Date My Dad (2017) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1 [.]
"Hi.
I'm 40.
" "How old are you, Ricky?" "Oh, I'm 40.
" "Nah, nah, Ricky can't be 40.
" "Rick is 40.
" "Macho, cool Rick.
He's 40.
" "40-year-old Rick.
" Yeah.
40 seems so old.
Totally, but Papi's in great shape.
Agreed.
A perfect 40-year-old specimen.
"I'm a professional ball player.
" Powww! Thanks, Mir.
No problem.
I hope we're doing the right thing.
I know.
We are.
Daddy needs our help.
We have our strategy, we have our talking points, and we have each other.
Let's do this.
Go, team! Oh! Buenos dÃas, chicas.
Must have been some game.
You look really overdressed for bingo, Abuela.
There was dancing! Was it The Forbidden Dance? Did you sleep at bingo, Abuela? I did.
The game ran late.
There were cots, and now I'm going upstairs to change.
Ay caramba.
[knocking.]
Feliz cumpleaños, gringo.
Ah, gracias, Rosa.
Worst accent ever.
What are you wearing? Sequins.
That's an interesting choice for 8:00 a.
m.
on a Saturday.
That's why I'm here.
I don't want it to happen again.
It's not that bad.
I mean, it's a little form-fitting, but, you know Escuchame.
Listen.
I do not want to have to do the walk of shame in front of my granddaughters if I feel like staying out late.
What are you saying? I am finding my own place.
It's time.
Oh, ho-ho-ho! Nope.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not happening.
I do not accept your resignation.
I need you.
They need you.
I can't do it without you.
You know, soon they're going to be dating and boys and more dating and make-up and prom dresses and then they're going to want to drive cars! Cars and boys! Obviously, nuh-uh.
You're not going anywhere.
Watch me.
No, this has got to be the worst birthday ever.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! Oh! Best birthday ever! Make a wish, Daddy.
[whispers.]
Don't leave.
Wishes are meant to be secret, but we're not going anywhere.
Oh, my life is over.
Don't be silly, Papi.
Well, I mean, you're old, but not that old.
Life expectancy is climbing, Daddy.
You've got plenty of time.
Oh.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Bye, all.
Oh-ho-ho Wait.
What's with the nod? It's go time.
Oh.
Daddy, we have to talk to you.
It's important.
Muy.
What up, my pretty posse? What? I can't say that? Which part? Both parts.
"What up" and "pretty posse".
Both.
Okay.
Okay, I got it.
What's going on? It's your 40th birthday and you're not getting any younger.
[whispers.]
We've seen the Rogaine.
And the last shred of dignity bites the dust.
Another no on "bites the dust".
Oh.
Daddy, we want you to be happy.
We want you to fall in love.
We also want you to get a haircut, lose the "dad jeans", and buy a blue blazer.
Wow.
Wow.
It's going to be a busy day, and, you know, I don't wear "dad jeans".
It's been three years since mom died.
You need to get out there.
I met your mom in the ninth grade.
I don't even know where "out there" is.
She was my girl.
As hard as it is to imagine, there are other girls maybe not like Mom, but there are.
Plenty of fish.
Yeah, okay, okay.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
I got it.
I hear you.
Okay.
Whoo.
Wait.
What's your take-away, Daddy? Eight-year-olds don't say "What's your take-away?" That's my take-away! Now, go deliver a TED Talk or something.
I'm going to go brush my teeth and put on my Rogaine.
I think that went well.
What? Ugh.
Gigi? I'm fairly certain these belong to you.
Why are they in here? They're at a spa retreat from their high-stress, yet fulfilling executive positions at Fortune 500 companies.
They were taking a Jacuzzi, and later, they have Pilates.
Right.
Makes perfect sense.
It's important to work hard, but they also have to relax.
Everyone's so scheduled these days, we all just need to slow down.
Of course.
Carry on.
Wow.
You see that one, Isabella? And she might be our easiest.
How am I going to raise our girls on my own? [screams.]
You don't have to.
Aah, aah, aah Can I get a witness? Wow! I'm feelin' all right Just like I should should, should Best day of my life It feels so good good, good I'd bottle up this feeling if I could Oh yeah! Focus on the ball.
Keep your head in the game.
Focus.
On the ball.
Focus! [whimpers.]
Still here.
What What What is going on? What is going on? You talk to me all the time.
Today, I answered.
No biggie.
[breathing rapidly.]
No biggie? Oh, ho-ho, Au contraire, no, it's it's an enormous b-biggie, mainly because I I'm sitting on my bathtub talking to my dead wife.
Huhu [door opens.]
Sorry.
Forgot their juice cleanser.
[exhales sharply.]
[door closes.]
Huh.
[laughs nervously.]
And early-onset dementia is upon us [exhales sharply.]
[upbeat music pulsates.]
Happy birthday, boss.
Whatever.
- Really? - I'm in a mood.
Yes, I see that.
It's very endearing.
How about a "Hey, Steph, how's school going?" Ah, I'm sorry.
How's it going, Steph? Well, since you asked, I should have my Ph.
D.
in clinical sports psychology in, oh, about eight years.
Come on, don't be dramatic.
Try four.
Has my brother come in yet? Uh, yeah.
He's in the locker room.
Could you go get him for me, please? - No.
- Excuse me? Ricky, he's in the locker room.
The men's locker room! Right, and it's Rick from now on.
Okay.
Rick.
[male voice.]
: There he is! The birthday boss! He's right there.
Sh-kk-powww! And may I just say how especially young you look this morning.
I'm going to stop you right there.
Not in the mood.
Go get my brother for me.
- Sure.
Yeah.
- Please.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
All right.
Whoo, someone's a little Snippy McSnippersons this morning, huh? - Go on.
- Yeah, I'm going to get him now.
Good.
It's official.
I've lost my mind on my 40th birthday.
Yay, me.
We need to talk.
No, I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
I can't hear my dead wife.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la! The girls are right.
It's time Time you move on.
[knocking.]
Hey.
[whispers.]
I'm having a medical thing.
Why? What's going on? Do you see that? What? I hit my head this morning.
I I feel strange.
I'm seeing things.
Maybe I have a brain tumor.
Oh, well, sure, yeah, that's it.
Calm down.
Kidding.
