Deadloch (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
- [NIGHT BIRD CALLS]
- [RUSTLING]
[WOMAN] I swear to God, I didn't think
that dude was gonna stop pissing.
[WOMAN 2] I know. So stop-start.
It was like your driving.
[WOMAN 1 LAUGHS] That bad?
[BOTH CONTINUE CHATTING INDISTINCTLY]
[LAUGHTER]
Agh!
Oh, my God it's
Argh! He's fuckin' dead!
Oh shit, his dick's on fire!
[GRUNTS]
Jesus Christ!
[RETCHES]
♪
[WOMAN] Happy Saturday!
You're listening to Pink Flag
on Tasmanian East Coast local radio.
And joining me now is
Deadloch Mayor, Aleyna Rahme.
[ALEYNA] Good morning, Nance.
- The Deadloch Winter Feastival starts tomorrow.
- [HEAVY BREATHING, KISSING]
It's our 14-day festival
of food, wine and culture
and we're doing a ticket
giveaway for the Klama.
- That's the Feastival's Hellenic
- [SOFT MOANING]
screaming ceremony
so call in quick to win those.
[NANCE] Alright, it's
time for some music.
Ah, this is Indigo Girls, I believe.
Oh, lovely.
[HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES]
[THE RUNAWAYS: "CHERRY BOMB"]
Can't stay at home,
can't stay at school ♪
Old folks say, "You
poor little fool" ♪
Down the streets I'm
the girl next door ♪
I'm the fox you've been waiting for ♪
Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
Hello, world ♪
No! Fern, no! No!
Use the voice, Dulce. She
needs the hierarchy reinforced.
- Good girl!
- Good girl.
- [LOW VOICE] Good girl!
- Good girl [LOW VOICE] Good girl!
Oh, my mooncup's still in. Keep going.
[DEEP VOICE] Good girl! Good girl.
Lower, Dulce, lower!
[LOWER VOICE] Good girl. Good girl.
[FERN WHINES]
[SIGHS]
- [FERN WHINES]
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Hey, no, this is an armhole.
- Dulce, your phone. It's Abby.
I'm gonna go and check on Ray's donkey.
His leg swelled up like
a gonad, apparently.
- Okay, I love you. Bye!
- I love you.
Ah, good morning Constable.
Oh, before I forget,
I've spoken to Rachel.
Ah, hold on, Constable. Sorry, who?
Rachel. From choir. She's
married to Elaine, the mezzo.
- Yep, yep, right.
- Well Rachel used to be married to Geoff Haddick
but now she's selling her
farm up near Margaret's
'cause Geoff tried to burn it down
'cause she left him
for Elaine in the choir.
Anyway, I said we'd go and
check it out tomorrow, okay?
Love you! Bye!
Sorry, check what out?
The hobby farm, to buy it.
That's a a bit premature, isn't it?
Well it's just a squiz. We've been
here for five years. Bye, Fernie!
Be good for Mummy D.
Bye, sexy. I love you.
Argh! Look at that bum!
I'll never get over it.
Okay, love you! Bye! Love you!
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
Ah, Constable, if this is about
the 'all cops are bastards' graffiti
on the Davis's bin, I
am looking right at it.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS]
- Why wasn't I alerted to this earlier?
- Sorry, ma'am.
Cath said not to call you after hours,
because you're doing no
devices between seven and seven
- for work-life balance.
- A dead body trumps work-life balance, Constable.
- I'll remember that for next time, ma'am.
- Where is your uniform, Constable Alderman?
Oh, I thought I'd still make yoga.
'Cause I bought, like, a five-day pass.
You won't be going to yoga.
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
- That's the Deadloch Football Club logo.
- I know.
- That's half-shark, half-truck.
- Yeah, I know.
That says Trent Latham. Ma'am,
I think it's Trent Latham.
Yeah, that's what we said, Abby!
Tammy, my title is
Constable Matsuda now!
Damn it.
Okay.
Run me through it.
Through what happened. Can you
run me through what happened?
Yes.
Um, the station got a call at 5:35am
saying that a body had
been found on the beach
by cousins Tammy Hampson
and Miranda Hoskins,
- both 17, and students at Deadloch High
- They're just sitting over there, Dulce.
- Yeah, I know who they are, Sven. Thank you.
- Just there.
Hi, Miss!
How's your new rescue dog?
Ah, she's settling in.
Have you two been drinking?
- Nah, Miranda's got gastro, eh.
- Six UDLs. I'm smashed.
[SIGHS]
Any sign of his personal
effects? His clothes? Phone?
- No, ma'am.
- I did spot several nangs in the bushes, Dulce.
Yes, I think those nangs
are pre-existing, Sven.
- [MOUTHS]
- Ma'am
do you think he's been murdered?
Not for us to say, Constable.
Our job is to secure the
scene and not touch anything.
I'll get onto forensics.
Oh, um
I think they're actually
already on their way, ma'am.
- They're what?
- Sorry, ma'am, it's just that
I couldn't call you
because I'm scared of Cath,
and I think that the
Deadloch Police got in trouble
last time they moved a dead
body, like, a few years ago.
So I called the forensic pathologist
and he said he'd call forensics
and Commissioner Hastings,
so I didn't embarrass myself.
So that's what he did. He called them.
There is a chain of command, Constable.
Yes, ma'am.
Full disclosure, Dulcie?
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
Also, I'm supposed to do a
wedding dress fitting later today.
- I'll move it.
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]
Tammy, delete that photo or I
will throw your phone into the sea.
- Commissioner Hastings.
- [MAN] Senior Sergeant Connell.
Ah, Collins, sir.
I hear you've got a nude
body down there. [CHUCKLES]
Bit of excitement for
sleepy old Deadloch!
Yes, and from my preliminary inspection
it does appear to be a homicide, sir.
She been sexually assaulted?
The victim is male, sir.
