Clone (2008) s01e01 Episode Script
Alive
1 - There's a lot of them today.
- I'll get you through quickly, boss.
- Customer, 1 o'clock.
- Excuse me, sir.
Can you help? - You were saying? - But that's a Twix! No, it's just some little kid.
Old woman, right on our tail.
Pardon me, I have a question.
- That was close.
- Tell me about it.
Why do people take my "Happy To Help" badge so literally? Morning, Doctor.
Ian.
Ready to make history? - Well, today - The General arrive at 0900.
The Americans are sending a Two Star as well.
Sounds like they might want us to oversee a sister program in Washington.
Intrigued? - Certainly, do they have? - You speak too slowly.
Always have.
As military liaison in charge of this project, I wanted to tell you from the bottom of my heart - don't screw it up.
Thank you, Colonel.
As always, your support is undercut at the end - by a vague threat.
- Damn it, man, I believe in you.
Until it is no longer in my best interests, and then, dot dot dot.
That was really vague.
This is so thrilling.
I can't believe I'm going to be witness to the greatest scientific breakthrough since - Well, since - The cure for cancer? But there is no cure for cancer.
Wait, what's your security clearance? - Level two.
- Then no, there is no cure for cancer.
But if there was, my achievement would make it seem about as important as the invention of the seedless grape.
Gentlemen.
And lady.
Lady? Yes.
Oh, good.
Good morning.
And welcome to the future of our military.
Imagine a world that will never again lose another human life in battle.
No more lost sons or daughters.
No political fallout when a soldier dies.
Think about it, lady and gentlemen.
Think about.
I'll give you a moment.
Now without further ado, I give you the project leader, Dr Victor Blenkinsop.
Cloning is easy.
There, I said it.
Accelerating the growth rate of the clone was a bit more complicated, but that's something I cracked early on.
No, the real focus of this project has always been memory.
Specifically to extract the memories of our finest soldiers and transferring them to an endless series of clones.
I've spent the past 17 years of my life working towards this goal, and it's not my intention to be overly dramatic but, lights please.
On the sixth day, God created man.
On the 24th October 2008, I perfected him.
I perfected him.
Genetically enhanced.
Disease resistant.
Pitiless.
Ruthless.
Fearless.
I give you, Soldier 2.
0.
Good heavens! That's amazing.
Quite remarkable.
Please! I must ask you to stop murmuring.
Hello there.
Hello there.
Murmuring! Now, I want you to walk towards me and salute your superior officer.
Soldier.
- Get up off the floor.
- OK.
There, there.
I'm sorry, we appear to have had a bit of a hiccup.
But, hey, I never said cloning was easy.
You did, a few moments ago.
Apparently I did say cloning was easy.
Just a moment ago, in fact.
Doctor, we paid £300 million for this.
Is there anything it can do? - Well - Look what I can make! I think this might be a good time to point out the complimentary coffee and pastries.
Perhaps not.
100% DNA match to the donor.
And according to the neural scan, the memory implants are fully uploaded.
But they seem only partially utilised.
I'm making noise! I'm making noise! I'm making nooooooise! 17 years.
Three marriages.
Clearly the shame implant isn't working either.
I need to know about your memory implants.
Do you remember anything? - Yes.
- Good.
What do you remember? I remember you asking me what I remember.
Are you all right, Doctor? Yes, Ian.
As scientists, we must accept our failures with objectivity and complete emotional detachment.
You bloody bastard! How could you do this to me? I'll kill you.
I'll kill you! You're not making things better.
Oh, fine.
I'm sorry.
Stop crying now.
Oh, God.
It'll It'll be all right.
Let's be friends forever and go the park and always share.
Perhaps his mind is like a Polaroid.
What? Well, he didn't even know how to walk before.
Now he does.
Maybe the memories just need time to resolve themselves.
Like a Polaroid picture needs time to develop.
Do you know, that's not completely idiotic.
Hey, it's the guy from this morning.
- Colonel.
We're just in the midst of - Applying for a new job? No, actually, we've just run every test known to man.
- Have you performed an autopsy? - Autopsy? He's still alive.
For now.
But if I were him, I wouldn't make dinner plans.
- You've got to give me more time.
- You just don't get it, do you? - My career is on the line.
