College Romance (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Entering the college in this
will feel super awesome.
As soon as we enter,
we'll knock out all the freshers.
Right?
No!
It's extremely uncomfortable!
Trippy adjusts his boxers every five minutes.
Are you mad?
Do you want to see my butt cleavage?
Being stylish and all is fine,
but how will we rag on the kids?
There's going to be no ragging!
Ragging is a criminal offense, and you will
have to give me a --
Okay fine, introduction.
Introduction, man!
How do we get their introductions?
I'll tell you.
Dude, I want to be the stud senior,
like DJ in RDB.
It's sorted, bro!
They have to ride scooters!
Ooh, what an idea!
No way. Name and --
What? Naira, man, why do you always do social service?
Are you still in kindergarten?
You need to respect them.
You're being childish!
I have an idea. Let's drop her home.
Awesome! Awesome!
I told you, right?
They have to ride scooters.
This is awesome, man!
I'm having so much fun.
Yeah, man, you're right.
Go on, man.
It's out of fuel, dude.
I'll buy you a samosa.
Come on!
He's saying it's out of fuel.
So fill her up!
So it's out of fuel?
Doesn't he know there's a fuel reserve?
Get on it, quick!
Sit! Hold down the clutch.
Hey Shone! Come down here, man!
Sit. You have to sit like a lady,
a proper lady.
Good one, bro!
Come on, you son of a gun!
Where did Karan go?
You know what?
One has to pay Rs. 40 to get here
from the Metro in an auto-rickshaw.
You know how much I pay?
How much?
Nothing.
Do you drive the auto-rickshaw yourself?
Funny.
Sense of humor.
Move!
I ride Mohini.
My bike.
Mohini!
Meet hotties.
Hotties,
meet Mohini.
She likes you.
By the time your auto-rickshaw starts,
we'll be at the front gate of the college.
With stud company.
So
When should I pick you up?
How about 10:30 am?
So, can I have your number?
Of course.
Hey Deepika!
Go on.
Karan.
Deepika?
My car broke down last night.
I came by auto.
I'm so so--
Do you have Rs. 30?
Yes I do, baby.
Then go pay him.
What?
Karan? He's waiting.
Of course I'll go and pay him.
I'll go right away.
Quick!
Shut up!
He's my boyfriend.
Sing! Sing! Sing!
Sing!
Love me like you do!
La-la-love me like you do!
Touch me like you do!
Ta-ta-touch me like you do!
Love me like you do!
La-la-love me like you do!
Touch me like you do!
Ta-ta-touch me like you do!
Naira, I've asked around.
This is where she comes from.
Trippy, man this isn't going to work.
You're going to come off as a creep.
Did she ask you?
Look, man, I'm average.
Below average.
That's what I meant.
People like me need to
give things unasked.
Trippy!
Every junior wants just one thing.
Notes.
Trippy!
Okay, she's here. Bye!
Yeah, I'll call you back. Bye! Bye!
Trippy, listen--
My hair's on point!
Got it cut in a salon. In Lajpat Nagar.
What's this haircut, bro?
It's no good.
Go and impress the whole of Delhi first.
Only then can you say that.
Fucking dumbfuck!
What are you doing?
Did you do the assignment?
Of course! Didn't you?
Oh shit, dude! I totally forgot.
I knew it!
Now what?
Let's see.
I don't know.
It's okay, the class has been canceled anyway.
Didn't you read the book?
No.
Hello?
Yeah, dude, how are you?
Yeah?
Yeah, man.
Did your brother get notes for Micro?
Nice nail paint!
Thanks!
Where did you get it?
Can you hear me now?
Did your brother get notes for Micro?
Oh, okay!
Your brother already got extra notes for Micro?
Okay, okay!
So what am I supposed to do
with the notes that I'm holding?
Throw them?
Are you mad?
These are first year notes. They're important.
I'll get chicken, you get veg.
Oh yeah?
That's what I was saying.
Okay!
Yeah, that's what.
Are these Micro notes?
Yes, these are Micro notes.
Extra? Don't you need them anymore?
I'm in the second year, you see.
Can you please give us these notes?
Of course I can.
Hold on. They'll tear.
Thank you!
Mister Trippy.
You know my name?
Yeah!
By the way, it's just Trippy.
Mister sounds so hostile.
Let me love you.
No, Love me like you do.
Exactly!
Thank you!
I'm Raveena.
Raveena?
Raveena
Raveena
Oh, Raveena!