Is it? Right.
This sort of thing, you
just presume it's a woman.
Anyway, forensics'll be there shortly,
but all of Tassie Homicide
has been pulled onto the
Princess Mary tour as security,
so you're in charge, okay?
Me? Um
Okay, yes. Yep, right.
Just until tomorrow.
Right. Uh-huh
We've recruited an interstate
detective to lead the case.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- I'll send some boys
from Carnage Bay station to help out.
Detective will want to
hit the ground running,
so you just start the bread
and butter stuff for 'em, yeah?
Actually sir, I just, um,
I need to take a moment
to run this assignment up the chain.
- I am the chain, Connell.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
What's the problem?
Have you forgotten how to
be a homicide detective?
Ah no, sir, but I do need to have
a discussion with my wife and
Connell, I think you're
mistaking this for an invitation,
when, actually, it's an order.
You will be conducting the case until
the lead detective arrives, okay?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
[SHUTTERS CLICK, CROWD EXCLAIMS]
Right. I'm going to
have to leave you to it.
A wombat just shat on Prince Mary.
Ah, pardon me, sir.
Who are they sending?
Is it a a Sydney detective?
Nuh, some cowboy from Darwin.
A detective Eddie Redcliffe. [HANGS UP]
You fuckin' shanked that, Ronny.
Oi, Dolph hasn't seen his Dad.
Where the fuck's Coach?
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
Ken, back behind the tape, please!
Is it a dead whale, Dulcie?
Abby, keep the perimeter secure.
Yes, ma'am! Sorry, ma'am!
- Hi, Cath!
- Hi, Abby.
Sven, stay here.
I need to notify Trent's wife before
she hears about this from a dog walker.
- Dulcie!
- Aleyna!
Did you swim up here?
Yes I did, like a Russian sub.
What's going on?
- Did Kevin take a dog?
- No, no, no!
I keep saying that bloody animal
needs to be euthanised, Dulcie.
It attacked a Jack Russell yesterday.
Imagine if that dog was a tourist.
Okay, it is not the harbour seal,
Aleyna, and you cannot be in here.
Oh, please, I'm a doctor and
I'm the Mayor of the town.
I've seen my fair share
Oh, crap, that's a body.
Okay, Aleyna, you need to
get behind the tape, please.
- Who is it? Is it a local?
- I cannot
Dulcie, Amanda Palmer didn't
arrive for Feastival yesterday.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- Her event was sold out!
Do you want me to
establish time of death?
- No!
- It's just a thermometer up the arsehole.
No, I need you to put
nothing up anything, Aleyna.
- Cath.
- Hi, sexy!
Nadiyah and I just went for
brunch. She's joining the choir.
What's going on? Not
another dead whale, is it?
Uh, no. No.
- Um, it's a body.
- [GASPS] Oh, my God.
Who is it?
Cath, am I on speaker?
It's not a friend is it, Dulce?
No. It's no.
Okay. Is it a homicide?
Uh, it looks like it, yep.
Who's working the case?
- Um
- Dulce?
At the moment, me.
Dulce, you promised.
No more detective work.
But it's It is just until
the lead detective arrives.
He he The
detective comes tomorrow.
Oh, okay.
Well, are you okay?
Are you hungry? I can get
you a breakfast brioche.
No, I am fine, thanks, love.
- I do need to notify next of kin.
- [MAN] Hey, how's it going?
Tom! What are you doing here?
Tammy sent me a photo.
Oh shit! That's Trent Latham!
- Trent Latham?
- Trent Latham?
Which one's Trent again?
[SCREAMS] Trent!
Vanessa! No! Ugh!
- Vanessa! No! Stop!
- No, no. No, no, no, Vanessa! You can't!
- [GRUNTS]
- Ow!
Trent!
- Mine!
- Tammy, no!
Is it Trent?
[INHALES]
[SCREAMS] Baby!
Vanessa, I just need to
ask you a few questions
before the lead detective
arrives tomorrow.
- Was there any time
- Sorry. [WHISPERS] Sorry.
The bakery ran out of breakfast
brioche, so I got you fruit toast.
- Okay.
- Is that okay?
Alright. Yep, thank you, love. Thanks.
It's watermelon and mint.
- Okay, thanks. Thanks, Cath.
- Sorry!
- No, that's
- Didn't get you guys anything.
That's really okay,
Cath. Thank you. Alright.
Um
Uh, Vanessa, it's important that we
figure out your husband's movements.
- Were you with Trent last night?
- Yes, at home.
Okay, and what did your night entail?
We ate tuna mornay,
watched Ninja Warrior,
and then at 11pm we
went to bed [SNIFFLES]
and made love.
Right, and can anyone verify that?
My son, Dolph. He
probably heard, didn't you?
[INHALES SHAKILY]
Uh
Okay, and, um
Did you hear Trent
leave the house at all?
No, I already told you,
I woke up this morning
and Trent was just gone.
I thought he was at footy training.
At 7am.
When will the real detective arrive?
Ah, shortly. Would Trent have
taken his mobile with him, Vanessa?
Am I gonna have to say
all this to him as well?
- If you could just answer the question?
- Of course he would have had his phone on him.
Did you check his pockets?
He was naked. Oh, my God!
[SOBS]
- Ah um
- [SLURPING]
Trent went to the Beast
Factory gym yesterday,
- but it was closed to the public
- Yes, for deodorising.
Okay, and what about his brother, Gavin?
It's my understand
that he co-owns the gym.
Was he helping out his brother
with the to deodorise the
No, Gavin was down at the harbour,
putting decals on the boat for
their new business, Pro-Bro.
[SNIFFLES]
It's protein.
For bros. [SOBS]
[SOBS]
Vanessa, was Trent involved
in any illegal activity?
No!
Trent was a pillar of this community.
His family are a Deadloch dynasty.
They've been here since the '60s.
