Eagleheart (2010) s01e01 Episode Script
Get Worse Soon
I've got good news, Emily.
Your daddy wired the ransom into my account, so I no longer need you.
Xavier, when you get up to I want to hear you go splat, little lady.
Sorry about that, vargas, but you can't board a plane with more than two bags -- scumbags, that is.
Marshal Chris monsanto.
Who's the new partner? The name's trace domino.
Wow.
Maybe this one will survive.
Sorry, vargas.
You can't board a flight with more than two bags.
Hold on.
Coming up with a witticism.
Diamond gene! Oh! Oh, I swear I will adopt your look in tribute to your life.
Thanks.
There goes your new partner.
Not again, vargas.
Wait.
Wait a second.
How -- how many bags can you take on a plane again? Wishbone! You know something? The first bullet I put in you is for diamond gene.
The second one is for wishbone, and the third one is for that other guy -- what's his face -- the guy that wore the trench coat.
You are outnumbered.
Leapfrog? Leapfrog.
All right, you got it.
Trace! Let's dance.
I'll lead.
No more, Chris! You killed him! Killer! Aah! Why did you kill him?! Chris, I'd hoped you'd never have to use that level again.
Yeah, well, chief, after today I won't have to.
I'm done with having a partner.
That's why we're giving you two partners.
I'd like you to meet Brett mobley and susie Wagner.
Trace was a great marshal.
I'm sorry about your partner, man.
That blows.
I once had a sandwich that I loved that I dropped on the ground.
Uh, okay.
Good.
Um, hey, chief.
Look.
I really don't need Chaz Bono and Renee Richards over there gumming up works now, okay? Quite the opposite, monsanto.
Two partners is just what you need.
That way when vargas kills one of them, you'll only be half as sad.
Vargas? Vargas is dead.
UmThat's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.
He's not "dead dead.
" He's in critical condition at city hospital.
I see.
Okay.
Fine.
Well, you know something, chief, why don't you get somebody to move those pictures over to the "unavenged" side, okay? There's something I need to finish.
Chris, not in a hospital! After him, you two.
Excuse me.
Um, have you seen this autopsy report? It says you were strangled to death.
But, of course, these reports can often be wrong.
Time of death -- now.
Good news, bullets.
It's moving day.
You'll be living in vargas from now on.
Call me at Thanksgiving.
Chris, what are you doing?! Well, I'm trying to exact some revenge, or commit second-degree murder -- that's for the courts to decide.
Oh, hi.
Hi, Chris.
Hey.
Thanks a lot for coming to see me.
You know, the doctor said I got hurt on my brain, but the nurse said I can take some special medicine to make it better called ice cream.
Chris, you can't shoot him.
He's simple.
You must have hurt his brain in that fight.
There's something I want to show you.
I did it.
That's you.
Hi, I'm Brett.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi, Brett.
This guy's great! Aah! I can't do it.
This isn't the evil bastard who killed my partners.
But I know he's in there, and when you're on your feet again, I'm gonna kill you real good.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Good night, vargas.
Hey, Chris, will you tell me a bedtime story? Well, all right.
UhLet's see.
Once upon a time, there was a little bunny rabbit named Chris.
Like you.
Yes, vargas.
Very much like me.
And what this little rabbit wanted, more than anything else, was to kill the evil turtle who had murdered all his buddies.
But the evil turtle's shell was too soft, and Chris knew it wouldn't be right to kill him.
So bunny Chris worked very hard to make the evil turtle's shell normal again so that he could stick a gun in his mouth and blow his brains all over the forest floor.
So did he make him normal again? We'll see, little turtle.
We shall see.
How's he coming along? He's still too stupid.
You're not becoming attached to him, are you? Are you kidding, chief? That murderous filth in there? Be careful, Chris.
Don't worry about me, chief, okay? We're entering phase two of our rehab.
I'm gonna turn that turtle in there into a killing machine.
And then that killing machine into a dying machine.
Remember this guy? Victor Logan -- ran the second biggest gang in town.