Hey!
Let's go eat something.
Raveena!
Her name is Raveena.
It's my favorite film, Naira!
Andaaz Apna Apna!
Her smile is so cute!
Her teeth are so small and cute, man!
I'm besotted.
She's the one I want.
I'm telling you.
And you know what?
My trick with the notes worked.
She gave me a hint.
A hint to back off?
Back in, Naira. Back in!
She
touched me!
She touched me!
Suddenly, she touched me here.
I had goosebumps all over.
What's all this dirty talk, Mister Trippy?
It's your mind that goes to dirty places.
Trippy, have you seen Powerpuff Girls?
You know how they were made?
Yeah, he chucked all this random shit into a bowl,
along with Chemical X.
Yeah, if it had been Chemical XXX instead,
he would have created you. Bloody despo!
She just used your arm for support
during a lurch.
Why didn't she use the handhold to support herself?
You tell me, is that to be used for drying armpits?
Why didn't she use the handhold to support herself?
You tell me, is that to be used for drying armpits?
Let's sit here.
Why did she touch me?
Two other girls touched you too, Trippy.
They removed their hands pretty quickly.
Hers lingered for a couple of extra seconds.
If she had lingered a couple of minutes,
would you have married her there and then?
I wish, man!
Trippy!
Raveena!
I'm sure it was not a hint.
Look, Naira,
everyone has their point of view.
You think it's a 6,
I think it's a 9.
It was a hint, I'm telling you.
You'll end up alone.
Raveeena!
In my Eight month long struggle as Deepika's boyfriend,
for the first time, I got control.
Fuck you! Learn how to drive!
Move!
We're on the wrong side of the road. Why don't
Excuse me?
Can you repeat what you just said?
Bloody idiot!
One more!
Asshole!
Baby, please play some music.
What?
Every time she played 'Shape of you',
I wanted to listen to 'Shere di Kaum Punjabi'.
And that AUX cable was like a blowjob.
I wanted it,
but Deepika wouldn't give it.
I begged.
For the AUX?
Yeah, for that too.
Bro, butter her up.
That's what I'm doing.
Today, that girl has given me a hint.
I played a Punjabi song.
She neither cussed,
nor did she threaten to leave the car.
And she--
Gave you a blowjob?
Trippy, man, I've been talking about
the AUX cable. Are you crazy?
Do both of you grow dumber together?
We are bros, man.
She's insulting us, dude.
We're not bros.
What's the hint here, Karan?
"What's the hint?"
Did you really ask me that?
That girl is changing for me.
So?
That girl is adjusting for me.
That chick sees me as part of her future!
I can't see myself as part of my own future!
I think it's time to break up.
But you said that you like her a lot.
And she's super hot, bro!
Yeah, man.
She is quite hot.
I wish I had that ass.
Same here.
I agree that she's hot, but
What about the times
I get fucked over?
She does it harder than Johnny Sins!
She's so dominating, man!
Sometimes I have so much fun--
You have fun?
She is very dominating.
It's okay for a while,
but in the long run,
my ass is going to take a beating.
Karan, did the thought ever cross your mind
that her phone battery might have been low?
Maybe she just wanted to
hear something new. What if
What if nothing happened,
and this still isn't a hint?
Naira, everyone has their own point of view.
You see a 6, I see a 9.
But that was a hint.
I'm breaking up. That's for sure.
And I'm asking her out.
I got a hint too!
Bro!
Broooo!
Great idea, guys. Great idea!
Trippy, hold this.
Where are you going?
Wait and watch.
What?
Hiii!
Hi.
Actually, I wanted to say,
I'm running short by Rs. 6.
It's okay. It doesn't matter.
Can I pay you Rs. 10 tomorrow?
Come on, Naira Madam,
there's no need for that.
Here.
Count it.
Sure, sure.
Thank you.
Here, Naira Madam.
Mouth freshener, on me.
Thank you!
No need to pay for this.
Did you guys see that?
Karan, did you see?
Mister Birju gave me a hint.
He adjusted for me.
Gave me a gift too.
Trippy, bro!
Oh God!
He touched me!
Birju
I think he's in love with me.
Who's Chemical XXX now?
Everyone has their point of view.
You see a 6, I see a 9.
Please call me when you're about to
get yourself humiliated.
I don't want it.
Dude, why would we call her
if we're going to get humiliated?
We'd rather do it alone.
But what she said is right.
Why get humiliated at all?