All right, on your feet, little brother.
Dr.
Bill is in the house.
Oh! I'm not one of your patients.
I'm not five.
Okay, okay.
All right, where'd you bang it? - What, right there? - Mm.
Ow, that hurts my neck.
Okay, uh, how many fingers? Three.
- Now? - Two.
- Now? - One.
- Now? - Four.
- Now? - Look Listen, I'm seeing things.
What kind of things? [whispers.]
Dead wife things.
Stop! S-sorry.
It's nothing.
Just I don't feel well.
Uh, okay.
Rick, um Let's talk about stress.
What's going on? Well, uh this morning, Rosa, who you know I rely on for every moment of every day, told me that she's moving out, and the girls want me to start dating, and as you also know, today is my 40th birthday, and oh, right, I use Rogaine.
Rick, you don't have a brain tumor.
You're having "a day", like Mom likes to call it.
I suggest maybe going for a run or for a swim or a steam, or maybe some Xanax.
Kidding.
Look, Jackie and I were talking about you this morning, and and 40 is a big one.
I mean, that milestone can be daunting, especially alone.
I have the girls and Rosa and you and Jackie.
That's not enough.
Look, I know life hasn't been the same for you since Isabella died, and probably will never be, and that's normal, but the thing is, there are a lot of happy memories ahead, and there will be love, in the form of a woman.
I know this, and I guess the girls do too.
Ha, ha.
Really.
I've got to tell you, and don't think I haven't thought about it, and as much as I do think about it, it always ends the same way with the same thought I can't imagine ever being as in love or happy or comfortable with a woman like I was with Isabella.
Over 20 years, my entire adult life.
Look, stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, dehydration, they can all cause hallucination, you know, the "seeing" things.
The remedy, Rick, is life.
Get out there, man, and live it.
I hate you.
I hate you too.
See you at 7:00.
What do you mean? You know about the surprise party? They throw me one every year.
It's no longer a surprise.
I don't get it.
[sighs.]
[Steph.]
: I'm telling you, you're not gonna bulk up.
[laughter.]
You just need to do cardio, and then weights.
Okay.
Thanks.
Sorry I was cranky.
I'm hoping you'll relax.
I put a shot of Cuervo in there.
Of course I didn't.
Okay, you have a client at 10:00, and then you're free to spend the rest of your birthday with your girls.
So why are you cranky? The girls want me to start dating.
Wow.
Wow! Wow! That's a lot of wows, Steph.
Mm.
Do you have a blue blazer? What is it with the blue blazer? Very versatile.
Looks good with jeans or slacks khakis too, but no pleats.
Smart girl.
I hate pleats.
Got it.
No pleats.
You think I can't date? I'm not the dating type? No, that's not it at all.
Ricky, I have worked for you for two years, and you haven't gone out on one date, at least that I've known about.
There's been no dating, and we all can't be as socially active as you, Steph.
A woman's got to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince or a guy with a job or a car.
You are a catch.
Go on.
Well, you're an ex-professional baseball player, handsome, fit, you own your own business, and you have a really nice house and you have three amazing daughters.
You're like a killer whale in a sea of plankton.
You're right.
I am a catch! Guys, look what I found on eBay.
You were marked down to $3.
99, and there are more if we want 'em, like a whole warehouse full of these things.
Way to go.
What? Oh, I Uh, Ricky! Boss, boss! No, no.
I'm sorry.
Shh.
Thank you all for coming.
You will find water bottles and fruit on the credenza.
That means dresser.
You always think I don't know things.
Did you know it? Maybe.
Back to the task at hand, please.
Look, he's never going to do this on his own.
We're going to take matters into our own hands, right here, right now.
I think we're right on target with our strategy.
We're going to need a sign-up sheet, with columns, for all of their information.
I've taken the liberty of printing some out.
[pebble hits window.]
[Boy.]
: Mirabel? Mirabel! He's at the wrong window.
You two are clearly made for one another.
Hey, Cole.
Hey, yourself.
We're doing a lemonade stand.
Come by.
Will do, beautiful.
The "will do, beautiful" is a little cheesy, don't you think? You're just jealous.
Yes, I've always wanted a boyfriend who wears the same shirt every day.
What could you possibly be doing? I'm trying to see how I look, like, upside down.
You know, to Cole, when I'm leaning out the window.
Not like Juliet on the balcony, I can tell you that much.
Who? Above your pay grade.
You know what's above your pay grade? A boyfriend.
That's what.
At least I have one.
I'm sorry, Elisa.
Lo siento.
You'll find a boyfriend, I promise.
How do you get one? A boyfriend.
It's weird.
They just come to me.
Not helping.
Boy lesson number one.
Don't be nice.
What? That's crazy.
Daddy always says the thing that attracted him to Mom was that although she was the smartest and most popular girl in ninth grade, she was also the nicest.
And you believed him? Mom was hot.
Mom was nice.
Well, I'm not.
Not with boys.
They like it when you're mean to them, ignore them, and don't care.
She may have a point.
Males of most species, except for lions and eagles, like to hunt, to chase.
They like to prove that they're Alpha.
Animal Planet.
Hello.
Okay, enough.
Task at hand, like the mini-genius said.
Task at hand.
Hey.
Hey, what's up for this afternoon? Batting practice? Can't.
We have plans.
On my birthday? We're going to have a lemonade stand.
To raise money.
For charity.
Not for any other purpose at all.
Well, I guess if it's for charity We need your help, Papi.
Will you put together the table in the rec room? Sure.
What exactly are you raising money for? Children in Sudan.
- My school.
- A new sweater for children in Sudan.
They need sweaters.
Ah.
I see, I see.
I need to go speak to your grandmother.
I'll put the table together afterwards, okay? Really? Sweaters in Sudan? The girls are up to something.
I hope it's not a surprise party.
Well, look around.
We're having a party for you.
It's no surprise.
Everyone will be here at 7:00.
Later, you eat.
Not now.
I am making a very special dinner for you.
More like a last supper.
Oh, please, Chico.
Rosa, don't leave.
You know, if you move out, there's no more family dinners.
People who don't live together can have dinner, Ricky.
You're a relatively smart man.
You know this.
Yeah, yeah, but what about movie night? Game night? Poker night? Hmm? I want more "bingo" nights.