I mean, everybody in Deadloch
loved Trent, didn't they?
Didn't they?
[SOBS]
[SLURPS]
Oh, Sven, we need to check all the
trail cameras along the beachfront
for vision from last night.
Hopefully there's one that
hasn't been smashed in.
[SVEN] Yeah, absolutely. Now
who do I delegate that to?
Ah, yourself, Sven.
You go down there and you
look at the cameras yourself.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Okay, hang tight, peeps. Bye!
[HANGS UP]
Any word on the autopsy?
The forensic pathologist
can't do it today.
He's on a bike ride.
Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
About fuckin' time you cunts showed up!
Been calling youse all morning.
Some cunt stole me copper wire.
Got six grand worth of crays
going off in the deep freeze.
We're not here about
the copper wire, Gavin.
Oh, this is about fuckin' Sharelle
and that restraining order?
How many times I gotta tell you, okay?
It is not my fault
if the only Deadloch pub that
I haven't been banned from
is the one that she works at.
- Gavin, listen.
- What?
Your brother's body showed up
on Deadloch Beach this morning.
[SHOUTS] Fuck!
Oh
Oh, fuck!
Are you shitting me? You're
pulling my dick, aren't ya?
No, I'm not doing that.
I'm very sorry, Gavin.
Fuck!
Oh
Well, I know who fuckin' did it.
It was fuckin' bitch Mayor.
Or it was that fuckin'
singing bitch on the bike.
Or that fuckin' dyke lesbian chef bitch.
She said she wanted to
kill me and Trent heaps.
And she said she wanted to kill
fuckin' Sam, and probably Jimmy too.
Oh, she's a fuckin' man-hater!
When was the last time
you saw Trent, Gavin?
- I didn't fuckin' do it!
- That is not what I'm asking.
Yesterday I was doing the boat,
and yesterday night I was
here with me mate Jimmy.
Oi, Jimmy, get out here!
What?
Fuck, mate Trent's dead.
- Fuck!
- I was here with you last night,
- wasn't I Jimmy?
- No, don't answer that!
- Yeah. - Yeah, see?
- No, don't answer that!
You shut up. I was
fuckin' here, wasn't I?
- I said yeah!
- Alright, well, fuck off, Jimmy!
What happened to your windscreen, Gavin?
[MIMICS] What happened to your
windscreen? Are you fuckin' serious?
I've told you this a million times.
The Chinese mafia did that to
me. They're fuckin' after me.
Or it was Sharelle.
Fuckin' charge her too.
I know what you fuckin' femmos
think of me, alright? I see it.
But it's a double standard,
'cause I'm the victim here.
I'll ask you to stop
pacing, if possible, Gavin.
- Have you seen Trent's mobile?
- Nuh.
Any idea where it might be?
Trent's dead.
I loved that cunt like a brother.
He was your brother.
Fuck! My brother!
- [BELL DINGS]
- Hey! Hey!
Claire!
[ABBY] Ma'am, Cath called to remind you
about Skye's menu tasting tonight.
- Uh-huh.
- I think she thinks I'm your PA.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Did you forget?
- Ah, no, no.
- It starts in five minutes.
Of course not. Uh-huh.
It should be illegal to ride
a bike at night with no lights.
It is illegal.
- Forensics are just, uh, packing up.
- Right.
Hey, look at this board!
Did you go to Officeworks?
I did.
Did forensics find anything?
Ah, nothing, no.
No clothing, no fabric
fibres, no DNA, no footprints.
- Hey, don't do that!
- Oh, this is cerulean!
I love cerulean.
Sorry, Sven, you're saying they
didn't find any evidence anywhere?
- Ah, well, they did find more nangs.
- Great.
How'd you go with the trail cameras?
All smashed to bits.
I think because of the nangs.
What about the cameras at the harbour?
Yes, I didn't check them because
I wasn't aware they existed.
- They do.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
[ABBY] Was that Cath?
She messaged me too.
Yeah.
I really have to
Okay. I'm off.
I've still gotta clean the penis
graffiti off the school desks
before the Carnage Bay
cops arrive tomorrow morning
for the briefing.
- But I could finish the rest of the board.
- Don't touch the board!
Okay.
[GENTLE CLINKING]
[LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
Evening, Jimmy.
Yeah, good, thanks.
You got any idea why that
security camera's smashed?
Dunno.
Birds?
Ah, this vessel you're on
belongs to Phil McGangus, correct?
Depends who's asking.
Ah, me. It's me who's asking, Jimmy.
- Yeah, it is.
- Mm-hm.
Hey, don't call him.
It's 9pm! I'll cop it!
I'm gonna follow this
up tomorrow, Jimmy.
Follow up what, but?
What, but?
- [SIREN WAILS]
- [MAN] VKB, Oscar 23.
[MAN 2] Go ahead, Oscar 23.
[MAN 1] Show this unit
clear of Deadloch Beach
and engaged heading to
Hobart to the mortuary.
Also show the Forensic Unit and
Mortuary Ambulance following us in.
[MAN 2] Roger that.
[OMINOUS CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS]
To Trent!
[ALL] To Trent.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SOBS]
[INAUDIBLE]
Going the wrong way.
Hey!
You're going the wrong way!
Hobart's the other way!
- [BRAKES SQUEAL]
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- [BEEPING]
- Yeah, wait there, wait there.
- Yeah, you're clear now.
- Back, back, back.
Yeah come back, mate. Back, back.
- [OMINOUS MUSIC RESUMES]
- [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[SOBS]
[INAUDIBLE]
- To Trent.
- [ALL] Trent.
Lace out, boys. This is for you, coach!
Fuck, Ronny. You hit Coach!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Good morning.
- Where's the detective?
- Palpably not here. Let's get started.
- Trent Latham was found at 5.30
- Hey, what's the wi-fi password?
Ah, I can answer that.
