
pictures on Tinder, motherfucker!
Not naked, sir.
Topless.
This is their doing.
It was all their plan!
Come here!
Hey!
You keep this
for your safety.
If I say something
I don't know what you'll
think of me.
What will I think?
You're lovely.
You'll always stay lovely.
You can tell me anything.
I want to be a boxer.
Boxer? Like Muhammad Ali?
- Yes.
When those gloves are on my hands
and I'm throwing punches
I have never felt more alive.
Even I do something that
make me feel alive.
I hack accounts
Over the Internet. Online.
I crack people's passwords and I
browse their internet history
Sorry, I
I know this is not right.
Why do you do it?
Honestly, I'm damn good at it.
But also,
because it gives me meaning.
It feels good connecting to
these random strangers.
But I never misuse
their information.
I just use what I know of
them to say things
that will make their
pain a little less.
Wow, biceps!
You turned out to be even
more messed up than me.
If I offended you
- No.
You didn't.
Close your eyes.
- Hmm?
Close your eyes!
Imagine my face
Swollen.
Maybe a tooth missing
Wounded
Will you still find me lovely?
Yes, absolutely.
Awesome.
'Ninja.'
'Witch.'
'First rule of boxing.'
One, two.
'Never underestimate your opponent.'
You slut!
- What are you doing?
You've shown your true colours!
Show it. - Let me go, dad.
No.
- Let it go!
Dad, don't.
Let go.
Showing your worth.
'I spent my week's tuition money
to pay for new gloves.'
'My brother missed out on his bribe'
'and took revenge.'
What is this?
Where are you going?
Come here!
Where are you taking the phone?
Give it to me.
Give it to me!
- Dad.
Dad, give me my phone!
- Let it go! Let go!
What's in it?
Dad, my phone.
- What's the password?
Give the password!
- Come on!
Give it!
"Send all pictures to printer."
Munna! Come here.
Explain this to me.
This monkey it's being shy.
And this is aubergine.
- Aubergine?
And these eyes that are staring
and these sweat beads.
Sis is trying to say that
she's very shy
but looking at his aubergine
is making her sweat.
What nonsense are you talking!
- Oh God!
Check the photo gallery. You'll
understand everything. - You dog!
What is it?
- You whore!
'Second rule of boxing.'
'Find a way to keep breathing.'
Go to hell!
- Take this!
Get lost!
'Who knew'
'that the murderous witch,
would be my guardian angel.'
'As mothers we often encourage
our sons to create the world.'
'But never wonder'
'how our daughters will
survive in that world.'
Hi.
"You, who stay awake
at nights"
"Why do you hesitate to
let us fall asleep?"
"Whenever we come in
front of you"
"We are not djinns."
Looks like we're having a party.
From Larkana to LA
75 women got dirty
messages from him.
Huh
- Seventy five!
And in the last three months
20 girls sent him their pictures.
Nudes?
- Some.
That means one third
of my entire life
has been a complete lie?
That's like 33 percent
- Why are you doing so much math?
What?
- Your kids are not a lie!
They're beautiful and you love them.
Salaar and Sameer will probably
grow up to be like Jamil.
Cheating rascals!
And Amal will turn out like me.
She won't even know what's happening
right under her nose.
Honey, you're grieving.
You need to mourn.
Moan? Why should I moan?
Mourn, not moan.
But you could moan too,
if that's what you want.
I don't want to mourn. I want
Do you remember Sabeeka?
Her husband was caught cheating
last month. - Oh, that.
Humaira, Zulekha
Annie, Aliya
That's like five names in the
last - No more maths.
All the wives brush it
under the carpet.
All pretending to be
happily married.
So many men, and no punishment?
There should be some kind
of payback. - Payback?
Yeah! Like a compensation.
'Sorry, wifey.
My penis lost its way home'
'and I owe you for the
rest of my life.'
First of all,
any man who is cheating
will never admit to it.
- Unless we catch him red-handed.
How will we do that?
What's the plan?
Will we follow them with binoculars?
What?!
That's it!
That's what we'll do.
For fuck sake! You've gone nuts.
You need to stop.
This is the hash talking, not you.
No, no, this is me talking.
The me inside me is talking!
Let's do it.
Let's grab these men by the balls.
I love ball grabbing.
But, honey, you're not serious.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
Did you like it?
Yeah.
Hold it.
But, I
- Go for it.
Go for it. Come on, come on!