Can I ask you a personal question? Just a little Botox around the eyes.
No, not about that, and I know it's not just Botox.
You want me to leave before dinner? No, no.
Sorry.
You're gorgeous.
You know this.
I do.
It's just I'm a little freaked out, and I wanted to ask you And don't think I'm crazy But, um do you believe in spirits? Of course.
Of course? I am Latina.
Did you not notice this? Okay, okay.
Do you ever talk to them? I do.
It's good for the soul.
I talk to my mother, my husband, my daughter Okay.
Do they ever, um I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.
Do they ever talk back? Uh-huh Listen.
How can I put this? If a spirit comes to you, it's because you need help.
Your need calls to them, and you definitely need help, hijo.
Go on.
I'm listening.
Well, it's not about them.
It's about you.
They only exist to guide us, like our subconscious, and they live here, right here.
So are they, um, are they real? Oh, they are real to you, and that's all that matters.
They exist for you, and not without you, and the good part is, hijo, they will come if you need help.
What do I need help with? Seriously, seriously, you have a list? Oh, I've been working on that for some time.
Listen, listen, what if there was a way that you could stay here and have your own place? What if I built you a guest house? Then I'd be a guest.
No.
Now, just leave.
Go on.
I am trying to make dinner here.
Man, there are some bossy women in this house.
Ay! Happy Beer-day, dude! Hi.
I think it's still "birthday", Todd.
Is it, though? I like a birthday, but I prefer a beer day.
No? Am I wrong with this? I mean, where would we be without beer? Not happy, I can tell you that, but you take birthdays away, and we just stay young and hot.
Is that the way you see yourself? Young and hot? I do.
Okay.
I, however, am 40 today.
No longer young.
No longer hot.
No, dude, I get it.
So you've got a few years on me.
I know how that must feel, but if you take care of yourself like I do, you could get the hot back.
Ricky Cooper at 40, gets the hot back.
[chuckling.]
Mm, help me out with this table.
I'm old and weak.
Lemonade stand? You know it.
Our lives are so predictable.
Well, my life became a little less predictable today.
Bring it.
The girls want me to start dating.
Whoa, whoa, wha What's happening over there? It looks like someone just gave you a puppy.
Someone did, man, someone just did.
[laughing.]
Okay, okay, Todd, Todd Todd, you're dancing.
This is some danceworthy news, my friend and I finish with a twirl.
Okay, okay, enlighten me.
This is just the opportunity that we have been waiting for.
We? The world, my 40-year-old friend, is our oyster.
Todd, you're married.
You You have no oysters.
Oh, but there's where you're mistaken, Ricardo.
From now on, from this moment going forward, I get to live vicariously through you.
How How do you figure? You are the king of the world, my friend.
Go forth and conquer a lot, and tell me about it in detail.
You can't forget the details.
The details are of the utmost importance.
Copy that.
Utmost.
Uh, Todd, Todd? The table.
I just need you to help me flip it over.
- Right.
- Yeah.
Never do that twirl thing again.
It was an impulse thing.
It was Yeah, kind of weird.
You know what? Hold the phone.
We do not do manual labor.
Kids! Cooper house, stat! May I say one of the few perks of having two kids under the age of 15 is that I never have to lift a finger again.
Okay, dudes, your mission is as follows.
Grab the table, turn it over, take it to the garage.
Cooper's Angels are lemonade-ing it.
You know what? Let's do this right.
Go the extra mile.
Grab a tablecloth and throw it on there, maybe some flowers too.
You can pick them from our lawn, but do not tell your mother.
Go! They're good kids.
I don't understand.
How do you get them to do things? Elisa is the only one that actually does anything.
The other two, forget about it.
Uh, it's a monetary thing.
I pay them under the table, and there is nothing wrong with child labor, nothing wrong at all.
Please don't tell Maggie.
[Maggie.]
: Todd! They're picking my flowers! Todd! King of the world, my friend.
[Maggie.]
: Did you say they could do that? King of the world.
Todd, where are you? - [Todd.]
: Coming! - Todd! So, uh, Gigi, are you taking recorder this year? Violin.
Wow, you're so athletic.
That's the best you got? Apparently, she knows what to do with boys.
What doesn't she know? Mom would be so proud of her.
She would have been very proud of you too.
You're so caring and nice.
You take care of us.
What? You think I don't notice? All right, let's do this thing.
You guys are going to get into so much trouble.
[chuckles.]
Oh, how was your nap? I had a nightmare you moved out.
All packed.
Moving mañana.
Tomorrow? Now you understand my language.
Okay, okay.
How much do you want? Name your price.
I'll take three grand, hmm? Okay.
Gracias.
Oh, still moving, but this should cover the hardwood floors.
[voices of group chattering.]
What the heck is that? [woman laughing.]
[camera clicks.]
Yeah.
There he is! Girls, what's going on? We told you.
Lemonade stand.
There's a lot of people here, and they're all women people.
It seems we've made some very good lemonade.
Yeah.
Like, the best lemonade ever.
I'm going to ask you one more time, and then I'm going to get mad.
What is going on, Mirabel, Elisa, Georgina? It's safe to surmise, given the age range of these lovely ladies, they remember you from your pro-ball days.
Do I need to list my occupation as well as my hobbies? - [siren blips.]
- Ugh.
Sir, you realize it's illegal to operate a business in a residential area without the proper permits? Oh, uh, no disrespect whatsoever, officer, but this is a children's lemonade stand for charity.
This is a dating service.
Yeah A what? There was an email posted on the community Web site and there are signs throughout the county.
The The county? Mm-hmm.
A dating service? I don't know what you're talking about, officer.
You really don't know, do you? Poor guy.
I suggest you look behind you, pal.
I am terribly sorry, officer.
It's over right now.
Ha ha.
Inside.
But we're making a book with all their pictures.
Now! I'm Annie.
My number's right here.
Wednesday and Thursdays are best.
[awkward chuckle.]
Hello, ladies.
- [Maggie.]
: Todd! - Coming! - May I just say - No.
What you girls did up there was truly unacceptable, humiliating, and, more importantly, you lied to me.
- We didn't mean - No.
You cannot make up your minds that something is going to be, and then just do it.