- What about MY career? Your career is over.
It's ancient history.
Like a dial-up internet connection or pubic hair in porn.
Do you need a hug? Don't touch me.
That makes me want to touch you more.
Don't! I'll just stand extremely close to you then.
I've got a Special Forces team outside to collect him.
You have five minutes to get him ready.
I can't let them take him.
I'll be ruined.
- But there's nothing you can do.
- I've got to get him out of here.
I'm not gonna go down in history as the creator of Britain's most expensive idiot.
We're half a kilometre below street level in a locked room.
With armed soldiers guarding the door.
It's impossible.
I don't suppose you've got any ideas? A That don't involve hugging? Oh, then no.
Go get him.
What? Shouldn't we call for additional back-up? I mean, this guy is some sort of prototype super weapon, isn't he? - How do you know that? - Grapevine.
My God, for a super-secret government agency, we are incredibly gossipy.
Go get him and bring him back to the base in Sussex.
Look, he's practically naked, for God's sake.
How dangerous can he be? - Come on, we've got to get out of here.
- Everything is so big! But why are those people so much smaller than these people? Because they're further away.
Come on.
Hi! How are you? Hi, can I touch you? 17 years.
Three marriages.
- Why do you keep saying that? - Come here.
Yes? Look, we're in serious trouble.
They are hunting us.
What is that? Music.
You need to understand, we're in a very dangerous situation.
For some reason, it feels good to move my body when I hear these sounds.
If the Government finds us, they're going to kill you.
Do you understand? I don't wanna die! I've only been alive for four hours! Oh, stop it.
Stop it.
You're making me uncomfortable.
There, there.
I'm not going to let them hurt you.
How and why did I come to be? I created you.
You're my father? Are you my mother? Wait, are you God? 'We turn our attention to Palestine.
'Richard, this whole Palestinian war has turned into a farce.
' 'Well, I don't believe you can really say that 'I watched the news the other day 'Excuse me! Excuse me, no! No!' I'm hungry.
Here, take my emergency Twix.
What is it? It's chocolate.
People eat them.
Chocolate is good, isn't it? Good? This tastes better than music.
You've got to try this! - I'm not hungry.
- Come on.
Just a little.
- No, I want you to.
Just smell it.
- I don't want it.
You've got to learn to listen! - Shouldn't your hands be on the circle? - What? - God.
Nice work! - Really? I thought you'd be angry.
Look.
We're going to have to teach you the meaning of sarc So, what is "sarc"? Please, just stop spea What a lovely walk.
Oh, God, I feel like my heart's going to burst.
I feel the same way about you, Dad.
For the first time in my whole 31 hours of life, I feel like I belong.
Get away from me! I need you to act normal.
All right? I'm trying.
Hey, look at my belly button.
- You don't have a belly button.
- I know.
I drew one on to help me fit in.
Don't show that to anyone.
Remember, we are tourists.
- Just here to see the sights.
- Got it.
Oh, now I miss being on the run.
Remember that time we crashed? Why are you not answering? Do you not remember? There was the circle, and the "Arghhhhh!" Ladies and gentlemen, I've had some complaints that last orders always come as a bit of a surprise.
So, I'm trying out a new system.
Seven hours till last orders! Right, lesson one of many.
The pub is the nerve centre of the community.
And, as such, it is the perfect place to inquire about accommodation.
- Got it.
- Really? Now, you stay here.
I'll get us some drinks.
And remember.
Normal.
Hiya.
Having a good day? No, not at all.
Just a normal day.
You live here, do you? No.
Remember, we are tourists.
Just here to see the sights.
You get lost, did ya? What is this sound we're making? - I don't know you.
- Victor Oh, Jesus.
Victor O'Jesus.
Irish Catholic background.
Rose Bourne.
I don't shake hands.
What can I get you, Victor O'Jesus? Two pints of Guinness, please, and some information.
My, um and I are tourists.
Just here to see the sights.
And we're looking for somewhere to stay.
- Oh.
This looks like chocolate.
- It's better than chocolate.
What do I do with it? The nicest hotel is Nisbet House.
- Oh, and how much is that a night? - £120.
What if I wanted something more in the "and £20" range? This is not better than chocolate, Dad.
But that part was fun.