It's lower case, all one
word, 'three little pigs'.
Trent Latham was found at
5.35am on Deadloch Beach.
He was naked and without
any personal effects.
So far there are no
witnesses and no suspect.
Autopsy is pending, so cause
of death is still unknown.
Was he strangled?
That is for the forensic
pathologist to decide, Constable.
I reckon Gavin did
it. He's a loose unit.
A solid centre-half forward
back in the day, though.
Like I said, we have
no suspects. Moving on.
You're on digital, you
are on documentation.
Abby, how did you go getting the
footage from Phil McGangus's boat?
- He hung up on me.
- Okay, perfect.
Right, first things first
Oh, fuck me! It's colder
than a witch's tit out there.
Ooh. Oh!
Oh! Hey. G'day.
- Ah, I'm sorry. You can't be here
- G'day. G'day.
- Sorry, you're not
- Ah, Sven, can you
- G'day, g'day, g'day, g'day.
- Excuse me, this is a restricted area.
Hang on a second. My ears
are blocked from the plane.
[INHALES] Oh!
- Okay.
- Better. Okay! [CLAPS]
Detective Eddie Redcliffe is my name.
I am from Darwin.
I'm running the show and I need
a Coke. Who wants to action that?
- Yep.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
- Ah, Detective
I am Senior Sergeant
Collins, Deadloch Police.
I didn't expect you to
be a w w arriving,
uh, when you did arrive,
early, and I started a briefing.
Ripper. Well, I'm here now,
so resume regular
programming, Sergeant.
Senior. Ah, it's Senior Sergeant.
But I actually used to
be a detective, Detective.
Oh, yeah. One of them, are ya?
- Alright, dead man in Dead Lake.
- Ah
- Loch. Loch.
- Yep, whatever.
Right, let's get this
thing over with. Now
the first 24 hours of an
investigation are crucial so
how long has shrivel dick
been dead for? Big Eyes?
Um, he was discovered
27 hours ago, ma'am.
Ah, right.
Well, you've fucked that
up already, haven't ya?
- Er
- Ah, not to worry. Jason Statham.
Trent Latham.
What do we know about him? Big Eyes.
- Um
- Don't look at her. Don't look at her.
Ah, Trent was is
was Deadloch born and bred.
He was the boys' football coach.
He owned the Beast Factory 14-hour gym
and he lived upstairs with his
wife, Vanessa, and son, Dolph.
He was a self-described
fitness entrepreneur.
En Entrepr
- Um, he
- Keep going, yeah. Keep going.
He used to work at the sawmill
before it got shut down.
The night he died he had tuna mornay
- Why?
- His parents are dead.
He spat at me at a traffic stop once.
- I think he just didn't see me, though
- Detective, all of the relevant
Right, cause of death!
Well, that's easy. I
mean, look at the neck.
It is ringbarked. But
how did it happen, you know?
We have some options. Yeah.
Maybe did it to himself.
You know, maybe it was
a bit of one of these?
You know, one of those Oh! You know?
[MIMICS CHOKING]
"Oh, it's too hard!
Oh, no, it's too soft!"
You know? Very popular way to go.
What do you reckon, Sarge?
Bit of a tug-gone-wrong?
Hmm.
I think that
autoerotic
asphyxiation can't be, uh
conclusively ruled out
until after the autopsy.
But I feel that from
all the evidence that
I'm tickling your sack. [LAUGHS]
He was strangled. So
It's a small town, he's
a good-looking bloke.
He probably had a busy dick
and that's what got him whacked.
- These the suspects?
- Ah, no, that is Trent's family.
Think you need a
homicide refresher, mate.
It's always the family, right?
Uh uh
Right, who is the psycho
with the 25-page rap sheet?
That is Gavin Lathan,
Trent Latham's brother
and business partner
and I doubt that he has
the nuance to pull this off.
Gavin Latham, look at the mug!
Psycho Killer ♪
Qu'est-ce que c'est ♪
Fa-fa, fa-fa, fa-fa, fa-fa, fa, fa ♪
You better run, run, run, run ♪
Run, run, run away ♪
Oh-oh, oh-oh! ♪
Hi, ya, ya, ya! ♪♪
Then the guitar comes in. Ooh, yeah.
- I'll have a hoon on that. Thank you.
- Cath dropped off your lunch, too.
- I don't want that now.
- It's your lunch.
- I don't want it now.
- She dropped it off.
- Can you please put it
- Alright, so psycho killer did it.
He killed his brother, so let's
get him in for questioning ASAP.
I want to get this thing
wrapped up in record-o time-o.
Alright! Fly, my piggies! Fly, fly, fly!
I've got an autopsy to get to.
Um, ah, the autopsy hasn't
been confirmed yet, Detective.
Mm! Um, yeah, it has.
They, ah, they called me direct.
Right, well, I'll accompany you, then.
Mmm!
No, no, you're right, Sarge.
You've probably got a stolen
wheelbarrow to find or something.
Big cop's in town
now. Alright, Big Eyes!
Come with me. I need a driver.
- Um
- Come on!
- Keep me updated.
- Yes, ma'am.
Sorry, ma'am.
Dulce, Kevin the seal
is back on the foreshore.
So who would I delegate
that to, would you say?
I can take that, Sven. That
would be an absolute honour.
Wonderful. 'Cause I have to book
the detective into the Bush Wolf.
Like, this close to Feastival, it's
the only accommodation available.
It's $400 a night!
[WHISPERS] Good. That's good.
[LOUD JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
Can we turn off the jazz, please?
[TURNS DOWN VOLUME]
- I said off
- So, time of death was between 3 and 4am.
No foreign DNA on the body.
No fabric fibres, ergo,
it's been thoroughly cleaned.
The victim has sustained some
superficial cuts and bruising
consistent with a
fist-fight prior to TOD.
It's, ah, 'time of death', yeah?