But isn't that the definition of tenacity and ambition? Aren't these characteristics you encourage? That is not the point.
No, you did what you did without any regard for me, and that is very, very wrong.
It was for you, Papi, so you can have a life.
I didn't mean I have a life, with the three of you and Abuela.
That's my life, and it's a life that I love and I cherish.
It's not enough.
You three don't get to decide what is enough for me and what is not.
You're children! My children.
You need to go upstairs now.
It's too much on my own, Isabella.
I think that's why I'm here.
It's to help you move on so you don't have to do it alone, so that you're ready to be with someone else, so that you can have someone to love.
[footsteps approach.]
Uh-oh the girls are very upset, hijo.
Rosa, you saw what they did.
They did it because they love you, and you weren't going to do it on your own.
Don't you think I would be the first one to tell you if the timing wasn't right? She was my daughter, and she will always be a part of this family, and she is here with us, every day.
Oh, you have no idea.
Isabella was kind, generous, and giving.
She would want you to move on now.
It's time.
How long are you going to keep them up there? Just give me a few minutes to calm down, because right now, I could sell them on eBay.
I'll go get them.
Oh, hey! You can't keep doing that! You know, popping in and out.
It's not up to me.
You needed me.
I'm here.
Ish.
You're here ish.
[Gigi.]
: Daddy? [sighs.]
Get down here.
Have you read any Mark Twain? You know, I never know what you're going to say, and it kills me.
This morning it was dolls, and now it's American literature.
What can I say? I'm an enigma.
So have you read Twain or not, Daddy? Yeah, a bit.
Well, it's my feeling that it's fear that holds us back, across the board.
Are you sure you're eight? Oh, Daddy.
Yes, I'm eight! The thing is Twain wrote, "20 years from now", "you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do" "than by the things you did do'" "so throw off your bowlines" "sail away from the safe harbor, and catch trade winds in your sails.
" Wow.
That was, uh, that was something.
Essentially, Twain is saying to leave safety behind and to go forge into the unknown.
Women, Dad New experiences are the unknown.
It's time to forge.
You got your mother's brain, Gigi.
No doubt about that.
[footsteps approaching.]
Fiesta time! But it was a success! We have sheets of names and numbers.
I'm sorry I missed it.
Wait a minute.
How many women were there? A lot.
Some of them were really cute.
Well, I mean, for older women.
Older women? Yeah, like in their 30s.
Oh, yeah, that's very old.
[Rick.]
: I've got to tell you, when my girls put their mind to something, they do it.
It was quite the scene, but, you know, not the way I want to go about it.
How are we going to go about it? You know, we could go with the former baseball pro/ business owner angle.
[Todd.]
: Or the single dad.
That always works.
No, "we" are not doing anything, and "we" are not working any angles.
Okay.
Go online, like me.
What? I'm not dead yet.
Where do you think I do every Friday night? Bingo? Please.
Abuela, you lied to us.
It happens.
Get over it.
[laughter.]
Hey.
Hi.
You care to join me? Sure.
What are you drinking? I don't care.
Oh, then make mine a double.
Okay.
[both chuckle.]
Remember that party in Cabo when Isabella ate Yeah.
The squid nachos with the cheesy spray stuff.
[laughing.]
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
[chuckles.]
I miss her.
You were best friends.
Yeah.
To Isabella.
To Isabella.
What are you looking for? Huh? Oh nothing.
What's going on with you? I can't even begin to explain.
Celebrations are tough.
Jackie, I love you, you're my sister-in-law and a great doctor, but aneurysms don't work that way.
There was nothing you could do.
I know, I know.
I didn't say anything.
Not a word.
Nothing.
No.
You didn't need to.
Drink up.
You know, it's been a tough day, but this cocktail is really working for me.
[both chuckle.]
[zooming.]
Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Your age is showing, Daddy.
Oh, give me a break, little girl.
Aah! I am so wiping the floor with you.
Oh, settle down there.
I am so Oh, no, no! No, no, no! Crap.
I'm going in for the kill, and there I am, bounding over tall buildings and, oh, a nice rooftop flip, if I do say so myself.
[beep!.]
I don't want you to grow up.
I'm sorry.
That's not fair.
I know you have to grow up, and I know I'm lame for wanting you to be a little girl.
I get it.
Little kids are cute.
You were so cute! We got Gigi.
She's super cute.
The cutest besides you and Mirabel.
Are you too old to cuddle? Nope.
Do you remember what I asked you on your 8th birthday? You asked me if I'd promise to always hold your hand when I crossed the street.
And you said yes.
I meant it, Daddy.
I love you [beep!.]
But I will end you in a New York minute! [zooming.]
[sniffling.]
[sniffling.]
Oh, honey, come here.
Come here.
[.]
I miss her so much, and she would always wear these.
I'm sorry, Papi.
I'll put them back.
Do you try them on a lot? They're yours.
Thank you, Papi.
I'll treasure them forever.
You have your mother's beauty, Mirabel, and that's no small thing, but, more importantly, you have her heart and mine.
Moved away far from my home Sometimes a big city makes you feel alone Close my eyes I can almost see Faces I love smiling back at me It was a small house filled with love Remember where you came from And keep it close What's going on here? Sleepover.
Is that a piece of cake? Ooh, can we see that? Hand it over, old man.
You girls can fall asleep here.
I'll transfer you later.
I can still pick you all up.
Tricky Ricky's still got it.
I'm still really strong, like, seriously strong.
And it's gone! Over the wall! The crowd goes wild! Tricky Ricky has done it again.
[imitates roar of crowd.]
Huh? That's it? Come on, what Check out these guns.
Look at that.
Like Popeye.
That appeals to women.
It's a visceral thing.
I don't even know what that means.
The males of many species like to show off for the female in order to attract them, like the peacock, or the elusive blue-footed booby in The Galápagos, for instance National Geographic? Hello? That's it.
[giggling.]
[Rick.]
: Out, out.
Okay, hey, hey, enough, ladies.
No more fighting, no more lemonade stands, no more sweaters for the people in Sudan.
No more.
That's my birthday wish.
Now, move over.
Move! [giggling.]
[.]
Ahh Happy Birthday to me! Baby, I'm all man When I'm with you You're going to be okay.
I'm going to be okay.
Compared to a schooled man But I feel so enlightened Just studying your smile
"Hi.
