Coop and Cami Ask the World (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1 What's up, guys? I'm Cooper Wrather.
And I'm his co-host, Cami.
His little sister with the bigger fanbase.
Sometimes she's mean.
Anyway, welcome to the "Would You Wrather" live-stream where we use all 100,000 of you Wrather-heads to crowd-solve problems.
What's that? Why yes, Cooper.
These are new sunglasses.
Didn't ask that.
Not even a little.
"Where did I get them?" Only at the third largest retailer in town! Thanks, Gary's Optic Barn.
Se habla Español.
I love the girl, but please stop sending her free stuff in exchange for live mentions.
It's not what we're about.
He also sent you a pair.
Gary's Optic Barn! That's the name! Even though the owner's name is Roy! Gary's Gary's Gary's Optic Barn! Should I come back later? No, sorry, bud.
Let's get to today's big topic.
You guys know Fred.
Of course they know me, Coop.
I've been on your show like-- Every viewer's asking, "Who's Fred?" And to think, I wore my sexy shirt today for you people.
Fred's our neighbor and my best friend.
And he needs our help.
Tell 'em, Fred.
My parents want me to shave my head, and get a proper "school cut.
" But I don't want to, because, uh He's sensitive his ears might stick out like two giant-sized satellite dishes.
Excuse me?! Cami, don't embarrass him.
It's his egg-shaped head he's worried about.
So it's super-awesome we keep talking about it.
We'll edit this out.
We're streaming.
Anyway, Fred's parents say if he cuts his hair, then they'll buy him a drone.
I don't know what to do.
Hair? Drone? Drone? Hair? I'm not a well man.
It is a tough choice! But that's why we started this channel.
Wrather-heads, it's time for you guys to help Fred make a decision.
Would you rather have a new drone or your old hair? [keyboard clacking.]
Looks like drone has the early lead with 71%.
- [knocking at door.]
- Ollie: I'm ready! Great.
We put my little brother Ollie to the test.
He's locked in the bathroom with a pair of clippers.
Will he choose hair or drone? Ollie? [all screaming.]
Clippers broke, but who cares? I'm getting a bone! Is it dog or human? Ollie this is for a drone.
A drone?! You're gonna bring me pizza.
Looks like Cueball has swayed the vote.
91% now say, "Keep your hair.
" Speaking of hair, where do I put this? No way! I can't just tell Jay Scarpelli I like him, can I? I think you just did.
What?! Are you live-streaming me? You know I want nothing to do with your show! - [screams.]
- [thud.]
Another classic moment brought to you by Gary's Gary's Gary's Optic Barn! [theme music playing.]
Would you rather lose your phone Or give up pizza for a month Share your diary with the world Or have to eat it for your lunch Sing out of tune to your friends Or trip and fall into your crush Shave your head, paint it red Or use your dog's toothbrush We need a little Q&A Come on, Wrather-heads, play along Would you rather do this Would you rather do this Or would you rather do that Would you rather do that Don't matter what we do We're doing it with you I'd rather do that Ask the world Would you rather do this Would you rather do this Or would you rather just dance Or would you rather just dance No matter what we do We're doing it with you I'd rather do that Ask the world! Would you rather do that? I just wanna live in a house where I can walk into a room without being broadcast to thousands of people.
Oh, my morning sunshines! Guess who made you all your favorite breakfast.
You made French toast? - Omelets? - Waffles? Okay, I might have oversold it.
Congratulations! You're having oatmeal.
By the way, where's-- Ollie: Who wants hair?! - [screams.]
- [squeals.]
Ew! Look, you know I think it's great you have this fun, successful channel, but this?! Actually, it does make it easier to check for lice.
See? Everybody wins.
We're heroes if you think about it.
Look, I actually have something very important that I want to talk to you about.
You know your father used to have this expression.
"Bathroom time is private time!" Yes, that! But he also said, "If you're not moving forward, you're standing still.
" It's been two years since Dad died.
You're all growing up.
You're super busy with your own lives.
So what I've been thinking is I'm ready to start dating again.
This is where you react.
My head itches! Someone else? I think it's great, Mom.
Yeah! Me too, Mom.
Go break some hearts.
Thanks, honey.
Coop, what do you think? I think I'm gonna be late for school! Oh! Okay, well, we can discuss this later.