Toxicology report is pending,
but stomach contents reveal
his last meal was approximately
10 hours before death,
roughly 800g of steak.
Steak? Nothing else?
Nein. Just the rib-eye.
Minor blunt object trauma to
the underside of the skull.
Bruising and a small cut,
and I retrieved this shard of
pink ceramic from the wound.
Don't worry, it'll get tested.
Now, ah
I know what you're thinking,
Detective, but [CHUCKLES]
that wound is actually
far too shallow to kill him.
- I didn't think it did, mate.
- It's entirely superficial.
- Got it.
- Couldn't have killed him.
- Uh-huh.
- Too shallow.
So the actual cause of death,
Detective Inspector, is
Strangulation.
There's conjunctival, petechial
haemorrhaging, facial oedema,
and the lacerations on the neck
suggest garrotting with
some kind of wire, okay?
See ya.
Ooh!
So close, Detective.
So close, but there's
actually a little
little detail that you missed.
[WOMAN ON SPEAKER] Evans
strangled her, boiled her,
then, over the next month,
this loving father ate his wife.
- [WOMAN 2 ON SPEAKER] Oh, my God.
- Ugh, have you met that
fuckin' Forensic Pathologist?
- Yeah.
- He's a fuckin' bell-end, honestly.
What an insufferable cunt!
Right, come on. I need
to get to the widow.
- [STARTS ENGINE]
- Oh, God.
is Adelaide always this cold?
[ABBY] I don't know, ma'am.
I've never been to Adelaide.
Yes, I understand how
a warrant works, Phil.
But if I'm requesting a
warrant for your camera,
then I may as well write up
the illegal number of craypots
Jimmy had on your boat last night and
Yeah, that'd be incredibly
helpful, thank you, Phil.
Just drop the tapes at the station.
Why can't we use the leaf blower, Gez?
Because it's on the charge, sweetpea.
Dulcie, Kevin's blocking
the bridge again.
The Feastival lantern parade
goes over here tomorrow night.
What do you expect
everyone to do? Just
Oh, just step over him,
like they're scissoring an
aquatic turd? Get your gun.
- What? No.
- Get your gun!
I'm not gonna get my gun, Aleyna.
We can just lure him off with some food.
Oh, no we can't, because
your wife won't let us.
Okay, then we shoo him
away like we did last time.
Come on, shoo, Kevin!
- Shhh!
- Piss off, Kevin!
[GEZ] Off you pop!
Oh, if I had been allowed to just
put him down after Rod Dixon died,
this wouldn't be happening right now.
[GEZ] Well, you know Mike Nugent.
He was still on the force
when Rod's body was found.
He said Rod's nose and
lips were chewed off
and his tongue was totally gone.
He's a monster.
Sorry, what are you two on about?
Kevin, Dulcie.
After Mayor Dixon drowned
in that boat accident,
his body washed up onto the beach
and Kevin ate his dead face off.
Sorry, Mayor Dixon's body
was found on the beach, too?
Yes. And it's like I said
in the pest control WhatsApp,
when those things get a taste for
our blood, we become their prey.
Kevin will kill one day, Dulcie.
And if it happens at my lantern parade,
and he eats a lesbian from
the mainland, that's on you.
[BEEPS HORN]
Hey, sexy!
You're not feeding Kevin, are
you? It just encourages him.
Hi, Aleyna! How's your head?
I feel like I've been
in a washing machine.
I should not be driving!
You ready to go, my love?
Yeah. Yep.
- Is it in?
- What's going on around here?
North Pole hard rubbish?
It's for the Deadloch Winter
Feastival. It's a month of food, art
- Is this us?
- Yes.
Hey, ma'am, would you
mind if I joined you?
Unless you usually work alone.
No. I, er, don't. Didn't.
- Suit yourself, Aggie.
- It's Abby. Thank you.
- I'm actually a huge true crime junkie.
- Don't talk.
Okay.
[SNORES]
She sounds like a wood-chipper.
Doctor-Mayor Rahme
prescribed her tranquilisers.
No worries.
I'll just have a little chat
with you until she wakes up.
So, um, remind me again.
What'd you lot get
up to on Friday night?
We, um, ate dinner, and then
everyone went to bed at 11pm.
And what was it th that
you all had for dinner again?
Uh, tuna mornay.
Really? Tuna mornay.
Cream of the sea.
[THUMPS TABLE LOUDLY]
[SNORES]
That's solid. That is
That's a good hard
table. Is that oak, is it?
It's Anko.
Oak veneer.
What happened there?
Uh, I kicked that hole.
With my schoolbag.
What about this? What's this, Doug?
- Uh, I'm Dolph.
- Don't lie to me.
I'm not.
Oops.
Sorry about that. I'm a bit of
a butter-fingers Barry today.
I should get back to
funeral preparations.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quick one.
Um
what was your Mum and Uncle
Gavin's relationship like?
Good. Close. Normal.
Close to normal.
So I was thinking this paddock here
could be for regenerative farming.
We just need 400 ducks.
Cath, would a seal eat human flesh?
Is this about euthanising Kevin?
I've told Aleyna, Kevin is
not a man-eater. He eats fish.
And squid, and sausages
from the public barbecue.
Are you with me, love?
Yeah, sorry, love. I
am. I am I am here
in this paddock
with the burnt sheep skull.
Yeah, well obviously this
place needs some work,
but if we don't move
fast, it's going to go to
some cashed-up climate
migrant from the mainland.
Just doesn't buying now reduce our
10-year plan by roughly 10 years?
I am not turning 50 in a house
without a permanent compost system.
It's barbaric.
I know you don't like change, Dulce,
but it's time that we just start
thinking about our
forever-Deadloch-home
to match our forever-Deadloch-life.
A place where we can
grow old and die.
- [PHONE BUZZES]
- Oh gosh, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Ah, so sorry, Cath. I
do have to take this.