Yes! Go, go!
Yes!
Brilliant.
Yay!
Are you having fun?
- Yeah!
Is everything alright, ma'am?
Yes, all good. You go.
I need some water for Zubaida.
Shall I mop?
Who is this Zubaida?
And what is she doing in my house?
Her father beat her up.
Had to bring her here.
So
- See this is what I'm saying!
Sometimes fathers,
sometimes husbands!
You need to stop talking this
moment. - Who are you?
Who's she? - My maid. I told you!
She just got released from prison.
What were you in for?
- Murder.
Whose?
There was a bastard who needed
to be taught a lesson.
Go from here.
- See!
This is what I'm saying!
- You need to stop saying that.
Should I mop? - No man,
I don't want anything mopped! Go!
What's wrong with you?
Can we trust them?
With what?
One has killed, and the other
one was about to get killed.
Exactly.
Aren't they just so perfect?
Enough, Sara.
You need to stop smoking this, okay.
What?
Wha Sa What the
Sara!
Were you all high?
That wasn't it.
After a long time
I finally had clarity
about everything.
If a crime isn't illegal per se,
is it not a crime?
Does it not require justice?
If you suspect that your husband
is cheating on you
and you want proof, you call us.
Pay us according to your means
and leave the entire
investigation to us.
Investigation?
Count me in, ma'am.
You hold it, Phoolan!
And you have gone mad.
The grief has driven you mad!
Listen, I am talking big money here.
This could be an end to all
your financial troubles.
Give me the joint.
You think desperate housewives
of Karachi
will spend money on this?
They spend money on Botox,
lawn and jewellery!
But now they'll spend it on this.
When we give them concrete proof
of their spouse's infidelities.
Trust me.
Bigger divorce settlements
mean more lawn,
more Botox, more jewellery!
And with what we earn from these
cases, we can help
the more vulnerable women.
Those who get harassed and
abused on a daily basis.
No one thinks about them.
Not even the police but we will!
- But for this
you need money
computers for spying
cameras,
where will all of that come from?
We'll figure that out too.
All figured out!
Larkana to LA!
No.
- Yes, yes, yes baby!
No.
- If we're going to do this
we've to do it whole-heartedly.
Okay?
You will have to go to your husband.
I don't want to involve him.
I don't want him to know all this.
He's not going to know anything!
Because Miss Innocent
will turn naughty
by opening up a 'niqaab' shop.
That's a 'burka', sweetie.
Whatever,
keep up with the programme.
Yeah?
'Either fate had brought us together
under one roof for a reason'
What? - 'Or it was that magical
spliff in our hands.'
Whatever.
- 'But that was the moment'
'when we transformed into
some other creatures.'
'Churails' (Witches)?
Yes!
Good morning!
- Morning, darling.
Where are the kids?
I sent them out with Mila.
I was telling the boys last night
that my wife makes the best
What
Listen to me, babe.
Oh no.
You listen, babe.
You'll stay in this house,
but will move to the guest room.
And the empty commercial building,
that's in your name
You'll hand that to me.
From that building,
I'll start my business
that you'll also fund for me.
What kind of business?
Jugnu and I will open a boutique.
In return, you can run your
campaign peacefully.
For the world, you'll stay my
husband. I, your perfect wife.
Who provides wholesome clothing
to other perfect wives.
Are you seriously going to
blackmail your husband?
It's tasty! Have it!
How can we trust him?
Trust takes time, boss.
But
Phone.
This is my
How?
You won't find a hacker
as good as me.
He's mine. He won't break our trust.
Boss.
Not my place to say, but
What if this creates a ruckus?
We'll only be helping women, Dilbar.
How will that create trouble?
Where are the arms?
Oh, this with the summer stuff
Here.
'Perhaps we were fooling ourselves.'
- Have a good day, okay?
Run along.
- 'But those early days'
'It was the happiest any of us
had been in a long time.'
"What am I doing?"
"I slept off on the shores?"
"What is the fear about?"
"I've been to the graves!"
And you didn't see the danger
that was coming your way?
Someone died because of you, madam.
And now,
someone from your group is missing.
Kidnapped on your watch!
"What am I doing?"
"I slept off on the shores."
"Why am I scared?"
"I have been to graves."
"The stars have spoken."
"One more!"
"What am I doing?"
"The sceneries have seen!"
"What am I doing?"
"The graves have seen."
"The stars have spoken.
more!"