I'm 40.
" "How old are you, Ricky?" "Oh, I'm 40.
" "Nah, nah, Ricky can't be 40.
" "Rick is 40.
" "Macho, cool Rick.
He's 40.
" "40-year-old Rick.
" Yeah.
40 seems so old.
Totally, but Papi's in great shape.
Agreed.
A perfect 40-year-old specimen.
"I'm a professional ball player.
" Powww! Thanks, Mir.
No problem.
I hope we're doing the right thing.
I know.
We are.
Daddy needs our help.
We have our strategy, we have our talking points, and we have each other.
Let's do this.
Go, team! Oh! Buenos dÃas, chicas.
Must have been some game.
You look really overdressed for bingo, Abuela.
There was dancing! Was it The Forbidden Dance? Did you sleep at bingo, Abuela? I did.
The game ran late.
There were cots, and now I'm going upstairs to change.
Ay caramba.
[knocking.]
Feliz cumpleaños, gringo.
Ah, gracias, Rosa.
Worst accent ever.
What are you wearing? Sequins.
That's an interesting choice for 8:00 a.
m.
on a Saturday.
That's why I'm here.
I don't want it to happen again.
It's not that bad.
I mean, it's a little form-fitting, but, you know Escuchame.
Listen.
I do not want to have to do the walk of shame in front of my granddaughters if I feel like staying out late.
What are you saying? I am finding my own place.
It's time.
Oh, ho-ho-ho! Nope.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not happening.
I do not accept your resignation.
I need you.
They need you.
I can't do it without you.
You know, soon they're going to be dating and boys and more dating and make-up and prom dresses and then they're going to want to drive cars! Cars and boys! Obviously, nuh-uh.
You're not going anywhere.
Watch me.
No, this has got to be the worst birthday ever.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! Oh! Best birthday ever! Make a wish, Daddy.
[whispers.]
Don't leave.
Wishes are meant to be secret, but we're not going anywhere.
Oh, my life is over.
Don't be silly, Papi.
Well, I mean, you're old, but not that old.
Life expectancy is climbing, Daddy.
You've got plenty of time.
Oh.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Bye, all.
Oh-ho-ho Wait.
What's with the nod? It's go time.
Oh.
Daddy, we have to talk to you.
It's important.
Muy.
What up, my pretty posse? What? I can't say that? Which part? Both parts.
"What up" and "pretty posse".
Both.
Okay.
Okay, I got it.
What's going on? It's your 40th birthday and you're not getting any younger.
[whispers.]
We've seen the Rogaine.
And the last shred of dignity bites the dust.
Another no on "bites the dust".
Oh.
Daddy, we want you to be happy.
We want you to fall in love.
We also want you to get a haircut, lose the "dad jeans", and buy a blue blazer.
Wow.
Wow.
It's going to be a busy day, and, you know, I don't wear "dad jeans".
It's been three years since mom died.
You need to get out there.
I met your mom in the ninth grade.
I don't even know where "out there" is.
She was my girl.
As hard as it is to imagine, there are other girls maybe not like Mom, but there are.
Plenty of fish.
Yeah, okay, okay.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
I got it.
I hear you.
Okay.
Whoo.
Wait.
What's your take-away, Daddy? Eight-year-olds don't say "What's your take-away?" That's my take-away! Now, go deliver a TED Talk or something.
I'm going to go brush my teeth and put on my Rogaine.
I think that went well.
What? Ugh.
Gigi? I'm fairly certain these belong to you.
Why are they in here? They're at a spa retreat from their high-stress, yet fulfilling executive positions at Fortune 500 companies.
They were taking a Jacuzzi, and later, they have Pilates.
Right.
Makes perfect sense.
It's important to work hard, but they also have to relax.
Everyone's so scheduled these days, we all just need to slow down.
Of course.
Carry on.
Wow.
You see that one, Isabella? And she might be our easiest.
How am I going to raise our girls on my own? [screams.]
You don't have to.
Aah, aah, aah Can I get a witness? Wow! I'm feelin' all right Just like I should should, should Best day of my life It feels so good good, good I'd bottle up this feeling if I could Oh yeah! Focus on the ball.
Keep your head in the game.
Focus.
On the ball.
Focus! [whimpers.]
Still here.
What What What is going on? What is going on? You talk to me all the time.
Today, I answered.
No biggie.
[breathing rapidly.]
No biggie? Oh, ho-ho, Au contraire, no, it's it's an enormous b-biggie, mainly because I I'm sitting on my bathtub talking to my dead wife.
Huhu [door opens.]
Sorry.
Forgot their juice cleanser.
[exhales sharply.]
[door closes.]
Huh.
[laughs nervously.]
And early-onset dementia is upon us [exhales sharply.]
[upbeat music pulsates.]
Happy birthday, boss.
Whatever.
- Really? - I'm in a mood.
Yes, I see that.
It's very endearing.
How about a "Hey, Steph, how's school going?" Ah, I'm sorry.
How's it going, Steph? Well, since you asked, I should have my Ph.
D.
in clinical sports psychology in, oh, about eight years.
Come on, don't be dramatic.
Try four.
Has my brother come in yet? Uh, yeah.
He's in the locker room.
Could you go get him for me, please? - No.
- Excuse me? Ricky, he's in the locker room.
The men's locker room! Right, and it's Rick from now on.
Okay.
Rick.
[male voice.]
: There he is! The birthday boss! He's right there.
Sh-kk-powww! And may I just say how especially young you look this morning.
I'm going to stop you right there.
Not in the mood.
Go get my brother for me.
- Sure.
Yeah.
- Please.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
All right.
Whoo, someone's a little Snippy McSnippersons this morning, huh? - Go on.
- Yeah, I'm going to get him now.
Good.
It's official.
I've lost my mind on my 40th birthday.
Yay, me.
We need to talk.
No, I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
I can't hear my dead wife.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la! The girls are right.
It's time Time you move on.
[knocking.]
Hey.
[whispers.]
I'm having a medical thing.
Why? What's going on? Do you see that? What? I hit my head this morning.
I I feel strange.
I'm seeing things.
Maybe I have a brain tumor.
Oh, well, sure, yeah, that's it.
Calm down.
Kidding.