Bro, is it done?
You're not completely dumb.
Yes, nearly. I just have to
butter her up.
Butter her up with this just once,
then watch how she runs.
It will run faster than Cheetah.
Damn good, bro.
This bike is a cheetah,
and my bro's a fucking hunter, yo!
Dude, Trippy! Come on!
I wish you were a girl, bro!
Why?
I'd have taken you for such a ride!
Enough, bro, enough. No more.
Stop, stop, stop!
(makes moaning sounds)
You've gone full-on girl on me.
Yes, baby!
Did you get hurt?
Nope.
If we have coaching classes today,
I'll show off my bike to everyone.
How do I ask her out, bro?
We didn't really get any hints, bro.
Forget it.
What's up, dude?
MC Ma'am is wearing a red sari, again!
Ooh la la!
It's getting hot in here.
Pretty much boiling.
(singing) It's getting so hot in here!
(singing) So bloody hot!
(singing) It's getting so hot in here!
(singing) So bloody hot!
Hi, Karan.
(singing) So bloody hot!
Hot!
I'm leaving.
So fucking useless!
Oh man!
(singing) Delhi's Sardar Boys
(singing) Delhi's Sardar Boys
Hey, you! Make a Trippy special.
What's a Trippy special, Sir?
Fuck off!
You don't know what a Trippy special is?
Don't you?
Rice and beans with cold coffee. Get cooking!
Can I get you anything else?
That's all, bro.
He's a new guy, so
It's okay, man.
Is this oil or butter?
Oil, Sir.
You think the college pays us for butter?
That's the real taste, though.
True, Sir.
Trippy!
No 'Mister'.
Hi.
Hi!
Love the way you lie?
Love me like you do.
Exactly!
What are you having?
You place the order today.
What do you mean?
For both of us?
Yeah.
You mean, for you and for me?
Yup.
What if I get chhole bhature?
I'll have it. Big deal.
You like chhole bhature, right?
How much is it?
Rs. 22, Madam.
Rs. 22?
Yes.
I don't have any change.
How much is a potato puff?
Rs. 18.
Rs. 18?
Yes.
Should I pay? I've got change.
No, no, just a second.
Allow me, please.
Hold on, man.
Okay, fine!
I agree that ignorance is bliss.
But delusion is a piece of shit.
Crap.
And so are your hints.
Naira
she adjusted a second time, right?
Now you'll say,
"She probably waned to eat something new."
And she touched me for the second time.
You'll say, "She must have held you for support."
Just yesterday I gave you guys a live example.
Of what?
Just yesterday!
Do you guys think Mister Birju
is in love with me?
That he gave me a hint?
I'm sure he opens up his shop just for me,
and today he must be wearing a red shirt
and sunglasses.
He's adjusting for me, right?
Hello, Naira Madam!
Now you're getting cigarettes for free.
And tobacco-flavoured kisses.
Oh Yeah!
Go, he's calling.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Hey, hey!
Naira Madam! Don't you want a cigarette?
Naira Madam!
Assuming your hints were legit,
what do you guys plan to do about it?
I know.
Shailendra.
What?
Not him again, man.
I don't want to hear about him.
What's the problem?
He's the game-changer, man.
Other people change their own techniques,
this guy has changed the game.
But who is he?
A senior of his, from school.
Who went up to his crush, and said,
"I don't like you.
I'm not interested in you at all."
"I don't even want your number."
How rude!
Next day they were caught
making out in the washroom.
What?
Karan, that's not going to work again.
This was just an exception.
Not an exception.
It was exceptional.
Look, Trippy.
She was expecting an 'I like you'.
But my bro Shailendra surprised her.
Right?
Shock!
They dated for two long years, bro.
Zero attitude.
Zero drama.
Pure results, bro.
I'm still not convinced.
Who's trying to convince you?
Go chill with your lover Birju.
Bro!
I'm ready, bro.
I'll be Shailendra.
I'll also be Shailendra.
I'm going to tell her I like her
before I break up with her.
Need to get ready.
I;m going to wear a nice shirt.
Trippy! My bro Shailendra
dressed to disappoint, not to impress.
Zero efforts, bro.
But I'm going to impress her
before breaking up.
New shirt, new denim.
Cool canvas shoes.
Clean, smart look.
Break the beard, bro.
Let's create history
Again
Let's do this.
FYI, I'm still against this.
Why are you still here?
I'll give her so much love,
she'll break up with me herself.
