Dawn of the Croods (2015) s01e01 Episode Script

1 [Eep.]
Since the first sunrise, there have been two things you can always count on: family and change.
[rumbling.]
And both can be pretty painful.
Hi.
I'm Eep.
My family, the Croods, went through a lot of changes surviving what we called "the end," but this isn't that story.
This is about "the before," as in, before the end.
"The before" was back when we lived in Ahhh! Valley, a neighborhood named after the last words of its founder, who forgot to check if anyone was already living there.
[roars.]
Ahhh! Life was good.
I was learning how to hunt prey and friends.
[all scream.]
My mom had taken a break from gathering to stay home with my little sister, Sandy.
[roars.]
[laughs.]
[growls happily.]
My brother Thunk was Thunk.
And my dad was the best bonker in the hunting pack Yeah! working hard to put food on the floor.
All he asked was that everything stay exactly like it was, and that's exactly when everything changed.
[all snoring.]
[screams.]
Mom, Sandy's eating my face again! Well, did you sleep with your stomach showing, Thunk? You know she likes easy prey.
Remember what I taught you.
- When an animal locks its jaw - Tickle its closest paw.
[giggles.]
Well done, Eep.
And who's Daddy's little predator? [chuckles.]
[laughs.]
[people laugh and cheer.]
[boy.]
Ooh, yeah! Hey, Eep.
No training today.
Teacher got eaten by his lesson.
We're all going to the watering hole.
Come hang out with us.
- [gasps.]
Can I go to the watering hole? - Uh, I don't know.
But, Dad, this is the first time I've been invited inside the predator defense circle.
Oh, the "in crowd"? She would be safer with them, Grug.
Bye, "in crowd.
" Thanks for letting me hang.
Okay, okay.
You can go, but don't have too much fun, and "Don't drown.
Don't splash water spiders.
Don't taunt the wind.
" That's my girl, remembering all her "don'ts.
" [woman screams.]
Grug.
My mother! Hi, family that I love! And Groan.
It's Grug! Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum [title music.]
Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum 1x01 - "A Gran Day Out" [all gasp.]
Hold on, Mom! Or give in.
Up to you.
[Grug grunts.]
[Thunk yelps.]
Gran? Excuse me, outcasts.
[both pant.]
[creature growls.]
- The cold season will return.
- Gather food while there's still time.
We're wasting our breath, brother.
This town thinks we're crazy.
Maybe now, brother, but when the valley freezes and food goes scarce, what'll they think then? Why, nothing, brother.
They'll be dead.
I stand corrected, brother.
I stand corrected.
[creature growls.]
[Croods pant.]
[Sandy grunts.]
[Eep grunts.]
It'll be nice to have this valley to ourselves, brother.
Indeed, brother.
[grunts.]
[laughs.]
Getting slow in your old age.
- Maybe try using my cane, Glop.
- It's Grug! Oh, right.
Glop was Ugga's handsome boyfriend.
Huh.
Croods, family tree formation! [grunts.]
[grunts.]
[growls.]
[all scream.]
[groans.]
- Come on, we're almost home, brother.
- [groans.]
My back! I have to rest, brother, or I'll drop this egg.
I sure hope your back's feeling better, brother.
[screaming continues.]
[grunts, groans.]
[grunts.]
[Sandy giggles.]
- Did you see that, Bulk? - Yeah, Sulk, but I wish I hadn't.
Ew.
[gasps.]
[laughs.]
What a super funny stunt that I totally did on purpose, right? Let's go to the watering hole.
Yeah, maybe when you don't smell like eggs.
You're out.
Out of the "in crowd"? But I only just got in the "in crowd.
" Please, stop! You're only making it worse! Outcasts, we're leaving! [whimpers.]
[sighs.]
You going to eat your egg? [yelps.]
Ugga! How Oh.
Did you wash your hair again? With your face shape, it looks better with a layer of dirt.
[chuckles.]
Thanks.
But we need to talk about you, Mom.
This is the third bear owl to grab you this week.
Eh, they got good taste in women.
[yelps.]
No, they have a taste for weak prey.
I think you should move in with us.
[laughs.]
Uh, hold on, honey.
Shouldn't we send Gran to a place more suited for someone of her advanced age? Like, I don't know, uh Old People Island.
[creature squawks.]
Have fun.
You'll be missed.
We're not sending her to a place like that.
- We're the only family she's got.
- Ha! Pass.
You're coming with me.
Wow.
You really are easy to drag off.
Don't worry, Gran.
We'll feed you and clean you, like an animal we catch but never eat.
It'll be fun.
Eh, all right.
Let's go.
The sooner we get to your cave, the sooner I can start marking my territory.
Ow! [Sandy growls.]
[whimpers.]
Quit it, Sandy.
I'm not that tasty.
Or am I? Okay, got my lunch.
Uh, but anybody seen my hunting rock? I think I see it.
Big and hard and lumpy? It's right on top of your neck.
[chuckles sarcastically.]
- That's my seat.