No probs, I'll just measure out
the dimensions of the Dog Motel.
- Constable.
- Sorry to bother you, ma'am, but quick question.
Can you interview a minor if
their guardian is unconscious?
Ah, no, you cannot.
Okay, and what about
collecting evidence?
Do you need a warrant for that?
Did the detective collect
evidence without a warrant?
- Maybe.
- Unbelievable.
Sorry, this is all my fault, somehow.
Has she been to the crime scene?
Did she mention boats? The tide?
Um, we haven't been,
because she didn't want to
"freeze her nips off on a beach
when she already knows it's the
psycho killer brother Gavin." Her words.
- Right, Big Eyes!
- I gotta go. I'll report back.
Sorry, love. That was
Is that the detective? What's
he like? Is he a dick-swinger?
Yeah.
Yep, you could say that.
Oh, I'm glad he's arrived,
'cause I need you to help me
reinvigorate the worm farm tomorrow.
I'll have to show you the septic
tank another time. We'll be late.
- For what?
- Choir!
I need grub. What's the
pub situation in this town?
Um, the Bush Wolf is a gastro-pub.
Oh, I wouldn't be putting
that on a business card.
No, where does our mate Gavin go?
The Devil's Doorbell, but we don't..
- They do parmas?
- Yes, ma'am.
Good! I'm hungrier than
a bum in a G-string.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
I actually grew up in Deadloch.
The town used to be all abalone
fishing, old-growth logging,
getting pregnant and
going through with it.
But since Ms Rahme became Mayor
five years ago, it's changed heaps.
We've got an arthouse
cinema, smart bins.
Also, the community's
gotten so much cooler.
We're full of gay people now.
Hi, Sharelle, how's it going?
Okay.
What's the deal with
that forensic pathologist?
Oh, um, he's actually my
Silver spoon wedged
so far down his throat
it was coming out his
arsehole like a little tail.
[MIMICS] Lingua amputo.
No need for the Latin, mate.
You're not a botanist on
the First fuckin' Fleet.
[BURPS]
I'm goin' for a piss.
[GRUNTS]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[CHOIR] Ooh ♪
I love myself ♪
Do, do, doo ♪
I want you to love me ♪
When I feel down ♪
Do, do, doo ♪
I want you above me ♪
I search myself ♪
Do, do, doo ♪
I want you to find me ♪
I forget myself ♪
I want you to remind me ♪
Doo, do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
I don't want anybody else ♪
When I think about you ♪
I touch myself ♪
Oh, I don't want anybody else ♪
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no ♪
- [CHOIR HARMONISES AS BACKING]
- [SPEAKS] I want you.
I don't want anybody else.
And when I think about you.
I touch myself.
- [CHOIR CONTINUES HARMONISING]
-
[CATH] Oh!
Oh!
Ah!
[CHOIR] La! [CONTINUES SONG]
Sorry, honey, I've got
a bit of a headache.
I'm just gonna walk home.
But you stay. I'll be fine.
- Yeah. Okay, sexy.
- Okay.
I just I haven't nailed
the orgasm break yet.
- Right. Okay, I love you.
- Love you.
Okay. And good luck with
that, um, with the orgasm.
Oh, I don't want ♪
I touch myself ♪
Anybody else ♪
I touch myself ♪
I touch myself ♪
When I think about you ♪
I touch myself! ♪♪
[RAIN POURS]
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[HINGES SQUEAL]
- Yep?
- Another schooner.
You know Gavin Latham?
Looks like a cross between
a bulldog and a hammer.
Yeah. A bit.
A bit?
Well, I had a kid with him.
- Oh, yeah?
- He's a cunt.
Well, if you see him,
tell him I want a word.
[EXHALES]
- Um, yeah. So, I'm working again.
- [BEEPING]
I'm on a case in Tasmania.
- [BEEPING]
- Fuck me.
Uh But yeah, once it's
done, I'll be back up north.
Fuck! You little fucker!
Um Not you, Holly. Ah
Yeah, I'll probably
be back this weekend.
You know, come over for a barbie.
Bring a bag of chops,
yeah? Like old times.
Well, not exactly like old times, but
Yeah.
Alright! Toorah.
- Detective.
- Oh, fuck!
Can I have a word, please?
[EXHALES]
Detective, I believe
that there's a chance
that you're wrong about Gavin
Latham killing his brother.
Oh, yeah? Why's that?
I've become well acquainted with
Gavin over the last five years
and I question whether
he's capable of doing this.
For instance, there was
no evidence at the scene,
no footprints, no DNA, nothing
that would indicate that anything
- This has no door.
- What?
- Go in there. Sit down.
- In
[CLEARS THROAT] I um
Ah
Whoever killed Trent was careful
and and considered. Intelligent.
Oh, bullshit. Gavin's a suss cunt
and that widow's story's got more
holes in it than a swinger's party.
They're banging. You know, from here
I get a full view of you doing
your business. A full view.
- What about the tongue, Detective?
- What?
Lingua amputo. His tongue was missing.
Ohh! Is that what that means?
I thought it was a bit of this.
La, la, la, la, la, la
- No.
- What's that?
That That is cunnilingus.
Oh, well, Trent probably bit it
off when he was being strangled.
You know, pound for pound,
the human jaw is stronger
than a chimp's jaw.
Read that on the back of a
panty liner once. Look, sorry
this has really disturbed me.
Is this toilet just decorative?
Do rich people not shit?
- What's this?
- It's a case file.
Five years ago, Deadloch's
Mayor, Rod Dixon,
washed up dead on the
same beach as Trent Latham.
His tongue was also missing.
- There are no photos.
- Exactly.
And according to this,
it was a boating accident,
he was fully clothed and his
tongue was eaten by a seal.
- Jesus, what?