All right, on your feet, little brother.
Dr.
Bill is in the house.
Oh! I'm not one of your patients.
I'm not five.
Okay, okay.
All right, where'd you bang it? - What, right there? - Mm.
Ow, that hurts my neck.
Okay, uh, how many fingers? Three.
- Now? - Two.
- Now? - One.
- Now? - Four.
- Now? - Look Listen, I'm seeing things.
What kind of things? [whispers.]
Dead wife things.
Stop! S-sorry.
It's nothing.
Just I don't feel well.
Uh, okay.
Rick, um Let's talk about stress.
What's going on? Well, uh this morning, Rosa, who you know I rely on for every moment of every day, told me that she's moving out, and the girls want me to start dating, and as you also know, today is my 40th birthday, and oh, right, I use Rogaine.
Rick, you don't have a brain tumor.
You're having "a day", like Mom likes to call it.
I suggest maybe going for a run or for a swim or a steam, or maybe some Xanax.
Kidding.
Look, Jackie and I were talking about you this morning, and and 40 is a big one.
I mean, that milestone can be daunting, especially alone.
I have the girls and Rosa and you and Jackie.
That's not enough.
Look, I know life hasn't been the same for you since Isabella died, and probably will never be, and that's normal, but the thing is, there are a lot of happy memories ahead, and there will be love, in the form of a woman.
I know this, and I guess the girls do too.
Ha, ha.
Really.
I've got to tell you, and don't think I haven't thought about it, and as much as I do think about it, it always ends the same way with the same thought I can't imagine ever being as in love or happy or comfortable with a woman like I was with Isabella.
Over 20 years, my entire adult life.
Look, stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, dehydration, they can all cause hallucination, you know, the "seeing" things.
The remedy, Rick, is life.
Get out there, man, and live it.
I hate you.
I hate you too.
See you at 7:00.
What do you mean? You know about the surprise party? They throw me one every year.
It's no longer a surprise.
I don't get it.
[sighs.]
[Steph.]
: I'm telling you, you're not gonna bulk up.
[laughter.]
You just need to do cardio, and then weights.
Okay.
Thanks.
Sorry I was cranky.
I'm hoping you'll relax.
I put a shot of Cuervo in there.
Of course I didn't.
Okay, you have a client at 10:00, and then you're free to spend the rest of your birthday with your girls.
So why are you cranky? The girls want me to start dating.
Wow.
Wow! Wow! That's a lot of wows, Steph.
Mm.
Do you have a blue blazer? What is it with the blue blazer? Very versatile.
Looks good with jeans or slacks khakis too, but no pleats.
Smart girl.
I hate pleats.
Got it.
No pleats.
You think I can't date? I'm not the dating type? No, that's not it at all.
Ricky, I have worked for you for two years, and you haven't gone out on one date, at least that I've known about.
There's been no dating, and we all can't be as socially active as you, Steph.
A woman's got to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince or a guy with a job or a car.
You are a catch.
Go on.
Well, you're an ex-professional baseball player, handsome, fit, you own your own business, and you have a really nice house and you have three amazing daughters.
You're like a killer whale in a sea of plankton.
You're right.
I am a catch! Guys, look what I found on eBay.
You were marked down to $3.
99, and there are more if we want 'em, like a whole warehouse full of these things.
Way to go.
What? Oh, I Uh, Ricky! Boss, boss! No, no.
I'm sorry.
Shh.
Thank you all for coming.
You will find water bottles and fruit on the credenza.
That means dresser.
You always think I don't know things.
Did you know it? Maybe.
Back to the task at hand, please.
Look, he's never going to do this on his own.
We're going to take matters into our own hands, right here, right now.
I think we're right on target with our strategy.
We're going to need a sign-up sheet, with columns, for all of their information.
I've taken the liberty of printing some out.
[pebble hits window.]
[Boy.]
: Mirabel? Mirabel! He's at the wrong window.
You two are clearly made for one another.
Hey, Cole.
Hey, yourself.
We're doing a lemonade stand.
Come by.
Will do, beautiful.
The "will do, beautiful" is a little cheesy, don't you think? You're just jealous.
Yes, I've always wanted a boyfriend who wears the same shirt every day.
What could you possibly be doing? I'm trying to see how I look, like, upside down.
You know, to Cole, when I'm leaning out the window.
Not like Juliet on the balcony, I can tell you that much.
Who? Above your pay grade.
You know what's above your pay grade? A boyfriend.
That's what.
At least I have one.
I'm sorry, Elisa.
Lo siento.
You'll find a boyfriend, I promise.
How do you get one? A boyfriend.
It's weird.
They just come to me.
Not helping.
Boy lesson number one.
Don't be nice.
What? That's crazy.
Daddy always says the thing that attracted him to Mom was that although she was the smartest and most popular girl in ninth grade, she was also the nicest.
And you believed him? Mom was hot.
Mom was nice.
Well, I'm not.
Not with boys.
They like it when you're mean to them, ignore them, and don't care.
She may have a point.
Males of most species, except for lions and eagles, like to hunt, to chase.
They like to prove that they're Alpha.
Animal Planet.
Hello.
Okay, enough.
Task at hand, like the mini-genius said.
Task at hand.
Hey.
Hey, what's up for this afternoon? Batting practice? Can't.
We have plans.
On my birthday? We're going to have a lemonade stand.
To raise money.
For charity.
Not for any other purpose at all.
Well, I guess if it's for charity We need your help, Papi.
Will you put together the table in the rec room? Sure.
What exactly are you raising money for? Children in Sudan.
- My school.
- A new sweater for children in Sudan.
They need sweaters.
Ah.
I see, I see.
I need to go speak to your grandmother.
I'll put the table together afterwards, okay? Really? Sweaters in Sudan? The girls are up to something.
I hope it's not a surprise party.
Well, look around.
We're having a party for you.
It's no surprise.
Everyone will be here at 7:00.
Later, you eat.
Not now.
I am making a very special dinner for you.
More like a last supper.
Oh, please, Chico.
Rosa, don't leave.
You know, if you move out, there's no more family dinners.
People who don't live together can have dinner, Ricky.
You're a relatively smart man.
You know this.
Yeah, yeah, but what about movie night? Game night? Poker night? Hmm? I want more "bingo" nights.