- This butt says it's mine.
[growls.]
You know what? That's okay.
- I've got to get to the hunt, anyway.
- About that.
Now that we - have another mouth to feed - Huh? How much more food could you bring home from the hunt today? - Uh, none.
- Says the lazy lump.
- Go take a bait shift! - [gasps.]
Good idea, Mom.
Problem solved.
[breathes heavily.]
Ugga, no.
[mutters.]
All right, let me explain how hunting works.
[Grug.]
You have bait and you have bonkers.
Bait lures the food.
Oh, no! I'm weak and helpless! Guess I'll just rub these berries on myself while I wait to die.
[screams.]
Bonkers bonk the food.
[groans.]
And sometimes the bait.
Good hustle, guys.
Every hunter starts out as bait, and yes, bait takes home more food.
Oh, no, I am weak and delicious.
[creature bellows.]
[groans, whimpers.]
But keep in mind that and I can't stress this enough, honey Oh, no, I'm weak and Aw, just eat me.
you also have to be bait.
So, when I became a bonker, a good bonker, mind you, some would say the best bonker, I promised myself that I would never be bait again.
And I promised myself I would never share a cave with my mom again, but we all need to make sacrifices now that she's here.
Like, I need to gather more food, and Eep has to watch Sandy and Thunk.
- Wait, what? - Hang out with Eep? All right! [Sandy coos.]
Can't you hire the babysitter? [sighs.]
She's sitting for the Clops.
[grunts.]
But, Mom, the watering hole.
I need to get back in with the "in crowd.
" You can still go.
Just bring your brother and sister.
And me.
This cave is already cramping my style.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Mom, if you were the "in crowd," would you let that in? [muffled.]
Ta-da! Told you I could do it.
[sighs.]
Ooh, yeah, that's going to be rough.
Good luck! Send out the bait! Good yelling, brother, but next time, have a little fun with it, like - # Send out the bait! # - Be serious, brother.
Send out the bait, or your kids will starve and your mothers will cry Send out the bait and hop on one foot Send out the bait and rub your tummy Eat me! I'm weak but delicious! [screams.]
Oh, Munk, buddy, I don't know how I'm going to survive living with Gran.
Hey, well, you know, she's old, right? She can't live forever.
Oh, she might.
Gran is a force of nature.
She always eats like it's her last meal, but it never is.
She always has a bone to pick, but never shares it.
She never replaces the wiping leaf.
And now, thanks to her, I'm bait, and I hate being bait.
[screams.]
Oh, that's too bad.
You are good bait.
Ow! Hey, aim for the prey! [moans.]
Nice work, sweetie! Catch three more and we'll have dinner! Ooh, there are a lot of these.
Anyone know if they're deadly? We need a taster on shrub four! We're going to need a new taster.
Look, guys, I'm going to see if I can get us in, but you've got to be cool.
Done.
So, don't shout, don't burp, don't eat stuff you find in your ears, don't make music with your butt.
[slide whistle.]
- Excuse me.
- You know what? Just do nothing.
Hi, "in crowd.
" Can you open up? Uh, are they with you? - [slurps.]
What? - [Gran.]
Who's up for a skin swim? [all gasp.]
It's like she's got enough flesh for two people.
And why is it so scaly? - Wait.
Where's Sandy? - Ow! Something bit my butt! [screams.]
[all scream.]
[inhales deeply.]
[whimpers.]
[sighs.]
[ominous music plays.]
[snarls.]
[chuckles.]
Sorry.
Just a little slip-up, but I promise, if you let us in, they won't be embarrassing.
Anymore.
They'll just stand off to the side and do nothing.
You can come in, but they can't.
That's just how it is.
I don't make the rules.
- Yeah, we do! - Oh, yeah, we do.
Ha! Fine.
We'll go make our own fun.
What do you kids want to do first? - Go ramu tipping or moon the sun? - Let's moon the sun! Eep, you in or you out? I'm out.
[all gasp.]
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah - Stop singing! - Sorry.
Is this safe, Gran? Dad says, "When in doubt, don't.
- Just just don't.
" - [scoffs.]
Your dad doesn't know fun.
I do.
Literally.
I knew the caveman who invented fun.
- Really? Where is he now? - Oh, he's dead.
Now, cue the mask! [all roar.]
[creatures bellow.]
Stampede surfin'! Whoo! Great baiting today, Grug.
You're a natural.
[groans.]
Mighty fine baiting, Grug.
Way to make yourself look so weak and pathetic.
[chuckles.]
Really sold the whole "giving up on life" thing.
Yep, you are definitely our bait from here on out, Grug.
You know, until you [imitates choking.]
"Ahh!" Today, I was bonked, bitten, bruised, battered, and bashed.
And I'd rather go through all of that again than go home to Gran.
Be grateful for the family you have, Grug.
Remember, I lost mine.
Still no idea where you left them, huh? We really should search more.
Ha! Yeah, and lose myself, too? No, thank you.