Eh, oh, ats uts a bite waa sneh fazan, eh? Sorry, what? Look, look, look.
Ew trew woo karl eezee fish and chip snay cokka.
Look.
Is there some kind of a special rate for renting a room above a fish and chip shop? Look, look, look.
Prinny kall saul fist 20 quid fer at artz poppa.
Swinah vert flang.
Ah.
You have a terrific sense of humour, Tony.
I love a good play on words.
Amusing observation, humorous story with a surprise ending, whatever that was.
But what I'm trying to say is, we're on a limited budget, is there any kind of "Wow, it stinks" - discount you can offer us? - Naw, es magin foo.
Right, well, here's 20 for the first night.
Oh, if ye wanna wee bit swally Absolutely, thank you! Right, here's the plan.
We hide out here until I can fix you.
What's wrong with me? Three things.
Everything you've done.
Everything you're going to do.
And whatever the hell is going on with your ears.
Now.
Entertain yourself.
I've got work to do.
Dad, where are you? Where did everything go? That is the light switch.
Flick it back the other way.
Wow, you're back.
And so is the room.
Where did I go? Here I am! Where did I go? Here I am! - Where'd I go? - Would you please stop it?! Don't.
Wait.
The switch.
A switch is a trigger.
A trigger activates a potentiality that already exists, in this case, light.
- But in your case, memory.
- I love to watch you work.
It is a privilege, isn't it? OK, a light switch completes a circuit.
We need to find the trigger that connects your implanted memories with your conscious mind.
Now, finding the correct stimuli will take some time, and as we haven't slept in 24 hours, we need to get some rest.
Start fresh in the morning.
As a special treat, you can turn the light off one more time.
Sounds good.
What are you doing? I need to be able to see you so I can sleep.
You can lie on the couch, and see me from there.
I sleep standing up.
You can't stand there staring at me all night.
I won't be able to sleep.
Where am I? You can smoke inside?! This can go one of two ways.
One way is you tell me where the doctor and the clone are hiding.
The other way involves a significant amount of unnecessary dental work.
Look, I don't know anything.
Except, except! Victor made me switch clothes with the clone so they could escape.
But I don't know where they're hiding.
But if I find out, you will be the first mysterious Middle Eastern man to know.
- I swear on the lives of my children.
- You don't have children.
OK, it was a mistake to try and establish trust with a lie, but that's all I know.
Thanks, mate.
I think that's a new record.
Nice work, men.
Top job.
Colonel, I I thought I was in Syria.
Sussex, actually.
In fact Are you smoking inside? We just use them for realism, sir.
Typically, a Middle Eastern torturer would be chain smoking.
That's a stereotype.
And passive smoking kills, Sergeant.
For all you know, I could be pregnant.
I don't want to hear your prepositions or your excuses.
Get out! You're fired from the army! Get out! The rest of you are all dead-certs for commendations.
Unless it slips my mind, or you displease me in some tiny way.
It may be that your killer instinct is buried deep within your unconscious.
And only a legitimate threat would activate that instinct.
So, if someone were to suddenly punch you in the face, you would block that punch! - That really hurt! - You're beginning to frustrate me.
I know.
I can sort of tell.
- I think we need a hug break, Dad.
- You are not my son, OK? You're not even human.
You don't care about me? All I care about is fixing my mistake, getting my career back so I can swing by Stockholm, pick up my Nobel Prize and be rid of you! Don't be such a big baby.
Come on, get up.
We've got work to do.
People get angry, OK, it's no big deal.
Besides, you're not even a person, don't be so emotional.
Swear word! Wait! Oh, wait.
Come back! Now I know how half a giraffe runs.
Come back! Oh, morning, Rose.
Could I have a coffee, please? Coffee, please, Rose? I know I'm tired, but I'm reasonably sure I'm saying these things out loud.
- Could I have a coffee, please?! - You're an arse.
And you're in a dead-end job in the middle of nowhere.
- You wanna keep going? - What kind of a father are you? Wait, have you seen my son? He told me what you said.
Where is he? I've been up all night looking for him.
It shouldn't be a surprise if he ran off.
You called him a mistake.
You met him.
He is a mistake.
Oh, don't gasp.
I ordered coffee, not judgment.