- But the lack of photos shows that
protocol clearly wasn't followed,
so I am questioning the validity
of the police ruling on that.
And I'm questioning why I'm
standing in a haunted perve room
- being shown a big bunch of nothing.
- Look with all due respect, Detective,
- I think that this is much bigger
- With all due respect?
- Why do you give a shit, mate?
- I give a sh I
care deeply, mate,
because you are
investigating the wrong person
and you are underestimating
whoever did kill Trent.
I believe that this is
bigger than one death.
I think that there is a
connection between these two deaths,
and someone the
killer, is still out there.
Oh, the killer! Listen, I get it.
You must be bored shitless
writing parking tickets
- in this Arctic pisshole of a town
- That is not it.
- I am very fulfilled in this place, and in my job.
- But-but I am running this case, not you,
and tomorrow morning,
I'm booking Gavin Latham.
- That's not right.
- Oh, I agree.
I should be asleep.
In my bed, in Darwin.
Not chit-chatting to Sergeant Horse Hair
next to a fuckin' invisible bathroom.
Now let yourself out.
I am not touching that door
again. It is fucking cooked.
[SIGHS]
[FERN WHINES SOFTLY]
Commissioner Hastings.
Yeah, do you have a minute?
Collins, sir. With two Ls.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Ma'am, Phil McGangus just dropped off
- the security camera footage from his trawler.
- Mm-hm.
Maybe I'm more
intimidating than I thought.
- Watch it, tell me if you spot anything.
- Okay.
Have you seen the pest control WhatsApp?
Well, Kevin's back on the foreshore
and Aleyna wants you to
go down there with a taser.
- Now, we have
- Senior Sergeant!
I just got off a phone call with
Commissioner What's-his-dick.
You'll never guess who's
working the case with me now!
Well, I spoke to the
Commissioner this morning
and he agreed with me that
I should stay on the
That you should fuck all of my
cavities till I'm one big hole?
- That I should continue to work the case
- Big Eyes!
Where's the brother?
I want to talk to him now.
He's not returning any
of our phone calls, ma'am.
Yeah, of course he's not.
He's a fuckin' murderer,
not your fuckin' nan.
You, drag that dick-nut in
here. We're charging him. Oh!
You cannot arrest a person
without evidence, Detective.
Get the stick out of your arse!
There's no need for you
to ride my dick this hard.
I'm not going to be in town
long enough for us to, you know,
bump titties.
Sorry to break it to
you, but by midday today,
you're gonna be back
babysitting that walrus.
- It's a seal.
- [ABBY] Detective?
- [BOTH] Yes.
- I was just looking at the boat footage
and I think there's something
maybe you should see. Maybe?
Oh, bum, I've gone too far.
- I'll rewind.
- Mm-hm.
What are we doing here, guys?
Lack of liver mortis on the body
suggests that Trent
was moved after death,
and his position on the sand
suggests the killer
knew the high tide times
and used that to wash away
evidence from the body.
So Gavin dragged the body to the
beach for a little bath. Who cares?
No, no. Forensics combed the
foreshore. It wasn't disturbed.
I don't think that the
killer got there by land.
I think they transported
Trent to the beach by boat
to avoid detection.
It's like I said last night,
Detective. This killer is smart.
Did ya? I wasn't listening.
Abby! Do you need to get to
your wedding dress fitting?
I can stay.
No, it is okay. I do know how
to use a computer, Constable.
Don't Oh.
Okay.
- That is already plugged in.
- Oh fuck!
- Just press that!
- No, I am. I was going to.
- Just press that!
- I am using the mouse to do that.
Okay.
Whose fuckin' ute's that?
Gavin's. And that's the Pro-Bro boat.
- What, the sloop on the left?
- No, the one on the other side.
Who's this A-frame motherfucker?
That's Trent.
- What time is it?
- Ah, 22:56.
Oh, well, he should be at home
eating tuna mornay
and banging his missus.
Well, I am fuckin' shocked.
I need to drag that widow in.
Ooh, he's not a happy chappy, is he?
There's something on that phone.
- Oh, it just went in the water.
- Who cares?
We're about to get front-row
seats to a fuckin' murder!
Here we go, here we go, here we go! ♪
- Can you just not
- Here we go, here we go, here we go! ♪
[LAUGHS] Oh.
What is that?
It is two seagulls copulating.
Well, give them some
privacy! Fuckin' fast-forward!
- That is not the button.
- What does it?
- Don't. You have to
- What does it? What does the thing?
Like that.
[CONTINUES CLICKING]
Okay.
Well.
Looks like our brothers
took a little trip together.
Wonder what happened next, Sarge.
That was forensics.
The shard from Trent's head wound
matches a plate at the Latham's.
Oh, the plate that you stole.
The evidence that I collected
that shows the whole thing
started that night at their joint.
[SVEN] Oh, my God, you guys,
I just saw a leafy sea dragon!
- And what about Trent's phone, Sven?
- I can't see it.
But, then, I always knew that
Maldives scuba course would pay off,
- and I fucked the instructor!
- This is a fuckin' waste of time.
Forget the phone. We need to
go and arrest this dickshit now.
Well we need evidence for any
charges to stick, Detective.
Legally acquired evidence.
Sven, get back down
there and keep looking!
Alright, but, honestly, I think
you guys should get in here.
The ocean flora at Lutruwita
is just stunning. It's stunning!
Oi! I want a word with you.
Tell your cop mates
to stop harassing me.
I already told them I haven't seen Gavin
since he came into the Doorbell,
flopped his dick on the bar and left.
- When?
- Yesterday.
Oh, that rat-fucker's
up and bailed, hasn't he?
He still owes me six weeks
of fuckin' child support!
Oi, Cirque du Soleil, we need
to get to Gavin's joint now.
I got it!
Got Trent's phone.
[EDDIE] Trent's last
message is from Gavin.
It says, "I want you, Vanessa.'"