Can I ask you a personal question? Just a little Botox around the eyes.
No, not about that, and I know it's not just Botox.
You want me to leave before dinner? No, no.
Sorry.
You're gorgeous.
You know this.
I do.
It's just I'm a little freaked out, and I wanted to ask you And don't think I'm crazy But, um do you believe in spirits? Of course.
Of course? I am Latina.
Did you not notice this? Okay, okay.
Do you ever talk to them? I do.
It's good for the soul.
I talk to my mother, my husband, my daughter Okay.
Do they ever, um I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.
Do they ever talk back? Uh-huh Listen.
How can I put this? If a spirit comes to you, it's because you need help.
Your need calls to them, and you definitely need help, hijo.
Go on.
I'm listening.
Well, it's not about them.
It's about you.
They only exist to guide us, like our subconscious, and they live here, right here.
So are they, um, are they real? Oh, they are real to you, and that's all that matters.
They exist for you, and not without you, and the good part is, hijo, they will come if you need help.
What do I need help with? Seriously, seriously, you have a list? Oh, I've been working on that for some time.
Listen, listen, what if there was a way that you could stay here and have your own place? What if I built you a guest house? Then I'd be a guest.
No.
Now, just leave.
Go on.
I am trying to make dinner here.
Man, there are some bossy women in this house.
Ay! Happy Beer-day, dude! Hi.
I think it's still "birthday", Todd.
Is it, though? I like a birthday, but I prefer a beer day.
No? Am I wrong with this? I mean, where would we be without beer? Not happy, I can tell you that, but you take birthdays away, and we just stay young and hot.
Is that the way you see yourself? Young and hot? I do.
Okay.
I, however, am 40 today.
No longer young.
No longer hot.
No, dude, I get it.
So you've got a few years on me.
I know how that must feel, but if you take care of yourself like I do, you could get the hot back.
Ricky Cooper at 40, gets the hot back.
[chuckling.]
Mm, help me out with this table.
I'm old and weak.
Lemonade stand? You know it.
Our lives are so predictable.
Well, my life became a little less predictable today.
Bring it.
The girls want me to start dating.
Whoa, whoa, wha What's happening over there? It looks like someone just gave you a puppy.
Someone did, man, someone just did.
[laughing.]
Okay, okay, Todd, Todd Todd, you're dancing.
This is some danceworthy news, my friend and I finish with a twirl.
Okay, okay, enlighten me.
This is just the opportunity that we have been waiting for.
We? The world, my 40-year-old friend, is our oyster.
Todd, you're married.
You You have no oysters.
Oh, but there's where you're mistaken, Ricardo.
From now on, from this moment going forward, I get to live vicariously through you.
How How do you figure? You are the king of the world, my friend.
Go forth and conquer a lot, and tell me about it in detail.
You can't forget the details.
The details are of the utmost importance.
Copy that.
Utmost.
Uh, Todd, Todd? The table.
I just need you to help me flip it over.
- Right.
- Yeah.
Never do that twirl thing again.
It was an impulse thing.
It was Yeah, kind of weird.
You know what? Hold the phone.
We do not do manual labor.
Kids! Cooper house, stat! May I say one of the few perks of having two kids under the age of 15 is that I never have to lift a finger again.
Okay, dudes, your mission is as follows.
Grab the table, turn it over, take it to the garage.
Cooper's Angels are lemonade-ing it.
You know what? Let's do this right.
Go the extra mile.
Grab a tablecloth and throw it on there, maybe some flowers too.
You can pick them from our lawn, but do not tell your mother.
Go! They're good kids.
I don't understand.
How do you get them to do things? Elisa is the only one that actually does anything.
The other two, forget about it.
Uh, it's a monetary thing.
I pay them under the table, and there is nothing wrong with child labor, nothing wrong at all.
Please don't tell Maggie.
[Maggie.]
: Todd! They're picking my flowers! Todd! King of the world, my friend.
[Maggie.]
: Did you say they could do that? King of the world.
Todd, where are you? - [Todd.]
: Coming! - Todd! So, uh, Gigi, are you taking recorder this year? Violin.
Wow, you're so athletic.
That's the best you got? Apparently, she knows what to do with boys.
What doesn't she know? Mom would be so proud of her.
She would have been very proud of you too.
You're so caring and nice.
You take care of us.
What? You think I don't notice? All right, let's do this thing.
You guys are going to get into so much trouble.
[chuckles.]
Oh, how was your nap? I had a nightmare you moved out.
All packed.
Moving mañana.
Tomorrow? Now you understand my language.
Okay, okay.
How much do you want? Name your price.
I'll take three grand, hmm? Okay.
Gracias.
Oh, still moving, but this should cover the hardwood floors.
[voices of group chattering.]
What the heck is that? [woman laughing.]
[camera clicks.]
Yeah.
There he is! Girls, what's going on? We told you.
Lemonade stand.
There's a lot of people here, and they're all women people.
It seems we've made some very good lemonade.
Yeah.
Like, the best lemonade ever.
I'm going to ask you one more time, and then I'm going to get mad.
What is going on, Mirabel, Elisa, Georgina? It's safe to surmise, given the age range of these lovely ladies, they remember you from your pro-ball days.
Do I need to list my occupation as well as my hobbies? - [siren blips.]
- Ugh.
Sir, you realize it's illegal to operate a business in a residential area without the proper permits? Oh, uh, no disrespect whatsoever, officer, but this is a children's lemonade stand for charity.
This is a dating service.
Yeah A what? There was an email posted on the community Web site and there are signs throughout the county.
The The county? Mm-hmm.
A dating service? I don't know what you're talking about, officer.
You really don't know, do you? Poor guy.
I suggest you look behind you, pal.
I am terribly sorry, officer.
It's over right now.
Ha ha.
Inside.
But we're making a book with all their pictures.
Now! I'm Annie.
My number's right here.
Wednesday and Thursdays are best.
[awkward chuckle.]
Hello, ladies.
- [Maggie.]
: Todd! - Coming! - May I just say - No.
What you girls did up there was truly unacceptable, humiliating, and, more importantly, you lied to me.
- We didn't mean - No.
You cannot make up your minds that something is going to be, and then just do it.
But isn't that the definition of tenacity and ambition? Aren't these characteristics you encourage? That is not the point.