Look, where is my idiot son? My God.
You're a worse father than mine was.
- I'm certainly a thirstier one.
- What's all the noise? People are trying to get some sleep around here.
- Oh, hello.
- Wait, wait.
- You will come with me right now.
- He's not going anywhere with you.
He doesn't need to depend on an abusive father any more.
- He works here now.
- What? That's right.
Can I get you something, sir? Perhaps some "Mean Juice"? How dare you treat him like crap just because he's different? He doesn't want any Mean Juice.
Anything else I can do? Glasses need cleaning.
Rose, I can see how, to the casual observer, I might seem a bit Of a tit? I was going to say "strict", but sure.
Hiya, Rose.
I misplaced my calculator and we're doing the monthly books.
- Can you help me out? - Sure.
I just need 18,517 times 76.
7,425 divided by 13.
And I need a pounds-to-dollars conversion on £3,268 at a rate of 2.
0373.
1,407,292.
571.
15384615385.
And 6,697.
8564.
Probably just round that up.
Rose, that was odd.
Are you a bit, um? Excuse me? I'm just wondering, could you give me some advice about my son, because I don't always know how to treat him.
Or where he is.
Look, when you're a bit different, it's always harder.
I was teased as a kid because I could do weird stuff in my head.
And it hurt.
Well, people shouldn't treat you badly because you're different.
So if you get that about me, why don't you get that about your son? It's weird to be a genius and not have an answer for something.
Oh, I'm a genius.
You're certainly weird.
Rose Rose, you're right.
I shouldn't have said those things.
He's not a mistake.
# Me and my dad together, badoom ba-ppssh! Me and my dad forever! Ppssh! I made up a song about how much I love you.
My, how it rocks.
Look, why don't I meet you back at the flat, hmm? - Son? - OK Dad.
It's me.
Don't worry.
They need 34 seconds to trace the call.
I may have found a solution.
Oh, that's great news.
But look, I've had a rough time back here, they snapped my That'll be great for your autobiography.
Listen.
I've met a woman.
A highly functional savant.
She could be like a scientific Rosetta Stone.
She could be the key to unlocking the memory implants.
All I need All I need is a little bit of her brain.
- I'll get you through quickly, boss.
- Customer, 1 o'clock.
- Excuse me, sir.
Can you help? - You were saying? - But that's a Twix! No, it's just some little kid.
Old woman, right on our tail.
Pardon me, I have a question.
- That was close.
- Tell me about it.
Why do people take my "Happy To Help" badge so literally? Morning, Doctor.
Ian.
Ready to make history? - Well, today - The General arrive at 0900.
The Americans are sending a Two Star as well.
Sounds like they might want us to oversee a sister program in Washington.
Intrigued? - Certainly, do they have? - You speak too slowly.
Always have.
As military liaison in charge of this project, I wanted to tell you from the bottom of my heart - don't screw it up.
Thank you, Colonel.
As always, your support is undercut at the end - by a vague threat.
- Damn it, man, I believe in you.
Until it is no longer in my best interests, and then, dot dot dot.
That was really vague.
This is so thrilling.
I can't believe I'm going to be witness to the greatest scientific breakthrough since - Well, since - The cure for cancer? But there is no cure for cancer.
Wait, what's your security clearance? - Level two.
- Then no, there is no cure for cancer.
But if there was, my achievement would make it seem about as important as the invention of the seedless grape.
Gentlemen.
And lady.
Lady? Yes.
Oh, good.
Good morning.
And welcome to the future of our military.
Imagine a world that will never again lose another human life in battle.
No more lost sons or daughters.
No political fallout when a soldier dies.
Think about it, lady and gentlemen.
Think about.
I'll give you a moment.
Now without further ado, I give you the project leader, Dr Victor Blenkinsop.
Cloning is easy.
There, I said it.
Accelerating the growth rate of the clone was a bit more complicated, but that's something I cracked early on.
No, the real focus of this project has always been memory.
Specifically to extract the memories of our finest soldiers and transferring them to an endless series of clones.
I've spent the past 17 years of my life working towards this goal, and it's not my intention to be overly dramatic but, lights please.
On the sixth day, God created man.
On the 24th October 2008, I perfected him.
I perfected him.
Genetically enhanced.
