Dating Rules From My Future Self (2012) s01e01 Episode Script
Chapter One: Who R U?
Dial home.
Calling home.
Lucy? Hey, I'm back in town.
- It's Lucy! - So, how was it?! - Oh, sorry! - Jet lag! - Hey, watch it! - I deserve that! - Wait, are you biking? - You want to call me back when you're not endangering all of Silver Lake? Just tell me real fast, though, did he do it? He asked me last night, right when we got back in L.
A.
Hey, it's Kelsey just tuning in, but this is what I heard.
You and your boyfriend of four years went to Paris for a week, but he didn't propose until you were back in the L.
A.
X.
tarmac, or did he wait till baggage claim? I think it's sweet.
It's like saying "I can travel around the world with you, but home is where the heart is".
or, "home is where I remember that I forgot to propose to my girlfriend while we were in Paris".
How big's the diamond? Hey, guys, can we focus for a second? Um, the thing is, I didn't actually say yes.
I mean, I will probably I think.
Haven't you been thinking for the past four years? It's a big decision.
Should I have said yes right away? He's a great guy.
You should have said something.
- yeah, I know.
- Brendan is great.
Well, I'm gonna see him at work, but before I give him an answer, maybe we can talk about this tonight? - Oh, we'll talk.
- Of course.
Okay.
We can't let her marry that hyena.
- Welcome back, Lucy.
- Way to go.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
What'd I do? Cute.
It's a great excuse to have a cupcake.
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.
- There she is, huh? - Congratulations.
Yeah.
or Lucy Lambert if she keeps her name.
Mom, you got to see her right now.
She looks so pregnant.
I got ya.
Listen, we'll talk about it tonight, okay? Brendan So, my parents want to take us out to dinner tonight to celebrate.
I told them we'd do drinks at your place beforehand.
Can you get some champagne on your way home? But, Brendan, I said I wanted to think about it.
Yeah, but you weren't really gonna say no, were you? Were you? Well, no, but What would I have done with my tattoo Change it to "I love Brucy?" who's Brucy?! Come on.
Be excited.
I am, yeah.
I have to go prep for the meeting.
I'll see you in there.
Oh, and, hey, you want to wear that.
Sure.
Congratulations, Mrs.
Burke.
So, now that all the happy personal news is out of the way, we need a follow-up to "pissed-off pigeons".
Brendan, Noelle, anything? How about "bipolar bunnies"? That's a little similar to "pissed-off pigeons".
In what way? Because one is an upset bird and the other is a rabbit who's having trouble balancing his emotions.
Manic bunny, depressed bunny.
Manic bunny, depressed bunny.
Is that are those the basics? What about a decision maker? Is this the time when everyone pitches or? I'd like to hear more, Lucy.
I'd like to hear more.
I was, um I was just, uh, thinking about those little, you know, like, "yes, no, maybe" spinners that everyone likes or those magic 8-balls.
What if you could customize an app and you could enter in all of your character traits and, like, who you want to be in like 10, 20 years? So you end up with this avatar who represents the ideal future you You know, the person that you want to be.
So then they can tell you if you're making the right choices to become that person.
I don't get it.
Okay, so it's a little sci-fi, I guess.
Yeah.
Brendan, what do you think? I like it.
I just think it might be a little development-heavy for us right now.
- Yeah, n-no.
- Yeah, yeah.
I see that.
Um, so, maybe some time down the road, or not, which is fine, too.
Oh, these cupcakes are really good.
Thanks for that.
Thanks.
"Outlook not so good"? Aah! Aah! Lucy? Lucy, you okay? - Hi, Dave.
- I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have parked on the sidewalk.
- Oh, t-that's okay.
- Your balloons.
- You okay? - Y-yeah, thanks.
That was an awesome fall, by the way.
You really stuck the landing.
Yeah, well, I've had some practice.
Uh, Brendan asked me to drop off some appetizers for the in-laws.
Oh.
Congratulations, by the way.
- I don't know if I said it.
- Oh, thank you.
Welcome home! Welcome home! Welcome home! - Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.
Ooh, bubbles from France.
- Uh, no, not France.
- They're from CVS.
They're for Brendan's parents.
They're coming over.
And why would they be doing that? 'Cause they're engaged.
- Wait, what? - You said "yes"? Yay! - I know.
- Intervention's off.
All right, well, I hope I didn't ruin the surprise.
- Yummy.
- You couldn't ruin anything.
- All right.
- See you, girls.
Hey, Kelsey, when Brendan and Lucy get married, do you think that his roommate could move in with us? Hey, I thought we were gonna talk about this.