He's your mortal enemy.
Uh-huh.
You're gonna wipe him and his whole gang out.
It's gonna remind you how sweet evil tastes.
Chris, tricking a mentally impaired man into committing murder for you is against regulations.
We learned that in marshal academy day one! Ooh! You went to the marshal academy.
We're so impressed, right, Chris? Yeah, you didn't go to the marshal academy? No -- yeah.
I did.
School is cool.
With vargas out of the picture, we control the entire West Side.
The city is ours.
Hi.
Vargas! That's right.
It's vargas -- your old rival -- and he's in a killing mood.
Right? Yeah.
Your time is done, vargas! This is Logan town now.
I see taco bell? No.
He means "I'll see you in hell.
" Kill him! Aah! Come on, move it! Wow! That was fun! Hey, Logan, get up.
Come on.
Let's do it again.
He's dead, vargas.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, let's do it again wh he's not dead anymore.
You know, this is just never gonna work.
I can't kill you.
You're harmless.
Think again, Chris.
I've been wanting to put Logan down for a long time, and you just helped me do it.
Wow.
Vargas, you're cured! You're evil again! Not quite.
Brain damage -- just an act.
I've been faking it, monsanto, and you fell right into my trap.
Okay.
I'm gonna put six bullets in you -- three for my partners you wasted, one for the time I wasted, and two for Brett and susie, in case you waste them before I waste you.
See you around, kid.
Hey.
Did he look like he was happy? Vargas, you sound nice again.
I was just faking faking.
Why? He was so nice to me.
He was, likeThe best friend in the world, and I wanted to give him a present.
I pretended like I was normal And then he could kill me.
That's so sweet.
Hey, don't ever tell him the truth.
Please, don't.
Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
There we go.
Good.
Great job, Chris.
You brought justice to those brave men by killing an evil villain with all his mental faculties.
Well, thanks, kid.
And you know what, I guess you guys can stay after all, okay? All right.
Get out of here, guys.
Off you go.
Yeah.
All right.
Pow.
Come down and lay with me in a bed of spices and lilies come down
Your daddy wired the ransom into my account, so I no longer need you.
Xavier, when you get up to I want to hear you go splat, little lady.
Sorry about that, vargas, but you can't board a plane with more than two bags -- scumbags, that is.
Marshal Chris monsanto.
Who's the new partner? The name's trace domino.
Wow.
Maybe this one will survive.
Sorry, vargas.
You can't board a flight with more than two bags.
Hold on.
Coming up with a witticism.
Diamond gene! Oh! Oh, I swear I will adopt your look in tribute to your life.
Thanks.
There goes your new partner.
Not again, vargas.
Wait.
Wait a second.
How -- how many bags can you take on a plane again? Wishbone! You know something? The first bullet I put in you is for diamond gene.
The second one is for wishbone, and the third one is for that other guy -- what's his face -- the guy that wore the trench coat.
You are outnumbered.
Leapfrog? Leapfrog.
All right, you got it.
Trace! Let's dance.
I'll lead.
No more, Chris! You killed him! Killer! Aah! Why did you kill him?! Chris, I'd hoped you'd never have to use that level again.
Yeah, well, chief, after today I won't have to.
I'm done with having a partner.
That's why we're giving you two partners.
I'd like you to meet Brett mobley and susie Wagner.
Trace was a great marshal.
I'm sorry about your partner, man.
That blows.
I once had a sandwich that I loved that I dropped on the ground.
Uh, okay.
Good.
Um, hey, chief.
Look.
I really don't need Chaz Bono and Renee Richards over there gumming up works now, okay? Quite the opposite, monsanto.
Two partners is just what you need.
That way when vargas kills one of them, you'll only be half as sad.
Vargas? Vargas is dead.
UmThat's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.
He's not "dead dead.
" He's in critical condition at city hospital.
I see.
Okay.
Fine.
Well, you know something, chief, why don't you get somebody to move those pictures over to the "unavenged" side, okay? There's something I need to finish.
Chris, not in a hospital! After him, you two.