Disease resistant.
Pitiless.
Ruthless.
Fearless.
I give you, Soldier 2.
0.
Good heavens! That's amazing.
Quite remarkable.
Please! I must ask you to stop murmuring.
Hello there.
Hello there.
Murmuring! Now, I want you to walk towards me and salute your superior officer.
Soldier.
- Get up off the floor.
- OK.
There, there.
I'm sorry, we appear to have had a bit of a hiccup.
But, hey, I never said cloning was easy.
You did, a few moments ago.
Apparently I did say cloning was easy.
Just a moment ago, in fact.
Doctor, we paid £300 million for this.
Is there anything it can do? - Well - Look what I can make! I think this might be a good time to point out the complimentary coffee and pastries.
Perhaps not.
100% DNA match to the donor.
And according to the neural scan, the memory implants are fully uploaded.
But they seem only partially utilised.
I'm making noise! I'm making noise! I'm making nooooooise! 17 years.
Three marriages.
Clearly the shame implant isn't working either.
I need to know about your memory implants.
Do you remember anything? - Yes.
- Good.
What do you remember? I remember you asking me what I remember.
Are you all right, Doctor? Yes, Ian.
As scientists, we must accept our failures with objectivity and complete emotional detachment.
You bloody bastard! How could you do this to me? I'll kill you.
I'll kill you! You're not making things better.
Oh, fine.
I'm sorry.
Stop crying now.
Oh, God.
It'll It'll be all right.
Let's be friends forever and go the park and always share.
Perhaps his mind is like a Polaroid.
What? Well, he didn't even know how to walk before.
Now he does.
Maybe the memories just need time to resolve themselves.
Like a Polaroid picture needs time to develop.
Do you know, that's not completely idiotic.
Hey, it's the guy from this morning.
- Colonel.
We're just in the midst of - Applying for a new job? No, actually, we've just run every test known to man.
- Have you performed an autopsy? - Autopsy? He's still alive.
For now.
But if I were him, I wouldn't make dinner plans.
- You've got to give me more time.
- You just don't get it, do you? - My career is on the line.
- What about MY career? Your career is over.
It's ancient history.
Like a dial-up internet connection or pubic hair in porn.
Do you need a hug? Don't touch me.
That makes me want to touch you more.
Don't! I'll just stand extremely close to you then.
I've got a Special Forces team outside to collect him.
You have five minutes to get him ready.
I can't let them take him.
I'll be ruined.
- But there's nothing you can do.
- I've got to get him out of here.
I'm not gonna go down in history as the creator of Britain's most expensive idiot.
We're half a kilometre below street level in a locked room.
With armed soldiers guarding the door.
It's impossible.
I don't suppose you've got any ideas? A That don't involve hugging? Oh, then no.
Go get him.
What? Shouldn't we call for additional back-up? I mean, this guy is some sort of prototype super weapon, isn't he? - How do you know that? - Grapevine.
My God, for a super-secret government agency, we are incredibly gossipy.
Go get him and bring him back to the base in Sussex.
Look, he's practically naked, for God's sake.
How dangerous can he be? - Come on, we've got to get out of here.
- Everything is so big! But why are those people so much smaller than these people? Because they're further away.
Come on.
Hi! How are you? Hi, can I touch you? 17 years.
Three marriages.
- Why do you keep saying that? - Come here.
Yes? Look, we're in serious trouble.
They are hunting us.
What is that? Music.
You need to understand, we're in a very dangerous situation.
For some reason, it feels good to move my body when I hear these sounds.
If the Government finds us, they're going to kill you.
Do you understand? I don't wanna die! I've only been alive for four hours! Oh, stop it.
Stop it.
You're making me uncomfortable.
There, there.
I'm not going to let them hurt you.
How and why did I come to be? I created you.
You're my father? Are you my mother? Wait, are you God? 'We turn our attention to Palestine.
'Richard, this whole Palestinian war has turned into a farce.
' 'Well, I don't believe you can really say that 'I watched the news the other day 'Excuse me! Excuse me, no! No!' I'm hungry.
Here, take my emergency Twix.
What is it? It's chocolate.
People eat them.
Chocolate is good, isn't it? Good? This tastes better than music.
You've got to try this! - I'm not hungry.