Lucy, what is the plan? Oh, uh, they'll be here in an hour.
But, what's, like, the We mean the bigger-picture plan.
You know, like, did you set a date? Am I the maid of honor? Do you have a dress? - Okay, crazy! - I just got engaged an hour ago.
I mean, was I really supposed to pick up a dress on my way home? - I have a dress.
- Of course you do.
I stole it from my QVC wedding shoot because it's my dream dress and because it keeps me from gaining weight.
If I outgrew my dream dress, how sad would that be? Yeah, that's the sad part.
I keep getting these weird texts from an unknown number.
- "Am I coming in clear?" - Hold the phone.
You can block your number when you send texts? - Are you serious? - Yeah.
If that's true, then I have a lot of sexting to do.
Try it on.
- No.
No.
- I-I'm okay.
It's gonna look so beautiful on your perfect little figure, and we're the same, and you're gonna look amazing, and if you're gonna get married before me, you should try it on.
- Please just try it on.
- This is insufferable.
Yes! How does it look? Oh, my god! It looks good on everybody.
Yeah, we could be like sisterhood of the traveling wedding dress! Calm down.
I'm kidding.
Guys, a-are you sending me these texts? No.
Oh, by the way, I tried blocking my number.
Not possible, and now I'm pretty sure my professor's wife is on her way over here.
- No, look at this.
- "Don't do it.
" Like, don't do what? Don't get married? Well, statistically speaking Well, I'm s-sure that's not what it means.
No, I mean, you guys would tell me if I were making a mistake, right? - Am I? - Yes! No.
No.
Love is a personal choice, so no matter what you choose I mean, you can always get a divorce.
Oh, I want to stop talking.
Hey, Lucy? - Lucy? - What time is it? Okay, just Wow! I know you're excited, but You're not gonna wear that to dinner with my parents, are you? No, sorry.
we, uh, just We lost track of time.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
So, my parents are dying to see where you live.
Right, 'cause they want to judge me.
That's not true.
Yes, they do.
- Move that.
- Just pick it up.
Maybe you should clean your crap up.
Hon? Can I ask you just one small favor? To please stay off your phone tonight? I mean, my parents are gonna think it's rude.
They're coming all this way to see your pretty face.
Yeah, of course.
All right.
Cool.
Hey, Lucy, you okay? Mm-hmm.
Forget what I said.
They're here.
Ladies.
- You look great.
- Thanks.
Calling home.
Lucy? Hey, I'm back in town.
- It's Lucy! - So, how was it?! - Oh, sorry! - Jet lag! - Hey, watch it! - I deserve that! - Wait, are you biking? - You want to call me back when you're not endangering all of Silver Lake? Just tell me real fast, though, did he do it? He asked me last night, right when we got back in L.
A.
Hey, it's Kelsey just tuning in, but this is what I heard.
You and your boyfriend of four years went to Paris for a week, but he didn't propose until you were back in the L.
A.
X.
tarmac, or did he wait till baggage claim? I think it's sweet.
It's like saying "I can travel around the world with you, but home is where the heart is".
or, "home is where I remember that I forgot to propose to my girlfriend while we were in Paris".
How big's the diamond? Hey, guys, can we focus for a second? Um, the thing is, I didn't actually say yes.
I mean, I will probably I think.
Haven't you been thinking for the past four years? It's a big decision.
Should I have said yes right away? He's a great guy.
You should have said something.
- yeah, I know.
- Brendan is great.
Well, I'm gonna see him at work, but before I give him an answer, maybe we can talk about this tonight? - Oh, we'll talk.
- Of course.
Okay.
We can't let her marry that hyena.
- Welcome back, Lucy.
- Way to go.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
What'd I do? Cute.
It's a great excuse to have a cupcake.
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.
- There she is, huh? - Congratulations.
Yeah.
or Lucy Lambert if she keeps her name.
Mom, you got to see her right now.
She looks so pregnant.
I got ya.
Listen, we'll talk about it tonight, okay? Brendan So, my parents want to take us out to dinner tonight to celebrate.
I told them we'd do drinks at your place beforehand.
Can you get some champagne on your way home? But, Brendan, I said I wanted to think about it.
Yeah, but you weren't really gonna say no, were you? Were you? Well, no, but What would I have done with my tattoo Change it to "I love Brucy?" who's Brucy?! Come on.
Be excited.
I am, yeah.
I have to go prep for the meeting.
I'll see you in there.
Oh, and, hey, you want to wear that.
Sure.
Congratulations, Mrs.
Burke.
So, now that all the happy personal news is out of the way, we need a follow-up to "pissed-off pigeons".