Later is good.
Today's a biggie.
I'm gonna ask Peyton to the Fall Ball.
Oh, right! Your gamer friend.
[music chimes.]
Hey, you Wrather-heads! Looks like [sing-song.]
Cooper has a crush on Peyton! Ha, ha.
You have a raisin in your teeth.
[scoffs.]
Cami, did you pick up those flowers I was gonna give to Peyton? Ugh! I forgot! Between school and the channel, I'm swamped! See, Mom? This is why I need an intern! You can't have an intern! If you don't leave now, you're going to miss your 8:15.
Pam, we need to talk! So, what are we gonna do about Mom? - What do you mean? - What do you mean, "What do you mean?" What do you mean, "What do you mean, 'What do you mean?'" What do you mean, "What do you--" Let's not do this anymore.
I'm talking about the whole Mom dating thing.
What?! I think dating is a great idea! It'll give her something to do besides tracking my every move.
Maybe I can finally hire Pam full-time! Dating is hard.
The mind games, the stress.
I just don't wanna see Mom get hurt.
So, what are you thinking? She said we're all busy with "our" lives.
She just needs something to keep her busy.
Yeah! Like a date.
No! Like a hobby.
I'll have the Wrather-heads come up with some ideas.
They always know what's best.
Not always.
They picked out that shirt.
Principal Walker! That is Principal Walk-- Oh, you said that.
Listen, you two.
I caught a recent episode of your show.
And you wanna take a selfie? Bring it in, big guy! Thank you, no.
You know, there was a time when kids came to their principals with their problems.
But now, because of your channel, I sit in my office with nothing to do but practice my balloon art.
[blowing air.]
[rubber squeaking.]
I don't know what that is.
Because I stink at it! Keep your show away from my school! By the way, it's a turtle.
What a weirdo! He's the worst.
So, Peyton's gonna be here any sec.
- You ready to ask her out? - You know it! I was up all night coming up with our couple name.
Peyton and Cooper.
"Pooper.
" Yep, just heard it.
I'll revisit.
There she is.
We just need to cover that pimple, and lose the unibrow.
Pimple? I don't have a-- Ow! Not anymore! Now, go make some magic.
Hey, Pooper-- Peyton! Hey, Coop.
Nice job online last night decapitating those 500 zombies.
Thanks! Nice job hiding in that log.
Yeah, I'm a terrible gamer.
Look, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Fall Ball with me.
- I'd love to! - Yes! But I can't.
Not sure what to do with my hand right now.
I'm sorry, but my dad's making me stay home to do a paper I blew off for last night's "Zombie Guts" marathon.
It's gonna be brutal.
No phone, no Internet.
- How 'bout a rain check? - Absolutely.
- She can't go.
- Aw! Was it the pimple or the unibrow? - What? - What? Fit! Fit! [groans.]
It's like these drone directions are in Chinese.
Ollie they are in Chinese.
English is on the other side.
Nope.
Doesn't help me at all.
Hey! I'm home! Time to see what hobbies the Wrather-heads came up with for Mom.
Actually, I already came up with an idea of my own.
I had Mom sign up for that dating app "Love Nugget.
" What?! Why would you do that? Because "Matching Mommy" charges a registration fee.
But what about the Wrather-heads? Are you just gonna ignore the wisdom of FartDoctor42? Clown Academy! This is what's missing from Mom's life! Cami, the site just sent me a potential match.
He's a year-round bird caller? How can this guy be single?! - [phone chimes.]
- Ooh! He just texted me.
Wants to have dinner on Saturday.
Should I do it? Of course you should! Take a chance! What could possibly go wrong? [phone chimes.]
Well, this is interesting.
I just got his picture.
Looks like I'm going on a date with your principal.
I should've listened to you, Coop! Now because of me, our mom is going on a date with Principal Walker! What if they get married? He'll move into the house.
I got secrets, man! Cami, don't beat yourself up.
Nobody here wants to play the blame game.
Even though this is entirely your fault.
[laughing.]
Find something amusing over there, Chuckles? No, ma'am.
So, Wrather-heads, we need your help to stop this.
We cannot allow our mother to date Principal Walker.
All right, suggestions are already coming in.
Abby99 writes, "Your mom wouldn't go on the date if she found a better guy.