- Come on.
Just a little.
- No, I want you to.
Just smell it.
- I don't want it.
You've got to learn to listen! - Shouldn't your hands be on the circle? - What? - God.
Nice work! - Really? I thought you'd be angry.
Look.
We're going to have to teach you the meaning of sarc So, what is "sarc"? Please, just stop spea What a lovely walk.
Oh, God, I feel like my heart's going to burst.
I feel the same way about you, Dad.
For the first time in my whole 31 hours of life, I feel like I belong.
Get away from me! I need you to act normal.
All right? I'm trying.
Hey, look at my belly button.
- You don't have a belly button.
- I know.
I drew one on to help me fit in.
Don't show that to anyone.
Remember, we are tourists.
- Just here to see the sights.
- Got it.
Oh, now I miss being on the run.
Remember that time we crashed? Why are you not answering? Do you not remember? There was the circle, and the "Arghhhhh!" Ladies and gentlemen, I've had some complaints that last orders always come as a bit of a surprise.
So, I'm trying out a new system.
Seven hours till last orders! Right, lesson one of many.
The pub is the nerve centre of the community.
And, as such, it is the perfect place to inquire about accommodation.
- Got it.
- Really? Now, you stay here.
I'll get us some drinks.
And remember.
Normal.
Hiya.
Having a good day? No, not at all.
Just a normal day.
You live here, do you? No.
Remember, we are tourists.
Just here to see the sights.
You get lost, did ya? What is this sound we're making? - I don't know you.
- Victor Oh, Jesus.
Victor O'Jesus.
Irish Catholic background.
Rose Bourne.
I don't shake hands.
What can I get you, Victor O'Jesus? Two pints of Guinness, please, and some information.
My, um and I are tourists.
Just here to see the sights.
And we're looking for somewhere to stay.
- Oh.
This looks like chocolate.
- It's better than chocolate.
What do I do with it? The nicest hotel is Nisbet House.
- Oh, and how much is that a night? - £120.
What if I wanted something more in the "and £20" range? This is not better than chocolate, Dad.
But that part was fun.
Eh, oh, ats uts a bite waa sneh fazan, eh? Sorry, what? Look, look, look.
Ew trew woo karl eezee fish and chip snay cokka.
Look.
Is there some kind of a special rate for renting a room above a fish and chip shop? Look, look, look.
Prinny kall saul fist 20 quid fer at artz poppa.
Swinah vert flang.
Ah.
You have a terrific sense of humour, Tony.
I love a good play on words.
Amusing observation, humorous story with a surprise ending, whatever that was.
But what I'm trying to say is, we're on a limited budget, is there any kind of "Wow, it stinks" - discount you can offer us? - Naw, es magin foo.
Right, well, here's 20 for the first night.
Oh, if ye wanna wee bit swally Absolutely, thank you! Right, here's the plan.
We hide out here until I can fix you.
What's wrong with me? Three things.
Everything you've done.
Everything you're going to do.
And whatever the hell is going on with your ears.
Now.
Entertain yourself.
I've got work to do.
Dad, where are you? Where did everything go? That is the light switch.
Flick it back the other way.
Wow, you're back.
And so is the room.
Where did I go? Here I am! Where did I go? Here I am! - Where'd I go? - Would you please stop it?! Don't.
Wait.
The switch.
A switch is a trigger.
A trigger activates a potentiality that already exists, in this case, light.
- But in your case, memory.
- I love to watch you work.
It is a privilege, isn't it? OK, a light switch completes a circuit.
We need to find the trigger that connects your implanted memories with your conscious mind.
Now, finding the correct stimuli will take some time, and as we haven't slept in 24 hours, we need to get some rest.
Start fresh in the morning.
As a special treat, you can turn the light off one more time.
Sounds good.
What are you doing? I need to be able to see you so I can sleep.
You can lie on the couch, and see me from there.
I sleep standing up.
You can't stand there staring at me all night.
I won't be able to sleep.
Where am I? You can smoke inside?! This can go one of two ways.
One way is you tell me where the doctor and the clone are hiding.
The other way involves a significant amount of unnecessary dental work.
Look, I don't know anything.
Except, except! Victor made me switch clothes with the clone so they could escape.
But I don't know where they're hiding.