If Gran just had somewhere else to go, but we're the only family she's got.
Not like I can find her a new family [cheering and laughter.]
Whoo! Ha-ha! Look what Gran taught us.
[Thunk laughs.]
Whoo! Hey! Nice pelt, Grog.
Does it come in "cave men's"? [Gran laughs.]
Know what? I think I will try finding you a new family.
- Anyone need a grandma? - I do.
Bye, Grug.
Bye, new grandma.
Go ahead.
You think I like living with you, Grunk? It's Grug! Oof! Wait.
You don't want to live with us? No.
You're loud, you're obnoxious, and you always tell me what to do.
No, no, those are my complaints about you.
I had it good.
Sure, all kinds of critters tried to eat me, but none of them ever called me embarrassing.
The only one who wants me living with you is [both.]
Ugga.
So, we need to convince her that I can still take care of myself.
That's pretty hard to do when every time you come to visit, it's in the mouth of another bear owl.
[gasps.]
You big, dumb idiot.
You're a genius, Grug! It's Grug! Oh, you said it right that time.
Yeah.
All right! Hanging with the "in crowd.
" [chuckles.]
You know, I've always wondered what you guys do in here.
- You're looking at it.
- [chuckles.]
Yeah.
And you do it really well.
Uh, but what do you do for fun? I mean, I bet it's awesome, like What if we jump off cliffs? No way! What if we fell wrong? We'd look stupid! Okay.
Uh Look, Eep, now that you're in the "in crowd," you can't do anything that might make you look uncool.
Or trying too hard.
Or trying at all.
- So, that means we do nothing? - She gets it.
[gasps.]
[both grunt.]
Hey, guys, need a hand? - Sandy, do you hear something? - Huh-uh.
Look, about earlier I said some things, you said some things.
Sounds like Eep, but she'd never be here because we embarrass her.
Yeah, but it turns out that embarrassing is a whole lot more fun.
Huh.
So, what are we doing here? So, we just roll down? This is getting faster.
Whoa! [laughs.]
[all laugh.]
[all cheer.]
[Gran cackles.]
This is your plan? Who's even going to wear this? Huh? [kids laugh.]
Looks like you kids are having fun.
Who wants to have more fun? I do if I don't embarrass you too much.
Oh, all family's embarrassing, but we'll always be together.
Now, help me trick your mom so I can live on my own.
Ugga, I'm home.
Oh, no! Bear owl! I hate saying this, but help me! [gasps.]
[kids roar.]
Grug! [screams.]
[shouts.]
Get away from that big, dumb animal, you even bigger, dumb animal.
Hee-yah! Ha! Look at me taking care of myself and then some! [Gran growls, grunts.]
So, we're pretending.
Okay! More family fun.
[all gasp.]
Who should I be? [Both.]
Bear owl! Bear owl! Eh, how about I pretend to be a hunter instead? Let go of my handsome hubby, you beast! [bear owl snarls.]
[together.]
Mom, bear owl! Okay, fine.
I'll pretend to be a [snarls.]
bear owl! [growls.]
- Ugga! - Mom! [snarls.]
[Ugga grunts, pants.]
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
Oof! So not ticklish? [chuckles.]
Bet you don't remember me, do ya? [slurps.]
Oh.
You do? Well, if you want to eat this big, brave idiot, you've got to eat through my tough old hide first.
[roars.]
And if you want to eat her, you have to eat me? [growls.]
[growls.]
You want to eat one Crood, you've got to eat all the Croods! Um, I appreciate all the love, but how about it eats none of us? [Gran whimpers.]
[all scream.]
[screaming continues.]
[all gasp.]
[pants.]
Croods, family tree formation.
[grunts.]
[Thunk yelps.]
[grunts.]
[pants.]
That includes you, Gran.
[screams.]
[chuckles.]
I get the plan.
Whoa! [all.]
Whoa! [gasps.]
[all gasp.]
[laughs.]
[all scream.]
[all laugh and cheer.]
[all cheer.]
That was really cool! - Would you look at that, brother? - Ain't that something, brother? [both clap.]
[both.]
I blame you, brother.
Whoa! That was really cool! I know.
I mean, they look stupid, but also awesome.
So, is doing stuff cool now? Should we start doing stuff? Tell me, Sulk.
I need to sit down! [gasps.]
The "in crowd" doesn't know what's cool anymore.
The system has failed us.
[screams.]
Guess that's it for the "in crowd.
" Hmm, good thing I'm running with a much cooler crowd now.
Oh, yeah? Who? Our family.
We are the cooler crowd.
[gasps.]
We are? Whoo-hoo! Normally, I say "don't" to anything new, but just this once, I'll say "do.
" Do move into our cave, but only I sit on my slab.
I promise nothing Glop.
Whoa.
You two agree on something? - Yes.
We both love you.
- Aw! But we still disagree on everything else.
Oh, yeah, big time.
[Eep.]
Yes, life is changing for the Croods, but it's all working out.
Well almost.
Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum-dum ba-dum