" Teengirl16 writes, "Fred is super hot"? What a nice comment from a teen girl who is definitely real.
Wait! There! Tomcat2 says, "All moms love to help their kids.
" That's it! Mom would definitely choose helping us over dating! But her date is Saturday! That's the night of the dance.
You said, because we both didn't have dates, we would go together.
Two bachelors on the prowl.
Single and ready to mingle! Rowr! We profoundly apologize to our viewers for whatever that was.
What if Mom thought I was super bummed about not having a date to the dance? She'd look into your sad-sack eyes, and cancel on Walker to go with you! Um, even if that did work, what's to stop Walker from taking your mom out next Saturday? We'll put him on a bus to Milwaukee! One problem at a time! Let's see what our Wrather-heads think.
Here it is, guys.
Would your rather have your mom date your principal? Or take her as a date to your school dance? - [keyboard clacking.]
- [rapid beeping.]
64% say take Mom to the dance! There's our answer! Are you guys sure you don't want to rethink this one through? - Just a-- - Make way, Fred! I've got a mother to ask out.
Okay, Mom's almost back from her last showing.
So, for this to work, it needs to look like you've been crying when you ask her to the dance.
No problemo! I'll just turn on the old acting skills.
Like you did when you said you were going to the dance with me.
Yeah, you could act.
Or Agh! What is that?! It's just water.
It burns! Yeah.
Full disclosure? It's not just water.
Come on, Charlotte! I wanna play with my drone! Then you should be more careful where you fly it.
Charlotte: Press "record" and you die.
Jenna: I'm home! What a day! I hosted three open houses and-- Why is Pam mowing the lawn? [lawnmower whirring.]
Because she already snaked out the shower drain.
- [Cooper whimpers.]
- Cooper? [sniffling.]
Have you been crying? What's going on? You know that girl Peyton I've been crushing on for months? Yeah, of course.
She said she didn't wanna go to the Fall Ball with me.
Poor little guy.
I saw him get shot down.
It was like watching a puppy all alone in the rain.
Sweetie, you're 13.
There will be other girls.
But everyone else has a date to this dance.
If I show up alone, I'll look like a total loser.
Cooper, there's no shame in going to a school dance by yourself.
Heard that! But if it's really bothering you I think I have a fix.
Really, Mom? Take Cami! Um, he can't! Because I already have a date.
Fred.
What?! Yes! I always knew there was a vibe between us.
So if Cami can't go here's a crazy thought.
What's happening? Mom, would you make me the happiest boy in the world and be my date to the dance? Ohh! I sort of have plans on Saturday.
That's exactly what Peyton said.
Well, if it means that much to you, I guess I could cancel on Principal Walker.
- Yes! - Yay! Now Cooper doesn't have to go alone.
And neither does Fred! I'll see you tomorrow, sassy-pants.
[pop music playing.]
There's still time for me to sneak out if you feel embarrassed about being seen at the dance with your mom! Are you kidding? You're saving me here.
Me showing up alone would be totally humiliating.
Photographer: Big smiles! I'll grab us a couple of ciders.
Try not to miss me.
Is that the look of a guy who's in awe of my genius? This is the look of a guy in need of a shower after watching you pose in a giant heart with your mom! Well, we're all good to stream the whole thing to the Wrather-heads.
I have cameras planted everywhere.
Plus, a roving secret weapon.
Ollie: Hey, Coop! I have a camera sticking out of my head! It's me, Ollie, by the way.
Thanks, buddy.
So your little entrance seems to have reversed the vote.
What?! Gimme that! 84% now say taking Mom to the dance is beyond disturbing! PsychoTed writes, "For the first time, Fred's coming off as the cool one.
" Thank you, Theodore! Does my lady concur? Stop calling me that.
Should we, maybe, pull the plug on this? The Wrather-heads are never wrong! Well, they are this time.
Look, I know I never disagree with you guys, but come on! This is working! So it's a little uncomfortable.
Your other date just showed up.
Peyton's here! Okay.
A lot uncomfortable.
Uh-oh! I thought Peyton was a no-show! Maybe she couldn't pass up the chance to hang with me and snuck out of her house? Darn these cheek bones! Or she just finished her paper early, and her dad let her come! "Status: dance bound.
" This is bad! We're together! If Mom sees Peyton with me, she'll know we lied, and-- Run off into Principal Walker's arms? [both scream.]