But if I find out, you will be the first mysterious Middle Eastern man to know.
- I swear on the lives of my children.
- You don't have children.
OK, it was a mistake to try and establish trust with a lie, but that's all I know.
Thanks, mate.
I think that's a new record.
Nice work, men.
Top job.
Colonel, I I thought I was in Syria.
Sussex, actually.
In fact Are you smoking inside? We just use them for realism, sir.
Typically, a Middle Eastern torturer would be chain smoking.
That's a stereotype.
And passive smoking kills, Sergeant.
For all you know, I could be pregnant.
I don't want to hear your prepositions or your excuses.
Get out! You're fired from the army! Get out! The rest of you are all dead-certs for commendations.
Unless it slips my mind, or you displease me in some tiny way.
It may be that your killer instinct is buried deep within your unconscious.
And only a legitimate threat would activate that instinct.
So, if someone were to suddenly punch you in the face, you would block that punch! - That really hurt! - You're beginning to frustrate me.
I know.
I can sort of tell.
- I think we need a hug break, Dad.
- You are not my son, OK? You're not even human.
You don't care about me? All I care about is fixing my mistake, getting my career back so I can swing by Stockholm, pick up my Nobel Prize and be rid of you! Don't be such a big baby.
Come on, get up.
We've got work to do.
People get angry, OK, it's no big deal.
Besides, you're not even a person, don't be so emotional.
Swear word! Wait! Oh, wait.
Come back! Now I know how half a giraffe runs.
Come back! Oh, morning, Rose.
Could I have a coffee, please? Coffee, please, Rose? I know I'm tired, but I'm reasonably sure I'm saying these things out loud.
- Could I have a coffee, please?! - You're an arse.
And you're in a dead-end job in the middle of nowhere.
- You wanna keep going? - What kind of a father are you? Wait, have you seen my son? He told me what you said.
Where is he? I've been up all night looking for him.
It shouldn't be a surprise if he ran off.
You called him a mistake.
You met him.
He is a mistake.
Oh, don't gasp.
I ordered coffee, not judgment.
Look, where is my idiot son? My God.
You're a worse father than mine was.
- I'm certainly a thirstier one.
- What's all the noise? People are trying to get some sleep around here.
- Oh, hello.
- Wait, wait.
- You will come with me right now.
- He's not going anywhere with you.
He doesn't need to depend on an abusive father any more.
- He works here now.
- What? That's right.
Can I get you something, sir? Perhaps some "Mean Juice"? How dare you treat him like crap just because he's different? He doesn't want any Mean Juice.
Anything else I can do? Glasses need cleaning.
Rose, I can see how, to the casual observer, I might seem a bit Of a tit? I was going to say "strict", but sure.
Hiya, Rose.
I misplaced my calculator and we're doing the monthly books.
- Can you help me out? - Sure.
I just need 18,517 times 76.
7,425 divided by 13.
And I need a pounds-to-dollars conversion on £3,268 at a rate of 2.
0373.
1,407,292.
571.
15384615385.
And 6,697.
8564.
Probably just round that up.
Rose, that was odd.
Are you a bit, um? Excuse me? I'm just wondering, could you give me some advice about my son, because I don't always know how to treat him.
Or where he is.
Look, when you're a bit different, it's always harder.
I was teased as a kid because I could do weird stuff in my head.
And it hurt.
Well, people shouldn't treat you badly because you're different.
So if you get that about me, why don't you get that about your son? It's weird to be a genius and not have an answer for something.
Oh, I'm a genius.
You're certainly weird.
Rose Rose, you're right.
I shouldn't have said those things.
He's not a mistake.
# Me and my dad together, badoom ba-ppssh! Me and my dad forever! Ppssh! I made up a song about how much I love you.
My, how it rocks.
Look, why don't I meet you back at the flat, hmm? - Son? - OK Dad.
It's me.
Don't worry.
They need 34 seconds to trace the call.
I may have found a solution.
Oh, that's great news.
But look, I've had a rough time back here, they snapped my That'll be great for your autobiography.
Listen.
I've met a woman.
A highly functional savant.
She could be like a scientific Rosetta Stone.
She could be the key to unlocking the memory implants.
All I need All I need is a little bit of her brain.