Deepika!
Let's break up!
Hi Trippy!
Beautiful roses
for the beautiful girl.
Deepika
Komal told me you wanted to talk to me.
Keep them in the back.
Obviously.
That's where roses belong.
I like you.
Look
To be very honest,
I don't like you.
I've had a good time with you, Deepika.
I'm not interested in you at all.
I love you, Deepika!
And I don't want your number. At all.
At all.
I like you too, Karan.
What?
Excuse me?
Excused.
I've had a better time with you, Karan.
She's using my own tricks on me?
Are you high? What are you saying?
I love you more, Karan.
A lot.
What's she saying?
Has she gone mad?
Calm down, Karan.
Remember Shailendra.
I want to marry you, Deepika.
Sure.
Let's get married right now.
No, no, no, no, no!
I didn't come here for this.
You came here to break up with me, right?
Fine! You can go.
Deepika, this is so quick.
You were adjusting for me, Deepika.
Relax, baby.
I know that you like me.
Remember?
You gave me a hint.
You touched me here.
Remember?
I gave you a hint?
Yeah.
I touched you here?
Yep.
Here, I'm touching you again.
What sort of a hint am I giving you now?
What sort of a hint?
AUX cable?
AUX?
My phone was dead.
I probably just wanted to hear something new.
Chhole bhature?
I probably wanted to eat something new.
Why in the world would I adjust for you?
Because you think we have a future together.
Wake up!
No.
Never.
Really?
Alright.
This is not how you talk to someone.
I'm leaving.
Pervert!
Hey, wait! Shit! My phone!
This is fine.
Why don't you see a future for us?
That means I'm a bad boyfriend, doesn't it?
And you came here to break up with me!
No!
I wanted to give us some more time.
You're cute.
So let's give ourselves some more time!
I meanI want to be with you,
and I will be with you.
Here, stroke my hair.
Iweyeah
You want to make out right now?
Deepika, we're right outside college.
Right now!
Deepika, we
Right here!
I'm feeling kinda low.
Okay.
You want to go to CP to eat Chaap?
Yeah, let's.
Creamy or veggie?
Creamy.
Veggie it is.
I came out to break up,
but ended up making up instead.
Good job, Karan!
Raveena, I'm sorry!
Please just listen to me once.
No!
Please, man!
I was out of my mind,
and I didn't know what I was
doing or thinking or saying.
Naira said that I'm trying to look for hints,
and you could have used
the handle for support,
and Karan told me to be like Shailendra.
What the hell did you make me do, Karan?
You crossed all limits!
Please be my permanent partner!
Shit! Shit! Shit!
What am I saying?
Karan, you're such a fucking idiot!
Because of you, I messed up!
I should have listened to my Dad.
He told me to always tell the truth.
I messed up!
What do I do now?
I'm justI really like this girl a lot.
How will I get her?
Trippy!
Please, Sir, help
Yeah?
Relax.
Okay.
Please chill.
If you say so.
Sit.
Okay.
Shift a little.
Okay, sorry.
I can't be your permanent partner.
I knew it! Thank you.
But
Sit down.
I can be your dinner partner.
Hudson Lane at 8?
Yeah.
Hudson Lane?
Yeah, Hudson Lane.
8 pm?
8 pm.
Okay, bye.
Please stay.
Bye!
She's back!
Yes, Shailendra, my bro?
The girl insults you after that.
That's when you have to tell her
that you like her.
You're right, Mister Shailendra.
She did insult me.
But she listened to me too.
But bro, your technique doesn't work for break-ups.
It does. It absolutely does!
You must have faltered at the last minute.
You faltered?
My ass faltered.
That Shailendra is a big dumbass.
Don't call him a dumbass.
He helped me hook up.
He didn't help you hook up.
Your honesty did that.
And girls like honest boys.
Oh yeah?
Yeah!
And where are you taking her to dinner?
Oh yeah?
Yeah!
And where are you taking her to dinner?
Hudson Lane.
Oooh!
Stop it, guys!
Hudson Lane!
Dumbass!
If I become fairer, and grow my hair, and
start singing vulgar songs,
only then will you take me to Hudson Lane, won't you?
Are you crazy, man?
And this Trippy special that you eat,
I've paid for it at least 50 times.
Oh, hello!
So what, man?
I'll just take the money out of his wallet.
No, no, no! I have to take her out, dude!
Grab him!
Stop it!
I'm going to pull the money out of his ass!
Just watch me!