I'll keep Mom away from Walker.
I'll keep Peyton distracted! I'll wait here.
Women, am I right? Hey, Mom! Ready to go bust a move? Coop, say hi to Principal Walker! After his plans freed up, he was nice enough to come help the chaperones.
Hello, Cooper.
I'm a big fan of your son's channel.
So I understand exactly what's going on.
Enjoy your evening! And Gary will switch out any color lens you want! He's that flexible.
But I didn't enter any dance raffle.
I don't deserve this.
Listen, lady, I've got a lot of balls in the air! Put these on! Coop, do you smell that? 'Cause it smells to me like it's about to get funky in here! Feel free to pace your-- Okay, wow.
Doing the leg kicks and everything.
Be right back.
Gotta hydrate.
- I got Mom.
- I got Peyton.
Who has two thumbs, mild asthma, and five years of modern dance class? [both laughing.]
So, Peyton uh, you're totally rockin' that caramel apple.
Break it up, break it up! Coop, you seem a little distracted.
Aren't you happy I came? [both laughing.]
[screaming.]
: No! I mean, yes! Sorry, when I get nervous, I yell stuff.
Here.
Let me go grab us some [shouting.]
fish sticks! See? It's a thing.
What are you doing? Why aren't you stopping this? Look at her! I haven't heard Mom laugh like that in a long time.
Which is why we should send her to clown school.
That's Principal Walker.
I don't care! This is wrong! Mom deserves to be happy! I thought we were partners.
You're supposed to have my back.
I always have your back! Not on this.
You know what? Go ahead and bail.
I'll stop her myself.
No, you won't! I won't let you.
You'd be smart to stay out of my way.
Is that a threat? Because I'll tell you exactly what I told my dentist when he tried to give me a shot.
"Only one of us is leaving this room with a full set of teeth.
" Spoiler alert! It was me! Go! Walk away! You can't stop me! I'll just find a new partner! One that I can trust! Right, Ollie? Ollie: Who are you talking to? [music ends.]
Cami: Ladies and gents, it's time for the Fall Ball spotlight dances.
First up, Cooper Wrather and his date.
[applause.]
Wait, what? - Cooper! - Peyton! - Cooper? - Mom! - Peyton? - "Mom"? Fish stick? [chuckling.]
Cooper? Talk to me.
What's going on? It's complicated.
You wanna hear my guess? "Would you rather have your mom date the principal or take her to the school dance?" You knew? Coop, you're my son.
You think I don't watch every show? I was waiting for you to come to me when you were ready.
If you're not okay with me dating Principal Walker, just say so.
I'm not okay with you dating anyone.
You wanna talk about it? I always said I started this channel 'cause it helped people think through tough choices.
But I also started it, because it distracted me from the one thing I knew there was no answer for.
I miss Dad.
I miss him, too, honey.
Every day.
Come here.
I want you to be happy, Mom.
I am happy! But there's no guidebook on this.
So we're gonna have to find our way through it together.
You know what Dad would do if he were here? [giggles.]
- That's exactly what he'd do.
- Uh-huh.
Come on! You still have a spotlight dance to do.
[sighs.]
I dunno.
Peyton seemed pretty annoyed, and I don't know if she's ready to laugh about this yet.
Hmm, you never know.
[pop music playing.]
Your mama like Thai food? Can we not talk right now? Okay.
[both giggling.]
[chuckles.]
What do you think, Wrather-heads? Have we embarrassed him enough? I think lesson learned.
I'm gonna go cut in.
Peyton! So, are we good? Oh, we're better than good.
We're "Pooper.
" You're not the only one Mom punished.
I'm no punishment.
I'm a trophy! Hey, I'm really sorry about before.
You were right and I was wrong.
Mom deserves to be happy.
So, we still partners? Always.
Pam, I'm done here! I always knew there was a vibe between us.
[music continues.]
Really? No dinner conversation? You guys couldn't go 24 hours without your phones.
Coop? You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Absolutely! Episode idea! [groans.]
Here it is, people.
Would you rather go a week without your phone or a week without your your pants! I can't show houses like this! Mom, you wanted to be on the show.
Okay, I'm sitting next to him on the bus.
My, my, my! Freddie's on quite the roll! What's happening?