Brendan, Noelle, anything? How about "bipolar bunnies"? That's a little similar to "pissed-off pigeons".
In what way? Because one is an upset bird and the other is a rabbit who's having trouble balancing his emotions.
Manic bunny, depressed bunny.
Manic bunny, depressed bunny.
Is that are those the basics? What about a decision maker? Is this the time when everyone pitches or? I'd like to hear more, Lucy.
I'd like to hear more.
I was, um I was just, uh, thinking about those little, you know, like, "yes, no, maybe" spinners that everyone likes or those magic 8-balls.
What if you could customize an app and you could enter in all of your character traits and, like, who you want to be in like 10, 20 years? So you end up with this avatar who represents the ideal future you You know, the person that you want to be.
So then they can tell you if you're making the right choices to become that person.
I don't get it.
Okay, so it's a little sci-fi, I guess.
Yeah.
Brendan, what do you think? I like it.
I just think it might be a little development-heavy for us right now.
- Yeah, n-no.
- Yeah, yeah.
I see that.
Um, so, maybe some time down the road, or not, which is fine, too.
Oh, these cupcakes are really good.
Thanks for that.
Thanks.
"Outlook not so good"? Aah! Aah! Lucy? Lucy, you okay? - Hi, Dave.
- I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have parked on the sidewalk.
- Oh, t-that's okay.
- Your balloons.
- You okay? - Y-yeah, thanks.
That was an awesome fall, by the way.
You really stuck the landing.
Yeah, well, I've had some practice.
Uh, Brendan asked me to drop off some appetizers for the in-laws.
Oh.
Congratulations, by the way.
- I don't know if I said it.
- Oh, thank you.
Welcome home! Welcome home! Welcome home! - Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.
Ooh, bubbles from France.
- Uh, no, not France.
- They're from CVS.
They're for Brendan's parents.
They're coming over.
And why would they be doing that? 'Cause they're engaged.
- Wait, what? - You said "yes"? Yay! - I know.
- Intervention's off.
All right, well, I hope I didn't ruin the surprise.
- Yummy.
- You couldn't ruin anything.
- All right.
- See you, girls.
Hey, Kelsey, when Brendan and Lucy get married, do you think that his roommate could move in with us? Hey, I thought we were gonna talk about this.
Lucy, what is the plan? Oh, uh, they'll be here in an hour.
But, what's, like, the We mean the bigger-picture plan.
You know, like, did you set a date? Am I the maid of honor? Do you have a dress? - Okay, crazy! - I just got engaged an hour ago.
I mean, was I really supposed to pick up a dress on my way home? - I have a dress.
- Of course you do.
I stole it from my QVC wedding shoot because it's my dream dress and because it keeps me from gaining weight.
If I outgrew my dream dress, how sad would that be? Yeah, that's the sad part.
I keep getting these weird texts from an unknown number.
- "Am I coming in clear?" - Hold the phone.
You can block your number when you send texts? - Are you serious? - Yeah.
If that's true, then I have a lot of sexting to do.
Try it on.
- No.
No.
- I-I'm okay.
It's gonna look so beautiful on your perfect little figure, and we're the same, and you're gonna look amazing, and if you're gonna get married before me, you should try it on.
- Please just try it on.
- This is insufferable.
Yes! How does it look? Oh, my god! It looks good on everybody.
Yeah, we could be like sisterhood of the traveling wedding dress! Calm down.
I'm kidding.
Guys, a-are you sending me these texts? No.
Oh, by the way, I tried blocking my number.
Not possible, and now I'm pretty sure my professor's wife is on her way over here.
- No, look at this.
- "Don't do it.
" Like, don't do what? Don't get married? Well, statistically speaking Well, I'm s-sure that's not what it means.
No, I mean, you guys would tell me if I were making a mistake, right? - Am I? - Yes! No.
No.
Love is a personal choice, so no matter what you choose I mean, you can always get a divorce.
Oh, I want to stop talking.
Hey, Lucy? - Lucy? - What time is it? Okay, just Wow! I know you're excited, but You're not gonna wear that to dinner with my parents, are you? No, sorry.
we, uh, just We lost track of time.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
So, my parents are dying to see where you live.
Right, 'cause they want to judge me.
That's not true.
Yes, they do.
- Move that.
- Just pick it up.
Maybe you should clean your crap up.
Hon? Can I ask you just one small favor? To please stay off your phone tonight? I mean, my parents are gonna think it's rude.
They're coming all this way to see your pretty face.
Yeah, of course.
All right.
Cool.
Hey, Lucy, you okay? Mm-hmm.
Forget what I said.
They're here.
Ladies.
- You look great.
- Thanks.