- There's a photo, too.
- What is it?
- What am I looking at here?
- Hang on, I'm pulling over.
- What am I looking at here?
- Wait.
What is that?
Oh, okay. Well that,
um that's Gavin's
penis. Um
It was accidentally
sent to Trent's phone.
That was sent just before the fight.
Ha! So I was right.
- Gavin and Vanessa are bumping fuglies.
- [MAN ON RADIO] Senior Sergeant Collins,
we cannot locate
Vanessa and Dolph Latham.
I repeat, we cannot locate
Vanessa and Dolph Latham.
Yeah, no shit, mate.
They're on a fuckin' discount
flight to Bali with Gavin.
You know, this is why you probably
didn't make a very good detective, mate.
You know, you just can't go
the extra mile like I can.
- [ENGINE REVS]
- Hold on! Oi!
This is black gold, mate.
All units, keep a
lookout for Gavin Latham,
wanted in relation to
the death of Trent Latham.
Priors for family violence,
aggravated assault,
stalking and public urination.
Approach with caution.
Approach This is mine!
Also Also guys, g'day,
keep a lookout for
accomplices to the murder.
Ah, Vanessa Latham, approximately
five-two, four-eight. Blonde. Tits.
- And Dolphin Latham.
- Dolph! Dolph Latham.
[EDDIE] Dolph Latham.
And how old's he, 10?
He is seven He's 17.
[BOTH SPEAK INDISTINCTLY]
That's better. Should we
put on some music, baby?
- Ooh yes, Taylor Swift
- I got it, I got it, I got it.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
Mm? Yeah? Smooth?
- Yeah, smooth.
- Yeah?
Definitely no phone, Dulce.
Lots of nangs, though.
Dulce?
Dulcie?
So, my old school did a
production of Rent in Year 9
and I played this guy called Roger.
He was like a drug addict
and had AIDS and depression
Tombo, I know we've only been
friends for, like, five minutes,
but can I give you some feedback?
Enough with the musical theatre talk.
Keep your interests to yourself, yeah?
I don't bang on about being the
best footballer in Lutruwita, do I?
- Yes, you do.
- All the time.
Did Aunty Fay ground you?
- Yeah, but she's not home now.
- [THUNDER RUMBLES]
She's doing the Acknowledgement
of Country for that opening thing,
which I'm a bit shocked about,
given how much she swore last year.
- What are you doing?
- I'm looking for my earring.
I lost it here the other night.
Unless I left it
[ENGINE ROARS DISTANTLY]
Is that the Pro-Bro boat?
Where are they going?
You can take that in
more. That's just bloat.
- Vanessa!
- What?
- Sorry, babe, I'll be right back.
- Uh
- Gavin, open
- Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Ugh That was open.
[GRUNTS]
[WHISPERS] Oi! This way!
No, Detective, this way! We go this way.
Oh! [EXHALES]
[THUD]
[THUD]
- Put your hands up!
- I'm not doin' nothin'!
Oh, fuck!
- Where's Gavin?
- This is my copper wire!
I don't care, Jimmy. Where's Gavin?
I don't know! I haven't seen
him since yesterday night.
[ABBY] Detectives!
I think I've spotted Vanessa Latham.
She's headed to the Feastival opening.
- Tail her, Aggie. Tail her!
- Yes, ma'am.
- Excuse me! Excuse me! Sorry.
- [CHOIR SINGS "I TOUCH MYSELF"]
Sorry, police! Excuse me, police!
When I feel down ♪
Do, do, doo ♪
I want you above me ♪
I search myself ♪
Do, do, doo ♪
I want you to find me ♪
I forget myself ♪
I want you to remind me ♪
I don't want anybody else ♪
When I think about you ♪
I touch myself ♪
Oh, I don't want anybody else ♪
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no ♪
[CHOIR HARMONISES] You're the one ♪
Who makes me come running ♪
Makes me come ♪
You're the sun who makes me shine ♪
Makes me shi-i-i-i-ine ♪
When you're around,
I'm always laughing ♪
Ha, ha, ha! ♪
I wanna make you mine ♪
I close my eyes
And see you before me ♪
Vanessa's headed towards the beach,
past the Feastival stage!
[EDDIE] What are you doing?
Th There are people on the road!
We're cops! Put your fuckin' thing on!
- Okay, fine. Fine.
- Fuck.
[SIREN WAILS]
When I think about
you I touch myself ♪
[APPLAUSE]
Okay.
Now I'd like to invite local
Palawa woman, Fay Hampson,
to perform the Welcome to Country.
Actually, Mayor Rahme, this
is not a Welcome to Country.
It's an Acknowledgement of Country.
I'm not welcoming any of you.
[SIREN ENDS]
[EDDIE] Coming through!
Hi Dulce! How'd you go with choir?
[FAY] Well, enjoy your
food and culture festival.
I mean, it's no oldest-culture-on-earth,
but those lanterns are some fun
bit of bullshit, aren't they?
Okay, bye, then.
She went that way! [GASPS FOR AIR]
- Follow us!
- Yes, ma'am!
Abby! Who was that woman with Dulcie?
The detective?
He's a woman?
- Where the fuck is she?
- [CATH] Dulcie!
Are you working on the
case and didn't tell me?
Oh, Cath, I'm in pursuit!
And you lied to me about the detective.
Why did you lie to me about her?
Vanessa! Stop right there!
Frig off! This is a memorial!
Just let us memorialise Trent in peace!
- Oh!
- What the fuck is this?
[LOUD GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
It's Gavin!
[INDISTINCT MURMURING]
[VANESSA] Gavin, no!
Everybody, get back!
- [KEVIN GROANS]
- Good girl. Good girl.
- [TWANG]
- [GROANS]
[KEVIN GRUNTS SOFTLY, EXHALES]
Detective.
Fuck my arse!
Lingua amputo.
♪