No, you did what you did without any regard for me, and that is very, very wrong.
It was for you, Papi, so you can have a life.
I didn't mean I have a life, with the three of you and Abuela.
That's my life, and it's a life that I love and I cherish.
It's not enough.
You three don't get to decide what is enough for me and what is not.
You're children! My children.
You need to go upstairs now.
It's too much on my own, Isabella.
I think that's why I'm here.
It's to help you move on so you don't have to do it alone, so that you're ready to be with someone else, so that you can have someone to love.
[footsteps approach.]
Uh-oh the girls are very upset, hijo.
Rosa, you saw what they did.
They did it because they love you, and you weren't going to do it on your own.
Don't you think I would be the first one to tell you if the timing wasn't right? She was my daughter, and she will always be a part of this family, and she is here with us, every day.
Oh, you have no idea.
Isabella was kind, generous, and giving.
She would want you to move on now.
It's time.
How long are you going to keep them up there? Just give me a few minutes to calm down, because right now, I could sell them on eBay.
I'll go get them.
Oh, hey! You can't keep doing that! You know, popping in and out.
It's not up to me.
You needed me.
I'm here.
Ish.
You're here ish.
[Gigi.]
: Daddy? [sighs.]
Get down here.
Have you read any Mark Twain? You know, I never know what you're going to say, and it kills me.
This morning it was dolls, and now it's American literature.
What can I say? I'm an enigma.
So have you read Twain or not, Daddy? Yeah, a bit.
Well, it's my feeling that it's fear that holds us back, across the board.
Are you sure you're eight? Oh, Daddy.
Yes, I'm eight! The thing is Twain wrote, "20 years from now", "you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do" "than by the things you did do'" "so throw off your bowlines" "sail away from the safe harbor, and catch trade winds in your sails.
" Wow.
That was, uh, that was something.
Essentially, Twain is saying to leave safety behind and to go forge into the unknown.
Women, Dad New experiences are the unknown.
It's time to forge.
You got your mother's brain, Gigi.
No doubt about that.
[footsteps approaching.]
Fiesta time! But it was a success! We have sheets of names and numbers.
I'm sorry I missed it.
Wait a minute.
How many women were there? A lot.
Some of them were really cute.
Well, I mean, for older women.
Older women? Yeah, like in their 30s.
Oh, yeah, that's very old.
[Rick.]
: I've got to tell you, when my girls put their mind to something, they do it.
It was quite the scene, but, you know, not the way I want to go about it.
How are we going to go about it? You know, we could go with the former baseball pro/ business owner angle.
[Todd.]
: Or the single dad.
That always works.
No, "we" are not doing anything, and "we" are not working any angles.
Okay.
Go online, like me.
What? I'm not dead yet.
Where do you think I do every Friday night? Bingo? Please.
Abuela, you lied to us.
It happens.
Get over it.
[laughter.]
Hey.
Hi.
You care to join me? Sure.
What are you drinking? I don't care.
Oh, then make mine a double.
Okay.
[both chuckle.]
Remember that party in Cabo when Isabella ate Yeah.
The squid nachos with the cheesy spray stuff.
[laughing.]
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
[chuckles.]
I miss her.
You were best friends.
Yeah.
To Isabella.
To Isabella.
What are you looking for? Huh? Oh nothing.
What's going on with you? I can't even begin to explain.
Celebrations are tough.
Jackie, I love you, you're my sister-in-law and a great doctor, but aneurysms don't work that way.
There was nothing you could do.
I know, I know.
I didn't say anything.
Not a word.
Nothing.
No.
You didn't need to.
Drink up.
You know, it's been a tough day, but this cocktail is really working for me.
[both chuckle.]
[zooming.]
Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Your age is showing, Daddy.
Oh, give me a break, little girl.
Aah! I am so wiping the floor with you.
Oh, settle down there.
I am so Oh, no, no! No, no, no! Crap.
I'm going in for the kill, and there I am, bounding over tall buildings and, oh, a nice rooftop flip, if I do say so myself.
[beep!.]
I don't want you to grow up.
I'm sorry.
That's not fair.
I know you have to grow up, and I know I'm lame for wanting you to be a little girl.
I get it.
Little kids are cute.
You were so cute! We got Gigi.
She's super cute.
The cutest besides you and Mirabel.
Are you too old to cuddle? Nope.
Do you remember what I asked you on your 8th birthday? You asked me if I'd promise to always hold your hand when I crossed the street.
And you said yes.
I meant it, Daddy.
I love you [beep!.]
But I will end you in a New York minute! [zooming.]
[sniffling.]
[sniffling.]
Oh, honey, come here.
Come here.
[.]
I miss her so much, and she would always wear these.
I'm sorry, Papi.
I'll put them back.
Do you try them on a lot? They're yours.
Thank you, Papi.
I'll treasure them forever.
You have your mother's beauty, Mirabel, and that's no small thing, but, more importantly, you have her heart and mine.
Moved away far from my home Sometimes a big city makes you feel alone Close my eyes I can almost see Faces I love smiling back at me It was a small house filled with love Remember where you came from And keep it close What's going on here? Sleepover.
Is that a piece of cake? Ooh, can we see that? Hand it over, old man.
You girls can fall asleep here.
I'll transfer you later.
I can still pick you all up.
Tricky Ricky's still got it.
I'm still really strong, like, seriously strong.
And it's gone! Over the wall! The crowd goes wild! Tricky Ricky has done it again.
[imitates roar of crowd.]
Huh? That's it? Come on, what Check out these guns.
Look at that.
Like Popeye.
That appeals to women.
It's a visceral thing.
I don't even know what that means.
The males of many species like to show off for the female in order to attract them, like the peacock, or the elusive blue-footed booby in The Galápagos, for instance National Geographic? Hello? That's it.
[giggling.]
[Rick.]
: Out, out.
Okay, hey, hey, enough, ladies.
No more fighting, no more lemonade stands, no more sweaters for the people in Sudan.
No more.
That's my birthday wish.
Now, move over.
Move! [giggling.]
[.]
Ahh Happy Birthday to me! Baby, I'm all man When I'm with you You're going to be okay.
I'm going to be okay.
Compared to a schooled man But I feel so enlightened Just studying your smile