Excuse me.
Um, have you seen this autopsy report? It says you were strangled to death.
But, of course, these reports can often be wrong.
Time of death -- now.
Good news, bullets.
It's moving day.
You'll be living in vargas from now on.
Call me at Thanksgiving.
Chris, what are you doing?! Well, I'm trying to exact some revenge, or commit second-degree murder -- that's for the courts to decide.
Oh, hi.
Hi, Chris.
Hey.
Thanks a lot for coming to see me.
You know, the doctor said I got hurt on my brain, but the nurse said I can take some special medicine to make it better called ice cream.
Chris, you can't shoot him.
He's simple.
You must have hurt his brain in that fight.
There's something I want to show you.
I did it.
That's you.
Hi, I'm Brett.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi, Brett.
This guy's great! Aah! I can't do it.
This isn't the evil bastard who killed my partners.
But I know he's in there, and when you're on your feet again, I'm gonna kill you real good.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Good night, vargas.
Hey, Chris, will you tell me a bedtime story? Well, all right.
UhLet's see.
Once upon a time, there was a little bunny rabbit named Chris.
Like you.
Yes, vargas.
Very much like me.
And what this little rabbit wanted, more than anything else, was to kill the evil turtle who had murdered all his buddies.
But the evil turtle's shell was too soft, and Chris knew it wouldn't be right to kill him.
So bunny Chris worked very hard to make the evil turtle's shell normal again so that he could stick a gun in his mouth and blow his brains all over the forest floor.
So did he make him normal again? We'll see, little turtle.
We shall see.
How's he coming along? He's still too stupid.
You're not becoming attached to him, are you? Are you kidding, chief? That murderous filth in there? Be careful, Chris.
Don't worry about me, chief, okay? We're entering phase two of our rehab.
I'm gonna turn that turtle in there into a killing machine.
And then that killing machine into a dying machine.
Remember this guy? Victor Logan -- ran the second biggest gang in town.
He's your mortal enemy.
Uh-huh.
You're gonna wipe him and his whole gang out.
It's gonna remind you how sweet evil tastes.
Chris, tricking a mentally impaired man into committing murder for you is against regulations.
We learned that in marshal academy day one! Ooh! You went to the marshal academy.
We're so impressed, right, Chris? Yeah, you didn't go to the marshal academy? No -- yeah.
I did.
School is cool.
With vargas out of the picture, we control the entire West Side.
The city is ours.
Hi.
Vargas! That's right.
It's vargas -- your old rival -- and he's in a killing mood.
Right? Yeah.
Your time is done, vargas! This is Logan town now.
I see taco bell? No.
He means "I'll see you in hell.
" Kill him! Aah! Come on, move it! Wow! That was fun! Hey, Logan, get up.
Come on.
Let's do it again.
He's dead, vargas.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, let's do it again wh he's not dead anymore.
You know, this is just never gonna work.
I can't kill you.
You're harmless.
Think again, Chris.
I've been wanting to put Logan down for a long time, and you just helped me do it.
Wow.
Vargas, you're cured! You're evil again! Not quite.
Brain damage -- just an act.
I've been faking it, monsanto, and you fell right into my trap.
Okay.
I'm gonna put six bullets in you -- three for my partners you wasted, one for the time I wasted, and two for Brett and susie, in case you waste them before I waste you.
See you around, kid.
Hey.
Did he look like he was happy? Vargas, you sound nice again.
I was just faking faking.
Why? He was so nice to me.
He was, likeThe best friend in the world, and I wanted to give him a present.
I pretended like I was normal And then he could kill me.
That's so sweet.
Hey, don't ever tell him the truth.
Please, don't.
Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
There we go.
Good.
Great job, Chris.
You brought justice to those brave men by killing an evil villain with all his mental faculties.
Well, thanks, kid.
And you know what, I guess you guys can stay after all, okay? All right.
Get out of here, guys.
Off you go.
Yeah.
All right.
Pow.
Come down and lay with me in a bed of spices and lilies come down